How to calm a baby if. How you can calm your child during a tantrum: important advice from a psychologist. Correct reaction: what it is

Newborns cry for various reasons, sometimes even the behavior itself can tell what exactly is tormenting the baby.

The key is to stay calm and try each method until you find one that works for your little one.

Remember: the child will not cry just like that, any crying of the baby has a good reason, even if it is just to attract your attention: everyone needs their mother's presence in different ways.

If you don't get excited yourself, you can figure out how to calm a crying baby.

Causes of infant crying

Often times, parents make the mistake of trying to reassure their little ones the same way every time. But first you need to understand what exactly the child needs at the moment.

If a baby is crying, how can you help him? Try to determine the nature of crying and check first:

• Wet diapers or an overflowing diaper;

The discomfort from this makes the baby toss and turn and groan in a dream, and if it is still cold from phlegm, he will wake up and insistently call his parents. A characteristic feature is fidgeting, tossing and turning, whining.

• Irritated skin, diaper rash;

If your baby has sensitive skin and you don’t use any products or don’t change diapers for a long time, the bottom and legs will be covered with red spots and will itch even in dry diapers.

Spread with a soothing cream, such as zinc paste, bepanten, and be sure to give your baby an air bath.

• Inconvenient position;

The babies of the first months of life do not yet know how to roll over themselves and can simply lie in a barrel. It makes sense to turn the baby on the other side or on the tummy every hour when he sleeps for a long time.

Purchase a special pillow with a hole in the middle for the head to make it more comfortable for your baby.

In addition, there may be other reasons. Strong crying in a baby: what to do, how to find out what he wants? Here's what could be the reason:

1. Hunger;

Babies should eat as much as their body requires. You should not feed by the hour, waiting for the next scheduled feeding, if the baby is struggling with crying.

A hungry baby, if you take him in your arms, begins to look for the breast, smack his lips, open his mouth.

You will find a lot of useful information on this issue in the article Feeding on Demand >>>

1. A lot of air in the stomach;

It can be caused by improper latching of the breast or slipping on the nipple while breastfeeding.

If you feel that the baby is not breastfeeding well and has slight weight gain, then you definitely need to correct the attachment.

Due to poor grip, the child swallows air and a bursting sensation, similar to heartburn, makes him cry and be capricious.

1. Colic;

They usually begin at 2 weeks of age and end by 3 months. Most often they are manifested by a long and piercing cry. The kid does not calm down in any way and continues to cry bitterly.

Carrying on hands, soft swaying movements, warmth of mother's belly helps the child.

1. Pain;

A pen is numb, a mosquito has bitten, the temperature rises, teeth are teething - all this will lead to discomfort and the child will signal you by crying.

By the way, while your baby is still small, study the article about when teeth appear and how to relieve a baby's condition with pain in the gums: Teething in children >>>.

1. Constipation;

At the same time, the child pulls his legs to the stomach, as with colic, but also pushes.

It is worth remembering that constipation is hard feces. If the child is pumped and at the same time his feces are light yellow, liquid, then this is not constipation and no interventions in the form of candles, soap and other terrible procedures are required for the baby.

1. Fear;

I stayed alone for a long time, had a bad dream, and was frightened by a loud, sharp sound. Try to be close to your baby during his sleep in order to meet the baby, as soon as he opens his eyes and not give cause for alarm.

1. Desire to sleep;

And it happens - he wants to sleep, but he himself cannot sleep. I need a mother, handles himself, he is tired, he needs to calm down. Well, how can you handle it yourself?

1. Cold / hot.

Only by finding the right reason at the moment can you understand how to calm a newborn if he is crying.

How to calm a baby when he is crying?

• Swaddle;

Babies quickly calm down in the swaddled state. The tight space creates a feeling of life in the womb and the babies calm down.

• Unwrap;

Yes, it is a little paradoxical, but if a child is crying in swaddled clothes, then it is best to give him freedom for a while, kick his arms and legs, and stretch out.

Changing the sensations of the body helps to distract from the screaming and to consider everything around with interest.

• Smooth swinging in mom's arms;

Just pay attention to what exactly, smooth! You should never jerk a baby sharply. He has very weak cervical vertebrae, easily damaged by rough swing.

• Turn on a hairdryer or water in the bathroom;

• Skin-to-skin contact;

When there is absolutely no strength to swing the baby, put it with your belly to your belly. He will be warm and calm, his tummy will calm down, he will sleep longer and stronger.

• Give the baby a gentle massage, stroke the head, knead the arms and legs;

• Turn on music - children's or other, but not aggressive.

And most importantly, in any situation, keep external and internal calmness - the child will feel it and will be calmer himself!

