Whether to forgive the betrayal of his wife is the advice of non-psychologists. What if the wife cheated? A feminine perspective on men's problems

16.05.2019

The society is more loyal to male infidelities than to female ones. “Just think, I went to the left. They are all like that ”- consoles the girlfriends to the cheater's spouse. At the same time, for a man, a spouse's infidelity can be a serious blow. How to forgive and can the marriage be saved after that?

Why did she change

It is believed that polygamy is inherent in the strong half of humanity, and nothing can be done about it. But in fact, statistics suggest otherwise! Durex funded a study that found that of all women surveyed, as many as 40% cheated on their husbands. At the same time, from the men's focus group, only 30% of the respondents boasted of being on the sidelines.

The girls who confessed to adultery named the following reasons for their act:

Psychologists say that in the third, seventh and twentieth years of life, all married couples overcome a crisis associated with a reassessment of values and life achievements. At this stage of the relationship of the spouses, quarrels, scandals, and disagreements await. It was during this period that most often women decide to cheat.

“Really, statistics can justify the betrayal of a person whom you trusted? Whom did you let into your home, into your heart? " - the offended spouse may object. In this article, we are not making excuses or blaming anyone. But we will try to help those who have been affected by this problem to survive the betrayal of their wife.

Is it possible to forgive the betrayal of his wife

Men find it more difficult to experience the infidelity of a life partner, because this will humiliate him in the eyes of other people. More often women turn a blind eye to the adventures of their spouse and this is considered normal. For a patient wife in society there is a lot of excuses, such as: "All the men are walking", "For the sake of children, you can forgive", "Anyway, I returned to her, so I couldn't find it better." A woman who has forgiven betrayal will also be praised for showing wisdom and keeping her family together.

A man who has forgiven his spouse on a spree will lose the respect of friends and colleagues. Deer, Cuckold, Rag are just a few examples of nicknames that he will be called behind his back. Jokes, ridicule, accusations of lack of will and other manifestations of misunderstanding on the part of others put pressure on a person who is already in a difficult situation. Who wants to become a walking joke and lose their masculinity in the eyes of others?

Therefore, if you found out about your spouse's infidelity and know from her words that this is true, protect yourself for a while from other people. Take time out. You need to be alone with yourself, because there is a difficult decision on which your future life will depend. You need to get an answer to the following questions:

Immediately after you found out about your wife's infidelity, most likely you experienced devastation and rejection of the very fact of what happened, which was replaced by aggression, hatred and disgust. This is likely to be followed by depression and fear of the future, against the backdrop of resentment and the feeling that you have been betrayed. All these stages must be experienced. For a while, you need to separate from your spouse. And only “on a sober head”, free from emotions, to make a decision on further actions.

Take a vacation from work, pack up your belongings and savings and go ... to your mother? Well, I do not! In such a situation, a man needs to make an informed decision on his own. You need a single tour to another country, rest in a sanatorium, in a beautiful place where you can abstract from everything and regain your balance. Renting an apartment and going on a bachelor party is not the best option. You need time spent without the opinions of other people and the sympathetic looks of acquaintances, alone with yourself. Make a decision only when you feel the ground under your feet again.

What if she went to someone else?

As you can imagine, before that, we considered a situation when a spouse sincerely regrets what she has done, and is ready to do everything so that you forgive her mistake. But in life, unfortunately, it also happens that the woman with whom you planned to meet old age, after the revealed infidelity, simply goes to her lover. What to do when, after the last family scandal, you are left alone?

Worst of all, the memories of how good everything was, of the plans that were built together are still fresh. The surroundings are also reminiscent of an established family life. Nothing foreshadowed trouble. How to survive such a blow of fate? The following tips will help ease your morale in this situation:

No matter how trite it may sound, but time is the best doctor who heals for a long time, but effectively. Psychotherapy sessions can significantly speed up the process. And one more piece of advice that will help to let go of the situation and move on: stop taking your wife's betrayal as a betrayal. Each of us lives our life and only once. She simply made her choice and was entitled to it. You also have the right to forgive her for this act or not. In any case, you should know that everything is just beginning! When one door closes, another always opens. Do not give up, around the next bend you will find another life full of joyful events and surprises!

