Married residence. Do you need to live together before marriage?

18.06.2019

Contrary to the opinion of a simple layman, a modern guest marriage is not at all a figurative expression, but a real reality, in which (and, oddly enough, many are very successful), mostly star couples, or forced by circumstances to love each other for a long time friend at a distance. In such couples there is a stamp in the passport, and children, and official relations. There is only no common household and warm family dinners every evening, because the “guest” spouses live together only on weekends and holidays. Unless, of course, they get the job.

Is such a marriage necessary, and is the game worth the candle?

Pros of guest marriage - who benefits from marriage without cohabitation of spouses?

In the pre-revolutionary period, guest marriages more often occurred in families of nobles, in which husbands were engaged in affairs of state importance and visited their wives and children living in the countryside only on occasion.

Today, such a marriage is no longer seen by anyone. What other marriages are there?

You can not change your usual way of life, work and place of residence if you are from different countries or cities. Warm meetings on weekends are sheer romance.
If you are 30-40 years old, you have an unsuccessful experience of family life, and you don’t want to go through the “hell” of living together again, get used to other people’s habits and share your personal space, then a guest marriage is ideal.
You are creative people who are constantly on the road (at concerts, exhibitions, tours, etc.), and living together is physically impossible for you. A guest marriage in this case gives a sense of stability: after all, even after 3-4 months of absence, they will wait for you, and you will be welcome.
No stepfathers and stepmothers for children. They do not have to worry about the presence of someone else's uncle or aunt outside, and also experience the scandals of their parents. The family boat is not stormy, and the psyche of children, who are initially accustomed to this way of life of their parents, is in perfect order.
Inviolability of personal space and own freedom of movement. Spouses do not report to each other - where they are, what they do, what time they will come home. Personal freedom is harmoniously (though not for everyone) combined with a sense of nepotism.
No domestic slavery. No need to stand at the stove every evening, wash the whole family, etc.
You can stay late at work, sit in a cafe with friends until late, fill the refrigerator to your liking. No one expects a report on your actions, and there is no need to put up with other people's "bad" habits.
Spouses see each other as exceptionally beautiful, cheerful, joyful. And not in housecoats with cucumbers on the face and bloating. Or in worn slippers and "training shoes" with outstretched knees on the sofa with a newspaper.
In the evening, you can wander around the house in family shorts, drink beer, throw socks by the bed. Or without make-up, putting your feet in a bowl of broth, chatting with your girlfriends under the series on TV. And no one will mind. Relationships do not intersect with everyday life, leaving behind overflowing garbage cans, unwashed dishes, heartburn and bloating, and other family "joys". The candy-bouquet period can last forever.
Relationships don't work. Each meeting is long-awaited.

Cons of guest marriage - what complications can be expected from separation?

According to statistics, 40% of married couples live in a guest marriage in modern Europe. Family relations in different countries of the world have completely different traditions and are sometimes built on different principles.

As for Russia, here, according to sociological forecasts, "weekend marriage" will not soon be able to supplant the classical form of the family.

Living separately, remaining spouses in love, is extremely difficult. It is common for a person to wean himself from people, to make new acquaintances, to get used to his own life, in which, over time, a spouse living somewhere far away simply ceases to fit.
It is difficult for children to live in a "guest" family. Either dad is not around for a long time, then mom. Living with them in turn is difficult. And for the psyche of a small child, constant moving is completely harmful. In addition, a child who observes this form of marriage from childhood begins to consider it the norm, which will undoubtedly affect his views in the future. What can we say about the psychological complexes that the baby will acquire by adolescence.
No one will bring you a cup of tea in the evening or a glass of water when it's bad. No one will hug you when you are scared, anxious or sad. No one will call a doctor if there are health problems.
The physical and psychological contact that spouses have in an ordinary family is “not available” in a guest marriage like a phone out of reach. But it is precisely such contact that strengthens marriage, binds two lives more tightly, gives a feeling of confidence and security.
If something happens to one (th) of the spouses, the second (th) will not sit near his bed. Exceptions are rare! Such partners are so immersed in their own separate lives that it is extremely difficult to change them abruptly, even for the sake of a loved one.
The desire to have children, as a rule, faces a complete rejection of this turn of events. What are the children like when you live apart? Another question is if your marriage became a guest marriage after the birth of children, and the transition from the classic version of the family to the guest family was soft and gradual. But even in this case, it will be hard for the mother: children, sleepless nights, chickenpox and acute respiratory infections, lessons - everything is on the mother. Guest marriage in this situation becomes unequal. Sooner or later, dad will have to move in with his family or file for divorce.
Any test is a collapse for a guest marriage. Whether it's a serious illness, loss of a home, or any other serious problem.

