You and your wife will soon become happy parents. Much changes in life both for you and for her. You have more responsibilities and worries - because now you become the main breadwinner of the family. But your wife has no less worries and worries. Women are in themselves sensitive creatures, and the period of pregnancy makes them even more tender and sentimental. What was previously considered normal can now cause a violent reaction in your wife, screaming and crying. It may be dirty socks caught at the wrong time, not enough (in her opinion) a gentle kiss before leaving for work, or guessing your unspoken desires incorrectly.

So that the expectation of the baby does not lead to constant quarrels between the future dad and the future mother, we offer you some tips for future dads.

Try to please each other.

Yes, guessing the desires of a pregnant woman is difficult - and, frankly, almost impossible. Due to this, future dads often get annoyed, not understanding what they want from them, and what has become of their always affectionate and confident wives.

Understand that hormones determine your spouse's mood and desires during pregnancy - so it makes no sense to be annoyed at her and slam the door when going to a bar with friends to complain about life. Just try to understand her, sometimes keep silent without stirring up the conflict further, or do what she asks (within reasonable limits, of course).

Remember how she tried to calm you down and not let your anger flare up? This could be due to problems at work or not entirely logical behavior of drivers on the road along which you were heading to the country. Remember how she looked at you affectionately and asked you to calm down, saying how she loves you? Well, now it's your turn.

Try to do things that give you both pleasure. Take a walk in the park, read interesting books, watch movies, visit friends. In a word, future dad and the expectant mother, in anticipation of the baby, should rally even more and try to give each other as much pleasure as possible. By the way, this applies to sex too!

Try to relax together as often as possible. But this does not mean that you do not have the right to watch a football match or meet with friends once a week. Another thing is that the family should be a priority for you.

Learn as much as possible about pregnancy and childbirth.

Fortunately, now there are many sources from which information can be obtained: books, the Internet, TV, etc. If you know and understand what is happening now with your wife, you will be able to adequately respond to certain changes in her appearance and character. Yes you - future dad- and you have an increased number of responsibilities. But in any case, it is much more difficult for a future mother. Don't believe me? Read any source that describes the features of a pregnant woman's condition - and you will truly appreciate the fact that you are a man!

Of course, there are happy exceptions when the expectant mother does not have toxicosis, shortness of breath, edema and other unpleasant symptoms. But still it happens WELL VERY rarely!

Be patient

This is probably the most important advice to future dads... Patience is your greatest friend and ally, especially during your wife's first trimester of pregnancy.

The fact is that toxicosis and mood swings are most pronounced precisely in the first 3 months of pregnancy. Repeat this to yourself in those moments when it seems to you that you are about to explode. The confidence that your suffering is temporary is very warming and soothing.

And so that conflicts between future dad and the expectant mother was as little as possible - be gentle and sensitive. Even when it seems to you that they are systematically trying to piss you off. Express any comments and complaints quietly and gently - and you will see how your relationship will change.

Admire your wife

This is hard for you men to understand, but your wife is VERY worried about her appearance during pregnancy. Have you noticed that she put on a little weight and her tummy is rounded? No, we understand that your greatest attention is riveted to her gorgeous bust, but she thinks that she has begun to look much worse! And it is in your power to prove to her otherwise.

Admire her, compliment her, shower her with flowers and assure her that she is the most beautiful woman in the world! You can be sure that your wife will appreciate it. And tell her already, finally, that she has wonderful breasts!

Try to share a healthy lifestyle with your wife.

Having become pregnant, your wife abandoned many of the "joys of life" from which future dad in no hurry to refuse. If you think that the sight of your happy face, devouring smoked sausage and beer by both cheeks, delights your wife, you are mistaken. If a woman is expecting a child, this does not mean that she does not want to drink wine or eat a hamburger. She just takes a responsible attitude to her pregnancy and denies herself such "worldly joys." And believe me, she will appreciate your action very much if you can also give up cigarettes, beer and chips in the name of a healthy lifestyle. Even if she does not ask you about it.

