About insults and offended! Resentment against men and women's health. Aphorisms. Psychological techniques and correct reactions to offenders. Resentment towards men
Do you want to feel offended and can't find someone to blame? Appoint!
One of the main mysteries on our planet is female resentment, the root causes of which can be infinitely far from the final "product", and seem completely illogical to the representatives of the male half of humanity.
Even the strongest, smartest and most powerful man, able to understand the mysteries of nature, conquering icy peaks and bravely fighting wild animals, will save a woman's grievance in an unsuccessful attempt to understand its cause ...
Scientists all over the world have studied a huge number of sciences for millennia, but the only science has remained unsolved - the logic of women's grievances.
A woman's resentment pops up unexpectedly and at the most, it seemed, inappropriate moment, and immediately begins to overgrow with conjectures of her own composition, and as a result, the whole story takes on the outlines of a terrible thriller. Ignored the wedding anniversary, forgot my mother's birthday, did not notice a new hairstyle, and immediately began to snore after sex. One day of women's reflections - and the wrong purchase of bread pours out into a grand scandal with tears and tantrums. As the saying goes, "there would be a reason!".
You should not, hearing all imaginable accusations in your address, strain and cut the Gordian knot of the absoluteness of female displeasure. Just understand that female grievances are a kind of alarm system that notifies of malfunctions.
The thing is that the sensual and emotional "layer" of a woman instantly perceives any change in the situation, and the defense begins to collapse, reacting to any "stimulus". It seems that the series of offenses is endless - all due to the fact that any woman creates relationships and emotions in the family, and catches the lightest mood swings, and feels any pain more subtly.
Expressing resentment, a woman intuitively builds relationships and provides comfortable security. The age-old evolution has not changed anything to this day: women lead the process of fulfilling its rules in order to create the most comfortable zone for themselves and their families.
But sometimes lack of attention, constant resentment in society (at work, in a store, at home) involuntarily spills over into a chronic form of resentment - the so-called "victim". Unfortunately, more often such women are subject to the habitual complex of guilt before others - a woman carries this condition throughout her life, like a banner. The opportunity to get rid of this misfortune exists, but the woman herself will have to accept that all this is her merit, and not someone else's. It’s not bad if such a “victim” is ready for change and at least peers through the crack at his fears and worries. In this case, a personal psychologist can become a life jacket, who will slightly open the veil of secrets and root causes of such a woman's life.
I will not enumerate for a long time what women are offended - this is impossible. But I hope that you have caught the main thing - a courageous shopping trip, the most warm welcome of your unloved mother-in-law, taken out the trash, admiration for a new dress, a calendar of dates on your phone - and, of course, a vital piece of time for "letting off steam" (cry, take offense).
Do not litter your memory with grievances, otherwise there may simply not be room for wonderful moments.
Resentment is a negative emotional experience, both for the offended person and for the person towards whom this feeling is directed. Usually, resentment occurs in the place where aggressive reactions and anger are stopped by the person himself due to the fact that they can hurt another or are blocked by love. But like anger and aggression, resentment signals discontent, inadmissibility of what is happening.
Women's grievances against men are a separate topic and, in the everyday sense, are often taken apart from the general understanding of the grievance. This is because the emergence of claims and a bad mood of a woman for a man often looks spontaneous and unreasonable. This difference in attitude arises from differences in perception and the importance of the emotional sphere. So women are more sensitive than men, they notice more little things, and also attach more importance to those factors that can go unnoticed for men. Silence can be perceived as coldness, a sudden gift raises suspicions of wrongdoing, and the inability to remember the date of the first kiss is equated with a personal insult. In addition, an increased propensity for reflection makes women largely inflate the problem where there is no such thing at all.
Misunderstanding is growing thanks to the male approach to solving problems and the confidence that if there are negative moments, then they will tell him about it directly, and will not hint with a sad expression on his face. There are many ways to react to a woman's resentment, but many mistakenly believe their ladies that things and mood are in order, instead of asking additional questions. It is these different approaches to solving problems that cause misunderstandings. To prevent an increase in the number of female grievances, it is necessary to know the situations that provoke them in order to avoid and correct them. Or at least try to show the true essence of things with your behavior.
