Regulations 

What is the climate in the family and how not to go down the slippery path. “The psychological climate of the family as an important component in the upbringing of the child Relationship in the family psychological climate

The family is one of the most important institutions for the formation of a person's personality. In it, the child receives the first experience of communication, social interaction. Later, social institutions such as kindergarten and school are included in a person's life.

The psychological climate of the family is a stable emotional mood, which is the result of family communication. It has an important impact on the development of both children and adults. It is created by family members, and it depends on their efforts whether it will be favorable or unfavorable.

A favorable psychological climate is characterized by cohesion and goodwill. In families with a favorable psychological climate, everyone treats each other with love, respect and trust. When anxiety and emotional discomfort are felt in the family, this indicates an unfavorable psychological family climate. The main condition for the normal psychosocial development of the child is a calm and friendly environment, which is created by parents by their attentive attitude to the emotional needs of the child, conversations with him, observation and maintenance of discipline. Under the influence of certain situations, children may experience disturbances in the emotional sphere or behavior, such as unreasonable fears, sleep disturbances, etc., which are temporary. In children with certain features, they often appear, and lead to social maladjustment. Such conditions may be defined as mental disorders.

Intra-family relations and a favorable psychological climate of the family have a great influence on the formation of the personality of the child, who learns the norms of behavior and relations of parents. In accordance with these norms, children begin to build their relationships with loved ones, and later transfer the skills of these relationships to the people around them, comrades, and teachers. In families that do not have unity in raising a child and violate the important pedagogical principles of respect and exactingness towards him, the ground is created for the wrong formation of a person's character.

Based on this, we can say that the family climate and the personal example of parents play an important role in raising a child. Of considerable importance are the educational methods and techniques by which parents influence the child. A cold emotional attitude towards a child adversely affects his development, it slows him down and impoverishes him.

Children need encouragement, recognition, or other form of approval if they do the right thing, as well as criticism, disagreement, if they do the wrong thing. Children who are praised for good behavior but not pointed out for wrong actions learn more slowly through their many mistakes. It should be remembered that positive emotional experiences should prevail over negative ones, so the child should be encouraged more often than scolded. Any success of the child should be praised and not noticed his failures, which rarely happen to him.

Naturally, punishment should never call into question the love of parents. It is better not to use physical punishment, because. it shows the powerlessness of the parents. They cause in the child a feeling of humiliation and shame and do not contribute to the development of self-discipline. Children who are physically punished tend to be obedient only when supervised by adults, and behave very differently when they are not around.

The development of consciousness is better promoted by “psychological” punishments : if we let the child understand that we do not agree with him, we are angry with him, etc., then the feeling of guilt that we awaken in the child will be a strong regulator of his behavior even at the moment when the child is left without parental supervision.

The main task of parents is to create confidence in the child that he is loved and taken care of. Under no circumstances should a child have doubts about parental love. The most necessary of all the duties of a parent is to treat a child at any age with love and attention.

Showing love for a child

eye contact;

Talk about love;

tactile contact,

Joint classes, help in his affairs, attention to his problems, etc.

The correct formation of the mental world of a person is possible only if the child is confident in parental love, moral behavior can be educated on the basis of love, only love can teach love. Children who have not received the amount of love they need cannot endure life's stresses and difficulties. They react to them much earlier and stronger than children who are more stable, thanks to the emotionally comfortable family climate. From this we can conclude: a "difficult" child needs only help - in no case in criticism and punishment.

The reasons for persistent disobedience of the child are in the depths of his psyche. At first glance, it seems that he simply does not obey, but in fact the reason is different. And, as a rule, it is emotional and is not realized by either the adult or the child himself. The conclusion follows: such reasons need to be known.

The main causes of serious violations children's behavior

1. The first is the struggle for attention. If a child is not getting the right amount of attention for his normal development and emotional well-being, then he finds his own way to get it: disobedience.

2. The second reason is the struggle for self-assertion against excessive parental authority and guardianship. If comments and advice are too frequent, then the child begins to resist this. The meaning of such behavior for the child is to defend the right to decide his own affairs, and to show that he is a person.

3. The third reason is the desire for revenge. Children are often offended by their parents. The reasons may be different: mother and father separated, and a stepfather appeared in the house. “Bad” behavior in this case can be expressed as follows: “You did me badly - let it be bad for you too! ..” Here it is necessary to teach yourself and children how to deal with insults. We have to choose: to be offended, thereby harming our personality, or not to be offended, forgiving the offender.

4. The fourth reason is the loss of faith in one's own success. Sometimes it happens that a child experiences his trouble in one area of ​​life, and his failures can occur in a completely different one. For example, the boy did not develop relationships in the classroom, and the result of this will be neglected studies, in another case, failure at school leads to defiant behavior at home, etc.

This "displacement of ill-being" is due to the child's low self-esteem. Due to the accumulated failures and criticism in his address, he loses self-confidence. The child comes to the conclusion: “There is nothing to try, it still won’t work out.” By his behavior, he shows: “I don’t care”, “And let him be bad.”

It is very important to know that the foundation of self-esteem is laid in the very first years of a child's life, and depends on how the parents treat him. The child begins to see himself as others see him.

Thus, any violation of the child's behavior is a signal for help. By his behavior, he tells us: “I feel bad! Help me!"

Externally, different causes can manifest themselves in the same way. For example, poor academic performance may be associated : with a desire to attract attention, with an unwillingness to obey someone else's will, with a lack of self-confidence. To identify the true cause of disobedience and bad behavior, you need to pay attention to your own feelings:

If we feel resentment, then we need to ask ourselves: what made the child hurt us? What is his own pain? How did we offend him? Having understood the reason, we must try to eliminate it.

The experiences of parents are a kind of mirror of the hidden emotional problem of the child. It is necessary to understand the problem of your child: with what, against what he “fought”.

Help is different for each case.

If there is a fight for attention , you need to find a way to show the child your positive attitude towards him. It can be joint classes, walks, visits to museums, cinemas. The child will respond with gratitude.

If conflict situations are a struggle for self-affirmation, then it is necessary to reduce your control over the affairs of the child. It is important for children to accumulate their experience of decisions and even failures.

