Behavior of a married man after forty years. Phone conversations and text messages on social networks and more. Psychology and nature of female infidelity

Conventional wisdom argues that a woman is by nature a monogamous being, her purpose is to keep the family, give birth and raise children. However, adultery also occurs on the part of women. Why do women cheat?

And really - why? It would seem clear that cheating does not contribute to the harmonization of your relationship, but will only confuse them even more, although, perhaps, you will receive some temporary satisfaction of your problems. So what pushes women to commit adultery, forcing them to go against their natural destiny to be a wife and mother?

Why do women cheat on men?

Sometimes female infidelity occurs when she begins to receive increased attention from her boss at work.

This happens quite often if the woman is young and beautiful. And it can be very difficult to sacrifice a good position and a high salary, because if a woman does not accept the courtship of her boss, she will only have to quit. Such a betrayal can be called forced and it, as a rule, is very burdensome for a woman.

A completely different type of cheating occurs when a woman is looking for a new boyfriend or lover because she cannot satisfy her craving for a luxurious life with you. She dreams of being thrown with flowers and taken to Paris for a weekend, and you give her a stunted rose on weekends and the maximum you can offer is a trip to her grandmother's dacha.

At the same time, she can really love you, but .. She likes Paris more. And there's nothing you can do about it.

Sometimes a woman cheats because she wants to take revenge on you. Perhaps you cheated on her and she harbored a grudge. Or maybe you just aren't giving her the attention she thinks she deserves. As a result, the woman cheated.

· But most often women cheat because you cannot or do not want to satisfy her sexually. Have you ever tried to talk to your woman about this topic? What do you even know about her sexual preferences and fantasies?

Many men would be quite surprised if they knew how much their girlfriends think about sex, where and how they would prefer to do it, and what turns them on. Men do not even think about why a woman herself never approaches them with these proposals. But it is very difficult for her to cross the invisible border and open up. Some husbands don't even think about whether their wife actually had an orgasm or was just faking it.

In general, if you recognize yourself in this paragraph, it's time for you to think.

Why did a woman cheat on a man

How we got used to the idea that infidelity is the lot of men, and a married woman does not need outside connections. Many psychologists confidently say that women are cheating for two reasons. First, she fell in love. Second, she wants her husband to be jealous. It is strange that women themselves cannot sometimes clearly answer the question of why their wives are cheating.

Anonymous questionnaires, as a rule, do not give clear, and most importantly, correct results. Following the answers from this type of survey, both married women and married men, many experts can conclude that men cheat more often. During their family life, about 7-9 novels happen. Women in their anonymous profiles note that during their life together with her husband, 1-3 side novels happen.

But who said that polling, albeit anonymous, is a way to find out the truth? Interesting research was carried out in England, using ultra-precise and sensitive equipment. They were able to reveal that every ninth child does not belong to a woman's legal husband. As it turned out later, more than half of these casual relationships took place during ovulation.

In these few days, the attraction of lovely ladies reaches its climax. So nature intended, probably so that the human race does not die out. And no one clarified to her what it would be advisable for the attraction to extend only to her husband. And some scientists argue that women have the "infidelity gene." And it is during the period of ovulation that it is activated. Well, it's kind of like when alcoholics claim they have the vicious gene for alcoholism.

Why married women cheat

I also want to cite the results of a study by one scientist, which seemed amazing to me. About five years ago, this scientist decided to investigate whether it is true that the microflora of the genital organs of married women is much healthier than the flora of unmarried women. He also carried out his research on supersensitive equipment, which helped him to find, in the genitals of every fourth examined, in addition to her husband's spermatozoa, "foreign" spermatozoa with a longer period.

The equipment made it possible to determine the ingress of "foreign" spermatozoa a hundred days before the experiment, with great accuracy, up to 2-3 days. Again, these hits occurred during ovulation. A fourth of the women under study, "foreign" spermatozoa, had two or three varieties. In general, in addition to her husband, she came into close contact with several other men.

Unfortunately, what we are very interested in, namely, the intra-family relations of spouses, are not described in these experiments.

So what does it do? We, women, regardless of our relationship with our spouse, can we calmly "ventilate" on the side? And just because we are ovulating? Probably every woman is her own controller. And I believe that even a strong arousal state can be controlled, be it ovulation, or alcohol intoxication, if love reigns in your family.

A completely natural question: why do women cheat, if a happy married woman, enter into a dubious relationship on the side, and even more so, start an affair? This means that not everything is going smoothly in the family.

Moreover, we know our abilities, right? And since we know that on the days of ovulation we are looking for a mate like wild ostriches, so why not sit at home and find pleasure where it should be - in a husband? If this does not happen, then something is wrong with the husband. I do not mean impotence, but an emotional connection with him. And if you have ever had sexual intercourse on the side, answer yourself, was it when the storm reigned in the house? Many patients at psychotherapists' appointments say that they have a strong desire to bend to bed with another man when her husband greatly offends her.

Emotional wounds do not heal quickly. It is during this painful period that a woman can commit adultery, after which she will greatly repent. But the next time, when her husband allows her to offend her again, he will repeat the “hike to the left” again ... A woman always strives for a family. Nature created her as the keeper of the hearth. And this instinct comes over the years to any representative of the fair sex. Therefore, whether it be ovulation, or menstruation, she will definitely be near her husband if he loves and appreciates her.

Why women cheat on their husbands

Sex in marriage fades over the years. A couple, having enjoyed each other, enters into an intimate relationship with each other quite rarely. Our body, together with the mind, cools down and lives in harmony. Of course, having fallen into the hands of something new, the sexual potential increases, but not for long.

Also, over time, having amused itself with a new individual, the body will say: this is enough, thanks. This means that it is impossible to spend your whole life in active sexuality (although there are exceptions to the rules). And it's okay for a couple to not make love eight times a day like they did in their first year of marriage. And the fact that such a relationship occurs rarely cannot be the reason for treason.

I believe that there is still no such physical or physiological indication for infidelity. All cheating occurs first in the head. It may be a long-forgotten offense, or it may be fresh. This is some kind of misunderstanding, or complete rejection by the spouse. It can be her husband's betrayal, which belongs to the section - resentment. Someone even thinks that if my husband has cheated, then I should cheat on him too. That everyone was even.

But, answering evil for evil, you get in the equation - evil. I don't know how you can forgive an unfaithful husband, but everyone decides for herself. Some people forgive, some don't. And yet, sinking to the bar below, only to take revenge, is a blow to oneself. Still, if we do have sex, it’s only for pleasure, not for revenge.

Will you then feel proud and confident? I think no. And the pain in my soul will not diminish.

Summing up, I want to say to jealous men: if you are afraid of your wife's betrayal, then love her and let her see it. Indeed, sometimes love lives so quietly next to us, then we do not notice it. And you need to show it to your soul mate more often. A beloved and loving woman has no need to look for someone. Well, there is simply no need.

How to know if a woman is cheating

Yes, it happens that women are unfaithful to their husbands. And her betrayal is much more serious than that of a man, because if a woman has already decided to change, then with a 50% probability she will leave her husband and leave the family. But how do you know if a woman is cheating?

Psychologists believe that there are certain types of women whose cheating is very likely. These are girls and women who were very spoiled by parental love, who, on the contrary, lacked parental attention. Women careerists and women in constant search. As you can see, there are a lot of such types and it is far from a fact. That your wife will turn out to be an exemplary wife and mother.

Pay attention to if she mentions the name of a man too often in her conversations. Due to her emotionality, a woman cannot always restrain her emotions, and if she flies from her tongue every now and then: Petya said or Sasha did, then you should think about it. It is not a fact that the betrayal has already occurred, but such an enthusiastic attitude can be very fertile ground for her.

If your wife has begun to pay increased attention to her own appearance. No, it is clear that women are already paying a lot of attention to her. But here we are talking about an even more elevated one. She tries to change her hairstyle or style of clothing, constantly asks you how she looks, perhaps, she is starting to look very young. This all suggests that she has an object for seduction, and this object, alas, is most likely not you. Most likely, while this is being done without far-reaching plans and even at a subconscious level. However, be vigilant.

Your wife has begun to go to the shops more and more often, then to her friend's birthday, or visit her sick aunt. Traffic congestion has become a real nightmare for your family, and buses and trams, including the metro, are in a deep crisis? And all this mysteriously began to happen after meeting this mysterious Petya? It seems that your woman is cheating and you will soon have horns.

To find out, to find out that a woman is cheating, pay attention to her behavior in bed. If you notice obvious changes in him, for example, does she constantly push you away, or, on the contrary, has begun to show truly delightful sexuality, which has not been observed before? This probably means that something has changed in her sex life, and, apparently, you have nothing to do with it. It looks like you need to get serious about it.

What is treason? The dictionary interprets the word as betrayal, treachery, violation of loyalty. In life, everyone means by betrayal their own: falling in love with another, the very fact of closeness, or both together. What does the research say? What are the reasons for infidelity and what are they really?

We will try to avoid primitive generalizations, they say, the point is the polygamy of men or the pathological perfidy of women. People are different, they change a lot during life. According to the portal superJob.ru, which surveyed 4,200 Russians, 23% of married people commit adultery, but the number of men (28%) exceeds the number of women (17%).

"You are my ideal!"

In his youth, the ideal of a man is slowly "molded" in the subconscious. When it matches the appearance of the person met, a feeling flares up. "Drunkenness" from meetings, enthusiastic epithets - about such a vision the people aptly put it: "Not nice for good, but good for good". Lovers do not notice each other's shortcomings (do they exist at all?), Their eyes are "bribed".

Naive girls often have a consumer perception of love as a feeling falling from heaven, of an endless candy-bouquet period that carries only positive emotions, and they see their soul mate as the source of all these pleasures. When she “blows away” from falling in love, the girl simply does not notice that the hero of the novel does not have a prestigious education, earns a little, smokes, lives in a communal apartment ...

Two met. Despite the feelings, these are two people with different habits, stereotypes, ideas about everything: about the style of behavior, about raising children, about spending money, about spending free time, even with different culinary preferences. Everyone has their own life experience, sometimes a different social environment.

