Who is a real man. Seven steps to this ideal. A clear awareness of their desires. Who are "real men" and "real women"

The real men are gone. Men have shrunk, become infantile ... How often these phrases are heard lately! What really happens to men? Or maybe they are all right? Maybe something is wrong with us, with those who constantly express their dissatisfaction with men? To answer these questions, let's try to understand - what does it mean to be a man?

The friend I came to visit was pumped up to the limit:

- No, tell me, guys, are they completely extinct ?! After all, a man - he must be the head of the family, be responsible for everything! And mine! After all, he doesn't need anything, he doesn't care about anything, everything is on me! They feed him, take care of him, and he will sit down to the TV - to comprehend world problems!

At that moment, the husband of a friend, a pleasant, intelligent person, looked into the room. After greeting him, he walked over to the table and took a pack of cigarettes.

- You must have your own! - said the friend menacingly. - It's a shame to be a man and take cigarettes from your wife!

The husband silently left the room.

- No, you tell me, where are the real men?

Men are not born - they become men.

What does it mean to be a boy? It means not crying, not whining, not complaining when it hurts. It means to be strong, to be responsible for your actions, to be able to stand up for yourself. What does a boy hear most often in a family?

"Be patient, Cossack, you will be ataman!"

"What are you whining like a girl!"

"Does it hurt? It's okay, it will heal before the wedding!"

"Why didn't you give back?"

From early childhood, the boy understands that it is impossible to feel, to show feelings is ashamed. You can't be weak, it's a shame to show weakness. To be a man means to be "insensitive", to be cruel, not to show emotions. The whole boy's upbringing system is aimed at this. The results of such upbringing are known - cold, unemotional men enter life, with whom it is very difficult for women later. It is easier for a man to show indifference than feelings, it is easier to pretend that nothing touches him than to discover his real feelings. And indifferent men appear. What do they have left? Logic, rationalism, business approach. Is this why men are so successful in science, politics, business.

The next stage in the development of men is school.

To be a boy means to fight, to disobey, to pull the girls by the pigtails, to despise them, to be rude to them. To be insolent to the teacher, who gave a two, to pretend that you are not concerned with the teacher's notations, so as not to admit his correctness, and in fact, so as not to show your weakness.

The next stage is communication with peers, in which the boy acquires new "masculine qualities" - smoking, drinking, swearing (unfortunately, many men have such ideas about a real man for the rest of their lives).

Then "study" in teenage gangs, where you have to be like everyone else, dress like everyone else, listen to appropriate music, have appropriate views in order to be accepted by the group. You have to boast about your sexual success (often non-existent, but you have to match the image of a "tough" man!). One must be able to stand up for oneself so as not to pass for a weakling.

Then "study" in the army - here you need to be strong in order to meet the standards and requirements of the brutal army service, to withstand hazing.

The result of this study: a sketch from real life.

A twenty-year-old boy, who returned from Chechnya as an invalid, cheerfully tells how he was wounded by mine shrapnel, how he looked at the shrapnel sticking out of his body, and his leg, which was lying at an unnatural angle, because the bone was broken. He described it as a merry adventure, and his eyes were merry, but there were nodules on his cheeks.

Because you can't admit that it was scary - it's not like a man.

Because to be a man means to hide your feelings and correspond to the image that has developed in society: a man must be stronger!

A man starts a family, takes on new obligations: he must be responsible for the family, earn money in order to support the family (and how can a normal person, an average inhabitant, in our difficult times support it?). If he does not cope with the responsibility assigned to him, then a contemptuous one is heard from his wife: "Rag!"

Having plunged headlong into work, he is rarely at home, does not see children, gets tired and is not capable of sexual relations (a new phenomenon in the life of "new Russians" is a decline in sexual activity, when there is simply no strength and energy left for this - everything is eaten up by work), bad again.

Sexologists more often write about a subtle female nature that reacts to misunderstanding, conflicts, responsibilities, which prevents her from being a full-fledged woman, forgetting that a man is also a person, that he is also capable of experiencing and transferring the consequences of relationships in sexual life!). Who will make sure that the man is also satisfied, why the man is treated as a primitive creature, implying that he is always good.

Men are confined to a rigid framework of conformity. Increased demands are constantly made on them. They don't allow themselves to just be themselves.

Such loads lead men to constant stress, chronic stress conditions, nervous breakdowns, heart attacks at the age of 40. Unfortunately, men cannot relieve stress as naturally as women do: complain to their mother, relieve their souls with a friend.

The main way of psychological protection for them is to pretend that there are no problems, that everything is normal, nothing is happening (a completely childish reaction - like a child who hides under a blanket, thinking that if he hides, everything will be solved by itself).

And in a conflict situation, in order not to show weakness, not to admit that they are wrong, which will hurt men's pride, it is better to avoid discussion, to withdraw into themselves - women know how difficult it is sometimes to find a common language with men.

When the life situation becomes unbearable, then alcohol comes to the rescue - the only way to relax, relieve stress.

Is it easy to be a man? There is nothing to envy. You have to be really very strong to be a man!

Every woman needs a man. Every child needs a father.

The broadcast was called "Single Family". It went live and was conceived as a conversation about the problems of a family in which there is no father. The very first call changed the direction of the conversation:

I am raising my daughter alone. So what? That I won't raise her? We live normally. We do without a man. And why is it needed? I myself was brought up without a father, thank God, I grew up, and I am raising my daughter no worse than others! A man in a family is a burden! There is no sense in him, only chores: feed him, clean up after him! ..

The family does not need a man? Doesn't the child need a father? Can you do without a man?

Little information about the need for men.

Father and mother play different roles in the family. The role of the mother involves gentleness, tolerance, understanding, compassion. The role of the father is control, restrictions, setting norms and frameworks of behavior. Both of these roles, intertwining, provide an opportunity for the full, harmonious development of the child, where everything is proportional - warmth and exactingness, understanding and criticism. The role of the father falls out - a niche is formed in the upbringing of the child. At best, a woman tries to play these two roles: to be both mom and dad, soft and demanding, understanding and criticizing! And most often it is ineffective, with bias in one direction or the other. And neurotic children appear, children with a loss of trust and alienation from their mother, because they do not feel stability in relationships, do not know what to expect from her.

The normal development of a boy presupposes identification with his father, with the role of a man. To become a man, you need to have a role model. Whom to imitate, from whom to learn to be a man in a family where there is no father? And there are infantile, soft, effeminate boys - mama's sons.

The normal development of a girl involves playing a female role on her father. The father is the first man who evaluates the girl and corrects her behavior. Father's love, father's praise, father's acceptance are the basis of a girl's normal self-esteem, recognition of herself as attractive, necessary, valuable. Without this, there are non-self-worth, insecure, notorious girls, with an unfulfilled need for love and acceptance, which then turns into thoughtless marriages in life, a search for "paternal" love in other men.

A normal woman, in order to feel like a woman, must have support by her side. No matter how many women say: "And we can do without a man!", They lie to themselves. They cost, but at what cost! Like draft horses, they trudge through life, tired and driven, with a cartload of problems, lack of strength. But with a defensive ambition: "He's not really needed, man!"

Needed. Every woman needs a man, every child needs a father. Therefore, a family without a man is called incomplete.