Become a reliable companion for your wife

Some dads-to-be go too far in terms of caring for a pregnant wife. Some every minute inquire about her well-being, annoying the expectant mother in the event that she feels great. Sometimes it comes to the ridiculous - having learned about the beginning of labor from his wife, future dad begins to worry so much that his wife and doctors have to think not about childbirth, but about how to pump out an impressionable dad.

The other extreme is the concentration of all the vital forces of the future dad exclusively on making money. Yes, the material aspect is important - no one will argue with that. But if at the same time the future dad forgets about affection and attention for his wife, this is already a bad sign.

So that you do not become an example of one extreme or another, we offer you the following scheme of actions. If your wife during pregnancy feels great, works and sparkles with energy - your task is to suppress all annoying advice and questions "from the outside" and listen to the desires of your betrothed. Carrying a heavy bag, screwing in a light bulb on your own, or hanging up linen seems to be a trifle, but for your wife it will be a real feat on your part.

If all the "side effects" of pregnancy manifested itself in your wife in all their glory, the future dad should also provide her with all possible help, but to a greater extent.

We hope that the advice we have given to future dads will help young families expecting a baby to avoid many conflicts!

Finally, you have found two cherished strips on the dough and your joy has no limits! This is the most exciting and responsible period not only for the expectant mother, but also for the future father. Why? Because the role played by the father in the formation of the child's personality cannot be overestimated! Therefore, future dads need to prepare as carefully to become a parent as mothers. What does a future dad need to know?

Where to begin?

It is not surprising that a joyful storm of emotions and pride is followed by some confusion and anxiety. The surest way to avoid uncertainty is to get rid of it. The future dad needs to choose suitable publications, books, videos and thematic magazines for himself and his wife, so that all exciting questions can be answered in advance. Be sure to go to courses for pregnant women with your wife!

What to buy?

We will not dwell on diapers-undershirts-suits, your wife has obviously already bought more than enough of them. The question with a crib for many mothers before childbirth remains open, they are afraid to buy because of superstitions, but if yours is not one of them, it is worth buying and you, as a real man, must assemble it yourself, believe me, you will remember this for a long time)) The stroller is usually buy before delivery. It is not worth saving on it. I recommend the best inglesina strollers 3 in 1. You don't have to worry about the quality and naturalness of the materials, and this is the most important thing.

How to get used to it?

Whims, ailments, toxicosis ... Wasn't that how you imagined a happy 9 months of pregnancy? If the spouse does not react sharply to these changes in the wife's moods, or even better - to understand why they occur, then nervous tension will be reduced to zero, and positive emotions will help maintain peace of mind.

How to stay informed?

Listen carefully to the wife's stories about tests, visits to doctors and ultrasounds. And a joint visit to specialists will always allow you to ask important questions personally.

How to build relationships?

What does a future dad need to know? Express your feelings to your wife more often. Don't be afraid to compliment her once again for her courage to become a mom. Compliment her body. An enlarged bust and a seductively rounded tummy should not go unnoticed by a loving husband.

In no case do not reproach your wife for being sluggish and awkward. Any negative emotions are directly reflected in the baby's psyche.

Proximity? ...

What does a dad-to-be need to know about intimacy? Some men are afraid to even touch their wife during pregnancy. Others, on the contrary, are wondering - how is it, sex during pregnancy?

There is no need to be afraid of sex with a pregnant wife if there are no direct contraindications from a doctor for this. But you also need to understand that something in your usual rhythm will change too. In such a relationship, regularity and tenderness come to the fore.

The main thing to remember is that now is not the time for resentment and harsh words. The whole family will benefit from mutual support and assistance.

The role of the father in this important life stage of the family is simply invaluable!

Cheerful dad. And what awaits him from his wife at home ...

Advice to a man who has just become a father or is going to become one, because it is this person who needs comprehensive information so as not to harm the child and have at least a general idea of ​​what he should do with the child. The future dad is an honorable and responsible position.