First disillusionment

Living together quickly makes adjustments to beautiful dreams. It turns out that he sometimes smells of sweat, he hangs for hours on his favorite sites, stingy with compliments and has excessive appetites in bed. Lapping, conflicts - there is no trace of the euphoria of falling in love.

The statistics are as follows: falling in love fades out in a year, maximum - in two. Monotonous everyday life sets in, dissatisfaction and dissatisfaction accumulate. The girl concentrates on the negative, the hero easily turns into an antihero, and love slowly turns into hate.

The person has not changed, but the portrait is drawn differently, often the opposite: the look at him has changed, it has become not only objective - harsh and unkind, unforgiving. Part of the reason for this frustration is the girl herself. Therefore, this view can be changed, there would be a desire. But few people dare to look for the reason in themselves.

Falling in love out of boredom

The soul is waiting again, and a new hero will not be slow to appear. 9% of women and 4% of men explain the reason for infidelity by falling in love. Again - an explosion of serotonin in the blood, an alluring unknown, the idealization of his "knight". It happens even more often after 40 years (32%): a partner resembles a book he has read, his thoughts and actions are foreseen, and it seems that there is a long and monotonous life ahead.

It is because of the search for new sensations that 14% of men and 8% of women change, add those who cite boredom as the reason: 6% of women and 4% of men. Well, get variety - a burdensome showdown, recriminations, stress, alienation, divorce.

How can a dear, feeling, thinking, changing person get bored, pray tell? Even if there are alarming symptoms, is it really impossible to discuss the problem, to fix something? But we must look for ways together, and not look for someone else on the side!

The new cycle of falling in love will end just as quickly, because globally nothing has changed. Disappointment will come inexorably when rose-colored glasses are replaced by dark ones. Falling in love is based on illusions, it is blind, therefore fragile, short-lived.

At the heart of love is a deep knowledge of a person with all his pluses and minuses, his understanding and acceptance as a whole, an altruistic desire for good and happiness for a partner. Love that sees, is based on wisdom and altruism, can last indefinitely; after all, this is a system capable of renewal and development.

Not knowing how to be happy is one of the real reasons for infidelity. In many outwardly prosperous families, the degree of relationships ranges from coolness to thaw, but the observance of decency, joint property and common children force the "actors" to play their "roles" to the end.

In some "cells of society" conflicts are at different stages of development - from rudeness on minor occasions to permanent cold war. Due to problems in the family - inattention to the spouse, children, scandals and hassles - 10% of the surveyed females changed.

Satisfy your partner's desires

The second most important reason for marital infidelity is the dissatisfaction with the quantity or quality of sex (11% of men, 6% of women). Sometimes the problem turns out to be serious, the consequences of psychological trauma require contacting a specialist. More often the reasons are commonplace: selfishness, laziness, unwillingness to please others.

Why not let your kinesthetic partner lovingly cuddle you once more, why not flaunt in sexy outfits in front of the visual, whisper something frank to the audience? Why not give in to the offer of intimacy when it costs you nothing?

A state of sexual satisfaction, a feeling of gratitude for altruism in bed is the best prevention of cheating. But some people avoid even talking about these topics!

Trust is the best prevention of cheating

One of the global reasons for betrayal is underestimation of dialogue, inability to communicate, distrust of a partner. Three types of thinking and behavior can be distinguished, respectively, three ways of conducting a dialogue. They are rare in their pure form.

1. "Materialist-deviationist." He does not know how to be sincere, avoids conversations, does not recognize communication as a value. As a rule, this is a good owner and worker, an adherent of the values ​​of material culture. He is egocentric, patient, inclined to simplify the picture of the world, to its static nature; ignores controversy and adapts to division. This type is formed in conflict families.
2. The monistic type is highly dependent on stereotypes. He has a fad - to put other values ​​above the person who lives nearby. It can be cleanliness and order, earnings, health, beauty, harmony, relationships with parents. The type is difficult to influence from the outside and change. Not critical enough, stubborn, does not seek a way out of the impasse, reproduces a split. This type of thinking is formed in families with authoritarian parents.
3. The dualistic type recognizes others as equal, is in constant open dialogue with a partner, does not depend on stereotypes, recognizes contradictions, but overcomes them, is inclined to development, non-conflict and positive. This type is formed in democratic families.

If the carrier of the third type is able to get along with representatives of the first or second, then the first and the second will hardly get along with each other. Carriers of the third type eliminate the very reasons for betrayal, the role of such a person is not easy, but he is a true creator of harmonious relationships.

Sometimes it takes years to teach the sincerity of the silent, it requires incredible patience. When both evolve to this type, the family will not disintegrate and will become a source of warmth for others.

Which partners are cheated more often?

The emotional reactions of men to the Fall are very different, depending on the psychotype. Let's consider them in more detail.

1. The owner, the family for him is a super value. Reacts painfully to the infringement of his right to his wife. His property must be perfect. Differs in maximalism, rigidity and even cruelty. A jealous person is ready to consider flirtation with a stranger to be treason, suspicious, does not forgive innocent flirting and even more infidelity, she is synonymous with the collapse of life. Strengthening a woman, they involuntarily provoke thoughts about freedom and another potential partner.
2. Polygamous type. He is easy on sex for one night, often changes partners, does not bother with the problem of cheating, does not burden himself with permanent relationships, or leads a double life. Sometimes he keeps track of his victories, arranges a bet on seduction.
3. Loving altruist. The happiness of his beloved is more important to him than his own. The "sensors" of his psyche are tuned to her - he feels, fulfills desires, builds trusting and loving relationships. If a friend falls in love, which rarely happens, he suffers, but is ready to let go for the sake of her happiness.

Of course, these are extremes, most real men combine the features of these types. As you can see, women are more likely to cheat on the first two types of men.

The pendulum of the mistress and the slave

Psychologist Oleg Satov proposed a tough, but very similar to the truth, theory of betrayal. A woman, as a tradition has developed, extinguishes her internal anxieties with the help of a man. The wife is driven by the need to assert herself through her husband. This manifests itself in two opposite tendencies: to exalt, to be proud - and to rule, suppress.

Having received a leader, winner, lover, commander, a woman begins to subjugate him, remake him into a follower, a performer of desires, an employee. A man's refusal to play such a role leads to the search for a new partner with whom the cycle will repeat.

The pendulum swings: having subdued the man, the woman loses support for her own pride and is forced to look for a new hero. Suffering will continue until the person gives up the "game", from claims to everything "in one bottle." You can go beyond the program by choosing love.

We do a lot of cleaning our homes. But "brain hygiene", relationships - a time consuming process, but just as necessary. The result will exceed expectations, the game is worth the candle.

personallife.ru

Why women cheat: 15 reasons

Psychologists believe that it is common for people to repeat their parents' behavior patterns. Therefore, what is there to be surprised at: if a child constantly observed the adultery of his mother or father, then he may well consider the betrayal as an adequate action.

According to numerous social polls, a woman who initiates sex in marriage is more likely to cheat. This is especially true for women over 40. Such women are accustomed to taking the initiative, and will not wait for the first step from a man, but will take it themselves.

A fairly common reason for cheating is a bad example set by a woman's friend. A friend can cheat on her husband, and then share her impressions, talk about her feelings. Often a woman begins to cheat, just for the company, wanting to know if this is so good, as her friend says.

A woman who is unhappy in marriage often begins to cheat, trying to find an island of happiness and carelessness for herself. If her husband is cheating on her, is rude, drinks, does not show due attention, she begins to justify her betrayal. After all, it is quite possible to compensate for dissatisfaction with your marriage by adultery.

Women who are given the leading role in family relationships have a good chance of cheating. As a rule, such women are proactive, in contrast to those who obey their husbands in everything. In addition, women who are heads of households are much more self-confident.

If a man loves his wife too much, he feels a strong dependence on his partner, so it is unlikely that he will look for entertainment on the side. But a woman, feeling that she can get away with everything, and knowing full well that a man is dependent on her, may well take the side.

Sexologists argue that the richer a woman had a sexual experience before marriage, the higher the likelihood that she will cheat in marriage. By the way, this can also explain the increased number of female infidelities in modern times, since most women have active sexual relations before marriage.

According to the studies conducted, it was found that women who are superior in education to their husbands are more likely to cheat on them, and often have a large number of sexual partners. Especially the connection between education and betrayal can be traced among women in adulthood.

Sometimes, when a woman is going through a difficult period in her life, she begins to change in order to distract herself a little and embellish her dull existence. In this situation, it is desirable for the husband to grasp that his wife is in crisis and provide her with support, otherwise the woman will find her on the side.

If a husband or wife on duty often go on business trips, work in an irregular mode, or the work of the spouses falls on different shifts, the likelihood of betrayal is not excluded. In addition, it happens that a husband and wife spend a lot of time away from each other, lead separate lives. In this case, the likelihood of adultery increases by another 20%.

If a woman feels dissatisfaction after having sex with her husband, or the spouses' sex life has been reduced to a minimum, she may well find herself a lover to meet her needs on the side. Therefore, men, pay more attention to your halves.

Often, an old friendship between a woman and a man can develop into true love, because friends feel emotional attachment and unity of interests. According to statistics, about 80% of the women surveyed confirmed that they found their love with men who were originally friends for them.

Many women decide to cheat simply because they have a chance to commit it. Thus, it turns out that even a married woman is not difficult to seduce. It all depends on the situation.

At work, women have far more opportunities to commit adultery than housewives. In addition, the office is a great opportunity for this, because there are many attractive men, and the atmosphere is favorable. Of course, this does not mean that all working women are unfaithful to their husbands. It just goes to show that it is much easier for a working woman to find a lover when she has problems in her family.

In a big city, women also have many opportunities to commit adultery. It is very convenient to start romances in large cities where few people know each other. It is much easier to hide a love affair in a large metropolis than in a small town where everyone is aware of everything.

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www.neboleem.net

10 amazing things happen in a woman's life after 40 years

For you, whether you are a man and you are interested to know about it; or you are a woman under 40 years old: Know that it's great to be 40 years old! If you are a woman and you are 40 or over: discover your potential!