Men's logic

A tear-stained employee, nervously squeezing her hands, groaning, ahaing, wailing, violently expressing emotions, spoke in detail about her misfortune: her beloved dog was hit by a car. She talked about how a poor dog is suffering, what operations need to be done, how much money is needed for it, she talked about how difficult it is to find a good veterinarian and a car that will take them to the veterinary clinic and back ... She told how she can only tell excited woman: little meaning, but a lot of emotions, words, gestures ...

Her colleague, a man listening to her story with a focused face, trying to make sense of this stream of words, suddenly said:

May I give you some advice? Put your dog to sleep!

His words sounded like a bolt from the blue. The employee had to be revived. The poor man did not understand, what did he say wrong? In fact, he said what he should have said. This, in fact, was the only correct advice in this situation. But how insensible he seemed!

Men's logic. Male vision.

The masculine way to solve problems.

Male character.

A man is a mystery to a woman.

He is used to making decisions if he is not prevented from doing so.

Focus on action, not reasoning about action.

It relies on logic, facts, not emotions.

This is its peculiarity. This is what makes it different. This is his strength.

A man lives in every man, you just need to see him. But we look at him as a long-familiar, familiar creature, studied, uninteresting.

And only in extreme situations, when a woman becomes weak and loses the ability to control and rule, a man gets the opportunity to prove himself a man.

Two real situations told by women:

"My six-year-old daughter was put in for an operation. I cried all day, and I was worried, I couldn't find a place for myself. My husband came home from work, and how he struck me! He saw what state I was in, took me by the shoulders, shook me and he told me so strictly:

Look in my eyes! Listen carefully! Everything will be fine! You hear, everything will be fine!

Believe it or not, it was so convincing that I immediately calmed down. The most striking thing for me in this situation was the strength and confidence that came from my husband. I didn't even know he could be like that! Never v I never felt so protected with him in my life! "

"I was robbed. In the evening, when I was walking home, a man attacked me, tore out my bag, frightened me to death ... I flew home and confusedly told my husband about what had happened. And suddenly he, my modest, indecisive intelligent husband, takes my hand and says:

Where are we going? - I am perplexed.

Let's go look for him.

I just sat down! That’s what I didn’t expect from him!

And what are we going to do if we find him? I stammered.

This is my concern! he replied.

At that moment I realized that I did not know my husband at all!

There are no men? They are. They become strong and responsible when they are not interfered with. They become men when women want to see them as men.

They are where they are given the opportunity to be men.

They are where it is difficult, where it is dangerous.

Are there no real men? Not true. They were, are and will be.

The real men are gone. No. They are nearby.

What does a man need to be a man?

To be a man, a man must want to be a man. To want to be a man, he must be proud of the right to be called a man. And what is there to be proud of when social and family attitudes towards a man are in the common expression: "Well, this is a man, what can you take from him? Well, what do you want from men!"

So what does a man need to be a man?

A man must be respected, because male pride is formed only in respect for him. A man should be appreciated, because manhood grows only from a sense of self-worth.

You have to believe in a man, because a man's self-confidence must be fueled from the outside.

With a man, one should not be afraid to be weak, because masculine strength and a sense of responsibility are formed only in relation to the weaker one.

A man must be loved, because all good things are born only in love!

If only women could learn to accept them as they are, without setting high standards for them to achieve! If they were not put in a constant state of conformity, if they were freed from constant criticism!

Every man is potentially disliked in childhood, everyone needs affection, warmth and understanding. If they were simply loved the way they are, if they were helped to become open, warm - how easy it would be to be with them! And how easy it would be for them to be themselves - to be men.

Let's take them as they are.

Let's love and respect our men. And then real men will never run out!

Yes, she loved, respected, supported. Came to me to live at 41 New Year ... He was married for 9 years, had no children, got a mistress and forced her to leave. After 5 years, he married a young man, when the two of them were left without work - in 2015 she left him. He told me that all the time he lived for the sake of his nephews, now he wants a family. The brother of the type will not be able to support the families and he helped them in the common house. He said, don’t drive me to work, I am what I am, I don’t earn much, but he has enough. Well, I loved him, I took into account his every opinion. My child is sick. His relatives warned him, like his character is difficult, can you. He left for his place a month later - he thought, he came back and moved in with me. His eyes were burning, he had Napoleonic plans for life, he wanted everything, a private house, a small business, etc. We lived well for 4 months, I adored him. In terms of sex, everything was perfect in my opinion. I went to work in my city, there was work on call - I installed water ionizers, at the same time I taxied along the way. I must say right away that I worked, where he spent his money did not even think to ask. Food, utilities norms - I earned enough. I did not hesitate to ask for money for drinks for gifts to my relatives, I asked to give some things to his relatives - I didn’t even bother about that - it had to be that way, there were little things. I will not hide, I helped to pick up my son from the garden, screw the tap on and around the house - then golden hands. I called him my beloved, I greatly appreciated and adored him, he treated me well, but without much emotion. He asked for a baby, for 3 months there was a false alarm, he was very worried, he says it was painful to be disappointed that she was not pregnant. The apartment was small but its own, so as not to disturb him, she started to take another apartment on the mortgage. I collected it for the first place, took a large apartment in a new house. We agreed on my salary for furniture and a large man, his taxis around the city in my car, lived-were. Everything was amazing. The son fell in love with him, and he is his, an ideal relationship. We moved to a new apartment. There was little money, credit, small debts and everything had to be bought for a new house. But the table was set, they did not know the need. Truth in a cafe, etc. stopped walking. The old apartment was rented out. She began to refuse him to buy a drink, he did not want to taxi around the city. He could not drive to his city in a car for 2-3 days, I needed to take the car to my son's garden, the new house was not in the center like the old one. He began to travel to his city on his "hard-earned" money. Then I began to notice in the fourth month that he was constantly in his thoughts, asking, shouting why I should make excuses to you. He said - if he didn’t love, he wouldn’t come and sleep with you. We lived in a new apartment for half a month. His cold attitude towards me began to strain me, I stopped "looking into his mouth" and pretending that I was crazy about him and began to just work and live, but I also showed respect. He did not want to tax, lay at home, went once a week to his city. At the same time, I started having difficulties at work, as I told him that I might quit and that I don't worry because I have you. Housework was a lot, for some reason he did not take up work. Well, I said not where it will not run away, I didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable. And that's when I got pregnant, I was happy, I wanted to give my beloved man at 41 my own child !!! But something unpredictable happened - she told him in the evening. He made a displeased face and drank all night, the next morning he said that we are adults, let's talk. I honestly wanted to build a family, but my heart doesn’t lie. So it will only get worse and gone. I was afraid to leave the child, he drank almost every day, forgive me, but I could not stand another sick child. I had an abortion. I called him, he blocked me. He said I'm sorry you are so good, the problem is in me, I got confused, you won’t be cute and disappeared. I've been living like hell for a month now. Every day I ask myself what did I do wrong? What do you think, tell me? I love him and I look forward to his return ... Maybe he's right?

May, age: 40 / 05/29/2018

Most of the comments are left by women. and you can see the whole essence of this so-called. "real women" who are looking for a "real man" - to pour out bile in the form of the author of the rights, and I am more to the right! I would especially like to answer the first comment that she LIKE "how difficult it is to be the woman who helps a man to be a man" - How difficult it is to find at least one female. which at least with a stretch can be called a woman! So it is not clear who is now busy with education and who

Alec, age: 40 / 01/15/2018

Yeah, but half the rent and food? If I get sick and lose my job, what should I do? No one likes change, and therefore through your teeth you, weak, do what you need to do while he sways and loses precious time. As a result, he, being strong, does what he can (save money on his wife, for example, in order to pay a few hundred more for a mortgage. Get a better-paid job, or save money on himself, will never occur to him) ...

