There are children like children: curious, funny and smart, but there are others. Tears in the morning, tears at lunch, tears for any reason. A little something wrong - whims and tantrums. It is impossible to come to an agreement with them, it is difficult to persuade them. What strategy should parents choose in order to survive next to a restless baby, raise him and somehow balance him.

Restless baby: theory and practice

Step one: calm down

A restless child causes a lot of negative emotions in moms and dads. They begin to blame themselves and each other for all sins: from problem pregnancy (my mother worked a lot) to improper upbringing (“you spoiled him”). On this basis, conflicts are not uncommon in the family. Scandals by no means help to bring up a restless baby, but only exacerbate the situation.

What to do

First of all, parents need to accept the fact that no one is to blame for the fact that the baby is what he is. Some babies are born with an overly excitable nervous system. It is difficult to say what influenced this. Perhaps this is genetic conditioning or ecology. The only thing that can be asserted one hundred percent, it is impossible to spoil it to such an extent - it is a congenital phenomenon.

Step two: develop an overall strategy

Dr. Komarovsky's advice on raising babies is not good for restless children. The main problem of these babies is the overexcitation of the nervous system. Loud sounds, smells, bright objects, toys, movements can cause severe irritation in them. It manifests itself in behavior: the child begins to bend, be capricious, spinning, chaotic chaotic movements appear.

What to do

1. To balance the situation, you need to properly organize the environment. Namely, remove annoying stimuli as much as possible. Loud TV sound, music, bright color and light are not allowed. Toys should be soft and few. You can't play to the point of exhaustion.
2. Adults will have to agree among themselves about the distribution of time and responsibilities for caring for the child. You can, of course, blame everything on mom, but then mom will be out of order. The hardest issue in raising a restless toddler is sleep. It will be ideal if one parent is laid and the other is lifted. You can sometimes alternate each other, but the procedures for falling asleep and lifting themselves should not be changed.
3. Less new in food, decor, walks. Noisy companies and games are contraindicated. It is better to stick to the same walking route. It is necessary to strictly observe the daily regimen.

It's important to know! Advice from grandmothers like "let it run, fall asleep faster" does not work with excitable children. The more the baby runs, the more the nervous system is overworked. Excessive excitement cannot in any way be replaced by inhibition. Because of this, the child does not fall asleep for a long time, and sleeps very restlessly. Therefore, games should be calm and just like that.

Sometimes increased excitability is paired with a general weakness of the nervous system. It is very difficult to feed such children. They eat little, are capricious in food, and gain weight poorly.

It is important here to pull yourself together and not slide into violence. Since food is a basic phenomenon, the body will always take its own rate. But if you force-feed, there may be an aversion to food intake and even a psychological rejection of the process itself.

Shortening the time between feeds will help to avoid problems. The kid cannot eat a lot at once, so let him eat more often. Then he will be full, and the parents will stop worrying.

In dealing with an excitable baby, it is advisable to show gentleness and tolerance. Over time, this feature of the nervous system smoothes out, and the child has the opportunity to independently regulate his emotional state and reactions. Parental breakdowns, forceful methods and even more verbal condemnation of behavior will only aggravate the situation, lead to the emergence of reactive aggressiveness and kill self-esteem in the bud. This combination will be extremely difficult to correct further.

Your child. Everything you need to know about your child - from birth to 2 William and Martha Searz

Restless children

Restless children

Our three first children were so calm that we only wondered why there was so much noise around difficult children.

But then Hayden appeared, who turned our relatively peaceful home upside down. She didn't even want to know what was good for the other children. There was no word “rule” in her vocabulary when it came to sleep and food. She had to be on her arms and chest all the time, rampant, being alone, and calmed down as soon as she was taken in her arms. Pass the baby game became a favorite in our home: Hayden could sleep for hours if she was passed from hand to hand like a baton. Marta was tired - I took my daughter. We also used the patchwork holder, but not always.

When we tried to take a much-needed break, Hayden screamed incessantly. The family's motto became: "Wherever Martha and Bill go, Hayden goes with them." The daughter did not lag behind us, day or night, and daytime battles at night were by no means replaced by an armistice. She categorically did not recognize the crib and fell asleep, and even then not always, only in her parents' bed, feeling the warmth of our body. The crib, in which three of our children had grown up before, soon ended up in the garage. The only pattern in Hayden’s behavior was the absence of any pattern. What worked one day did not work the next. We were constantly looking for new ways to please her, and she made new demands.