Well, the most important thing. The guest marriage is doomed, and it's only a matter of time. Can you picture yourself as a 90 year old couple voluntarily living in different cities or houses because you “value your freedom too much”? Of course not. It's impossible. Guest couples are doomed to parting.

Examples of separation marriage from the world of famous people - learning to maintain relationships through examples

In the comments on the “addiction” of stars to extraterritorial marriages, psychologists note that for bohemian people this type of marriage is sometimes the only possible one. And, oddly enough, often even happy.

Your attention - the most famous examples of guest star marriages.

Refusing to be "just a mistress", an Italian woman marries a Frenchman after he has an accident.

Immediately after the wedding, the newlyweds leave for "their" countries: Vincent remains in France, Monica lives in England and Italy.

The happiness of a guest marriage confidently flows into the happiness of a classic marriage, as soon as the couple has a daughter, her needs turned out to be much more important than imaginary freedom.

These spouses lived in a guest marriage for 13 years - first in neighboring countries, then in neighboring mansions connected by a common corridor.

The strongest Hollywood couple, a well-known director and many beloved actress, had a son, and 4 years later a daughter, after which they decided to finally settle down, relocating to London.

But happiness did not last long. Burton's betrayals and provocative pictures in the newspapers were the last reefs for the star couple. Remaining friends, they agreed on joint custody of the children.

It was the brightest and strongest guest marriage, about which a lot has been filmed and written in the press. They lived in different countries and talked on the phone all night long.

Sometimes one of them could not stand the separation and flew to Paris or Moscow. All holidays - only together!

12 years of love and passion - until the death of Vysotsky.

Together with his bass player, Leontiev lived in a civil marriage for 20 years. Only then the marriage was legalized, and after a while it completely turned into a guest.

Today, the couple live on opposite sides of the ocean: he is in Moscow, she is in Miami. Periodically they fly to each other or meet in Spain.

The head of the family believes that feelings at a distance only grow stronger.

Of course, the most important thing is respect and trust in marriage, which, alas, not all “guest” couples manage to maintain.

Have you ever had a guest marriage experience in your life? Share your stories in the comments below!

In Russia, an increasing number of couples are in no hurry to immediately register their relationship, they just want to live together for a certain time to try a joint life, take a closer look at each other and only then decide whether they need an official marriage.

This is explained by the fact that divorces make up a fairly large percentage in the country. And such relationships do not oblige a man and a woman to anything, and you can disperse without consequences if the couple does not work out.

Cohabitation or civil marriage has recently become more and more popular. This is a close relationship between two people, not registered in the registry office.

In itself, the phrase "civil marriage" in accordance with applicable law, means officially registered marriage.

But in Russia there is a wrong concept of this term. It is understood as an actual family or cohabitation. Therefore, it is important to understand what civil marriage and cohabitation are, whether there is a difference between these concepts.

Story

In the modern world, many believe that the residence of a man and a woman in the same residential area without official registration of relations in the registry office is a civil marriage, they do not know how a civil marriage differs from cohabitation.

