How to establish cash issues in the family? The issue of financial confidence in the family - how to organize the order for money

14.06.2019

One of you is extremely careful about money, and another time spends everything earned? Our tips will help you restore the understanding in the family.

Psychologists are recognized that they have become increasingly faced with a whole series of similar cases. In the past few years, they are treated for the help of a pair, which from the side might seem just perfect. These families are not bad, they have excellent children and wonderful opportunities, and they could be quite happy together if not one "but": spouses are constantly quarreling because of money in the family.

Discussion of almost any issue of money causes them a storm of emotions and a lot of disagreements.

How much can you spend on vacation?

Do I need to save on the education of children now?

Should I take a loan to buy a new car or wait until repairs in the apartment?

How much to give children to pocket expenses?

Money in the family - solid disagreements?

Spouses, who in all of the rest are well launched with each other, do not constantly agree on the issues of "family money". Why is this happening?

First of all, because each of us has our ideas about how and what you need to spend money. But until recently, cash issues have not been discussed in our country.

It was considered not quite decent even inside the family, and we were not used to talking about money clearly, calmly and essentially. And if we are not talking about it, even with the most close people, it may be that the financial preferences of the spouse or spouse are found only after the wedding, and it is not easy to negotiate.

Should I say to each other a clean truth about your income and expenses? Or something better to leave with you?

Tell me how to discuss cash issues in the family ...

Money in the family: Problem number 1

You often draw information about the true amount of your expenses from each other.

Decision

Of course, it is not about reporting to each other for each pieces of juice. But by and large, the more honest you and your husband in the issues of money in the family, the easier you will help each other if something goes wrong.

It's one thing if you have doubled the price of the purchased shoes, the other - if you, without even putting a husband, do a large purchase on credit.

And when it turns out that alone with payments not to cope, then you are in a very unpleasant situation when you have to admit and ask for help.

If you are in this position, first of all, find out exactly how much you still have to pay, what is your interest rate, is there a penalty for early repayment of the loan.

Of course, the husband will be angry, and upset, and will be sure that you are secretly allowed to pull yourself into a similar adventure. But the man is much easier to take up the solution to the problem when he has specific information, and you need to provide it. And, of course, the main advice on the future: the smaller you have financial secrets, the less likely that your relationship with the spouse will be spoiled when the secret will become clear.

Money in the family: Problem number 2

The husband earns you much more and therefore believes that everything can solve himself, without your participation.

Decision

At first glance, it may seem that the basis of this problem is financial disagreements, but in fact this issue of money in the family is much wider.

In families, where the husband earns a much more wife, its sphere of influence is usually not limited to monetary issues: he seeks to make decisions independently that relate to other areas of life.

As a result, you find yourself in a subordinate position, it all upsets you most, and it is necessary to work on it. "When talking with her husband, a psychologist advises," proceed from the fact that you are a family, you are partners, and therefore should make decisions together. If the husband solves everything on his own, he, in essence, goes like a loner, and you are a couple. "

Money in the family: Problem number 3

The husband earns much more than you, but at the same time you share everyday expenses exactly in half.

Decision

Ideally, you need to discuss similar questions even before you make a joint economy. But, if this did not happen, and the division of the costs 50/50 seems to you unfair, the question must be discussed.

If the spouses have a separate budget in a western pattern, it would be fair to share everyday expenses in proportion to the salary.

It may very much that a man does not quite give himself a report that you spend almost all your money on the family.And for him this amount is not too burdensome. To not be unfounded, show him checks and accounts. As we have said, men are much more successful for accurate numbers and facts.

Money in the family: Problem number 4

When you began to live together, my husband had temporary money difficulties, but since then several years have passed, and difficulties do not complete all, and you have to provide a family.

Decision

This question requires immediate discussion and decisions. If you are silent, a man believes that everything is in order. And he is unlikely to change something, if for several years he has been able to live comfortably at the expense of money earned by you.

Most likely, you will have to clarify the essence of the problem and take her decision to your hands..