The most common causes of female grievances
Women's grievances against men arise mainly in relation to the sphere of interaction and interpersonal relations. The priority here is the lack of fulfillment of their expectations. A characteristic feature of female resentment is that expectations may not always be voiced to a man in advance, or even realized by a woman herself.
For example, going for a walk in the evening, she decides that this is a walk for two in the park, and the man calls a company of cheerful friends. Logic does not allow the woman to speak directly about her dissatisfaction, since none of the couple has specified specific options for the evening, so she can sit with a sour expression on her face or behave silently and coldly. If a man does not fulfill the specific agreements voiced (for example, to pick her up at seven from the salon), then this is perceived as indifference, and it does not matter that an emergency happened at work - they forgot about the woman, for her personal world this is a tragedy and the situation can only be rehabilitated unconditional confidence in their need, shown after. 
And the desire to be the only content of a man's life is in second place in terms of the popularity of the occurrence of resentment. In this case, no matter how the young man behaves, the situation will not change until the girl works with her inner world. Uncertainty and the need for constant reinforcement of one's own need are the result of complexes that force one to think out what was not in reality. So the phrase "normal dress" can be perceived as "you need to lose weight", and fatigue after a working day is perceived as a lack of personal interest in her. There are many options, only few people can do it all the time.
Next to the complexes is the fear of being rejected, thanks to which the solution of important and conflict issues is solved with the help of hints and manipulations. Those who fear direct conflict will never discuss the situation openly, as this may cause confrontation. But no one will attack the offended, they usually feel sorry for him and fulfill his requests.
Of course, there are direct provocations in order to take offense - these are frank views of other women, frivolity of the relationship or unwillingness to talk about the status of your couple and an objective lack of attention along with a dismissive and boorish attitude.
The consequences of resentment against a man
Resentment does not arise out of nowhere, and it depends on the woman herself how often and deeply she will be offended. Accordingly, the more often this happens, the more it suffers, because resentment is always about belittling, deprivation, shortage. Those who are not offended value themselves highly and can always find other sources of satisfaction of their needs, and not wait for them from others. The more a woman waits and manipulates the resentment, the worse her morale becomes as a result, her mood goes into a regime of chronic sadness. This position is not far from the development of clinical or the appearance of psychosomatic disorders.
Being an unmanifest aggression, resentment causes hypertension, stomach ulcers, and neurological disorders. When a girl takes offense at a man, physical stress can accumulate in the reproductive system, causing problems in the intimate sphere, gynecology, or provoke problems with conception.
In addition to influencing the woman herself, resentment has a destructive effect in general on the relationship in a couple. Trust is broken, there is no feeling of being able to be yourself. Manipulation forces both partners to be in constant tension, and when this happens for a long time, there is a tendency to avoid each other. The man begins to linger at work, because at home he is only waiting for another dose of claims, the woman is even more offended by such disappearances. If no one in a couple can stop the growth of such a critical situation, then in the end a woman's resentment can lead to divorce, although it could be resolved with one open conversation, for which tact, restraint, understanding and courage are needed on both sides.
If resentment, as a way of interacting with the world, is fixed, then after a while a woman may find herself in social isolation. At first, people will feel sorry for her and try to help, but after the next colossal spent efforts they will go to those with whom an open dialogue is possible.
How men react to women's grievances
It is better to decide how men react to a woman's offense depending on the situation, since there is no single piece of advice, and the reaction itself depends on the man's temperament and state at the time of the offense.
They can react to resentment with resentment in return. Also, misunderstandings and anger are frequent, since the woman's claims seem unfounded and stupid, all behavior is perceived as attempts or explained by female stupidity. Others, who sincerely value their halves, try to understand the reasons, analyze the situation. Here long conversations and clarification of the true reasons are possible. Most often, such men try to provide all possible support, showing participation and care. If a woman, with this approach, makes contact and openly discusses her needs and emerging feelings, then the relationship in the couple is improving, and there is a space for dialogue. 