For caring for a baby up to one year old, see the online course

How to calm a child during a tantrum? Parents often face this problem, but it is quite solvable. An adult doesn't need to panic, get angry, or get out of balance. There are various powerful ways that parents can take note of and apply as needed. Their effectiveness is high. The fight against hysteria should be carried out individually in each case and should correspond to the peculiarities of the psyche of children.

Often, parents ask themselves why children's tantrums appear and how to deal with them? Most often, this condition begins to manifest itself in children from the age of one. At this time, tantrums in children are caused by the manifestation of the baby's independence. He wants to learn new things, explore the environment, he has a high degree of curiosity. This is normal as children need to develop fully. It is impossible to limit the high degree of activity of the child associated with the knowledge of the world around him.

Starting from this age, the child develops an understanding, an acceptance that adults can prohibit some actions. At this age, the pattern is the expression of discontent in a vivid form. The connections between what you want and what you can manifest clearly. In other words, they can be called boundaries. You need to know how to deal with childhood tantrums, as it depends on age.

When a one-year-old child is looking for methods through which he will be able to interact with the surrounding subjects, it is very important to build normal relationships with him that correspond to situations. Why is the child hysterical? Babies take into account their primary needs: food, warmth, communication. After a while, they develop desires that can be called more conscious needs. However, at this age, the perfection of time perception is still lacking.

When desires appear, the baby wants to immediately realize them. At the same time, he is able to show perseverance, perseverance, bangs his head on the bed, cries, waves his arms, falls to the floor. This phenomenon is one of the factors causing the crisis of the first year.

A kid throwing tantrums over time gets used to the idea that not all desires are satisfied instantly. The child develops a sense of time. The same happens with volitional processes. This is a regulatory function of the psyche.

The causes of children's tantrums are initially rooted in the crisis of the first year. Violent hysteria is characteristic of almost all children. Children's strike can be of different strengths, the frequency of its occurrence changes. Why does the child throw tantrums? The reasons are also different. An important factor is the child's temperament and the behavior of all surrounding adult subjects.

With age, the child's hysteria goes away by itself. Only some children are characterized by her presence. Even adults have tantrums, especially women. Hysterical crying indicates the presence of emotional disorders. They are associated with the remnants of the already mentioned crisis. The child gets hysterical because of problems that may arise at school, in his personal life.

Reliable methods

Psychologists say that when a child is very small, he tends to cry, if he has something in pain, he is excited about something or not satisfied. Such tears are fully justified. However, you often want to calm your baby down, but it doesn't work out.

What to do if a child has a hysterics? If an adult enough baby is crying, who can independently do various things, then you need to talk to him, reminding him of some very important and urgent event, business. It should be done urgently, and crying only interferes with this. The parent must act competently, because he does not forbid the child to cry and do as he wants. Mom just asks for some favor, because of which you need to wait a while, stop crying. With many children, this method works, the hysteria really stops, and there is no need to waste extra nerves.

How to deal with child hysteria? Crying can be quite deliberate. You just need to ask the baby to cry quietly. For example, he needs to be told that his mother has a headache or that his brother or sister is sleeping. When the child obeys, the hysteria will stop. It is necessary to remain patient, then the effect will come faster.

How to properly respond to a tantrum? Sometimes it will be most correct. If your baby is in a bad mood and is actively trying to express it, you can ignore the crying. If you do not feed the tantrum with additional attention, it will go away on its own. However, in such cases, you should be very careful.

How to deal with a child's tantrums? Often times, you should pay attention to your child and show your concern. You need to find the right approach. For example, when the baby is capricious and does not want to dress, he can be offered to go for a walk, visit the birds, the cat, or find another excuse. It is important that he himself wants to stop crying and get dressed as soon as possible.

Reacting to crying, it is worth provocatively rushing the child. He will have little time to understand what is happening. This method works primarily with young children.

How to calm a child's tantrum? If the baby is upset, conspiracies can come to the rescue. They can be used in any condition. The technique involves a high degree of energy. The essence of the technique lies in the fact that you need to constantly, continuously say something incessantly. The baby will involuntarily want to listen and stop crying.

When a child is hysterical, dangles his legs, does not want to put on clothes, he freezes for a few seconds from surprise. This method helps even when you need to feed the little one. Even in the most difficult situations, it is possible to achieve passivity in behavior. But provided that the child is constantly hysterical, the chances of withstanding such conversational stress are very small. The parent should not just talk nonsense, but provide useful information for the baby.

other methods

When a child is hysterical, what to do? Tickling can be used during calming activities, and a funny story can be told that will distract a son or daughter from crying. But it will not work to stop strong tantrums. How to stop a child's tantrum? You should try to distract the baby. For example, you can tell him that there is an eyelash in the child's eye, it must be taken out, because it interferes with him while crying.