It is important to understand that the stubbornness and self-will of a child is just a form of behavior that irritates us and his desire to start learning to live with his “mind”.

It is important to note that our efforts to establish peace and discipline in the family will require great patience from us. We need to switch negative emotions (irritation, anger, resentment and despair) to constructive actions, i.e. change yourself. This is the only way to raise our beloved "difficult" child.

The definition of a “difficult” child shows how difficult it is for him to reach out to us, and then to believe us, because we were the first to show our distrust of him. We must understand that the solution to any problem in education must begin with ourselves: with our negative qualities and mistakes. By improving ourselves, we will improve the world around us.

When family members experience anxiety, emotional discomfort, alienation, in this case they speak of an unfavorable psychological climate in the family. All this prevents the family from fulfilling one of its main functions - psychotherapeutic, relieving stress and fatigue, and also leads to depression, quarrels, mental tension, and a deficit in positive emotions. If family members do not strive to change this situation for the better, then the very existence of the family becomes problematic. Often, unfortunately, there are families where there is no cohesion and friendliness. It all starts with the lack of full communication between spouses and children. The communicative sphere is of great importance for the development and unity of the family. A negative psychological climate is not necessarily formed in a socially dysfunctional family, that is, an incomplete family, or one where there are drug addicts, alcoholics, or mentally ill people. It happens that the family is financially secure, each of the members is studying or working, the children are developing, and the parents live in a healthy way, but there is no communication and understanding. Then you should pay attention to what caused the alienation. Perhaps this is the incompatibility of a man and a woman in marriage, the undesirability of children, the lack of common goals and plans for the future. Children in such families grow up detached, or, conversely, too spoiled if parents pay off the need to communicate with them with gifts and money. Each family can be considered as something whole, which has its own type of character. The development of the personality of a teenager in the family depends on what type of relationship has been established between the parents. Each type of relationship in the family is a prerequisite for a certain type of upbringing. Here we have in mind the understanding of the goals of education, and the methods of education, and the consideration of what can and cannot be allowed in relation to the child. For an unfavorable climate in the family, 3 tactics of upbringing in the family can be distinguished and 3 types of family relations corresponding to them, which are the prerequisite and result of their occurrence: dictate, guardianship, "non-intervention". Dictatorship in the family is manifested in the systematic suppression of children's initiative and self-esteem by parents. In such a family there are certain persons who consider their opinion unquestioning and always correct. Often it is either one of the parents, or both, and they suppress the will of the weaker family member, that is, the child. Of course, parents can and should make demands on their child, based on the goals of education, moral standards, specific situations in which it is necessary to make pedagogically and morally justified decisions. However, those who prefer orders and violence to all kinds of influence face the resistance of the child, who responds to pressure, coercion and threats with hypocrisy, deceit, outbursts of rudeness, and sometimes outright hatred. But even if the resistance turns out to be broken, along with it there is a breakdown of many personality traits: independence, self-esteem, initiative, faith in oneself and one's capabilities, all this is a guarantee of unsuccessful personality formation. Growing up, a child can fall under the influence of any other authoritarian system: a sect, a criminal company, in which he will be just as obedient and controllable. As an adult, either he himself is a very authoritarian character, or he will become an executor of someone else's will: passive, dependent and depressed. Guardianship in the family is a system of relations in which parents satisfy all the needs of the child, protect him from any worries, efforts and difficulties, taking them upon themselves. The question of the active formation of personality fades into the background. Parents, in fact, block the process of serious preparation of a teenager for reality beyond the threshold of his home. Such excessive concern for the child, excessive control over his entire life, based on close emotional contact, is called hyperprotection. It leads to passivity, lack of independence, difficulties in communication. The child develops an infantile-consumer attitude to the world, he painfully reacts to any requirements and restrictions. There is a delay in the development of skills, as a result of a decrease in intellectual and physical development. There is also an opposite concept - hypo-custody, which implies a combination of an indifferent attitude of a parental attitude with a complete lack of control. Teenagers can do whatever they want. As a result, they become selfish, cynical people who are not able to respect anyone, do not deserve respect themselves, but still demand the fulfillment of all their whims. The system of interpersonal relations in the family, based on the recognition of the possibility and even expediency of the independent existence of adults from children, can be generated by the tactics of "non-intervention". This assumes that two worlds can coexist: adults and children, and neither one nor the other should cross the line thus outlined. Most often, this type of relationship is based on the passivity of parents as educators, and sometimes their emotional coldness, indifference, inability and unwillingness to learn to be a parent. Such a system of interpersonal relations takes place both in dysfunctional families, where parents drink or lead an immoral lifestyle, and in a family with a high level of income, where parents are busy with their own affairs. Deviations in family relations negatively affect the development of the personality of a teenager, his character, self-esteem and other psychological qualities of a person; these children may have various problems: anxiety, deterioration in school performance, difficulties in communication, and many others. Parents should be sympathetic to the various and varied manifestations of the child's personality, they should have the ability to perceive and love their children as they are. This gives children a chance to find acceptable non-competitive positions in relation to each other, maintains emotional contact between parents and children. In the upbringing of a teenager, it is not direct manipulation through severe restrictions that is more effective, but faith in the self-developing power of the child, the development of his independence.

Conclusion for chapter 1:

Modern science has numerous data showing that family education in terms of strength and effectiveness is incomparable with any, even qualified, education in a kindergarten or school. The uniqueness of home education is explained, first of all, by the primacy, special significance of close adults in the life of a child due to his biological and psychological dependence on them. Creation of moral spiritual intra-family relations that provide a healthy microclimate is the basis for the successful development of a person. The definition of the stability of intra-family relations is the psychological climate in the family, which has a decisive influence on the development and formation of the child's personality. The position of the child in the family varies depending on his age. The younger he is, the more central he occupies in the family, the stronger his dependence on his parents. When he gets older, his dependence decreases, on the contrary, his autonomy grows, his rights are noticeably equalized with other family members. The psychological development of adolescents is characterized by the fact that, in fact, this entire period is accompanied by a crisis. Its prerequisite is the destruction of the old structure of the personality, the inner world, the system of experiences of the child, which were formed before this age. Deviations in family relationships negatively affect his character, self-esteem and other psychological qualities of a person. A family where the leading type of relationship is cooperation, where parents communicate with teenagers on an equal footing, where everyone can ask a question or request and get help, acquires a special quality, becomes group of a high level of development - a team. In families where the types of upbringing are dictate, guardianship or "non-intervention", adolescents may experience various problems: anxiety, deterioration in school performance, communication difficulties, and many others. Parents should be sympathetic to the various and diverse manifestations of the child's personality, should have the ability to accept and love their children for who they are.