Here, the whole thing is that it prevents the man to provide a family. Let's say if he has debts associated with loan payments for the car, it is worth thinking about selling it to pay off a loan ahead of time and look after a more economical model.

If the problem is that it cannot find a suitable job, together pick up the employment agency and help them see a resume.

The most important thing is to make it clear that you are not going to make money for two, But at the same time they are ready to provide all-in-making assistance in solving the problem.

Money in the family: Problem number 5

You want you to have a common family budget, but the husband insists that everyone should be for themselves, "as in civilized countries."

Decision

Yes, "In civilized countries", spouses often prefer to conduct a separate budget, especially if they have children from previous marriages. But what is accepted in other countries does not always work with us. And therefore a man who wants to have his own money outside the family, most often causes a mass alarms. He does not trust me? Or does not want to stay with me for a long time? Or are our relationship for him are not so important?

As a rule, such a monetary question is actually a matter of trust. And to understand why the situation develops in such a way, you need to know about the past of your husband.

Perhaps the first marriage ended in divorceand the scandalous section of the property and your husband still remembers him with shudder? Or in your relationship with him there is something that interferes with mutual trust? In any case, if you do not suit the separate budget, this question must be discussed.

Are there any conditions in which the spouse would change their point of view? Maybe he agrees to start a compromise? For example, have a common account for paying daily expenses and spending related to children, and separate accounts for everything else? Think about the fact that in a separate budget running there are advantages: if each of you has your money, you do not need to report before your husband for when and what you spent.

Money in the family: Problem number 6

Your husband wants to put family accumulations into a high degree of risk.

Decision

You may need to turn to financial analytics to soberly assess the degree of risk.It may very well be that the contribution that seems to you extremely risky is in fact almost just as reliable as a bank deposit. But maybe there is no, and then it is better to know about it for sure.

Men are much easier to go to the financial risk. Women in this respect are much more careful - they will rather agree to keep money at home, what will be seduced by high interest from the game on the stock exchange.

If the financial analyst did not dispel your fears, then think about share your accumulations into two parts. Let one part lie on the account in a secure bank, and it will give you the necessary sense of security. The second part can be investigated into thefts, as your husband wants, but at the same time it is necessary to take a very responsibility to choose the foundation, carefully check the history of his work and only after that make a contribution.

Money in the family: Problem number 7

You will quite differently imagine how you need to spend money.

Decision

In this case, the separate management of the "Family Money" may turn out to be a great output from: Thus, you will stop arguing because of the smallest detail and spoil the mood of each other. But with regard to long-term planning, you will still have to negotiate, without it it is quite difficult to live together under one roof.

For example, if one of you easily spends money, and the second, on the contrary, very lean, try to make a plan of expenses.

Think out when you can afford your vacation on the sea or buying a car, calculate how much you can spend on it. Thus, a lean spouse will be easier to break up with money, if it is planned and thoughtful expenses. And the one who loves to spend will get what he wants.

Money in the family: Problem number 8

You left work to care for your child, but realized that you don't like to depend on my husband at all.

Decision

The birth of the first child always promises a lot of surprises, And not all of them can be called pleasant. It is hardly possible to assume that you will be so frustrating the lack of work and, as a result, your own money.

It is for this reason that many women feel especially vulnerable.

First of all, you need to figure out what exactly you are worried. What do you need to ask for money from her husband for every little thing? Or do you think he underestimates your work?

Be that as it may, the best solution in this situation is a fixed amount, Which you get once a month and can spend at your own discretion. Refer to this as a business agreement. In the end, if you did not sit at home with the child, you would have to find a nanny and pay her salary.

And if you are so concerned about this question, and the husband does not understand your money hints, find a job. What I did, as soon as the baby turned 6 months. And now earn more than it, but this is another problem ...

"I like the idea that the money is also available as the air that I breathe. I like the thought that I inhale and exhale money. Have fun to see how much money flows. I see how my attitude to money It affects the money coming to me. I am happy from understanding that after some practice I can control my attitude to money or anything. I noticed that the more these words aloud, this magic story about abundant, the better I feel .