But even before the beginning of the last century in Russia, as in many other countries, all issues related to marriage, birth and death were fixed by the church. There was simply no other way.

Only at the beginning of the 20th century were state institutions established specifically for the recording of civil status acts. Registration of marriages was also within their competence. In some countries, marriage can still be registered, both in the registry office and in the church.

In Russia, a marriage that is registered in a church is called a wedding. It does not carry any official agreement.

Whereas the relations formalized in the registry office - this is a civil marriage, which is under the protection of the state. It is regulated by the Family Code of the Russian Federation.

The term "civil marriage" has become quite popular in various discussions of family situations. Often this phrase is used to refer to marriage relations that are not formalized.

Thus, we can conclude what civil marriage and cohabitation are. A civil marriage is a legal, registered marriage.

And cohabitation outside of official marriage, which is not sealed, has such a name as cohabitation.

Neither property nor personal rights in such a union are protected by law. Family law recognizes only those couples who have entered into an official marriage.

Practice shows that informal marriage has many advantages.. The main ones are:

In Russia, as in no other country, the patriarchal traditions of the past are preserved. Civil marriage occupies not the last place in them.

Of course, in the modern world, people who decide to live together without registering relations with the registry office do not face strong condemnation in society.

But even in 2019, such a family model as cohabitation has many disadvantages.. The main ones are:

Practice shows that couples who have a positive attitude towards premarital life together are less responsible. Therefore, after registering a relationship, some believe that cohabitation and civil marriage are one and the same.

According to statistics, a long stay in an unregistered relationship, in the future, negatively affects the subsequent marriage.

A married couple that already has a negative experience of living together, more often than others, has a desire to terminate the official union.

In moments of decreased feelings and affection, people break off relationships that, under other circumstances, could be saved.

Cohabitation changes the relationship of partners to a formal union and the prospects for marital stability are reduced.

Civil marriage in Russia is a marriage union of partners, which must be officially registered with state bodies. Many people make the mistake of assuming that civil marriage is the same as cohabitation.

Therefore, the question of what is the similarity and difference between these terms does not lose its relevance. But, no matter how they call the residence of a man and a woman in the same residential area before registering a marriage, the essence remains unchanged - this is illegal cohabitation.

Trying to give some status to such relationships, cohabitation is called a civil marriage. But this does not give them any legal force.

In accordance with the legislation of the Russian Federation, civil marriage differs from cohabitation in that it is an official registration of the relationship of the spouses by the relevant state body.

Cohabitation is the residence of a man and a woman in the same residential area, without formalizing a formal union.

In the modern world, most couples call unregistered relationships a civil marriage. But from a legal point of view, this is wrong. Since a civil marriage must be understood as a marriage registered in the registry office without the participation of the church.

It is important to understand the difference and consider the disadvantages of cohabitation. Since in the event of a break in relations, a woman and a child may be left without material assistance and alimony.

In addition, according to statistics, single mothers and children without a father often appear in unregistered relationships.

People who live for a long period in the same territory and have acquired property, after the death of one of the couple, may not inherit anything at all. Therefore, it is worth considering the feasibility of such a relationship.

It is much safer to legitimize your relationship, especially before the birth of a child.. Then there will be no problems with the division of property and the establishment of paternity.

It is convenient for some couples to live together without official registration of marriage. But in the event of a break in relations, the division of property in a civil marriage entails problems.

The division of the property of cohabitants is difficult, since the Family Code does not define the concept of “cohabitation”. The joint property of spouses is legally regulated. It includes everything that the couple has acquired while being married.

The fact that the woman did not work, but took care of the house and children, does not matter. Once the apartment was bought in marriage, then you need to share it between husband and wife.

Features of the division of property in a civil marriage

An apartment acquired in a civil marriage becomes common shared property. The regime of ownership in common shared ownership is regulated by the norms of the Civil Code.