Olga, Moscow

Family relationships are undergoing many trials. Cheating on a wife is one of the most difficult. Instead of a hasty decision to divorce, followed by depression, self-flagellation and other troubles, you should figure out why this happened and whether it can be fixed. Men are polygamous by nature, and they often insist that it is forgivable for them to go “to the left”, but for women it is not, because sometimes they endure betrayal much more difficult than the fairer sex. First of all, you need to have patience and endurance. This will help you understand whether you need to forgive your wife's betrayal and how to do it.

Forgive your wife for treason and learn to live on

Before asking the question: "To forgive or not cheating on his wife and is it worth doing?" you need to think about why this happened and whether there is any sense in forgiveness at all. Clarification of the relationship can take a long time. Here it is important not only to come to the right decision, but also to want it with all your heart. After all, if a man every time in bed with his wife reflects on how she felt with the other, it will not end well.

Frequent causes of female infidelity are: loneliness, lack of attention, dissatisfaction with sex. Each of the factors directly depends on the husband, therefore, as a rule, both are to blame for what happened. It's another matter if the other half went on the side of curiosity for the sake of or because of the banal cooling to the partner. The latter option carries the most unfavorable prognosis, however, any situation can have a positive outcome, when the betrayal is forgotten, and life is filled with a new key.

Psychologists know how to forgive a wife's cheating and give practical recommendations that are applicable in most cases:

Talk to the liar frankly. The purpose of the conversation is to find out why and why she did it. It is important to understand whether she is repentant or not. You can still work with the first option, the second is doomed. You cannot keep a woman who does not love or, at least, no longer wants to be with her spouse.
Realize what happened, understand your feelings. Imagine a short-term joint future where a lover does not exist. Will the attitude towards your wife change? Will the fact of betrayal make a difference in everyday life or during an argument? If so, then you are not ready to forgive. Even if such a step seems to be the only correct one, its implementation will not be crowned with success.
Taking a break in the relationship, ideally, radically changing the environment is the best way to forget your wife's betrayal. So both will have the opportunity to think things over, to make a final decision. The main thing is not to rush to conclusions, because at first emotions always come to the fore.

One of the most common reasons for female infidelity is the unfaithfulness of a spouse. Such revenge is not the most successful way to make him regret his adventures. It often happens that the husband does not forgive the betrayal, although he himself is to blame no less. Each family is a whole set of nuances, trifles, circumstances that require an individual approach, so sometimes a problem can be rationally solved only through consultation with a psychologist. Don't ask your friends for help. They see only a small fraction, are not aware of all the details, and are unable to give an objective answer to the question: "Is it possible to forgive your wife's betrayal?"

When to forgive treason

Regardless of the circumstances under which the betrayal was committed, the ability to forgive is determined by feelings, because it is impossible to forget the wife you love. Love pushes us to the most reckless, sometimes stupid and frivolous actions. It is very difficult for a sincerely loving man to come to terms with pain, but in an effort to maintain a relationship, he has no other choice. He does not repeat: “I cannot forgive the betrayal of my wife, because ...” For him there are no excuses, he firmly believes and does not doubt that the chosen one is truly repentant. Women in love behave similarly.

Forget about the offense and start a new family life, without remembering the past, is also worth those who have lived in a happy marriage for many years. It doesn't matter what held this union together - love, mutual respect, affection or passion. If the wife has changed only once and by an absurd accident, psychologists advise what to do - to forgive and move on side by side.

Perhaps the cause of adultery was a clouding of mind due to intoxication, or there was an act of a coercive nature. Before blaming the faithful, you should carefully analyze everything. A happy wife is one who proudly can say: "My husband has forgiven me for treason." If a marriage overcomes such difficulties, then these people are really two halves of one whole.

There are times when doubts regarding the question of whether to forgive a wife's betrayal are more than justified:

she deliberately went “to the left”, since she does not value marriage;
she has a constant lover, with whom she has been in contact for a long time;
she shifts her blame onto the shoulders of her companion, reproaching him for failure or inferiority.

Psychologists give wise advice on how to survive the betrayal of his wife - to forgive no matter what. Even if an inevitable divorce is coming, and you understand that you will no longer be able to treat her the way you used to, you need to let go of the offense, otherwise the topic of deception will haunt your whole life, and worst of all, it will create the illusion that all women are the same. Absolutely identical personalities, as well as situations, do not happen, so you cannot judge strangers by the actions of others.