Leaves an imprint on the reaction of a man also his upbringing. If it was not customary in the family to discuss relationships, and the father ignored the emotional sphere of the mother, then an avoidance reaction may be characteristic. But this can be caused not only by the peculiarities of the parental family. When a woman is too often offended and does not explain the reasons, a man may get tired of learning the origins and facts of offense, it is easier for him to wait out the storm separately, leaving for the weekend or staying late at work.
In couples that have been together for a long time, at a certain stage, a global understanding occurs. Then even a tacit resentment does not require an explanation, a man can himself understand where he was wrong or that this outbreak is not addressed so much to him as caused by female fatigue. Usually, when people get so used to each other, it resembles an idyll, but it is worth remembering that before such a stage came, people went through many stages of revelation and analysis of joint reactions.
All children, men and women are touchy, but the cruellest is female offense... If the husband has offended his wife, how do you think it will affect him. The wife will deprive him of almost everything, not stopping at nothing and not fearing the consequences that may arise if the husband responds in kind. And imagine the situation, the husband cheated on his wife, how this story will end only God knows, because an offended woman is able to do anything in order to punish a man for a woman's offense.
A woman can come up with many ways to punish a woman's offense: obstacles to work, spreading false gossip, persuading another person to harm the offender, and so on. But for her, the best option would be to turn to a sorcerer. He will listen to you carefully and offer his options for a way out of this situation. Either it will be damage to the man, or a charmed thing that will need to be thrown to the offender in order to achieve a negative result. Perhaps the punishment will follow in the form of a death sentence, the so-called damage to death, if in the story told there are prerequisites for this type of punishment for a woman's offense against a traitor. In principle, you yourself can choose the future fate of the person who offended you. It all depends only on your desire.
Female grudge against a man and magic are incompatible
But only in one case, when a woman tries to administer justice herself, using her negative energy and witchcraft. Inexperience and ignorance of the correctness of the rituals can lead to the fact that your close relatives innocent souls will suffer. And in the future, you will curse yourself for the actions you have taken because of a woman's resentment against a man. But it will be too late, there will be no turning back. Therefore, in order to avoid such consequences, contact a sorcerer. If you have already created the irreparable, he will be able to transfer the blow of your inept witchcraft and remove the negative consequences from your loved ones. And also to guide you on the right path and tell you what is still necessary to achieve your goals.
The simplest and most effective way to get rid of a woman's resentment against men, if not completely free yourself from it, then at least slightly weaken it, is to express what you feel. And at least admit to yourself: “Yes, I am offended” and it is worth making an attempt to figure out: what hurt you so much? At the very least, you need to express your female grudge against a traitorous man. Perhaps he will understand that he did the wrong thing and apologize to you. The conflict will be settled on this, unless of course you mind.
What does resentment mean to you? The most common answers:
- Inflicted mental pain, which is very difficult to forget.
- Disappointment from unfulfilled expectations.
- Unwillingness to communicate with a person
Actually, resentment- this is the feeling that a person has when he believes that he is being treated not fair... It occurs when the other person does not behave the way we expect them to. In women in relation to a man, this is associated with the expectation of love, care, support.
Some people quickly forget the resentment; for others, it can last for years. It depends on the person. The more awareness of why the resentment arises, the faster it goes away.
The origins of our grievances
In fact, resentment is a consequence, and the reason lies much deeper - in your subconscious, which was formed in childhood (from birth to 6 years). Each person has their own negative programs, and the grievances are always different. One painfully perceives when they speak behind his back, while for the other he simply does not pay attention to it. Someone perceives rudeness in public transport as a personal insult, while another will simply laugh at this situation. It all depends on what negative programs you have formed from childhood, to what they react.
The same thing happens in the relationship between men and women. Some women are satisfied that their beloved does not speak, others perceive this as ignorance in their address. Men sometimes need to be silent, reflect on their own. And if a woman does not understand the psychology of a man + she has a negative subconscious program in this regard, then this situation ends scandal(albeit not immediately, but over time, the woman will throw everything out).
This is how our subconscious works. He has no good or bad. There is only life experience, on the basis of which these programs are formed. And the behavior, thinking, actions of a person depend on what subconscious programs he has formed.
