How to understand the ex-husband wants to return. How to understand what the ex-husband still loves. He likes reminiscing about your relationship.

22.09.2019

Often women ask the question: how to understand the ex-husband. Relationships often develop according to a not entirely correct scenario, and therefore some difficulties arise. To understand the ex-husband or not is only your decision, but it should be noted that those who want to maintain friendly relations do this.

How to understand the ex-husband, what he wants? In fact, there are several situations that need to be treated in a special way:

Perhaps your ex-husband wants to help you and keep a good connection. You can understand if a man really has intentions to return to you if you see that he is eager to help. If he scatters his words into the wind and does nothing at the same time, you can immediately understand that you are not particularly important to your man. But in this he is hindered by his new woman. This should also be taken into account.
Understand the fact that if a man has become very attentive and caring towards you, it means that you are not indifferent to him and he wants to be there again. If you have not yet managed to find a second half for yourself, the scenario of your reunion is quite possible. Do not live in the past, everything that happened is long gone. Try to live in the present and see the opportunities that surround you.
If a man calls you more and more often, it is not difficult to guess what he wants in this situation. Most likely, he wants to be with you again, and he uses this type of communication in the early stages of courting you.

How to understand if there is another?

How to understand if a husband has a mistress? There is no secret here. There are only a number of irrefutable facts, based on which, you can be sure that a man has a mistress:

Very often he began to stay late at work under the pretext that his boss had detained him to complete a report or to carry out a personal assignment. Such delays are not uncommon, but not so frequent as to be delayed every day. So in this regard, you must follow your man and clearly see the whole picture.
How to understand that the husband has another? When he comes home from work, you probably hug him. If at this moment you hear the smell of women's perfume and, by the way, not your own, you may already create suspicion. Surely your man hugged someone, and this is already a sign.
Someone else's lipstick is a call to action. If you see traces of someone else's lipstick on a man's things, you shouldn't even doubt that they are cheating on you. This is very predictable and obvious. There are no excuses and excuses that could help solve the whole problem in such a situation. Everything is already serious here.
How to understand that a husband has a mistress? Telephone communication is a very striking example. If someone calls or writes to your husband at night, it's time to ring the bells. This is especially noticeable if a subscriber, signed as "STO" or "Phone Repair", calls him.
Messages are what have always served as vivid proof of treason. If a man is texting with someone and there are ambiguous SMS with the text "miss" or "kiss", there is clearly a mistress.

Former husband and his features

How do you know if your ex-husband wants to return? It's no secret that there is a whole list of features in a man's behavior:

Gives gifts and flowers. This is the first sign, very significant. Signs of attention are shown by a man for sure in order to please a woman. And such actions very often help to achieve the most important thing - the attention and love of the ex-wife.
Frequent meetings initiated by men. You can see how his eyes glow at the sight of you. Surely he does not take his eyes off you and constantly tries to scrutinize you from head to toe. This is a very vivid example of how a man speaks about the desire to return.
The ex-husband corrects the mistakes that were made, eradicates all his shortcomings that were noticed in him. This is a kind of correction of the situation that prompted the married couple to divorce.

Well, if you managed to find the answer to the question of how to understand that the husband loves his ex-wife, it is unlikely that it will be possible to stay together.

To answer the question for yourself, how to understand whether the husband loves his ex-wife, follow the man's behavior. For example, if he spends too much time with his ex, these are the first reasons to worry. Each time you will experience some difficulties and in the end you will just notice how the man completely switched over to communication with his wife.

How to find out about a mistress?

In the question of how to understand whether a husband has a mistress, it is important to look not only at the evidence, but also at the behavior of the man himself. Remember how in the very beginning he did not take his eyes off you? All the time I tried to touch and feel you with my own hands. So, in the case of a mistress, this will no longer happen. A man no longer strives to be with his beloved wife. All of his attention is riveted on another woman who attracts him more. And it's very scary when they find a replacement for you. You will indeed feel a little awkward and lonely. Without a loving man, life will become much more difficult.

