How to get rid of an annoying fan. How to get rid of an annoying fan

Girls sometimes find themselves in situations where they cannot explain to a guy that his courtship is not needed. It seems that you don't want to offend, but you also need to protect yourself somehow. Then an acute question arises: how to get rid of an annoying admirer if he does not understand?

1. Truthful way

Your annoying admirer is, first of all, a person. Yes, he does not understand that his courtship annoys you. This happens especially when feelings are overwhelmed. But all of us deserve to be treated with respect.

So talk to him to be honest:

1. Be bold and explain the situation: honestly, as it is. Just choose words so that they do not offend him.
2. Speak calmly but confidently and persistently.
3. If there is already another man nearby, say so. He needs to understand that he spoils your relationship with his behavior.

Your honesty is important to you first of all. So your conscience will be clear and there can be no questions in this case.

2. Ignore him

If he does not understand your efforts, you will have to behave harder. What does it mean? Turn on ignore mode:

• Don't pick up your phone.
• Add to all kinds of blacklists.
• And don't even say hello when you meet.

Do not feel sorry for him and do not make any compromises. Be decisive. If you give even the slightest indulgence, you will never get rid of this problem.

3. Refuse tokens

Do not accept gifts... Yes, this is certainly nice. But by doing so, you give him a reason to think that he can count on something. And refuse any help. It doesn't matter, even from the little things.

For example, do not give in to suggestions to take your dog for a walk or something like that. This will oblige you to respond with a service to a service, and therefore enter into communication with him.

4. Do not react to provocations

He claims that he cannot live without you and presses with it. Don't react to this, not a single real suicide has warned anyone in advance about his intention to commit suicide.

But if you see that a person's nerves are at their limit, tell his parents or relatives, friends. Thus, you will absolve yourself of responsibility.

5. Invite him for shopping

Say that you are going to the store and you are bored alone. He will, of course, offer his company. Take action on the spot. Say whatever you want that money has forgotten, and you need this expensive dress. Buy all sorts of knickknacks. Spend money, and only it is obligatory. If you don't offer to pay, hint. In general, produce the worst and most non-economic behavior.

Most likely, many of our tips will seem silly, but sometimes they work great in similarly silly situations.

6. Use prohibited techniques

If you don't understand the truth, lie:

• Put your wedding ring on your finger, let him see. Even if he is not there yet, pretend that you are not alone.
• Walk in front of him with another gentleman. Seek help from a friend, let him play along with you.

Or offer him friendship... This is very offensive, he will understand that as a sexual object you are not interested at all. These things hurt your vanity a lot, but sometimes there is no other way.

7. You are doing well

Show the guy that you are fine without him... Probably, it will offend him a little, hurt him. Most likely, it will give him mental suffering. But if there is no other way out: smile and have fun in front of him.

Spread information about your new suitor through mutual friends. If a man really loves, he will be glad for you, and will not interfere. Maybe after such an act you will even change your mind.

And if this is just his selfishness, then it’s not scary to teach him a lesson and make it clear that you cannot put your own interests above the interests of others.

8. Behave inappropriately

Can't he just tell him to leave you alone? Get started behave inappropriately:

1. Throw tantrums on every occasion.
2. Chat incessantly.
3. Be naughty, stamp your feet.
4. Criticize more. Everything: clothes, actions, opinions.
5. Get jealous to the extreme.

You know better, you probably know what exactly annoys him.

What if it is fate... There are many known stories that girls share on the Internet, when they brave guys, and then married them. And this marriage became really happy. Perhaps it will be so in your case too.

10 use magic

When your hands get discouraged, and you do not know what to do, try to read lapel plots... There are many of them, for example:

1. Put a pinch of salt in his pocket and say: “ I annoyed you so that you don't think about me. How will you find her there, you will completely forget about me».
2. Take his picture, set it on fire: " As I burn your photograph (name), I liberate you from love. Forget me, I'm not yours, you will have another family!»

Well, what if it helps.

What not to do

The most important thing - don't give in vain hopes... It often happens that the ladies themselves are to blame in such situations. They enjoy their protective position and drive a man in love maddened.

On the same day, they go to the cinema and restaurants with him, accept gifts and tokens, smile and flirt. The next, they are outraged. This behavior is very ugly, and rather characterizes the girl as an inadequate person than that very annoying admirer.