The answer to the question, civil marriage, how property is divided depends on at whose expense the acquisition was made. The property passes into the ownership of the spouse at whose expense the acquisition was made.

Important! Property in a civil marriage can be divided if you prove how much each party invested in the purchase. Confirmation are checks, receipts of payment.

Spouses have no guarantees under the section. Conflicts between the parties are resolved by the court.

The property that the parties have acquired during cohabitation is common shared property (Article 34 of the Family Code). Consent from the second half to dispose of property is not required.

Options for the division of property in a civil union:

Reach an agreement. The parties may sign a written agreement. Determine the share of women and men in the document. This method is suitable when both parties are open to dialogue.
Sue. A statement of claim is submitted to the judicial authorities to determine the procedure for the use of common property.

Problems of division of property between cohabitants

To prove the rights to jointly acquired property:

the moment of emergence of the right to common property;
indicate the purpose of the purchase.

Confirm inheritance rights if the other spouse dies.

According to Part 3 of the Civil Code, spouses, children and parents belong to the first line of kinship. Living without marriage registration does not give the right to receive an inheritance.

For example, the Solovyovs lived together for ten years. The marriage was not registered. During the period of living together, the couple bought a two-room apartment. The apartment was issued to a man who paid. A woman will not receive rights to property unless she proves that she has invested her funds in the property.

Shared ownership does not arise by oral agreement. In order to create fractional ownership in cohabitation, legal registration is required.

2 conditions for the emergence of shared ownership:

both parties have contributed money to purchases and have proof of payment in their hands;
signed an agreement on the establishment of shared ownership of real estate.

Oral agreements in Russia have no legal significance.

Algorithm for proving investments in a purchase

4 items of evidence for the division of property:

The couple lived together. It is necessary to prove that the couple lived together for a long time, looked like a family in the eyes of others.
The man and woman shared a common household. When living together, a joint budget is maintained, expenses are common and incomes too.
The cohabitants did not establish separate use of the car, apartment or other property.
The division of property acquired in a civil marriage is carried out if each party has proved how much it has invested in the purchase.

Advice. If your interests are affected by the question of how to divide property acquired in a civil marriage, do not blindly trust your partner. Keep checks and receipts that you have invested your funds. At the hearing of the Russian Federation, the testimony of witnesses is also taken into account.

Russian law does not determine the time when the division of property is made. Spouses can divide their property at any time.

Features of drawing up a statement of claim

3 claim options:

Recognize the right to the acquired house or other property, and divide it.
Recognize the right to a share in the property.
Recognize that the obligation to repay the loan is shared.

In judicial practice, there are few examples of successful division of property jointly acquired in cohabitation. In order to win an argument, you must clearly articulate your position and back it up with evidence.

4 conditions for proving common property:

One party has assumed the obligations of the other party.
The parties jointly invested in the purchase of jointly acquired property. For example, together they paid off a mortgage on an apartment, car or house.
Each cohabitant has proof of mortgage payments.
One spouse provided the second with a property pledge for joint acquisition. For example, he invested in the purchase of his car or apartment.

Confirmation of investment of funds

In a lawsuit, you need to prove the amount of funds invested in property that the couple considers common. It is necessary to confirm the sources and amount of income, the amount of participation in the acquisition, the price of the property.

There will be chances for a positive outcome of the case if you confirm the amount of cash investments and contributions by personal labor.

Case Study

The dispute between the de facto spouses was considered by the Omsk Regional Court.

The essence of the dispute. The man and woman lived together. The marriage was not registered in the registry office. During their life together, they bought an apartment. The man deposited his personal money, and the woman took a loan from the bank and invested in the purchase.

According to the documents, housing was registered for a woman. The court decided the issue: 11/20 was received by the plaintiff, and 9/20 in the right to housing went to the defendant.

court findings

It is proved that a woman and a man lived together. Witnesses confirmed the fact of cohabitation.
The man made himself a registration in the apartment.
The family code does not apply, since the marriage union was not officially concluded. The provisions of the Civil Code shall apply to the dispute.
The man could not prove that he invested in housing solely his funds from the sale of the room.
The documents show how much each side invested.
Conclusion. Divide property: 9/20 goes to the woman, and 11/20 goes to the man.