Another sign of having a mistress is the lack of desire to make love. Usually a man is ready to please his wife around the clock. But what could have happened? Everything can change dramatically in one moment. Now a male representative no longer enjoys having a relationship in bed with his wife. The mistress has become a substitute, which can even be regretted.

The always good mood of a man can tell about his mistress. If earlier he came home from work tired, now he feels the best. Isn't that suspicious? It's time to ring the bells, because your man must have decided to cheat on you.

And if you don't know how to understand if your husband has another, keep track of his expenses. If you used to get 100% of his salary, now he can give 50-75%. Everything will refer to the fact that part of the funds from him was simply taken away by the boss for some wrong action. So that you understand, some of the money will go simply to provide for a mistress. You should be aware of such attempts at deception, so that you yourself do not find yourself in an unpleasant situation.

How to understand that the ex-husband still loves another woman? Look for the subtleties for answers. He may stop giving you the amount of time he needs, and his message to you may also change dramatically. In a word, any little thing can say about treason. Your task is only to be more attentive so as not to fall for tricks. You must maintain your dignity and not be offended. The cheater must be aware of the bitterness of losing you, make him suffer because he made a mistake and caused you terrible pain.

The reasons for divorce from a husband can be completely different circumstances: from his betrayal to unwillingness to provide for the family. The initiators of the separation are most often women, but sometimes men. In this case, the fair sex is very hard going through the breakup, secretly hoping that everything can still get better. But how to understand what the ex-husband is thinking when he constantly finds a reason to talk, meet or come to visit. Is it possible to believe him and whether he will not betray again.

How to understand the ex. What does he want

After parting, as a rule, communication between people who were once in love with each other stops. Each of them needs time to come to their senses, get used to the changes that have taken place in life, analyze everything that happened, understand themselves. Women try to understand where they were wrong, where they were wrong, what they did wrong, even if their husband cheated on them. At this time, it is very important not to overdo it with self-digging and the search for all conceivable and inconceivable shortcomings in oneself. People are imperfect, and a person is not to blame for all troubles. It is very important to let others take responsibility for their mistakes, rather than take the blame on yourself. Therefore, you do not need to immediately believe what the ex-husband will say when he reappears on the doorstep.

Very often, as soon as a representative of the sex gets used to the fact that her life is changing its course, she has new problems and responsibilities that require attention and strength, the former begins to constantly remind of herself. If there are joint children, this can be attributed to his desire to be with them, but when he now and then meets, wherever you go, calls with or without reason, tries to establish communication, although you broke up a few months ago, he pursues his own goals. But, unfortunately, they are not always associated with his remorse or desire to improve and become the man you will love again, learn to trust and be proud of.

Rarely, parting is painless and with the consent of both parties. Therefore, after it, it is so difficult to establish friendly communication and you just want to forget everything, like a bad dream. If there is no way to avoid meeting, your ex-husband's attempts to see you as often as possible may indicate his desire to improve relations. Do not rush to draw conclusions and do not rush to meet him. Focus on your feelings. If meeting with him makes you annoyed, angry or sad, ask him not to bother you so often or for a while, explain that you are not ready yet. If you are not at all in the mood to communicate with him, say so. Do not give him hope, do not try to be overly educated when a person does not understand the hints that he is not at all welcome.

If you leave yourself a chance to try again to build a relationship with him, and he agrees to leave you alone for a while, and then starts calling again, asking to meet and talk to him, do not refuse. Even if the relationship does not grow into something big, then at least you will no longer remember with bitterness the years you lived together or regret not trying to give the relationship another chance. After all, it is so important not to hide resentment in your soul, not to torture yourself in vain, but to treat this page in life as a useful experience that allows you to look at the world around you and your personal life in a new way.

