Male view of relationships. Male view of a woman
Taking offense is a favorite hobby of most women. A great chance to be an actress: throw a scandal, explode like a volcano, pour hot lava of love around the apartment and burn your man. Just so that he was in good shape.
How women get offended
Even 30 years ago, women smashed dishes and threw things from the balcony. Today you block him on social networks and all kinds of messengers, cry on a friend's shoulder in a hookah bar, walk in sexy lingerie, while depriving him of sex. And it doesn't matter what he did - threw his socks in the middle of the room or flirted with another. You will “punish” all the same, so that from now on it will be discouraged.
Yes, women are more emotional. Men are not sophisticated in their resentment. He will shut up and leave. Maybe the bedroom. Maybe a bar with friends. And the silence ... And now you will not have time to look back, as you yourself collect his socks and call back.
Why it happens?
A bit of biology. As far as you know, the left hemisphere of our brain is rational and the right is emotional. When your man was still a boy, testosterone affected his brain development and stimulated active growth in the left hemisphere. Therefore, men are calmer, more logical and are rarely guided by emotions.
I understand men one hundred percent!
Some women think that way. Such "super-minds" have formed myths and stereotypes. And they are happy to "advise" their girlfriends regarding the male half of humanity: "What are you doing! Men don't like it! ”; “He will not be tempted to attack her, because she is hysterical”; "This handsome man does not suit this simpleton."
Word-of-mouth marketing works, value delusions are passed from one oiled mouth to another ... But more often than not, these "smartest" women are wrong.
What a man doesn't forgive: a woman's point of view
Stupidity
Oh, how mistaken is the opinion of women: they say, a worthy man wants to see only an intelligent girl next to him. And "fitonyashki" are needed only for sex. Do you really think - if a woman doesn't know what blockchain and sublimation are, she won't build a great relationship? In fact, the main thing in a woman is femininity, smile, charisma. And the ability to listen. This is what "fitonyashki" can boast of, who silently smile, winding a blond curl on their finger. Therefore, millionaires often have "stupid" beauties in their wives.
A man does not choose according to his mind, except perhaps a "rogue" who wants his wife to earn money on her own or be a 50/50 girl. I'm not saying you need to take your two master's degrees in the trash right now. Read between the lines. A man needs one who does not bother, knows how to listen, smiles, a cheerful and light woman. And what difference does it make whether she reads a volume of Dostoevsky before bedtime or watches Dom-2. Favorites ". But it does not compost the brain after work, it helps to forget about business, with one click switches to rest and family.
Inside, we are all Supermen who are eager to perform feats for you women. But in return, we expect recognition of our masculinity. And after a hard labor battle, we dream of home comfort and tranquility. If you want to be smart - sign up for a philosophy course.
Bad taste
Girls notice every little detail in each other: a tasteless bag, a dress from the collection before last, and even an unfashionable eyebrow shape. And they think that it is obvious to men too. Pardon me, but if a man wears a Rolex, it does not mean that he will identify Chinese louboutins. And it is unlikely that she will compare your hairstyle over there with that fashionable haircut of the young lady at the next table.
Yes, in your form, there must definitely be logic. We do not understand the "war paint" and smokey ice at 9 am. Are you on alert? You have already lost the battle ...
We read the general picture of a woman: her image, femininity, neatness, elegance. It is important for us that a woman is harmonious in her appearance and radiates tenderness. It is not necessary to wear expensive dresses - some girls know how to be feminine even in jeans and a T-shirt.
What about the cleavage?
Short mini and seductive bulging shapes look seductive, that's a fact. But what does this appearance say about its owner? That's right, about its ease of accessibility and frivolity. Clothing style signals the world who you are. Therefore, if you broadcast aggressive sexuality, the woman will be treated accordingly. They will want to take from her what she offers. And then you say that there are only goats around ...
Excessive drama
Dispelling the myth that men hate emotional women. Some men are impressed by the violent manifestation of emotions, playfulness and expression. In moderation, of course!
It is important to understand that drama has to be artistic and sexy. And most importantly, a woman is simply obliged to finish the game on time and fade out. And not play out the 5th act. If you feed a man expression in small portions, then it will be perceived as a delicacy. And not like a trough of hot borscht on your head.
Tearfulness and dramatic brain drain will not please a man. Skillful emotional management will spice up your relationship.
Window dressing
When a man is in love, he will close his eyes to many wrongdoings. But remember: “being smart” and “being smart” are two different things. We are ready to forgive a woman for showing off and showing off if she is fleeting and looks nothing more than a woman's prank. Such a line between wisdom and the ability to pretend to be a fool. If you manage to keep the balance, the man will be yours.
A really smart woman knows when to speak and when to remain silent. He will quickly get tired of the excess of chatter, pretense and sharp tongue of the partner. Men do not need to strain in communication. He wants to rest with you morally.
By the way, window dressing is not only intellectual. Some women give the world beauty, even when they don't ask for it: disperse, Vika does a twine on the bar counter with a glass of half-drunk whiskey in her hand. Sometimes it works, if he is really interested. The main thing is not to make a tradition out of it.