Report on district parent meeting

« The psychological climate of the family as an important component in the upbringing of the child.

Tasks:

1. Show the importance of the psychological climate in the family for raising a child.

2. Expand the knowledge of parents about the types of parenting and their impact on the development of the child's personality.

Plan:

1. The role of the family.

2. Psychological climate in the family.

3. Types of education and their influence on the development of the child.

4. Viewing the presentation "On the upbringing of children."

5. Reflection.

Equipment, materials: laptop, presentation “On the upbringing of children”, O.A. Nikolaeva’s blog “Besedochka” for working on types of upbringing, handouts for each “Sayings and aphorisms about raising children”.

PERFORMANCE:

The family acts as the most important factor in the development of the individual. Here the child is born, here he receives initial knowledge about the world and the first life experience.

Probably many will agree with me that it is the family, family education that plays the main role in the development of the child, both preschool and school age. The child should be brought up by parents, and all social institutions (kindergartens, schools) can only help them in providing conditions for the child's self-development, helping him to know his individual inclinations, inclinations and realize them in an acceptable form, useful for himself and society. Family education has a wide time range of influence: it lasts a person’s entire life, occurs at any time of the day, at any time of the year.

What a child acquires in the family in childhood, he retains throughout his life. The importance of the family as an institution of education is due to the fact that the child lives in it for a significant part of his life, and in terms of the duration of his impact on the personality, none of the institutions of education can be compared with the family. It lays the foundations of the child's personality, and by the time he enters school, he is already more than half formed as a person.

The family can act as both a positive and a negative factor in upbringing. The positive impact on the personality of the child is that no one, except for the people closest to him in the family - mother, father, grandmother, grandfather, brother, sister, treats the child better, does not love him and does not care so much about him. And at the same time, no other social institution can potentially do as much harm in raising children as a family can.

The family is a special kind of collective that plays the main, long-term and important role in education. It is in the family that the child receives the first life experience, makes the first observations on how to behave in various situations. It is very important that what we teach a child is supported by concrete examples, so that he sees that in adults theory does not diverge from practice.

PSYCHOLOGICAL CLIMATE

A more or less stable emotional mood characteristic of a particular family is called the psychological climate of the family. It is a consequence of family communication, i.e. arises as a result of the mood of all family members, their emotional experiences and unrest, attitudes towards each other, to other people, to work, to surrounding events. In the family, people spend most of their lives, they are connected with each other by the most intimate feelings and relationships. Therefore, the psychological climate is a complex of psychological conditions that contribute to or hinder family cohesion.

The psychological state, development of the child is influenced by the emotional state of the parents themselves, the relationship between family members. All sorts of quarrels, alcohol abuse, scenes of physical harm to parents to each other, frequent swearing in front of a child negatively affects his emotional state. And if these cases are constant in the family and the child experiences constant stress in connection with this, then a neurotic state may occur.

The emotional state of the child, in turn, affects the intellectual development of the child. It is noted that the mental abilities of children and young people growing up in a negative social environment are definitely lower than those growing up in a favorable social environment.


There are 2 types of psychological climate: favorable and unfavorable.
The favorable psychological climate of the family is characterized by the following features: cohesion, the possibility of all-round development of the personality, a sense of security and emotional satisfaction, pride in belonging to one's family, responsibility, well-developed self-criticism and benevolent criticism of any family member, mutual tolerance and correctness in cases of discrepancy opinions. Here the law of life is the desire and ability to understand another person. An important indicator of the psychological climate of the family is the desire of its members to spend their free time in the home circle, talk on topics of interest, and do homework together.
Basically, parents spend most of their time at work, where their relationships, moods are, and when we come home, we sometimes don’t think that our loved ones, mostly children, suffer from the fact that parents have a bad mood, there is no one to talk to. Sometimes we bring all the negative emotions home, breaking down on our children. The unfavorable psychological climate of the family leads to quarrels, psychological tension, and depression.


But what happens to children? You can often hear from teachers that the child behaves badly in the lesson, interferes with the lesson, etc. But at home he is completely calm, polite. Why? This is the same as with parents. At work, we try to look carefree, but when we get home, we become unbearable: everything annoys us, we don’t want to talk to anyone, i.e. we get rid of all the negative emotions that have accumulated over the whole day, and the child suffers, i.e. we transfer our problems, worries to our child. This happens all the time and turns into an appropriate way of life.
Even from primary school age, we can observe how a child lives in a family, how he feels himself in it. You can not ask about this, but watch how children play, during the game they transform into their parents, copy their actions (put them in a corner, swear loudly, etc.)


According to statistics, a child is given from 17 to 30 minutes a day. With age, this time decreases.
It brings up the child the whole everyday life of the family, the relationship between its members, to work, rest, etc.
“Your own behavior is the most decisive thing,” Anton Semenovich Makarenko wrote, “Do not think that you bring up a child only when you talk to him, or teach him, or order him. You bring him up at every moment of your life, even when you are not at home. How you dress, how you talk to other people and about other people, how you are happy or sad, how you communicate with friends or enemies, how you laugh, read the newspaper - all this is of great importance for a child. The child sees or feels the slightest changes in tone, all turns of your thought reach him in invisible ways, you do not notice them. And if at home you are rude, or boastful, or drunk, and even worse, if you insult the mother, you are already doing great harm to your children, you are already raising them badly, and your unworthy behavior will have the most sad consequences.

The true essence of educational work, you yourself have already guessed this, probably does not lie at all in your conversations with the child, not in direct influence on the child, but in the organization of your family, your personal and social life and in the organization of the child's life. Educational work is, first of all, the work of an organizer. In this case, therefore, there are no trifles.