In the same case, when the man himself decided to break off the relationship and after a while is looking for a meeting with you, it means that he began to doubt the decision. Do not think that he will quickly offer to live together. At the moment, he is trying to understand whether he did the right thing, did not rush, whether he was mistaken. If you want him back, give him a reason to stay. Show him that you understood your mistakes, corrected yourself and are ready to build relationships together and accept him for who he is, without trying to correct him or criticizing him for any reason.

When he only calls, when he is in a very cheerful state, after taking several glasses of alcohol, he appears at night, and then disappears again, without explaining anything, unfortunately, for him the ex-girlfriend is just a convenient option. He's not going to come back. Everything suits him. He spends his free time with friends, relaxes and goes about his business, but when he wants to feel cared for and affectionate, he remembers his ex. He has not changed, has not admitted mistakes, is not going to change anything in life. There is no need to talk about any feelings here. It will not be possible to return him, and to restore good relations, too. If you don't want to feel like a "spare" airfield, try to explain to him as soon as possible that you have a new life and he has no place in it. Take pity on yourself, let him go and allow yourself to enjoy life, and not depend on the whim of a man who is simply using you for his personal interests.

If a husband left the family because of another woman, but does not refuse to communicate with you, this does not mean at all that he still loves you. Take a closer look at him and his behavior. In the event that he promises to come in to help and does not come, without even bothering to call and warn that he will not come, his feelings have cooled down, and he only out of the kindness of his soul agrees to help you. Don't waste the best years of your life on him, hoping that he still loves you and will be back soon. Forget about it and take care of your own personal life. But if his new passion does not want your communication or she has some problems, and he prefers to help you, then everything is not so smooth in his new family. You managed to forgive him and want to return him at all costs, surround him with care, become an understanding, affectionate woman with whom he is so connected. And very soon he will return home. They do not refuse good things ...

The ex-spouse constantly calls and asks how you live, if his help is needed, he definitely wants to return home. So it only depends on your desire when it happens. But don't agree to take it back too quickly. Let him realize that you respect yourself and give him one last chance, so he should appreciate him. Otherwise, he will perceive your surrender as his personal victory and decide that you are crazy about him and forgive everything that he does not do. You must respect yourself, otherwise in a few years everything can happen again.
If a man continues to take care of you, pamper you with small gifts, has become much more affectionate and attentive than when you lived together, he again tries to win you over. An ex-husband who was caught cheating in this way tries to make amends, hoping that it can still be corrected. And the man with whom you broke up because he disappointed you is trying to convince you that you were in a hurry to break up, and demonstrates how good he is and deserves your love.

When conversations with your ex-husband on the phone drag out, and the calls themselves are being heard more and more often, and he repeats how pleased he was to hear you, he dreams of being there and renewing the relationship.
Attempts to do the things that unite you together do not yet indicate his desire to return. He may still have feelings for you, but not strong enough to renew the relationship. Thus, he controls you, creating in himself the illusion that he has everything under control and not wanting to part with the feeling of stability that you gave him.
When any conversations between you, one way or another, boil down to a discussion of why you broke up, he has not yet realized why this happened and wants to understand how to get everything back on track. Male pride does not allow him to admit his own mistakes. Only you can understand this situation. If you need him, make it clear that you don't mind trying to start over and subtly hint where he was wrong. If you want to get rid of it forever, stop communicating altogether.
If he is often interested in your mutual acquaintances, how you live, with whom you communicate, he is interested in learning about your status. On the one hand, it can be ordinary jealousy, when the feelings have not yet cooled down, and in this case there is every chance of returning it, and on the other, a sense of ownership, as they say, neither to oneself nor to people.

Do not rush to draw conclusions until you are convinced that the ex-husband really realized his mistake and is ready to correct. Don't try to find out the truth by seeking answers from him. Observe him, test it and only then make a decision: whether you agree with him again or is it better to limit your communication forever.

Here, it would seem, the fatal and last words have long been said, and the man who was dear, remained in the past, received the nickname "former", and now you only want one thing - so that nothing reminds of him, so that you can start building your own personal life anew, from scratch.