How to get rid of an obsessive admirer?

So, let's summarize. What is the best way to behave?

• Be persistent and determined, calm and calm.
• Ignore calls, refuse tokens and gifts.
• Sometimes you can cheat.

What shouldn't you do?

• Do not be rude, do not humiliate.
• Don't react to provocative conversations.
• Don't let yourself take advantage of the person's feelings and your position.

Always better cut it off right away and say you don't want a serious relationship... In order not to waste either his time or his own. Let it be hard now, but then everything will work out. This is better than pulling rubber and tormenting him with the unknown. And then it is really unclear how it will end. It will be an honest and responsible act. Perhaps that guy will thank you for him later.

We have tried to consider this vital issue from all sides. Now you need not only to think about how to get rid of an annoying fan, but also to identify the reasons: why you are in such a situation. This is necessary so that it does not repeat itself.

Video: how to "turn off" a guy

In this video, psychologist Ekaterina Solovieva will tell you some interesting tips with which you can once and for all "kick off" a guy:

Many women dream of male attention, but in practice, its excess often turns into problems and troubles. Then the question arises: how to get rid of an annoying admirer, so as not to offend him, and keep your nerves? If words don't work, use simple psychological tricks.

How to get rid of an annoying man

Many girls, in an attempt to get rid of an annoying man, begin to behave defiantly, aggressively, but do not get the expected result. It's all about male psychology: young people often perceive such behavior and rudeness as a challenge. The instinct of the hunter and the winner forces them to show even more active attention. To avoid this situation, use small tricks.

1. In the process of communication, try to find out what annoys the annoying gentleman most of all, what flaws in the girl annoy, repel him. You need to find out everything unobtrusively so that the guy does not suspect that something was wrong, then begin to behave in a way that will be unpleasant for him. Soon, the boyfriend will run away from you, complaining about his blindness and sudden insight.
2. Avoid any physical contact, portray complete independence. Do not accept a hand when exiting a transport, do not let pay for you, etc. Show that you need his help. It will be unpleasant for any man, the ardor will calm down.
3. Pretend that you do not understand his hints. This will only provoke a mature adult man, but it will scare the young man away.

How to get rid of an obsessive admirer

When psychological tricks and conversations do not help, you will have to be rude. To discourage an unwanted gentleman, there is no need to swear and scoff at him. You need to analyze your communication and gradually change it.

1. Tell about your fiancé (even if he does not even exist), that you are planning to tie the knot. Most men prefer not to encroach on women who a priori belong to others.
2. A good stop sign is a wedding ring: even if you have not yet visited the registry office, you can put any thin gold ring on the ring finger of your right hand. So it becomes clear to men that the lady is busy.
3. If the acquaintance happened on the Internet, you can simply stop responding to messages or add the subscriber to the black list. The risk remains that a strong interest in your person will not fade away and an unfamiliar boyfriend will try to write from another page. In this case, it will not work quickly to get rid of the obsessive admirer.

How to discourage a pesky boyfriend

Modern men, especially married ones, try not to associate life with wasteful and capricious women. You will quickly be able to scare away the annoying boyfriend by demonstrating obsession and demanding. Ask to pay for you in a cafe, demand expensive gifts, annoy him with your bad habits. Does not help? Then start to get acquainted with him and flirt with other guys. Do whatever he might not like. If this method of how to get rid of an obsessive man did not help, think about it: maybe he really loves you, and this is fate?

How to get rid of your annoying boyfriend

Sometimes the need to get rid of the annoying boyfriend arises also for unfree ladies. This could be a colleague at work, a casual acquaintance from social networks, or even a neighbor in the stairwell. The most effective method to put a gentleman in his place is to say that you are married. For most guys, this fact discourages the desire to appear in your field of vision, to spend energy on flirting. In some cases, it is worth asking your spouse / friend to meet you.

Video: how to get rid of an obsessive admirer

Probably, any of the women like swimming in male attention. Unobtrusive flirting always raises spirits, self-esteem and gives a woman's nature more charm. Flirting can be seen as a specific instinctive behavioral strategy aimed at finding the perfect partner. Flirting is always based on sexual interest, while remaining a game without predetermined boundaries, but leaving a chance for the continuation of the relationship. However, sometimes male attention can be overly intrusive or undesirable for a woman.