Moving on to the male point of view: 8 things men don't forgive women
Remember: self-esteem comes first for a man. Love is second. Even the rogue adheres to this order. If you do not agree - think about it: would you fall in love with a person who allows you to wipe your feet on yourself?
Public criticism
Never make a claim in public. Even constructive criticism should be spoken quietly in your ear. Not every man is ready and tete-a-tete to listen to your moral teachings. Often with this - and completely kill the relationship. And it's not about vanity. In the eyes of a man, you will become a Judas in a skirt.
I will explain. A man is a warrior who fights against society every day for a cozy place in the sun. The beloved woman inspires: motivates to go into battle and gives ammunition. If you put a spoke in your wheels, you will quickly become a "stranger". To some extent, this is even treason. And he will not forgive you.
Denial of masculinity
Not a single "I love you" can compare with the phrase: "Darling, you are so courageous!" If you do not see him as a man, and occasionally also state out loud that he is "like a woman" - do not expect anything good in return. The man will behave according to your expectations. And then he will give up for the sake of the one who will not doubt his masculinity. You say, "Another goat." But if you repeat the mistake, such "goats" will increasingly appear on your way.
My personal observations show that women are more likely to forgive cheating. Why do you think? A little excursion into the male brain: we change because we lack feelings, impressions and admiration. He is missing something in the family. If a man cheats on drunkenness, then this is a double search for sensations: "to make it good and easy."
While cheating on a woman is a serious step, there is an internal conflict. So, a man cheats by chance, and a woman - rationally.
It is not a constant, but it is more often than not. A woman is unfaithful with all her being, feelings. And we men feel it. Therefore, we cannot forgive the blow to male pride. Remember the undermining of masculinity? It's all about the same thing.
Manic jealousy
A man, as I said, is a warrior by nature. Total control and an attempt on freedom of choice is regarded as an infringement of his ego. If a woman is notorious and stuffed with fears, she will be jealous, check the phone, throw in baseless accusations and climb into her pockets while he is in the shower. Jealousy will turn the warrior into a toy soldier who is played and put at the checkpoint by 21:00. As a rule, jealousy is accompanied by endless scandals, clarification of the relationship - who is hiding in a notebook under the name "Zhenya Sis". And even after you find out that this is Evgeny the system administrator, you will find a new reason for jealousy.
Jealousy is a sign of selfishness. The desire to possess is superior to the feeling of love. A normal man understands that in this case you love yourself more than him. Who needs it?
Comparison
When you compare your man with your friend's husband, work colleague, brother, you seem to say between the lines: "He's cooler than you, and you're not good enough." If you do not consider your man the best, then why are you with him? Thus, you do not respect him, yourself and your relationship in general. He will get tired of comparisons and simply leave you. Somewhere in the world there is a woman who will admire him one hundred percent.
Dreaming of their prince on a white horse, many girls for some reason do not think that the male and female views on many things are quite different. Men have a different way of thinking, a different character, different interests. Unlike women, they are more aggressive, purposeful, and reckless.
No man likes to give in, even if with his whole appearance he shows the opposite. All these qualities leave their mark on their relationship with the opposite sex. Therefore, a girl who dreams of her strong and happy family should remember: the male view of relationships can be somewhat different.
Man and woman in search of the ideal
Every person dreams of meeting his ideal. But the male and female views on what the ideal partner should be are very different. As a rule, women like strong and confident men. The kind with whom they will feel protected.
Men are winners by nature. They do not need a strong partner as they are able to protect themselves and their families. From the point of view of a man, the ideal girl is the one who can give him affection and care, will be support and support for him, and love, no matter what. The man doesn't need anything else. A girl does not have to be successful and earn a lot. Moreover, it will be quite difficult for a man to endure the fact that his wife earns more or is more successful than himself.
That is why successful women very often cannot find their happiness in their personal lives. A woman like that doesn't need a loser. She dreams of meeting a successful and self-confident man. But is she herself the ideal partner for such a man? Definitely not! She is too independent and is unlikely to be ready to sacrifice her interests for the interests of her husband.
Anastasia, 27 years old, entrepreneur. Single.
Now all the men have gone some not like that. They can do nothing but sit back and complain about their life. Why do I need this? I have long been accustomed to relying only on myself. Some of my girlfriends were lucky and they met guys with whom they feel like behind a stone wall. I haven’t met such people yet ...
Love and sex: two points of view
The male view of love and sex also has its own characteristics. For most women, physical fidelity is just as important as spiritual. The concepts of love and sex for them are, if not synonyms, then very interrelated concepts.
In contrast to women, the male view of sex is more frivolous. For a guy, sex is just a process of getting pleasure and nothing else. For most men, it is not difficult to sleep with a stranger. It has nothing to do with love. Moreover, a man will never truly fall in love with such an approachable girl. Yes, they can be in a relationship.
The reasons are different:
Good sex, the absence of another partner ... But most likely there will be no real love between them. Therefore, when building your relationship, be prepared for the fact that a man's view of love may be somewhat different from yours.
Maxim, 34 years old, manager. Married for 6 years.