I like to know that I myself create my own reality and that the money that flows into my life is directly connected with my thoughts. I like to know that I can change the number of money received by changing my thoughts.

Now, when I understand that I get the essence of what I think, and most importantly - now, when I understand that, thanks to feelings, I can determine whether I focus on money or in their absence, I feel confident that with We agree to your thoughts with abundance, and the money will abundantly flow into my life.

I understand that people surrounding me are viewed from very different points of view money, wealth, expenses, savings, returns and receiving money, making money and that I do not need to understand their opinions and experiences. I learned relief that I don't need to understand everything. It is very pleasant to know that my task is only to coordinate my thoughts about money with your own desires about the money, and that when I feel good, it means that I gained consistency. I like to know that it is absolutely normal from time to time to experience negative emotions regarding money. But I intend to quickly direct my thoughts in a more pleasant direction, because for me it is logical that thoughts that are felt pleasant bring positive results. The first testimony of my consistency with money will be more pleasant sensations, improving mood and looks for life, and then, soon, the present changes will follow in my financial position. I'm sure of this.

I realize the direct link between what I think and feel in relation to the money, and the fact that in reality it happens in my life. "

Folk Signals

Do you work a lot, but there is always a little money? Are you trying to postpone money, but does not work? Perhaps the case in non-compliance with people will accept. In this article we will tell you what to do to make money in the house.

Following the signs, you will not only save yourself from trouble, but also attract good luck and money. Many people know about birds, as well as about the fact that the right palm itches to the money. And the fact that, giving a loan, you need to keep a rusty nail in your pocket?

Some signs will seem strange, but many believe them.

How to give or take a debt?

I can not give a debt on Monday - all the money will lose. You can not transfer money from hand to hand, you need to put, for example, on the table, but only then take. Otherwise, along with money, a poor human energy will go to you. If you are responsible in the evening, put money on the floor, and the other person should raise them. In general, it is believed that in the evening it is better not to give a debt.

You need to give money only in the morning and only small bills. When you give you a debt, keep the fig on your left in your pocket.

To make money in the house

Money in the wallet must lie in the deployment, bills of different dignity in order. Paper money must be stored for your face. Also in the wallet you need to store a piece of wood from the jack of swallows so that money does not disappear. Attracting money laid in wallet aspen leaf, mint leaves and pinching cinnamon. If you get big profit, take one bill from there, put it in the wallet, do not waste and do not explicate. When we give someone a wallet, you can put a bill in it so that it is never empty.

In the house the money needs to be stored under the tablecloth, at night - under the canlenka. To lure money into the house, you need to put a large bills three days before the full moon under the oil moon.

To make money in the house, you need to put on a coin at every corner of the room, saying "Let it arrive in my house." The broom must keep the handle down, hang the mirror in the kitchen or next to the table. Money at home needs to be stored in envelopes or bags of red on the eastern or south-eastern side of the house. It is worth buying a money tree, care for him and put a pot with him to the south-east.

Other signs

Always consider passing, money loves the score;

You can not spend on some thing all the money from the wallet, make sure that money remains in the wallet;

Eat blueberries more, it contributes to health and wealth;

Nails need to cut on Tuesday or Friday;

In pure Thursday you need to recalculate money;

It is necessary to wash the water in which coins were lying for the New Year, in Easter and the Grand Thursday;

Put money under the pillow newborn.

Signs are rather strange, but there are more memorable:

Quit the palm of the earth through the head;

Put a living bumblebee in a chest, wallet or pocket;

Catch the left hand of the beetle-water meter and carry it with you;

Put in the nest swallow coin nine days;

Throw a big stone on a visit, saying: "Let the host money be heavy just like this stone";

In Yuriev, a day on a non-cube of a silver ring, cut off the head of a bat, wrap it into this canvas and bury it in front of the threshold of the house or in a chest with money.