It is very important that the family consolidates the skills and habits of behavior that are formed in the child at school. Uniform, coordinated requirements of the family and school are one of the conditions for proper education.

TYPES OF FAMILY EDUCATION

(ON BLOG tasks)

Top 10 Parenting Mistakes
in raising children

    1. Inconsistency. This is a very common mistake. If the kid messed up, parents scold him and warn him of all sorts of restrictions. But some time passes and the mother, forgetting that she recently threatened the child to cancel a walk in the park or watching cartoons, as if forgetting her own promise, leads to the rides or turns on the animated series.

Consequences: the child grows up self-willed, he ceases to take seriously the words of his parents. It turns out, as in the proverb: "The dog barks - the wind carries."

    2. Inconsistency of demands on the part of adults. Often there is a situation when completely different requirements are imposed on the child in the family, for example, the mother wants the child to clean up the toys after the game, and the grandmother cleans up herself. Often disputes about the correctness of a particular position are conducted right in front of the children, opposing coalitions are created in the family.

Consequences: the child may grow up to be a conformist, adapting to the opinions of others. It is also possible to show disrespect to the parent whose position the child perceives as disadvantageous for himself.

    3. Unfair attitude towards the child. It is more common in families consisting of a child and a single mother. The mother then kisses the child, playing with him, then closes in herself, not paying attention to her child, then screams and is angry with him.

Consequences: a hysterical person will grow up, unable to control her behavior. Often there is a detachment from the mother due to the fact that the child does not know what to expect from her.

    4. connivance. The child does what he sees fit, regardless of the opinions and desires of the people around him. For example, when he comes to visit, he begins to demand that he be given a thing he likes, although it is fragile, and the owners value it, or during a Sunday lunch in a cafe, he begins to run around the hall, pestering strangers who have come to rest. The parents of such a child are perplexed: “So what? He's a child!"

Consequences: you are guaranteed to grow a terry egoist and insolent.

    5. Spoiled. It manifests itself in the fact that parents constantly follow the lead of the child, fulfilling all his desires, often at the expense of infringing on their own interests or the interests of other people.

    Consequences: This miscalculation in education leads to the fact that the child grows up self-centered and callous.

    6. Excessive exactingness, excessive strictness. Exorbitant demands are made on the child, he is not forgiven for the most harmless pranks and mistakes.

    Consequences : self-doubt, , often perfectionism, which can become an unbearable burden for a growing person.

    7. Lack of affection. Physical contact is extremely important for a little man, however, as well as for an adult. Unfortunately, sometimes parents find it unnecessary to show tender feelings for a child.

    Consequences: the child grows up closed, distrustful.

    8. Unbridled ambitions of parents. Adults in the family are trying to realize through the child what they themselves could not achieve, regardless of his interests and desires. For example, they give him for swimming not so that he physically develops and improves his health, but solely out of a desire to make a champion out of his child.

    Consequences: if the child is not attracted to this activity, then, growing up, he will protest in any way. If the activity is to their liking, but it does not justify the aspirations of the parents, then low self-esteem, dissatisfaction with oneself is formed.

    9. Over control. A person should have a certain space so that he can independently make a choice. Sometimes parents completely ignore the wishes of the child, taking control of any life manifestations (choosing friends, monitoring phone calls, etc.)

    Consequences: as in the previous case, a protest against unnecessary guardianship in the form of departures

    10. Role imposition. It is more often observed in families where mothers are single or there is no emotional connection between parents. The mother begins to talk about her failures, discuss other people, imposing problems that the child is not ready to perceive.

    Consequences: unbearable mental stress for a child can cause pessimism and unwillingness to live, the proper distance between an adult and a child is erased.

Family drawing technique

gives an idea of ​​the child's subjective assessment of his family, his place in it, his relationship with other family members.
Based on the analysis of the drawings of the children of the class, several general trends in the development of intra-family relations can be distinguished:
if you want to know how your child feels in the family or how he treats relatives, offer him the task: “Draw your family”

    If the child draws himself in the center, don't worry - he draws from the position of his vision. This is his world, in which he is the main sorcerer.

    If he draws only himself, then he is lonely.

    Usually, after himself, the child draws the one whom he considers the main one in the family. If he painted the pet second, then the child is lonely.

    If someone did not draw, he may be offended by him.

    And if a child draws all relatives holding hands together, then in your family he is surrounded by love and attention of loved ones.

    If the family does not communicate much, then the child draws mom and dad far from each other, with a barrier.

    If someone is depicted without a mouth, without arms or with very long arms, then the baby is afraid of this person because they are shouting at him, they are severely punished.

    If someone draws with thumbs (like a "scarecrow") - the world seems uncomfortable to the child.

    The legs are disproportionately thick - there is a tense atmosphere in the family; very long legs - the desire for independence.

    For a loved one, the child will take the same colors with which he painted himself.

    A very contrasting image is a sign of an unresolved conflict for the child.

    If the child is assertive, active, the colors will choose warm.

    Cold colors - the nature of the child is characterized by daydreaming, thoughtfulness.

    Love for freedom, independence - if coloring, it jumps out with a pencil over the contour.

    Accurate shading, but in the presence of unpainted stripes says
    about insecurity, insecurity.

TESTING

(presentation)

REMEMBER! (presentation)

USEFUL LITERATURE

Attachment 1

Characteristics, manifestations:

parents impose their opinion on the child.

"suppression" of the child

Eternal instructions, reminders, sovers

The child does not satisfy his own needs, but the needs of his parents, providing them with a more comfortable life.

Possible consequences:

a decrease in interest in the outside world and the formation of lack of initiative;

can lead to the development of such personality traits as timidity and self-doubt, or, conversely, aggressiveness and negativism;

The child becomes "deaf to the parent", waiting for the usual threats or raising his voice to start doing what he is told.

when a child reaches adolescence, the child may want to quickly break out of a system that is too rigid, where his interests are ignored, and find freedom

growing up, a child can fall under the influence of any other authoritarian system: sects, political parties, criminal companies, in which he will be just as obedient to rule

as an adult, either he himself will acquire a very authoritarian character, or he will become the executor of someone else's will: passive, dependent and depressed.

Motives of parental behavior

Against the backdrop of protracted problems in a child, parents sometimes lose faith in his ability to bear responsibility or do at least something on his own and well.