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Why are we afraid of parenthood

Not all fathers-to-be are afraid of being a dad, of course, but those who are afraid are doing the right thing by looking for information about this, and not ignoring their fears. Those men who have been in conflict with their fathers are the first in line to experience fear. Psychologist and Ph.D. Jerold Shapiro notes that many men who claim that they do not want to be like their fathers in raising children, in fact, repeat their actions in relation to their children, that is, what happens is exactly what they wanted to avoid. Professor Shapiro proposes ten aspects to test, which include, among other things, the story of the man's father, the future father's vision of himself and his relationship with women, and his own feelings when recalling childhood. Ultimately, the goal of understanding and realizing fears of parenthood is for a man to behave differently as a father.

For harmonious development, a child needs more than just milk. In this article, there will be a small overview of the other needs of the child - and it is worth assuring that he has every right to demand their satisfaction and adults are obliged to do so. These needs are by no means a whim. By answering them, you will not only not spoil your child, but also help him to feel happy and, as a result, a lighter child.

A young dad will often have very incomprehensible, mixed feelings about his wife and child. But this is absolutely not surprising. A man should always understand that it is much more difficult for a young mother, she loses a lot of strength during the childbirth process, after which cardinal changes will occur in her body. For these reasons, a woman really needs the support of a man during this period. Help should be both physical and mental. A man should not only help to do everything around the house and take care of the child, but also support, understand and love his wife.

Research in recent years has shown that dads today take great care of their babies. Many in good faith wish to have a different relationship with their child than they had with their fathers. What should dads not forget above all?

So, this is the responsible word "dad". Do you feel the pride of the person who gave birth to this tiny creature lying in front of you in romper pants and undershirts? But this is only the very beginning, because it is also necessary to grow a worthy person out of this crumb. And if you have a "noble" right to be called the father of this little creature, then be kind, take a few minutes to pay attention to simple advice on how to deal with the little one.

Who does not know how difficult the first months of a child's life are? Only those who do not have children of their own. Both mums and dads know how difficult it can be to calm down a restless child. Parents often ask doctors what is wrong with their child, because he cries very often. Most often, the answer is very simple - the child has colic.
The only salvation for young fathers is patience. Someday it will end. But it is helpful to know what else may be causing the baby to cry to help the baby calm down. More on this below.

Many successful women repeatedly ask themselves the question of how to combine career and motherhood? The question is difficult, but solvable. As one of the options, the father of the family may well go on maternity leave to take care of the baby.

At the moment, this phenomenon is quite rare, but sometimes it still occurs. From year to year, more and more newly minted mothers trust their babies to the fathers of the family, and they themselves return to their jobs without delay. The stereotypes about the woman as the keeper of the hearth and the man-earner have already sunk into oblivion. The modern young family itself has the right to prioritize and decide who will earn and who will raise the little one.

On the Internet, you can find a lot of information about how to behave a man with a pregnant wife, how to take on the role of a father, how to help his wife take care of the baby. But all these tips are written either by mothers in the form of wishes, or by doctors or other specialists, for example, psychologists.

Extraordinary because they were written by ... dad. Alexander created the first "daddy" blog in Ukraine, which he called "Tats to dads", in which he shares his own experience of "lagging behind daddy."

“Hi, my name is Sasha and on the first of February I became the father of a wonderful daughter. There are many women's sites and forums dedicated to motherhood. But it is somehow not customary to talk about fatherhood in our country ... In linguistic and cultural practices ("the room of a mother and child"), a person as an active dad does not seem to exist. Therefore, in this blog I will make my humble contribution to equality and share my findings and impressions of the role of a father, ”writes Sasha.

So, attention, future dads! A few tips from Alexander on how to support your wife during pregnancy.

Although outwardly pregnancy is not yet noticeable, it is the first trimester for many women that is difficult. Your concern at this stage will not be forgotten and will make a good contribution to building lasting relationships. What advice may seem obvious, some optional, but some will definitely significantly improve the life of your beloved:

1. Chat with other parents. Chat with your dad. You will understand what you want to do the same and what not.

2. Take your wife for a walk every day. At least pin up at home. If possible, go to nature to breathe fresh air, feed the birds, and swim on a boat.