At work, I often have to go on business trips. Sometimes they are quite long. Am I cheating on my wife? Yes, it does happen, albeit infrequently. Far from home, I miss her very much. We have to somehow compensate for this. But this does not affect my love for her in any way. Now we have a baby and I am very happy in marriage. And treason ... Well, it was necessary to somehow rest. Plus, far from home, I missed her a lot. I had to somehow compensate for this.
Male view of the wedding
The male view of the wedding also has little to do with the female. If women from childhood dream of getting married and creating their own family, then guys usually begin to think about getting married only by the age of 25-30.
Firstly, this is due to the fact that after the wedding, a man will have to provide not only himself, but also his new family, and at an early age not everyone can do it. And secondly, every guy understands that his male view of sex, and of love in general, is unlikely to please a woman.
That is why marriage for guys is not only creating a family and a happy life with a loved one, but also some restriction of freedom. Many people understand this. Well, those who do not understand later very often regret it.
In general, the male view of the wedding can be characterized by the following phrase: "Do not marry until you are 100% sure of your love!"
Ivan, 22 years old, car mechanic. Married for 2 years.
Yesterday he quarreled with his own again. I'm tired of it already. Just think, I drank a little. Can't I sometimes relax with friends? I haven't spent my last money on drink. I may not be a perfect husband, but I do my best for my family. I never hurt her, and yesterday I was not going to argue with anyone. But before I got in, she started screaming ... In the end, he spat on everything and left. I bought another half-ruble beer and went to the bench in the neighboring courtyard. He never returned home, spent the night with a friend in the hostel. Damn, how I envy unmarried!
This is how he is - a man's view of relationships. Perhaps a lot of this girls will not like very much, but such is nature. There's nothing you can do about it!
What men want to see in women at twenty, thirty, forty years and older. Details about each decade of a man's age.
To help you understand men better, I’ll tell you what they think about relationships with women as they get older and at what point in their lives they are ready to get married.
A man at twenty ...
Between the ages of twenty and thirty, a man tries to form an opinion about himself and his abilities. He makes mistakes and knows their value.
He does not yet know the real value of money; students are always broke and more often than not try to succeed in other areas, not in the financial sphere.
But when a man is twenty-seven or twenty-eight years old, he wants more serious achievements - to have a cool car, an enviable position and enough money. All this becomes important for him, but marriage is not on the list of desired achievements, since it does not in any way relate to goals related to career growth and financial independence. In addition, usually all the men around him, from his own father and brothers to work colleagues, constantly tell him that he needs to walk to his heart's content and try to avoid long-term relationships with one woman for as long as possible.
What does this mean for relationships
Yes, of course, it is possible - to find worthy representatives of the stronger sex, who are capable of building a worthy career at the age of twenty to thirty years, earn enough money and achieve a level of success that allows them to settle down with their wife and children with peace of mind. But, unfortunately, most men during this period simply do not consider relationships with women too serious a matter. However, you can assess the potential of a man in his early twenties, even if he is not thinking about marriage yet. The key criterion for assessing is the man's ability to perform acts.
A person with potential will not sit in his pants in front of the TV; he has a good life plan, he knows exactly what he wants and how to achieve it. An energetic man, already at a young age, gets on the rails, along which he will later roll to a happy future.
In addition to potential, you can assess the personal qualities of a person: how respectful he treats you, whether he will treat you the way you want, and, finally, is he a decent person or is inclined to break laws. It would also be good to find out if he is a supporter of monogamous relationships. It's enough to see how he behaves with other women when you are together.
At one time, the coach told me: as you train, so you perform. If a man does not seek monogamy when dating you, and his moral qualities do not tell him what is fair and what is not fair in relation to a woman, then how can that change when you marry him?
Let me be very frank: you have every right to challenge a man to an honest conversation. You need to tell him how you see your life beyond the threshold of thirty, and explain that the lifestyle that you put up with in your student days, when you were twenty years old, will not suit you at thirty-seven, when the physical ability to give birth to children practically runs out ...
He must understand: for him there are only two acceptable models of behavior: either he marries you and takes full responsibility, or goes beyond the horizon, allowing you to focus on finding a partner who can give what you need.
A man at thirty ...
Usually at this age, a man no longer builds a career - he strengthens it, trying to reach the desired level of wealth and achieve at least some of the goals outlined in his maximum program. The hectic lifestyle and pursuit of pleasures inherent in youth are becoming "what was." We are also more relaxed about the fact that soon we will have to stop chasing every skirt, because, in fact, we have already received everything that can be obtained from this occupation, and the hunting passion gradually subsides.
A man manages to understand that he should look for a woman who will not turn life together into a drama, but, on the contrary, will try to make it fun and easy. Such a woman will support in difficult times and will be faithful to him. If he finds her, he will want to take responsibility for her and the children.
Of course, a lot depends on at what age, in the opinion of a man, he became successful. If he is still about thirty, and success has already come, a man begins to think about marriage soon after his thirties. But if the thirty-year milestone has been reached, and success has not yet come, the man will not even think about getting married. The main thing for him will remain the observation of other people's success and alignment with people whose welfare differs from his current position.
