What to talk to a girl about in the morning. "What kind of music caresses your ear?" Possible topics for conversation

During the first meeting with a girl or on the next date, if there were few of them, there are uncomfortable hitch or pauses in the conversation. The reason for the silence is often excessive excitement, because of which even a very sociable person awkwardly falls silent at the most crucial moment.

To avoid such problems, it is worth preparing in advance for topics for conversation that will come to the rescue in difficult times.

The difficulty of communicating by correspondence lies in the impossibility of determining a person's emotions. It is difficult to understand whether the topic of conversation is pleasant or unpleasant for the girl.

If the answers are monosyllabic, the conversation "doesn't go well" - she probably doesn't like the subject matter.

It's a slippery slope, so it's important to choose versatile and harmless themes:

  • animals;
  • hobbies, hobbies;
  • dreams, goals;
  • study, work;
  • recreation;
  • trips;
  • favorite, memorable places;
  • literature, cinema, music;
  • relationship;
  • food, drinks;
  • holidays;
  • friends;
  • clothing, fashion.

The best topics to talk on the phone

If you get the impression that the girl is trying to get away from the conversation, you should immediately change the topic.

No need to "squeeze", persistently ask questions to which she is reluctant to answer. The conversation will be pleasant for both, if you follow the rules.

It is forbidden:

  1. Talk constantly only about yourself.
  2. Interrupt the girl.
  3. Discuss exes.
  4. Asking questions that are too frank.
  5. Disrespectful to the answers (perhaps her hobby will seem ridiculous or ridiculous, but this is the choice of the girl you like - it must be respected).

Topics for conversation at the first meeting (date, walk)

Before the first date, guys and girls are worried, so they prepare carefully for it. But at the time of the meeting, so that experiences do not develop into panic, it is better not to allow long pauses in the conversation. An awkward silence will only add to the excitement.

Topics for conversation on a first date:

  1. Favorite food. A good topic for discussion with many directions: national cuisine, the best restaurants, etc. When food preferences are still unknown, one should not speak negatively about a dish, because it may be on the list of favorites of the interlocutor.
  2. Animals. It is not necessary to discuss only pets, it will be interesting to talk about wild animals.
  3. Rest, leisure. Relaxation methods, preferred options for filling free time.
  4. Art (cinema, music, theater, painting). An extensive topic with one hundred percent hitting the interlocutor (there are definitely preferences).
  5. Trips. You can discuss your recent travels: where you were, what you liked, tell about vivid impressions.
  6. Social connections. Are there friends, girlfriends? One or two close people or a large company - it is important to find out at the first meeting, perhaps the interests do not coincide.
  7. Hobbies, hobbies. A great topic for rapprochement, if there are points of contact (both are fond of swimming, reading, games). In the absence of such, there will be a reason to learn something new, possibly to change the formed opinion.
  8. Jokes, funny stories. On the first date, it is better to talk about harmless situations in life. Black humor and vulgarity should be abandoned, since the reaction of the interlocutor is unknown.
  9. Study, work. You need to know where the girl studies or who works, so as not to get into an awkward situation. You should not immediately talk about the hated profession, suddenly she is working in this particular field or studying in a similar direction.
  10. Plans for the future. What goals do you want to achieve? Imagine your life in 5 or 10 years, invite her to do the same and describe a picture of prospects.

Dirty and anonymous topics for sharp conversation

Similarity in sexual preferences with a girl is an excellent link for a couple's relationship.

To get a brighter picture, you can suggest several situations:

  • Alone with a guy, excitement grows, but he makes no attempts to get closer. Will you take the initiative?
  • The guy is not your type, but cute enough offers to go to sex. Have sex out of pity?
  • Friend and girlfriend hint at threesome, but the girl does not appeal to you. What will you do?
  • You're dating a guy who turns out to be a virgin. Can you help him become a man?
  • In a compartment alone with a guy, a desire arises between you. Ready to have sex with a stranger without obligation?
  • Imagine turning into a man for one day. What will you do? Who would you like to try new sensations with?
  • The guy suggests using sex toys. How do you feel about this? Do you like role-playing games?
  • You understand that only sex connects you with a young man, there are no other interests. Are you going to continue the relationship? For a long time?
  • He invited him to see a movie. We agreed to watch a comedy, but suddenly obscene photographs appear on the screen. What is your reaction? Will you take a look?
  • Is it nice when they seduce you, speak frankly about their desire to engage in intimacy? Do you like intimate compliments?
  • I found out about a sale in a sex shop with a huge discount (90%!). What will you buy?

