Why a man is constantly lying to a woman psychology. The husband is constantly lying: how to fix the situation and save the marriage. Drastic measures, how to wean a husband from lying

When it comes to the art of lying, everyone immediately thinks of women. But if you remember those who lie the most, men come to mind.

What is this stereotype and does it have more than prejudice under it?

Why do men lie

Each of us has our own reasons for lying. It all depends on the situation, the prevailing circumstances, and even on the outlook of the liar.

The guy lies to seem better than he really is. He can embellish his financial position or current position.

By inventing a story about his cool car, a man will quickly arouse interest in the opposite sex.

But such tales are told not only to impress the girl, but also for a perfectly acceptable purpose. Having lied, the guy becomes more confident in his own abilities, and therefore stops stuttering and getting nervous during a conversation.

There are liars among both genders, but it is much more important for men to feel confident in themselves, which is why they acquired the fame of deceivers.

There are many reasons why guys lie. Most often they want to improve the situation and achieve a certain goal using dishonest methods ...

The guy will lie about a meeting at work, without telling his girlfriend that he actually spent the evening with friends, watching football and drinking beer.

The reason for lying is simple - unwillingness to quarrel or feel guilty, because he is well aware that he did wrong. Men often think that lying is the lesser of evils. They do not understand that lies are always worse than the truth.

How to understand that a man is lying?

How to understand that a man is lying? Take advantage of what psychology and psychophysiology gave us. These sciences study the physical reactions of the human body.

Lying requires mental and emotional efforts from us, precisely because it becomes much easier to understand that he is lying thanks to the following body reactions:

• The guy doesn't make eye contact. His gaze runs around the surrounding space, but does not stop at the interlocutor.
• The liar sweats. During a conversation, a man has perspiration on his forehead, temples and above the upper lip, even if he is in a cool room or outdoors.
• His breathing quickens. The interlocutor breathes as if he ran a marathon before the conversation.
• There are pauses in the conversation. Lies need to be thought out in advance, and there are hiccups during improvisation.
• The timbre, tone of voice, and the speed of speech are slightly changed.

In the question of how to determine a lie, attentiveness and the degree of closeness with a person are important. If a woman knows the interlocutor well, it will not be difficult for her to guess when he will begin to lie.

Moreover, the female eye more sharply distinguishes lies: perhaps also because the fair sex has better developed intuition.

Each person has their own symptoms that indicate a lie. Some rub their earlobes, others scratch an eyebrow, others sniff all the time.

The question of how to find out that a man is lying is actually not so important. It is much more important to understand the reason for this behavior and to do everything in order to hear only the truth in the future.

What to do if a man is lying

Every woman of the fairer sex faced male lies. It is especially offensive when a loved one - a father, brother or husband - tells a lie.

Forums are full of topics and queries in the spirit of “what to do if the husband is lying”. Someone advises not to pay attention and not attach importance, others, in contrast, advise to get a divorce, because life with a deceiver is impossible.

The truth lies somewhere in between. If a guy is lying, you can't turn a blind eye to it or just shout. Need to talk.

Say that you know about his lies, ask why he did not tell you the truth. Don't go overboard with notation.

The man himself knows that he did wrong. If he resorted to lies, then he saw a way out of the situation in his act.

A guy may believe he has hidden the truth with the best of intentions. In this case, you can understand that he is not lying for the sake of evil, and look at the offense from a different angle.

Although a lie for the good is not as terrible as a selfish deception - even the ugliest truth is better than any lie.

Over time, lies emerges and becomes a reason for scandals and resentments. And the truth is what we live with and must come to terms with.

Tell the man that you are offended by the very fact of his lies. It’s not so bad that he spent Friday evening with friends, as that he didn’t tell the truth and didn’t live up to your trust.

The reasons why guys lie are too many to list. It is important to understand something else: a man will not stop lying to his woman if he is afraid of being judged or misunderstood.

If a man is lying to you, think about it: are you too categorical in communicating with him, do you suppress his desires and feelings, do you start a terrible scandal when a man confesses his "sins"?