Women cannot enjoy flirting with a man who is simply unpleasant to them or who seems dangerous. In such cases, the attention from the man will burden and strain the woman. Not only flirting with him, but in general, a woman will not want to meet by chance. Of course, men themselves can suffer from too intrusive attention. But it is much easier for a man to eliminate this "problem" because of the peculiarities of the mechanism of female flirting and courtship.

As a rule, a woman almost immediately understands whether a man is pleasant to her or not, whether she wants to continue the relationship, or it is excluded for her in principle. Therefore, it is better to suppress unwanted courtship immediately. It should be noted, however, that women who do not fully understand the psychology of men sometimes provoke men's "attacks" themselves.

A man can interpret a woman's behavior as encouraging flirting if she passively but kindly accepts his attempts to courtship or deliberately, as if challenging him, demonstrating his active behavior, even if it is associated with outright rudeness. If a woman actively demonstrates a lack of desire to continue any relationship or acquaintance, then most men can perceive this precisely as a challenge. Accordingly, the man will try to break the "fortress" with the help of annoying courtship.

Therefore, wishing to stop any flirting, but simply to turn off a man, it is better for a woman to remain completely indifferent in her behavior. If a man compliments, says something nice, just don't react. The man, too, is well aware that he is acting compulsively. Don't look him in the eye for more than three seconds. Men regard a direct and intent look in the eyes as a hint. Answer any of the questions without a smile. Smiling in this case is not appropriate even out of politeness.

If you have a brilliant wit in life, resist the temptation to start demonstrating it in practice. This will make the man think that you are deliberately involving him in the game. Absolute indifference, on the contrary, will serve as an unambiguous sign for the obsessive gentleman, indicating that you are not inclined to continue communication. Soon, he will likely give up on his attempts to court or flirt with you, because he will feel uncomfortable doing so.

Let the man know that you are protecting your own personal space from him. To do this, it is enough not to stand close to the man, not to bend over to him, if something is not heard. Keeping your distance will show that you do not want rapprochement. You can supplement this behavior with special gestures.

For example, cross your arms in front of you, as if explaining that you keep your space locked. In other words, deliberately draw boundaries between yourself and the man. Make sure that the man cannot touch you, even by accident. Don't let him hug you, even in a friendly way. And if touching, for example, within the framework of business etiquette, is inevitable, then show unequivocally that these gestures give you discomfort and are not pleasant. Noticing an accidental touch, show the man that this has not passed by your attention. And be sure to immediately step back away. Do not make any sudden movements. Demonstration on your part will be perceived by a man as cutesy. Remain completely indifferent here, and your reactions should be as negative as possible.

If in general you consider yourself to be a friendly person, then it will most likely be quite difficult for you to maintain a callous expression on your face. Men, who are inclined to flirt, certainly perceive a smile as a sign of readiness to communicate. If you laugh at all, then the man will be sure that you are extremely positive towards him and are also flirting with him. In general, men have a subtle sense of how a woman can be influenced. And most likely the obsessive beau will try to make you laugh. For this reason, still make an effort not to laugh or even smile.

As another technique to win the favor of a woman, a man can use indecision or feigned timidity. It is necessary to immediately suppress such attempts to court, if you know for sure that you do not need a man. Don't be afraid to hurt men's feelings. It's not your fault that he has any plans for you. Critical statements and straightforwardness in this case will help you. If you still have to talk to an unpleasant man, do not hide your annoyance and bad mood at the same time.

If intrusive attempts at courtship do not stop, react to any rapprochement or the beginning of a dialogue with you as if it were something incomprehensible. Make surprised eyes if a man offers you something specific. You can even play a little crazy person out of yourself. But try not to overdo it.

Do not flatter a man even jokingly. Flattery disposes of people, no matter how open it is. And when flirting, people always use at least some flattery. If you flatter an unpleasant gentleman in something, then this will spur him on even more. Don't say anything nice to a man at all, even with undisguised irony. Such words in the mind of the "hunter" will give rise to thoughts that you are delighted with him. If possible, do not communicate with a persistent man at all.