There are tricks in psychology for changing these programs. When you realize that fears and resentments are destroying your relationships and health, you can purposefully change negative subconscious programs to positive ones. But for this you need to work on yourself, by itself nothing will change.
- Realize the resentment.
- Accept that you have certain fears, resentments. Tell yourself "Yes, I have it."
- Let go of the resentment.
Resentment interferes with life, it destroys a person from the inside. It often happens that, because of resentment, a woman cannot build a relationship. She meets with one man, suddenly their relationship collapses, the same scenario occurs in a relationship with a second and a third man. If a woman realizes the cause of the resentment (in negative subconscious programs), she can change everything.
Resentment and manipulation
Women, especially at the beginning of a relationship, love to manipulate a man through resentment. "I am offended at you, I will not do it ...", "I am offended at you because you promised and did not do it."
Those. the gist of this method: if you do not behave the way I want, I will be offended by you... At first it may work, but sooner or later the man will get tired of all this and he will leave.
Men appreciate light women who easily let go of grievances, are not boring (there are women who will remember their grievances in a year, and in 10 years: “Do you remember, I took offense at you 3 years ago for this and that ? ")
Living with resentment means ruining your relationship.
Behind every hurt lies a fear that needs to be transformed into love.
Try to reflect on who you are offended, and how long this offense lasts.
Mental pain, suffering from resentment, shame, anger, jealousy, fear, stress, unwillingness to live - all these negative emotions give offense. But all of these suffering is the fruit of your own negative thinking.
How to overcome resentment?
There is only one way to get away from resentment - you need it realize(they didn't hurt me, but I myself feel hurt). Those. you need to take responsibility for your feelings.
Practice: try to find the source of your grievances
Remember how your resentment arose: why were you offended, what emotions did you experience, what sensations were in your body? Look at yourself from the outside.
Now remember how you took offense at someone a month ago. Why are you offended?
Now remember who and for what you were offended last year? What did people do, why did you take offense at them.
Rewind back again. You are 10 years old. What grudges at this age give you pain and suffering? Who are these grievances against: parents, friends, etc.
Rewind back in memory. You are 6 years old. Who insults you, why do you take offense at people. Do not forget to look at this picture in memory from the outside, as an outside observer.
Now remember the first time you felt hurt. You will be able to remember because it was a powerful emotion for you. Who caused this feeling? Remember everything to the smallest detail (who the grudge is, the season, the setting, the clothes, what was around, what emotions you felt then).
Now mentally go back to the present... How do you feel now that you remember your first offense? People from memories are the sources of your grievances. It was during childhood that a negative subconscious program was formed. And over the years it only got stronger.
Forgive and let go Is your life lesson. If you do not let go of the offense, thereby you yourself cause suffering.
At one recollection of a situation that happened to a man who now lies with a heavy burden-resentment on his soul, it becomes bad. And the more you try to forget, the more emotions overwhelm you. The feeling of resentment against a man does not allow to live normally. He has long been a former, the relationship ended long ago ... And the resentment against the man - stayed with you.
Why are thoughts of the past gnawing so bitterly, holding them tightly with their tentacles? It is they who are suffocating. A lump in the throat, periodically arising, so treacherously takes air, and with it, strength.
To date, the question of the nature of grievances in any of their manifestations is precisely answered by the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan.
Why there is a resentment against a man - and so it is clear. But how to get rid of - you can figure it out in this article. We will not describe the stages of the formation of resentment, it will give nothing. It arises both suddenly and accumulates inside us.
Psychology of resentment against a man
Resentment - it is resentment. More precisely, a feeling of resentment and injustice towards you. Anything can happen: betrayed, left one pregnant woman, stole a large amount of money, beat, verbally humiliated. If there is a resentment, there is already a reason to figure it out.
The notorious “forgive and let go” flows like a river from the lips of psychologists, from articles about offense, from girlfriends, mothers, friends. They suggest “learning to forgive”. If it were so easy to forgive and let go, no one would have any problems with resentment. Nobody would be offended by anyone. Everyone would heal happily. Alas.