What does this mean for relationships
The most important trait of a thirty-year-old man is responsibility. You can expect your partner to be committed to a long-term relationship.
However, you should not wait for him to take the initiative himself. There are many women in the world who have met men, who at some point decided to have an intimate relationship with them and who have been waiting for a marriage proposal for many years. They hoped to receive reciprocal love and devotion, and then discovered that their men were simply not interested in marriage.
You don't have to wait that long, you can ask a direct question and get the appropriate answer: "Are you thinking of marrying me?" Perhaps he will answer that he is not ready yet. I do not advise you to be satisfied with this answer, ask for more specificity. Ask how he feels about marriage in general. If a man answers that “he is not one of those who get married,” or says that “he did not plan this in the near future,” you should not just leave him - run as best you can.
Let him know that you want to have a family, even if not immediately, but after a while, and if he does not want to share these plans with you, he will have to look for someone else. Yes, it is difficult to say such things, I understand. You are afraid that he will leave, and you will have to cry for him, and then suffer, trying to find someone else, and even not just anyone, but such a person with whom you can make serious plans.
But I said this before and I will say it again: the white light did not converge on any wedge. The man you are breaking up with is not the last person on earth. Don't get stuck, keep moving forward. You were wrong with the choice of a partner, but it doesn’t matter. Wipe away your tears and go ahead, in search of the person you deserve, a man who can appreciate what you are ready to give.
A man at forty ...
Forty years is time to settle down. This is a great time in a man's life. It is at this age that the best features appear in him, if, of course, they are.
If a man is single by the age of forty, then there are good reasons for that. Maybe he was unlucky in love. Maybe he has a job to which his whole life is subordinated. Or perhaps you are one of those eccentrics, to whom the idea of a family and children is, in principle, alien, even at such a mature age. There are such people - principled opponents of any bonds, including marriage.
Most likely, such a man feels quite comfortable living alone. He is able to provide for himself, in his life there is a place for women who behave in such a way as not to create unnecessary anxiety. Such a man needs a woman who can satisfy him in sex, and at the same time, just like him, who does not want to cross a certain line in a relationship.
If a forty-year-old man became unwillingly, due to a divorce, most likely there will be no one next to him, because after a failed marriage he became a cautious person, but in him the hunting instinct plays stronger than in someone who is used to single life. A suddenly freed man feels that he can afford to flirt without consequences, and, of course, he wants to stretch out the pleasant minutes of his single life a little.
Moreover, it may be years before he starts thinking about starting a long-term relationship with someone again, before the fear of previous failure passes and the man feels the urge to restrain himself again. This is especially true for those who have recently divorced, because the feelings he continues to have for his ex-wife are still very fresh and complex.
What does this mean for relationships
To find a free forty-year-old man, and even more so to get one, you have to sweat thoroughly. He had already been there, he did it, the wasp waist, cutesy looks and long, half-down eyelashes no longer make him tremble. He knows perfectly well how to find a beauty in his twenties and spend a couple of nights with her, but, as a rule, he has done this so many times that the pursuit of a random skirt has lost its charm.
Remember that dating a 40-year-old divorced man is especially difficult if his marriage has just fallen apart. He may, for a variety of reasons, think that you are too much like the wife he has spent years with and will try to stay away from you.
If he divorced no more than two years ago, you should not count on anything more than simple, non-binding sex. He will probably want to date someone else, and your personal beauty and attractiveness does not matter in the least.
But sooner or later, any man ceases to experience the pain that tormented him, and he becomes lonely. He sooner or later realizes that even having sex it is more pleasant to deal with a woman of your age than with a twenty-five-year-old girl. He knows full well that physical perfection is not as important as it is commonly believed, and that partnerships, based on kinship and similarities in life experience, are much more important.
A man of fifty or more years ...
At this age, men begin to worry about health, because they feel the first signs of impending weakness. And of course, taking care of your health is much easier if you have a woman nearby. It is more difficult for a man to teach himself to live properly, eat and try not to expose the body to unnecessary stress if there is no woman nearby.
What does this mean for relationships
Any man in his mature years tends to think about his health and how to spend the last years of his life. This makes him a person from whom serious intentions can and should be expected. In this he differs from a thirty and even forty-year-old man. He is looking for a partner with whom he can grow old together, sees what is the downside of the hard work that he has to do throughout his life, and begins to think about how well he can do what he has dreamed of all his life - to travel, or simply relax, calmly, day after day, in the company of a permanent partner.
An elderly man is pleased to know that there is a woman nearby who, like him, has solved all the important life problems for herself and prepared to spend the rest of her days in peace and contentment.
Dear ladies, of course, there are no rules without exceptions. In this chapter, I have tried to paint only a general picture of what happens to men as they reach each new milestone in biological age. I will be happy if what I have shared with you will help you achieve love and respect from men and build the harmonious relationship that you undoubtedly deserve.