If the child does not have chronic problems, the parent's motive may be to compensate for those inner feelings they experienced in childhood when they felt that they were not noticed and not taken seriously. Parents' search for the opportunity to assert themselves and feel their power sometimes ends with the use of children for these purposes.

hyper-cooking type

Characteristics, manifestations:

Parents are doing their best to protect the child from possible dangers ("Do not climb the stairs, you will fall").

The child is protected from any difficulties, worries, negative emotions and experiences.

There are no requirements or obligations for the child.

They are afraid that all sorts of misfortunes will happen to their child.

Possible consequences:

Contributes to the development of lack of independence, difficulty in making decisions, inability to find a way to resolve a previously unknown situation;

In critical cases - passivity and avoidance of solving a vital problem.

The child will be poorly adapted to adulthood.

Infantile-consumer attitude to the world, the child has a delay in the development of skills.

Painful reaction to any requirements and restrictions.

It will be difficult, and sometimes impossible, to cope with your feelings: grief, anger, resentment, which later will nevertheless come in real life.

Difficulties in communicating with peers when you have to independently defend your interests and solve emerging problems.

The child denies the justification of parental fears. He looks for opportunities to take risks and can act incredibly nonchalant.

Motives of parental behavior

This parenting style usually reflects the parents' emotional problems stemming from their childhood, when they may have felt unwanted. The motive in this case is obvious: to feel knowledgeable and competent, important and needed, caring for a chronically helpless child.

Hypoprotective (permissive) type

Characteristics, manifestations:

Parents have little interest in the child, he is left to himself.

The child lacks attention, care, warmth

It can be observed both in families with low incomes, where parents are forced to work hard, and in financially prosperous families, where parents are busy with their lives, dress and feed the baby beautifully, buy toys, but have practically no contact with him.

Possible consequences:

The absence of rules and requirements leads to the fact that the child does not have a solid support, a sense of security;

The child has a feeling of uselessness, that he is not loved

Motives of parental behavior

This is what parents can do:

Who, throughout their own childhood, felt ignored, rejected, unaccepted, and not sufficiently cared for;

Democratic type

Characteristics, manifestations:

Parents are considered the main they have the main share of power and responsibility, but when deciding important issues, the interests of the opinions of children are taken into account.

The child is well aware of his limitations, duties, area of ​​his responsibility

The parent is involved in the development of the child.

Possible consequences:

The child is aware of his own needs and understands the desires of others

The child acquires emotional stability, self-confidence

Independence, responsibility, ability to cope with many life difficulties corresponding to age.

Appendix 2 Sayings and aphorisms about raising children

The best school of discipline is the family (Smiles S.)

The main meaning and purpose of family life is the upbringing of children. The main school of raising children is the relationship of husband and wife, father and mother. (Sukhomlinsky V. A.)

Do you know what the surest way to make your child unhappy is to teach him not to meet with anything. (J.J. Rousseau)

Many troubles have their roots precisely in the fact that a person from childhood is not taught to control his desires, they are not taught to correctly relate to the concepts of can, must, cannot. (Sukhomlinsky V. A.)

Nothing acts in the young souls of children stronger than the universal power of an example, and meanwhile, all other examples of nothing else impress them deeper and more firmly than the example of parents. (Novikov N.I.)

The guilt and merit of children to a large extent falls on the heads and consciences of their parents. (Dzerzhinsky F.E.)

Our children are our old age. Proper upbringing is our happy old age, bad upbringing is our future grief, these are our tears, this is our guilt before other people, before the whole country. (Makarenko A.S.).

Parents often confuse the terms "upbringing" and "education" and think that they gave the child an upbringing when they forced him to study so many subjects. Hence the frequent disappointment of parents in their children in subsequent years. (Rubinstein A. G.)

Psychological climate in the family and styles of family education.

Goals: 1. Development in parents of the need to acquire psychological and pedagogical knowledge.

  1. Improving pedagogical culture.
  2. Information support for parents.

Equipment: report of the class teacher, presentation, tests for parents, questionnaire for students, memos to parents.

Meeting progress:

Good afternoon, dear parents and guests!

Our today's meeting is devoted to family relations, the agenda of the meeting is as follows:

  1. Class teacher lecture.
  1. Results of the 3rd quarter.
  2. Miscellaneous.
  1. As an epigraph to our today's conversation, I took the words of L. N. Tolstoy:

"Happy is he who is happy at home."

What is the reason for choosing this topic?

Someone might say that it is probably too late to talk about the psychological climate and styles of family education.in the 7th grade. First, it's never too late to educate! Secondly, it is in grades 7-8 that the progress of students decreases, and this largely depends on the psychological climate, both at school and at home. Thirdly, the children now have a rather difficult physiological period, and who, if not parents and, of course, teachers should be extremely attentive to children and show maximum efforts in the process of education. It is easy to offend and hurt a child at this age, and it will be very difficult to regain trust.

If you use the technique of psychologists, you can imagine that a child is a bowl. ANDThe task of the parents is to fill it.How do you want your child to be? What character traits should he have?

What qualities would you like to endow him with?

Probably, each of you dreams that his child grows up healthy, strong, smart, honest, fair, noble, caring, loving. And none of the parents will wish the child to become deceitful, hypocritical, vile. It is not enough to fill the cup, it is important that it does not spill, does not break, but becomes even richer. The family in which your child lives should be one of the few places where the child can feel like a person, get confirmation of his significance and uniqueness. The family gives the first and main lessons of love, understanding, trust, faith.

Yes, the topic of the family has worried people at all times. Each family decides how to raise their child. There is no consensus on this issue. Every adult can play a huge role in a child's life - creative or destructive. Most psychologists believe that the psychological health or ill health of a child is inextricably linked with the psychological atmosphere, or climate of the family, and depends on the nature of relationships in the family. In familywith a favorable psychological climateeach of its members treats the rest with love, respect and trust, to parents - also with reverence, to the weaker one - with readiness to help at any moment. Important indicators of a favorable psychological climate of the family are the desire of its members to spend their free time in the home circle, talk on topics of interest to everyone, do homework together, emphasize the merits and good deeds of everyone, and at the same time openness of the family, its wide contacts. Such a climate promotes harmony, reduces the severity of emerging conflicts, relieves stress, increases the assessment of one's own social significance and the realization of the personal potential of each family member.