How to cope with childish tantrums when the child is already older? With age, he becomes more intelligent and quick-witted. Therefore, real surprises can be used to distract him. As soon as the tantrum begins, you should act.

What if the child throws tantrums? In many cases, you just need to say out loud what the child now feels, so that he calms down. There is always a reason for crying. Efforts should be made to ensure that children feel a lack of indifference to them. If they are unhappy, they need to show compassion.

When a child's hysteria arises, how to deal with it? An object can come to the rescue, on which negative emotions are thrown. For example, it is permissible to use a pillow, a ball, a baby hammer, and a board. The use of these items will contribute to the early release of negative emotions.

Actions in case of frequent strikes

If tantrums arise for any reason, you can come up with some kind of ritual that will be funny. After a girl or boy decides to throw a tantrum, you need to turn on the hairdryer, supposedly it will dry the tears. But you need to act with caution, some children are afraid of the sounds of household appliances. When this is the case, a different, safer method should be chosen.

How else to stop a child's tantrum? The reaction can be directed in a humorous direction. If your son has a dissatisfied, capricious face, you should jokingly call him “a monster's face”. For example, it should be said that mom or dad wants to tell something very important to a beautiful child, for this you need to calm down and wash. Counting on a good sense of humor, you should be sensitive and attentive to the mood of a crybaby. It is permissible to bring a child out of a state of hysteria when his age is more than 3 years old with the help of comforting remarks.

What can be done? Special preparations, vitamins, relieving bad mood, sweets are able to come to the rescue. With their help, older children learn to control their own emotions. All kids love desserts. Delicious food always improves your mood. Chocolate, marmalade, sweets, etc. are often used. At the same time, the baby must remember that if he starts crying hysterically, he will not be offered anything tasty.

Fighting childish tantrums can in some cases be done through strong hugs. He should feel warmth, love and care.

Important information

Constant tantrums in a child may indicate a habit developed in him that allows him to achieve his goals. Probably falling to the floor, sobbing, he can hit the walls, various objects. In most cases, children understand that their parents are willing to give in. They will not stop buying toys and sweets for him. He is allowed not to go to bed in a timely manner, etc.

At the same time, it should be remembered that when a parent makes concessions, he contributes even more to the fact that hysteria is a negative habit. It is in such situations that it will be possible to wean a child from hysterics if you do not pay attention to his crying. Often, when the desired effect does not occur, the baby is able to try harder. How to behave? An adult should remain calm, not saying a single word, not showing his indifference with either glances or gestures, so as not to respond to whims and not indulge them.

How to respond to childish tantrums? It is forbidden to make fun of them. Punishments are also not applied. It is important to maintain self-control over your own psycho-emotional state. With his own violent reactions, the child will not have the opportunity to understand how to behave differently. Self-control is a good example to emulate.

How to respond to a child's tantrum? After the end of the tantrum, you do not need to start talking about it. You can't ask him anything. After the end of the performance, the behavior should be as if nothing had happened.

How to wean a child from hysterics? No need to comment on what happened. The baby will have the opportunity to earn the good affection of the parents again. Frequent tantrums can be overcome if you follow the specified rule. If a child is hysterical for any reason, doing so can reduce the frequency of their occurrence over time.

It is important that parents act tactfully. How to get a child out of hysteria? It is necessary to initially analyze the reasons for its occurrence, and then proceed to action. Only love and care will help to cope with a crumb.

A boy, one and a half years old, went to the toddler group (duration - 2.5 hours). When mom leaves, he cries for another 20-30 minutes, calls her. How can I help the boy? Comfort, distract? If I distract him, he starts crying even more. He clearly needs comfort and support. How to do this when there are other children in the group and it is not always possible to give him individual attention?

The question of how a teacher can calm down children is answered by Montessori teacher Anna Fedosova (AMI 0–3):

Young children are no longer as dependent on a significant adult as babies. But, on the one hand, they still need support by affection, and on the other hand, they are still weakly able to maintain this connection without relying on the outside. Out of sight, out of mind. Out of mind - panic: “I am alone in this world full of unknowns, and my very immature personality, not reflected by an adult, has disappeared somewhere. Toddlers are only at the beginning of the path of being a human being alone with themselves. Therefore, the basic help in separation from mom is the presence of a substitute adult to whom you can become attached. It's not about tremendous love to the grave, but about a sufficient degree of trust, confidence that this particular person:

• responsible for you;
• will take care of you;
• will come to the rescue if required;
• will notice you when you are confused, happy, scared, proud, calm, excited and want to understand yourself or share these feelings with someone knowledgeable.