Signs may appear to be stupid, but there are beliefs in which everyday wisdom is traced:

Do not discuss the incomes of other people, then there will be no one;

No need to hate beggars and rich, then you will never live in prosperity;

It is necessary to give alms to the beggar, it is believed that on Sunday you need to spend the whole trifle from the wallet or give it to the poor, otherwise only minor money will be found, but you can not give out of bread or salt.

There are signs related to animals:

If the cat stretches, then this is advantage;

In Japan, if the cat holds the left paw on the ear, then there will be many visitors in the shop;

In China, if someone else's cat appears at home, it is to poverty;

If in a dream to see the evil cat - it is to the theft;

Houses must live a cat or a dog, otherwise there will be no wealth;

Black dog, a cat or rooster will save home from thieves.

There are new year signs. To live in sufficiency all the next year, you need:

New Year must be found in new socks, underwear and with new hairstyle;

At the table to try 7 different dishes, and under the chair put 7 coins;

I need to give debts before the new year, even at the festive table;

During the first strike, the chimes will make a desire, squeezing in his left hand coin;

Throw into a glass with a champagne coin, drink it, to make a hole in the coin and wear it as a pendant;

There is also superstitions that carry losses:

To put empty bottles on the table, sit on the table, put money on the table, at sunset to sweep the garbage from the house, stand on the threshold, whistle at home, swapping money into smaller.

Usually in families where both spouses work, one of them must earn more than the other, and this is considered quite normal. And no one believes that it is he who bears the burden of ensuring most family spending. But there are exceptions. What causes many conflicts, and false suspicions that one of the spouses makes everything in a family, and the second allows itself an overnight spending that belongs exclusively to meet personal needs, not family needs.

In order for the material side of the family life, it should be a step towards the destruction of relationships, it is necessary to initially clearly determine how to conduct finance in the family.

Family budget formation is a responsible moment in the life of a young family.

Family budget.

Money and family budget is a mandatory part of our life with which we are faced daily, and without it is not possible normal existence. Existing finance in the family, especially impressive amounts, can create an illusion of permissiveness and complete control of every aspect of life as their own and their environment. This is the cause of most misunderstandings, irritability and as a result of frequent divorces.

According to psychologists - money, this is "the third not superfluous" in the relations of partners, with whom it is also necessary to learn to get out. This is especially difficult for people who before marriage led an independent life, and used to dispose of their money themselves, or vice versa did not do it before. Financial disputes can cause different reasons. This can be explained by the fact that with a limited number of finance, a person is in a state of stress, and will splash all the negative emotions, which have accumulated during the time, in the case of rapid waste, especially if there was no need for this. In the case when the family's income cannot be called small, respectively increases and not always justified the needs that again increases costs, and the result is again the scandal.

Many cases are known when the couples decided to divorce money because of the money decelers, and most of the broken-produced process was divided into a division of common property, it was reached that several months shared the service, or a set of cutlery.

Therefore, the formation of a family budget will be the ability to avoid rapid waste for you, and at the same time can be given the opportunity to independently manage finances without remorse.

With finance on you.

If you seemingly earlier earlier, and there is still not enough money, then the situation does not correspond to reality, or you simply do not control your spending. Especially you should think if it turns out, you started spending even more than you earn, using credit cards for this, and tightening in debts. This situation can continue until they live like both spouses and everything suits them. But usually it happens rarely, and one lives on a wide foot, and the second is trying to save on everything you can. As a result, all the efforts are reduced at best on zero, at worst in minus. Usually from the absence of an inviolable cash supply, and some guarantees for the future, the "economical" partner is constantly in stressful state, which is clearly reflected in his behavior, marital relations and the general emotional state of the family. In this case, the best option will be the formation of a wasteful spouse or spouse habits to control their costs. For this, certain agreements are suitable between partners in which. If they are not executed, and spending continue, it is better to give the opportunity to conduct finance in the family more economical partner.

Such a situation is especially characteristic of young couples who have not previously disposed of money independently, had a limited number of finance, or belonged to different social sectors of the population.