If you run out of topics for conversation, what to talk about?

  1. Events for the day. Ask how the girl spent the day, what she did. Ask leading questions so that the answers are detailed. If she confesses that she is sad, find out why.
  2. Joint fantasies. Ask an unusual situation and imagine the development of events. For example, you were left alone on the planet or found yourself on an uninhabited island. What will your life be like?
  3. Global problems. Discuss / propose alternative ways to solve the problem of hunger in the whole world, wars, to prevent an ecological catastrophe. There is a wide range of destinations here. You can fantasize or suggest real, relevant methods.
  4. A new common hobby. Together with the girl, choose a hobby that none of you have ever been fond of. Collaborative learning (if required) will bring together fresh topics of conversation.
  5. Details of past conversations. Among the topics that have already been discussed, there must be some understatements. For example, a girl talked about her favorite movie. Find out which actor's performance impressed her the most. What tapes with his participation she still watched. You can take any topic: book, painting, cartoon ...

Don't slow down. ... ...

Many guys, sometimes even the most daring, have problems when communicating with a woman they like, all their pressure goes somewhere. Then an uncomfortable pause hangs in the air, which is not easy to smooth out, because all the necessary words are forgotten. To prevent this from happening, study our article. In it you will find interesting topics for conversation with a girl in different directions.

How to build a conversation with a girl on a social network?

Social networks are a separate world, people talk here for years without seeing each other. Someone is happy with this - the second, virtual life. But it is better not to delay - having met on the Internet, try to meet faster in reality, because a person in reality may turn out to be completely different. However, what is there to talk about? Any questions will do:

  • On the topic of relationships;
  • Hobby;
  • Favorite dishes, books, films;
  • Friends and family;
  • Ask how she likes to be looked after;
  • What holidays does he like to celebrate, and which he prefers to skip?
  • About the funniest cases in life.

Conversations over the Internet are always bolder and more frank; in extreme cases, you can simply leave the chat or block an unnecessary interlocutor. But this cannot go on for a long time, if communication exists, do not delay and call her on the phone.

In this video, psychologist Yegor Sheremetyev will tell you what questions they ask a girl to support the conversation and make it fun and interesting:

Topics for talking with a girl on the phone

  • Meet, go to the cinema, theater, exhibition. Rely on information that you have already received;
  • Discuss whether she wants you to pick her up and continue on together, or whether it will be neutral territory;
  • Be sure to describe yourself. Photos on a social network usually differ from the real picture, it will be difficult to recognize each other.

Now it remains to wait for the date. But you also need to prepare for it, think about what to talk about, and what thoughts to leave with you for now.

What to talk about when you first meet, date, walk?

The main thing is not to worry, do not panic, the moment is really very emotional. But pull yourself together, relax, then it will be much easier to conduct a conversation. Speak easily, without tension, do not allow awkward pauses:

  • Ask about leisure... How he spends his free time, how he rests and relaxes. Tell about yourself too, where you have been and what you do. Perhaps here you will have common interests, agree to relax together;
  • Talk about cuisine and food: best restaurants, taste preferences, national cuisine. Women love when a man knows how to cook, if you own this art, tell your secrets. If not, you can say that you really want to learn;
  • Art, girls like it when a young man understands him. It is possible to discuss contemporary art, cinema, music or the classics;
  • It's great if a woman will funny close to you. The weaker half does not like to be bored on a date. Make her laugh with jokes, but not vulgar, tell funny stories from life.

You can also discuss studies, work, plans. Any neutral questions and directions will do. It happens that out of excitement people say all sorts of nonsense, do not allow this, and if this happened and you said something wrong, do not sharpen your attention, continue talking further or laugh it off.