During the adaptation period, enough attention is needed. This should be a well-established procedure that adults agree on in advance. In large classrooms where a teacher and several assistants work, often the assistant who is the best at establishing intimate contact with newcomers will take over the accompaniment. Or, for each specific newcomer, one of the assistants is assigned, who at first deals primarily with his charges and is present in the class every day when the adapting baby comes.

In my small class, I study individually with the baby for a sufficient amount of time (individual lessons are conducted by a teacher, not an assistant), therefore, when the todler enters the class, I work with his main affection, and the assistant takes over those who already mostly work independently ...

How a teacher can calm a child down in a kindergarten

Everything else helps only in addition to the fact that the toddler must be provided with an alternative object of affection when he is separated from family.

What helps?

• Clear designation of the beginning and end of the lesson, understandable to the baby.
• Explicit, confident, decisive parental departure.
• Repetitive ritual of entering and exiting class (greeting and goodbye, washing hands, closing doors).

Everyone in my class knows that the crowning of my special alarm clock on the phone announces the imminent end of class. A very popular mantra is “after the crow, mom will come”, which at first I repeat to everyone who missed mom, and then they themselves remind themselves of this as necessary in order to moderate anxiety.

Real dialogue between two girls. One draws, the second glues next to it. Both don't speak in sentences yet.

First (a little sad): "Mom ..."

The second (in a business tone): "Kukareku".

Both girls continue to work.

The teacher (to himself): “Yes! The system functions without my participation! "

To console or distract? Neither one nor the other. The baby has a specific task: to cope with his emotional state, independently (otherwise it is impossible) to acquire inner balance and stability, overcoming anxiety and separation. To console is to try to do the job for the child. Distract - interfere with this work. Helping no more than necessary, just to help cope on your own - it is possible and necessary, this is support.

You tell your baby at an easy-to-understand level:

• that mom will come later;
• he is upset;
• you realize that he is upset;
• you can be with him, hug if he wants.

You can say, “You're sad. You can be sad and do something else. What do you want to do while you are sad? " And offer materials. If the child refuses, state the fact: "You want to sit here while you are sad" (why not, doing two things at the same time is very difficult). There is a delicate balance between making it clear that you see the problem and empathizing with the person, and not feeding an element of ostentation.

You radiate the confidence that grief is experienced, within your reach, that this is the same thing as washing a window or cleaning your shoes. The child has the right to do it as long as he wants, as much as he needs. He can ask for help or do something else if he wants. You can not distract from grief, but be in sight, busy with your own business. And when the kid (himself!) Shows interest (the neighbor's material is more noticeable than on the shelf), say: “I have already finished working with this material. It's your turn if you want. " Often, a picture of how others are busy helps you find your own business.

It is necessary to pay attention to parents, explain that young children have difficulty switching from one situation, from one attachment to another. The firmness and determination of an adult is important, the confidence that the child needs to stay in the classroom and it is safe. If the parent himself doubts and is afraid (he is afraid to upset, but the baby does not know what the adult is afraid of), then the child panics. If the parent, fearing to see the tears of a dear child, strives to disappear quietly, the baby begins to fear that the adult may disappear at any second, and it will not be easy to regain the little person's trust. Sometimes a parent's reliability is more important than pleasantness. Mom said she would leave and left. The kid does not have to rejoice at her departure. But if mom does what she says, then when she didn't say that she would leave, there is no need to fear that she will go somewhere.

How to calm a child down if he is crying

By itself, the time that the child cries does not mean anything. If this is a cry of despair, then five minutes is long for a Toddler. If this is a cry of grief and there is the support of a confident adult, sympathetic, but not afraid of tears, and the child emerges victorious from the situation, grieving and doing something else, then 20-30 minutes of crying is a small problem. If these are demonstrative tears, but the baby is not exhausted or overexcited, it is okay to let him make sure that this is not a working way to get attention. If demonstrative crying gets out of control of the child, then he needs help in self-regulation. You need to hug him tightly, stroke him, shake him, join him in crying and get out of him, dragging the baby along with you. Pay attention to the emotions in every way you can, but not to the hysteria itself. Empathize, but don't indulge.

If your child is distracting other students, tell him and take him to a place where noise is acceptable in your class and be there with him.

Secure attachment is the key to good learning: only the calm learns. So, if individual attention during the adaptation period is paid not for every need of the child, but, if possible, of the teacher, then it makes sense to discuss the problem and provide for help.

