There is a three-ruble note, rooms of 10 squares, 14 and 19. And children 1 year old, 12 years old - girls, 14 years old boy. Now the older children are in the room, and the parents with the baby are in the big one. I was planning to move the baby to middle age when she was 2 years old, but suddenly the daughter said that she did not need her there. And I can't figure out where to put the baby now.
And how do your children live if you can't fit in a room for everyone?

Galina

Good day! An outside perspective is required.
My husband and I, and two children of 10 and 7 years old, live in an apartment owned by the father-in-law. We are building a house and are going to move there in the summer, the children will just go to a new school (the youngest is in the 1st grade, the eldest is finishing primary). Our father-in-law lives in this house, we asked them to move closer to us to help with the children, since I went to work when the youngest was 1 year old. When we invited the parents to move to our house, we discussed that we would not live together and that when the children grow up we will move into the house, and the parents will move to their apartment where we now live, i.e. there will be an exchange. Before moving to our house, they lived all their lives in the village in their house with a vegetable garden and other joys of village life, i.e. never lived in the city in an apartment. Then they sold their house, gave us a little money for a construction site, part of the second son, I don’t know the rest. It is the 6th year of their residence in our house and everyone is happy with everything except me, since I want to move and live without my parents, and everyone else seems to want to live together. Yesterday my husband and I had a conversation about the need to get ready to move and it would be necessary to talk with the parents on this topic, and the husband suddenly tells me that he does not want to ask the parents to move because he feels guilty before them in this situation. In addition, they will help with the children after school, since we both work, and I also go on business trips. I am very saddened by this situation, since I categorically want to live with my family and in this situation I think that my interests are infringed upon. I am very worried about the possible deterioration of relations with my mother-in-law and thus with my husband, it is not easy for me to endure her obsession in terms of everyday life, since she is a very active person and considers it necessary to express her opinion on any occasion and in any situation. They are very good people and help us in many ways, but I am afraid that our relations will deteriorate due to the coexistence of two generations in the same territory. Question: to insist on our own and lose the buns in the form of helping with children, or try to establish a joint life?
Thanks in advance for the substantive answers.

Svetlana Karetkina

I want to consult. My second mother-in-law is generally a sweet woman, but she seems to have some kind of mental disorder. She has not worked for a long time, once worked as a nurse in purulent surgery (her father-in-law earns more than enough), sits at home all day and does cleanliness. their apartment shines from top to bottom, I have not even seen such cleanliness in the operating room as in her bathroom, kitchen and toilet. she has special rags and detergents and disinfectants for everything, imported and expensive. All this would not give a damn, but sometimes we have to go to visit them. It happens like in the movies about the Ebola virus epidemic.

In general, with the neighbors in the corridor (there is also cleanliness and sterility, the neighbors are trained and change their shoes outside), they take off our shoes and undress our outerwear. Special plastic bags are issued for shoes. We are given slippers, which, after we leave, are treated with steam from a steamer and special means. our outerwear is put away in covers and, together with our shoes, are put on the balcony. Until this moment, nothing bothers me. But it gets worse.

In the room next to the hallway, we are given home clothes to change into. Our jeans and blouses, in which we came, girls have sundresses - everything is put into bags. We put on everything clean, which, after our departure, everything is washed and processed by a steamer. The husband even changes his socks. Well at least you can leave the panties in which we came.

Then we all go in single file to the bathroom. There are hand washing products. With a disinfectant, some special with which surgeons wash their hands before operations. Mine with a product and with brushes. Then we must wash our face! My faces, ears. Only after that, after wiping off with clean towels, which are thrown into the basket for dirty immediately after wiping, we substitute our cheeks for kisses.

There is a separate toilet for guests. You can’t go to the mother-in-law’s little one or the big one. I once went at the dawn of our acquaintance several years ago, so my mother-in-law spent the whole evening in front of me tearing out the entire toilet with bleach, even washed the ceilings, in my opinion.