Discussion
Most people were brought up and continue, according to the template of the customs of society, instinct, orders of authoritative personalities in the form of parents, etc., if we say in a general definition without their own personal opinion. Human research sciences are reduced to these underestimated, and rather incorrect indicators, from the point of view of ideality. My opinion is this / At the age of 33, the end of the formation of a man's worldview (end of training, a clear picture, thoughts, ideas, etc.) Provided that self-esteem is developed through self-study (not upbringing, not copying examples from a person!) And blood, genetics 80 % depends on her (intellectually). But unfortunately he is not aware of girls!
well, a 50-year-old bachelor is already a diagnosis
it turns out that you can get married only for 50 year olds with some kind of guarantee :)
Comment on the article "Age and outlook on relationships. Is a man ready to marry?"
It is believed that if in a couple that has been living together for many years, one partner develops and the other does not, this relationship is doomed (cooling, parting, divorce) Is this so? I think it's not about growth. The main thing is that the basic life values are compatible, how much the ideas about the material and everyday side of life coincide (family income, the way of "extraction" and spending), ideas about how to raise children so that characters fit each other, family roles ( that is, the terms of reference of the husband ...
American Gothic is not only about the old buildings of New Orleans, the novels by Edgar Poe and Anne Rice, the canvases of Hans Giger and Sylvia G. This is also the name of one of the most famous, quoted and parodied paintings in American painting. Its author, a realist artist from Iowa Grant Wood, was little known to the general public until, in 1930, American Gothic was awarded a bronze medal at an exhibition of the Art Institute of Chicago. The painting, which today is considered one of the most talented and ...
in my opinion we have a very frivolous attitude towards marriage. and it has become a tradition since Soviet times. no apartment, no education, no permanent job. but to get married Fertile age within marriage is longer for those who started a family early 07/13/2015 11:25:22 AM, Cat-S.
Discussion
Yes, no way, let those girls who are against "dodged and thrown", they "do not give". And they don't listen to those who say that "there should be experience with different men before the wedding," I like the rule "no one owes anything to anyone."
But in general, you can satisfy all your conditions if you decide what a "long relationship" is.
Everyone agrees that 4 years are long. A year? And 6 months? And 3 months?
In general, we define that such "long", and throw it a day earlier.
In general, I was surprised by the phrase "To tie up some kind of long-term relationship and then dump is bad" - that is, it is generally bad? If the boy wanted to get married, but the girl dumped, too bad? And if they nevertheless got married, and then the girl decided to leave and filed for divorce - too bad?
Or is it just "bad" to leave girls, while girls can throw boys?
Specifically, my children, I'm not going to climb with advice at all, let them do what they want.
As for me, in my youth I had a lot of SHORT relationships (from a couple of months to a year) where at the end the boy wanted to get married, and I gave up because he bored me. That is, for me a year is still "short".
On the other hand, when I like a man, but he does not want to continue the relationship, it hurts even after 2 months of meetings, and even after 2 dates.
In general, it is not a matter of duration.
No way. To act according to your heart, that's all. To love, not to count. And do it not because you need to, but because you cannot do otherwise.
Marrying is generally a state matter, which has nothing to do with love.
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What do men think of marriage? Exciting question, right? Men, from the point of view of the stereotype, are not inclined to think deeply about relationships and worry too much about conflicts with their wife. But in reality, family problems affect them no less than us. They just don't always show it. If a man undertakes to write a novel about marriage, romantic relationships between husband and wife, successes and failures in family life, it may seem strange and “not courageous” to someone. But nobody will ...
In our time, when the values of marriage are losing their positions more and more, you will not surprise anyone by remarriage. Women get married after divorce, and men get married. However, very often such relationships are complicated due to the fact that the spouse cannot in any way accept the fact that the man has obligations to the child or children from the first family. Alimony, communication on the territory of the "former", holidays dedicated to the child from the first marriage, which means "stolen" from the newly formed family ...
1. How to decide who to marry? You need to find someone who loves the same as you. If, for example, you love sports, then she should also like that you love sports, and she should make sure that there are chips at hand and what to dip in * (Alan, 10 years old). In fact, no one knows who he will marry until he grows up. God decides all this in advance, and only then we find out with whom we were connected (Kirsten, 10 years old). 2. What is the best age to get married? Best of all at twenty-three, because besides ...
he doesn't want to get married. Marriage. Family relationships. Another thing is that the "stamp in the passport" does not change much in my opinion ... But Both chose to marry. If a man does not marry within 3 years, then the likelihood that he will never offer to go to the registry office is very high.
Discussion
doesn’t want and don’t need to, you’ll find yourself even better :) really, really ..
It seems to me that now it makes no sense for you to think about his motives - why does he live with you. What's the difference? after this phrase "you have pi ..... san, you want to get married!" I personally would have dumped right away and would only be glad that we have no common children. You are only 28, don’t waste time on tricksters, find one who is really ready for family life.
My eldest daughter Lyubasha was in the center of attention for 12 years of her life - and only in the thirteenth year did she have a sister, Sasha. Of course, jealousy is present, why dissemble. Lyubasha was not mentally prepared for this - simply because it is impossible to mentally prepare, this is only a personal experience. And she also has a transitional age, denial of everything that is possible. I do not pedal, of course, I defend only what is needed - school affairs, study. When Maxim and I got married, Lyuba's father was jealous that she ...