A sleeping child is a wonderful sight. But every parent will agree that watching a child's peaceful sleep is possible only between thoughts of how to calm a crying child. Many are lost in panic, not understanding how to calm down a crying child, begin to blame themselves for their ignorance and inability. However, these thoughts are wrong. A child has a lot of reasons for crying, and sometimes loving parents simply choose the wrong way to calm him down. This article details the causes of crying and how to calm your crying baby.

Why is the child crying?

How to calm a crying child, Harvey Karpakak's method to calm a crying child Being in the womb, the child always remained under protection, did not feel the influence of external factors and always received everything necessary for its formation and development. Therefore, most often a crying child conveys to others that something is bothering him. The surest solution to calm a crying baby is to check right away if any of the factors listed below are the cause.

The main reasons for a crying baby:

The child is hungry, and thus asks to feed him;
-time to change the diaper / diapers;
- a crying child may have stomach ache, gas, colic, constipation;
- due to a change in temperature, the child may freeze or, on the contrary, he becomes hot;
-not comfortable clothes or diapers;
-the crying baby is teething;
-the child is very tired.

But sometimes it seems that a crying child just likes to scream, that is, parents cannot find reasons for concern and how to calm him down. Parents wonder how to calm their newborn baby. And for such cases, there are many ways to help and calm him, which will be discussed later.

What should be done first to calm the crying person?

To calm a crying newborn baby, you need to check for possible causes right away. Namely, whether it is necessary to change diapers or diapers, whether the tummy is swollen or tense, whether the child has eaten for a long time, whether it is cold, and so on. If all the conditions for a comfortable life of the child are met, you need to move on to universal methods of calming.

How to calm an infant crying for no apparent reason.

1. First, take the crying baby in your arms, shake it slightly, and hold it close to you. Children feel cared for and cared for and understand that they are safe, this will help calm the child.
2. Try breastfeeding a crying baby.
3. The child can be disturbed by the environment, therefore, in order to calm him down, it is better to leave with the crying child in a quiet place and keep yourself under control, not showing him your tension and excitement. Don't be afraid to trust your crying baby to your dad. As a rule, men are more able to restrain their emotions and not show them to others, therefore, in the hands of a calm person, a crying child will sooner stop being capricious and it will be easier to calm him down.
4. You can also try a sling. In it, the child feels protected, like in a cradle. In addition, with the moment you can go about your business in parallel.
5. Try to distract the crying baby with external factors. Play with your baby with a bright or ringing (but in moderation!) Toy, turn on the music.

7 More Tricks to Calm Your Child

6. When asking themselves how to calm a crying newborn baby, parents sometimes forget to talk to him. But the voice of a loved one will help calm and lull a crying child. By changing the intonation and timbre of your voice, you can influence its state and behavior.
7. An interesting and equally effective way to calm a baby is to put a rag or a handkerchief soaked in breast milk in the crib for a crying baby. The child will feel the scent of the mother next to him, which will help to calm him down and feel the child is protected.
8. One of the most commonplace ways to calm a crying child is to give him a dummy if he takes it.
9. You can try to calm the crying child with sudden movements. A rhythmic dance, aerobics class or a funny song for your child will help you forget about tears. In addition, this way you can spend time with the benefit of both the child and the parent.
10. Try to interest and calm the crying child with unusual things. Tinsel, plant leaves and the like will surely captivate him. But remember about the safety of your child.
11. Go out for a walk with your child or just take a ride in a stroller.
12. Get out a book with bright pictures and try to let the crying baby look at them. A crying child can be distracted for a very long time, and this can help calm him down.

The methods of the American pediatrician Harley Karp are based on numerous experiences and simple logic. Unlike animals, a child is born not fully formed and adapted to life. And guessing what worries him is extremely difficult. Therefore, the main help that loving parents can provide is to create the most similar conditions in which the child was in the womb.

Harley Karp's Five Rules.

After studying the behavior of moms and dads for several decades, Harley Karp invented and outlined 5 rules that will help calm a crying child in a completely different world, different from the womb of a mother:

Swaddling

Position on the side or on the tummy

Wiggle

Habitual noises

Pacifiers.

The first way how to calm a newborn baby is swaddling.

It is necessary to swaddle a crying baby in a swaddling cloth or thin blanket so that its arms are pressed in a comfortable position at the sides, and the legs are not wrapped too tightly. According to Karp, this way the child feels safe, because open space often scares him, and this will calm him down. In addition, the child will not be able to swing the arms, thereby hurting himself and frightening.

Second way- put the crying baby on its side or on the tummy.