But no. Despite the fact that he himself made the decision to break up, the man continues to call, constantly finds an excuse to meet, visits your page on social networks and asks all common acquaintances about what is happening to you and whether you have a new boyfriend.

What is it? Realizing your own mistake and wanting to return? Or just behavior from the series: I won't give it to others myself? This is what we are going to talk about today. As well as whether it is worth taking a step forward or it is better to change the phone number and finally leave this man in the past, like, leaving, leave.

How to tell if your ex wants to return

A man wants to be in your life if he doesn't just call or show curiosity with people you know. He also takes active steps, at least shows that he is ready for them. For example, he constantly offers his help, it is important for him how your plumbing works, whether all the lights are on, whether it will not be hard for you to drag heavy bags from the store before some holiday. Just remember that if he really wants to return, then the initiative comes exclusively from himself, and not as a response to your request, since an ex-wife or girlfriend is not denied help not only by the one who wants to build relationships with her again, but also one who is simply well-bred.

Another sign that the ex wants to become the current one is realizing their own mistakes and trying to correct them. Anyone who tries to enter the same river a second time draws conclusions from the past and does not behave as he once did. He tries to re-conquer a woman, performs acts unusual for him. Moreover, regardless of whether he left himself, or it was you who sent him into retirement. Only those who are willing to change in order to be with a woman again really want to return.

Although we must immediately make a reservation that there are some individuals who, having once abandoned a woman, and then, without arranging their personal life with someone else, believe that their desire alone is enough for a woman to accept them again. Such a man just comes and says: here I am, love me and favor me. That is, he believes that he is such a gift that a woman will be happy only because he again drew attention to her. In this case, you have to run away from such a man, otherwise after a while he will again go on a free voyage, again nothing, or rather, will not find anyone, will return, and you will wait and forgive, and, accordingly, you will be unhappy.

A sign that a man still wants to be with you is his desire for open dialogue. The one who is silent, who does not voice his plans and feelings, does not yet know what he wants, or it is convenient for him to use his ex-wife (lover), for example, to satisfy his sexual needs, without promising anything in return.

Moreover, a man does not always speak about his plans and feelings directly, it can be both hints and reservations. Indeed, in essence, a man is a proud beast, and it is difficult for him to immediately admit that he was once wrong. Although if he does not voice anything at all, this is a reason to be wary, this is where the “dog in the manger” syndrome may appear. That is, he may not need you at all, it is simply unbearable for him to think that you will be with someone else.

How to help your ex get back

If you're sure you want your ex-man back, don't play cat and mouse with him. Be honest and open. A man should feel that you have forgiven him (and this is very difficult, because offenses do not go away so easily). And since a man loves first of all with his eyes, then you should every time meet him with a smile and dazzling appearance - well-groomed hands, beautiful clothes, elegant hair and makeup. And at the same time, in no case should you complain about your life. The only thing that you can afford is to hint to a man that you feel bad or hard without him. But just a hint.

There is no need to do a man a favor - like, of course, I feel offended and hurt, and in general, I can do just fine without you, but if you really want to ... This behavior is counterproductive. A man, no matter how much you want it, does not begin to feel his guilt more acutely, on the contrary, he begins to look no longer for a reason to return, but for reasons why he should not or does not want to do this. And this happens due to the fact that a man subconsciously feels that, having received power over him, you will constantly remind him that he was leaving, and then “he crawled”, you will play on this situation, use it for your own purposes ... Of course, it would be easier for you if you could inflict equal pain on him, but this is a dead end in the relationship, and sooner or later, such a relationship will end again, only finally.