Our feelings for Hayden were as messy as her behavior. Sometimes we sympathized with each other, and more often, being tired, we got angry and annoyed.

If this were our first child, we might feel guilty and puzzled over what we are doing wrong. But by that time we were already experienced parents and knew that it was not about us. Soon we were overwhelmed with different advice: "You wear too much of her", "You spoil her - let her scream", "She is twisting the ropes out of you." But we defended our parenting style by continuing to adhere to what worked and felt right to us. Lesson No. 1 for those who have to raise a child of this type: "The child cries because of his temperament, and not because you are bad parents."

Within a few weeks after Hayden's birth, we realized that we had got an unusual child, with special needs, and the attitude towards him should be special; we are determined to provide such care. But how? We felt it would be best for Hayden if we were the most empathetic and creative about her. But it took patience.

A child with big requests

Our first problem was that we didn't know what to call Hayden's behavior. We didn't like the usual terms “difficult” and “noisy” child. There was something hostile and humiliating about them. In addition, they imply that with one or even two partners in a duet, the child - parent, something is wrong: something is wrong with the child or the parent is bad. It didn't work for us. In assessing Hayden's behavior, we followed our child caring style and simply said, "She has a high level of needs." We have heard that this is how many parents viewed the claims of these children. But one day the light flashed: "Let's call her a child with increased demands." For some time we used this term, then we began to use it in relation to other similar children, it took root, and we stopped at it. This term was the key to our understanding of Hayden.

"A child with increased demands" - and that says it all. This concept reveals exactly why these children demand so much, and how to treat them. It is accurate, inoffensive and sounds reassuring, removes blame from parents and gives recognition to such children. Parents of noisy children, is it a little easier for you?

“She will outgrow this,” the friends assured. Yes and no. Since we identified Hayden's behavior and built our relationship with her accordingly, we have felt better. But her needs didn't diminish with age - they just changed. Hayden from a baby with high demands turned into a girl with big demands, then into a teenager with no less ambitions. She slowly weaned from the places where she felt comfortable - from the bed, chest, arms. But still she lost the habit. How did we achieve this? Sensitivity.

Now, fourteen years later, Hayden has become a deeply feeling, creative person who, as they say, "life is in full swing." She is kind and considerate to others, including us.

Here's what Hayden taught us:

- Children are noisy primarily because of their temperament (in the sense of their general tendency to behave this way), and not through the fault of their parents.

- Each child has certain needs that need to be met. Caring for a child allows both stakeholders (parents and children) in their relationship to unleash the best they have. - It must be taken for granted that children with increased demands have an unusual temperament and they require special care. My daughter taught us to be more empathetic, which helped us both in work and in relationships with people and in the family.

What we taught Hayden:

“Those who take care of her are attentive to her needs.

- She herself is a value (it's okay to have requests).

- She is surrounded by warmth and trust.

We studied different opinions about why the child makes noise and what to do about it; these are examples from our practice and the views of many hundreds of parents. Here are the remedies that work in most cases.

Features of a child with increased demands

To see if the Lord has rewarded you with this particular type of child, look at what parents think about high-demand children. "Hypersensitivity"... Such children attach great importance to the environment. They immediately begin to worry about changes in their familiar and comfortable environment, and they do not accept them. They get scared easily during the day and do not sleep well at night. This sensitivity helps them bond deeply with caring and caring parents, but they are reluctant to accept strangers and nannies. They have a picky taste and a clear mind. This sensitivity, which is very uncomfortable in the beginning, can do a good job later. Such children are capable of deep affection.

"I just can't get him to bed."... It is not typical for such children to lie peacefully in bed and wait (like most others) that they will be taken in their arms just to feed and change diapers. Movement, not rest, is their lifestyle. These children are forever on their arms or on their chest, they rarely agree to stay in the crib for a long time.

"Can't calm down by himself"... The capacity for complacency is not found in such children. Parents report: "He himself cannot relax." The mother’s knees are his chair, the father’s chest is his bed, the mother’s chest is a calming agent. These children are very picky about soothing mother-substitute toys and often reject them. This high quality requirement for the "comforter" subsequently makes the person gravitate not to things, but to people, and strive to establish closeness and mutual understanding with them.

"Tension"... “He's on edge all the time,” said the tired father. Children with high demands put a lot of energy into whatever they do. They scream loudly, laugh until they drop and immediately begin to protest if they are not fed on time. Due to the fact that they feel more and more deeply and react more strongly to everything, they are able to bond tightly and are very worried if the relationship is destroyed. Such children then seem to become enthusiasts. But no matter what labels are glued to them, no one will call them boring.