We act.

If in the family initially developed that everyone in its own financial plan, it is necessary to drastically change this situation. After all, the best option, if the family does not share money on "yours" and "mine", and all funds brought to the house are common.

Forming the family budget is necessary from conversation and discussion. If you want a harmonious marriage, believe me without communicating on this topic can not do. Together, highlight the list of costs that usually occur for a certain period. Further select, among these costs the most necessary, which cannot be excluded. For example, it can be utility payments, payment of kindergartens, credit payments, gasoline costs, food, pre-known events or holidays and other. Further define the so-called additional costs that you can afford, but they do not carry a permanent character, for example, buying clothes, appliances, furniture. After the distribution of the main and additional costs, you may have some free money. You can spend this money without a remorse of conscience to your little whims, family holidays or postpone for larger shopping.

For further cost control, you can keep the semblance of a home accounting book, in which you will record everything that you left. Thus, then you easily like the total amount of the wretched, compare it with income and you can exclude unwanted purchases.

Taking advantage of the simple advice on the question of how finances in the family are underway, you will soon learn to live by means, and without feeling some kind of disadvantage or an extreme shortage of anything. The main thing is that you have a desire to take a step to a meeting and change your habits, because further decisions can be directly dependent on the family, their reliability duration and well-being. Do not put money above all, because in life there are many more valuable things that do not pay off by any number of banknotes.

Money is a vital resource, disposal of money gives people confidence in the possibility of survival and well-being. Loss of the ability to dispose of money is psychologically perceived as a threat not only to social, but also physical well-being. At the same time, it is not so important - whether you face actual death from hunger or deprivation of housing, since the historically fixed program "Money \u003d survival" works unconsciously.

There are several reasons for difficulties that interfere with spouses to solve financial issues inside the family.

Different values \u200b\u200bof spouses

Money is a service tool and maintaining your values. We exchange money on what we consider important for yourself: pleasure, appearance, things, status, commitment to loved ones.

So, buying tickets to the theater, we serve our aesthetic needs or needs for entertainment, buying expensive accessories, serve our social status needs, traveling with your family, we follow our family values.

Not always in the family of spouses exactly coincide with the values, and the hierarchy of these values, rather exact coincidence - a rare case. If the values \u200b\u200bare different, the situation arises when a single cash resource needs to be spent on servicing the various values \u200b\u200bof the spouses. Conversation about money is often a conflict of interest:

Dear clothes or savings "for a black day"?

The spouse can be in priority his image and the status impression that he produces on people, he is ready to put on this serious cash flow. And the spouse is more worried about the stability, and she feels calm only when in the honeycomb lies a round amount of money. There is a conflict of values: imaging against confidence and calm.

Vacation or car?

The wife can strive on vacation, even on credit, because it is important for her to break out, spend time away from the routine, get new impressions. The value of getting pleasure can stand in a very high priority. And the husband may want to acquire an expensive car, as it is necessary to match the level that is installed at its work.

Please note that we are not easy with the collision of interests, but with a deeper issue, the issue of life values \u200b\u200bthat are satisfied by money. That is why in financial disputes it is not easy to give up, as we must come from our values, and not just momentary desires.

Of course, the thing is that your "Wishlist" is seeing reasonable and necessary. And if not necessary, so excuses. And other people's wishes ... Well, how can I want it at all ?? Or it is so insignificant that you can suffer.

Exercise "My Values"

This psychological practice is done together with the partner:

- Take two sheets of paper and write a list of your values.

- Note the values \u200b\u200bof their importance in your life

- Near each value, write two three ways of how you realize or you can feel the presence of this value in your life.

Example:

Value: close people. As implementing: I spend time with your family, I help parents
Value: Health. As implementing: I go to inspections, I am engaged in sports, I eat it right
Value: Career. As implementing: I work with full return, I study additionally, studying the possibility of enhancing the service

Compare your list with your husband's list (wife).