3. DO NOT be discouraged when your wife is sick. Hold her hair during this, immediately bring water. Bring a light breakfast (salty crackers, fruit, toast, lemon juice ...) to bed to prevent nausea.

4. Support your wife in leading a healthy lifestyle. Reduce junk food in the fridge. Keep yourself in shape. Sleep well. Exercise. If you smoke, it's time to quit.

5. Go with your wife for an ultrasound scan. Ask the doctor to show your face, fingers, brain. Save your child's snapshot.

6. DO NOT guess the gender (“I hope it will be a boy!”). When the doctor determines it, show that you are happy with the result When the baby is born, you will love him regardless of your previous wishes. And remember that gender depends on the X or Y chromosome was brought in by your sperm.

7. Stand up for your wife in everything. You have to be her biggest defender, always by her side. Do not hesitate to "knock out" her a chair, a place in transport, skip-the-line, proper attitude from others. Make it feel like she can rely on you.

8. Show your interest. You will not be thinking about pregnancy every second of your time. But your wife will. She may feel that you are not interested enough in the child. Be patient. Read books (or blogs :) about parenting.

9. Take regular time to talk about pregnancy. Tell your wife about the traits that will make her a wonderful mom. Plan for the future. Discuss the question: “What experience do we have with children? What else do we need to learn? Who can leave work for how long? Who can help with the child? "Etc..

10. Don't be silent :) Don't be afraid to ask your wife what else you can do to help her cope better with the pregnancy. Don't be afraid to share your feelings and experiences with her.

Try to make sure that pregnancy is only mentioned with pleasure.

The above things are for the first half of pregnancy. (However, this does not mean that you can stop observing them further.)

The second half of the advice concerns the period when it is already impossible not to notice the stomach, instead of nausea, back pain came, and it was time to pack up things in the hospital.

1. Sign up for a course for pregnant women. And visit them with your wife! You don't want her to sit there alone, surrounded by couples.

2. Find out the important information: what is the vaccination situation? what do you need to get government aid? Show that your wife doesn't need to worry about bureaucratic issues.

3. Consider what can help you cope with the physical stress of pregnancy. Help your wife find and attend some pilates, yoga, swimming.

4. Maintain your sense of humor. Even if you have dozens of witty jokes in your tongue about changes in your wife's appearance or behavior, voicing them is not a good idea.

5. Patiently and dreamily keep your hands on your stomach when your wife wants it :) Even if you don't feel any movement there.

6. Talk and sing to your child. This will help him recognize your voice more quickly after birth.

7. Write a letter, song, poem for your child. Craft something for her.

8. Help your wife dress and put on shoes. She should no longer bend over, and you have a chance to practice the skills that you will need soon.

9. Discuss whether you have a joint childbirth (I unquestioningly recommend the answer so), what you will do, or stay until the end. Pack your belongings to the hospital. You will then have to look for everything from them.

10. Remind your wife daily that she remains attractive to you.

Do not forget DO NOT poultry coffee in the apartment and make sure that your wife does not expect cake and champagne at home after giving birth.


Good afternoon, dear mums and dads. Welcome to the site administration

Any pregnancy, even the most desired one, becomes stressful for the family, as it entails serious changes in marital relations and the lifestyle of future parents. First of all, a woman faces global changes in life, because while waiting for a baby she changes not only physically, but also. The expectant mother begins to feel herself in a new way: she focuses on the processes taking place inside her, adapts to the not always pleasant "companions" of pregnancy (toxicosis, weight, edema, etc.), and at the same time becomes impressionable and vulnerable. Right now, more than ever, she needs the support and support of the second half.

Of course, during this period a woman is not always the same as always, she can become demanding, capricious, jealous. Her mood can change several times a day. But do not forget that the pregnant woman does not quite belong to herself: her psyche is largely controlled by hormones and poor health. Therefore, in order to gain understanding at this stage, the future dad will partly have to work for two. But how to build the right relationship with your wife, to understand what she wants if a man sees only external changes and can only guess what is happening in her soul? In this case, knowledge will come in handy to make it easier to understand the situation.