List of topics for conversation with a girl

The main thing is to decide what goal you want to achieve. It is important! After all, many dates end with nothing personalized due to the fact that the guy does not know what he wants and how. He likes the girl, but uncertainty comes through from him and this is felt in the conversation in the first place.

Initiative and flirting should come from a man:

  1. Pay attention to her vernal view how well she looks and how well she is dressed. After compliments on the topic of beauty, girls unconsciously begin to evaluate themselves and try to please;
  2. If you are doing something extreme, be sure to remember this, girls love desperate ones. Tell in colors what emotions you experience while jumping with a parachute. Now the main thing is to cause in her emotions;
  3. Describe any provocative the situation and ask how she would behave in it. For example, what would she do if that pretty girl over there now came up and invited you to take a walk in the evening. Play on emotions when you want to bring your interlocutor to clean water;
  4. Contribute a little romance... You can talk about your travels, where you have been, how beautiful it is, what you had to endure and overcome. If she gets inspired, suggest the next trip together. If not, she's either shy or not romantic and boring. Whether such a pair is needed is up to you.

After the first meeting, and even after the second, it is difficult to draw a conclusion about the character of a person and his characteristics. A wise woman will not refuse a second date, even when the first one failed or went wrong. And you shouldn't jump to conclusions about your interlocutor.

Personal Questions to Ask a Woman

This is the most exciting moment, not many people dare to ask about the personal. Often, even spouses who have lived together for many years do not talk about intimate topics. Meanwhile, trust is the key to good relationships and quality sex. As you become closer to the woman, you can let her clarify a few things:

  • What do you like about men, what is his ideal?
  • What is your breast size?
  • Do you like watching porn?
  • What poses do you like?
  • What are your sexual fantasies?
  • How do you feel about threesome sex?
  • Do you like kissing?
  • Do you prefer to give or take the initiative in bed?
  • Do you wear nice lingerie?
  • Which man in bed do you like, gentle or tough?
  • Did you have your first experience?
  • Would you like to try it in a public place?
  • What's the most unusual sex you've had?
  • What are your erogenous zones?

Questions can be any, the main thing is to watch the reaction. If the woman is nervous, strains to answer, postpone the conversation until better times. Or help her relax by making it clear that this information about her, like any other, is important.

But any conversation should not be like an interrogation, listen to the interlocutor and speak, ask her opinion and answer. Now in your arsenal there are interesting topics for conversation with a girl, and you can always entertain her and learn something new for yourself.

Video: what to talk about to interest a girl?

In this video, psychologist Alexander Samsonov will tell you what topics to talk about with a girl so that she is not bored with you:

Most guys face one very serious problem. With a lack of communication with the opposite sex, it seems as if there are no common topics for conversation at all, and even cannot be, but this is not so. Many guys successfully find common ground, and in general, all this is easier than it seems.... Today you will find out what you can talk about with a girl, which specific topics are better suited for communication, and which ones are better to bypass, as well as what is needed to communicate freely with representatives of the beautiful half of humanity.

Communication channels

You don't have to ask her out and spend time with her to talk to a girl. In any case, a girl will appear in your life who will linger in her for a while, and therefore you must be ready for such a situation. And even more so get ready if you are aiming at organizing a long-term relationship. The modern world gives us many opportunities for communication, each of which must be used.
  • Telephone. Another important channel. Here you hear the voice of a girl, and she is yours. Therefore, in any case, you will have to somehow maintain the conversation, adjust the timbre, and so on. But at the same time, you do not see the girl, which means that it will be easier for you to communicate with her. Read also my article on how to call a girl.
  • Internet. One could say that this is a channel for real recluses, but it is not. The skills of communicating with a girl on the Internet should also be developed. It has its own rules. It is important to express your emotions with appropriate emoticons, write competently and respond quickly. The girl pays attention to all this.
The themes are common to all of these channels. However, the internet and the phone are unforgiving. If you make a mistake, say something wrong, then the girl on the Internet may simply stop answering you, she will quickly forget you, and it will not be easy to return communication. It's the same with the phone. Hanging up and not picking up is very easy. But live. You have a better chance of making amends and getting back in touch if you make a mistake.