40 years of age may seem frightening for a woman 30, 35. When two or three years are not enough until 40, a woman begins to understand that reaching 40 is inevitable. But when 40 comes, finally, she is surprised: "So it's not scary, on the contrary, I feel great!"

Taking some unpleasant little things, when you reach the age of 40, you realize - this is the age of big changes. Delightful changes!

Want to know what these changes are? See below:

Losing weight is hard work.

You know those 4 kg. which at 20 years old a smiling woman loses in a month? At 40, the same kilograms, a woman can lose in 4 months, thanks to a slowdown in metabolism. In addition, gaining weight is ridiculously simple: 100 additional calories per day are enough and 9-10 kilograms are provided at the end of the year.

The way out is physical exercise, but, not only to maintain health, but also to strengthen self-esteem.

Acne at 40?

This is another unwanted little surprise. Many women who did not have acne in their teens may have it at this age. These acne are associated with hormones. Hormonal changes and the onset of menopause contribute to their appearance.

40 years old, this is only chronological age

Today's 40-year-old woman can easily be mistaken for a 30-year-old woman. Only those who are 40 years old know definitely that they do not feel these 40 years!

When we see pictures of our mothers and grandmothers in their 40s, we are impressed by how similar they are to their 40s, things that don't happen to us.

Uncertainty? What is it?

This is a wonderful thing that happens at the age of 40. Do you remember the insecurity you felt at 20? It disappears or decreases significantly. And look, we have much more reason to be insecure and feel unsafe now, because the body is not the same.

Weight, sagging, varicose veins and other issues that are only talked about among girls, now we talk quite naturally with any 40-year-old man.

Jealousy? This feeling is without logic!

At the age of 40, we find that jealousy is meaningless. There is no point in deeply worrying, there is no point in sulking at women looking at our husbands. There is no point in taking offense at your husband when he is being persecuted by another woman. We learn that this kind of thing destroys relationships. And if a husband is cheating on a 20-year-old, then in this case, he is also a loser. And we do not have the slightest doubt about that.

The dream becomes an integral part of life

Many people nourish and hide their dream, all their lives, others begin to awaken spiritually at the onset of 40 years of age. A woman in her 40s does not want to live just to live. She wants to make the right choice and think about the eternal consequences of her actions.

Quality, not quantity

A 40-year-old woman stands for quality in many ways. She does not collect jeans collections, she wants quality clothes, albeit not enough. She hardly prefers beautiful shoes to more comfortable ones than catching thousands of glances at her feet. And so it is with most choices.

Your mother was right

At 40, a woman realizes that her mother was absolutely right. She is also a mother and can understand her mother more completely. When it comes to the misbehavior of her children, she cries and recalls the times when her mother was also worried about it. All this contributes to being the strong, empathetic and understanding woman that she has become.

Forgiving and Apologizing Are Essential to Your Well-Being Forgives more easily and apologizes without reservation. She knows how such a relationship is very important to happiness. She knows that a good relationship is more important than being right.

She feels more attractive at 40

It seems very odd to hear women say they feel more attractive at 40 than they used to. But this has an explanation. Despite the extra pounds, varicose veins, and everything that happens at 40, self-confidence makes all the difference. She no longer has the same feelings that she had at 20. And this deeply affects family intimacy.

A woman in her 40s knows her strengths and makes them overshadow their weaknesses. She doesn't play children's games because she knows exactly what she wants. A 40-year-old woman knows how to approach her husband and how to give him her love.

You 40-year-old women who do not yet know what power you have in your hands: You have no idea how attractive you can be, regardless of their physical characteristics. You have years of experience, you know what works and what doesn't work in marriage and life. You shouldn't waste your time playing children's games. You already know what you want.

Focus on it and live! Be a happy and contented woman in your marriage. You know how to achieve this. Be a WOMAN and not only a wife to your husband. Radiate femininity, seduce him and be seduced by him yourself.

If you are single or divorced, never despair. Lower your standards to please any man. Find the man who is ready to put the ring on your finger. Find a real man who will only be yours and should not, in this case, destroy another family in order to stay with you.

A 40-year-old woman, worth two 20-year-olds. Like this! And many men know this, and they like it!

wiolife.ru

Why women cheat: 6 main reasons

Betrayal of a partner, like any other event in life, has a cause and effect. It is not easy to understand why a woman begins to cheat. Girls are not straightforward, and it is sometimes difficult to find a motive for their actions. Anger, resentment, hatred, annoyance are the feelings that men experience when they learn about cheating, but they cannot understand the reasons why women are cheating. Meanwhile, it is always and most often lies on the surface.

Routine

The couple have been together for a long time. The candy-bouquet period ended a long time ago, a pound of salt was eaten together and Mendelssohn's march was sung. A series of ordinary days followed. “Home - work - home” - millions of families live according to this scheme. However, a man is inherently socially oriented. Society gives a man a feeling of variety and freshness (he chatted in the smoking room, went to a meeting, negotiated with a new customer, drank beer with friends after work, went to football). A woman is usually fully emotionally involved in family and relationships.

You no longer commit romantic acts, stop making gifts and even prefer to engage in intimacy under the covers in 5 minutes

She has a feeling that life is passing by. Somewhere out there they go on a date, fall in love, kiss, have fun and relax. She has today, everything is the same as yesterday and the day before yesterday. The joylessness of gray everyday life makes the wife look for a holiday, a splash, new emotions.

Indifference of a man

One of the reasons why women cheat on men is their husband's indifference. She tries her best for him. She mastered the preparation of his favorite Italian dishes and began to learn French, runs in the morning with him and spent a vacation with her mother-in-law. A man takes all efforts for granted. As a result, without receiving any emotional response, the girl falls into complete indifference or begins to look for this emotional response on the side.

The need for approval is very strong. Every lady needs someone who will praise her pies and offer help in the garden, who will ask how she feels and will lend a shoulder after a hard day's work, in moments of sadness.

Dissatisfaction

Dissatisfaction rarely occurs early in a relationship. More often it appears over time. The reason for its appearance:

• physiological;
• psychological incompatibility.

It is believed that sex is more important for men than for women, but in reality it is not.

There may be tiredness from the monotony, sex is becoming more rare and not as vivid as before. There may be a hormonal surge that has generated a desire stronger than the partner is able to satisfy.

Dissatisfaction is one of the main reasons why women over 40 are cheating. The notorious midlife crisis affects not only men. Women are also subject to it. After analyzing her own achievements and dreams, a woman suddenly comes to the conclusion that she has not tried this yet, but she has never experienced it and, in general, sex life is about to sink into oblivion. Not always a lady immediately goes to all the trouble. More often than not, she will first try to somehow stir up her permanent partner. But if she does not succeed, then she is practically forced to look for someone else.

Dissatisfaction goes hand in hand with male indifference. Having put on a new set of underwear, a woman expects that the man will notice this, and not with the aim of finding out how much it costs and where she took the money, but with the goal of removing this underwear from her as soon as possible. Indifference in these moments is extremely dangerous. Few things offend a woman so much as inattention to her sexual desires.

Groundless jealousy

Only the most morally stable girls are capable of living long under the label of a harlot and not falling into this very fornication. A man who has been jealous for a long time and reproaches a woman for no reason himself pushes her into the arms of a comforter. Falling into jealousy, the man gives the lady a signal - I'm not sure of you, and I'm not sure of myself either. The girl begins to think - he does not trust me, he thinks that I can meet someone more attractive than him. And he begins to look around, and suddenly, and the truth, there is someone better. A healthy relationship is impossible without trust.

There are such pathological jealous people who are jealous of their beloved for every pillar.

If the baseless jealousy is also obsessive, the girl falls into a trap. I love him, but it is unbearable to endure.

A woman can be held next to a jealous person:

• children;
• fear of loneliness;
• material difficulties.

Unable to break off the relationship, she begins to look for a savior or at least a comforter.

Revenge

It is by no means an uncommon reason for betrayal. Women are very vindictive by nature. The first desire of a wife who finds out about her husband's betrayal will often be the desire for revenge. The lady will do it demonstratively, or she will definitely try to make the partner know. This does not add health to relationships and self-esteem, while the woman continues to be unhappy.

Marriage problems

Problems in marriage are a matter of everyday life. They are always there. If it seems that they are not, then they are simply hidden, and you need to look again. The only question is how the couple cope with them.

Constant quarrels and misunderstandings can also cause a woman to cheat.

They can be conditionally divided into categories:

• material difficulties;
• personal growth problems;
• intra-family problems (conflict relations with relatives, difficulties with raising children, bad habits).

Material difficulties are known to every family. Money conflicts are very common. They lead to:

• constructive - the search for new sources of income, the development of the skill of saving, the rational use of resources;
• destructive - resentment, accumulation of irritation, fatigue and anger at a partner.

A girl, finding herself in cramped circumstances, can look for an outlet. Porridge at home, last tights and no joy in life. A lover, according to such ladies, will bring attention, gifts and the illusion that life is a continuous holiday. This does not solve material problems; problems with mutual respect are also added to them.

Personal growth problems pass gently if both partners strive to match each other's level. The husband received a second diploma - the wife learned Italian, the wife got a promotion - the husband found a better paid job, the husband went in for sports - the wife became interested in healthy eating. We are not talking about competition - who will jump higher. It is about the harmonious development of a person in paired relationships. Difficulties arise when one of the partners is developing, and the other is not, and has no desire to do so. It doesn't matter who has gone far ahead in their development. The outcome is always sad. The couple breaks up or one of the spouses begins to lead a double life.

Family conflicts can destroy the strongest relationships. Young people often make the mistake of thinking that healthy relationships with family members are not necessary. For example, girls often say - I can't live with his mother. Men, in turn, often ignore the fact that the wife is close to her mother. Day after day, such a conflict destroys all parties to the conflict. Indifference comes. A man is looking for a way out of emotions, usually at work, hunting, fishing. A woman, not getting what she wants and having lost her emotional warmth, falls into self-pity.

