The problem of "fathers" and "children" in modern society

Send your good work in the knowledge base is simple. Use the form below

Students, graduate students, young scientists who use the knowledge base in their studies and work will be very grateful to you.

Posted on http://www.allbest.ru/

ECSEONTOPIC:

In the discipline "Fundamentals of Psychology and Pedagogy"

"The relationship between fathers and children in modern society"

The relationship that develops between parents and children is a decisive moment in socialization. They reveal themselves at the most crucial moment - when a person is most susceptible to good and evil, trusting and open to everything new. This relationship is lifelong and therefore has the most lasting impact. The parent-child relationship is the closest and most intimate relationship that exists in society.

Family problems are the main ones in the modern period. A person is formed as a person in a family, determines his world outlook and attitude, thanks to family values. The relationship between parents and children determines the formation of personality, moral values, the choice of the future path, relationships in the future family of the child. The relationship between parents and children is the foundation of every family.

No one doubts that the family has the greatest influence on a person. It is the parents who first of all shape the personality of their child. In his eyes, parents speak:

* as a role model, the embodiment of wisdom and the best human qualities;

* as a senior friend and advisor who can be trusted with everything.

The ratio of these functions, their psychological significance change with age.

The influence of parents during the period of growing up can be considered the main one. Parents determine the nature of the assimilation of social, religious and political values ​​by children, help them understand what is happening, teach kindness and compassion.

The following factors are of particular importance for the formation of the moral views of children in the family:

1. Parental warmth, mutual respect in the family, trust in the child.

2. Family discipline, type of punishment applied.

3. The role assigned to the child in the family hierarchy.

4. The degree of independence provided to the child.

The moral development of a child is possible only in a family atmosphere where mutual respect and trust reign. Children who are emotionally dependent on their parents and have strong affection for them grow up more conscientious than those who did not know such a relationship.

Heartfelt, emotional relationships contribute to the fact that children respect their parents, admire them and strive to become like them, which ultimately forms positive moral qualities in young people.

Most teenagers would like to see parents as friends and counselors. For all their craving for independence, they are in dire need of life experience and the help of their elders. The family remains the place where the teenager, the young man feels most calm and confident.

Each parent chooses for himself what type of relationship he will be guided by when raising a child. There are different types: authoritarian, liberal, democratic, indifferent.

When raising children, I would choose a democratic type of upbringing, with the help of this type it is much easier to find a common language with children.

Often there is a misunderstanding between children and parents, which arises for many reasons. Let's take a closer look at the causes of tension in a relationship. The first reason is different views of the world and of ourselves.

The second reason is the incompetence of parents in matters of mass culture in which adolescents live and in the use of modern technology. At one time, my parents also loved rock music, but today their tastes have changed. They already condemn what they don't understand or like.

The third reason is the difference in values. Parents in their mature years become not just realists, but to some extent even cynics, they lose their youthful illusions. Parents already know that the world cannot be remade, and they have fully mastered the art of accepting things as they are. Children are always maximalists, so they are intolerant of adults who persuade them to accept "the status quo." According to one common opinion, all adolescents are in confrontation with their parents and their values. But this is not the case. No one argues: indeed, adolescence is the time when children begin to strive for independence. During this period, parents cease to be the main object of love for their children. But neither one nor the other is aware of the changes taking place. They are only upset about them.

Despite the disagreements between parents and their children, it can be said that adolescents are still largely guided by parents and share their values, and alienation from parents is nothing more than a delusion. Children and parents try to find profitable options for both sides, because only in this way can tensions in the family be avoided.

In general, problems in family relationships are almost impossible to avoid. It is only possible to regulate their frequency, depth, consequences. With a general atmosphere of harmony in the family, quarrels also have positive aspects, since they provide an opportunity to study ways of reconciliation in practice. Family members must learn to "share", respect each other's feelings and desires, and resolve differences. You can understand another person only on condition of respect for him, accepting him as a kind of autonomous reality. Haste, inability and unwillingness to listen, understand what is happening in a complex youthful world, try to look at the problem through the eyes of a son or daughter, smug confidence in the infallibility of one's life experience - this is what first of all creates a psychological barrier between parents and growing children.