Sometimes they are frightened by the inevitable psychosomatics, ineffective treatment with pills. Of course, there is a connection with health, I still want to prevent further problems and understand how to cope.
There are advice to ridicule a man, to present your ex-man in an indecent form. "Apply" a sense of humor to him. Every offended person, most likely, tried to do this. The positive results are questionable.
How to get rid of feelings of resentment against a man
The answer is simple and easy to understand. See for yourself.
There are eight vectors, eight mental properties of a person. Each has its own characteristics. First, understanding and recognizing these characteristic properties in people, we treat the "offenders" themselves differently. Because we begin to understand that a person, be it a man or a woman, in a given situation behaved in accordance with his inherent nature, properties. I could not do otherwise. The irritation disappears. Sensitivity ceases to affect our life, much decreases in manifestations.
Secondly, if we have an anal vector, then we have a strong memory and are in a special way focused on the past. We do not like lies and injustice, they are by nature honest.
Feelings of resentment and guilt are unique to us. Any distortions in the field of "truth-deception" are a knife in our hearts. And until justice comes, we will walk with resentment and wish evil to the offender. Revenge is the simplest form of leveling the situation; it is born unconsciously in response to a dishonest act.
And that is not all.
There is a visual vector. The sensitive area is the eyes. They are able to distinguish many shades of color, see and feel more subtly, sensitively and comprehensively. "They will make an elephant out of any fly" - this is what they say about people with a visual vector. The offense is small, but it is seen as the tragedy of a lifetime. Otherwise they cannot see.
What to do? How to deal with a monster that interferes with life.
It is not difficult to imagine what a person looks like with anal and visual vectors. Grievances multiplied a hundredfold by the ability to see problems on a larger scale than they really are.
Moreover, you once had a close trusting relationship with a man, even had love. The emotional attachment that remains in your memory, mixed with resentment, does not let you go.
In forced interactions with your ex, it is important to avoid attempts to manipulate feelings of guilt and resentment on your part. And do not let a man do this in relation to you. Will not lead to anything good.
Experiencing only constant annoyance and, possibly, anger at all men, we unconsciously fear the repetition of history and find all sorts of tricks to avoid the emergence of new relationships. Not on purpose. Simply - fearing a repetition of pain. And so resentment presses, and then there is also the fear of a repetition of suffering, regret.
Resentment against a man will not allow you to calmly create new harmonious relationships. You may not even notice how constant grudges against the man you broke up with will spread to relationships with the opposite sex in general.
How to overcome resentment? The psychology is as follows: to begin to correctly use the properties given by nature in life. Correctly - it means, according to the purpose. This will give relief from the negative state, because there will be no need to keep the past in mind.
We often hear that you need to start with yourself. Everything is correct. Few people give only specific and effective recommendations. There is only one step left to know yourself. Get acquainted with the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan. She will give understanding of herself and others to the fullest.
Many women have tried life without offense for themselves and now they feel great. They understood their former men, and the resentment disappeared. Here's what they say:
“... At the time of the first free lecture, I“ nursed ”with a heavy grudge against the man, from time to time she simply overwhelmed me, and the condition was terrible, but after the very first lecture, the offense went away, the“ incomprehensible ”actions and words of the person who moved him became clear, and even after Yuri’s story, on the very first day I realized that my insult, as they say, “is not worth a damn” in the eyes of that man, because of whom I was ... so upset, worried so much ... What? So funny! In general, I laughed at myself for a long time, almost the entire first lecture - until the morning!
The second was next. Which cemented my achievement. It's such a relief! .. "
“… I was brought to the training in Systemic Vector Psychology by unhappy love and a terrible emotional dependence on one person. As well as depression and a sense of hopelessness, resentment towards parents and their unhappy lot ....
... I got rid of my love addiction, I realized that that man was not urethral, as I first identified him in the articles, but skin-visual-sound. And that love is fear brought out, and it ends when there is no visual connection with the object of love. And indeed, everything has passed. Moreover, I stopped suffering from the fear that I had missed my real destiny, my chance in life. In fact, there are a lot of such chances around the planet, it is enough to choose a suitable one)))) ... "