Olesya, age: 36 / 09/08/2017

With regard to men being driven into the framework of "hard upbringing", women are also brought up from childhood in some kind of stereotypes and within the framework of "girls' upbringing." For this, in fact, there is the role of a man and a woman as a model of gender behavior in complete families, as described below. The upbringing of a person has been going on since ancient times, and then a warrior was brought up from a man who would fight for his homeland, family, etc. And this is not bad. And the tightness of feelings, an open or closed person is already a psychotype, this is determined not by upbringing alone, but by the peculiarity of a particular person, inherent in him by nature (introverts, etc.) And they die at 40 from a heart attack, not because to keep everything inside , but because there is a feature of the male body at the hormonal level, in women up to 50-60 years of age, mortality from cardiovascular diseases is lower due to the presence of estrogens in the body, they help to strengthen the permeability of the walls of blood vessels, but after menopause in women mortality from heart disease increases! The problem of male crushing is, and of course it is not connected with men alone, women have also changed, freedom, independence, gender equality, the growth of "ego", "human personality", etc., everything left its mark on both sexes. And families in our time are formed. Not without flaws, of course. It's just that everyone began to love themselves a little more than in the days of our parents.

Alesya, age: 35/01/2017

I can say one thing: girls, be yourself !!! If your man is a man, he will remain with him, and he will put you in your place, and he does not need to say and say constantly something, cheat and prove !!! And if he is an empty place, then he should not be with a woman! Let them love and satisfy themselves !!! You don't have to endure them - it's still a utopia, and it won't bring you happiness, but it will relax them even more! In everything, work is needed, in family relations it should be joint, otherwise you will not see happiness anyway, but also drag this burden !!!

Evgeniya, age: 09/05/2016

A real man is my father. He never ran away from problems and is very courageous. And he was always against the fact that a woman would work. He was much more pleased when she was engaged in women's affairs. It was more pleasant for him. He did not particularly like equality. Finding the same man is almost impossible. It is very sad to realize this. What was your upbringing before? And what is the institution of the family? People were brought up to be useful primarily for society. What about today? Freedom of choice to be a man or not? And plus yes women today tried and reduced all education to pity and self-indulgence.

Tatyana, age: 08/11/2016

Well yes ... and how easy it is to think like this when creating this article. “They didn’t love”, “didn’t respect”, “didn’t appreciate it” .. She was familiar with her man for two years, on the third he moved to me, we live together for a year. She loved him immensely, protected him from everyone - from his mother, who from the very first week began to tell me that this was not a man, but a snot, from a friend who, upon learning that he was late for the plane, called him dumb * bom, from friends who will not like him right away .. from everyone. She loved, protected, protected, supported .. A year has passed - why should he change and from "snot" to become "mature"? Not for anything. They love him like that, they respect him like that, they don't demand anything from him, he has been living in my house for a year and still cannot find a job normally, then he is fired, then he himself does not like it and he sends his resume to all four sides. A few days ago there was a situation in which - here's your chance, dude! - he could prove himself as a man, but no. We were with friends on vacation, and a drunken man in his underpants came up to me (we went to the sea). He started yelling to me "Come here" in Russian and Tatar, waving his arms and did not stop. I got crazy, shortly answered "No" and turned away, and he continued. In the end, everyone stood up for me! One friend, second friend, wife of a second friend even! They ran into him "What do you want from a girl? And you ask us. Maybe we should call the security?", He mumbled that he took us for foreigners and left. All stood up for me. Except for my man, who just stood there and watched the others figure it out, and then turned away indifferently. A real man, you will not say anything. Adored, supported, reliable and not even able to ask some left type to leave, yeah .. In short, girls .. I don't know. If you want a girl with a dick, get these guys. And if you don’t want to babysit this "girl" all your life - think.

Nask. , age: 26/06/2016

Thank you for the article. To be honest, as our emotions begin, the husband switches to the style of communication of a woman in the bazaar. Looks terribly disgusting. And then, when he calms down, he normally reasonably sanely. Generally a different person. But to get to this, how much you have to suffer. He will be silent and sulk and then on some trifle, which has nothing to do with the reason for his insult, will arrange a hysteria. And I go and try to figure out what it was, what it refers to, I try to speak, I get nagging. And I can hardly pull it out of him. Then we talk normally. I do not give up.

Elena, age: 32 / 05.24.2016

God, how difficult it is to achieve all this - to force-help a man to become a man!

Elena, age: 55 / 04/29/2016

It is difficult to be a real man, but worthy. the men were extinct. Roles change. And they more than agree on this. And the women are to blame for this - we educate them, give them instructions. The modern man is afraid of responsibility, therefore he is half man. And in general, apart from sex, they no longer have any interests. The problem is escape., The problem is escape, and so it is endless. And if he got married - whining at his half mistress or the first one who comes across, who will unfold her soul and not only. Convenient, and there is no room for reproach. Not caught, not a thief. Girls take care of their real men, if they are, and do not torment your soul if there is a runner. You can't see everything at once, in order to learn more than one pood of salt you need to eat together. It's a pity, but mostly weak and preoccupied, it's a pity ...

ira, age: 39/04/2016

My husband is lying on the couch, I support myself, he is a tyrant, when I ask for help, he says chtoli itself is difficult, neither the closet nor the door, everything falls apart, I already have a steel character, work, dinner, sleep and so on in a circle, not life , but for him nothing happens, he smiles, is angry that I have become like a robot, there is no intimacy, he does not want to, he feeds me breakfast, doing important things in life, his words mean nothing, only a computer and a TV set, such . subhumans have no right to enjoy the warmth and caress!

Valerie, age: 03/28/2016

It’s immediately obvious that the man was writing. And what to do with those who are always complaining about health, failures and the rest? What to do when the husband cannot force his relatives to return what belongs to him on legal and peaceful grounds? He is fed "breakfast", he swallows - and we - his family on the edge. We need it. Does not understand. Why is it easier for me to borrow money from mine than to demand from him and his relatives what is ours. What to do with it?

Lukerya, age: 03/18/2016

Like many readers, I am amazed at the WISDOM of the author of the article. I don’t know how many marriages it took to achieve such perfection in understanding what a man needs from his own wife in the social sense of the word. I really want to hope that she was able to pass everything on the first try. 1. A man can NEVER come to terms with the fact that he is not the FIRST and ONLY in the eyes of his wife. 2. He should never be the object of criticism of his wife in the presence of ANY third parties. She may criticize him "to smithereens", but in the SILENCE of their bedroom, not in a public gathering. 3. None of the instructions of the wife should sound like a reprimand from a mentor to a disciple - this is a road to the abyss. 4. It would hurt me wives to compliment their husbands - in public and in private - at least occasionally. 5. In no case should women use male "weaknesses" in order to achieve concessions. These five points are just examples of the GREAT mistakes made by the MASS of wives. The article, I repeat, is astounding. I haven’t met SUCH one yet. Maybe some part of the female complaints will listen to you. Your advice has no value. Bravo and thank you.

Shashel, age: 77 (married to one and / 25.07.2015

I shouldn't be weak with my husband, I shouldn't cry, because it makes him feel guilty, I can't ask for money because I have to find another job and earn a little more, I can't ask for help with the child, because he is tired and needs to rest .. But I give the opportunity to be a man, to try for me, to help ... But for me he doesn't want to be a knight at all, because I love him anyway ...