From personal experience, we can say that love makes children happy, it meets a basic physiological and psychological need that remains unchanged throughout the child's growing up. Children who are treated without love do not develop properly, even if they are otherwise well-bred. Parental love should look for dignity in your child, there is no need to look for flaws, they, as a rule, are always on the surface. At the same time, parents should remember that shortcomings can be corrected only when this is done without sarcasm and irony, mockery and accusations. They are corrected in the presence of love.

An important role in relationships is played by the authority of parents, which largely depends on how much they themselves know how to forgive and ask for forgiveness. As a result, only a good example of a father and mother can give good shoots.

The world is changing, children of the 21st century have different informational capabilities, they can do a lot of things that their parents cannot. I believe that parents should learn to understand children, only then children will reciprocate their understanding, respect, trust, acceptance of choice and, most importantly, love. It is very important that education be proactive, anticipating difficult situations that may arise in families - and not ascertaining. Then we can talk about positive results in the system of relationships between parents and children.

The family is the basis in which a person's personality, values, worldview and attitude are formed. It is the family that determines the moral and legal norms of the relationship between parents and children. Parents are increasingly thinking about their relationship with their children, trying to devote as much time and attention to them as possible, which provides a solid foundation for these relationships.

Posted on Allbest.ru

...

Similar documents

The role of gender stereotypes in family relationships. Relationships in the family: styles of behavior of mother and father, relationships between parents and children, differences in attitudes towards sons and daughters. Study of gender stereotypes of behavioral norms in the family.

abstract, added 02/12/2013


The family as a socio-cultural environment for the upbringing and development of the individual. The relationship between parents and children as a psychological and pedagogical problem. Study of the nature of relationships in the family as a factor contributing to the emotional well-being of its members.

term paper, added 01/31/2009


Study of the prerequisites for the formation of personality character. The concept of the sibling position in the family. Analysis of the relationship between children in the family, depending on age and gender. Recommendations for raising children in families with two or more children.

term paper added 09/10/2016


The role of age and gender in the relationship between children in the family. Types of parent-child relationships. Socio-pedagogical problems of upbringing adolescents in the family. Forms of interaction between teachers and parents in the formation of relationships between children.

term paper added 09/16/2017


Conditions necessary for the formation of adequate behavior among young people and for the favorable resolution of conflicts. The concept and causes of aggression. Study of the styles of relationships in the family of parents and children. Methods for reducing aggressiveness in adolescents.

article added on 12/07/2014


Characteristics of an incomplete family, the influence of its problematic field on the personality of the child. The main causes of conflict situations between parents and children in an incomplete family, especially their manifestation. The main directions of social work with incomplete families.

thesis, added 07/26/2015


Types of parent-child relationships. Features of raising an only child in a family. Hyper-care is a form of parental attitude towards the only child in the family. Correctional and pedagogical work with overprotected children of primary school age.

term paper added 02/20/2013


Analysis of psychological literature on self-esteem of children, its concept and structure. Self-esteem of the only children in the family. Organization of an empirical study of the peculiarities of the formation of self-esteem in adolescents with only children in the family and with siblings.

term paper added 01/07/2012


Features of the upbringing and development of several children in the family. Characteristics of age and gender gradation. Methods and techniques for studying the relationship between older and younger children in the family. The phenomenon of childhood jealousy as a means of fighting for the attention of parents.

term paper, added 04/30/2009


The influence of the father on the mental development of the child, especially his role in the family and the upbringing of children. The importance of the father's behavior in the first years of a child's life for the development of his self-esteem. The consequences of the unexpressed role of the father in the family, his role in the socialization of children.

Nature gives each of us at birth a certain set of mental and physical qualities, as well as instincts. They help to survive in this difficult world. Everything else directly depends on the upbringing that we received at an early age. Children with their own character traits simply cannot constantly agree with their parents. This is due to the fact that each person is a person and has his own, definite point of view.

The problem of fathers and children arises before loved ones belonging to different generations. Each of them has its own historical period. In this regard, views on life and the system of its values ​​change from generation to generation, which any of us is ready to resolutely defend.