Bad habits of one of the spouses lead to degradation of personality and degradation of relations. This is the main reason why women cheat on their loved ones. The girl's position is a savior: "I love him so much, he is so unhappy, but I cannot leave him, he will die without me." Position two: "He is a tyrant, tormentor, alcoholic, but I love him." At the same time, the girl finds herself a healthy normal man who will support her, love, take care of her, without demanding anything in return. She will love her husband, cheat on him, but she will not be able to quit.

mensup.ru

5 changes in a woman's body after 40 years, which you cannot avoid

In the Middle Ages, if anyone has forgotten from the school curriculum, the age closer to forty was considered already the age of maturity. The average life span was plus or minus thirty years. But since then a lot of water has flowed under the bridge, medicine has stepped far forward, and changing the fourth dozen now does not seem like something supernatural to anyone.

Moreover, a few years ago, the World Health Organization officially revised age norms - youth, according to doctors, now lasts up to 44 years!

However, all this does not change the laws of nature. And they say that closer to forty, the female body begins a rapid restructuring. You probably know about stubbornly gaining pounds and painful sex (due to dryness in a certain place). But what other changes occur in the body after 39?

HAIR LOSS IS A COMMON Phenomenon

Hair becomes thinner with age, and this is especially noticeable after forty. Why it happens? Due to perimenopause, or the premenopausal period, which usually starts from these years, and in some cases even earlier.

And hair falls out everywhere. This, to be honest, is to some extent even a plus, it is not necessary, for example, to shave your legs so often. Hair also becomes thin in an intimate place. Is it good or bad? You decide.

In any case, modern science offers many ways to stop scalp hair loss. If you are worried about other places, calm down. Hair loss is a long and gradual process. It begins several years before menopause and gradually progresses.

CHANGES COULD AFFECT THE BRAIN

You seem to remember some event, but still somehow vague. It can be difficult for you to keep all the plans for the day in mind. And by the way, what was the name of that actress from your favorite TV series? Just about, spinning on the tongue ...

This is not just a normal aging process, it is a normal aging process for women. We have estrogen receptors in two areas of the brain responsible for memory. And the less estrogen remains in the female body, the more structural changes occur in these areas of the brain. The first area is the hippocampus, the memory center in our brain. And the second is the prefrontal cortex of the brain, which is responsible for organizing information so that it is better remembered.

Estrogen also increases levels of acetylcholine, a neurotransmitter that allows new memories to be formed.

What can you do about it? The good news is that your forgetfulness is temporary. The brain is able to compensate for the effects of menopause; it simply adjusts to low estrogen levels. You may decide to survive the acute period with estrogen therapy, but is it worth it? The activity in the hippocampus, of course, increases with this therapy, but temporary memory problems are not a good enough reason for hormone therapy.

THE MENSTRUAL CYCLE BECOMES NON-PERMANENT

It would be nice if the amount of estrogen decreased gradually, but unfortunately this is a very unpredictable process. After perimenopause begins, the ovaries may produce different amounts of estrogen each month. From this, the menstrual cycle becomes unstable - 25 days, 26, 28. Sometimes the difference is even more significant. Your periods can be very heavy and you may not even notice them next time. In a word, chaos.

If this irregularity annoys you, seek medical attention. The situation can be corrected with hormonal contraception.

You will also love - I am a hormone expert. And this is what I say to those who want to lose weight

YOU CANNOT COMPLETELY CONTROL YOUR BLADDER

Incontinence problems can also be experienced in their forties. Due to the decrease in estrogen levels, the muscles of the bladder and the muscles that support the urethra weaken, which can lead to leaks.

Fortunately, there are different ways to deal with incontinence. They are effective both in stressful situations (leaking during exercise or laughing) and in case of harsh urge to urinate (when you don't have time to reach the toilet).

Urinary tract infections occur more often

Low estrogen makes lower-waist problems common, with urinary tract infections more common due to decreased estrogen levels after menopause. After all, it performs a protective function, inhibiting the activity of pathogenic bacteria. 60-70% of all women after menopause face the problem of frequent infections.

Experts recommend using an estrogen cream. Topical application is not as dangerous as full-fledged hormone therapy - at a low dosage, only a small amount of estrogen enters the bloodstream. Your doctor will help you determine the minimum dosage so that estrogen will not affect your entire body. When applied topically, it will help restore the normal function of the urinary system, reducing the risk of infections.

BETWEEN

Until now, it was believed that the peak of women's sexual activity occurs at some age of 30, and some at 45. About the latter, a saying was even born “At forty-five - a woman has a berry again”. However, either time makes its own adjustments, or every year experiments and their analysis are carried out more accurately, but the “age of the peak” turned out to be completely different for women.

Women who are in their 40s have the best results, according to a new study. And, of course, the experts were extremely surprised that the girls who have the most favorable reproductive age - about 25 years old - turned out to be the least active sexually. Researchers believe that this is due to the so-called biological clock: at the age of 40, a woman realizes that she has less and less time to conceive a child, and therefore begins to behave more actively, they become more relaxed and ready for more frequent sexual intercourse.

snianna.ru

there are 3 good reasons for this

It is generally accepted that cheating is basically the privilege of the stronger sex. However, this is not true. Many anonymous polls and social studies have shown that the fair sex is only 5 percent behind. The statistics are that 55% of men and about 45% of women go “on the sidelines” while in a serious relationship or in marriage. But if men, as they say, are polygamous by nature, then what are the ladies guided by? There are at least three reasons for female infidelity, which we will talk about today.

1. Cheat to break up

If a woman goes for treason, first of all, the current relationship has tired her with something. She needs an emotional and physical respite. Often a lady decides to cheat even before she realizes that she wants to get out of this relationship. Women are scared to go "into the void" and ashamed to leave their constant partner out of the blue, so they come up with this betrayal as an excuse to cut the Gordian knot. We can say that in this way they try themselves before the final separation, to make sure that they can still be attractive to men. By the way, it is far from the fact that after parting she will remain with her lover. This happens only in every third case. Basically, after a divorce, a woman abandons her lover to start a completely new life.

2. Change to improve self-esteem

One of the main reasons for female infidelity is the desire to raise self-esteem. A woman longs to be recognized, desired and appreciated. Most likely, the current partner underestimates her, does not satisfy her needs, or simply looks at her as if she were a piece of furniture (unfortunately, this happens in long-term relationships). Quite often, a trip to the left is preceded by a period when her sexuality “dozed off” - for example, maternity leave, or a protracted personality crisis. Women’s age can also be a reason for cheating on self-esteem. In the period from 40 to 50 years old, a lady can have an affair in order to continue to feel attractive and desirable, and most importantly, alive.

3. Treason just for your own satisfaction

If in her real relationship a woman is not emotionally happy or not sexually satisfied, and suddenly she meets a man who at least temporarily can give it to her, she will commit adultery without a twinge of conscience, even at the risk of losing what she has. People always strive for circumstances where they feel good. Therefore, if a case has turned up to “fly in the clouds” on the wings of a new, albeit short-lived, love, a woman will not miss a “tidbit” occasion. Such relationships usually do not last even three years, but 10% of them are generally random and last no more than a day.

Earlier Fishki.cc already wrote about why men cheat. Love each other and do not let betrayals in your nest!

fishki.cc

Psychology of women after 45 years: life between the past and the future

The age of 45 - 50 years psychologists call the period of maturity, a difficult and difficult time for a woman. A lot of problems have to be solved during this difficult period of life. It is no coincidence that it is called the crisis of maturity. A woman lives in anticipation of the autumn of life, which she does not want to think about. But her breathing and her footsteps are becoming more distinct. So how does the maturity stage in women go? How do they manage to overcome all its difficulties and problems, of which there are a great many

Spatial changes

A woman always remains a mother, but there comes a time when this role needs to be qualitatively changed. Matured children no longer need mother's love and care. This means that more time is left for the role of mistress of the house. Do not think that this is boring and painful. The psychological space of the family during this period undergoes changes. The woman was and remains the keeper of the hearth. But by this time it is emptying: children are striving for freedom with all their might, they are ready for an independent life. They have their own lives and families. For a woman, this is a source of intense stress. New social roles that need to be mastered are falling like snow on their heads. Just yesterday, strangers entered the circle of close or distant, but relatives. You need to learn to build relationships with them. And here are the grandchildren. Already? Granny? Great! But what is it? Aging and wilting. And there is a serious problem of finding one's place in these new relationships, the acceptance of new social roles, which requires a lot of physical strength and mental energy. Where can I get them?

• Try to be creative in arranging your new (no children) nest;
• Learn to do all the housework rationally.

Physiological changes

The withering of a woman occurs gradually: the first bells appear after 40 years. Yesterday I ran in high heels, but today I already want to throw them off from fatigue and put on something more comfortable and reliable. Most recently, I could work all day, and spend the night with friends. And now, by the evening, fatigue is pouring in, and apathy sets in. Yes, the years make themselves felt. The process of transition from puberty to the extinction of sexual function is called the climacteric period. There are no clear time boundaries for the onset of menopause and the duration of its course: for some, it occurs earlier and lasts several years or even imperceptibly, while for others it is later and stretches for years.

There is a process of restructuring of the body that cannot be stopped: this is how the function of the ovaries weakens, and gradually the production of female sex hormones completely stops, the so-called hormonal storm and all its accompanying phenomena are triggered.

Lack of sex hormones causes all sorts of ailments. So a previously balanced woman becomes irritable and nervous. The character begins to change, pickyness to others appears, capriciousness, and even quarrelsomeness. The mood changes several times a day. Feelings of anxiety and fear overwhelm for no apparent reason. Insomnia is becoming common in a woman's life. She senses that something is wrong with her. Periodic flushes of blood to the face, a feeling of heat and profuse sweating cause a lot of inconvenience. And the increase in blood pressure makes her completely disabled and a regular patient of the clinic. The metabolic processes of the body are changing. Dysfunction of the thyroid gland leads to the risk of serious diseases: oncology, diabetes mellitus, atherosclerosis, and so on.

The first signals that their body is not well-being cause anxiety and a sense of hopelessness in women. The onset of old age cannot be stopped by any forces. And many humble themselves. But life goes on and it is important to maintain health at this stage of the transition. What to do?