If the answer is "yes" - the man cannot be blamed for lying. How can he be honest with you if you do not accept his honesty?

That is why you should not treat a man who lied too harshly. Better try to convince him that lying is not the best way out of any situation, because the secret always becomes apparent.

Why do men lie?

When it turns out that the husband is telling a lie, all trust in him disappears and the other half begins to subject him to constant checks, not only in actions, but also in words. Below you will find different situations that can say that your husband is lying and advice on how to deal with them.

Confidence- This is a very important component in marriage, and first you need to understand what prompts your significant other to lie. It so happens that lying is an integral part of a man's character and then this fact does not greatly affect the trust in the family, but simply gives rise to irritability.

There are times when the husband is lying because he has a woman on the side, that is mistresses... In such a situation, it is better to speak frankly, although such a conversation is not easy, but a necessary undertaking. If the betrayal is proven by facts, but with all this, the husband is not recognized, in this case, you need to decide how to behave further. There are two options for what to do, stay with him and endure a lie, or file for divorce.

There are many cases when a man does not have the courage to admit lies... He prefers to do something secretly without causing conflict situations. Often such a husband lies on trifles, and anger is born from the very fact of lying, because it is unpleasant to be deceived. Of course, when a man avoids conflicts in this way, it is very angry and annoying. But you need to know that such behavior is not only part of the character, but also a reaction to the wife's behavior when her husband is accused of lying. The wife's reaction can be very negative and harsh, which the liar cannot tolerate.

It is common for a woman to interrogate herself provokes a man to cheat, for example: where have you been? why so late? who called? etc.

Such behavior is laid in a man due to the fact that it is impossible to behave differently with a woman. Better a sweet lie than a bitter one, the truth. After all, not all men have enough different virtues that a woman should like. Thus, he is trying to impress her, well, and a woman needs to ride beautifully over her ears and she will believe, because such is their nature, and sometimes she herself does not know what she needs, a woman does not seek confirmation by facts, but blindly believes the words.

The first thing to do is to change yourself and your attitude towards your husband's actions. If he is lying that he was at work, but in fact was with friends, you need to accept his comrades. After all, even before the wedding, they were and sitting with them is part of his life. This must be measured.

1. In communicating with him, interrogations with partiality must be excluded. After all, if every evening to elicit from the husband his actions during the day, then for him the wife immediately becomes a strict mother and there is a desire to hide his actions.
2. Try to start trusting your husband. If it seems that you cannot trust him, put yourself in his place, because he is lying precisely because he does not know whether it is possible to trust his wife. If you develop mutual trust in the family, then the lie will disappear by itself.
3. It is worth considering whether all lies are evil? After all, there are times when a woman resorts to various female tricks and tricks, and this is also a deception, to some extent.

So, build your relationship with your loved one not on lies, but on the truth. Change yourself and him for the better. Be happily married for many years. And don't forget that a successful marriage is also a lot of work.

It is not easy: few, no matter what the lie is associated with, are able to forgive such an act of a partner. Those who decide not to hack off the shoulder, but first to understand the situation, often get stuck in the analysis, in fact, often turns into self-digging, encouraged by all kinds of women's magazines. "What did I do wrong that he lied to me?" Is a popular but incorrect position.

In fact, you need to start by analyzing the reasons why most men deceive their partners: they will show you the direction in which to move. Here is some of them.

Why men lie: possible options

He hasn't matured yet. Yes, unfortunately, it also happens: the brave representatives of the stronger sex sometimes lie because they did not have time to mature and grow up. Fearing punishment, in childhood, many of us resorted to this, perhaps not the most honest, but nevertheless effective way to get away from a well-deserved thrashing. Correct legend - and you are free, like a mouse in flight.

With age, the understanding that parents all childhood tried to teach us, as a rule, still comes: somehow we ourselves finally establish for ourselves what is good and what is bad, what needs to be answered, and what is not our zone responsibility. Unfortunately, this is not the case with everyone: not everyone succeeds in growing up for one reason or another. A teenager in a man's body is not the rarest phenomenon, and it’s not surprising that such a person uses lies, no: this is a typical youthful trick!

