Should I call a man first? When can you call first? Women's secrets. Rules for calling girls

Should a girl call first, ask for a phone number, start flirting, talk to a guy she likes - such conversations are not at all new, and discussions on this topic have been going on for a very long time, and there is still no single point of view. It would seem that all sources will unanimously say that a girl should not be the first to take any steps towards a relationship, and in general, she should remain a mystery throughout the relationship. But even then there will be those who will break these rules, there will be new discussions: is it possible to break them and what will happen.

You must determine for yourself what it means for you to take the first step, and how you want your chosen one to behave in terms of initiative. Some like to show it, others like to accept and respond to signs of attention. But, despite all this, each of us acts according to the situation, choosing the more correct choice, according to the level of the relationship, the nature of the couple, the circumstances, the mood at the moment.

Some girls are very worried about the lack of initiative of their chosen one. If the guy stops calling them for a while, or she notices that he has become much less likely to show signs of attention, such remarks become a clear sign of concern. The girl begins to suggest to herself that the guy has cooled off towards her, that now he doesn’t need her at all, and most likely during this time (albeit a very short one) he managed to fall in love with another girl and completely forget the previous one. Maybe she's not his girlfriend at all, and now she's even starting to annoy him? While the girl repeatedly thinks about the reasons why this happens, reconsiders the history of the relationship and looks for another catch in herself, the guy can be busy with his studies, the birthday of his beloved sister, some kind of problem that his friend suddenly had, or wait until he the girl will call. And why not, because he thought she liked him?

Agree, the situation is not new and it looks pretty stupid. Why then does this happen? Why do we often torment ourselves with the question: should a girl be the first to call her boyfriend (the advice of a psychologist in such a situation seems to us simply necessary!)? And why, when we choose for ourselves the answer to this question, we continue to lose ourselves in doubts, worry about the same incident and are still not sure of our actions?

Psychologists say that the reason for our anxiety in case of waiting for a call is due to the fact that we adjust the partner to the stereotype of our thinking. After all, the fact that a girl should take the first step is really a stereotype. It is also the fact that a man should take the first step, as well as constantly show signs of attention to his girlfriend, give her gifts and, of course, remind her how much he loves her from time to time so that she has no reason to doubt.

We do not need stereotypes, in fact, they are stuck in our minds from early childhood. Each of us grows in the world from already formed certain stereotypes, norms of society. After all, the fact that a man calls you less often does not mean that he has become less fond of you, and vice versa - do you really think that a man's love depends on the constancy of his calls?

If this really means a lot to you and you need your boyfriend to call you first, tell him about it. After all, it is much better to warn about your desires, to discuss frankly what you need - and then you will no longer have to suffer from guesswork.

Indeed, otherwise, it may happen that people, instead of just loving each other, supporting, spending free time together and “treating” each other from the surrounding stresses, begin to think about how they should behave, what should be done, to save a relationship, how to make a man call first, how to hint to a guy about his desires. From this it turns out that the girls worry in vain, and there are too many unnecessary thoughts that pose only a threat to your relationship.

In fact, it does not matter at all who does what first, who does second or third, how he does it and whether he corresponds to the stereotypical ideal. It doesn’t sound trite - but be yourself, leave all unnecessary worries about this, because if you have a boyfriend, it means that he has already chosen you and you, of course, are the best girl for him, otherwise he would spend time with by someone else.

There are many different stereotypes that make us doubt our actions. One of them is that a woman should remain impregnable, constantly attract her companion, because when she is the first to show some feelings for him, she will cease to be interesting to him. This is not true. A goal that cannot be achieved is vain, and interest in it falls as quickly as in a goal immediately acquired. Guys also feel the need for us to prove our love to them, so that we respond to their signs of attention and recognize them as our only and best patrons.

In a relationship, feelings and sincerity, the strength of your love, are important. Be more sincere with your partner, if something bothers you about the two of you - share it with him, suddenly it doesn’t matter to you, and otherwise, you can solve this problem together, because you are one. Choose for yourself what matters, and what is a trifle, and what you should not pay attention to.

By adapting to other people's beliefs, you only limit your life. When asking yourself if a girl should be the first to call her boyfriend, leave out the “should” particle and think: do I want to call him now? Do I need it? Would he like it now, and would it be appropriate? The advice of a psychologist, first of all, is based precisely on your feelings.

If yes - do not torture yourself with doubts, because love is not a theater, and not a formula, act as you see fit and as you feel.

Although how to say, if by the word “sex” they meant precisely sexual intercourse, and not love, then it may well be. In those days, it seemed that there was no “deficit” in men, for every woman there was a man somewhere. And it never occurred to them that they needed to call a man and invite him on a date. And what do we have now? Many years have passed, and we still suffer from these stereotypes and are afraid to be the first to call our beloved guy. Horror. What is a woman to do in this situation? How to behave? Everything is not so simple as it seems at first glance, since we do not know exactly how men feel when a woman calls first.

Now young people do not even think about what impression the guys will have about them, they just take a mobile phone and dial his number or just write a message. And there are no problems. They feel free and can do as they see fit. But what do guys think about them? Is it good when a woman calls first? Is it moral? This is most often thought of by their mothers, who are accustomed to, to put it mildly, a different time and values.

Everything is not so scary, sometimes men even have a positive attitude towards such a situation. Due to their constant employment, they do not have time to reach the phone, but this already depends on men.

According to numerous surveys on this topic, men answered that they were very happy when a woman calls first, as this shows her interest in this or that man. And accordingly, he is looking for communication with him. But at the same time, women should also remember that if a man does not call for one or two days, this is not scary, you just need to be patient. You can worry if even after a week your half has not dialed your phone number. The main thing in this case is not to be intrusive and show him that you still highly value yourself. It must also be remembered that usually the one who loves calls more often, and your call will flatter any man and increase his self-esteem.

Often, sitting in front of the phone, we have a question, like Hamlet, to call or not to call? Call. Here is the answer of many psychologists. Do not delay in clarifying the current situation. How do men feel about this behavior? It is safe to say that they will appreciate it. History remembers many cases when a woman called her chosen one first and found excellent pretexts for this. And the man himself did not notice how he had already fallen into her network. A well-thought-out pretext is half the battle. Do not call him with claims that he does not call. It only turns men off.

Sometimes it’s scary to call the first time, because women don’t know what to say with this man and don’t call for this reason. Sometimes men, which may seem ridiculous, are afraid to call first for the same reason as women. And this is normal, because we never fully know about the feelings of the opposite sex until we hear it from their lips. It turns out that men are also susceptible, like women, so everything is treated carefully and sensually.

From the foregoing, we can conclude that it does not matter whether the woman calls first or the man. The important thing is that one of them will do it and perhaps a new love story will begin to develop. And the world will be filled with joy and love from their beating hearts. At the same time, the main thing is moderation in everything: in calls and words. Remember this before you call the man first.