3 weeks ago, at a tire fitting, I met a cute silent man for 30 years, he works as an energy engineer and is all so active, so I will call him current :) Oak was away, so I went to the cinema with electricity, everything was very cute and touching ... Then there was another invitation to a classical music concert at the Philharmonic, I wanted to go, I hadn’t been there for 100 years ... In general, I talked to the current "heart to heart", said that she had just gone through a difficult divorce, was not ready for romantic ...
Discussion
By the way, does the current know that you have 2 children?
11/19/2013 09:06:08, songbird ...and this is how you want :) if you want - go, you don't want to - don't tell your name .. You don't owe him anything, as he does to you - and this is the most beautiful thing in such a relationship :)
On Sunday, taking the opportunity that the children had fun with soup, and I was sexually unsuitable, they went mushrooming with their lover ... My lover (I will call him oak for short, he has his own carpentry workshop, is engaged in interior design) is married, we know each other 5 years old ... He always liked me, but we only flirted when we met and exchanged sms on birthdays ... :) We encountered by chance this winter, sat in a cafe, shared "family status updates", I talked about my sluggish .. ...
Discussion
Everything is good, one thing is bad ... You will not be happy as long as one "soup", another "oak", and mezhduenka - "maramoyka" - well, someone rubbed the marble at Rodin's). Either you gave "oak", or "oak" gave - all one "inlay-freak show".
You are somehow hysterically active, there is no main attribute of beauty in you - calmness, despite your external attractiveness, and therefore there is no active wisdom in you. They came here like advice from experienced and experienced ones to ask - why did you put up your photo? Here, they say, not with the "soup" bast of the shita, but with the "oak" acorn? All the same, the feeling of a "soup set". Don't be offended. This is true. There is no reliability in you: your ex-husband has cheated, children are in hesitation - shouldn't you betray your mother for "lentil stew"; junior for a sweet tooth, substituting you - and all your fiery speech to the father-in-law for the service was reduced to nothing (it turns out, there was no need to blaze) ... All intimacy for show.
Fuss too ...
not a fool man - a beauty in the photo)))
09/25/2013 17:23:20, Echidna))))Found her on classmates - our age. Very interesting and stylish. If I were you, I would use this moment to refresh your relationship with your husband. A man is also not ready much more often than he is ready :) Butterflies pulled out from their bellies die quickly.
Today I quarreled with my husband again. And for the last year this has been happening for the same reason: I am on maternity leave, the child is two years old, I have taken over most of my everyday life. Thank God my mother is actively helping me, without her I would be unbearable. Every time my husband comes home from work, he looks for an excuse to find fault with the cleanliness of the apartment. I am tormented by the question, why did it not bother him before, but now, even some toy that is not cleaned up after a child becomes my "jamb"? Let me explain. When we started living together ...
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Thank you all very much for your feedback. My mother's example still taught me, and in any case I will not be left penniless. In September, my daughter will go to kindergarten, and there I will go to work and my husband's quiet life at home will end. I will not hire a nanny under any conditions, this is my subjective opinion.
For those who do not quite understand me, I want to clarify: doing household chores in the presence of all household appliances, of course, is not a catharga, but I am not eager to do it every day. When, for the whole day, you manage with your child and do a lot of work around the house and doctors, and to the store and something else to sew your child, and to do sports. And by the time your dad returns happy with yourself, you expect, if not admiration, then at least some gratitude, but instead you hear: "Is that all? I would have done all this in 3 hours, but here it was difficult to clean up?" It doesn’t end with anything but a scandal, and after that I don’t feel like having sex, or warmth, or even talking.
An example of my mother's life (. From time to time he started a conversation with me about why my mother didn’t work (apparently he was counting on what I’ll tell her. I didn’t dare to open such a topic ..). I know for sure that money did not play any role. Father received a lot (a great rank in the army) and at the same time was very intangible. He needed the social status of his wife. The same wonderful mommy is my friend. Her husband is a wealthy oriental man. Moreover, his wife is a housewife. It was sounded in the presence of me and my husband and the case is slowly but surely moving towards divorce, most likely ((. Well, there are such men. Although women too .. I can't imagine that I can fall in love with a * householder *, even if he is rich.
07/11/2012 14:47:42, songbird ...Men no longer need to marry a girl after sex, they enjoy an abundance of opportunities. But there are more and more men who prefer an open relationship without the bonds of marriage. In my opinion, at the age of 20-25 there are a lot of more exciting activities ...
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It's just that the priorities have changed.
Smiled "There are a lot of girls aged 22-30 who still do not know how to ski" Why did you decide that "getting married" is something that everyone should want and have?
05/27/2012 10:43:11 PM, qwerty12Conference "Family Relations". Section: Marriage. Why did you get married? Or did you get married? I thought. Apparently, it’s a young age or something else, I don’t even know. For me, a man's desire to marry me is a sign that his intentions regarding me are serious.
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to have and raise children, I didn't really need a marriage anymore .. naturally, I can only raise children with my beloved man :))
I do not need marriage for the sake of meaning. For me, a man's desire to marry me is a sign that his intentions regarding me are serious.