A child with high demands - a gift or a punishment from God?

Once we compared the temperaments of our kids and realized that children with increased demands have a lot that works for them. See which child gets more attention and generally takes more from life? Children with high demands are coddled more because they demand it.

They take up more place in the life of parents and more of their time, since you cannot leave such children with anyone. And who gets more affection, spends more time in comfort - on the chest or in the warm bed of their parents? These children travel first class through life. Which babies do parents know best, which ones are they forced to approach the most creatively? You know the answers yourself. And the efforts of the parents of such children are rewarded.

"Wants to be coddled all the time."... More often than not, the feeding schedule is foreign to the mind of such a child. He demands to be fed every 2-3 hours, and can suck on his breast blissfully for a long time. Not only do they eat more often, they also suck for longer. These babies slowly wean from breastfeeding, and sometimes they have to breastfeed until the second or even third year of life.

"Wakes up often"... "And why do these children need more than sleep?" - one mother sighed. They really often wake up at night and rarely pamper their parents, falling asleep during the day, although they, like other babies, need a nap. It may seem to you that a light is continuously burning above this child, which is very difficult to extinguish. Maybe that's why, when they grow up, they are called "bright", "shiny" children.

"Unsatisfied and unpredictable"

The moment has come, and you understand what the child wants from you, but get ready for the fact that tomorrow you will have to start looking all over again. One mother said, "Just when I think I outplayed him, he takes over again." A set of calming measures can help once, but the next day it will no longer work.

"Too active"... These children, when held in their arms, spin a lot, trying to find the most comfortable position. Feeding is complicated by the fact that they always strive to bend back and slip out of your hands. “There is no stationary position for him at all,” said one dad. When you hold such a child, you feel how his muscles are tense.

"Drains all strength"... In addition to his energy, which the child puts into everything he does, he also uses the energy of his parents. “He's just wearing me out,” is a constant complaint from parents.

"Can't Hold"... This applies to the most difficult children with increased demands, who do not accept such a proven means as being in arms. While most children are numb in their arms and make themselves comfortable, these tend to bend, kick, break out. Usually, babies calm down when they are taken in their arms, and these for a very long time cannot find a comfortable position, but sooner or later they find it if their mother tries to help and offers a cozy safe nest from her hands.

"Demanding"... Children with high demands demand a lot and have enough willpower to get what they want. See how differently two children, reaching out to you, ask you to take them. Usually, the child, if his request is ignored, gives up and preoccupies himself with the game. But this is not the kind of kid with increased demands. He will not accept the fact that he was not heard, he will shout and demand until he gets his way.

Be prepared for such a feature and do not listen to harmful advice such as "He crushes you under him." Imagine for a moment what would happen if a child with increased demands was not picky. If he has an urgent need for something, but lacks the strength of character to declare it until he is met, it may even prevent him from developing normally. Demandingness in children with increased demands is a harbinger of strong will in the future.

Tired parents often ask: "How long will these antics last and what will grow out of him?" Don't rush to wonder what kind of person your child will grow up to be. Some difficult children change 180 ° as individuals over time. But basically, the needs of the baby do not decrease, but only change. And yet, although at first the early manifestations of their personality depress the parents, as the child develops, many, if they use our method, change their assessment of the child's behavior, such words as “bold”, “interested”, “bright” begin to prevail in it. The same qualities that at first gave parents so much trouble now acquire a positive meaning for both children and parents, but only if high demands were recognized at one time and did not go unanswered. An energetic baby can become a creative child, a sensitive toddler can become a compassionate person, that is, he can give much more than he demanded.

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Hello! In fact, there can be many reasons why your 7-month-old baby cries and sleeps poorly.

Often the reasons for crying and troubled sleep remain a mystery. The baby can simply react to the changed weather (all babies are meteorological), or worry during the full moon.

He may be bothered by gas in the stomach, or sore gums before teething.

Also, very often, the baby can pick up on the anxiety of his mother. If the mother is worried about any troubles in the family, or anything else, the child reacts very sensitively to this. And if in your case, such a state of yours takes place, then try, first of all, to calm down yourself. Try to look at your troubles from the outside, as if not you were experiencing all this, but your unfamiliar neighbor. Try to learn how to turn off unnecessary and unnecessary emotions, not to heat up passions to the limit, and learn to perceive life more positively.