In former times, people revered the principles of elders as the basis of being. However, quite often, children, absorbing the family experience, want to get out of the influence of adults. At the same time, they deny all the dogmas of the older generation. It seems to children that they will be able to build their life much better, brighter and more interesting. They want to resolve all issues on their own as soon as possible.

The problem of fathers and children arises in almost all formations of human society:

In family;

In the work collective;

In general, in a social formation.

From the very birth of a child, parents teach. When he goes to kindergarten - educators. A schoolboy is a teacher. At a certain time in this chain, a moment arises when all sorts of teachings begin to cause rejection. This usually occurs when the child begins to develop personal qualities, awareness of the right of his own choice, as well as responsibility for it.

The problem of fathers and children in our time is quite complex. In some cases, the task of establishing balance in the views of generations simply cannot be solved. Some of us enter into open confrontation with representatives of another generation, others, for the possibility of peaceful coexistence, go aside, allowing themselves and others to find freedom in the implementation of ideas and plans.

The problem of fathers and children is very relevant these days. She is very acute in front of people belonging to different generations. However, it must be remembered that only mutual tolerance and respect for each other will prevent serious confrontation. The most important thing is love and understanding.

Parenting advice is inherently coercive or dictate. As a person develops, less and less often there is a desire to obey. Parents need to realize this in time and turn the arrow of relations with children to neutral ways of presenting their information. Otherwise, conflicts are inevitable.

The most difficult thing for parents is that they must accept their child as he is, put up with all his shortcomings, as well as character traits. In addition, the older generation should forgive the grievances and wrong actions of their children. It is also difficult to come to terms with the fact that a child will grow up and leave for his adult life, which has its own worries and affairs.

The problem of fathers and children in literature has been raised quite often. This issue has been touched upon to one degree or another by many writers. The most striking echo of the theme that is relevant at all times is the novel by I.S. Turgenev "Fathers and Sons". In addition to this work, the very name of which indicates its main theme, the relationship between generations was highlighted in many masterpieces of literature. It is difficult to say who first raised this issue. The problem is so vital at all times that its description has always existed in the pages of literary works. I did not ignore the complex problem of A.S. Griboyedov in his comedy Woe from Wit. L.N. Tolstoy in the novel War and Peace.

Based on the novel by I.S. Turgenev "Fathers and Sons"

Everyone knows that God expelled Adam and Eve from paradise because they disobeyed him ... This passage from the Bible is the best evidence that the problem of "fathers and children" was and will always be relevant. Of course, children cannot obey and indulge their parents in everything, because this is inherent in us. Each of us is an individual and each has his own point of view. This is, for example, mine.

We cannot copy anyone, including parents. The most we can do to become more like them is to choose the same path in life as ours. Some, for example, serve in the army, because their ancestors were the military, and some treat people, just like their father and like Yevgeny Bazarov.

It is impossible to repeat Bazarov, and at the same time he has something from each of us. This is a person of not great mind, who has his own point of view, and who knows how to defend it.

In the novel "Fathers and Sons" we see a rare picture for the literature of the 17th century - the confrontation of opinions of different generations. "Old people" are more conservative, while young people are followers of progress. Hence, there is a sticking point.

In the novel, the fathers defend aristocracy, respect for authorities, the Russian people and love. But speaking of a lot, they often forget about the little things.

Children, on the other hand, defend their interests and point of view, and they do it well. But their worldview does not have what should be in every person - compassion and romanticism. It's not that they have deprived themselves of passionate feelings inside, long expectations of their beloved for a date, and painful separation from her. All this came to them, but to someone early, for example, to Arkady, and to someone late, to Bazarov. Arkady, perhaps, will taste the joys of life with Katya, but Bazarov was not destined to wake up from the coma in which he lived all this time before he fell ill.

In addition to disagreements between generations, there is also that wonderful feeling, without which the world is a grave and this feeling is love. In the novel, the "children" love their parents very much, but each expresses it in his own way: some throw themselves on their necks, others calmly stretch out their hand for a handshake.