Will you become a dad? Find a place for a feat

It is really difficult for a man to understand what his wife feels, why she acts one way or another, because he himself cannot experience pregnancy at a physiological level. But this is not at all a reason to simply dismiss the "quirks" of your beloved. So that it does not seem to you that your spouse is deliberately bullying you and complaining for no reason, try to understand the processes that occur during her pregnancy.

Examine the materiel of pregnancy. There are many ways to get information about carrying and giving birth to a child: read specialized books and magazines for moms and dads with your wife, listen to lectures and webinars from doctors and perinatal psychologists, attend classes for future parents. Knowing about pregnancy and baby's development will help you gain a deeper understanding of your spouse's condition. You will be able to understand that the wife's well-being is often far from ideal, to understand the physiological causes of ailments and mood swings, to make sure that many anxieties have their basis.

Apply the knowledge gained in practice. Having properly "grounded" on the topic of pregnancy, you will be able to provide real help, reassuring your loved one in time, suggesting the right decision. For example, noticing an inadequate change in your wife's taste preferences and getting an idea of ​​the origins of such changes (lack of vitamins and microelements, reactions to emotional stimuli, hormonal changes), you will be able to choose alternative products that are necessary for her in terms of composition or properties.

Find a place for a feat. If possible, do not hesitate to sign up with your wife for special classes for parents-to-be. In addition to obtaining the necessary information in a "live" presentation, you form a clear idea of ​​your role in this whole process: what is in your field of responsibility, how exactly can you alleviate the condition of your wife, how to interact with the child? When pregnancy becomes common, the woman ceases to feel lonely, there is a feeling of security and confidence that everything will be fine with her and the child. And this significantly reduces the level of anxiety and stabilizes the mood.

Restructuring family relationships

You will have to accept that over the course of nine months, your wife's appearance will become more and more distant from wedding photographs, and marital feelings for you may fade into the background, giving way to some obsession with yourself and an unbearable character.

Make allowances for the "motherhood dominant". If you attend courses with your wife, you will find out that this is a woman's natural focus on maintaining pregnancy. During the period of waiting for the baby, the woman turns on and often begins to dominate the natural biological need to ensure the well-being of the unborn child. Such an attitude, of course, can offend a spouse, but you need to understand that this is the way to go. Increased attention to her own needs allows a woman to identify and correct any problems in time.

Find a trait in your wife that you especially like right now. It is you who are able to show your soul mate that she is not only a future mother, but also a beloved wife. Try to look at her from the other side, fall in love again. After all, right now your spouse is most touching in her vulnerability. Pregnancy is a time when an inner beauty opens up in his wife for a loving man, more personal and deeper than just external attractiveness. Give compliments, romantic evenings, or walks. Maintain your wife's desire to look pretty, and don't forget about gifts. These little things will make a huge contribution to your family relationship, which is now moving to a new stage.

Dad-to-be: a wife should be helped

Pregnancy is, of course, not a disease, but a rather serious burden on a woman's body. In addition, carrying a baby brings a lot of restrictions to daily life. Such seemingly mundane things as contact with cleaning agents, restriction on lifting weights, etc., can negatively affect the health of the expectant mother and baby. Therefore, if you notice that your spouse has become irritable and began to express complaints to you that were not there before, this is a serious "bell". Perhaps she's just tired. The husband's help, and sometimes his leading position in this situation, is simply necessary.

Try to take on some of the household chores on yourself, without waiting for requests or reproaches. This does not mean that you have to put your pregnant wife to bed and take on the entire burden of work and household. A measure is needed everywhere, and in a conversation with your wife you can find out what kind of help she would need at this time. Perhaps it will be taking care of cooking (or ordering homemade food from a trusted store, visiting a cafe) during a period of toxicosis, when a woman is sometimes simply unbearable to stand at the stove.

Think about new home appliances. If you do not have the opportunity to provide your wife with daily help with household chores (for example, you work late), or you find it difficult to overstep the traditions of the parental family and your beliefs (“a man should not do women's affairs”), you can always find a way out. Perhaps you will come to the idea of ​​purchasing, which will be useful not only now, but will also significantly facilitate life after the birth of a baby (for example, a dishwasher, a robot vacuum cleaner, a multicooker, etc.).