The child reacts very vividly to his surroundings. A nervous, unsure mother is simply doomed to failure. Relax, whatever the cost, or at least imagine yourself calm and knowing how to help your little one. Your little one will feel that everything is fine and will definitely change their behavior. If you have even the slightest concern that the baby's crying is caused by an illness, do not delay contacting a doctor. Even if you doubt and, most likely, the worries will turn out to be unjustified, you should not risk the health of a little one. No mother, even an overly excited mother, is able to surprise a pediatrician or a health visitor. They have to deal with such women all the time, and they know how to help them. Just do not self-medicate! When the tummy hurts Most babies cry from colic. The gas that swells up in the tummy causes great pain in babies and causes the worst screams. As a rule, colic torments children from the first month of life (in some cases practically from birth) and up to 3-6 months. It is believed that representatives of the stronger sex are most often the sufferers of this ailment caused by the immaturity of the intestines. If your child restlessly twists his legs, screams inconsolably at about the same time (usually in the evenings, but not at all), falls asleep hard, does not sleep well, most likely he has colic. In this case, simple gymnastics will help. The most famous exercise is called the frog. It will be shown to you by any pediatric massage therapist or neonatologist. The sufferer's feet are joined together, the legs are bent at the knees. In such a funny position, the intestines are freed from gas, and stool discharge may occur. A special massage is also helpful. Gently massage the baby's tummy, around the navel, clockwise, increasing the diameter of the circle - this is how the intestines are located. After that, you can "ride a bike": the legs make circular movements from the tummy to the hips. Some mothers admit that putting on a tummy before feeding and applying a warm diaper to a disturbing place helps their children from colic pain. A nursing mother must strictly adhere to the diet, excluding foods that cause gas formation. The crying of a child may also stop after drinking special fennel drinks. You can also try baby chamomile tea. In some cases, doctors prescribe special medications. It is difficult to predict in advance what will suit your baby. However, it should be noted that breastfeeding experts generally do not recommend the use of any medication. After all, nature itself offers us the ideal remedy for coping with the problems of colic and restless behavior of the child - mother's milk. This is a magic milk If you are breastfeeding your baby, digestive problems will worry him much less often. However, many women do not understand the temporary cause of colic, complaining about the poor-quality nature of their milk, and they finish this most important way of communicating with their mother for a little creature, without waiting for the cherished three months. As a result, with the transition to the mixture, the problems with the tummy only worsen, the recovery is delayed. So try to be sensible! Try feeding your baby as soon as he becomes worried. While sucking on the mother's breast, the baby is in a state of bliss and complete relaxation, gases leave the calmed tummy, a chair occurs, the little martyr becomes easier. Yes, if it's cold outside, you won't be able to breastfeed your baby for a walk. But you can leave the house with a well-fed and happy baby, who is able to sleep for several hours until the next feeding. Fresh air and movement of the stroller will help you. And if something goes wrong, don't write home. Try to rock the baby in your arms and then put it back in the stroller. Back to Mom Another popular way to help raise a calm, healthy baby is by using a special sling: a sling. Sweetly sleeping in a sling, the baby is in perfect condition, close to the state before birth. He, as before, hears the beat of the mother's heart, recognizes her voice, smells milk, so reminiscent of the smell of intrauterine waters. The baby does not feel hunger, since the breast is always nearby, he moves in the same rhythm with his mother, just like in the most carefree period in his life. The sling is especially useful for colic children, and is indispensable for babies with congenital pathologies. Sling babies develop faster and gain weight better. And mom would not hurt to free her hands and do the necessary household chores. Your child doesn’t want to stop crying - try swearing him in a sling! Just keep in mind that the process of getting used to this simple way of carrying is quite painstaking for a beginner, and the help of a consultant may be required.

Analyze times when your baby is restless and try to find the conditions that accompany this time and change them. I wish you and your baby good luck and health!

Here in the family a small tender "lump" appeared, which squeaks from time to time, showing discontent. Inexperienced mothers, at the slightest cry, begin to get nervous, wondering why a restless baby behaves this way at 1 month old, and how to help him.

Reasons for anxiety in a month old baby

The kid just came into this world and is trying to adapt to it. The nervous and digestive systems have not yet been adjusted - so far the only sense organs through which the newborn communicates with the outside world.

A restless month-old baby with his crying causes inconvenience to parents at night. Although at this age the physiological periods of wakefulness are reduced to 15 minutes, the rest of the time the infant usually sleeps. For him, there are still no distinctions into daily phases, and there is no perception of time.