L, age: 33 / 04/14/2015

V., age: 27 / 18.03.2015

I believe that you need to come to any relationship consciously and accept the fact that there are no ideal ones. And both should do this. I always blamed only myself for my problems. I always analyzed situations and made efforts to change myself, but, unfortunately, there was just ballast nearby.

Olga, age: 28/05/2014

Hmm .. Of course, it is wrong to think that all men are not men, but to be honest, these articles are boring. Why no one writes that in fact there are really few men now, unfortunately. By this I mean that men are not able to pay for going to the cinema, in a cafe, they are not able to give flowers, they are not able to help you, they are not able to be confident, courageous, demand attention even at the first steps of acquaintance from a woman. That is, there is no concept - to conquer a woman - in the understanding of the men who surround me, to conquer is just to give a compliment, and then they fall into doubts ... Men do not want to take responsibility, unfortunately. And it is very difficult to remain a woman in such a situation. She just has no one to be for.

sova, age: 03/07/2014

I will describe such a case, engraved in my memory. The action took place in a cafe. Two fat women were sitting at the next table. Even not so much plump as shapeless - after all, there is a very nice plumpness, and these obviously have not looked after themselves since leaving school. Hair dyed in the color of boiled beetroot. For some reason, women after forty begin to piously believe that the dark purple color will return them to their former attractiveness. Standard hairstyles in the "Hello times of stagnation" style. On the table is an open bottle of vodka, something in plates for snacks, and an ashtray smoking a mountain of cigarette butts. They spoke loudly, swearing like miners. The conversation, as you understand, was on a hackneyed topic: Real men are extinct! And in this I completely agreed with them. Everything in the world is interconnected - if deer disappear in the forest, then wolves will also leave. They simply will have nothing to eat. Looking at the two drunken representatives of the "fair sex", I no longer doubted that we would soon have to die out like dinosaurs.

Gingitsune, age: 46/10/2014

And if this is the type of a real man who constantly whines. Constantly runs for any reason and complains to his mother, and the habit of complaining about this is apparently from his childhood and yelling))) - his mother will praise and give candy. Yes, he was brought up like a real heifer-snot , clarification of any relationship is not life, but a continuous House-2. Everyone loves him too much, including me, and as a result, this is a completely selfish, capricious chick. A man needs to be brought up like a man, and not like a woman, it's disgusting to look at these creatures already who only demand, but do not know how to give.

Veta, age: 38 / 11/06/2013

I agree that real men went to real women. How to become a real woman? What is a real woman? Obviously, not only the one who knows how to wash, cook and mop the floor, babysit the children!

Marina, age: 05/23/2013

Yes, one should accept each other as they are! And people have one drawback in my opinion - to change everything and everyone around in their own way. This is just a problem.

Mike Kay, age: 05/26/2013

Guys. Let's be men regardless of who the women pose. The point is that sooner or later the femininity of women will finally break through - simply because there is a courageous man nearby. It is possible for a woman to start behaving like a woman, and the result will be the same. But the leader is a man, so he must start.

Pavel, age: 28 / 13.05.2013

Men, in their strength, do not want to fight with women, and are inferior to them as stronger than weaker ones. But women begin to simply simply use this, and they no longer accept it as concessions, but as their due and only acceptable attitude towards them, and any attempts by a man to change this are subsequently perceived with hostility, and are interpreted as encroachments, as misunderstanding, greed, greed , stubbornness and all sorts of other different byaki (you can endlessly enumerate), and when trying to change this, when a man reminds him of his masculine position, and a reminder that they say "dear, of course you do as you see fit, but do not forget, that I am a man, and I just allow it to you, since you are a weak woman, and I am a strong man, so I give in to you and only "- and here scandals come out of this, and swearing that they say, here, my the husband is such a goat (reptile, insensitive, does not understand anything, biscuit, TIRAN, etc., etc., underline the necessary). And as a result, usually 2 options are obtained from this: 1). that if a man resigns himself to this state of affairs, spits and waves his hand at this, says, and, they say, well, her (wife) will still get in touch with her, again there will be a scandal and whims, I’d better say nothing and agree - but everything will be calm - from him henpecked comes out. And women will still live with such people, though not forgetting sometimes to call them a rag, a mama's boy, a lack of initiative vegetable (when they themselves took this initiative away by the method of whims and conflicts). Option 2 is when a man still has character, and does not want to put up with this state of affairs, and defends his rights, and does not really want to always make concessions, and does not want to be henpecked in everything. This is where the constant scandals and the carve-up of "influence" or something, and the struggle for power begin. And a man here already appears in the eyes of women as a Tyrant, a satrap, a sadist and generally a tough villain "who does not even give a step." And if the man does not concede, then in the majority such a union breaks up, people get divorced, because women, as a rule, rarely make concessions (much less often than men), and with great reluctance. If the man begins to give in, then see option number 1. He preserves the relationship, but becomes henpecked, a rag, domestic and sweet and tamed. Against whom I begin to complain that he is not a man already, but a rag. Something like this: 2 options, either a TIRAN or a RAG, the third is rarely given. So how is it to please women when it’s neither so nor so good?

MXX, age: 04/09/2013

Dear men, HELP !!! figure out. How to live in harmony with you? What is the most important thing in life for you and is there a place for a family in it? My marriage is crumbling and now I realized with horror that it never existed. Neither the stamp in the passport nor the wedding ceremony created an alliance in heaven! I fear the future. Will I never feel real joy from a relationship with a man (Married for 10 years)? Now I am completely confused, because I am ready to devote my life to caring for my man and our child, but his interests are in a different plane: a career (which is not close at the moment), so that the neighbors would envy something, “swell” after work, and at home to escape from reality in your favorite game. Am I doing something wrong? I understand that his behavior was brought up under stereotypes like "a man should", but we are all adults and must educate ourselves. Please, dear men, respond, give an answer!

Victoria, age: 32 / 03/15/2013

Women! Don't want to carry a double load? Working at work and at home? So don't work, become housewives. For example, I told my husband that I didn't want to work anymore, so he immediately became more active)) I found ways to earn more. It's simple. Who or what is stopping you from doing the same ??? I also want to say that I had the opportunity to observe married couples every day (this was the job). I really do not like what I observed ... Between spouses in 90% there is no respect. Men are mostly led by their rude wives. Moreover, some meekly carry the role of henpecked, others are a kind of capricious "sons" for their wife-mother, still others snarl, but have already understood the hopelessness of the situation ... and between them there is an eternal war-rivalry (I mean the second and third). It’s a sad sight ... I don’t know who is to blame .. But you, women, will have to correct the situation (lack of real masculinity, responsibility and nobility). If you want, of course, a real man. Is it difficult, unfair? And who said that life is a pleasure walk?)) A woman will have to be a woman to the end ... be weak, defenseless, tender, inspire her man ... and believe that everything will be fine. The only way.

Lana, age: 02/25/2013

Comments are more interesting to read than an article. Why is there so much aggression on the part of men on the article ??? A real man is my grandfather, the retired chief physician, who raised three children and puts my grandmother first in his life, who cares even about the little things in my life, who knew everyone I met, worried when I entered, looked for I work with me, looking for ways to treat my husband's infertility. And this is with a large number of granddaughters and grandchildren like me. And despite the fact that he has been sick with cancer for 15 years, fights and remains an optimist, does not whine. And here's the thing ... there are just as few real men as there are real people in general. And what exactly is this person is determined only by the deeds, the quality of the deeds (at work, in the family and everywhere).