He is so used to it because he is so comfortable. Terry selfishness is another possible reason that your man is lying recklessly. With the help of lies, your partner once learned to solve problems, he obviously liked it, and he has not looked for a new way since then. And despite the fact that it is possible to understand such logic (why, in the end, change something if everything is so good?), You should not assume that lying will always bring the expected results without consequences. Those who lie in defense of their own interests, as a rule, do not know how to think one step ahead.

As a rule, such a liar-egoist does not think about the possible consequences: now he has achieved what he wants, and okay. The liar does not think that such an approach to relations worsens them: often because he cannot imagine such an outcome.

How to understand that a man is lying to you: the only sign that betrays everyone

Of course, there are many more reasons why men lie than we have already listed: it can be either a manifestation of selfishness or an unwillingness to obey the existing rules in a relationship, a desire to hide an affair or a "leftist" - it is perhaps impossible to list everything.

But how can you figure out a liar? It's good if your man is an inexperienced liar, and his ears and nose turn red at once, as if in a book, and his voice begins to tremble: it will not be difficult to expose such a thing. What if you got an experienced cheat? Do not worry: it can also be taken out to clean water. There is a single, common sign for all that will help expose the liar.

Changed behavior. Observing and often noticing even the simplest habits of your man can help in your search for the truth: no matter how experienced your alleged liar is, his behavior, tone of voice, or even manner of sitting can give him away if he decides to lie. But for this, again, you need to have a certain "model" of behavior: in order to understand whether a man is lying or not, it is desirable to compare his current behavior with something. Agree that it's hard to notice changed behavior if you don't give your husband even a fraction of your attention.

As you can see, the representatives of the stronger sex, just like the ladies, have a lot of reasons for lying in a relationship: some in this way shy away from responsibilities that do not suit them, others lie because they experience stress, and others, no matter how banal, simply try hide a short-term "leftist" or a real long-term affair. Perhaps, the only thing left to do with lies in relationships is to come to terms: as you can see, even those who have no thoughts to cheat on their partner or somehow offend him are lying. Lying has somehow become a part of our life, and it is no longer so easy to drive it away.

However, it is not necessary to do this: even when it comes to relationships, she will find a place. Earlier, we talked about how lying can help you strengthen relationships: we hope that the material will be useful to you.

Tell us what you think about this: what other reasons do you think men lie in relationships? Is it worth worrying about this, or not? Why?

August 16, 2015

There is hardly a person in the world who has not cheated. Think of yourself or your friends who, after being late for school, came up with a thousand reasons and excuses. Or your parents, to whom you told that you were out with friends, but in fact it was a boyfriend. Yes indeed everyone lied. But what about the fact that a loved one deceived you? It is to this question that we will give the answer.

It really depends on the situation. There are situations when a guy is hard to judge for a lie. Let's say he went to the store to choose a gift for you, and you call. As a result, in order for the surprise to remain a surprise, he has to lie. A pregnant wife often asks her husband if she is beautiful. And a loving husband, despite all the sizes that spoil the figure of his beloved, says that there is no change and she is beautiful as before. But all this is deception. However, for some reason we perceive it well. What's the secret? First, let's figure out what does the word "lie" mean?

A lie is a statement that does not correspond to the truth and is deliberately expressed in this form.

That is, if a person deceives and does not realize his guilt, then it turns out that he is not lying.

Yes, I agree that men lie more than women. And it's not good to lie. But by his masculine nature, a guy can resort to it. For example, in Buddhism there are 3 holy lies that can be used according to their religion:

1. To preserve the family

2. To maintain friendship

3. To keep the peace

And in principle, it’s hard to disagree. We even have such a concept - a lie for the good. But all the same, it is better not to go to the point of lying. Because this is fog and the more a person lies, the more he sinks into it. And over time, he himself no longer knows where the truth is and where it is not.

And so now, understanding what a lie is and that everything depends on the situation, let's move on to solving our problem. The reason that a man is lying is always the fear of responding for his act and being punished. Indeed, the guy is often afraid to take part in another scandal, so he decides to cheat. Most likely, he cannot overcome some negative qualities that you do not like about him and tries to keep silent about them. This leads to insincerity and closeness of the person. Therefore, if you cannot put up with a lie, then you need to fight it.