When family members experience anxiety, emotional discomfort, tension, alienation, and even conflict in interpersonal relationships, they have an inherent sense of insecurity in this case, they talk aboutunfavorable psychological climatein family. All this prevents the family from fulfilling one of its main functions - psychotherapeutic, relieving stress and fatigue, and also leads to depression, quarrels, mental tension, and a deficit in positive emotions.This has a negative impact on children,on their behavior, attitude towards others, academic performance.

The nature of intra-family relations, the moral and psychological climate of the family have a great influence on the development of the child's personality. Learning the norms of behavior and relationships of parents, children begin to build their relationships with loved ones in accordance with them, and then transfer the skills of these relationships tosurrounding people, comrades, teachers.

Before the meeting, I anonymous questioning with the children of our class, to determine the psychological climate in families.You can see the results of the survey on the board(Attachment 1).

How to give what children expect from us? How to distinguish the wrong upbringing from the right? And can education be wrong at all?

What methods and styles of education do we follow? Which one is the best? Or maybe a little bit of everything?

In the classification of the parenting style, most often there are

yut three: democratic (authoritative), liberal (permissive) and authoritarian, and their corresponding (reciprocal) children's characteristics. In its most general form, it looks like this.

Now I will ask you to take a test to determine your parenting style. (The results will remain with you, and you do not need to voice them!)(Appendix 2.)

And now let's move on to characterizing the styles of family education, and you will be able to determine the advantages and disadvantages of your style.

Democratic parents- initiative, kind children. Parents love and understand children, they often praise them, and as a rule, they do not punish them for mistakes, they explain why this should not be done. They react calmly to whims, firmly refuse to obey them. As a result, children grow up to be inquisitive, self-confident, sociable and self-respecting.

Liberal parents -impulsive, aggressive children. Parents have almost no control over their children, allowing them to do whatever they want, including without paying attention to aggressive behavior. As a result, it becomes uncontrollable.

Parents establish tight control over the behavior of children, believing that they must obey their will in everything. Punishment, as well as intimidation, threats are most often used as methods of education. Children are gloomy, anxious, and therefore unhappy.

In addition to parenting styles, psychologists have identified a huge number of types of parenting, but I want to draw your attention to only those types that negatively affect the child's psyche:

"Family idol"

Probably, any of us is not averse to becoming an idol for at least someone, even for a moment ... and, speaking of this type of upbringing, it involuntarily seems that the child is lucky: he is adored, he is really loved, we love not just, but without limit. Any whim of a child is a law. In all his actions, his mom and dad find only originality, and even the pranks of the "idol" are unique. Such a child, firmly believing in his exclusivity, grows up as a capricious, self-willed egoist, only consuming and not wanting to give in return.

Ahead of their peers in requests, the "idol" of the family often lags behind them in elementary development skills: he is not able to wash and dress himself, parents relieve the child of all duties. And this will affect later, when the working life comes.

"Hypercare".

Such a child is deprived of independence and does not strive for it. The child is accustomed to obey and follow the advice of adults who have thought through his whole life to the smallest detail "developed" her route, involuntarily turning into dictators. They, not realizing it, out of the best of intentions, dictate every step to the child and control him in everything, probably even in his thoughts. Raising him to the skies, they not only admire the child, but also “prepare” the child prodigy. He wants to live up to expectations. And in order for him to justify them, he is protected not only from the vicissitudes of fate, but also from the breath of any breeze. And since they protect, it means that he is really of great value and, believing in this, the child elevates his person, day by day only plunging into the greenhouse climate of his family:

creative beginning.

Life on prompts - existence. Quite often, overprotection leads to a violent reaction of protest.

"Hypoprotection".

Another extreme of our educational influences. The child is left to himself. He feels unnecessary, superfluous, unloved. Parents only occasionally remember that he is, and pay him a minimum of attention. And he is capable of at least a drop of attention to everything. Nobody wants to meet his needs. Forced to think of himself, envious of all the children

All this is reflected in the psyche of the child, and over time he suddenly begins to feel inferior. And this complex, the complex of the child's own inferiority, haunts him then all his life.

"Education in the cult of disease".

This type of upbringing usually occurs when a child is ill with a rather serious chronic illness or when parents, fearing that the child will suddenly fall ill, tremble in horror over him, warning him of all his desires, and he, perceiving any illness as his privilege, giving

special rights to him, involuntarily speculates on the situation that has arisen and

abuses it.

He expects sympathy and compassion from everyone, And even "fights" for it. Such children, growing up, often find it difficult to adapt to reality.

They often choose the path of opportunists or sycophants. Their fate is the fate of weak-willed and pampered people.

How many of us parents have thought about which of these types we use? It is never too late to reflect and make adjustments to your communication style with your child. After all, if today he is only for everything sprout who craves moisture and warmth, then tomorrow he will already give you fruits in which worms may appear that destroy them and you.

But who among us is not without sin? Everyone has a negative character trait that prevents us from being better. The dignity of a person is that he recognizes his shortcomings and tries to correct them.

We should learn to control our actions and deeds. Weigh every word, learn to love and understand your children, and the results will not be long in coming.

“The main mistake of parents is that they try to raise children without raising themselves!” L.N. Tolstoy.

And now, I offer you several problematic situations, let's try to find a way out of them.

Problem situation 1.

The daughter skips school, explaining to the teacher that she is caring for her sick grandmother.(“Maria Ivanovna called today about your attendance. I was very ashamed during the conversation, and I would like to avoid these experiences.”

problem situation 2.

Your child did not clean up his room, and guests came to you. ("I feel embarrassed when guests see your room like this, it looks much better tidy.")

problem situation 3.

The son returned home later than usual.(Mom comes out to the meeting and says: “When someone in the family comes later than we agree, I get so worried that I can’t find a place for myself”)

2. Results of the 3rd quarter. The quarter ended well. Out of 17 students:

Excellent student -1

With one "4" - 1

Horoshistov -8

Dear parents, and now I will ask you to express your opinions about our meeting.