The father-in-law is used to all this. husband too. She says that before she was not so crazy, although she always adored cleanliness, but with age it intensifies (she is 62 years old). The girls seem to be okay too. giggle. And all this infuriates me to the point of impossibility. I try to send my friends on a visit without me, my husband and two younger ones (the eldest is from a previous marriage, her mother-in-law is also not eager to see). But it doesn't always work out. For the last three years we have not met in neutral territory at all, the mother-in-law does not like to leave the house without a spacesuit. Cafes and restaurants in general horror and death from infections in agony. She cooks everything only by super-heat treatment, everything is boiled and steamed to kill the entire infection, God forbid, fresh fruits and vegetables, never! In short, it is very difficult. But my father-in-law and her husband wink at me and persuade me not to offend the hostess, and they force the girls.

Once I foolishly decided to go on a trip with my father-in-law, I had never been abroad, but then I was offered to the UAE. It was horror, everything was treated with sterile wipes with an antiseptic, even the dishes from which we ate, and she wiped the girls every five minutes, the middle one (the youngest was not yet there) was allergic to an antiseptic, in general I try not to remember this trip.

And that's what I'm writing for. I learned that the last few times when the girls stayed overnight at their mother-in-law on weekends, the mother-in-law of the girls again treated it with a disinfectant solution from which the middle one again had red spots on her face, neck and along the hairline (she didn’t wash their heads with this solution. I know ?!), all things smell like bleach, especially the shoes inside. I can not take it anymore. She's out of her mind, I think. I can't stop the girls from going there, only the older one I can leave at home, and then there will be no scandal. And if I don’t give the younger ones, then there will be an apocalypse. But every time she wipes them with this hellish shit! I tried to give my lotions with me so that she could wipe my skin with them, but she says that all this does not work for street infections, and you can even bring tetanus and anthrax from the street. Tell me what to do, I'm already tired and I'm sorry for the girls. I already took a certificate from a dermatologist, wrote - eczema of some unspecified genesis code 10, exclude detergents containing such and such substances (and there is a list of chemical names), but the mother-in-law said that the youngest's eczema was not from them, but this is because I am in during pregnancy did not observe hygiene ((((

Plastisol what is it

Today I wanted to order a toy for my daughter in the online store. The description says: material PLASTISOL. I decided to search the Internet for what kind of material it was and found just such an article. I think it will be useful for many to read. Since the health of children is very important for any mom. I apologize to the moderators if I write off topic.

1. Children's toys

Many bright toys are sold in the markets that attract and love children. All parents buy toys for their children. They are necessary even for the smallest. Toys accompany the child from an early age, starting with rattles and stroller hangers and playpens. Toys attract the attention of babies, allowing mothers to do household chores. In addition, they develop vision, touch, hearing, color perception, contribute to the development of coordination of movements, etc. Toys are a means of communication between the baby and the outside world.

According to pediatricians and child psychologists, games are essential for children from an early age. A child at the age of 10 days is already able to keep a moving object in sight. By the end of the 1st month of life, he can already closely monitor objects, intently examine stationary objects and respond to sounds.

This is why babies need toys. To please the baby, they must be bright, pleasant to the touch and make different sounds. It is these goals that the rattles and constant companions of the child in the bathroom pursue - rubber balls and animals. It should be noted that tactile perception is an important way of knowing the world for a baby.

These rubber toys are very popular with children. They are bright, soft to the touch, squeak funny. With them, it is easy for a child to get involved in the game, while doing a not very pleasant activity, for example, bathing.

According to statistics, on the modern Russian toy market, 40% are dolls and various plush animals, 22% - constructors, 20% - video games, 8% - technical toys and 10% - board games and puzzles.

Unfortunately, many parents do not wonder how safe these toys are for their child. Meanwhile, children are very inquisitive and examine them not only with their hands, but often with their mouths - biting and licking their pets.

The reason for this indifference on the part of parents is that most moms and dads think that Chinese products have only one drawback - they are very fragile and break quickly. Meanwhile, the main danger for a child is not the fragility of the product, but the lack of quality. The harm that such toys can cause to the health of a child is irreparable. And parents most often do not even suspect about him.

Modern synthetic materials are used to make toys, so they are affordable due to their low cost. Every year more and more bright attractive toys from these materials appear. But how safe are they for children?

This question is very important. After all, a small child, having licked a rattle or chewed on a rubber duck, runs the risk of receiving a dose of not only harmful, but poisonous substances. This is no longer such a frivolous question.

According to the data of the sanitary and epidemiological services, during the production and sale of children's games and toys in 2004, 67% of the tested 758 thousand pieces of samples were withdrawn from circulation. Of these, 71.3% were imported toys.

The main reasons for the ban on the sale were the excess of the permissible toxicity standards of toys for the content of phenol and formaldehyde, as well as the unacceptable level of sound emitted by toys, and the smell.

For example, children's toys sold in Bryansk, Kaluga, Yaroslavl, Novosibirsk, Oryol and other regions exceeded the permissible odor level. And in the products that were sold in the Smolensk and Oryol regions, methyl alcohol was found.

Modern doctors also pay attention to the fact that toys can cause harm not only because of the content of harmful substances in them, but also because of their appearance. There are many scary toys on store shelves that, by their appearance, can affect the psyche of children.

It should be noted that if the relevant organizations are still monitoring the sanitary and hygienic indicators of toys, no one controls the appearance of toys.

Harmful substances contained in toys

It has long been said in the media about the dangers of toys in which harmful substances are found - such as phenol, formaldehyde, mercury, lead, etc. The concentration of these substances often exceeds the permissible limits. Most of these toys are for small children.

Laboratory tests of toys show that 15% of the samples do not meet the standards.

Inspections of outlets for the distribution of toys showed that most of the products lack quality and safety certificates. In addition, violations of the requirements for labeling of goods were noted. Toys do not meet safety requirements for sanitary-chemical and toxicological indicators.

Most of the rejected toys are imported products. In general, most of the toys and games sold in domestic stores come from China (about 90%), as well as from Poland and Belarus, and only a 10th part is produced in Russia.

The rejected toys were seized in the markets of Moscow and the Moscow region, Samara, Novosibirsk, Yaroslavl, Chelyabinsk and other large cities of Russia.

The largest number of poisoning of children with poisonous substances contained in toys in Russia was noted in August 2004. The largest consignments of life-threatening toys were found in the Lipetsk region and Tyumen. The toys were made in China, the phenol content in them was 24 times higher than the norm.

In the same 2004, Rospotrebnadzor checked 7908 trade enterprises. On the facts of non-compliance of the rejected toys with sanitary standards, 22 cases were sent to the courts. Rospotrebnadzor imposed administrative fines on 3,591 trade enterprises in the amount of 4.5 million rubles.

In 2006, more than 93,000 games and toys that did not meet the established requirements were withdrawn from the Russian market.

You should not buy everything your child wants, because he is small and cannot be responsible for his own safety and health. His parents must take care of this.

We meticulously and scrupulously choose the products that end up on the child's table. And we are practically not interested in the quality of the toys we buy for him.

Parents, as a rule, are very scrupulous about what gets into the children's plate: taste, color, smell, is it overdue? And they are extremely dismissive of the choice of toys: if the child likes it, then we take it. After all, he will not eat it ...

This approach is fraught with a latent threat. The quality of toys sometimes affects the health of the baby no less than the components of the cutlets eaten by him. After all, chemicals enter the bloodstream not only through the esophagus, but also through the respiratory tract. And if you add to this the age-old childhood habit of trying everything unfamiliar to the tooth, then we get a double risk.

What is it about? First of all, about cheap toys from China. Of the 5000 children's toys rejected by Rospotrebnadzor in 2012, 90% were made in China. Experts could not immediately determine their composition, because the labels simply lacked any information. In addition to funny Chinese instructions like "This toy will make your man happy", the experts did not find anything: neither the manufacturer's data, nor information about age restrictions. But the smell that came from the rubber ducklings forced the sanitary doctors to send them to the laboratory. And then it turned out ...

Phenol

The content of this chemical in toys made in China is sometimes eighty times the norm. Phenol is a cheap component that allows you to quickly give a toy the desired shape, as well as a strong toxic substance that negatively affects male reproductive function and, according to some reports, causes cancer. Phenol can enter the human body both through the respiratory tract and through the digestive tract. And its main distinguishing feature is a sharp poisonous smell (it is simply impossible not to feel it!). Therefore, when buying a toy for a child, smell it first. If it smells like shoe glue, or worse, put it back and call the local Rospotrebnadzor office at the point of sale. So you will save tens or even hundreds of children from poison.

Formaldehyde

It is a colorless gas with a pungent odor. Formaldehyde is officially considered a carcinogen, i.e. a cancer-causing substance. Nevertheless, it is used in the production of resins, plastics, paints, textiles, which are also used for the manufacture of children's toys. There it is given not only by the smell, but also by the bright color. The brighter the toy, the more likely formaldehyde was used in its production. According to the law of meanness, it is the brightest toys that most often attract children. Therefore, it is better to suppress such temptations at the root - to drive your child away from tents and kiosks where poisonous-colored “children's joys” are sold. And if the child has already managed to notice the toy and "fall for" it, explain to him, as you can, that "this is byaka", and it will hurt his tummy or pinch his eyes. Moreover, this is not far from the truth.

Lead

This toxic metal is a frequent component of children's jewelry: plastic rings, earrings, beads and brooches. Manufacturers give them a silver color to the product. All of them are potentially dangerous, especially if a child takes a toy in his mouth or, worse, swallows it. Lead that has entered the body negatively affects the functioning of the central nervous system, can provoke depression, hyperactivity, other mental disorders, or cause general intoxication of the body. Therefore, if possible, refrain from buying "silver plastic" for your child. This will eliminate all the listed risks.

Impact on the psyche

All kinds of monsters can be found in the vastness of children's markets and store shelves. Try to watch your little son play and you will see what all these cyborgs and alien invaders are doing in his hands: that's right - they are killing each other! Well, think for yourself, what else can they do, not dance a waltz ... How many times have psychologists told the world that an easy attitude to death, even a toy, is dangerous for the psyche of a child. But moms and dads keep buying their kids perfect killer robots!

And Barbie dolls ... A beauty with ideal parameters: long legs and small feet, on which, if she were alive, she would not be able to walk. With a waist that excludes the presence of half of the internal organs ... You can say that Barbie is a convention that has nothing to do with real life,

Any product made in China accounts for 80% of the Russian goods market. And goods for children are no exception. In a children's store, you will hardly find a toy without the inscription “Made in China” on the tag. And this is not surprising. The purchase price of Chinese goods is record low, they enter store shelves, increasing their value tenfold, and at the same time they still remain cheap and accessible to the buyer.

So what is the danger to consumers? The fact is that there is practically no quality control for export products in China. The desire to save as much as possible at the production stage provokes manufacturers to use substandard or prohibited raw materials in the manufacturing process.

Phenol and cadmium in the children's room

Rospotrebnazdor quite often publishes information on studies of Chinese toys for their compliance with sanitary standards. According to the results of such studies, samples of toys with cadmium in dyes are found on the market. The maximum permissible concentration of this substance can be exceeded 80 times.

According to the research results, the most dangerous are:

• PVC products, the concentration of phenol is exceeded up to 40 times
• painted plastisol toys (toy pistols, mobile phones). The smell exceeds the standard by 2-2.5 times, the phenolic index is exceeded by 17 times.

Research also shows that decorative surfaces of toys are sensitive to damp environments. This means that when the toy gets into the child's mouth, the top layer of paint will begin to peel off under the influence of saliva and teeth.

Impact on health

How do such toys affect the child's health? Everything is very individual and depends on the specific active ingredient. Under the influence of increased concentrations of certain substances, children may experience:

• Headache
• Allergic reactions
• Respiratory diseases
• Eating disorders
• Diseases of the liver and kidneys
• Weak immune system

However, it is not only the chemical composition of raw materials and the quality of materials that matter. All parameters of toys are of great importance for the normal development of a child. For example, on the shelves of one of the popular children's stores, kaleidoscopes with a tube length of 15 cm or even less were found. While the standard for such products is at least 25 centimeters. Who cares? - you ask. And the difference is that the child will inevitably lose visual acuity when regularly viewing images and figures that are too close to the eye.

The fight against low-quality children's goods continues for a very long time and lots of goods that do not meet the standards are regularly withdrawn from the turnover of Russian stores. However, dangerous toys continue to hit the shelves, as the fines are still incomparable to the profits from the sale of cheap Chinese products.

How to keep your child safe?

Naturally, living in the modern world, it is simply impossible not to buy Chinese toys. Simply because almost all of them are made in China. But it is still quite possible to protect yourself and your child.

1. Buy toys only from specialized stores. Product quality control is much higher there than in markets or street stalls.
2. However, the name of the store is not a guarantee yet. Therefore, when buying a toy, read the label carefully. It must be indicated on it:
   • date of manufacture
   • name of the country and manufacturer
   • legal address
   • shelf life
   • Rostest sign
   • certificate number
   • the composition of the materials from which the toy is made
   • its description and purpose
   • the age of the child for which it is designed
   • information must be translated into Russian
3. Examine the toy carefully. It should not have a pungent, chemical or just a pungent odor. If possible, evaluate the quality of the material: whether the paint is peeling off, whether the lint and hairs, if any, are falling out, how reliable the small parts look. If they break easily, a child may accidentally or deliberately swallow them. If the toy has a sound signal, check it, it should not be too loud and annoying.
4. As a last resort, you have every right to ask the seller for a certificate of product quality.

If you did buy a low-quality toy, hand it back to the store. If it is no longer possible to return a defective product, discard it immediately.

In recent years, shopping malls with toys along highways have become quite popular. Never buy toys for your children or as a gift there. Quality control at such points is completely absent. In addition, dust and harmful substances of exhaust gases from the highway settle on the materials.

If you suspect poisoning or intoxication, take your child to the doctor.

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The most important condition for a happy childhood is the love and care of parents. However, what child would refuse a new, beautiful, bright and interesting toy? Which one to choose so as not to harm the health of your child and so that it lasts as long as possible? We advise you to turn your attention to Chinese toys. Of course, today many people say that they are harmful and of poor quality. But it is not so.

Toys in China

About a century ago, approximately the same number of people lived in the Russian Empire and in China, but today there are already ten times more Chinese than Russians. How did it happen? There is nothing mysterious about this. Any mother in the Middle Kingdom, when asked about raising a child, will answer that it is Chinese toys that help her cope with her child.

Throughout the ages, the Chinese have paid great attention to toys and a variety of entertainment. It is worth noting that it was Chinese toys (a bobblehead dummy, a paper flashlight, a powder rocket, a kite) that became the prototypes of future weapons and equipment.

Modern Chinese toys

Modern children in China do not part with their toys day or night. Their morning begins with a search for a favorite object in a drawer, and ends in bed, with him in an embrace.

Today there are a huge number of toys from the Middle Kingdom, their variety is amazing. Even those countries that are at a great distance from the Asian state send their representatives here. They look for Chinese children's toys in local markets that match the characteristics of their people.

It is the variety of goods produced in China that has led to the fact that it is sent in huge bulk to African, Russian, Australian and American children.

Are toys from China safe?

Today there are a huge number of toy brands and the competition in this market is very strong. Manufacturers from China overcome it due to the fact that great attention is paid not only to the attractiveness and appearance of the product, but also to its harmlessness to health and quality. Of course, we often hear that the Chinese are actually not, and it is not so difficult to prove it.

Laws in China suggest that manufacturers of substandard or even harmful products will be severely punished. For example, if a large company that produces Chinese stuffed toys is negligent in doing its job and releases a low-quality product, then it risks not only spoiling its reputation. The management of such a company can be very badly affected, up to and including litigation. And the Chinese, as you know, do not want to risk their heads.

Low-quality products

Where, then, do all these myths about the harmfulness and poor quality of Chinese toys come from? The fact is that in the outback of the Middle Kingdom there are various small companies that supply low-quality products to other countries, sometimes passing them off as products from well-known brands. Like any trader in any bazaar, such a company is trying by any means to break through to foreign markets. This is how a low-quality product falls into the hands of our children. This is how the belief arises that all Chinese toys are harmful, unsafe and quickly break. Meanwhile, the products of large, serious firms are actually distinguished by their quality and relatively low price.

I am glad that in recent years, less and less illegal handicrafts have been imported into Russia, which are produced by small, unscrupulous firms. Toys from China began to enjoy high demand, which are not only smartly designed and meticulously executed, but also protected by all the necessary quality certificates.

Probably, many people remember old Chinese toys - for example, transforming cars or dolls. After all, for 15 years they have faithfully served our children and were not even going to break down. This is the real Chinese quality.

Be more careful, check the manufacturer, study the quality certificate, and a toy from the Middle Kingdom will bring a lot of joy to your child!