Do not ask for help yourself and, of course, do not offer your help in anything. So his motivation will be noticeably diminished. If, well, nothing works at all, call someone from your acquaintances for help. An annoying suitor will no longer feel so free if you are constantly in the company of third parties.

These tips usually help you get rid of an unwanted fan in a fairly short time. If, having tried everything, a person still imposes his society on you, then it makes sense to doubt its adequacy. But even in such "difficult" cases, along with indifference, maintain politeness. In principle, it is impossible to be rude to men. In such situations, being rude will only work against you. Indifference, on the contrary, sooner or later will definitely do its job.

Every girl is pleased when she is taken care of, when she is given compliments and gifts. And so, in some company, or on the street, or even in a cafe, a person comes up to her and tries to start a conversation. Let's also say that he is cute and says many nice words to her. It is not surprising if a girl at the end of a sweet conversation, at the request of a new acquaintance, leaves him her phone number.

Then, of course, he will call, and she may also be him, because she has a favorable Beeline tariff on her phone, and she can talk on the phone as much as she wants.

Communication can continue for a while before the girl begins to realize that something is wrong. Perhaps she is beginning to be embarrassed by the personal qualities of her new acquaintance, his excessive obsession or strangeness. Then embarrassment develops into dislike, and even anger. And now, a new acquaintance turns into an annoying admirer, and it is obvious to everyone except him that the girl does not need him. The young lady understands that this type will not achieve anything with her perseverance, because his courtship does not arouse anything in her but anger. He tries to smite her with his surprises, but she doesn't see anything cute in them.

Familiar situation? Of course, it may not necessarily be your new acquaintance. An annoying admirer may well turn out to be a neighbor at the entrance, and a colleague at work, and even an ex-boyfriend who cannot come to terms with the fact that there will be no continuation of your story. The problem, however, remains the same: how to convey to the guy the idea that there can be nothing between you?

First and foremost, remember, compassion and compliance should be left aside. State categorically about your intentions to walk different paths with the young man through life. You should not point out the shortcomings of a man in order to explain to him the unwillingness to be with him, because, most likely, he will begin to assure you that he will correct himself, and will try to prove it to you at every opportunity. Tell him casually that many women will gladly accept his advances, because he is a very interesting man.

If a young man begins to assert that he does not need any other girl besides you, that without you he will simply wither and die, do not listen. If people died of unrequited love, there would be no one left on earth for a long time. If your fan is over 16 years old and does not have a tendency to excessive romanticism, you can be completely calm for him. By the way, if women are going through a breakup for a long time, then men quickly find comfort in their next passion. Be sure that today he will swear to you that he will die of melancholy, and in a week (if not the next day) you will be able to find out that he has a new girlfriend. In general, do not believe in blackmail.

It may be that the fan fulfills all your desires, if you just hint about them. And even if you do not tell him about anything, he is still trying to please you with something. In return, of course, he does not ask for anything, he is pleased only that he can be useful to you. Only now it is not clear why this feeling arises, as if you are morally indebted to him. Upbringing does not allow you to be harsh towards him, if he does so much for you. However, this does not mean that for all the good that he did, you must certainly give him your soul and body. In our society, service is usually provided for service. He did something good to you, repay him with something equivalent. But if you do not want to feel like a hostage (after all, it will be difficult for you to deny him a request for a favor after everything he has done), it is better not to ask your boyfriend for help at all if you want to exclude his presence from your life.

Gifts should not be accepted. After all, even a bouquet of flowers, which you accept out of pity or for some other reason, can strengthen the hope of an annoying fan that he still has a chance. And it will be more difficult to extinguish this hope later than to politely refuse to accept the gift right away.

If a fan does not give you a pass, then, of course, this in itself is an invasion of your privacy. However, it is practically impossible to bring him to court for this in our country. Nevertheless, remember that love, which is expressed in the fact that a young man is watching you at the entrance of your house or at the exit from work, calls your direct Beeline number a hundred times a day, this is, in fact, not love rather insanity. And, as you know, obsession with another person refers to mental disorders. Therefore, you need to be on the lookout with the fan who is following you. Remember that you do not owe anything to the person who for some reason fell in love with you. You have the right to demand that he leave you alone. Keep in mind that you must maintain a sense of your own dignity when speaking, and under no circumstances allow yourself to be rude or too harsh to your fan. If the conversation doesn't work, threaten to sue. If after that he continues to chase you, go to the police station and declare that you are being chased by a maniac. Do not be afraid to seek help, because as mentioned above, being overly intrusive can be evidence of a mental disorder. And if so, then your life and health may be in danger.