However, remember that it is so dangerous for a child to fall asleep, so you cannot sleep in this position. Therefore, after the crying child is able to calm down and he falls asleep, throw him on his back.

Third way, how to calm down a crying child - the so-called "white noise".

While in the womb, the baby heard various monotonous sounds for all nine months, such as the beating of the heart and the flow of blood through the veins. Of course, you can sing a lullaby to a crying baby, but various sounds like a kitchen hood or a soft hiss will help to calm a newborn baby using the Harvey Karp method. Harvey suggests using noise between radio stations. But be careful with the sound, so as not to frighten or harm the child. Experiment with sounds and their volume to find the best and most effective way.

The next method is wiggle.

Harvey Karp argues that you cannot shake a crying child in order to calm him down, but light flutters will quickly calm him down. After all, being in the womb, the child was constantly undergoing movement and displacement. For this method, place the crying baby, tummy down, in your arms, so that his head rests comfortably in your palm. Do not overdo it with motion sickness; movements should be gentle and not strong.

Harvey Karp's Final Method - A Plain Dummy.

The baby feels calmer when breastfeeding, even if he is not hungry. Therefore, offering to suck a crying baby on a finger or a pacifier can quickly calm a newborn baby. The author of the technique advises to perform all of the above methods. He assures that if they are performed correctly, it will definitely be possible to calm a newborn child in the shortest possible time.

Conclusion.

It must be remembered that each child is individual and perceives the world around him differently. Remember that you must be extremely calm when wondering how to calm down a crying child. In the first stages of a baby's life, his parents are the closest people who are obliged to provide him with peace and protection. And a newborn baby should feel it. Experiment with methods of calming, do not be afraid to take a crying baby in your arms more often so that he feels cared for and affectionate. And remember that if none of the methods helps, the child continues to cry and cannot be reassured, then you should consult a doctor.

Improving your child's nighttime sleep

Darcia narvaez, https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes

"My baby is happy and calm only in my arms, as soon as I put it off, he starts crying".

"At night, the baby wakes up every hour, I just have no strength".

Such complaints are often heard from young people.parents .

Most children wake up at night and expect their parents to help calm them down. As the baby grows, the number of awakenings during the night decreases and the need for help to get back to sleep decreases, but all this persists for a rather long period of time. Recent research Weinraub et al. 2012 confirms thatnight awakenings are normal for babies ... 66% of 6-month-olds wake up at least once or twice a week at night, with the rest even more often. Some babies as young as 12 months may cry when they wake up, even if they quietly drifted back to sleep on the previous nights.

Getting back to sleep easily with the help of an adult is one of the essential values ​​for our little ones, as well as an important task for parents in need of rest. Adults who are trying to reassure their children can gain tangible support from the science of nighttime toddler care. She uncovers important knowledge about soothing babies and explains why certain methods are most likely to help you do so.

What is important to know about tranquility?

· The presence of an adult helps calm children who wake up in a bad mood. Babies (especially in the first months of life) are not yet able to regulate their emotional states. This is one of the reasons why crying episodes tend to increase in the first 2-3 months of life, and then their frequency decreases. Babies can cry or worry for many reasons, including hunger, pain or other uncomfortable conditions, and sometimes simply due to the need for physical contact. For example, carrying a baby for 3-4 hours a day reduces the total crying / restless behavior of an infant at 6 weeks of age by 43% (Hunziker & Barr, 1988).

Worry and crying are the most important means by which a child can express his needs and desires. We may not always be able to pinpoint the exact cause of this behavior, but the manifestation of visible and audible signs of suffering is undoubtedly the most important protective and adaptive function of infants. Calming an upset toddler relies on sensory input from a caring adult - touch, soothing voice, smell, eye contact, breastfeeding. This is how nature intended it. Children rely on their caregivers to be reassured and helped to cope with other factors that upset or discomfort them, such as pain, hunger, or some physical or emotional condition that we cannot pinpoint. The presence of an adult and attention to the infant when he wakes up and cries helps him fall back to sleep more quickly (Mao, Burnham, Goodlin-Jones, Gaylor, & Anders, 2004).

· The infant learns self-complacency by receiving external assistance in calming. The adult helps to develop the ability - physiologically and emotionally - to calm himself, helping the baby to calm down without ignoring his suffering. It is the most important parenting support for their children (Davidov & Grusec, 2006; Stifter & Spinrad, 2002). Parents often question the need to be with a crying baby, fearing that it will interfere with their child's ability to cope with stress on their own. But following this approach becomes a cause of increased anxiety for the child, he "sticks" to his parents, not letting them go a step away from him. stress and the length of the infant's wakefulness. This does not in the least contribute to the independent emotional or physical regulation of the child's suffering and reactions. On the contrary, in order to learn to sleep, your baby needs caring and leading parental involvement. Such relationships help the child to form mental stability and the ability to self-regulation; in case of problems, he will be able to calm himself down.