More about her

Now let's go directly to the topics of conversation. The most important of these is the girl herself. Every person is an egoist, no matter what views he adheres to. And everyone will like it if they talk about him in a positive way in his presence. So ask more about her.

With this move you will kill two birds with one stone. Firstly, you ask questions, and the girl answers, you have more time to think about your next question, somehow react, answer. Secondly, you receive information about the girl, which will definitely be useful to you in future communication.

Just pay attention to her. Here you will definitely not be confused, she will clearly have something that is worthy of attention and consideration. It could be a dog on a leash, an unusual hairstyle, or a drill in hand (it would be funny). This is what you can talk about.

When you have already received enough information about her, begin to delve into the details. A person will always talk about his life with interest and enthusiasm. You already know what is interesting for her, and therefore talk about it. Ask her opinion, share your thoughts.

Also, if you have known a girl for a long time, then simple everyday questions will be quite natural. Ask about how she is doing at work or school, what she is doing at the moment, and so on. Compliment her, this is very important when communicating... But you need to follow some rules. Try not to use platitudes and general words. She had heard them many times already. But to pay attention to slender legs, skillful makeup or other details - that's what will really be in the topic. If she is proud of her advantages, she will be pleased that you noticed them and told her about it. By the way, I wrote about how to compliment a girl.

Common topics

There are several topics that any girl would happily support. Of course, there are exceptions, and there will certainly be a female fruit that will hotly support the debate about the intricacies of eating dried fish with beer, but these are special cases, and you should not pay attention to them. But it is imperative to read the following list.

And here are the topics with which you need to be extremely careful. They can cause boredom and negativity. All of this applies to purely masculine topics of conversation.

  • Politics. Only if the girl herself begins to discuss this topic.
  • Football, hockey. The same situation. It is unlikely that a girl will be interested in which team you support, if she does not know any at all.

Emotions are the main thing

What matters is not what topics you will talk about, but what emotions you will evoke in her. It is important to evoke a whole gamut of feelings in her, she will surely like this approach. Therefore, with stories about yourself and topics for conversation, try to make her laugh, excitement, joy, pride, and so on. Emotions for the most part should be positive, but also interspersed with slices of fear, doubt and other emotions that are not directed at you. This is a real guarantor of your success in communicating with the opposite sex!
If you want to know even more secrets for seducing girls

How to learn to talk to girls. The topic is very big, you need not just talk with a girl, you need to talk on the same wavelength, in order to catch a wave, we need to read the girl's gestures, facial expressions and much more.

Accordingly, practice, theory is needed, which I actually wrote in this article.
After reading, you will have topics for conversation with a girl.

Interesting topics for conversation with a girl

  • Sport
  • Trips
  • clothing
  • Weather
  • Dream
  • Achievements
  • The best birthday
  • Personal relationships
  • About hobbies
  • Books
  • About love
  • What types of guys do you like
  • Animals

How to talk to a girl correctly

Your communication should not be structured as a monologue, be it a sudden acquaintance, or a first date. Often guys make a mistake, they only talk about her, how good she is, who she works, what she does, what she loves.

The girl responds sweetly, but when it comes to the number she is in a stupor and does not understand who you are. What are you doing? Why did you come up? What are you interested in?

She has such porridge in her head, boiled porridge, well, what our mothers cooked in childhood. And her brain just can't afford to give a number to a stranger.

Don't be a nerd. Learn to communicate with girls

How can I avoid this?
It's very simple, you asked her something, take it and answer this question yourself.
That is…

- Listen, are you so smart after work now?
- She - "Yes, after work."
- You - "I was not mistaken, but I'm going from training."

And then you automatically build a dialogue and a picture of who you are and what you are with is slowly building in her head. You need to understand, she cannot immediately shower you with questions, how do you do it with her ...

Below you can watch a video on how to start chatting with girls:

But when you build a good dialogue, then take a number and agree on a meeting, then believe me ... after 10-15 minutes she will endure your brain and entertain you with her female themes, that here you will already be faced with the topic of how to be a good conversationalist.

At what stage do you have the most communication problems?