There is "Father and Children" in the world, the relationship between which can be described as the warmest. The Father is God, and the Sons are people, disagreements are impossible in this family: the children are grateful to him for giving them life and earthly joys, while the Father, in turn, loves his children and does not demand anything in return. In principle, the problem of "Fathers and Sons" is solvable, but not completely. The most important thing is to respect each other, because love and understanding are based on respect, that is, what we so lack in life.

Parental advice, in essence, is a dictate, coercion. As a person grows up, he is less and less willing to obey. If the parents do not realize this in time and do not switch to another, neutral, way of presenting information, conflicts cannot be avoided.

From childhood, parents get used to giving their child a piece of information, not paying attention to the child's words. Parents take offense at children for callousness, and children at parents for not respecting their opinions. Constantly giving advice and lecturing to children, parents forget that the child may have his own opinion. All this will come to them, but later, when they learn to feel it, they will go through many trials. Although their parents could teach them this, they are preoccupied with work problems, many have to sit up all day at work, therefore, they simply do not have time for children.

Instead of judging their child, parents should try to understand him why he did this and not otherwise. This is much more useful and fun than criticism. This fosters in a person compassion and tolerance for loved ones. “To understand everything means to forgive everything” I don't remember where I heard that.

The most difficult thing in parenting is to accept your child as he is, with all the shortcomings and peculiarities, to learn to forgive insults, wrong steps, mistakes, to come to terms with the idea that your child will someday go into adulthood, he will have his own worries and your own life ...

Many people belonging to the generation of “fathers” to the question: “What is your attitude to today's youth?” - answer that children are our future, a new destiny for the whole society. Adults try to understand them, but it doesn't always work out ...

I think this problem is very urgent for all generations. In each generation, it appears at some point, and then disappears in order to reappear. It seems to me that in our time, and especially in our country, it is most pronounced. Probably, each of us has seen on TV more than once, and we have personally come across the fact that people who have spent most of their lives in communist reality cannot understand what suddenly appeared around them. We have all heard the phrase: "But under communism it was ...". And this is not because they are adherents of this ideology, they just got used to living like that. And it is almost impossible to convince these people to take a democratic point of view.

Probably, those who organized perestroika are largely to blame. In fact, this is a very long process, at least one generation must change in order to come to a normal democratic society. I think that this problem cannot be solved by any reforms or coups d'etat. There are things that everyone decides for himself in his own soul, builds a relationship with his loved ones, based on respect, love, acceptance of the freedom of another person ...

The problem of fathers and children has always worried a person. But today it is one of the most important topics. Why do teenagers have disagreements with their parents? Of course, adolescents have their own challenges and challenges, but they can also bring joy and rewards. Adolescence is a tumultuous time. Teens go through emotional ups and downs. Boys and girls want to be more independent, they may not like the restrictions placed on them by their parents. However, such adolescents are not yet experienced and need the loving, patient help of their parents. Yes, adolescence can be an exciting time, but it can also be a time of confusion not only for parents, but also for teens. The problem of fathers and children has long worried philosophers, and just thinking people. She occupied, if not central, then one of the main places in their thoughts. Perhaps the fire of this idea died out during the Middle Ages, when the thoughts of scientists were busy looking for the philosopher's stone, and their eyes were burning with the flame of profit. But during the rapid changes in any sphere of human life, this problem arises with a vengeance: fathers are conservatives, who are alien to any changes, and children are engines of progress, seeking to overthrow foundations and traditions, to realize their ideas. In a somewhat more moderate form, this phenomenon was reflected in the novel by Ivan Sergeevich Turgenev, Fathers and Sons, where Evgeny Bazarov, by his behavior and statements, shows that the time in which his father lived is irreversibly receding into the past, and time comes to replace it with other principles and ideals. Fathers and children see the world from different perspectives. Children, according to the fathers, lead humanity to disaster (cultural, environmental, etc.). But catastrophes, like utopias, were predicted by many, but so far there has not been a catastrophe that threatens the existence of mankind. This is because the more dangers caused by progress, the more means of confronting these dangers, created by the same progress. Fathers, according to children, the Torah on the path of progress. But there is no mountain that cannot be overcome. Over time, children become fathers. In this respect, there is a cyclical nature. The entire history of mankind consists of such cycles. There is a sense in the confrontation between fathers and children: fathers restrain the progress caused by children so that the transition from the old to the new goes more smoothly. There is no problem, but the phenomenon of fathers and children.