Liza, age: 23/29/2012

A real man is a responsible man! Not an idle talker and not a womanizer who does not require love and attention to himself, as well as does not knock him under his own framework. I believe that a man, if he is, will never drop a word that he cannot keep. For example: he said - we’ll get married, and then babble “I don’t want a family,” said “we’ll give birth to a little one,” but he himself is sick of this thought and a lot more ... there are just things that should not be forgiven, let go, but not forgive. A woman can do without a man. You should not torment yourself with the presence of someone who cannot even keep his word - this is absurd. Each person should be whole in unity with himself and not fill the space intended for his spiritual growth with some person who destroys your true "I".

Ksenia, age: 26/14/12/2012

And how to explain the situation when I married a man who only seemed to be a man? I am 23, the last year was very difficult for me (I was graduating from university, in the winter of that year my mother was hit by a car with very serious injuries, barely getting my mother back on her feet, they learned about my grandfather's fatal diagnosis. grandfather (my mother is his daughter), help my grandfather with treatment, and at the same time not fly out of the university. My father is childish, there was no support for him. Then I wanted to hang myself, or poison myself .. My husband then helped me. He then seemed to be a man, strong, omnipotent. and now ... Mother has recovered, grandfather is sick, and my correct husband lives in the country house left to me by his donative grandfather, and considers all this his own. Comes from work, lies on the sofa, eats, drinks tea and walks into the computer. And at my request to put things in order in the barn, a scandal rolls over. Three and a half months have passed since the wedding, and I already hate him ..

Elena, age: 23/29/2012

Good article! Ladies are outraged by the absence of real men ... But who gives birth to these men and brings up? I think most often these are the individuals who, forgive the expression, scream that I myself, all men myself are ballast and the like. respect for a man, then her son is unlikely to have respect for women.

Konstantin, age: 36 / 11/25/2012

the article is good, of course. but now I'm only 35, and I can no longer - neither love a man, nor understand, nor regret. and you can, of course, tell me a lot about my guilt, that this is so - but that will not change anything :)) when I loved and understood and regretted, they deceived me in the end, sat on my neck, for some reason it always was like that. and I learned not to love, manipulate, use. and now I'm happy. relatively, of course. it is a pity that contempt for men is a burden for me - but you can’t get rid of it, perhaps never.

Evgeniya, age: 35/23/11/2012

In theory, I agree with the thesis - love can achieve more than demands. Moreover, it’s the same with women. But how can this be put into practice? For example, if a man spends his earned money on himself and his hobbies? And a situation is created when a woman has to provide for herself - how much has earned, and how much do you have, minus food and household chemicals in the general budget? And if a man ran out of money, then should he give it too? And no one canceled household chores for a woman. How, in this case, to support the man's decisions with love and instill in him the belief that everything is correct? Or do you think this situation is normal?

Anna, age: 32 / 31.10.2012

Real men went to real women.

MZ, age: 35 / 09/11/2012

Lovely women do not take on the functions of men, do not try to surpass us (men) in stamina, firmness and something else that is inherent only in men. Men show and prove their superiority only in male society. A man behaves calmly around a woman, but this is not a sign of indifference. It's just that a woman is softer, more tender, thinner and there is no need to demonstrate her strength and firmness next to her. If you want to see a man next to you, and not a rag, just let him do what he thinks is right. It does not happen that a man is firm, courageous and decisive, but he does what the woman wants. Understand what he and the man is doing, since he decided, and if you somehow take away this right, then take offense at yourself. If a woman asks strongly, then the man will give her this opportunity to decide what and how to be. To compete in something with a woman, we do not understand this and do not accept it. A man will not fight a woman for men's rights, because not a single normal man wants to live next to a courageous woman. Men do not fight women, especially for the right to be a man. And if you want a man to do a lot for you, just be more feminine, weak and confused, well, at least cheat on us in this. The result will only make you happy.

Alexander, age: 28 / 25.08.2012

A small digression to lovely ladies: when demanding from a man to be a MAN, do not forget to be a WOMAN .. It is very easy to demand and criticize something from someone .. It is much more difficult to reflect on your mistakes!

Alex, age: 27/05/2012

The assertion that only a man relies on logic is fundamentally wrong. Because more often than not, men hide their heads in the sand just when you expect help and support from them, but at this time you get it on your head. Something like this.

Sam, age: 34/04/2012

From Hokun's reply from 07/20/2010: Are you sure that you really need a creature that has endured something for 4 years? In my circles, people don't even wipe their feet about such people. To avoid getting your boots dirty. Sorry, honey, but a strong man should be proud, right? Don't answer, though. This statement.

Leo, age: 34 / 04/07/2012

Hello. Your approach is quite interesting. You are trying to convince women that we are good. And the proposals to love and respect us are reminiscent of an appeal to mothers raising sons. It is touching. But, firstly, "good" is when I feel good (hereinafter - on my own behalf). And secondly, what's the big difference what a woman thinks of me? You never know what she can get into a little bright head? .. These are her problems. I do not like? The exit is over there. Perhaps you had to deal only with weak men (as in your example about the dumbfounded from the beginning of the article). Speaking about myself: I see the goal and go to the goal. And if someone hits me under the caterpillars, I will absolutely not give a damn that she (since we are talking about the "man-woman" link) will think, feel, talk about me. And even more so, I will be completely indifferent to the opinion of the herd with its eternal sentiments in the form of pity for one's neighbor and mutual assistance (to the phrase "... social and family attitudes towards a man are in the common expression:" Well, this is a man, why should he Will you take it? Well, what do you want from men! ").

Leo, age: 34 / 04/07/2012

The most interesting thing is that the article is mostly useless. Why? Yes, because women and men who live in perfect harmony, according to the rules of such articles, do not read them, they do not need it! And those who have problems with men will create a platform from the article for new slogans about male failure, selfishness, weakness, etc., etc. Someone lives calmly and happily, but someone does not know how and does not want to do anything. And the manifestation of female grievances against men, they say, they are children or mothers' sons, just suggests that the woman herself is still in a childish state! And oh, how you don't want to grow up, because you have to take responsibility for a man! Yes, yes, the responsibility that you expect from men! Grow up, women!

Male, age: 40 / 10/14/2011

I actually realized that a man is always looking for warmth and understanding, affection. If he loves you, then he will never go anywhere, love each other as you are, in time everything will be ...

Christina, age: 20/04/2011

Your scheme, described in the articles, does not work. Just kill me. Tested on two men. One got drunk, the other felt like a superman and wanted to live alone. Apparently to try out a new self among new women. This does not mean that you should not try. But the MAN is difficult to find now. And it is important to find an individual approach to everyone. Now not every woman wants to bother with it. Something is changing in this world. Maybe matriarchy is coming soon? Compelled.

Lana, age: 33/06/2011

I agree with everything, but I can say that sometimes in life there is no way to wait until a man appears next to you, so you harness yourself, because you have to earn money, help your parents, etc. Although I would gladly show weakness)))

Daria_ya, age: 27/01/2011

There was, is and will be the question: "What is an intelligent woman?" I think this article is the guide for a smart woman. A stupid, consumer-oriented woman will still not understand, because she herself was brought up on "autopilot". And it is also a very correct guide for families, because it flips the idea of ​​the correct upbringing of boys by 180 degrees.