The only available way to establish contact with the outside world is with a sound signal. But a restless baby at 1 month only knows how to cry - this is a natural state that allows you to attract attention to yourself.

Why is a month old baby crying:

• the first thought that arises from the mother is that the baby is hungry;
• due to the imperfection of the digestive system, the newborn is worried about colic;
• a common reason is discomfort - the baby is wet and cold, or, conversely, he is overheated;
• sometimes clothes or diapers are not worn correctly.
  The newborn lies in an uncomfortable position, and is not yet able to roll over on its own;
• illness becomes the cause of continuous (almost hysterical) crying.

A restless child of 1.5 months, endowed with a sensitive nervous system, cries due to discomfort of a tactile nature. Even a soft pillow can be annoying. Some children feel uncomfortable in a large crib, as if "inwardly" feeling their insecurity.

What to do if the sleep of a month old baby is restless?

In the first month of life, the baby shows anxiety unconsciously, sometimes tossing and turning and screaming in a dream for no reason. Therefore, it is not necessary to rush to the baby at the first callsigns, but if the baby's cry is too persistent and lasts more than 10 minutes, they react to it.

• first check whether the toddler is dry and comfortable. If the cause is found, it is eliminated;
• if the baby is hungry, then an additional feeding session will calm him down, because at this stage a clear regime has not yet been developed;
• when the reason lies in colic (and this is quite natural for a month-old baby), mother will try to alleviate the suffering.

Sometimes it is enough just to give the baby a pacifier or a few sips of warm water (soothing tea), or turn it over to another barrel so that he continues to sleep peacefully. A very restless baby 1 month old quickly calms down in her mother's arms if she shakes him a little.

When none of the remedies work, and the baby does not calm down, the best solution is to call a doctor. Perhaps the reason lies in the onset of the disease.

Without knowing the exact diagnosis, self-medication is not recommended.

Sometimes restless sleep in a child can last up to 11 months. This indicates either the baby's hypersensitivity, or the developed habit of attracting the mother's attention in this way. In the first case, you will need a doctor's consultation and the use of sedatives. The second situation requires behavioral correction (and here you will have to be patient).

Restless sleep in a newborn is a standard situation in the first month of life, but it should not be ignored. Indeed, against the background of ordinary reasons, it is not always possible to notice the emergence of a serious problem.

A restless child is a source of constant conflict and quickly becomes rejected, as he does not know how to give in, get along with each other, establish and maintain friendships ...

Parents come to me with questions: “Why is my child restless? Why his peers behave angelically, and mine ... What to do: my child is overly restless? "

Based on the experience of counseling practice, I recommend excluding neurology ... In addition, I find out the reasons for the child's restless behavior: intrauterine development and the first months of life. Most mothers, carrying a child, listen to music, read books and go to museums for early development. And, unfortunately, little attention is paid to everyday life with others. The best psychological foundation for a child's future life is peace during pregnancy. We must not only think and imagine how wonderful and calm our baby will be, but also stop quarreling with her husband, reproach him for inattentive behavior and lack of care for you.

What should parents do if a restless baby has already been born? Analyze the ways in which children's anxiety is manifested:

• Lack of sleep is destructive for the psyche of the child's mother, it entails apathy, a lack of desire to contact people, to live. Aggression against a husband who manages to sleep longer is on the rise.
• Mothers need communication! If there is no way to communicate with people in real life, communicate virtually: write about yourself and your difficulties. You need this support. Do not forget about communication with your husband, arrange a joint day off or at least two hours alone, when you can calmly talk, discuss all the news.
• Share household chores. Remember that the child is not interested in the level of your family's income, he needs parents who perceive the new stage of life joyfully, and not like torture! Make it easy for yourself to take care of the baby: mom takes care of the baby at night, and dad accepts the baby at 6 o'clock in the morning when he wakes up. Trust me, your husband can get ready for work while you sleep. And children, as a rule, behave well with dad, because dad treats everything easier.

Inflated expectations on the part of parents, moral and physical overload, frightening news from the TV screen, make a child 3 - 7 years old restless, suspicious and.

When raising children, one should:

• Agree with all family members "do's and don'ts."
• Use the tactics: 1/1/1 - out of every three cases, give in approximately once, not give in once, find a compromise once. It is very important to teach your child to negotiate!
• Show your child an example to follow with your behavior: restrain your emotions.
• Give your child enough attention, let him never feel forgotten, but at the same time explain to the child that there are times when you have other concerns, you need to understand and accept this.
• remember, that