Consider the instruction for wise girls on what to do if a guy cheated:

1. Analyze what the lie is and how it can be caused. If, for example, a guy smokes, but told you that he does not smoke. Then most likely he cannot overcome addiction and tries not to upset you. Also, for example, you are waiting for a guy at home, and he said that he was late from work. In fact, he was dating a friend. That lie is caused by the fact that the guy is afraid to admit it to you, since you will scold him. And here the reason is excessive freedom of action on his part or on your part of depriving him of time to communicate with a friend.

2. Make decisions for yourself. You must understand what outcome would be acceptable for you. But do not forget that in a relationship, the main skill is to find compromises. That is, the solution should suit two. For example, he made time for a friend, but you don’t. Then you should invite your loved one to meet all three and spend an interesting time together. Or reconsider your relationship and give your chosen one more free time. Thus, you will also get free time that you can spend on your hobbies.

3. Straight Talk. Since you have made decisions for yourself, you can start the conversation itself. In this conversation, confidently and decisively tell your loved one that you have recorded a lie on his part. Explain exactly what the lie itself is. In the course of the conversation, try to confirm your words with facts so that the guy does not have the opportunity to manipulate and evade an answer. And so calmly and confidently you proved the existence of a lie on his part.

4. Lying spoils the relationship. Now explain to your chosen one that lying does not lead to anything good. After a little deception, there is a greater deception. And over time, you will stop understanding each other and be sincere altogether. And since you together do not want to allow this, then invite him to first apologize for his act, if he still has not done it. And then let him offer his solution to the problem.

5. Compromise and worthy solution. Most likely, the guy will start promising that this will not happen again. Then offer him your solution that will satisfy both. By doing so, in his eyes, you will raise your self-esteem, and in the future he is unlikely to want to lie. After all, it is better to decide everything amicably with you. In rare cases, he will offer a solution that does not satisfy you. Then you need to remind him of his lies and say that he has no right to demand so much. Then offer your compromise.

This instruction will help you to raise your authority in the eyes of a man. You are also beautiful and confident and will do your best to prevent it from happening in the future. The main thing is to try never to make a row about this. Since welding will not lead to a solution to your problem, but rather, on the contrary, will distance you from each other.

Many women find that they can easily figure out when a man is lying. That it is easy for them to understand the deception of men and see through them. Many lovely ladies think that when a man is lying, he begins to play up, hide his eyes, answer with a delay and without details, etc.

Indeed, with the help of such signs, you can catch quite a lot of little things where a man is lying. There he left a stash somewhere for himself, somewhere he smoked (although he said he had quit), there he was late for a meeting and was lying in his defense.

After all, this is a useful skill to distinguish between such lies of men? Useful, of course.

But I repeat - these are still useful, but little things.

The main thing is how a man, in principle, treats a woman, whether he respects her or not, loves or dislikes her, family life goes downhill, or is it just temporary difficulties, etc.

Here it is important and necessary to distinguish between lies and male deception. First of all, of course, his lies to you. Secondly, your lies to yourself. (It happens that girls clearly exaggerate what in fact does not exist).

At the end of the article, I will write what to do with male deception. And now there are signs that a man is time and deceives a woman.

The first and main sign of a lie is that a man says one thing, but does something completely different. Very often this happens and very often women do not pay attention to the strong discrepancy between a man's words (by what he promises a girl or a woman) with his real deeds and actions.

Example 1. Beginning of meetings.

The man says that he really likes the girl, writes her messages with text about how beautiful she is, how bored he is, etc.

But in reality, his actions are as follows:

- is constantly late for dates,

- dates on his initiative are constantly postponed under various pretexts (busy, etc.),

- if you need some kind of small help (just a little to start a relationship), then the man immediately becomes very busy or he "suddenly" gets sick.

In these examples, you can immediately see the gap between what the man says (love, like) and what he really does. But in reality, by his actions, he shows that the girl is practically indifferent to him. And the man lies to her and lies.