Klim Samgin, age: 47 / 05/01/2011

one person said: if a man is not in harmony in the family, he either becomes a drunkard or a philosopher. Yes, there is something in this. The article is chaotic, but this is because the topic is too broad, justifying the need for a man. What is there to justify, the bird flies on two wings, the family also has two wings: husband and wife, mother and father. It is true that feathers can be plucked here and there. Here ideas were expressed about the fact that a man (husband) should be a support - Right. And the wife, the wife should be the support of the husband or not. And what exactly. No, not in terms of cooking, cleaning. a man should be able to do everything himself. And for example, in terms of the spiritual education of the family, should the wife be a support? And if both are childish about it. The spirit creates a form for itself. that's where the problems grow.

Dmitry, age: 45 / 03/18/2011

I read the article - everything is written about me: I don’t express feelings, I don’t laugh, I don’t cry, I don’t have fun, because all my childhood I was taught that to show feelings is not worthy of a real man. To be a boy means to fight, to disobey, to pull the girls by the pigtails, to despise them, to be rude to them. To be insolent to a teacher who gave a two, to pretend that the teacher’s notations do not concern you, so as not to admit his correctness, and in fact, so as not to show my weakness - I have always really done so. I always thought that I did this because I am a bad person and that I wish everyone evil, but as it turned out, I just wanted to be a man: strong, firm, emotionless.

Anonimouse, age: 01/05/2011

Confusedly written. The internal logic of the article is sorely lacking. Pondergano abstracts from different places. It seems that the thoughts are good separately, but in general there is no sense in the article.

Peter, age: 10/11/2010

"who does not want to participate in household chores the old fashioned way, or simply does not know how to do anything. Well, the old model of relations does not work, no matter how you lubricate it." Well, just my words from grade 6 to 2005. My father and grandfather were just perfect, that is, they were homely (they repaired, went to the market), and they worked hard at work. But that was under the USSR. And then it got hard. And now my husband only works and brings money. And that's all. I tried to sing my song. Offer to take on at least 2 of his 4 hacks. I seem to be able to, but I am very worried when someone from the hack calls that they have something broken. It's hard for me to tear myself away from the children, from the pan and jerk for the remote desktop. In this sense, sitting a skirt in my research institute is much more pleasant. And then the stress, my emotions and the emotions of the director of that company. I thought, and decided to leave the stress to my husband, and paint the windows, wash the floors and carry potatoes myself. True, she lost her qualifications. But she didn’t throw it away and the milk didn’t go to waste. Life is such that the one who gives birth and feeds needs a quiet burrow and cannot run after prey. Physiology is such that a woman has more interhemispheric nerve connections in her brain. This helps to keep track of the catryul, manicure, phone and baby at the same time. Or helps to be a dispatcher on the railroad. Or it helps a couple of times more tea than men to recover after a stroke (the remaining hemisphere works for two). But it gets in the way of DECISING. Really. And against the structure of the brain, sex reassignment surgery will not help. That's all.

2 Jazz "And you can grow children yourself, but who will make these children for you?" Like who? Genetic Engineering. :-)))))) Think again what you wrote. Do you think men give women only genetic material? Then they are really not needed much. But seriously, what am I writing about here? It's easy to learn what to do, it's hard to educate. Men are needed for education, and very much. And they also need so that the closet does not move itself, so that there is someone to carry bags from the market while you are pregnant, so that you can refuse your beloved child, citing dad's authority (and dad is protected from childhood emotions, he will withstand a whim), so that there is someone to think about my problems on the other hand, to sit on maternity leave and walk with a stroller to the market, and suffer from economical kitchen problems, and not run around looking for hackwork and part-time jobs with a child in a backpack. Here.

Hokun, age: 32/07/2010

Another example. My husband and I had a computer science class. I had to prepare a lot, just build the show. As a result, I have only boys left in the group and they are almost not buzzing. when I told you. My husband had his own group the other day, but one day he replaced me. I come, I think it's closed. And they are sitting there, they also brought friends, quietly, you can hear the flies flying, and my bore and pedant husband expounds, without preparation ... the conclusion: it is difficult and very difficult to raise a boy without a man. I know only one case where my mother was simply iron, my grandmother felt sorry for and brought up on the example of her late grandfather. Almost normal 2 guys have grown up. But this mother could say "no" with an urge, think coldly, and she does not know how to groan. Generally. And she had to walk her sons all over the city and the region, and go on excursions, and climb hills, and go on hikes with a backpack, and drive on kurzhi. That is, she worked and fulfilled the functions of a father, while the grandmother cooked and fulfilled the functions of a mother-gaggle. The sons drove away any boyfriends of the mother, and she had to put her 20 best years only on the children. And her sons grew up people. Question: can you do that? If not, take care of your husband.

Hokun, age: 32/07/2010

From ancient Greek mythology. Achilles' parents (at whose heel) were named Peleus and Thetis. Mom is a sea goddess, dad is a man. Many people know that Achilles' mother bathed in the magic river, holding the heel, then the heel was unprotected. But in this case, the story of his parents is more interesting. Zeus was told that the son of Thetis would be born much stronger than his father, and Zeus gave up looking at Thetis and ordered her to be married off to a mortal. The hero Peleus was instructed: to sneak up to the cave when it comes out of the water, and hold it, no matter what it turns into. I don’t remember what it turned into, but into fire and a snake - for sure. In fairy tales, a similar situation occurs, but the myths are older. It also occurs in life. I am a single mother, mortally offended by all men and almost a feminist, and my husband for the first 4 years of acquaintance and marriage endured fire and a snake, which he did not deserve, and only now I am a little humanized. We are women. "Someone had offended her before me, and she could not forgive me for that."

Hokun, age: 32/07/2010

It's funny to read women's reviews here within the meaning of \ "but really, why do we need a man \". And you can grow children yourself, but who will make these children for you? And it's also funny that men continue to intercede for outside women. And if you don't need us, then maybe you shouldn't stand up for you either? :)

Jazz, age: 24/04/2009

Actually, a woman really doesn't need a man - that's the whole problem. Not needed as a breadwinner, breadwinner and master. A woman in our time can provide all this for herself. That is, the old male role has died, and the new one has not been born yet. So it turns out that the woman herself: earns, gives birth, brings up, cooks, cleans up (see the full list in the articles about femininity on this site). And at the same time, she is also offered an additional burden that she allegedly needs - a man who does not want to participate in household chores the old fashioned way or simply does not know how to do anything. Well, the old model of relationships does not work, how do not smear it. For a man to be needed in this regard, he must share household and child-rearing responsibilities equally with his wife. Then he will be respected as an equal. And to respect a man simply because he is a man - no one will, not those times. The first example is very indicative, where "he is fed, looked after" and he is unceremoniously poked in the nose with a pack of cigarettes. The example is given to show that a man became so through the fault of his wife, but for me - if you are fed and looked after, then be ready for the appropriate attitude. Or learn to feed yourself and take care of yourself, your wife is not your mommy. So much for the secret of masculinity.

Rina, age: 32 / 30.07.2009

To accept a man as he is, i.e. do not impose on him in your heart any duties of his from above. And this, of course, does not mean running around with a man like a child and gratifying his weaknesses. Acceptance means not rejecting his weaknesses and helping him cope with them where he lacks support.