Poll Options are limited because JavaScript is disabled in your browser.

23.06.2017

What to talk about with a girl

When meeting

When we first meet and when we meet, we need to focus on recognizing a person, that is, to talk about topics such as: who do you work, what do you do in your free time, hobbies, etc.

This is done in order to find out about the girl, tell her about yourself (in the process of dialogue), and after that, there will already be an understanding whether it is worth dating her or not. If yes, then we take the number and go ahead.

Intrigue and investigation are welcome - why? Because girls love secrets, secrets, intrigues, and I think not only girls, but everyone loves it. This all together contributes to the call of the girl.
An example of when a girl is well interested.

Then I got interested in a girl whom I recently met on the subway.

On a walk

There is almost no difference here, special conversations from the first meeting and topics are not needed... Unless, we already need to add personal topics, such as: first love, the most ideal man, the most unusual sex.

On the first date

Dating is very good, if you have a meeting with a girl tonight, it means that everything is working out for you, all that remains is to spend dates and at the end of the evening go to you or her and relax.

If you are still worried about what to say and how not to offend a girl, then especially for you we made a social media site. survey among girls. It turned out they think about sex more often than we guys!

Dating is a kind of rope and your task is to pull the rope to yourself and win. The fact that she came on a date suggests that she is interested in communication, and you know that, well, I hope so.

For example, on a date you can invite a girl to play, below I will describe one of the games that will allow you to get to know the girl more.

The game is heads and tails. The bottom line is that, having offered a game for a question-answer, we throw a coin and then the one who wins is the one who asks the questions. You won, took it and asked about the first love, the second time you won, took it and already asked about the first sex, and so off we go. By the way, I discovered this purely by chance when I was on a date.

Why do I say that it is important to talk about sex, because any girl, absolutely any one way or another, wants intimacy, these are genes and there is no escape from them, but for certain reasons she cannot tell you about it.

In the video below, you can see the girl's opinion on dating - as it is:

When you sit and talk about what socks you like to wear, or about the fact that in the new Gelendvagen AMG 6.5 the engine is steeper than in 5/5 it will not be interesting to her.

It will be much more interesting to communicate on personal topics, intimate topics, and when this happens between you, she will see in you not just a guy who met, but a man who knows why he met a girl. That is, you know how to talk on intimate topics, go for it!

In contact with

Now in 2016, VKontakte communication has become frivolous, or so think most people, especially girls.
Will you tell me why?

You must forget about it ... from now on, you will learn to correspond.

Because a lot of guys create fake profiles (fake is when a person passes off someone else's photos as his own). They write some kind of nonsense, in the format - does your mother need a son-in-law? Or they throw off their dignity in all. Yes, and it happens, I hope you are not like that. It already sits in the throat of girls, just like when you write in a template.

  • Hello, you are cute.
    Hi, you are pretty.
    Hello, let's meet?

Easily took a VKontakte number from a girl

Then your chance for dialogue goes to zero ... How not to come to this? There are exercises called Gollum.

I can’t make it out completely here, but here’s the point. You go to a girl's profile, choose a photo where you like her and write about what you like in this photo.

You can answer such a page somehow with a joke

Hello, you are so cute here, + the sun complements the whole frame. What kind of car? That is, we take little things and talk specifically about this topic. If in your heart you don’t f * ck what kind of car, then do not write like that, write about what catches you.

Girls usually have 100-120 photos and you shouldn't have a problem with that. Such communication is very cool because it’s not you, or she doesn’t know when and what you’ll talk about. Try it.

By phone

Telephone communication is the coolest for me. Because I feel a girl. She answers with a smile to my question or suspiciously agrees to my proposal.

That is, I see soberly what is happening in communication between us, and if I see, then I can control the outcome. Somewhere add a joke in communication, but somewhere on the contrary - be more serious.

Spice up conversations with jokes

When calling, it is advisable to ask if it is convenient for her to speak. If so, talk about social topics, warm up your meeting, intrigue, etc. If she cannot speak, then specify when you will call her back. After, in fact, you call back and communicate with her.