By the way, a very effective method that will allow you to get rid of an annoying fan is to appear in front of him with another guy, strong and attractive. If you don't have a boyfriend, ask a relative or friend to act as him.

If you follow these few simple rules, you will never again see either your annoying admirer or his devoted, almost doggy look, and never hear his unnecessary confessions.

So, by no means make concessions. If you succumb to weakness once, the next day your fan will think that he may well demand more. Also, drive guilt away from you. It is not your fault that the person has chosen you as the object of his ardent love. In any case, if your admirer does not cause any emotions, you cannot make him happy, even for a short time. The sooner he understands this, the sooner he will be rehabilitated after this unrequited love. Show the fan that you are affectionate towards the other person. At first, it will be difficult for him to cope with the feeling of pain and jealousy, but then, over time, his love for you will fade away, because no feelings can stand if a person sees that happiness has smiled at his rival, and it no longer makes sense for him to fight for you.

Well, what woman doesn't like attention? Even if there are such people, they are in the overwhelming minority. - it's fun! Attention to yourself makes you feel good. On a biological level, flirting is a way of choosing a partner, which is expressed in an interest in individuals of the opposite sex. But let's leave biology, flirting, it's just a harmless and non-binding game with an eye to the possible development of relations in the future - that's all.

However, courtship can sometimes be undesirable. If a man who shows interest in you is unpleasant to you or you feel a threat coming from him, or maybe you just do not see him as your possible partner, in this case, the attention shown on his part becomes painful. Therefore, you want to get rid of such a man as soon as possible.

In fairness, it should be noted that not only women can become victims of annoying courtship. There are many known cases when men also act as victims. But today we will consider a situation in which unwanted attention is directed to a woman. Men can also read this article for the sake of "sports" interest, but they should take into account that the mechanism of female courtship is different from that of men, and the female reaction is also different. Therefore, most of the recommendations below will not work for men.

In the mid-20s of the last century, in the United States, when the country was on the verge of the Great Depression, the question of harassment arose very sharply. Many women have fallen victim to sex crimes. In this regard, in Washington (if my memory serves me), a special women's group "Anti-Flirt" was even organized, which taught its members the rules of "non-provocative behavior" in order to prevent unwanted harassment from men.

Of course, we are not going to organize such a group right now, but nevertheless, let's find out how to behave a woman in order, as they say, to stop unwanted courtship at the root.

How to get rid of an annoying man

The main thing that should be remembered is that two models of a woman's behavior can be considered provocative and conducive to the continuation of "attacks" from a man; let us conditionally call these models - "appeal" and "challenge".

In the case of a "call" - everything is clear, this is a woman's behavior, which a man interprets as a desire to continue acquaintance. And in the case of a "call", the opposite is true. Any active actions (and especially rudeness) that a woman resorts to in order to “kick off a gentleman” are perceived as a “challenge” and further provoke the man.

I will not argue that all men, without exception, are ready to perceive the active reluctance of a woman to continue dating as a "challenge", but just those who are capable of annoying behavior do just that. Now let's go directly to the recommendations:

1Remain indifferent. Do not react to flirting imposed on you if you do not like it. Avoid long eye-to-eye glances because it shows you are interested. Your answer with a laugh or even a polite smile does not bode well. No matter how confident and witty you think you are, resist the temptation to start a verbal dive. By doing this, you will only give the "green light" to continue courting. Your indifferent behavior will send a very subtle but very clear signal: you are not interested, and you do not want to continue dating. If you make your boyfriend's words hang in the air and go unanswered, he will find himself in an awkward position and will rather stop trying than try to continue.

2Take care of your personal space. Keep a man away from him, giving him the opportunity to enter your personal space. Maintain a distance of at least one step. Do not lean towards the man, even if you have a hard time hearing what he is saying. Give unambiguous signals about the need for personal space by straying away from the man. For example, fold your arms over your chest to show lack of interest or dislike. In general, constantly create a "buffer zone" between yourself and the man.