· Understanding the reasons for the manifestation of more severe anxiety in some children than others. Worrying after waking up is completely normal behavior. Stressful babies need attention to get help regaining a sense of security. However, it is important to understand that the way in which this kind of care is provided may vary from child to child. Since some babies cry little or not much, many people tend to expect the same behavior from all babies. But babies differ significantly from each other in terms of the frequency and strength of crying. These differences are due to many factors, including temperament, impressions, sensations, and physiological maturity. Thus, the degree and duration of the need for external regulation (tranquility) varies for different children. Providing external regulation for babies who feel less protected and therefore more stressed is in fact helps, and does not interfere with them. This helps build neural pathways that ultimately enable babies to cope with stress and calm themselves (Cassidy, 1994; Stifter & Spinrad, 2002).

· Understanding and tracking when awakenings become a problem. Awakenings are a normal part of childhood sleep and vary with several infant factors:

1) feeding method (breast or bottle),

2) age,

3) developmental disabilities,

4) the individual level of maturity.

With these conditions in mind, every family needs to understand if revivals are a problem for the family. Awakenings shouldn't be considered a problem just because they happen.... The belief that awakenings are the cause of "sleep difficulties" distorts current knowledge about childhood sleep . We know that multiple awakenings during nighttime sleep are normal for babies, especially breastfed babies. And given the neurological immaturity of human babies at birth, awakenings serve as a primary defense mechanism against the danger of apnea and provide oxygenation to the body. In addition, transient and prolonged awakenings can help cope with cardiopulmonary problems during sleep and restore the natural rhythm of the heartbeat (Mosko et al 1997a). First studies sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) showed that infants who wake up more often at night are less at risk of dying from SIDS than those who wake up significantly less often (see review by McKenna 1995 and Mosko et al 1997a and b).

By the time the child outgrows the period of the main risk of SIDS, the cyclicality of his awakenings and dreams becomes more systematic, studies show that many children continue to wake up at night (Weinraubetal., 2012). Even then, nightly awakenings are appropriate to be seen as a family issue rather than a child's “sleep problem”. If an adult is satisfied with waking up a one-year-old child 2 or more times during the night, no problem!

To summarize: Crying on awakening is completely normal behavior. Helping a crying baby to calm down and comfort supports the development of his ability to self-calm in the future.

Natural ways to calm your baby

The first 3 months of life are known to many as"fourth trimester of pregnancy"when the baby needs it. Some newborns easily adapt to new living conditions, others more difficult. Many of the ways that parents instinctively use to calm their babies actually recreate the pleasant, familiar sensations that have become familiar to the baby during his time in the womb. These methods work really well for all kids.

Recreation of movement.The uterus is a space in constant motion, so dancing, swaying from side to side, brisk walking, shaking a car ride, as a rule, help babies to calm down.

In what cases you should not sleep with your child. It is important that parents refrain from sleeping together if they are not breastfeeding and, of course, if either parent is under the influence, drugs or that which can disrupt the naturalness of the process of excitation-inhibition of the nervous system. Children should sleep on a different surface next to their parents' bed if:

1) adults sleeping nearby are overly drowsy,

2) there is a possibility that small children will look for a way and opportunity to get into bed with their parents,

3) there is an adult in bed who refuses to take responsibility for the child.

Shared sleep should be avoided if during pregnancy, as the infant may have disturbed wake-up rhythms and this will interfere with effective provision of maximum safety in co-sleeping conditions. The same is true for small premature babies. For them, the safest is the organization of sleep in an extra bed, and not in a common bed. And finally it is very risky to sleep with an infant on a couch, sofa, or chair. There are many known cases when children suffocated, being caught between an adult and any piece of furniture. In all of the above cases, sleeping together on different sleeping surfaces in the same room is a more appropriate option than sleeping together in a shared bed.

An important point: wherever the child sleeps, he should always lie on his back. Moreover, it is necessary to ensure that the baby is located away from soft bedding, pillows or toys, so that nothing interferes with breathing, and his head is not covered with any objects, regardless of whether he sleeps next to his parents or apart from them.

More information on sleeping safely can be found (and further on the links at the end of the article).