• Be as attentive as possible to your well-being. At the first signs of ill health, consult a doctor, undergo the necessary diagnostics, act proactively in order to prevent the occurrence of serious diseases.
• Give up bad habits: smoking, drinking alcohol.
• Review your diet and eliminate foods that are harmful to health from your diet. Do not overeat: gaining extra pounds is easy, but no diet will help get rid of them.
• Physical activity plays an important role in a woman's life during this period of her life as never before. Don't let yourself get lazy. Find time and energy for sports and walking. Choose your physical activity wisely.
• Listen to your body and try not to harm it. At this stage of life, health is in your hands. The quality of life now and in the future depends on it.
• Be attentive to the needs of your body: allow yourself to be lazy, if your body wants it, if possible, organize a short nap.

External changes

During this period, a woman's appearance begins to change not for the better: the figure loses its harmony, fat is most often deposited in the abdomen and thighs. So the gait is losing its lightness. Facial features become less defined, a double chin and wrinkles appear. Reflection in the mirror is not encouraging. It's hard to accept your age. And she involuntarily stretches into the past, more and more often she remembers herself as twenty or thirty years old. This leaves an imprint on her image. Some women start to lead and dress like teenage girls, which looks ridiculous and ridiculous. This is due to the panic fear of their age and of the future. Age 45-50 is the time to work on the future: not to look for yourself in the past, but to dream, make plans and act now.

• Love yourself, your body and your face. Take time to take care of yourself. Find an opportunity to visit a beauty salon, listen to the advice of beauticians, master the techniques of applying makeup and facial care.
• Be stylish and sophisticated. Choose your clothes carefully: it should emphasize the merits, and not exaggerate the flaws. So youth clothing can rather emphasize age, but not in any way rejuvenate.

Maturity crisis and family relationships

Maturity crisis is associated with empty nest syndrome. The psychology of a woman is such that she is more attached to children, she has a stronger developed feeling of love for them, responsibility for preserving the family. Therefore, she is acutely worried about the departure of children. There is a feeling of emptiness, the meaning of life is lost. The family is undergoing change, and this has an impact on the marital relationship. Both man and woman during this period are going through difficult times, therefore mutual support and understanding of each other is so important. Nobody and nothing prevents now from reanimating dormant or already fading feelings and fostering mature love. And this requires tremendous effort and intelligence.

• The time of crazy passions is a thing of the past. Surround your husband with care and love.
• Chat, remember, dream and make plans. Communication in adulthood brings spouses closer together, revives love and creates spiritual intimacy.
• Become a therapist for your spouse. As you go through the problems of your age, you are better able than anyone to understand your spouse.
• Take care of your appearance, take care of yourself. The attractiveness of the wife is an important factor in maintaining sexual relations in the family.

But it is especially difficult to overcome the crisis of maturity by a woman whose meaning of life was only children. With their departure, complete loneliness sets in for her, which complicates the course of menopause. It should be understood that this is an interesting time in her life. She is now free from many responsibilities and can take care of herself, her health and start a new relationship. A mother's love for her children must be reborn into a friendship based on love and trust.

• Do not strive to connect your future life only with children. You have fulfilled your social mission: you have raised, educated and released them into adulthood. Give them the opportunity to become self-reliant and responsible.
• Analyze your life, think about your gains and losses. Remember what you dreamed about and what you failed to accomplish. Try to realize your unfulfilled dreams and plans.

It should also be noted that family relations during this period are undergoing a crisis. The number of divorces in people aged 45-50 is increasing dramatically. Marital relationships often don't stand the test of time. A woman, busy with her problems and worries, does not notice that her husband is trying to escape from the family. Cheating and subsequent divorce deal a colossal blow to a woman's physical and mental health. So life drives her to a standstill. The past is devalued, the present loses its meaning, there is no strength to think about the future. Psychological death sets in. But the woman will stand, time will help her to suffer everything. She will learn to cope with stress and be able to be reborn to a new life. She, a woman, is like a fabulous Phoenix bird, capable of being reborn from the ashes to a new life.

Maturity and sex in a woman's life

At all times and in all societies, sex was considered the lot of the young, but for mature people it shouldn't even think about it. To be a sexy man of any age is now accepted by society, but a middle-aged woman who shows sexual interest in the stronger sex is perceived as something indecent. Few men and women are well aware of the physiological aspects of sexuality and the patterns of sexual activity.

The peculiarity of female physiology is such that it takes years for the development of her sexuality. And only by the age of 35 - 40 - 45, a woman's sexuality flourishes. This is physiology, and the head dictates a different behavior: "Old, it's too late and indecent to think about it." But here a certain contradiction is revealed: the sexual function of a man dies out much earlier than that of women. This is where the problem of 45-year-old spouses looms. What to do if the husband pays less and less attention to the sexual aspect of the relationship, and is completely akin to the TV or computer? After all, if female sexuality was preserved in adulthood, if there is a need for sexual activity, then the rejection of it carries a danger to health. The woman herself should understand a lot. Having been married for 20 or even 30 years often extinguish feelings by themselves. The habit of seeing a wife unkempt, loose, eternally dissatisfied will not lead to the emergence of sexual desire, especially in adulthood.

So, a woman aged 45 - 50 will live an important stage in her life. With her mind and heart she stretches into the past (stop a moment), but the future is inevitably approaching. And right now you need to work on yourself in order to preserve youth and become a “berry again”.

This is an extremely dangerous period in the life of men - 40-50 years. At this age, they begin to take stock of life, sometimes they seem disappointing. Many conclude that existence has lost its meaning, and are trying to catch up. More often than not, men find salvation in a new attachment - the largest number of adultery occurs in middle age. Meanwhile, very few decide on a new marriage ...

The behavior of a married man after forty is dictated by a midlife crisis. Almost every family experienced it to one degree or another. More often, of course, the husband "makes a fool". Some even took a suitcase and left. True, for most of them this little suitcase was thrown out the door by an offended wife when she learned that a demon had knocked on her husband's rib. And in vain ...

When the demon knocks on the rib, the man never (at least at the beginning of the "spree") plans to leave his family. He is not looking for a new wife - he is looking for a new stimulus in life, new sexual sensations, a new emotional charge. Because for 15 - 25 years of married life (we are talking about an exemplary family man) passionate feelings for his wife have already dulled somewhat. And this is natural, although women do not want to agree with the obvious. We all want to believe that passionate love can last a lifetime. Alas ... Love-passion after a couple of years of family life is gradually transformed into a calmer feeling. Some say it’s a habit. No, not into a habit - into affection, into spiritual closeness, spiritual kinship. when both spouses are comfortable with each other (at least, it should be so ideally).

However, time passes, and after forty, an alarming "bell" is heard in the mind of a man. He feels that he is losing his sexual power. Actually, this is normal: the peak of sexual activity of the stronger sex falls on 30-33 years, and after 37-40 years its natural decline begins. But the man is scared: “A little bit more, and I'm an old man ?! But I haven’t lived yet - as they write in books, as they show in movies. Yes, it cannot be, I will prove what I am capable of. I need to find such a woman so that she can take me on! " And it starts all over the place. But at the same time, a man after forty years implies that the other woman is just a lover, because his legal wife does not suit him at all - as a faithful companion of life, a good housewife, a virtuous mother of his children.

The behavior of a married man dictates a spiritual surge, new sensations, he feels good. Do you know what he thinks at this time? Nobody knows anything. He is a good worker, a caring husband and father. And the most interesting thing is that during this period he can have the most wonderful relationship with his wife. He gives her gifts, kisses in the morning, leaving for work, kisses in the evening, returning from work on time, at night - great sex. He is on the rise, he has time for everything. Both there and here. Hurray, he is in good shape again - cheerful, strong, young! ..

However, one day someone knocks on his wife. And who does it most often? Mistress. What does she think? “The man is good, intelligent, since he meets me, it means that he does not love his wife. We must take him! ”... That's just the point, that he loves! It's just that he has such a critical period, well, like women have menopause ... If the infidelity had not been revealed, the conflict had not begun, believe me, everything in his family would have been normal. And after a year - one and a half, maximum two, this nonsense from the man's head would have left by itself. As they say, he ran and calmed down. Of course, an attentive wife can guess, feel that her husband has someone on the side, this can be easily determined by some signs. But, perhaps, it is better for her not to find out about this? .. Unfortunately, we were taught from childhood: better a bitter truth than a sweet lie. Is not it? We are accustomed to everything, including human attitudes, feelings, emotional throwbacks, to approach with cruel maximalist standards: black and white, right and wrong, good and bad. Faithful means he loves. Unfaithful means a traitor, a scoundrel. And there are no other options? ..

What are we women to do?

Everyone needs to be ready for this age of a man after forty years, because everyone is living it out. Only half of the "victims" will not know about it. I know examples when, after forty, women went on a spree, and this happened in beautiful, one might say, exemplary families. And in the same families, before my eyes, men quietly "fornicated", who until now were considered exemplary husbands. And it all ended over time. Of course, if the "kind person" did not report to his wife or husband.

Just don’t think that I’m making excuses for adultery and that you just have to give up on it. No, you can't get away from stress and family squabbles. But how do you do it? Let's think - what would the husband prefer if the wife found out about his adventures? So that they could arrange a disassembly behind a closed door, a scandal, even if they stuffed his face, but only not to wash dirty linen in public. For him to say: "Yes, I am guilty, I will no longer." Believe me, half of the families in a similar situation do so. And it really stops. But many women do things differently. And then they regret it.

There is an opinion that after the birth of a wife, if she wants to remain attractive to her husband, she should especially keep an eye on her figure, do fitness, wear erotic lingerie, and so on. Then the husband will not look at another. Nonsense. In fact, a woman should always take care of herself, out of respect for herself. But turning this into fanatism is unwise. The movie star Elina Bystritskaya also cheated on her husband after forty-five, and she's a beautiful woman. A man just wants other sensations, and neither a beautiful figure nor glamorous underwear will save him - he will go from this glamor to a simple woman. And not the fact that to a younger. He will go to another. Which one? And most often a man does not care, so, let's say, to a comfortable one: an accepting one, providing her apartment for meetings, which does not require much ... After all, a married man after forty cannot be forced to strain too much, to spend a lot of money. Often such women are "close at hand" at work. And, alas, today there are quite a few of them - lonely, unsettled, yearning for a man's affection, and therefore ready to be comfortable.