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask.

I want to end my speech with the words of the famous teacher V.A. Sukhomlinsky:

“Loving your children, teach them to love you, don’t teach them - you will cry in old age - this, in my opinion, is one of the wisest truths of motherhood and fatherhood.”

And I want to give you a reminder that may help you adjust your relationship with your children.(Appendix 3).

Thanks to all participants! And remember, please, always!

Family is what we all share

A little bit of everything: both tears and laughter

Rise and fall, joy, sadness

Friendship and quarrels, silence seal.

Family is what is always with you

Let the minutes, seconds, years rush by.

But the walls are dear, my father's house

The heart will forever remain in it.

Annex 1. Questionnaire for children.

Read the following statements. If you agree with the statement, put "yes", if you do not agree, put "no".

1. Our family is very friendly.

2. On Saturdays and Sundays, it is customary for us to have breakfast, lunch and dinner all together.

3. I feel very comfortable in my house.

4. Best of all, I relax at home.

5. If there are strife in the family, then everyone quickly forgets about them.

7. Visits by guests usually have a beneficial effect on family relationships.

8. In the family, at least someone will always console me, encourage, inspire me.

9. Everyone in our family understands each other well.

10. When I leave home for a long time, I really miss my "native walls".

11. Friends, having visited us, usually celebrate peace and tranquility in our family.

12. It is customary for us to relax in the summer with the whole family.

13. We usually perform labor-intensive tasks collectively - general cleaning, preparation for the holiday, work at the dacha, etc.

14. A joyful, cheerful atmosphere prevails in the family.

15. It is customary in the family to apologize to each other for mistakes made or inconvenience caused.

16. I am always pleased with the order in our apartment.

17. We often have guests.

eighteen . The presence of certain family members usually throws me off balance.

19. There are circumstances in the life of our family that are very destabilizing in relationships.

20. Some habits of a family member really annoy me.

21. There is a very unbalanced person in the family.

22. Noticed: visits of guests are usually accompanied by minor or significant conflicts in the family.

23. From time to time strong scandals arise in our house.

24. Home atmosphere often depresses me.

25. In the family, I feel lonely and useless.

26. The situation is rather painful, sad or tense.

27. In the family, I am annoyed by the fact that everyone or almost everyone speaks in a raised voice in the house.

28. The family is so uncomfortable that you often don't want to go home.

29. I am often offended at home.

30. When I come home, I often have such a state: I don’t want to see or hear anyone.

31. Relations in the family are very strained.

32. I know that someone in our family feels uncomfortable.

Data processing.

For each “yes” answer in 1-17, 1 point is awarded.

For each “no” answer at 18-32, 1 point is awarded.

Results:

The indicator "characteristics of the family biofield" can vary from 0 to 35 points.

0-8 points. Stable negative psychological climate. In these intervals there are families that recognize their life together as "difficult", "unbearable", "nightmare".

9-15 points. Unstable, variable psychological climate.

16-22 points. Uncertain psychological climate. It notes some "disturbing" factors, although in general a positive mood prevails.

23-35 points. Stable positive psychological climate of the family.

Annex 2. Test for parents.

  1. What do you think characterizes the most?

human - heredity or upbringing?

A. Mainly by education.

B. A combination of innate inclinations and environmental conditions.

B. Mainly innate inclinations.

2. How do you feel about the idea that children are raising their parents?

A. This statement has nothing to do with reality.

B. I agree with this, provided that the role of parents as educators of their children should not be forgotten.

V. Absolutely agree with this.

3. Do you think parents should educate their children about gender?

A. When the children are old enough, it will be necessary to start talking about it, and at school age, the main thing is to take care of protecting them from immorality.

B. Of course, parents should do this first.

V. No one taught me this, life itself will teach.

4. Should parents give their child pocket money?

A. It is better to regularly give out a certain amount and control expenses.

B. It is advisable to give out a certain amount for a certain period of time so that the child learns to plan expenses on his own.

B. If he asks, you can give.

5. What would you do if you found out that your child was bullied by a classmate?

A. I will go to sort things out with the offender and his parents.

B. Advise the child on how best to behave in such situations.

B. Let him understand his relationship.

6. How do you deal with your child's bad language?

A. I will punish and try to protect from communication with ill-mannered peers.

B. I will try to explain that in our family, and in general, among decent people, this is not accepted.

B. A child has the right to express his feelings. Just think, we all know such words.

7. How will you react if you find out that the child lied to you?

A. I will try to bring him to clean water and shame him.

B. I'll try to figure out what prompted him to lie.

B. If the occasion is not too serious, I will not be upset.

8. Do you feel like you are setting a good example for your child?

A. Absolutely.

B. I try.

B. I hope.

Processing of results.

Count the number of answers corresponding to each letter.

Answers prevail BUT - authoritarian parenting style.

Most Answers B - authoritative (democratic) parenting style.

Most responses IN - permissive parenting style.

Application3.

Reminder to parents.

If the child is constantly criticize, he learns .... (hate)

If a child lives in enmity, he learns ... ( be aggressive)

If a child grows in reproach, he is studying… ( live with guilt)

If a child growing in tolerance, he is learning ... ( understand others)

If a child is praised, he learns ... ( be noble)

If a child grows up in honesty, he is learning ... ( to be fair)

If a child growing in safety, he is learning ... (trust people)

If a child is supported, he learns ... ( value yourself)

If a child is ridiculed, he learns ... ( be closed)

If a child lives in understanding and friendliness, he is studying… ( be responsive, find love in this world.)

« Loving your children, teach them to love you, don’t teach them - you will cry in old age - this, in my opinion, is one of the wisest truths of motherhood and fatherhood. V.A. Sukhomlinsky



The psychological microclimate of the family is an important component, since a person spends more than half of his life in the family. First, this is a relationship with parents, then with spouses, their own children. Home atmosphere affects all family members.

Types of family psychological climate

The main functions of the family are support, elimination of stress, love for others, and a desire to help. Emotions are transmitted verbally, non-verbally. Through the emotional state of family members, the world is perceived as a hostile or benevolent entity.