Breast-feeding.In addition to the other benefits of breastfeeding for health and cognitivedevelopment of the child, it is a wonderful way to calm down. Breastfeeding provides skin-to-skin contact and warmth, comfortable and beneficial for parents, making it easier to manage awakenings and help reduce depression (Fergerson, Jamieson, & Lindsay, 2002). In addition, mothers who exclusively breastfeed actually get more sleep and less fatigue during the day, compared to those who exclusively breastfeed or mixed ( Kendall-Tackett, Cong, & Hale, 2011).

Listen to your child and trust your instincts.Babies are great at communicating, and adults are generally adept at choosing the best way to respond. The ability to rock a child or talk to him softly and tenderly is inherent in us by nature. Thus, an attentive attitude to him and to his feelings will help to calm the baby. Parents need to learn to listen to themselves and keep their babies safe and healthy.If the child is crying while in the arms of the parents, you can choose a more comfortable position for him, but not leave the baby alone.If the adult is immobile, it may be necessary to start moving; if it is already in motion, try to start rocking. Trust your instincts, they will tell you the best way to connect with your child.

Note to Parents: There is only one expert on your baby - you. Sometimes you can easily find a way to calm your child down; At times, you will feel like the methods that worked before have stopped working. However, being patient with your child and with yourself will help you both learn to overcome difficulties and improve.

What if the rituals continue to cause stress?

Perhaps it is time to change something if an adult begins to think: "I have been comforting the baby at night for a long time ... What can be done so that at least sometimes the night's sleep is uninterrupted?"

Yes, some of these changes come over time - as a recent study by Weinraub showed, every baby has a different time frame. There are also some ways that parents can use them to gently move in the desired direction with their child. We will share some options for helping children to reduce the need for attention at night, if that is what is needed for family well-being. These approaches build on the critical calming activities described in this article:

· Listen, watch the baby's signals;

· Provide the kid with care and support;

· Help your toddler learn self-soothingness.

Bibliography/ Links*

Cassidy, J. (1994). Emotion regulation: Influences of attachment relationships. Monographs of the Society for Research inChild development , 59, 228-283.

Davidov, M. & Grusec, J.E. (2006). Untangling the links of parental responsiveness to distress and warmth to child outcomes. Child Development, 77, 44-58.

Fergerson, S. S., Jamieson, D. J., & Lindsay, M. (2002). Diagnosing postpartum depression: can we do better? American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology, 186, 899-902.

Hunziker, U.A., & Barr, R.G. (1986). Increased carrying reduces infant crying: A randomized controlled trial. Pediatrics, 77, 641-648.ftp: //urstm.com/CharestJ/Articles.pdf/Hunziker%20U%201986.pdf

Kendall-Tackett, K.A., Cong, Z., & Hale, T.W. (2011). The effect of feeding method on sleep duration, maternal well-being, and postpartum depression. ClinicalLactation, 2 (2), 22-26.

Mao, A., Burnham, M.M., Goodlin-Jones, B.L., Gaylor, E.E., & Anders T.F. (2004). A comparison of the sleep-wake patterns of cosleeping and solitary-sleeping infants. ChildPsychiatry and Human Development, 35, 95-105.

McKenna, J.J. (1995). The Potential Benefits of Infant-Parent Co-Sleeping in Relation to SIDS Prevention, by In Torliey O. Rognum, Ed., SIDS in the 90s. Scandinavian Press, 1995.

Evolution and the Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) Part II: Why Human Infants? Human Nature 1 (2).

McKenna, J. J., & Mosko, S. (1990). Evolution and the Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), Part III: Parent-Infant Co-sleeping and Infant Arousal, Human Nature: 1 (2).

McKenna, J. J., & Mosko, S. (2001). Mother-Infant Cosleeping: Toward a New Scientific Beginning, in R. Byard and H. Krous, eds., Sudden Infant Death Syndrome: Puzzles, Problems and Possibilities. London: Arnold Publishers.

Infant Arousals During Mother-Infant Bed Sharing: Implications for Infant Sleep and SIDS Research, Pediatrics 100 (2): 841-849.

Mosko, S., Richard, C., & McKenna, J. (1997). Maternal Sleep and Arousals During Bedsharing with Infants, Sleep 201 (2): 142-150.

Stifter, C.A. & Spinrad, T.L. (2002). The effect of excessive crying on the development of emotion regulation. Infancy, 3, 133-152.

Weinraub, M., Bender, R. H., Friedman, S. L., Susman, E. J., Knoke, B., Bradley, R., Houts, R., Williams, J. (2012). Patterns ofdevelopmental change in infants' nighttime sleep awakenings from 6 through 36 months of age. Developmental Psychology, 48, 1501-1528.

*Note: Many links are available for download as articles and in the FAQ section of www.cosleeping.nd.edu, which provide details on the safety of sleeping together and discuss conflicting opinions on the topic.