Psychological causes of edema: what we are afraid of losing. I'm afraid to lose you sometime. Beautiful confessions to the boy in your own words

We are afraid of losing those we love, we are afraid of losing everything to which we are attached and what makes our life more or less stable and orderly, that the familiar world will collapse, and we will find ourselves in a completely unknown, frightening point without the usual supports and landmarks, with a downed a compass, lost meanings, and we are afraid that we will not get out of there, we will not cope, we will not fill the void, we will not be able to withstand the pain.

Our most common fear Losing loved ones (73% of people experience it).
Fear of falling into an emergency situation, being defenseless in the face of natural disasters and armed conflicts - 57%
Fear of getting sick and not being able to pay for treatment - 53%.

Fear of loneliness - 47%
Stay homeless - 46%
Fear of making the wrong decision, making the wrong choice - 41%
41% are afraid of the arbitrariness of law enforcement agencies.
Miss something important in life - 36%.
Lose your job - 35%.

About children
Fear that the child will fall into bad company, become a drug addict or an alcoholic - 48%
That something will happen to him - 41%
That the child will not be happy - 39%
Fear of being bad parents - 25%.

(The survey was conducted in September 2010 by the All-Russian Center public opinion for Psychology magazine).

In a nutshell - what to do with anxiety and fears(anxiety is a vague, indefinite, blurred sense of danger, fear is a fear of something specific, in other words, fear has a specific “object” that you can “meet”, analyze it, somehow treat it):

1. Find the source of anxiety (“what am I afraid of?”), formulate it, name it, turn to face it, study, consider, recognize, understand what is behind it.

2. Guess possible options development of a disturbing situation, assess the realism of these assumptions. Present the worst option, work it out and outline your plan of action in it (forewarned means forearmed).

3. Evaluate your resources (experience - your own and someone else's, knowledge, skills, strengths, support of other people), which, if something happens, will help you cope.

4. To relieve tension (no tension - no fear): muscle relaxation techniques, visualization, adrenaline-burning motor activity (sports, walking, dancing, cleaning the apartment), art therapy methods (sculpting, painting with paints, sand - you can portray your fear , to create his image, then change him, making him not scary, but cute), a pleasant, enjoyable activity.

5. Remember that we need a certain level of anxiety, this is a reaction to a threat (real or imagined), and it is needed for mobilization - so that we are ready for the unexpected, able to cope with dangerous (or just new to us) situations and adapt to change. It is impossible to avoid anxiety at all, just as it is impossible to avoid life.

But we also need to remember that we don’t know what awaits us around the corner, everything good and bad comes to us unexpectedly, you can live your whole life in the tense expectation of trouble, or you can focus on the “here and now”, on their actual needs and tasks, simultaneously developing the ability to accept the world as it is - unpredictable and uncertain.

My last year post on the topic -

Fear is an internal state caused by a threatening real or perceived disaster. From the point of view of psychology, it is considered a negatively colored emotional process. Wikipedia.

Fear. The most useful invention of evolution for man. We are afraid of everything in the world - from insects to death. We are afraid of losing someone or something, we are afraid of pain, we are afraid of difficulties and suffering. We can be scared to death - literally.

In many cases, fear helps - not to do outright stupidity, for example, jump from a high cliff into the water. Especially when you don't know what's down there. But sometimes fear gets in the way.

For example, fear prevents you from opening up. You are afraid to stand out from the crowd - and in the end you regret the lost opportunities. You are afraid to do something non-standard - and in the end you get nothing but an exploded brain. So you were afraid to invite the girl you liked to the school disco, go to the blackboard, say something at the meeting, and someone else brought your idea to life. They were afraid to get a tattoo because it hurts, to wear that crazy shirt over there, because everyone is used to you walking around in strict business suits ... How many fears ...

People are afraid of change because the whole comfort zone will collapse this very second. As children we were afraid of monsters, now we are afraid of losing our jobs, losing relationships or starting new ones. We're afraid to quit smoking because we don't know what it's like not to smoke. Fear of not drinking - because with alcohol it seems to be easier to live in this hasoy. We are afraid to disappoint or offend, harm or help. So many adults fears.

At one time I was afraid of a lot of things and struggled (and still struggle) with the fear of something according to the "wedge with a wedge" method. So I was afraid of public speaking - I spat on everything and went to work as an MC in a nightclub. Many then had a brain explosion - how did HE go to work as an MC ?! I was afraid that I would disappear into the crowd - I started to dance break-dance in the main square of my town. I battled my fear of death by jumping my freeride MTB through 3m holes and flying 10m at speed. Now I fight the fear by doing crazy things - crazy things for that scared boy that once lived in me a long, long time ago. And this is the most beautiful thing that can be. Gradually, in my vocabulary, the word "I'm afraid" evaporates, becomes ephemeral, ghostly. The brain clearly knows when to turn on the self-preservation mode - this goes without saying, but if I know that I can do it, I will do it. After all, having learned to manage your fears, you come to harmony with the Universe. And moreover, to harmony with oneself.

Don't be afraid to do something - be afraid of not doing something. You have to understand, discarding all religious lotions - you are here only once. Of course, if you believe in reincarnation, then everything is ok. You can continue to be afraid of everything in the world. But aren't you afraid that in your next life you will be a cockroach and then you are unlikely to be able to jump with a parachute or meet your new employee. So is it worth it to be afraid?

(Visited 29 times, 1 visits today)

1. Fear of being abandoned.

We are afraid of being abandoned because we are afraid of being alone, but time alone should be valued because instead of endlessly trying to get to know someone else, you have time to get to know yourself. But some people are afraid of it.