The nervous system is the regulator of body functions. If it is constantly tense, it causes a malfunction in the functionality of the internal organs. It is known that ARVI, tonsillitis, thyroid problems are the consequences of an unfavorable family climate. In other words - a person does not pronounce problems, silently suffers, gets angry, hates. Negative energy is a real concept, though not visible to the naked eye. It is felt by people who have been subjected to criticism, infringement of freedom, violence in childhood. Such problems are difficult to eliminate in adults, as they become the norm to which the body gets used.

There are 2 types of psychological climate - favorable, unfavorable. To determine the type of family by this factor, you need to honestly answer a few questions:

  • how often family members spend time together;
  • Do they enjoy being at home?
  • whether the opinion of children is taken into account when solving current issues;
  • how parents and other relatives - grandparents - interact with everyone else.

If the answers are positive, the atmosphere within the family is favorable. If people do not know the answer to the question or answer negatively, then the relationship, their own behavior should be given attention. Unfortunately, such articles are read by people who are interested in the psychological climate, trying to keep it in a positive trend.

The negative experience of family relations is especially dangerous for the growing generation. Children who grew up in a dysfunctional environment have mental disabilities, are prone to violence, or vice versa - they take the position of the victim. Babies are more likely to get sick, experience a state of anxiety. These are potential clients of psychologists, psychotherapists. They build relationships reminiscent of their own in childhood.

The main responsibility for creating and maintaining the psychological climate lies with the spouses. Parents should provide children with positive emotions, because emotional events form the basis of the future life: memorable moments will attract similar events. Components of the human brain:

  • neocortex;
  • the limbic system is the emotional brain;
  • the ancient brain is the cerebellum.

Life events are programmed from childhood - there is an enhanced training of the brain to respond to events. The process of returning to normal life is long, requires constant attention to thoughts, emotional response. If you devote enough time to yourself, you can get rid of unnecessary fettering fear that negatively affects the person, overwhelming the will.

Psychological climate as a growth factor

The child feels the need for personal growth, especially at 5-12 years old. It is important that relationships based on trust, friendship, love serve as an example. Comprehensive personal development is not empty talk. Often parents, not noticing the needs of the child, contribute to his degradation.

Serious outside help is needed here, since alienation between parents and children arises in the family. Since the younger members are financially dependent, they vent their dissatisfaction through aggression towards adults, for which they receive punishment. It turns out that the family does not perform the main function - stress relief, fatigue. Some family members try to be at home less often, avoid joint activities.

Personal growth is also important for adults. Many noticed that the patience shown, sympathy have a positive impact on the personality of the person who was able to show it.

The psychological climate in a family with children with developmental disabilities is especially important. These kids are especially responsive to problematic relationships. They are an indicator of the true feelings of parents. If the relationship before marriage was unconscious and frivolous, at the birth of a baby they become aggravated, often break up.

Children with Down syndrome, autism develop better when the atmosphere in the family is favorable. The mother receives enough attention from her husband, feels confident with the child, who needs more attention and love.

It is important that in the process of development the child realizes his place in life, opportunities, prospects. Some children need to create special artificial conditions, because they are spiritually weaker and require a gentle approach. Parents cannot provide such education if they are constantly at war.

Conclusion: excessive demands must be made to yourself. Don't be afraid to admit you're wrong. Children appreciate an open democratic policy, take an example, try to imitate. The parent becomes the authority.

Socio-psychological family climate

Socio-psychological climate - the quality of relationships in a group of people. It can refer to work or family relationships, since the family is a small group. The intra-family atmosphere affects the further ability of a person to behave non-conflict at work, among friends. By the behavior of individuals, one can tell about their relationship with their parents.

Factors influencing the formation of the socio-psychological climate:

  • macro environment;
  • microenvironment.

Macroenvironment - global factors including:

  • economies, the degree of development of the state;
  • general level of culture in society;
  • relationships with people who do not belong to this group;
  • level of public consciousness.

Microfactors include:

  • financial, social level of the family, group;
  • the nature of the activity - personal, work;
  • distribution of roles in a hierarchy;
  • the quality of the physical relationships in the group.

The psychological climate directly affects the social behavior of people.

The influence of the psychological climate on relationships

Relationships are influenced by several factors. Scientists have identified 5 main personality characteristics that affect relationships:

  1. Goodwill. If the spouse possesses this quality, he thinks similarly of the spouse.
  2. Obligation, especially in relation to a woman. In family relationships, a woman's satisfaction is more important than a man's satisfaction. Obligation speaks of the reliability of a partner.
  3. Openness to new sensations. If people are ready to change, it makes a marriage stronger, more resilient.
  4. Openness to communication. Extroverts are open-minded and can solve problems with enthusiasm.
  5. Neuroticism. This is a negative, but powerful factor that can influence intra-family relationships. A person at the slightest imbalance experiences anxiety, fear.

A lot of controversy arises from emotional stability or instability. Many couples have been studied where the partners were emotionally unstable, but the marriages did not break up. Another situation - one partner is stable, the other is not. There are nuances here: one provides emotional support to the other, which makes both partners happy. Women's stability is more important than men's. It is noticed that women's disappointment in relationships often leads to breaks than men's.

Environment improvement

The psychological climate in the family is a process that can be changed, corrected, but this requires the desire of family members. It is necessary for both partners to seek help from a psychologist, a psychotherapist.

Conditions to be met:

  • Awareness of goals, for example - maintaining mutual love, raising children, working for the financial benefit of the family.
  • Understanding one's own place in the group. For a man, this is financial security; for a woman, it is taking care of children. It must be taken into account that creation for the benefit of the group should begin with the creation of personal space - one's own unrealized plans negatively affect the situation, the psychological climate of the group. This moment is non-verbally transmitted to the team members, they begin to experience negative emotions, not understanding their meaning.
  • Adoption of general norms and laws. If personal norms correspond to group norms, it is easy to undergo correction. If a person admits that his norms do not find satisfaction in this group, it must be recognized: the group is doomed to parting.
  • Communication between family members.

The most democratic, useful form of communication is cooperation. Competition is not the best way to build relationships within a team. Sometimes the process of "treatment" of the family takes a long time. This is due to a lack of awareness of its meaning.

Useful video

From the video you will learn about some ways that will help you quickly improve the psychological climate in your family: