Beauty and health of teeth 

What does it mean to truly love? What is love? True love and infatuation. Family. What does it really mean

What does it mean to truly love yourself?

It means to wake up in the morning and no longer think that there is someone luckier, more beautiful, smarter, wiser, better in the world.

It means looking in the mirror and not wanting to leave your reflection. Trust this reflection. It doesn't matter, with or without makeup, my mood doesn't matter either.

I just trust what shines and burns in my heart.

I know what it means to love yourself. No more waiting for some events, meetings, events, birthdays, graduations, weekends ... Do not wait for love and attention to yourself!

Allow yourself to be happy today, now. To look straight into the eyes of passers-by, without lowering your eyes to the dirty asphalt ... To know that the world around is as beautiful as it has always been.

I know what it means to love yourself. Rejoice in every success of loved ones, distant, departed, forgotten people. Rejoice in the fact that they live, create, breathe, achieve, achieve


Because their success does not diminish this fire inside me. I am not getting any less beautiful. I do not become less loved and protected. Because I am so deep that I can contain their success in myself.

I can be part of their joy. I am able to understand with every cell that their success is the success and joy of the whole world, which means, like the whole world, their success is a part of me too.


I know what it means to love yourself. No more complaining about life's difficulties. Love even these difficulties. To meet every obstacle with a smile and a sense of humor, realizing that behind all this lies growing strength and patience.

  • REAL, -and I, -her.

    1. The one that is taking place is happening now, at this time. [Flor Fedulych:] Don't you have a subscription for the current season? A. Ostrovsky, The Last Victim. At the present moment he was triumphant. L. Tolstoy, Childhood. An impenetrable thundercloud seemed to stand between the past and present life. Paustovsky, The Tale of the Forests.

    2. in meaning noun the present, -his, cf. given time; a set of events that are happening now, at a given time. Both of them were happy in the present and thought little about the future. Pushkin, Young lady-peasant. Pictures of the past, of the distant past, separated from the present by a whole wall of eleven years of barefoot life, quickly rushed before Chelkash. M. Gorky, Chelkash.

    3. Book. This, given. There is very little autobiographical element in my present work. Saltykov-Shchedrin, Poshekhonskaya antiquity. [Nyukhin:] I ​​suggest that you take my present lecture with due seriousness. Chekhov, On the dangers of tobacco.

    4. Genuine, true. Real coffee. Real gold. □ [Natasha (throws coins on the table):] All fake or all real. I don't know. M. Gorky, Counterfeit coin. Never in our lives have we seen real steamships, only in pictures. V. Belyaev, Old fortress. || Corresponding 401 to certain requirements, representing the best example, the ideal of someone, something. Real artist. □ - Pride and courage are the main qualities of a real person. Caterly, Bronze spinning wheel. Still such a harsh anniversary None of us knew for his life, But the heart of a real man Only becomes stronger in battle. Simonov Severe anniversary. || Sincere, unfeigned. And in the voice and on the tanned face of the father-in-law, sincere pity lurked, real, genuine human compassion. Tendryakov, Out of court.

    5. Representing a complete likeness of someone, something. On the roof of my hut stood a girl in a striped dress, with loose braids, a real mermaid. Lermontov, Taman. Some shells are real residential buildings: you look, and someone's mustache and paws stick out of them. Shuleikin, Days lived.

    6. Razg. Fully consistent with the quality of smth. (about price, value). The count concluded [the letter] with the fact that the price of the violin was real, that he did not slow down anything. Dostoevsky, Netochka Nezvanova.

    present tense (gram.) - the category of the verb, indicating the course of action in time, coinciding with the moment of speaking.

    Really- Seriously, as it should.

Source (printed version): Dictionary of the Russian language: In 4 volumes / RAS, Institute of Linguistics. research; Ed. A. P. Evgenieva. - 4th ed., erased. - M.: Rus. lang.; Polygraphic resources, 1999; (electronic version):

As long as we wait for a partner to solve our problems, fulfill our desires, fill the inner void and generally give meaning to our whole life, true love will remain for us ... inaccessible.

He (she) is it? Why is it so hard to meet your soul mate? How to understand that this is really love? And do they really love me? .. Our whole life with dreams of great love is built around such questions. They worry us, and we tirelessly ask them to ourselves, and sometimes to our partners. In the age of consumerism, when romance in flowers and chocolate hearts is sold every year on February 14 and March 8, and sex is increasingly being run by glossy magazines and intimate goods sellers, love is also becoming a consumer product. In a society where quick results without effort, win-win recipes and guarantees against any risks are quoted, we also unwittingly build our love into the format of instant profitability:“You disappoint me - we are less attracted to each other - that's it, it's time to leave!”

We want it hotter

“When the first love subsides and the relationship becomes smoother, many couples really break up,” confirms family psychotherapist Inna Khamitova. - Many men and women are sure that to truly love means to be completely in the flow of passion.. The pursuit of strong emotions is preferable to harmony, balance in relationships, the desire to get to know the world of your chosen one better. Some may even have an idea of ​​​​love as a kind of addiction, in terms of strength akin to a drug.

The thirst for continuous search is also fed by the Internet. “Thousands of new people come to meet every day,” boasts an advertisement for one of the popular dating sites. “And this means that there will always be a reason for a new meeting!” The ability to quickly browse, unlimited casting of candidates creates the illusion that we will certainly find what failed this time. “Dating on the Internet is a part of modern life, and in a certain sense they help out a modern person,” says psychotherapist Alexander Orlov. - On the other hand, they form in us a consumer attitude towards love: as if we are in a supermarket, where there is also a department of various partners ... Our communication becomes more intense, the process of acquaintance accelerates. The number of potential contacts is growing, but at the same time they are becoming more brief, ephemeral.”

Ideal is hard to give up.

The image of a handsome prince or a fairy-tale princess seems to still live in our dreams, without being embarrassed by everyday reality. “It is necessary to give up the ideal, almost incorporeal image of your partner in time, otherwise you can fall into the trap of your own delusions,” Inna Khamitova is sure. - When a life together begins, many can not stand the meeting with a real person. There are details that cannot be overlooked, but the ideal image of the beloved makes it difficult to recognize that he is the same person as we are, and we may not like everything about him". But how is that not all? After all, we dream of great, endless and unconditional love! “But only God can love like this,” those who have chosen the spiritual path say, moving away from the world behind the monastery walls. So how to combine the love of a man and a woman with such an unattainable height?

And those who are looking for a couple, and those who have been together for a long time - we all want true love: it seems to us the last chance to fully feel ourselves, to give meaning to our lives. “The view of love has changed a lot since the old days,” notes psychoanalyst Umberto Galimberti. - It seems that it has become the only area of ​​\u200b\u200blife in which we can be ourselves, freeing ourselves from other roles that society has loaded us with.».
Desperately, as never before, we place our hopes on love: that it will give everything that we lack, awaken a taste for life and certainly lead to happiness. But are we ready to make sacrifices for this goal? " The space of love is the only one in which our "I" is not bound by rules and can unfold freely, continues Umberto Galimberti. - Therefore, love contributes to the aggravation of our individualism. Today, men and women are looking for in it not so much a relationship with another as an opportunity to realize their "I". So it turns out that in order to realize ourselves, we need to love - and at the same time, loving is more difficult than ever. Since today we are looking for love through another person, indirectly, our own "I".
However, the desire for self-realization only for its own sake is contrary to the nature of true love: being born between two people, it changes both. Partners in their entirety are revealed not only for themselves, but also for each other. The meeting of two gives birth to a third, new character - their union, and this must be reckoned with. True love requires our patience, perseverance, a clear mind and the ability to accept things as they are. True love is an effort, our wager with life itself. And this love always returns a hundredfold what we have invested in it.

True love means...

American family therapist Harvill Hendricks, in his book How to Get the Love You Want, described ten important steps to advance on the path of true love.
…understand that there is a hidden purpose in our love relationships: to heal those spiritual wounds that each of the two of us carries in the soul from childhood.
...try to see a real person in a partner freed from their own illusions and unjustified expectations.
...love him unconditionally.
...caring for our relationship to improve them day by day.
...understand that the desires and needs of others just as important as our own.
...trust your partner by giving up the destructive habit of being unhappy.
...learn to see the dark side of your soul in order not to project them onto another, not to blame him for what we do not like about ourselves.
...seek strength and opportunity which we lack without expecting another to fill them.
...talk about your needs and wishes of a partner.
...understand and accept that true love is hard.
Why is love blind ?

Alfried Längle, MD, PhD, President of the International Society for Existential Analysis and Logotherapy (GLE-International).

Love is the rest of heaven on earth. Lovers have no problems, all the forces of the world are in their hands, they do not need sleep or food. But true love is different, it is seeing, it sees the human being. Love, they say, blinds. Why? In love, I see a person the way I want to see himb. I still know him so little that I fill everything with my desires.mi. Thus, I am always in love with my own performance. And that's what makes falling in love a heavenly experience, because in my mind there are no dark sides. In the other, we see his charm, attractiveness, eroticism. And on these carnations we hang our ideas about him.

About it:


  • Carl Rogers"Marriage and its alternatives", Eterna, 2006.

  • Erich Fromm"The Art of Loving", Azbuka-klassika, 2008.

  • Allan and Barbara Pease"Why do men want sex, and women want love", Eksmo, 2009.

Every person dreams of a real love, but most people live their lives like this without experiencing happiness and without understanding how it is to truly love? Many marry without love, believing that the main thing in life is family, wealth, fame and career. Of course, all this at the initial stage of family relationships leads to the satisfaction of desires, but over the years everyone realizes that money, wealth and fame are not what is needed for happiness. Then life is filled with emptiness and the feeling that it was impossible to treat the issue of creating a family so easily and marry without waiting for true love. Everyone needs it like air.

Of course, in youth not everyone can understand how to distinguish true and sincere love from another that quickly passes. In fact, not everyone can truly love, this is a special gift or art that needs to be learned and comprehended. Love is a feeling that comes as a gift to a person who has a rich inner world and a wonderful character. Selfish, selfish and arrogant people are not able to truly love. In order to understand if you are truly in love, you need to know the signs of true love that will help you recognize it among other superficial feelings that you will meet along your life path. And here they are:

1. strong attraction. If you don’t just like a person, but you suddenly began to notice something in his behavior that you are pleased to see how he smiles, moves, turns his head, speaks and behaves, then this is a sign of true love. True love is hot, passionate and painful. However, it should not be confused with that feeling of physical attraction to a partner, when you are waiting for a meeting, like a holiday, and you burn with impatience to see you sooner. This is only the initial stage of the development of relations, when the lovers do not yet experience deeper feelings for each other. They are brought together only by physical sensations, they are excited by touch and feel an increased heartbeat.

True love is based not only on physical attraction, but also on the spiritual. This is when you like a person not because he is handsome, slim and attractive, but when you are drawn to him as to a close and dear person. A truly in love person accepts a partner for who he is. If you notice that the person you like has flaws and you hope to correct him in the future, then this is a sign that you do not feel true love for him. True love is blind, your loved one becomes the best for you. You like everything about him, and the way he looks, and the way he behaves, and what he dreams about and talks about.

2. Another way of thinking. When you truly love, they make a person happy. He begins to think and think differently. A man in love enjoys life, begins to love himself and pushes his partner to this. If you are looking for ways to make your partner jealous, suffer and spend money on you, then this is not true love. True love is devoted and unselfish.

You will always strive to do everything possible to bring joy to your loved one. You will be primarily interested in what you can give, not what you can receive. A truly in love person is constantly looking for ways to solve the problems that a loved one has, and does not wait for him to make his life better. True love inspires a person to exploits, because of it a person's self-esteem rises and new plans for the future appear.


4. No Doubt. If, despite the fact that relatives and acquaintances tell you about the unseemly aspects of the partner’s character, you do not pay any attention to this and you have no doubts about him, then this is a sign of true love. When you truly love, you idealize your partner and consider him the only one. There can be no doubt about what kind of husband or wife he will be.

Are you sure that you found that person, whom you have been looking for all your life and want to see him next to you all your life. You fully accept him for who he is and are ready to go with him to share with him everything that you have. You want to create a family with your loved one and have common children.

At one of my seminars, where about one and a half hundred young people gathered, I conducted a quick survey. First, he asked the female half of the audience: who is for a traditional family, with a registry office, a wedding and the subsequent, perhaps, difficult life? A forest of hands, although there were clearings: having burned themselves in boiling water, the women blew on the water - they were afraid to repeat the negative experience. The same question addressed to the men: only three hands went up.

I lowered the bar for men's responsibility and asked them to vote for "guest marriage." In response, about a dozen sluggish hands above their heads. The rest of the men of the relationship in any form - do not care. At the same time, they somehow solve the issues of their sexual pleasures. And after that you will tell me that the information weapon does not work? Information snipers accurately hit the target, it is practically hit, but not completely and not everywhere.

Back to sanity. The formula for common sense is as follows: first you need to find out how it was before (traditions, customs), take into account personal experience (if any) and get advice from a specialist on this issue.

Before. There used to be a family, and it did not consist of five children and two parents, which makes a total of seven, but from seven generations. Let's count: great-grandfather-grandfather-father-I-son-grandson-great-grandson. This is a family where seven generations live at the same time. In such a family, the transmission of traditions, experiences will come from mouth to ear, and not from TV to a relaxed mind. There is no doubt that in such a family all great-grandchildren will vote for the family, as in their family. In general, this is a vote for the continuation of the family, for the future, for new achievements.

There is another aspect to this view of the family. Health. The life of one generation lasts approximately twenty-five years. This means that the patriarch - the great-grandfather of a correct, normal family should be 175 years old, or even more. Fantasy! But once it was like that, from those bygone times, and the word is family. Phew! Let's take a break.

What happens? To create a family, you need cast-iron health. Those three who are for the traditional family, march to the yojibo courses, where you will receive universal training and knowledge. Women - go there, and if you have a child - go through the procedure pelero* to maintain health and the desire to give birth again.

Let the reserved dream of a family live in your heads and accomplishments. This is not a myth, but the most, that neither is reality. And I will help in any way I can. If you listen to me.

P.S. I can illustrate the above with my family - four children by today's standards - a large family.

*Pelero - swaddling women in labor - an ancient technology for maintaining women's health after childbirth.