If you don’t know how to cope with your wife’s cheating, seeking the advice of a psychologist is the best solution. A specialist will help you figure it out, find a way out and become happy again. It is impossible to achieve results after the first session. Restoring psycho-emotional balance is a long process that requires a lot of effort.

They say that husband and wife create a unity, a kind of living, changing union called the family.

The relationship of a couple, like the waves of the sea, sometimes approaches the coast, then moves away, but there is always an invisible connection between them. The consequences of this cyclical nature are called family crises. Cheating on a wife is a symptom of an unresolved crisis, a consequence of chronic problems in a living family union.

No matter how painful it is for the husband of the unfaithful wife, he has to find the right answers for himself to a number of vital questions. How to forgive and should you forgive your wife's betrayal? Is it possible to answer her in kind or proudly leave, slamming the door, into a new life? The second is always easier to do, much more difficult to come to terms with your wife's betrayal, accept her repentance and be able to heal not only your own heart, but also a crack in the family hearth.

The reasons for violation of marital fidelity in men and women are different. For the stronger sex, an innocent affair, release of sexual tension rarely develops into true love and has a physical bias. A woman, as a rule, decides to do this much less often, but if this happens, she falls into a whirlpool of her head. An exception is alcohol or drug intoxication.

The monotony of everyday life, misunderstanding, lack of support, the spouse's faith in her potential, opportunities for self-realization plus excessive emotionality, self-doubt, internal conflicts of the lady herself are pushed to actions, the exact motives of which are difficult for her to explain herself. This is not an "eclipse of reason", but an unconscious response to discomfort in family life, a cry about the need for change.

How to proceed

Is it possible to forgive the wife's betrayal due to inattention, mental coldness? Or maybe this is a mirror response to an affair with a young secretary, about whom you managed to forget, and her awareness of this fact is still gnawing at her?

If you still decide to forgive female infidelity, try to understand the reason for the affair on the side. A family is a boat where two sail, and only from common efforts it is not taken down by the strong current of life's trials. It is impossible to foresee betrayal, but prevention can be carried out by creating an open, sincere relationship with a partner, where there is a place for dialogue and there are no taboo or shameful topics.

To help a man forgive his wife's betrayal, the advice of a psychologist is based on the problem of effective behavior in difficult situations. This theory was developed by the famous psychologist Abraham Maslow. It consists in a person's readiness to solve life problems instead of constant self-criticism, immersion in a problem, reveling in his own suffering, which is fraught with depression, loss of strength, and apathy. The main principle is effective action instead of self-pity, otherwise we are not dealing with a specific solution to the problem, but with ourselves, creating a vicious circle.

Whether to forgive the betrayal of his wife, the opinion of the psychologist Polina Gaverdovskaya on this matter sounds cynical, but acts soberingly:

"Nobody has to live up to your expectations."

The strength of our experiences, the mental pain of disappointment only testifies to the fact that we voluntarily gave a huge share of the responsibility for our lives to another person. We did not admit the likelihood of marital infidelity before entering into a sulfur connection, creating a family, and, therefore, did not think over our actions in such a situation.

How to forgive

Is it worth forgiving a wife's betrayal and how to come to terms with infidelity? To begin with, distance yourself from the hotbed of experience. If there is no way to go to the dacha, fishing, to visit or rent a hotel room for a week or two, try to move away a little mentally, take time to think. A person is not able to make the right decision as long as he is under the power of emotions.

Try to perceive what happened as an outside witness, from the outside. When the resentment subsides, you will be ready for a serious conversation with your spouse. It is better if it takes place in neutral territory, which will help to avoid ugly scenes and excessive emotionality of communication.

What are the important aspects to discuss first? The psychologist's answer is simple and consists of three points:

Find out the circumstances, reasons and motives of infidelity. It hurts, but it is necessary to develop a general plan to eliminate problem areas, weak points in family life. Perhaps it is worth developing a charter, a contract, an agreement on the rules of living together, taking into account the positions of both parties.
Find out what the other half thinks about what they have done, evaluate the situation from her side.
Directly ask if a woman is ready to radically change, start life from a new chapter, work hard on herself and marriage.

Consider an important feature - family ties are destroyed painfully, but quickly, and it will take time and common efforts to restore them, working together on relationships. Forgiveness comes slowly, gradually.

A common advice - revenge on an unfaithful spouse in a similar way - is far from a panacea. An affair will not help reduce the pain, but will only aggravate the situation, complicate the reconciliation of the couple.

What does forgiveness mean?

She asks for forgiveness, but how to understand that I have forgiven, and not resigned to the circumstances? The essence of forgiveness for treason lies not in finding possible excuses for the actions of the second half, but in what is expressed in the New Testament by the Greek word afieymi, which means: "to let go or stop holding on to something." In other words, do not give the right to resentment, anger and sadness or anger to determine the attitude towards the offender. By forgiving, you deliberately wish well for your opponent, and acknowledge that you are sincerely ready to help, if necessary, in word and deed.

Any betrayal, especially one committed by a loved one, even for the most suspicious jealous person, is always an unexpected fact. Cheating on his wife pushes the cheated spouse to an emotional crossroads of resentment and pain. In my head, among many thoughts, the main question arises - about the prospects for further relationships. Internal contradictions are aggravated, and the man either begins to blame himself for what happened and is afraid of losing love, then indignantly thinks about how this is possible, and whether it is worth forgiving the one who shamelessly betrayed.

There are no universal recipes and advice on how to forgive a wife's betrayal, and there cannot be. Most often, the prerequisites that served as the impetus for the completed action accumulate and form over a long time. In order to save the family and forget all the bad things and live on, it is simply necessary to understand the reasons. But first of all, the cheated spouse should analyze his feelings.

Leave to return

Sometimes this option, after the revealed betrayal, becomes the only correct decision. Temporary separation will allow not only to get rid of annoying inevitable contacts, but also to carefully assess your true attitude towards your spouse before and after what happened:

1. If the husband feels himself a victim and wants to return his wife by "right of ownership", it is worth realizing the futility and futility of attempts to reunite.
2. If, despite the pain of betrayal, the woman remains beloved, one should not categorically exclude the possibility of restoring the family.

You should gather strength and talk with your wife without undue emotionality in order to find out her opinion about the situation and answer the question of whether it is worth forgiving her. It is possible that her betrayal was a conscious or subconscious provocation, giving rise to an immediate break in relations. And if this decision is final and irrevocable, the spouse should be released. She should feel that the man does not cling to her and “holds the blow” well. Such an act does not contain an irrevocable message: to forget and live on. In the future, circumstances and moods may change, you just need to be patient and wait a while, trying not to lose contact with your ex-wife, but also not to show excessive obsession. It is likely that at the moment a woman is prompted to words and actions by a crushing lump of resentment and dissatisfaction that has accumulated over the years of her marriage.

The regret and remorse of what happened in the conversation "between the lines" slipped through, can tell much more about the state of mind of a traitor than oath promises with wringing of hands. It is possible that she herself is in shock from the perfect offense, which was caused by many accidental circumstances and therefore was not deliberate.

In any case, a man should not force events while the experiences are too acute and all actions are dictated by momentary emotions. You cannot take specific accentuated actions until the internal contradictions between the unquenchable feeling of love and the arisen rejection of the defiled (in the husband's understanding) body of the wife have not calmed down. In order to make the only correct decision, one should comprehend the current situation as objectively and impartially as possible:

You should not dwell on the very fact of treason and look at everything from the position of the victim.
Internal scrolling of previous events will help to understand the current situation and find the reasons that pushed the other half to betrayal.
The comparison of all the positive and negative aspects of life together is organized into an incentive for forgiveness or makes you think about the advisability of returning to your previous relationship.
You need to honestly admit to yourself whether you yourself have always managed to avoid temptation, even if only in thoughts.
Find the positive in the fact that she is back.
Ask yourself: is it possible to leave this incident in the past and never return to it.

Sequential study of all points as a result will highlight the deep motivation of the desire to keep the family or break up.

How to survive a betrayal of your husband

What not to do

If a person is internally not ready to forgive, it is not worth staying in the family with the motivation “for the sake of the children”. Tension between parents will not help create a supportive atmosphere in the home. Children are sensitive to everything on a subtle non-verbal level. Constant worries about the people most dear to them can affect the fragile psyche and lead to unpredictable consequences.

A man who finds himself in such a difficult and painful situation should in no case seek advice from relatives and friends, and even more so follow their advice. Even if they experienced something similar in their time and somehow got out of it. This is their own personal experience, successful or not. Relatives may be guided by the subconscious motives of the family law - “whoever is not with us is against”. A hackneyed demotivator often comes to minds for counselors: if a wife has betrayed and cheated on one time, she will cheat the second time. If such advice does not become a guide, then it certainly will not contribute to an objective examination of the situation. They can provoke a person to voice a hasty decision, inspired by momentary emotions, which will overwhelm him with the fear of being soft and inconsistent in the eyes of loved ones.

Specialist help

The natural desire to speak out painlessly is realized only with someone who is able to listen without judging the absent side. A psychologist is best suited for this. The very principle of removing a person from a critical state by this specialist is not to impose any mandatory actions, but to carefully direct the train of thoughts and feelings towards streamlining p.

The psychologist will not focus directly on the pain point. Sessions are in the nature of confidential conversations, during which the patient must independently decide on a solution to the problem. But there are some general tips for anyone in a similar situation:

1. Do not avoid the situation (depression, binge, headlong into work), letting everything go by chance.
2. Do not make a decision at the peak of negative emotions.
3. In conversations with his wife, try to understand the reasons for the betrayal.
4. Understand whether the desire for forgiveness and reconciliation is mutual.

If the parties come to a consensus on the last point, then a joint visit to a psychologist will be the key to quick and significant progress in restoring normal relations. A specialist will help:

find that starting point after which the strength of family ties began to weaken;
analyze subsequent events;
find out the accumulated mutual or unilateral claims;
restore mutual understanding and trust.

Specifying the reasons for betrayal (sexual dissatisfaction, lack of attention, desire for revenge) is important, but not decisive for the restoration of family relations. With mutual striving, all obstacles can be easily removed. The psychology of love is based on frankness and spiritual closeness, on the willingness to take a step forward. If it is, the rest will certainly follow.

“When I found out about my wife’s betrayal, I was in shock and a complete stupor. Literally my heart stopped beating, I could not breathe, there was not enough air. How could she? How could she betray the most sacred thing - our family?

A conversation took place - she denied everything, but I have the facts, and I know the whole truth. I tried to forgive her. Whatever I did, nothing helps. I have already justified it, blamed myself - it's useless.

Now even when I just think about my wife, vile scenes are spinning before my eyes - it's all so disgusting and dirty. How to forgive your wife's betrayal? How to live on? A splinter has stuck in my heart ... I cannot forgive her. How to live with this, I do not understand ... Help! "

Victoria Vinnikova, teacher, answers:

I understand your feelings. It hurts and scares! You feel the unceasing pain of resentment - and at the same time the desire to keep your family together, to forgive your wife. But this pain does not let go, persistently reminding that a once close and dear woman betrayed you, neglected you, preferred another man to you.

The situation is so painful that it literally eats away at the soul. And even if the wife regrets, asks for forgiveness, you still cannot get rid of this pain ...

To forgive is to understand. But how can you understand a traitor if you yourself would never have done this?

Impossible! Meanwhile, every act and desire of a person always has psychological reasons.

System-vector psychology for the first time from the inside shows the reasons for adultery and why it is so difficult for some people to survive betrayal.

When a husband cannot understand the reasons for his wife's betrayal, he concentrates on the consequences. And this again and again plunges him into the epicenter of mental pain, and it seems that there is no way out, it is impossible to live like this any longer.

Not everyone can forgive betrayal and live on

There are people who easily go through life. For them, cheating is just an episode in life, so they easily forgive. But there are other people. It is they who are psychologically very difficult to experience betrayal. In essence, it is unbearable for them.

By their nature, such people are monogamous, and the main values in their life are home, family, children, purity, honesty, loyalty, decency, beloved woman. These are the best husbands - faithful and devoted to their wives, the best fathers and masters of their craft. You are one of such wonderful people.

But betrayal deals a devastating blow to your values. The world is literally crumbling to smithereens.
After the fact of treason, it is no longer possible to accept that "my wife is clean and decent." Unconsciously, she is perceived as a dirty woman. But this is not the case. It just has different properties.

Cheating on his wife - why did she do it?

People with different vectors are always attracted to a couple. This is how the sexual attraction between a man and a woman works. This ensures the greater stability of the family in life, because the advantages of one compensate for the disadvantages of the other. Where one does not have time, the other will pick it up. That is why we are all different, and the properties of each are very important.

At one time, it was these qualities that attracted you to each other. She has turned your head. And at the moment of falling in love, it seemed that she would be an exemplary wife and an excellent hostess, one who had everything in her hands.

Each of us lives according to the principle of pleasure. For your wife, probably the owner of the skin vector - pleasure of a completely different order. Mobility, craving for a change of impressions, economy in everything, perception of the world from the standpoint of benefit-benefit, a tendency to changes in space, time, the ability to make useful connections.

Life becomes too bland for your wife without change. If there were not enough changes in her life, but there was a continuous routine - home, work, children - then an unconscious desire can push her into adultery in marriage. Cheating is dangerous and difficult for both parties. But if a woman (in this case) is aroused by infidelity, then a man experiences a shock, from which it is most difficult for him, the best and most devoted, to get out. And that's why.

Why can't you forgive?

In family life, we are often under some pressure from our partner. These are both overestimated expectations and claims to each other. All this is gradually accumulating. For example, when the wife does not correspond to the ideas of the husband about the ideal. A hundred times a day we shift the blame points onto each other.

Initially, the family is a single mechanism, like a clock. It's just that your hand is “hour” and moves a little slower, while your wife’s, relatively speaking, “second”. And now, according to the sensations of the “clockwise” hand (for the husband), the wife moves too fast: she flickers and fusses. I would like to "slow down" her. These are the peculiarities of our perception, when you perceive your wife as a different self, only “wrong”.

Who sees cheating as a shame?

The root fear of people with an anal vector is to be disgraced. Disgrace in what? In native categories, clean / dirty is unexpectedly dirty. Cheating is always dirt and a feeling that you can't wash it off. This shame triggers a deep fear that does not allow you to calm down and forgive. The mind seems to understand everything, but the heart does not let go.

A person with a skin vector never experiences betrayal like that. For him, a huge blow will be, for example, a financial loss or demotion in the career ladder.

That is why, even if you want to forgive, pain remains, it does not allow you to restore and build relationships from scratch. Plus the strongest resentment. On the basis of resentment, the urge arises to reproach the wife for any reason. Outwardly - it seems like for unwashed plates, but in fact - for treason. And the inner unspoken feeling that after this "bad deed" of the wife, nothing good can be built. The experience of the past dominates and does not allow building relationships.

It is impossible to control this, since unconscious internal innate programs come into play. The anal vector has a complex psyche. And the most difficult thing for such people to forgive betrayal. Moreover, they are aimed at the past and love to delve into it.

Getting out of this psychological trap is difficult, but possible. But to persuade yourself, as psychologists advise: “to spit, forget, not pay attention” - will not work. Usually, such advice is given to you by people with a skin vector, for whom cheating is just a episode in their life.

And you do not tolerate lies, because you yourself are very decent. And there are other people around, not always honest and loyal. But we look at the world exclusively through our system of values and demand the same from other people.

And they cannot give it. It's like asking a scooter to become a rocket and go into low-earth orbit. Yes, only the scooter does not have such properties.

Your wife perceives life in a completely different way and enjoys it through her properties. She has a different value line. This is neither good nor bad, it is a given. We see and feel this world in different ways, although we look at the same thing.

It also seemed to thousands of people that it was impossible to forgive the betrayal of a loved one. However, this happened at the training, here are the reviews of only some of them:

“... I had a big grudge against my ex, with whom we lived for 5 years, we fought so much, but I always felt deprived, offended that she left me, even though I myself kicked her out because of all the hysterics and lack of return (like it seemed to me then). So, today my resentment has ceased to torment me ... "

“… Relations with my wife are reaching a transcendental level. I stopped reproaching her, stopped taking offense at her, getting angry, and making claims to her. In response, she reached out to me so that she suddenly became the same as before. Kind, sweet and affectionate. She became much calmer and more positive. Love her…"

Find the strength to forgive your wife

Until you thoroughly understand all the psychological characteristics of your wife, resentment and guilt will not let go.

To forgive a loved one, you need to understand and analyze what exactly made him do this. Of course, it is very important that a confidential conversation takes place between you. And everyone was able to talk about their feelings and desires, which, most likely, were not satisfied and realized.
You can start to better understand each other and strengthen relationships in a couple already Jul 25, 2018