The class hour “The problem of fathers and children in the modern world” was held in the form of a philosophical table. Students of the 201-202 groups, parents, clergymen, a teacher-psychologist took part in the discussion of the problem. During the discussion, one thing became clear: both parents and teenagers are ready to communicate. In preparation for the class hour, a sociological survey of students and parents was carried out.

A highlight was the use of a fragment from the film “Conversations about the Family”, scenes, music, and a lit candle.

• help students learn to avoid conflict situations in communicating with parents and classmates;
• rallying study groups;
• the formation of communicative competencies;
• contribute to the formation of a respectful attitude among students towards family, parents and classmates.

Event format: philosophical table

Funds:

• projector;
• notebook;
• thematic exhibition "The beginning of everything is the father's house";
• board;
• screen;
• candle;
• multimedia presentation;
• musical accompaniment;
• handouts (memo for children, memo for parents).

Preliminary preparation:

• sociological survey “Relationship in the family between parents and children”;
• preparation and design of the presentation “A Word about the Family”;
• exhibition decoration;
• drawing up a memo for children and parents.

Materials for the classroom hour were prepared by the class teachers: T.M. Strelnikova, O. G. Petrunin.

Class hour

Introductory remarks from class teachers:

- Good afternoon, dear friends, we are glad to see you at our event, it is unusual. We will hold it in the form of a philosophical table and light a candle as a symbol of living thought ( light a candle).

1 Leading. Good afternoon dear friends. Today we devote our class hour to the problem of all times and peoples ... ..

2 Leading. The problem of fathers and children. This problem is one of the oldest on earth. After all, Socrates, who lived in (5th century BC), spoke about this (a quote is read).

“Today's youth are used to luxury. She is distinguished by bad manners, despises authorities, does not respect elders. Children argue with their parents, greedily gulp down food and harass the teacher ”(Socrates).

1 Leading. The problem of fathers and children was raised in his work by Turgenev. (Staging an excerpt from the novel by I. S. "Fathers and Sons")

2 Leading. As you can see, the problem of fathers and children existed in the days of Socrates and Turgenev, it is still acute today.

2 Moderator. And we gathered to try to find an answer to the questions: will the conflict between fathers and children be resolved? Why do conflicts arise? Who is to blame for the fact that we often fall into the traps of family communication.

1 Leading. In the hall there are: parents, students, teacher - psychologist, clergy.

(Attention to the presentation screen). Annex 1

2 Leading. So, the conflict between parents and children. Do you have them in your families, what becomes the reason and how to get out of the state of conflict with the least loss.

1 Leading. Question for students and parents

1. What is conflict?
2. What are the reasons for it? (write on the board).

1. There is no consent, equality
2. Mismatch of interests.
3. Misunderstanding.
4. Distrust, ridicule.
5. Excessive custody.
6. Not the ability to hear each other.
7. Indifference.
8. Disrespect for the individual.
9. Lies and insincerity.
10. Bad habits.
11. Leisure.
12. Behavior.

2 Leading. But is conflict always inevitable? Can you avoid it? Let's see how it happens in life.

Situation 1.

The daughter returns home at two in the morning. Parents are outraged to the limit.

Situation 2.

The son requires his parents to buy a fashionable and expensive thing. Parents explain to him that there is no way to do this now.

Leading. The floor is given to the teacher-psychologist Tatyana Mikhailovna Budarkova. She will provide an analysis of the situation from the point of view of the psychology of the relationship.

Host 1. A word to Father Benjamin.

Leading 2. What line of behavior to choose? Probably adhere to some rules.

- Let's name them. And at the end of our conversation, we will compose a set of rules "Fathers and Sons".

Attention to the “Fathers and Children Code of Practice” screen. Appendix 2.