Recognition of the fact of invalidity of a registered marriage union

In life, it also happens: a couple enters into a fictitious union. A man and a woman register a marriage, but in reality they have no intention of living together. In this case, the property will fall under the regime of common shared ownership.

If a man and a woman signed a marriage agreement, the court will recognize it as invalid. The shares of co-owners are considered to be equal to each other, unless otherwise agreed.

How to avoid disputes

Disputes can be avoided if legally competently formalize the relationship of the parties. Cohabitants can make a purchase in shared ownership. If you wish, you can sign an agreement and transfer the property into common ownership.

By law, what a wife and husband bought goes into joint ownership. The only purchase option for cohabitants is shared fractional ownership.

In the agreement, the parties prescribe where is the common ownership, and where is the shared ownership. The shares in the property depend on the size of the investment or the decision of the actual spouses. The rule is established by Article 245 of the Civil Code.

Conclusion

The division of property of cohabitants has difficulties in terms of proving the fact of acquisition. You need to be able to prove your position. The court will take into account documentary evidence of investment in the purchase. Everyone is free to decide whether to fix the agreements in writing. If agreements on the definition of property rights have not been signed, difficulties will arise with proving.

It is possible that one de facto spouse will be able to profit at the expense of the other spouse if the joint purchase cannot be proven. Personal relationships are often based on trust. The problems are related to the fact that checks and receipts are not always saved. In this case, the joint acquisition will be difficult to prove.

Guest marriage today is considered an alternative to traditional family relationships. It has many pluses and minuses, similarities and differences over the usual relationship of spouses.

This article is intended for persons over 18 years of age.

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What is a guest marriage

The modern world is full of stereotypes, but relations between men and women are no longer built according to the usual pattern. Career prospects or the inability to live together “here and now” no longer become an obstacle to the official registration of relationships. Today gives us such a thing as "guest marriage".

What does it mean to enter into a guest marriage? In international law, there is no separate definition for a guest marriage, since all the requirements for the traditional formalization of relationships are formally observed. Partners confirm their status in the registry office, it is even possible to change the names of the spouses. The only and most important difference from the usual way of family life for society is separate living.

Psychology does not call the conclusion of a guest marriage a pathology or, conversely, the evolution of mankind. Each union of people is individual, and therefore such a choice of relationships is motivated by a certain reason.

Pros and cons of guest marriage

Guest marriage should be considered as a type of relationship where the partners themselves have determined their position in relation to each other and are quite satisfied with it. If we treat such a concept more progressively, then in a separate married life you can find your pluses and minuses.

The list of indisputable advantages includes the following:

lack of routine. Most couples break up precisely because of routine relationships, where passion is lost between spouses and there is no mutual understanding. According to statistics, in less than three years, men and women may lose intimate interest in each other, there is a need for temporary solitude and even separate living;
maintaining an attractive physical shape and appearance. The intermittent joint stay of spouses in the same living space excludes “getting used to” each other, so people want to always be in good shape in such a union and not lose attractiveness in the eyes of a partner;
relative financial independence. The absence of restrictions on personal purchases or visits to cultural places completely eliminates pressure from a partner.

In addition to the above factors, one can also name the absence of domestic disputes, the extension of the candy-bouquet period, and much more.

The main disadvantages of a guest marriage should immediately include:

idealization of a spouse. Due to rare and short meetings, you can create an image that is different from a real person. Psychology confirms this fact and recommends in this case carefully choosing a partner for marriage;
single parenting. In a guest marriage, the care of children is actually based on only one partner. Our user forum and multiple reviews confirm that raising a baby in such conditions is quite problematic;
subconscious desire to have an affair. The absence of restrictions in married life allows us to think about maintaining relationships on the side.