However, an important part of love is to understand that we cannot control who comes in and out of our lives. We can only control what happens to us in those moments. So even if you are abandoned, your ability to find love within yourself will allow you to share it with someone who not only deserves it, but will never take it for granted.

2. Fear of letting someone into your heart.

If you never let it in, then the person will look at you from the side. He will hear your words, but he will not feel them. He will see your actions, but will not understand their meaning. Life can seem easier because that's how you're trying to save your heart. You are afraid that the person will judge you for how real you are, but in fact it is you who is your biggest critic.

3. Fear of honesty.

How do you know that "I love you" means more than just three beautiful words? And how do you know when these words are meant more in actions than in speech? We can't predict how long this "I will always love you" will last, but we can trust that true love won't lie. She can make mistakes, but if you are honest with yourself and with your companion, you will understand that honesty is not always about keeping promises, it is about discussing why it was not possible to fulfill it.

4. Fear of wasting time on the wrong person.

We often look back on the days, months, years or decades spent with someone whose love was not eternal, and regret the lost time. We worry about the time and when we are alone, thinking how soon we will meet our love. But it doesn't matter if you're 27 or 77 years old, time spent in love is never wasted, even if it didn't end the way you wanted. Time is wasted when you're afraid to try those feelings at all.

5. Fear of letting go.

Sometimes we hold on to people we shouldn't. Sometimes because we can't let go. Sometimes because they decided not to let go. And sometimes we confuse these two concepts.

You can't let go, you're just afraid of what might happen if you let go. You hold on to something that no longer functions in the hope that your relationship will revive again. But in the end, your happiness should outweigh the fear of loneliness.

Once you overcome the fear of letting go, you will face the fear of moving on. While it's hard to get over a loss, it's just as hard to muster up the courage to find something better. On the one hand, you think you'll never find a better one, on the other hand, you try to tell yourself that it's okay, but a small part of you still hopes that you will find love again.

7. Fear of a second chance.

We are afraid to give a second chance because the pain we have already experienced may hit us again. We survived the first time, but we're afraid we won't survive it the second. Plus we don't know if a second chance is worth it, how much you both changed for a second try.

But no matter what the other person says or does, it's up to you to decide whether to give you a second chance.

8. Fear of losing the spark.

We are often afraid to lose not so much love as a spark, passion, love, those butterflies in the stomach. Because then it will become boring, and when bored, we are looking for someone new. We just forget why we had that spark in the first place. But if we remember, we can rekindle it.

9. Fear that someone will not accept your shortcomings and leave as soon as they see them.

We are afraid to show our shortcomings because we are afraid of not living up to the other person's expectations. But love is not justification of expectations, it is acceptance and adaptation when expectations are not met.

It's no secret that in order to maintain health and beauty, it is very important to maintain a certain level of fluid in the body. It should be enough to keep you hydrated. But it should not linger too long, causing swelling of the tissues.

Edema is the accumulation of excess fluid in the tissues. For the formation of edema, it is enough to increase the amount of fluid by 10% against the norm.

Constant renewal is necessary: ​​the body receives clean water and removes the one that has worked out its own and is now needed only to flush out harmful substances. The same update should occur with all other resources. You should think about what you are trying to keep in yourself or in yourself. Think - what are you afraid of losing?

If this is money, your greed on the physical level can manifest itself just in the form of edema and other stagnation in the body. Allow yourself to buy something that will please you and your loved ones. Remember that money "loves" movement. Properly investing them (not only in business, but also, say, in education), after a while you will gain even more.

Retention of water or other fluid in the body is a sign that a person is holding back their emotions. A person puffs up to protect himself. Edema can also occur in the process of eliminating or resolving some kind of conflict, when a person has a contradiction between the ego and the heart (to keep the conflict or resolve it). Check if you are holding strong emotions, both negative and positive. Throw out all the aggression and accumulated tension in physical and creative activities. And share your successes and joys with others. Do not forget to thank those who helped you achieve high results. Be emotionally generous. If you have been supported or cheered up (even if by accident), this is a great reason to do the same in relation to other people.

If you have swelling, your body tells you that you are holding yourself back because you lack confidence in your abilities and talents. You create obstacles and limitations for yourself. You have to step up and take risks, following your heart. Finally make some decision, because the longer the conflict drags on, the more you risk undermining your health.

Another option is the accumulation of bad memories and thoughts. Carrying out plans for revenge, chronic envy, or repeatedly playing scenes from the past in your head can be considered a "swelling" in the mind. The “water” that has been retained in it must be removed. And the sooner the better. Remember: the most effective method of treating such "edema" is forgiveness. Forgive other people and yourself for everything that was not done the way you would like.

Clean up and get rid of unnecessary things. They litter your life and show you the wrong example, forcing you to litter your life with unnecessary problems and illnesses.

To quickly get rid of excess fluid in the morning after waking up and before going to bed, lying in bed, say the following phrases: “I easily let go of my past. I am ready for something new in my life. I am free. I'm safe".

The brain does not allow us to leave the comfort zone, thereby protecting us from danger. That is why we subconsciously resist and are afraid of the unknown.

However, no one can succeed by sitting still and doing nothing. For this you need to act. Don't walk on beaten paths. Staying still is scary, but moving forward and facing something new is exciting. Take advantage of what life has to offer. It will open new horizons for you.

The thought of fear itself is much greater than what we fear.

Idowu Koyenikan, author of Wealth for All Africans

2. Fear of failure

This is one of the main reasons why people can't budge. We are afraid of losing what we already have along the way. We ask the notorious question "What if? ..", which stops us. What if I can't be like him? What if the attempt fails? What if I lose everything?

Success is not the end, failure is not the end. What matters is the courage to keep moving forward.

Winston Churchill, British politician