1 Leading.

When you celebrate your birthday
And all the relatives will gather
You will proudly present her:
“That's all - my family!”
And if suddenly on a holiday even
Friends will come by chance
You will definitely say about them too:
“That's all - my family!”
Putting on the ring to the bride,
Intimate feelings without melting,
You call her with love:
“That's all - my family!”
And now there are a flock of kids
How bells are ringing
You don't hide your pride for them:
“That's all - my family!”
And in life you have done a lot,
To make your land bloom,
Now you can safely say:
"My country is my family!"
We all have one concern
For my country to live.
My family is a family of nations
My country is my family!

2 Leading. Leo Tolstoy said: "Happy is he who is happy at home."

One of the commandments of Christ says: "Honor your father and mother, may it be good to you." The epistle of the apostle Paul says honor rather than love. Do you feel the difference? It is about debt in front of the parents. You can love unconsciously. Debt requires reflection and mental work.

- Good children - the crown of the house, bad children - the end of the house.

- See how much depends on you guys?

- Today, when he comes home, do not forget to hug your relatives and say that you love them very much!

1 Leading. Today we saw what can be done for parents and children so that they can better understand each other.

2 Leading. Thank you, dear guests, that you responded and came to us for a class hour.

1 Leading. Thank you, dear parents, for putting aside all your household chores and work and come here with your children.

The problem of fathers and children: features of the XXI century.
Nowadays, the problem of parents and children is especially urgent. And the main problem is the relationship between children and fathers.
If we compare the 90s and the present, then we can conclude that children and fathers do not quite understand each other, and sometimes a complete loss of connection.
With what it can be connected? My subjective opinion is as follows:
firstly, children began to devote a lot of time to gadgets, computer games, various know-hows, which make children, most often, puppets of an illusory world. And fathers, who, at least, should be the head of the family, do not look at and do not devote time to their children, do not teach something new, do not tell their life stories in order to make some impression on them of the past, do not read literature from their children, which leads to the degradation of children and understanding of the realities of life;
secondly, parents, especially fathers, began to devote a lot of time to work. Of course, on the one hand, it is good that the family lives in prosperity and does not need anything, but a long time of such a pastime will affect the children, tk. they will not have enough paternal attention, care and love, which is extremely important! Children perceive this as alienation, one mother will not pull the father on the "pedestal"; affection should come not only from one parent, but from the whole family as a whole. Plunging into work, fathers do not raise their children; they see them only in the evening, if not at night - before going to bed. And this is a complete loss of connection between children and their fathers;
thirdly, proceeding from the second point, why the fathers “plow, rooted to the spot” ... The state imposes various taxes on us, citizens. Yes, that's natural. But not all citizens of the Russian Federation are the upper and not even the middle class, because, in fact, in our country there is only the upper and lower strata of the population. This leads to the answer from the second point: "parents, especially fathers, began to devote a lot of time to work." The father is the head of the family, but what is the use of him when he is absent in raising a child for most of his life - a life when children need father's advice, attention and discipline.
From the third point, if you think deeply, you can draw the most important conclusion. What do you think: are crimes and offenses committed by the lower or upper strata of the population most often? I think the majority will answer that they are inferior, because this is indeed the case. When there was no discipline in the family, a certain rigidity and justice in raising a child, he became uncontrollable and lawless. After all, he was not taught: "what is good and what is bad." And on this basis, children commit crimes in order to somehow diversify their wretched life: to feel “richer” and cooler than others. They commit crimes not because their direct goal is to commit an illegal act, but because they compare their lives with their peers and other people on a subconscious level who were or are richer than them. After all, not everyone likes to be "fun" for the rest.
I also agree that some families do not have fathers. This is also an urgent problem in our life. Mothers cannot give their children the kind of upbringing that a father can give. And the children, looking at their peers, understand that their mother will not teach them what their father will teach them. Children become attached to friends and their fathers with the goal that they will be taught something - taught by the head of the family, which the child does not have. This is not always not the right decision, but the right one. After all, you never know what someone else's father can teach.
Based on the above, we can conclude. This problem is really relevant these days. The problem of the relationship between children and fathers is a part of social life. You need to learn to find common points of contact, to devote more time so that the attention of fathers affects the upbringing of children. As the English writer and publicist George Herbert said: "One father means more than a hundred teachers."