Each person supplements this list for himself, since we are all individual. In any case, it should be understood that women often need daily care and support, so for them such relationships often end in a break.

Guest marriage for a woman

Women's nature is inherently inclined to form strong marriage bonds and create a family hearth. In modern realities, feminist desires have gradually pushed the thoughts of obligatory subordination to the spouse into the background, and the opportunity for career growth has given financial independence. There is nothing wrong with this, but this situation has led to new difficulties: the unwillingness of partners to give in to each other, to sacrifice their own comfort, habits, etc.

If you do not get hung up on the features of today's society, then it remains simply to accept this state of affairs. A person may not be ready for marriage at any age, or simply cannot change his usual way of life due to beliefs, complexes and other psychological problems. If you turn to astrology, for example, you will immediately understand how scorpions relate to traditional marriage. They do not want to acknowledge the fact of attachment and, moreover, do not see the need to confirm relations at the state level. This fact is even confirmed statistically, and more often men find themselves in this situation. What can be done in such a case?

If your chosen one or chosen one does not recognize marriage in the traditional sense of the word, then two ways of further development of events are possible:

cohabitation with a child. The development of relationships involves the appearance of a child over time, and here the need for his joint upbringing already arises. In this case, even typical scorpions often give in to the family and do not regret their decision;
an attempt at short-term cohabitation in the form of vacation, joint rental housing. Such cases are the first step towards accepting attachment. The main thing is not to put pressure on your partner and just enjoy being together in the same living space;
preservation of a guest marriage or complete dissolution of relations. If the partners are really happy with everything, then there is no need for a further change in life circumstances. Before the law, a couple can formalize the relationship in their own interests, but live separately. This is not prohibited by law, but it obliges spouses to support each other in difficult situations.

Thus, before starting a guest marriage, you should seriously think about future prospects. This type of relationship can be a real step towards creating a strong family, or, conversely, bring only regret.

Who agrees to a guest marriage or "why do I want to live separately"

Guest marriage cannot be called a pathological fear of traditional family life or its modern alternative. There are times when a guest marriage is a good way out of this situation. Most often they agree to a guest marriage:

people who do not have a common living space or financial opportunities to purchase it. The reason for this situation may be a temporary lack of funds or unwillingness to live in a rented apartment. In any of these and similar cases, a guest marriage is a temporary solution;
frequent business trips, creative periods of life and political activities. The specifics of the work of partners definitely affects the formation of their relationship, so there may simply not be a need for permanent cohabitation. People of independent creative, political and other professions may simply be forced to travel frequently on business trips or need solitude;
quarrel or divorce. In this case, the relationship is also called a guest marriage, but this is rather self-deception and unwillingness to recognize reality;
Elderly people, when it is physically and morally impossible to change their habits for the sake of another person, there is a need for specific living conditions, medical care, etc.;
living in different countries. This reason most accurately reflects the adequacy of the concept of "guest marriage". When formalizing relations, partners from different countries may be forced to live separately for some time: obtaining a visa, residence permit, etc.

The traditional understanding of marriage and Orthodoxy do not accept the concept of separation of spouses today. Nevertheless, the above examples can hardly be called illogical or immoral.

How to end a guest marriage

There are two main ways to end a guest marriage: a formal divorce or cohabitation (transition to a traditional form of marriage).

In the first case, it is enough to apply for a divorce to the registry office and agree on custody of the children, if any. Most often, problems do not arise, since the spouses previously lived separately.

If we talk about the transition to the traditional form of marriage, then everything is somewhat more complicated. Partners have thoughts: how to survive the constant presence of another person in my life, was it a mistake?

Only time and joint efforts of partners can provide answers to these questions. The main thing to remember is that guest marriage is an opportunity to create a strong family, and everyone can use it in their own way.