What you can't tell a girl

It is better to talk about sex carefully, for this there are special ways, for example, playing with a coin.


How to get a humble girl to talk... She is modest, because she has not met a normal guy, she wants the main man to be in communication and in relationships, so be him, behave calmly and confidently.

Start with social topics and gradually, depending on the reaction, move on to personal topics. Questions to bring the opposite sex to conversation can be of any nature. From personal views of the world to discussing the new Harry Potter series.

  • Ask those questions that really interest you, let's say:
    Do guys often come up to you?
    Are you always so smart?
    Etc.

It’s not very pleasant to watch a guy who says that “I don’t know what to talk about with a girl.” Ask yourself a question - why did I meet her? Or why did I ask her out on a date? Did you answer yourself? Now talk to her about it.

Example “I'm on a date with her because when I saw her I really liked her hair and long legs. Means what? Right, we are starting a conversation about hair and legs ... and you have your own hair? Your friends must be jealous of your legs. Do you wear heels? "

What do girls like to talk about?

This is individual. One likes past conversations, the other loves to talk about ecology. But, in the first and second cases, we need to get her talking. How to get her to talk? You get into the car and insert the keys, then you start, that is, you perform a certain action.

With a girl, start simply on banal topics, talk and move on to those topics that interest you. In 10-15 minutes you will not be able to stop her. Go for it.

How to talk to girls at parties? At parties, it is best to talk about free topics. You can start a conversation with the questions “what kind of music is playing? A long time here? How do you like the club? "

How to talk to a girl to make her fall in love? It's very simple to speak and act like Romeo. Seriously, why do you need this? If you want a relationship, and for her to love you, then start loving yourself, and she will love you.

Now let's talk a little about compliments.

Compliment generator for girls. Take note

Compliments are good, but guys often go overboard. For example, a girl doesn't like her legs because they are small. And the guy says she has the coolest legs. Or the longest legs. Well, that's not it, agree?

So, ask yourself what I like most about this girl, if it's lips, then compliment your lips, if that's what she is wearing, okay, tell me about it.

A small life hack especially for you, my reader. Give and compliment your girlfriend individually.

This topic is very extensive, the blog will be regularly filled with new content and, as I wrote earlier, there will be articles on the topic:

  • How to have a good date and be in an apartment.
  • Throated in the net and more.

Go ahead, you read it, you know what to do.
Good luck to you!

Meeting or talking to a girl for shy guys is a serious challenge. In their case, we are not talking about the usual slight jitters, but about a real tsunami out of fear and excitement. Sean Cooper, a man who has freed himself from shyness on his own, is sure that all these troubles are surmountable. Below are some of his suggestions to help you combat embarrassment and make your conversation more relaxed.

3 reasons to fear girls

1. Feelings of inadequacy

The mere sight of attractive makes you nervous, and the thought of approaching her is terrifying. Why? Because you consider yourself unworthy of this beauty. Think of women whose appearance is far from your ideal. Surely their company causes less discomfort.

The point is that men make too far-reaching conclusions based only on the external data of a woman. But imagine: what if she is stupid? Or does she have no sense of humor at all? Or do you just have nothing in common? You do not yet know this person, but you are already sure of her magnificence (and your inadequacy to him).

As a result, the feeling of your own inferiority robs you of confidence and prevents you from expressing your individuality.

Advice: remember that appearance speaks more of genes than personality. So do not rush to deify a stranger and send yourself to the unworthy list. Better find out in practice what kind of person she is.

2. Obsession and unrealistic fantasies

Shy guys tend to choose one girl as the object of their dreams. Only a couple of short conversations or smiles can connect with a beautiful person: this is enough for a shy person to imagine a joint future in all details. What happens in the end? The guy winds himself up so much that when it comes to decisive action, he gets lost under the weight of inflated expectations.

You have thought about her for so long and turned her into such a perfect being that you are paralyzed by fear.

Sean Cooper

Another scenario for the development of the scenario: you finally dare to ask her out on a date, but after three minutes of conversation you realize that she is not that beautiful lady out of your head at all. And on the basis of three-minute communication, you make a decision to retreat without really recognizing the girl.