Dima, age: 120/03/06/2009

The article leaves an ambivalent impression. It seems that it calls for good, but somehow strange. I don't really like the slogan to accept a man as he is. It turns out that all the work must be done by a woman - namely, to accept, understand, love and ennoble. Again, a man is a passive subject, such as he was in childhood, when his mother decided everything for him. Not every woman smiles to be a second mother to her own husband.

Regina, age: 35/03/2009

and I agree with the author, thanks for the wise lines. I have seen many times how one and the same man with different women behaves differently, for one there is a star from the sky ready, and on the other he wipes his feet, and women with different guys in different ways behave, so you also need to take a closer look at your behavior)))

Julia, age: 33/06/2009

You can consider me a \ "man-hater \" and an ardent feminist, but this will not affect my attitude towards those representatives who \ "must be accepted as they are \", and then still love and respect them. Just because it dangles between their legs? Ha-ha! Most have a negative attitude towards feminization. You may be surprised, but I am also not a supporter of feminism. But I think that men in our country are no less feminized than women. They consider themselves free from responsibilities, from responsibility for a woman. Pregnant women do not have to walk, and if so, it means \ "it is her own fault \". And in family life the same thing - they selfishly recognize freedom and rights for themselves (I am a man! And you, shut up, woman!) children, accepting it as a law of nature and something that is self-evident. And in old age they generally start a new \ "lyalu \", and the old \ "throw away \", like an old shabby rug. And why do you wonder then, men, where does feminism come from? You sow it by your own actions and your attitude towards a woman! And the women themselves are to blame for allowing them to wipe their feet. In a normal person, it does not matter whether it is a man or a woman, self-confidence is fueled not from the outside, as it is written in this article, but from the inside, and does not depend on the opinions of the surrounding and external conditions. Such a person does not demand to love himself, but first of all knows how to love (which means sacrificing something for the sake of a loved one and getting pleasure and joy from it), especially for a man. A strong man, not afraid to show his weaknesses. And if a man wants to be loved, then let him learn to take responsibility for a start.

A man must create problems for himself ( Alexander Ipatov, President of the Russian National Federation Oyama Kyokushinkai Karate-do)
We are responsible for everything that surrounds us ( Andrey Kochergin)
Imaginary and real courage ( Alexey, 57 years old)
A real man does not throw words to the wind ( Alexander Fomichev)
A man is brought up by activity ( Psychologist Lyudmila Ermakova)
Fatherhood as a quality of a real man ( Irina Moshkova, candidate of psychological sciences)

A true man is one who is able to take responsibility. First of all, for myself. In all my life. For your destiny. For those events that take place in his life. After all, as you know, the law of cause and effect works in life. Everything that happens to us is the result of our thoughts, our conversations, our actions. Well, or a kind of "payback" for actions in previous incarnations ...

True man the one who takes responsibility, the one who cares about someone or someone who takes care of. Be it your own family, an elderly mother, a disabled neighbor ...

A true man displays the qualities of Generosity, Truthfulness and Mercy.

True woman strives for such a man, she feels protected with him, she trusts him ... Therefore, she evaluates a man by his leadership abilities. If a man cannot take responsibility for himself, the woman feels insecure, insecure, uncomfortable….

The true qualities of a man

The main qualities of a real man- responsibility, taking care of oneself and one's loved ones, an active life position, the desire to realize oneself in "one's own business", decisiveness, a manifestation of strength, the search for one's destiny, wisdom.

Many women (unfilled, unmanifest) take such properties of a masculine character as anger, aggressiveness, in some situations even hatred of other people for masculine strength. But this is a great delusion.

A true man is harmonious and negative manifestations are not inherent in him, well, or are inherent in a minimal degree. We are all humans!

Protection (guardianship) of a woman

A man protects a woman and this manifests itself on several levels:

1. materially- financial security of a woman;

2. emotionally- the ability to calm down if a woman is overly emotional, the ability to understand her feelings at the moment and the fact that everything said by a woman is "waiting" for male protection.

A simple example. The wife heals a sore throat and complains to the man that it hurts. Wrong answer from my husband: well, I would buy the medicine more effective and the result would be obvious. And the correct answer: everything will pass, darling, be patient - it will soon be easier.

3. spiritually- a man “sets” spiritual values-standards in the family, including family ones.
And another important fact: a woman shows respect for a man if he is active in everything, first of all, in his business, business, and is independent. Strong attachment to family and home, on the contrary, turns her away from a man.

And again vivid example causal relationship. Dear men, if you want to see a manifested, filled woman with you, become a true man! The more his masculine qualities are manifested in a man, the more the woman begins to show her feminine qualities, the more the woman is filled with feminine energy.

If a man does not want to take responsibility, cannot make decisions himself, does not seek to provide for his family, then he forces a woman to show her masculine qualities. This law works and vice versa - in both directions.

The life of a man in a family, with a woman contributes to his spiritual formation and development. And if at first he learns to cope with the "financial" burden that has fallen on him, then later his development is manifested in his spiritual component - to love unconditionally. LOVE WITHOUT CONDITIONS. Give feelings, emotions regardless of the manifestations of his wife.

The true strength of a man

What strengthens the male spirit and its true qualities?

1. The most important thing is the ability to control your emotions in relation to your woman, your family and those around you. Only a real man is capable of this. This is the ability to conquer anger, hatred, irritability, discontent, your selfishness, this is the ability to manage your emotional manifestations, the ability to defeat bad habits, protect yourself from life's difficulties and reach financial heights.

2. Set goals and achieve them Is the essence of masculine nature. To achieve a position in society is one of the main goals of a man, but not in order to be proud of him, or he was proud of himself, but to be himself, a true man.

3. Spiritual and personal growth- a man should be interested in how to live correctly, the spiritual laws of the universe, a healthy lifestyle and guide his woman. A man must strive to become true in order for his woman to accept him.

4. "Strengthen the character"- early awakening, hardening procedures (well, it tastes and colors, for example, dousing with cold water), eating bitter and spicy foods to enhance male energy, which contributes to the development of the mind. Sweet food enhances the female character and develops her emotional component.

5. Happiness in society, society it is possible to achieve with a true filled woman. But nevertheless, a man should strive for this. This contributes to his development as a person.

Only by knowing his true qualities a real man will go his way - The path of a true man.

Edited by Marina Belaya.

Gentlemen, I greet you! I am starting a series of articles devoted to describing the qualities of a real man, his daily functionality, skills, activities, way of thinking. Questions may immediately arise: what are the criteria for "authenticity"? Women's Wishlist? Or is the image of Ivan Tsarevich taken as a standard? Or maybe the image of a club major with polished nails and bangs? And in general, what does "a real man" mean? And men who do not meet the criteria, then, are they like toys?

The criteria are very simple: to be a real man means to correspond to masculine nature... Ethologists call them. About what is the male nature, I wrote in detail in the articles that are basic for this blog: "" and "". Here, I will take the ideas from these articles as a basis and translate them into a practical one, taking into account the connection to our time and the way of life of an urban person. All these are not my discoveries, since the “bicycle” was invented many millennia ago, and I will only present my ideas in my own and, I hope, understandable words.

Any man is a potential husband and father, and is fully realized as a man precisely in a relationship with a woman, in a family. The result of a man matching his masculine nature is harmony in his relationship with a woman.