Distribute household chores more or less equally. Thus, for example, that you can do some of them on weekends (for example, buy groceries for the whole week, iron clothes, etc.).

Family relationships: what a future dad can do

Often, dads-to-be are sure that their main and only concern for their wife and baby is making money. This, of course, cannot be done without it, but it is equally important for a pregnant woman to constantly feel other care, which is called "participation." Family relationships become more harmonious when the husband is involved in pregnancy not only financially, but also emotionally.

Try to be with your wife as often as possible. Meet and see off to work, if possible, go for a walk, go to the pool, arrange small excursions, or just spend the weekend together planning the future with your baby. If time permits, accompany your wife from time to time to the antenatal clinic. During pregnancy (especially the first one), visits to the doctor can be quite disturbing for a woman; from anxiety or embarrassment, she can forget to find out some information, to tell something. In this case, your presence and timely inclusion in the dialogue will help correct the situation.

Take on "monitoring". The expectant mother usually has a lot of trouble preparing for the birth of a baby. I would like to think over everything to the smallest detail, to clarify some points for myself, to make sure. Try to understand your spouse's feelings and take part in resolving them. For example, a man will definitely choose a good stroller from those that his wife liked, focusing on quality and technical issues; can express his opinion on the design of the nursery, etc. Do not stay away from the doctor or the doctor, analyze the options, evaluate the conditions, go with your spouse to find out all the details. You yourself will be surprised how imperceptibly you will feel the communion with your wife and everything that happens.

Conversations "with the belly"?

For the expectant mother, contact with the child during the period of his intrauterine development is a natural process. She communicates with him at the level of hormonal reactions, emotionally, physically, mentally. Often a woman talks to an unborn baby, reads fairy tales to him, sings ... For a man, all this often looks absurd, he does not understand how to establish contact with someone who is not yet visible. Therefore, future fathers often dismiss themselves: “When he’s born, then I’ll touch his heels,” “If he turns at least three years old, he will understand something, then we will communicate.”

Believe that the baby is already living. In fact, during the period of its intrauterine development, the child already has its own life. Despite the fact that he is still an “invisible man” for you, the baby in the mother’s belly enriches her sensory experience with every week of pregnancy: it picks up her mood better and better (by heartbeat and hormonal signals), hears her voice and distinguishes sounds of the outside world, feels the touch on the stomach. Therefore, you should not postpone communication with the baby for the future, especially since by establishing contact with the baby now, you will greatly facilitate the first months after his birth for yourself and your wife. After all, the child will be more likely to calm down in your arms and fall asleep to your voice if he is familiar with them in advance.

Don't miss the opportunity to see the baby. To do this, try to go with your wife for an ultrasound scan. The opportunity to see the child in his movements with his own eyes contributes to the man's full awareness of the fact of his future paternity.

Develop communication skills. Every pleasant word addressed to his wife, a gentle touch will certainly be passed on to the child, because mother and baby are inextricably linked. In addition, you can communicate directly with the baby himself through his mother's belly. If you feel uncomfortable talking “to your belly,” you may not say anything at all. Just listen to the life that exists inside your wife, transfer the warmth of your hands to the child, catch his movements. Such contact with an unborn baby is especially important if the pregnancy turned out to be unexpected and at first you were overcome by doubts about the unborn baby. It will be very useful for both your wife and your son or daughter to receive confirmation of their need for you every day. This will greatly reduce the woman's nervousness and improve your family relationships.

Of course, not all dads-to-be have to be heroic while expecting a baby. Many pregnant women quite peacefully await the appearance of a baby, without experiencing strong emotional shocks, physical ailments and "deterioration" of character. Nevertheless, they also need special treatment, care and participation, even if they do not show their needs with scandals, tears, or eternal discontent. Remember that it is you, as a husband, who can make sure that memories of pregnancy are accompanied by smiles, and not resentments.