You can also show your willingness to accept a man back with the help of tactile contact, that is, with the help of touch. But here you have to act very delicately (in general, in this problem, delicacy is the first thing). Avoid compulsively trying to grab your ex's hand or hug him by the shoulders as you walk past to put the kettle on. It is quite enough when speaking sometimes to lightly touch his hand with the tips of his fingers. It is also appropriate to hug him at a meeting (if he comes to your house) - cordially and lightly, as if in passing. And immediately step back. This is a signal - you are glad to see it, you are ready to start a dialogue.
If there is a place in your house where your ex-man is most comfortable, then accept him there - this way you will show him that “his territory” is still waiting for him. The exception, of course, is the bedroom itself, that is, you can put it on the sofa in the living room, even if this sofa is your sleeping place, but it is not recommended to bring it into a room where there is only a double bed and a wardrobe. In the bedroom, men’s thoughts rush not to the future, but to the concrete present, that is, strictly downward, and this is already an invitation to sex, and not helping the man to return. True, in a certain situation, sex can also serve as help, but only if up to this point you have in every possible way avoided intimacy with this man.

When not to help and forgive

As mentioned above, first of all, you yourself must want to be with this person again, but if you have even the slightest doubt that you need it, then look for another man. And even more so, you need to think 33 times whether you want your ex to return if there is already another man next to you who is trying his best to make you happy. And even if you don't love him until you lose your pulse, there is no guarantee that, having accepted your ex, in a week you will not regret that you missed the person who did not betray you, for the sake of dubious pleasure again “step on the same rake ".

There are other situations as well:

If you are constantly given promises, but they do not fulfill anything, then there is no need to justify the man by the fact that he simply has no time. This self-deception can lead you too far. Anyone who wants to return everything will not "feed you breakfast", but will act.
If a man calls you only when he is in strong alcoholic intoxication, then you do not need to indulge yourself with the hope that: what is on the mind of a sober person is on his tongue. Far from it. And not the subconscious mind at this moment speaks in a man, but loneliness or the desire to talk (or have sex).

If, in conversations with you, your ex constantly mentions those women with whom he was after breaking up with you. The person who really wants to return will spare your feelings and, accordingly, will try to at least convince you that he just went "nowhere." And even if you clearly know that this is not so, his attempts to "lie to save" is a good sign. If he now and then in stories returns to his recent past, in which you were not, but there were other women, then he regrets exactly that time, and not about the past life with you.

If a man says that he wants to return everything, that he wants to return and be with you, and in the meantime he prefers to spend time not with you, but with his friends, at work or in a sports club, that is, he does not put your interests above his own. In this case, he only cares about his comfort, and he wants to return to you precisely because you are part of a comfortable life (clean shirts, hot food, regular sex). This is a manifestation of selfishness, and by definition, we are not talking about any kind of love. He does not want to return to you, he does not care who will be there, just not to be lonely and unkempt.

In general, the question of the return of a former man is a slippery question. On the one hand, maybe fate gives you both a second chance at happiness, and if you use it, nothing will separate you. But on the other hand, according to statistics, only 1 out of 20 couples have been living together for more than 3 years after reunification. Therefore, it is worth accepting the former only if you yourself are ready to forget about the past, that is, not to remember past grievances, not to reproach or blame the man. Two must change. Do not think that, having returned, a man automatically becomes your thing, falls into your eternal slavery. And that he, feeling his guilt, will put up with any of your whims. And you yourself can hardly forgive him for a new betrayal. Therefore, a man should understand that from now on he will have to carefully work on his relationship with you. So only a joint desire to be together and work in the name of this goal will make the second attempt successful and, possibly, bring happiness.

Psychologists have identified ten signs by which you can determine what he wants to tell you with his actions and hints. Perhaps shyness or condemnation of his own actions prevents him from directly telling you about his own mistake, but indirectly you are sure.

10 signs you want to renew your relationship

1. You are not aware of his personal life. Often, after breaking up, former partners flaunt a new relationship, remembering to leave painful comments about how good they are in a company with a new passion. If you do not know anything about the new relationship of your young man, social networks are not full of new photos of a happy life, and your mutual acquaintances do not say anything intelligible, then the reason may be the desire to return you.