Well, if the values \u200b\u200bof the spouses coincide or very close. In this regard, the marriages of people from one cultural medium have always been valued. This is not a prejudice, but a reasonable reason. People brought up in similar coordinate systems is easier to negotiate on important issues, including financial. If the spouses were brought up in a different cultural, educational, religious, financial environment, then their valuables and understanding of what to spend money to spend, can vary greatly.

Different ideas about how to live is a frequent foundation for family conflicts. The more the views of the spouses about how life should be arranged, the less problems will be. For example, if both consider thrift, financial responsibility. Or, on the contrary, both feel great, belonging to the money is frivolous (perhaps such spouses will begin purely financial problems, but there may not be conflicts around the finance). Also important submission of spouses about who disposed of family money. So, if both spouses believe that the husband is managed by money in the family, there is no soil for discord.

However, it happens not always. Different presentations of spouses about how life should be arranged - normal, frequent phenomenon, a typical picture. One of the natural and mandatory marriage tasks is to reconcile different systems of views of two different people, without trying to "break" or raise a partner.

Naive and dangerous for family life, believe that if a partner loves you, he will want the same thing that you: should, since he loves!

Different vectors of spouses

Marriage is the Union of two people, only partly connected with each other actual and psychological obligations, in any marriage, even with very merged relationships there remains a territory free from the partner.

People living together are:

- Individual goals

A person needs something personally for himself: things, entertainment and so on. The second it may be only to calm the partner. If calm and good mood of a spouse is not seen important, then the individual goals of the other do not care at all, they are only an obstacle to satisfying his own needs.

Individual goals of spouses are often becoming a host of hostilities, the most popular topics for collisions here:

- Children from previous marriages

- Parents

- Toys, accessories, hobbies, passion for which your partner does not share. These things for all their explicit option in life can delay a significant financial resource.

- joint goals

Traditional joint goals can be attributed to, for example, learning children or real estate.

Joint objectives may also become a subject of discord because of different landmarks and values. So, for example, a joint goal - the repair of the house can cause hot spores because of a different idea of \u200b\u200bhow much you need to spend on such things as the interior (values \u200b\u200bregarding the lifestyle).

Also bad relationships in a pair are constantly the cause of conflicts in the field of joint goals. In this case, the question is relevant - to whom with a completely probable divorce will belong to the general real estate.

Money - disputed territory

The difficulties of talking about money include the fact that the money is always a disputed territory in marriage.

Whose money? Who earned? But the second often provided such an opportunity, causing, for example, for children in which both partners were interested.

Money in marriage equally? But often the one who earned more claims great rights in the decision, where money will go, and this is understandable.

There are no clear framework and rules in the Financial Territory section.

When talking about money, it is important to take these subtleties, good tactics - to ask directly from a partner how he sees finances in the family - common, partly by common or separate.

Psychological merger of spouses

The psychological merger of marriage partners has a negative impact on the ability of people to constructively negotiate money issues. A person in merging, as it were, "assigns" a spouse to himself and believes that his thoughts and intentions should be identical to his own. In this case, there is no willingness to see a reality and understand that you are really another person.

While people only meet, the total future and mutual commitments are not defined, everything is calm. People feel the border between their and someone else's monetary territory. Although women tend to qualify for male monetary territory before marriage: a woman, as a rule, expects a man to spend money on her even during courtship.

When the couple comes into marriage or just begins to live together, the future begins to see the common, personal boundaries are shifted. After that, the partner of the partner "on itself" seems to be a threat to personal well-being, since the financial resource seems to be general.

Not always, at the same time, changes in each spouse are symmetrical to the change of partner. That is, one often thinks still in terms of "mine" and "yours" money, and the other is already completely "our" money.

- spent money on fishing gear ?? How? This is knowing that the son has no winter clothes!

- Bought a new coat? This despite the fact that I save to pay a mortgage and work as damned! And why, by the way, a new coat, if she does not leave the house, sits with a child ...

- Wants money for scenic lessons? I would prefer to postpone at least something on a black day, and not spend on any nonsense.