She recognized a civil marriage in her green youth, but now she does not.
Now I have a second marriage and both marriages were concluded in love.
Cockroaches (in my opinion): he thinks that a husband has to do a lot of things: he should be the first to call, invite him to a cinema theater (buying tickets himself is a terrible horror), should 2. What generally attracts a man to a woman for a long-term relationship? Well, it depends on me. he is ready to marry.
Discussion
Your girlfriend needs a lover. Let her give her a ring - she will tell everyone that she is engaged :) And why should she marry ?? Divorce, converge, spoil the biography! ..
Let the property row for itself, and the stamp does not shine anymore.
Point by point, attracts the one with whom he is comfortable, as I understand it. Which understands him consciously or intuitively, and at the same time does not strain, does not irritate, etc.
We sometimes misjudge ourselves. And then what to want from others? One man will consider her fat, another - thin, the third - bony, the fourth - beautiful.
Someone will want to marry, because of the number of personally high assessments of this particular woman.
Much depends on upbringing - if a man grew up in a family where women blew away dust particles from themselves and spent unmeasuredly, it will be difficult for him to please - he will see a tasteless thing in his wardrobe and a scratch on the nail. And the other does not need anything, you put on your lips - and great.
My husband has all items except b). And that's because I don't need it nafig. I like theater more with my girlfriends, we also like films of different genres and + I don't like flowers, one might say. Again, I think that the absence of item b) is perfectly compensated by item a) by more than your friend needs :)
Compared to your friend, I am "no". I can cook deliciously, but I can't stand this business. Time is a pity. Therefore, I do not cook, we eat all sorts of garbage. I don’t erase, I don’t clean, I don’t iron. I invite someone else's aunt. I regularly go to the salon only for pedicure and manicure. And that is only due to the fact that too lazy to do everything myself. Outwardly, it is very average, and now it is also fat, like a pig (after childbirth and breastfeeding in particular). In short, outwardly it is definitely not "beautiful Pepita", as my grandmother says (good soul!).
I know for sure that a bunch of unmarried girls were wooed for my husband, I saw a couple. Outwardly, definitely better than me! Although, the taste and color ...
When I ask my husband why he preferred me to slender beauties who bake pies and go to bed with makeup, and get up earlier than my husband to apply the same makeup (I don’t grow at all at 36, only lips sometimes). He answers me with jokes, like that it’s scary to go to bed with those who paint heavily! You lie with Marilyn Monroe, and you wake up with Baba Yaga, etc. In general, he says that I have an awesome sense of humor, optimism, remarkable artistic abilities, and it’s fun and easy with me .. I don’t know ... It’s somehow doubtful ... I’m jealous, I can easily read his SMS and cheekily listen to phone calls conversations. I'm selfish, etc. True, many friends tell me that although I am who I am, you can never expect meanness from me, I will just say everything I think right away, spit on my bald head and send it to hell!
IMHO the first place should be the question of how you fit together.
it is known that, on average, women move away from breaking up relationships for about 15 months, and men for about 3 months. But of course, with their interest in these relations. If you are just glad that they ended for so long, they will not worry.
But the fact that the next girlfriend after a divorce is not the one who is for a long time or forever - really often. She herself was (fool) :)
04/02/2010 10:23:37 am, smart dashaI was very young - I didn't even think about having wives, I took these connections easily, but I didn't need a serious relationship at a more mature age - either. But I won't stop retelling the stories of two men who divorced and married Are you ready?
Discussion
was, a couple of times lasted about three months, stopped, because I was tired of hiding, and how the men both were not up to par.
was. Moreover, at that time he had not lived with his wife for 2.5 years (his wife lives in another country), but he was not going to divorce, although at first he hung up noodles for me that he would get divorced. We parted with him after 2.5 years on my initiative. Although I loved him very much. But I really felt that it was time to finish, otherwise it would blow the roof off. After our separation, he left for a third country, not the one where his wife, and still lives like one - he earns money and then sends them to his wife, but for some reason they still do not want to live together.
After that, I met another married man, to be honest, at that moment I absolutely did not care about his marital status - I just wanted to knock out a wedge with a wedge, which, in the end, I succeeded. But there were no feelings, in general - just sex and nothing else. if this comrade wanted to leave for me, I would be very upset - as a husband, I didn’t need him at all, only for one-time meetings. This connection, in general, has not ended, it is sluggish, like schizophrenia :) But in parallel with this, I also meet with others, with unmarried.
My grandmother is 19 years older than my grandfather and has been living since 1951 and is not going to get divorced. My grandmother is 80 years old and my grandfather is 61 years old. (dad is 60 years old))))
02/20/2001 22:08:35 PM, SnejanaAll men have similar expectations of what their beloved woman should be. Why is that?
It's not a secret for anyone - the first thing that becomes the object of a man's attention when choosing a woman for a close relationship is her appearance. And this is quite understandable, because if a woman's appearance repels you, then how can you want, for example, to kiss her?