The daily activities of the family can be conditionally divided into internal and external, that is, at home and outside the home. The male functional can be characterized in one phrase as follows: a man whose lifestyle corresponds to male nature is focused on external activities - outside the home. The house that he built or, which is more common in our time, acquired. Let's go into details. tells us that - a set of energies of odd chakras - the first, third and fifth... Let me remind you what these chakras are:

• first chakra - energy of survival
• third chakra - energy of achievement
• fifth chakra - the energy of creativity

And about everything in detail - below and in the following articles.

The first chakra is the energy of survival

The basic functionality of a man is to ensure survival.

The fulfillment of this function consists of three male roles:

1. Leader, leader
2. Defender, warrior

Leader functions:

• responsibility for the well-being of the family
• responsibility for solving external family problems
• making strategic decisions in the family, the role of the head of the family.

Protector - providing physical security.

Defender functions:

• responsibility for the physical safety of a woman, children, family
• protection and emotional support of a woman. Responsibility for her calmness.

Earner signs:

• sole / main breadwinner in the family
• hunter, fisherman, knows how to get food in the wild

Earner functions:

• responsibility for the family budget
• responsibility for the supply of products and other resources
• responsibility for solving household problems, in particular, house renovation

All these points I will disclose in detail in the next parts of the series of articles entitled "Who is a real man?"

Third chakra - energy of achievement

A man is focused on external activities - activities in a society in which he strives for achievements: business, career, money, awards, victories, successful projects, etc. All this is a purely masculine role, a man is by nature an achievement. A little more than a hundred years ago, women began to apply for this role, but this does not make them (and us, as a result) happier - one time, and does not relieve us of the obligation to perform this function - two.

The following signs indicate that the third chakra is working properly in a man:

• striving for self-improvement;
• purposefulness, willpower;
• initiative, inclination to take risks, ability to calculate risks and consequences;
• responsibility for your words and deeds, for the results of your activities, for your life, for your family;
• ability to solve problems;
• the ability to make decisions quickly;
• high social status and stable financial position;
• fulfillment of the desires of a beloved woman.

Fifth chakra - the energy of creativity

The work of this energy gives a man the opportunity not only to achieve some formal goals like "becoming a leader", but to make the world around him better. In other words, a real man has a Work of Life, to which he is devoted and which fills his life with meaning. This is if we talk about creativity as self-realization. In addition, the fifth chakra includes creative activity (music, painting, theater) and a creative approach to other areas of life (creativity in business, beautiful courtship of a woman, wit, etc.)

So, the energy of creativity in a man is manifested in the following:

• the presence of the Work of Life;
• creativity, artistic taste;
• possession of various knowledge, skills, crafts;
• sense of humor, creativity and liveliness of thinking;
• the ability to look after a woman beautifully.

Who is a real man?

Thus, a "real man" - a male person who performs the functions of a defender, warrior, hunter, winner and creator, takes responsibility for his family, for his words, decisions, actions, strives for victories and success in society and is creatively realized in his beloved business that makes the world a better place. As a result, such a man has a set of personal qualities and skills that allow him to perform the listed functions, and also leads a lifestyle that contributes to the development of these qualities and skills.

Alexander Kaminsky,
blog host
"The way of a real man"

In short, I think a successful man is a realized man. And the implementation implies that it has:

a) BUSINESS with a capital letter, which he is good at and which he likes;

b) PEOPLE (family, woman, children) whom he loves and for whom he is responsible.

And at the same time, both work and family are a joy to him. However, even if it is implemented in one thing, it is still successful. Especially if it is realized solely from an internal need, and not to prove something to someone.

A man can be married or single, unemployed, but a wonderful husband and father, or a childless high professional. Another disclaimer: the main thing is not how much a man earns, but whether he can feed himself - if he is alone, and his wife and children - if he is a family man. Maybe? Then there is no question.

It is important that there is love in his life, that he accepts himself as a man and, in principle, likes his life. In general, a successful man is one who feels successful on his own.

I declare with full responsibility: you cannot raise a real man if you “press”, humiliate, and even more so whip your son. But you will grow up a cruel neurotic, with aggression and a huge resentment towards life, which he will take out on everyone: on women, classmates, classmates, employees, fellow travelers on the train, and, in fact, on you.

His main emotion will be the thirst for satisfaction for his childhood humiliation and suffering. He will hate himself and "women", and be afraid of men.

By the way, what is called corporal punishment in Russia is defined all over the world as “physical violence” (a legal term) and is punished to the fullest extent of the criminal legislation. In many countries, what is allowed and what is not in relation to their own children is also regulated at the level of the Law. And I think this is correct.

In our country, against the background of general aggressiveness, society also persistently imposes on children its idea of ​​who a "real man" is. Boys are told the same thing: “Don't be a girl”, “Don't behave like a woman”, “Give in, you're a boy,” “This is not male behavior” ... And the most contradictory of the attitudes is “Men don't cry”.

Having the opportunity to repeatedly observe the consequences of this approach, I can say that it affects the child's psyche in the most negative way. The boy is told that men do not cry, but he wants to cry, he feels weak and defenseless, heavy emotions accumulate, finding no way out. Parents expressing active disapproval of a child's tears are no longer his friends, but those people who cannot show their true feelings, their face. And the boy learns forever that if he shows weakness, he will not be understood and will not be supported. And hello a bouquet of complexes led by an inferiority complex!

The child should have the right and the opportunity to throw out his emotions, experience suffering and only after that accept the situation and deal with it. By the way, adults, strong men, may well cry if something touched them. And that doesn't make them women.

ONLY LOVE and its consequences

All women dream of a strong, kind, understanding man. I tell you how these are obtained.

A successful man is formed even before conception. His parents love each other, are happy and are waiting for his appearance. Further more.

If a boy is supported at home, he is treated warmly and with understanding, then he will grow into a man who knows how to support and understand a woman.

If a boy is accepted as he is, regardless of his physical and mental abilities - he is not pressured, not loaded with expectations and demands, he will grow into a man who loves a woman, UNCONDITIONALLY, and God forbid - one for life.

If a boy is respected, an agreement is made with him, his choices and desires are taken into account, he grows into a confident adult man with high self-esteem, self-acceptance and the very minimum of cute complexes.

If the parents were in a difficult conflict relationship, did not pay attention to the boy, every now and then they shouted, accusing each other of all sins, he would behave in the same way in his relationship. (If childhood was very difficult - he was beaten, left for days with neighbors, or even sent to an orphanage, then growing up, he does not want a family or children at all).

If the parents behave responsibly towards the boy, he will behave the same towards the woman. Etc. Children generally develop only by analogy, not following the rules that you declare, but adopting your way of behavior.

Therefore, dear boy dads! Remember that even if you do not live with your son's mom, you are the main example for him. And when you communicate with the mother of your son, please do not pour out old grudges on her, do not show disrespect, and even more so aggression. Thus, you practically do not leave your son a chance for a happy harmonious relationship with the opposite sex.

And therefore, dear mothers of boys! Be considerate of your sons, and don't be afraid to show love and other positive emotions. Spend time with him, talk to him, do not offend him with distrust and coldness. How many times have I heard from adult men: "If I like a woman, I can't even talk to her." And why? Because as a child, he already approached his most beloved woman - his mother, and she sent him. Most likely, even more than once.

And the last thing.

Dear Men! Whatever you are at the moment, you can always become better, kinder, more prosperous. And you will do a great favor to your family and especially your children if you make friends with your head,

Only in this way can you raise a man from a son - healthy, happy, real.