Cast out or forgive?

And here's the question: how can a wife post-drink if she found out about her husband's betrayal? Unfortunately, women, as a rule, begin to "break wood": they scandalize, go to their husband's work, to their mother, to their friends, go to sort it out to that woman ... And in this way they make the husband a fool, a scoundrel. And spin the wheel! .. The offended and offended wife shows the “traitor” at the door, sends him to live with her mother, gets to sleep on the cot, waits for him to crawl on her knees to ask for forgiveness ... Or herself goes to tear the hair of his mistress. As a result, due to the unreasonableness of the wife, the family falls apart. Yes, yes, as a rule, most often a marriage falls apart not because of the husband's infidelity, but because of the wife's misbehavior after the infidelity was discovered.

The first thing a woman should do in such a situation is to shut her mouth shut. The husband will then be very grateful for the wife's behavior. Yes, justice will prevail if he “doesn’t show enough,” but, as I already wrote, all emotions are in my apartment, behind a closed door. And for a start - to close your mouth for everyone: for neighbors, colleagues, girlfriends, family friends and even for your own parents. The husband is already ashamed in front of his wife and children, he does not want to be judged (and gossiped) by the whole world.

The one who can become a reliable partner is ... the mother-in-law. Yes, yes, first of all she will not want a scandal. She will be ashamed in front of people for the behavior of a married man - her son. Secondly, she feels sorry for her grandchildren. And, thirdly, she is simply sorry for all that good, her labors and the money that she has invested in this family. Of course, she will say to her daughter-in-law: “She is guilty herself - the husband does not walk from a good wife” (and then, at every opportunity, he will remember twenty more times), but she will fulfill her strategic task - she will threaten her son with a kulak: “E- uh, yes you are all in your dad! I'll show you love! .. "And daddy will quietly advise:" Son, don't be silly, don't try to leave your family! Believe me, women are all different, and wives are all the same. "

Often the deceived wife is oppressed by one circumstance - the absence of any information about the rival. Therefore, the second thing that is desirable to make the "victim" is to get information. You shouldn't pry your husband - he won't tell the truth anyway: he'll dodge and hide the ends in the water. And rightly so: he needs to open it to the last and not say more than his wife knows. Or, immediately fall on your knees and swear that he himself does not know how it all turned out, that he was meanly seduced, drugged, bewitched ... This, by the way, is the most convenient and advantageous option for the exposed.

But the wife does not know anything - it’s scary: this is how to fight the enemy with a blindfold. Here you need a reliable person who will enlighten and at the same time will not spread the secret “to the whole world in secret”. Where can I find it? It is worth looking for an authoritative elderly woman among her husband's colleagues. As a rule, adultery for colleagues is not a secret. It is only the wife who is always the last to know.

And now, finally, the wife found out everything. What to do next? The third rule: under no circumstances go to deal with your rival! Firstly, when you go to someone to ask or demand something, you are already playing. Secondly, until the wife saw her husband's mistress - for her everything is abstract, semi-real, not so painful. And when she sees her rival specifically, emotions begin: either she is beautiful and young, and this is insulting - “I spent my youth on him, and he! ..”; and if she is older and not so beautiful, it outrages - "to whom did he exchange me?" Sometimes, out of anger, you want to pull out the impudent hair. And this is already a one hundred percent loss. Therefore, you do not need to go to understand your rival. And in general, she will be a lot of honor!

In this situation, the woman who has more endurance, intelligence and feminine cunning will win. If the husband is dear, the wife should tell him: "You love her, go, but know: I love you very much too and I cannot live without you, because you are my whole life." Golden rule: if you want to keep - let go. But in no case should you expel your husband yourself! Dear women, do not give it to anyone just like that, in the heat of the moment, out of spite, out of the stupidity of your husbands! Even if the soul at that moment hurts unbearably, do not rush to chop from the shoulder. Listen carefully to your husband (husband, not strangers), think and understand him. And to understand is to forgive.

And finally: if you are extremely attentive to each other, if you do not transfer all love and care to children, work, girlfriends, animals, entertainment, fashion, politics, sports, God knows what else, if you do not exclude from the above the list of her beloved husband, it is possible that the demon, knocking on the rib, will not get through. And you simply will not have to delve into the peculiarities of the behavior of a married man after forty years.

With the advent of genetic analysis, scientists in Great Britain, Germany, USA, Russia and other countries began to face an interesting phenomenon: about 15-30% of fathers in prosperous, "traditional" families are raising a child that is not theirs and are not even aware of it.

For males of any species in nature, such statistics are a real disaster. A man, hoping to pass on his genetic material, invests enormous resources in raising offspring, but it turns out to be a stranger.

Why do women cheat

Researchers at the University of Queensland (Australia) have conducted research on this issue for many years. They came to interesting conclusions: in human DNA there is a special gene that literally "pushes" individuals especially predisposed to treason. This gene is called AVPRIA.

It is active in both the male and female body. Australian scientists surveyed more than 7.3 thousand pairs of twins, each of whom was in a long-term relationship at the time of the survey. The results of the study have shown that ladies are not far behind gentlemen in terms of infidelity.

About 18% of women cheat on their husbands throughout the year. For wives - about 22% of men. Husbands who easily forgive their own infidelity are very sensitive to their wives' infidelities. There are several factors that push the weaker sex to have sex with strangers in the presence of a permanent sexual partner.

Women during ovulation

The most fickle are the young ladies approaching the period of ovulation. This "magical" period of the month makes almost all women extremely windy. By the time of ovulation, the female body is overflowing with the hormone estrogen, which is responsible for reproduction in women.

Under the influence of estrogen, the latter are practically unable to resist the call of nature, which prompts them to find the strongest and healthiest male and at all costs to mate with him to obtain strong and beautiful offspring. Even if a woman has a spouse, she subconsciously looks for the best candidate for the role of the father of her children.

Emancipated women

The more emancipated a woman is, the easier she forgives herself for "small weaknesses" in the form of casual relationships. If even 40-50 years ago, female infidelity was perceived by society as a grandiose scandal, now they increasingly turn a blind eye to it. Female intercourse has become more spontaneous.

Many ladies follow the example of men and easily get in touch with the first attractive guy they come across. If a woman, moreover, has developed as a professional and successful member of society, she will almost certainly have more free views on gender relations.

Women bored in marriage

Like husbands, wives can get bored over time in marriage. Ladies lack romance in a stable relationship, novelty of feelings and a sense of their worth. The lover is always more considerate than the lawful spouse. Flowers, a glance full of adoration, short love meetings under the sign of "forbidden" - all this is insanely intriguing and attracts many married women. Husbands must not forget about this.

Why does adultery happen in marriages? What are their reasons? Something went wrong? All these questions arise not only among those who have become a victim of such behavior of the second half, but also among those who are just trying to start a family. Even if a guy has just started dating a girl, then he may have a worm of doubt that will sharpen constantly and tirelessly: is his beloved cheating? Living with a load on his soul becomes hard. Making claims and asking inappropriate questions is the same as insulting a person with distrust. Maybe it was only your imagination that built some ideas about infidelity, and the girl did not even think to look at someone else. And then she will not like your suspicions, in the end, she will get tired of it, and she will want to end the relationship in order to avoid humiliating questions and your jealousy from scratch. And in this situation she will be right! And you will show yourself not in the best light. If, nevertheless, you cannot cope with unreasonable jealousy, then it is better to turn to the experience of psychologists and find out by indirect signs whether your girlfriend is cheating on you. But even in this case, it is better to take some action and start a showdown when you make sure that your relationship is in danger of a final break. Whether it is worth trying after that to hold the family together or let your wife go to all four sides is up to not only you, but also your other half to decide. Perhaps the betrayal was just her protest against your own wrong behavior. Then it is enough to simply reconsider your relationship, and everything will work out.

Signs of female infidelity

Let's make a reservation right away: all the signs below are just a reason to sound the alarm or check a woman for loyalty. Perhaps the reason for the changes in his wife's behavior was much more prosaic reasons than a passionate romance started on the side. Pressure from friends, parents or colleagues, a banal malaise or a serious illness discovered, in the end, an unexpected pregnancy for her - all this can lead to a radical change in lifestyle or a change in appearance. To look for a stranger in these situations - a rival and rival - is simply ridiculous. He's not there!