- Dear bag? And my spending on the technique criticizes ...

When the spouses combined the boundaries and became no "me" and "you", and "we", the waste of a partner, his manner handle the money resource becomes critical. Money is seen by common, even if it is clear that someone earned more. When a partner spends money "on himself", that is, that personally, he (but not you!) He considers it important, you feel the infringement of your needs and threat to personal well-being.

When merging borders, the spouses may have a infantal need for the part that the partner certainly understood your gusts (the tendency to buy shoes, buy expensive accessories, equipment, live in expensive hotels, give money to relatives). Ideally, the partner even must share them. Often, the family consultations arises the topic that people want their spouse would certainly want the same as they.

By itself, desire is neither good nor bad. Problems arise when there are expectations that your needs should be in focus of attention, but there is no readiness to see and meet the needs of another.

"So the wife may want her husband to be indulgent to her spent on jewelry, but be intolerable to his spent in restaurants in friends."

- A woman can expect family money to go to her training (personal needs for development), but resent if the husband gives a lot of money to his family (the need to follow their family values).

- A man can demand from his wife understanding to spendingm. to your sports hobbies, but Intrampimically treat her wishes to start a cash resource on stupidity of the type of care or clothes.

Liftenness of money resource

The basis of monetary conflicts - the multidirectional of interests and needs is on the main basis - limited money resource.

The money resource is always finite, no one has access to an infinite cash flow. Even if there are a lot of money, other people apply for this piece of life resource who want to dispose of them on their own way.

In any amount of money, the idea of \u200b\u200bthe deficit of funds is laid, since the needs for which money is spent, grow all the time. We can not, earning more, remain at the same level of consumption. Big money requires lifestyle changes, the more money, the higher the need, spending. Yesterday you lacked money for a decent costume, and today on elite real estate. The money has become more than more, the problems in psychological relations are essentially the same.

In rich families, the same struggle for the life resource can go - money as in the poor, only on a different level. Small pearls may cause the same chagrins as liquid soup.

When the money resource is limited (albeit wide frames), the winning of the monetary territory with one person (big spends on it) can be perceived by members of his family as damage. Since the amount of money and material goods is limited, then you can win something only by redistribution at the expense of another. Well, if there is a good relationship in the family, and partners are able to receive altruistic pleasure from the joy of the other. But this happens not always and the section of the life resource in the form of money can turn into a real war.

Money as a symbol of relationships

The monetary policy in the family is always associated with the relationships of love and power. Often, people express their love using a cash resource, and often in terms of the amount of money allocated, people tend to judge the attitude towards them.

So, for example, the wife can nervously count how much money the husband spent on gifts to a child from the first marriage and compare these amounts with spending on it.

The mother-in-law can estimate the birth price for her birthday and compare this amount with the estimated income of the family of his son.

Brothers and sisters can jealously monitor how parents distribute money between them, and always guess the different attitude of the parents.

Measuring love in monetary equivalent cynically only at first glance. In fact, it is quite natural. A person receives money, as a rule, for work, that is, for the investment of its physical or intellectual energy. So his vitality and time of their life, he exchanges money to the "biovyvying resource". And this money he gives (or does not want to give) to his loved ones. For the return of money (equivalent of the attached forces) is the return of vital energy. So the measurement of relationships "in money", ultimately, has good reasons. Who will you give your vital energy?

Money is a resource providing life and status in society. Historically, the ownership of life-supporting resource was a guarantee of physical survival of people. Therefore, the right to dispose of money is valued so high, the lack of this right is so acute and painfully feeling, despite the fact that in modern society you may not face physical extinction.

The monetary, "biovy" resource accumulates the most viable and active members of society, which is completely natural. The same applies to the primary cell of society - families, financial levers turn out to be more adapted, active members of this family, capable and seeking to act, influence the situation, to take responsibility. If you are unhappy with the distribution of finances in your family, then most likely you are unhappy with your hierarchical position, family status.