In addition, it is important for a man that the chosen one walking with him could arouse the envy of other representatives of his sex with her beauty, because the pride inherent in all men should in no case suffer.
Yes, a man loves with his eyes, and this fact is not as bad as it seems. Be that as it may, women are also guided by some criteria when choosing a man. For example, the ability to support a family is an important condition when choosing them. The degree of a man's well-being determines the degree of a woman's success, because whatever one may say, if a woman managed to get a wealthy man, then she was pretty good for this.
The criteria for choosing a partner for girls and guys are different from each other, but they are unchanged, and this is a fact.
But back to the views of men on what a woman should be. In addition to beauty, her mind is also important. Of great importance for a man is the ability of his beloved to be able to maintain any conversation with his friends or parents, without "throwing out" at the same time some ridiculous stupidity.
Another factor that determines the dignity of a woman in men's eyes is the ability to create and maintain order in the house. And even if a woman does not work (after all, doing household chores is not so easy, and it takes a lot of time), she must provide a cozy atmosphere, a delicious dinner and a joyful meeting in the house where the man comes. After all, it is the man who is the main source of finances in the family, and by providing home comfort for him, the woman, thereby, helps him to forget about household chores and not be distracted from work issues - issues that bring money. Thus, she helps him earn more, even without earning it herself. Moreover, keeping order in the house of women is much better.
Next, we will focus on childcare. And again the woman is the main figure in this process. Firstly, children are always more attached to their mother, secondly, women cope better with these responsibilities, and thirdly, a man, immersed in work and making money, simply will not find time for this. Of course, the husband is also obliged to take part in raising the child, but most of the burden falls on women's shoulders, because this is what nature has in mind: the male is the breadwinner, the female is a caring mother.
Both children and household chores take a lot of time and require a lot of effort, you can't say anything here. Therefore, a woman, naturally, does not have enough time to build a career. This should be done by a man. Of course, a woman is not obliged to sit within four walls all her life without developing in any way, without communicating with anyone and dying of boredom. She can find herself an easy job just “for the soul”, which will not take much time, or she can continue to study, attending various trainings and courses. In general, a woman should have some hobbies that will prevent her from becoming uninteresting, unattractive and boring.
Now let's talk about the female character. Any man will prefer a gentle, meek, balanced woman to a rude, harsh, aggressive woman. After all, it is important for a man to be the head of the family, the opposite option will never suit him. And it’s no secret that an intelligent woman will always achieve her goal, but not by violent methods, “drinking” her husband on every occasion, but with the help of affection and tenderness, so much so that the man will also consider his decision as the result of his own initiative ... In this case, everyone is happy.
Based on all of the above, we can conclude: the situation in the family depends on which side to look at it from.
A woman may not bring money to her family, but at the same time helping her husband earn more, being patient and affectionate to him, taking care of home comfort and raising children.
In order for the relationship between a man and a woman to be built on a solid foundation, it is necessary to understand the peculiarities of male psychology and how it differs from female psychology. The psychological type of the opposite sexes was formed not only by genetic differences, but also by socio-historical aspects. Differences begin in different approaches to organizing the thinking process. Men are characterized by a logical, rational approach, the ability to think abstractly and spatially. Women are more emotional, they are guided by intuition in their decisions, they think concretely.
Based on this, different interests appear between them. For a man, career, dominance and rivalry with other representatives of the stronger sex are in the first place. The main personality traits of men are the prevalence of aggressiveness, motivation to achieve the set goal. The role of a woman, determined by nature, as the successor of the clan, the keeper of the family hearth, has formed a type that puts family, children, harmonious relations with family and friends at the forefront.
In a relationship with a woman, a man wants honesty and concreteness, building calm and simple relationships. An active, self-sufficient woman who plays by her own rules always appeals to a man. In psychology men in a relationship with a woman the process of conquest is important, therefore maintaining interest in a woman is a guarantee of a strong relationship. The difference in male psychology is that men are too straightforward and do not perceive emotional implications.
Male psychology changes with age. If for a twenty-year-old guy it is enough to have an interesting beautiful girl next to him, then a 30-year-old already knows his role as responsible for the family in material and spiritual terms. Compared to the weaker sex, the stronger half of humanity is less dependent on the opinions of others. Therefore, they are purposeful, capable of making serious volitional decisions. In critical situations, men with an analytical mind are able to quickly mobilize and instantly respond to a change in the situation.
From a man, a woman expects solidity, reliability and responsibility for her actions. The criteria for choosing life companions, based on the characteristics of male psychology, are:
1. Ability to empathize, support in any life situation. The more often a man is praised for the help provided or the "good deed" he has done, the more he appreciates his soul mate;
2. Loyalty and honesty in relationships;
3. Sex appeal, well-groomed healthy look;
4. Smooth, not scandalous, having a sense of humor.
Most men by their nature tend to take a leading position in the family. Striving for domination in the family, a woman runs the risk of losing her man, who ceases to see in a woman a weak side in need of protection. Women should take into account that a man expresses his feelings in a different way, not so openly and emotionally. In any case, it should be taken into account that each man is an individual person. The peculiarities of his character can only be unraveled with sincere attention.