2. His behavior seems strange to you and makes you think that he misses your relationship. This is especially evident in the quotes and publications on the guy's page, in which he indulges in despondency. Men are more straightforward, and women's intuition will definitely help you understand who the printed lines are addressed to. It is possible that the guy leaves them on purpose so that you can see them.

3. Calls from a former boyfriend for no apparent reason clearly indicate his desire to continue communicating with you. If you were indifferent to him, he would not bother you with calls and conversations on abstract topics. Frequent calls indicate that he really needs your company.

It’s already a tricky business. But getting over the breakup becomes much more difficult if the ex-boyfriend regularly sends you funny pictures on social networks, likes yours, and generally acts as if you decided to remain friends (although in fact nothing like this happened).

If all of the above is your case, then it is quite possible that your ex wants you back. And here are ten signs that will help make sure of this.

You do not know anything about his personal life - but not because you are not interested, but because it most likely does not exist (another option: he carefully hides this fact even from close friends, which is rather strange). If the ex-man still loves you, then it makes sense that he won't date someone else as long as there is at least a minimal chance of a happy reunion.

2. He makes you think that he misses you

It is worth pondering if he regularly writes in the status something like "My life suddenly became yours empty" or "It is a pity that some things cannot be returned." Or if he uploads your joint photos. Or when he writes on the wall that he is revising a film for the hundredth time, which has always been only "yours."

3. He turns to you with or without

If your ex wants to get you back, he will call and write much more often than etiquette should be for couples who have separated. In fact, sometimes he can contact you for all sorts of trifles or dial your number when he objectively has nothing to say. Notice that he regularly comes up with excuses for calls? 99 times out of 100, this means that he misses incredibly.

4. He finds ways to be close to you.

If the man you broke up with still has feelings, he will continue to act in a very warm or flirty manner. So pay attention to his behavior: a soft voice, a whisper in your ear and the habit of holding your elbow when he wants to say something important - all these are signs that very soon he will offer to reconnect.

5. He loves reminiscing about your relationship.

Ex-partners who find it difficult to move on (and are not even sure if they want to) tend to talk about past relationships as something wonderful. If every time you meet your ex starts a story like "Do you remember how we ...", or builds assumptions about "1000 and 1 reasons why we broke up," it is quite obvious that he hopes that you will give him a second chance.

6. He constantly talks about how he has changed a lot.

If your ex doesn't ask, but demands that you give him the opportunity to apologize for the mistakes he made in the relationship, there could be at least two reasons. First, he wants to clear karma and go forward. Second, he wants to clear a certain area of karma in order to suggest that you start from scratch.

7. He is jealous (and cannot hide it)

Depending on the degree of his jealousy, it may or may not be pleasant. So, for example, if your ex gets annoyed when he sees that you are openly flirting with another man, this can cause extremely positive emotions in you. But if he gets angry every time you start talking to a man, it's time to tell him that this is not normal. One way or another, both of these manifestations indicate that he is not as good without you as he would like.

8. He appears regularly in your favorite places.

If you bump into your ex-lover wherever you go, and this happens a little more often than every day, then you definitely have cause for concern. True, only if you do not want to renew the relationship. We recommend that you do not try to analyze the situation, but ask directly what is happening and how you should react to it. Further actions - according to the circumstances.

9. He calls you every time he drinks

The phenomenon of calls to those who were under the influence of a certain amount of alcohol not so long ago received an official name from psychologists - drunk dialing. Calls from the bar may not be anything serious, if during the entire time it happened no more than two times (imagine that no one else answered him except you). But if you hear his voice on the phone on Friday evenings with enviable consistency, you can be sure - he still feels something.

10. He directly says: "I miss you"

Does the man tell you frankly that he would like to turn back time and change everything? Believe me, it was very, very difficult for him to decide on such a step. But if he nevertheless pulled himself together and did it, he should be respected for his courage. At this time, you should think about whether you were both right when you wanted to end your relationship.