The first signs of treason

Among the first signs of treason, psychologists distinguish: 1) Restricting access to personal space Until recently, my wife could carelessly throw her mobile phone on the couch and ask from the shower: “Look who’s calling me?”. Or even ask to answer that she will call back soon or be free. And suddenly she began to hide the phone, and on social networks changed the passwords to those that you do not know. This is already a reason to think about cheating, but at the same time check other signs. You may have recently been rude to your mother-in-law on the phone of your wife or ridiculed her friend on her behalf for being overweight. Here the second half decided to "punish" you by restricting access. After all, access to personal space does not mean the destruction of it. If such facts really took place, then it is worth apologizing to the wife for inappropriate behavior with her loved ones, and then everything can fall into place. If the restriction of access remains so, then look for other signs before making the final verdict of treason. 2) Abruptly abandoning very persistent habits Has your wife suddenly stopped visiting the fitness room or, on the contrary, began to rush there, although she was previously indifferent to sports? Or does she suddenly develop a passion for classical music, and she disappears at the conservatory after work, and at the weekend attends the opera house? At the same time, the wife became suspicious, began to worry a lot about trifles. Often does not answer calls on a mobile phone, or even it is “temporarily unavailable or out of the network coverage area”. These are serious warning signs. If your wife has nothing to hide, then she will always gladly and thoroughly answer your questions about fitness or opera. You, of course, understand that when you are exercising on the simulator, it is simply inconvenient to answer the phone. After physical exertion, the same characteristic aspiration may appear in the voice ... as after violent sex. The perfect disguise for physical betrayal. But there is no need to talk about it. But to ask why the classes suddenly became so interested is quite appropriate. If fitness, on the contrary, is abandoned, then the reason for this may be the rise in the price of the subscription or the closure of the gym, which was close to home or work. And these are not the moments that the wife could not explain. Most likely, she would have complained about the situation before the class was over. If the wife swam in the pool, then it is also impossible to be in touch there. But in this case, ask yourself: why didn't you go swimming together? As for the conservatory or theater, it is customary to switch off mobile phones. This is understandable, as well as the fact that if rap or hard rock is constantly heard at home, which only you like, when your wife loves classics, then she will always look for a place where she can listen to something more comfortable for her ears. Here it was not treason that could play a cruel joke, but your intransigence and the imposition of your own musical taste. 3) Constant delays at work without warning When my wife suddenly began to stay late at work, this would have been inexplicable before, but in the current crisis situation, this is normal. When the management cuts part of the staff, the remaining employees are given just a frenzied amount of work for a meager increase in wages. If your spouse describes this whole situation to you, then you have no reason not to trust, because this information is objective. If a wife wants to get a promotion because she has the chance, then she too can devote more time to her work responsibilities. And she will not share these considerations with you in the only case: when you reproached her with the fact that she occupies a low position, that is, “no one at all,” and you yourself are a size and in good standing with the authorities. If there was no such thing, and the woman is silent and does not admit why it takes a long time to leave work, then this is a reason to ask if she has an office romance. 4) Sudden change of image in the direction of a sexier A change of image can happen unexpectedly if your shy wife has come under the influence of her brighter girlfriends. Instead of plain hair of an incomprehensible color, she takes on a blonde hair or becomes a burning brunette. And maybe a redhead. New things appear in the wife's wardrobe, more elegant and expensive in appearance. Of course, it's a shame that she was the last to ask you if she should go to a makeup artist or stylist. But what can you do if she asked you several times, and you shrugged your shoulders vaguely? And then the mother-in-law could also intervene, who "sawed through" her daughter's brain that her husband should always like her, which means that she should take care of her appearance. Otherwise he will leave or find a mistress! It's good if the young lady began to take care of herself. But what should be alarming is deep cutouts in clothes, skirts that are too short, or, if emphasized, tight-fitting silhouettes. If only all this has not happened before, then it becomes clear that the girl wants to attract someone. And if at the same time you pay attention to cutesy behavior, changes in gestures, gaze, etc. - this is already a reason to suspect treason. The assessment of the wife's behavior in bed can finally dispel doubts. 5) Chilling in intimate relationships Every person has their own sexual temperament, and you probably know very well what your wife has. How quickly she falls asleep after "this", whether one act is enough for her, or is she insatiable, like a nymphomaniac, whether she often has a "headache", in the sense of a reason for refusing to intercourse - all this should be known to you. If suddenly something has changed, especially in the direction of cooling the relationship, then we can assume that the wife is getting satisfaction somewhere on the side. Or your opponent “makes something better in bed,” so you become uninteresting. But this is not always a reason for suspicion. Your wife might just be pregnant! At the beginning of pregnancy, many women have a decrease in libido, and this is a normal physiological process. Moreover, many have to deal with such an unpleasant phenomenon as thrush at the beginning of this period. If your wife refuses intimate relationships in this case, then she is doing the right thing, because she does not want to infect you. At the same time, remember: thrush is not a venereal disease and arises as a result of a decrease in immunity, and not because the wife "brought it". This is even more a confirmation that the spouse is really pregnant. The question arises: why doesn't she talk about it? To answer this question, remember how you prepared to first confess your love to her, how you were going to propose. It took moral strength from you! And no less spiritual work is required from a woman to declare you a future father. Yes, someone else appears in your relationship. But this third is your son or daughter, who need to be paid attention to even before birth. And it is also required of you. Sooner or later, the wife will be forced to say that she is going to become a mother, and then you will be convinced of her loyalty. But if there is no pregnancy, then you should ask if your spouse is sick with something serious. When the diagnosis is frightening, then it is she who may be afraid that you will leave her. If you are not a complete egoist, then she will most likely entrust you with her sad secret over time. When a spouse is healthy, like a bull, and, moreover, does not bear a child, this is already a reason to ask, for a start as a joke: has she found a replacement for you?

Physiological signs of treason (body)

There are still a couple of signs by which men often judge female infidelity. These are menstruation, which occurs several times a month, as well as the desire of the spouse to get to the bathroom as soon as possible. The first option is simply disrespect for you. Why not just say that you are tired or sick? Why cheat so that everything is sewn with white threads. This is a reason to think. The second option can be caused, for example, by the same thrush. What it feels like to endure the itch for a long time and not run to the bathroom when the first opportunity comes! Also, the spouse may be embarrassed that her deodorant turned out to be faulty in the heat, and she does not want to appear before you dirty and sloppy. So the bathroom can be for you, and not for the destruction of the odor of a stranger's cologne and traces of recent sexual pleasures.

Signs of cheating on panties, underwear and other clothes

Speaking about the image, we missed one important detail - underwear. It can also lead you to suspicion. For example, you have never shown an addiction to leather underwear, but suddenly your wife has it. This thing is not cheap, and a wealthy lady can buy it just for the sake of experiment. If this creates a serious gap in your family budget, then before making such a purchase, your spouse should ask how you generally feel about underwear made from such an unusual material. If a lady of the heart introduced a peignoir into her intimate wardrobe, which she had not previously used, then this can be attributed to imitation of the heroine of a recently watched film. But if this piece of linen is not worn for your bed dramas, then you need to be on your guard. You need to carefully find out: why this piece of clothing was purchased: either it is just a useless gift from a friend, or a way to please a lover. This can also serve as lace panties, a new bra, often enlarging the breasts, etc. If all this is not worn in front of your intimate scenes, but when you leave the house, then this may be a sign of physical betrayal, and not some erotic fantasies your life partner.

Woman's behavior after her betrayal

It is enough to pay attention to what changes appeared in the daily behavior of the wife to say: "Perhaps she cheated on me." And these are not necessarily views of the husband as a complete insignificance, when she mentally compares him with a rich (more courteous, affectionate, powerful) lover. Here everything can be exactly the opposite:

amazing dishes of exotic or European cuisine, which are not prepared for the holiday; excessive politeness in treatment, bordering on a constant desire to apologize for ... treason; surgical cleanliness in the house; no one knows where a burst of energy came from, right up to the desire to dance.

Of course, putting in perfect order in the house and cooking pickles - all this can be the result of "getting in the brain" from the mother-in-law or, on the contrary, - the admonition of a dear mother, they say, you are no longer young, you cannot keep "this dog" alone by the beauty. And they advise the mother to surround her dear spouse with unprecedented care, so that he himself does not look to the left. A sudden fascination with cooking unusual dishes can play a role. If the wife is an addicting nature, then over time this interest will subside, the food will become more mediocre, and this will only remain to be regretted, as well as unfounded suspicions.

Cheating through the eyes of a psychologist

Psychologists are impartial, and therefore their verdict sometimes seems cruel to us. Sometimes, instead of taking the side of the deceived spouse, they suddenly begin to justify the action of the one who dared to give him horns. Often, wanting to understand what caused the betrayal, they bring to light such nuances of the behavior of both spouses, which the family preferred to keep silent about. But even such shock therapy is sometimes useful, because it allows everyone to see their own shortcomings, and not indiscriminately blame only the wife who cheated on her husband.

Reasons for female infidelity

Often cited as the main reason for women's dissatisfaction, and not only in sexual terms. Just sex can suit a partner, but man is not the only one alive! The wife also has her own “spiritual body,” which has needs. Go to the theater or dine in a restaurant, go on a romantic trip, just walk arm in arm in the evening park - why all this often remains at the dawn of a relationship, and then disappears somewhere later, replaced by the routine of pots, pans, cleaning. Especially if the second half, that is, you, does not bother with household chores, considering his wife the working camel who will carry all this on himself. When you have a relationship with another man, it often represents as promising romantic start as you once had. Moral: a woman needs to be conquered with something all the time, even in spite of the presence of a stamp in the passport, joint living space and common children. And then she won't even have a reason to look in someone's direction. Remain a gallant gentleman, and not a lazy man lying on the couch, who, apart from the TV, is not very interested in anything. You can often hear that for a man the family is his rear. But this does not mean at all that this is what is always behind you. If there is a rear, then there is a front. And this is not a career, not personal successes, but the protection of the family and even its material support. The latter is fundamentally distinguished by family life and military disposition. Sometimes women “bite” on the lover's security, on his expensive gifts, and not even out of greed, but because “the man wasted himself”. The tempter can thus put your soul mate in an uncomfortable position. Especially if she does not know how to reject expensive gifts and annoying courtship. Often such relationships are even a burden for her, but she is unable to stop them. Then a psychologist is needed. Or you yourself can suddenly show yourself as a superman and do something grandiose for your wife in order to win her away from your opponent forever.

Why does a girl sleep with another guy but don't leave

It so happens that the other half is playing a game "on two fronts", that is, she has you, and at the same time - a lover. And she prefers not to stick to any of the banks completely. Perhaps you and her lover are mutually complementary links in her life. You know how to provide for a family, she sees in you a promising father for children, but finds sex with you boring and monotonous. Or maybe it's not about sex at all. She may not even sleep with the other guy, but spend most of the time with him, saying that this is just friendship. Perhaps this guy understands her better, this is a vest in which you can cry, he gets a more comfortable conversation than you. And then this is a reason to change something in yourself, and not reproach his wife with her infidelity.

Who is to blame for treason

Surprisingly, both are to blame. If a friend of life is too lustful that she cannot be satisfied with only one partner, then where were your eyes when you chose her as your life partner? If you then closed them for such "shortcomings", then you just have to wait for the hormonal background of your chosen one to subside, and she will not look at other men. At the same time, she can be with you with all her soul, but change physically. But if the wife has cheated, falling in love with another person, then this is a more serious situation, because it often ends in a breakdown in relations, divorce, and leaving for another family. A stable love triangle may form, and here all three will be to blame. Sometimes a lady remains a double woman for a long time, until someone first gets tired of this state of affairs. And then you have to untangle the thread and look for the reasons that gave rise to these strange relationships.