3Avoid physical contact. Never let a man hug you or even touch you lightly. If the touch cannot be avoided, you should not show by gesture or movement that it is even a little pleasant for you. Even if the man touched you by accident, do not disregard this fact and disconnect the contact. However, you shouldn't make sudden movements. A sharp twitching of the hand, a demonstrative shaking of the shoulders, combined with an indignant expression on his face and phrases: "What is it !?", "What's the matter !?", etc., can only provoke a man. You need to show discomfort and negative reactions with all your appearance, but do it not actively, but "lazily", maintaining indifference.

4You shouldn't laugh. This is the most difficult thing, especially for a cheerful person. When people laugh, they appear more approachable and open to communication. But, unfortunately, laughter is perceived as your interest and a positive reaction to flirting. A man very often uses the power of laughter in order to win over a woman. Therefore, your laugh in response to his joke will be unambiguously regarded as an incentive to continue flirting.

5Don't sympathize. Sometimes a man pretends to be timid and indecisive in order to make his courtship more effective. But if you do not want to continue dating, be ruthless and stop all his attempts at the very beginning, showing complete indifference, even though you may hurt his feelings in doing so.

6Prepare some sarcastic remarks. Criticism and negative words are very effective ways to end unwanted courtship. Instead of responding playfully and openly, enter the conversation with an obvious bad mood while maintaining a stern expression. The negative is usually unattractive.

• Sarcasm is a mockery that can begin as a praise or compliment, but always contains a sharply negative assessment of a person, event or object in general, exposing their shortcomings.

7Behave inappropriately to the situation. Respond with perplexity to every flirtatious signal from the man. Show that you have absolutely no idea what they want from you. For example, in response to flirting, act as if he is asking you about the design of an internal combustion engine. In this case, your facial expression should also be appropriate. You can generally try to "pretend" not quite normal. For example, introduce yourself as an activist of the Jehovah's Witnesses religious sect and start actively campaigning to attend prayer services. Only in this case, the main thing is not to overplay.

8Avoid flattery. A man is very encouraged by compliments. Be careful. Even if your praise is with obvious irony, a purposeful man may not understand the irony and take compliments at face value, and your ironic remark will turn in his imagination almost into an expression of complete delight with his person. Flattery is one of the most powerful flirting techniques, and using it carelessly will only increase interest in you.

9Avoid any form of contact. Discourage the man's courtship by avoiding any form of communication with him. Do not ask for or offer him help, do not accept invitations or ask for advice. Minimize the opportunity to spend time not only in his company, but also in contact with him in general. All of this will greatly reduce his motivation to look after you.

10Protect yourself with the help of your friends. Thank God there are friends in the world! Including a third person or group of people in the conversation will help you get out of the man’s compulsive courtship situation. It doesn't matter if it's a friend or girlfriend, but in the presence of a third person, the boyfriend will be much less comfortable, especially if your friend is active, starting a conversation on a deliberately boring or obscure topic. Finally, your friend may come up with something to explain to the annoying man that you are completely uninterested in dating.

In conclusion, I will say that, of course, you may run into a difficult case where none of the above tips will help. True, this will happen only if the man is mentally not entirely normal. However, the main thing to remember is always keep a cool indifference and just be deadly polite. Your rudeness in this case will only work against you, as well as disposing behavior.

FROM THE AUTHOR: My answers in the comments are the opinion of a private person and not a recommendation from a specialist. I try to answer everyone without exception, but unfortunately I physically do not have time to study long stories, analyze them, ask questions about them and then answer in detail, and I also do not have the opportunity to accompany your situations, because this requires a huge amount of free time, and I have very little of it.

In this regard, I very much ask you to ask specific questions on the topic of the article, do not try to use comments for correspondence or chat, and do not expect that I will advise in the comments.

Of course, you can ignore my request (which many do), but then be prepared for the fact that I will ignore yours. This is not a matter of principle, but exclusively of time and my physical capabilities. Don't be offended.

If you want to receive qualified assistance, please contact for advice, and I will devote my time and knowledge to you with full dedication.

Best regards and hope for understanding, Frederica