Advice: say stop to empty fantasies and channel your energy into communication. Well, remember that there are many cute and interesting girls in the world. Obviously, you shouldn't dwell on one with which you are hardly familiar.

3. Procrastination

Guys who suffer from shyness or have little experience in relationships can wait a long time for a conversation, a touch, a first kiss. But the longer they wait and the more they think about it, the stronger the fear becomes.

Advice: act impulsively. All thoughts that appear after the first impulse are aimed at dissuading you from an act. In the end, it is better to do and regret than not to do and regret.

How to talk to a girl

1. Build the right conversation

Cooper mentions the chain message method. You've probably already used this technique, but it may not be entirely correct.

Its essence is as follows ... Any, even the most insignificant information becomes a starting point. Then a clarifying question is asked. Based on the answer to this question, the next replica is built. And further along the knurled one.

An example of a failed conversation:

A: Hey! Where are you from?

V: From Chelyabinsk.

A: Oh, and what are you doing there?

V: Working.

A: Where, if not a secret?

V: At the factory.

A: And by whom?

V: Milling cutter, * &% + #!

Error A is that he approached the conversation too formally. As a result, it boiled down to a banal listing of facts, from which the milling cutter V.

Tip: rely on emotions, not boring data.

Exercise "Conversation Map"

Take a blank sheet of paper. In the middle, write a word that might serve as a conversation starter or that you often hear from girls. Now draw the rays that go away from it. They will be the directions of the conversation. Form these as statements or as questions. The main thing is that they touch on emotions and values. The more directions you come up with, the better.

Example:

  • Initial word: psychologist.
  • Branch-emotion: how do you feel when you enter into such a close relationship with different people?
  • Branch-value: you are probably a very caring person if you have chosen this profession.

Sudden pauses in conversation, Cooper says, are normal. It is not normal for you to feel uncomfortable or uncomfortable with them. It is with these sensations that you need to fight.

The first thing to do is to realize that you are not a toastmaster, but an accomplice in the conversation. Don't blame yourself for not being able to react instantly and figure out how to continue the conversation. This will only increase the stupor.

The second rule is to stay relaxed. If you are nervous about silence, it automatically becomes awkward.

The third rule (and hint) is the natural continuation of the conversation. Situational comments can help here. The essence of the method is to pay attention to what is happening in the outside world, and not to frantically try to find a topic in your head (which becomes completely empty due to stress).

When you are relaxed and not fixated on inner search, the dialogue ceases to be tortured.

3. Learn to talk about nothing

Another problem for many shy people is that they believe that every conversation should be meaningful. At the same time, conversations are constantly taking place around, the content of which many instantly forget.

These are annoying or perplexing, and their participants may seem downright dimwitted. However, these people have no difficulty in initiating contact and receive their dose of social interaction. And this is worth learning from them.

Where to begin? Stop thinking and allow yourself to be spontaneous. Stay in the present moment without worrying about what you said 10 seconds ago or what you need to say 10 seconds later.

Trust your brain, do not try to squeeze all the juices out of it. In fact, it is a powerful device with a decent amount of information. You just need to let him do his job.

4. But just in case, have a list of topics

The prepared themes are like a cheat sheet: you don't have to use it, but you feel more confident with it. The circle of topics that you can talk to a girl about does not need to be kept in mind all the time. It is enough to outline it and leave it on the periphery of consciousness: if something goes wrong, you can always use it.

Sean Cooper offers nine areas from which to draw ideas for conversation:

  1. Hobby.
  2. Work, study.
  3. Trips.
  4. Entertainment.
  5. Food, cooking.
  6. Past experience.
  7. Observation of the present (situational comments).
  8. Plans for the future.
  9. Human relationships.

As a training, you can come up with five example topics for each of these areas.

Another option is to talk about what you really know a lot about, and try to interest the interlocutor in this. In your field, you will feel more confident and will be able to open up.

Another alternative is to let the girl talk about what she understands, but at the same time remain genuinely passionate about the topic. A genuine interest is always felt. And attracts.

Of course, you should not follow all the advice at once. Try one technique, then another, practice in which situations they work best, or choose whichever is more to your liking.