How to know if my girlfriend or wife is cheating on me

This question is often asked by insecure men. In fact, jealousy is self-doubt, and it often arises from scratch, for no real reason. Executing a creature dear to you with distrust is not the best way to maintain a relationship. Therefore, you need to make sure that the betrayal really takes place.

Ways to Catch Cheating

The most common method is spying on the person you suspect. You can spy on your own or with the help of private detectives. You can track down either your soul mate or a perceived competitor. There are different methods of espionage thanks to modern technologies:

the use of eavesdropping devices; peeping information on social networks; visual observation using portable video cameras or optical devices.

But if you are a sick person from your own jealousy, then entrust the work to impartial detectives. After all, any information received can be misinterpreted by you, and you admit yourself to be a fiasco. For example, an affectionate word addressed to a yard dog and recorded on your recorder can be mistaken for a conversation with a young man. Some couples call the husband a dog or a cat! And surprisingly, a woman with a developed imagination can give her mobile phone or tablet a name by which she will call it aloud someday.

Fidelity test to check your beloved

There are various test options on the Internet, and with the help of them you can test both yourself and your soul mate. If you take responsibility for her, then you may misinterpret some of her phrases or fill out the test in general biasedly. Then the results may turn out to be distorted. Better to just invite her to answer the questions herself as a game. Naturally, you yourself will also take part in this and fill in all the fields with her. If you have nothing to hide, then she, too, will agree to do everything with you. Just be careful: the test does not show the fact of infidelity, but simply a person's tendency to infidelity. It is quite possible that your wife realizes that she is “not averse to on the side,” but for the sake of you, beloved, she honestly restrains such impulses and does not dissolve. There are many ways to get another person to do something that he himself would not want. And often it can be physical or mental pressure. It is silly to argue that a woman is physically weaker, but this does not mean that one should literally beat out testimony from a wife. After all, recognition under such pressure will generally be your last conversation, after which she will have no hesitation and doubts about who is better. Of course, a lover, because he does not let go. And she will run away to him without looking back, at least in order to be under the wing, besides, she will justify herself 100% if you prove yourself as a real dork. Putting pressure on a woman morally is also not the best option, because the relationship with you will definitely not return to normal from this. Most likely, the spouse will file for divorce and, quite possibly, even be left alone, deciding that she is so much calmer - without any fights. If you want to put an end to your relationship with your wife, because you yourself have chosen a more suitable party for yourself, then feel free to start a showdown: you will achieve your goal and get a divorce.

My wife has a lover, what to do

If you have made sure that your wife really has a lover, and this is no secret admirer, not just a friendly colleague who is not averse to chatting with someone else's wife for a long time, namely a man who has an affair, then you can simply compete with him. Instead of starting a showdown, you can just call your wife to work, and furnish it very effectively. And after that invite her to a restaurant, saying that you would like to free her from household chores today. Further more. You can start a trip to the resort with your spouse. This will tear her out of the circle of communication with an uninvited suitor for a long time. Perhaps your life friend just needs vivid impressions, and if it is your persona that will be associated with them, then why waste time and moral strength on a lover? Here the rule works well that the wife needs to be pampered so that she herself does not start pampering. Perceiving your life friend as a "free application" to you is the way to the fact that sooner or later she will change. If a woman is not appreciated and not told about it, observing the "Spartan atmosphere" in the relationship, then she will subconsciously look for someone who will appreciate her. There is no need to skimp on kind words, on the manifestation of attention and affection. Then you will have a chance not only to calmly relive this romance started by your wife, but also to stay with her when the lover simply disappears from the horizon. Sometimes another psychological move also helps. Oddly enough, but you need to let your wife go to her lover. They say about women that at home, when they “unfasten” their false eyelashes and hairpieces, wash off the “plaster”, they turn into kikimor. But with men, things are really no better. Your wife sees her lover as imposing, well-groomed when she meets him only in fits and starts. Now she will see him watching sports that will be more important than her. In this case, yesterday's "treasure" will almost eat pasta with stew or dumplings with his hands, so as not to be distracted from the screen, or bite off the sausage directly from the loaf. There are many pictures of such a plan, and all of them will not be in favor of the person who was throwing dust in his eyes. Doesn't the wife then want to return to the man whose family way of life was worked out together with her?

How to tell if your wife is cheating at work

Office romances, alas, are not uncommon. And this is not always a meeting of two lonely hearts. It also happens that an "omnipotent" director or a big boss courting a married subordinate. In return, he offers career growth, high wages, and he also gladly spends his own money on a lady he likes. This even from the outside seems disgusting to many. But if this is your wife, then this situation is a real disaster. A faithful wife will either quit this job, or make it clear that she is not ready to accept the courtship of the "bonza", no matter what benefits he promises her. And here you need to distinguish between what reaches you: gossip or truthful information. If the director walks around your wife with gogol, this does not mean that she reciprocated. Showdowns should be started with him rather than with your beloved. A person understands that his power extends only within the unit or office headed by him. But here you are "not from his system", and he may be afraid of you, because he does not know what to expect from you. If you want to be confident in your wife, then unexpectedly pay her a visit to work under the pretext of a surprise - unexpectedly bought tickets for a film premiere, an invitation to friends, or some other plausible pretext. You can also ask your spouse for a corporate party. If the other half has nothing to hide, then she can take such an idea with enthusiasm.

Cheating spouse at 40, what to do

Sometimes a woman tries to adjust her outlook on life at a more mature age than your marital union took place. And then she can find herself not just a nice, cheerful guy that you once were, but a wealthy man who could:

provide a good family; protect your household from many problems; give expensive gifts; look after nicely; to really take care of children (and yours!), which you have not done until now.

In adulthood, a wife may suddenly look at the world through a different prism - the prism of practicality, which leads to a very dangerous betrayal. This is no longer an easy flirting on the side, but a search for a reliable foothold. If you do not cope with this role yourself - if you please ... Whether it will be possible to save the marriage or at least the relationship with children in this situation depends not only on the escaped wife, and not only on your children, but also on your precious person. Understand your spouse and forgive The first thing to do is to get into your wife's position and understand what she was unhappy with in the marriage. If you tyrannized the whole family, did not spare the children, provided them poorly, then it will be difficult to hope for a change for the better. Then you yourself will have to ask for forgiveness from the one whom you consider to be guilty. If you drop pride, then you can take such a step, if the woman is really dear to you. If you perceived your wife only as a servant in the house, then you can hardly apologize to her, and then you will have to start life from a blank sheet. Children will have to be released to a new father, but still gain their favor in order to sometimes see them. If you were a too gentle person in the family, and the wife did not perceive you as a serious support from this, then it’s time to change something in yourself and win the wife’s favor. If from a romantic girl she was able to become a practical lady, then yesterday's "tyukhtya" can turn into a real superman. By the way, “tyukhti” initially has more chances to be a beloved father, because children do not love the successful, but the kind. In this case, the divorce can be postponed and just wait until this romance ends on the side. Divorce after infidelity and life from scratch If it was not possible to improve relations after the betrayal, and only diplomacy was established on the issue of raising children, then this is not a sentence for you as for a married man. If you realize that your wife will be tightly held by her new family, then create your own. A man - and a groom at 40! Just do not do it in spite, because you will cripple the life of yourself and your new chosen one. You need to marry the woman you truly love and who loves you. After all, she will always subconsciously compare herself with your "ex." And if you choose a woman from whom your husband left, then this awkward feeling will visit you when you are afraid of not living up to expectations. Only strong feelings for each other can distract from these thoughts.

If a loved one has changed, is it worth forgiving her

Not only your wife can deceive you, but also the girl with whom you are still dating. Cheating is different. For example, a girl can take someone's courtship while drunk. She herself will not be happy with this turn of events. This is exactly the case when you need to behave like a chivalrous: forgive the girl and deal with an unexpectedly arisen rival. You can even forgive your wife's fleeting romance if you see that these violent feelings are not for long. As a rule, a gentleman can run away from a married lover as soon as she starts a conversation with him about starting a family. Such people prefer someone else to be responsible for the woman. In this case, on you. In the meantime, your wife plunged headlong into her romance, just think about what you didn’t suit your friend in life. Maybe it’s you who will be able to put everything right. Just avoid reproaches, feel like you were in your youth, when you just courted her, trying to be better than your rivals. Have you been challenged? Accept!

Statistics: do wives often cheat on husbands, and girls often cheat on guys

Now you can find disappointing statistics that cheating occurs in 70% of married couples. But there is no unity among women and men sites regarding gender data in this regard. If on sites for a strong half of women's infidelity, the numbers are often underestimated, then on women's resources it is indicated that over 75% of men are unfaithful in marriage. Should you rely on such statistics? Most likely no. In addition, you need to understand the reason for each individual betrayal. After all, you can be a good husband and an exemplary father, and statistics can be spoiled by domestic tyrants, drunks and outright womanizers, whom it is not a sin to change, but a way of salvation for a humiliated wife.

Psychology: the consequences of infidelity and relationships after it

If the result of the betrayal did not become a final rupture, this does not mean at all that it will not leave a scar in the soul. Even the strongest and most courageous man is defenseless in front of only one feeling - love. If she is so strong that her own pride is drowning in her, then, oddly enough, this is a chance not only to forgive and take back her unfaithful wife, but also to maintain good relations with her and never remember her accidental romance. You can often hear: "Be above this." But as a rule, such a remark concerns some kind of conflicts at work, petty quarrels. But you can be higher than betrayal, higher than your opponent. Difficult, but you can always try. Indeed, how well your family life can develop further depends on how much you rise above this conflict. And if it so happened that your marriage fell apart, then try not to keep evil. After all, the wife is gone, but it will not leave you. Don't let him grind through your soul. It is better to find another fulcrum for yourself and throw off the burden of mental pain. It will not be possible to do this right away, this disease will have to be ill for some time. But it should not be allowed to take on a chronic form.