Example 2. Periodic meetings.

Here, too, there are standard cases of lies. And even if you did not notice them in the man's facial expressions, they can be relatively easily identified due to the discrepancy between the man's words and his actions.

What are these examples?

- A man says he loves, but in reality a man has a wife and children with whom he lives.

That is, the girl, in fact, becomes a mistress. A man, of course, understands that the role of a mistress is wretched, unpromising, often leads to a breakdown in a woman's personal life (if it drags on for 10 years) and often tries to compensate his mistress for the shortcomings of her role. That is, she says any words that a woman wants to hear. Gives gifts. Supports her in some difficult situations, etc.

You just need to understand that all this is a lie (with rare exceptions). But in reality, such a woman for a man is nothing more than entertainment from a boring family life, etc. Therefore, all the stories that he “cannot divorce a terrible wife, since she threatens to take the children away” are nothing more than fairy tales for mistresses.

Example 3. A man and a woman live together.

A man says he loves a woman, etc.

In reality, the result of this stage of the relationship should be a marriage proposal, marriage, children, etc. The term is approximately 6-15 months from the date of periodic meetings.

But the man himself does not make such an offer. And at some point, the woman begins to talk about marriage herself and the man begins to say something like that:

- what's the difference there is a stamp in the passport or not,

- we already love each other,

- why such expenses for a wedding, when they can buy something, for example an apartment. (and usually no one buys an apartment either)

Even a loving man is usually not very happy about the time to get married. But if he loves a woman, appreciates her, then usually he understands that he needs to either get married or the woman will simply leave.

So let's summarize a little.

Lies are, in fact, and there are cases when the words of a man and his deeds differ very much.(And he knows about it)

In the relationship between a man and a woman, there are typical situations of a man's lies. When a man achieves a woman, he often lies that he loves her. (otherwise she won't get sex)

When he does not want to go into conflict, he also often lies.

When he doesn't want to marry, he lies again.

There are probably a couple of dozen typical cases when a man is lying.

What if you find that the man is lying?

It depends on the reason for the lie.

The first reason is that a woman is trying to put too much pressure on a man, too openly manipulate, too early to take the initiative.

I have written about this many times. For example, a woman after the first acquaintances may decide that she needs to meet and call up every day. The man is still ready to do it 2-3 times a week.

Maybe a woman is trying to give advice to a man on how to act at work, with friends, with relatives, but the man considers this (at least for now) not her business.

Then it is obvious that a woman needs to stop putting pressure on a man, stop taking initiative, stop meddling in those affairs of a man that, in fact, do not concern her.

The second reason for lying is that a man does not like a woman or does not care at all.

At some point, a man may have moved a relationship with a woman, even was in love. But then he stopped liking the woman.

Maybe he got sober.

Maybe at some point he realized that he would not "pull" this woman financially or by strength of character.

Maybe he began to communicate with the woman closer, and it became clear to him that they "did not agree in character."

And here, rarely any of the men directly tells a woman that everything, he has ceased to like her and he does not want to see her.

Usually a man begins to lie a little, sabotage, etc., in order to gradually reduce the relationship to nothing.

After all, even though he decided to part with a woman, he is usually not indifferent to her at all. He doesn't want to hurt her and wants to make the separation as painless as possible for the woman and him.

That is also a lie. Meetings are becoming less and less frequent. (We are talking about a permanent relationship. If there are 1-2 dates, then it is tougher and faster). More and more often the man is busy. More and more often cannot meet. Even if they do, the meetings go by faster and faster, and so on.

Lies are manifested in various pretexts about why he cannot meet or call. (Forgotten, busy, etc.)

If the reason for the man's lies is that he stopped liking the woman, then it is obvious that you just need to stop dating him.
The point of dating? Just stretch out the breakup time? Waste time, self esteem?

There is no sense, of course.

The third reason for lying is that a man has a psychopathic character..

They lie a lot and for no reason. It's better not to date such men. I described in detail about such men in my book - in this book I described in detail both about manipulators and about psychopaths and about other categories of men who are not suitable for relationships.

So, a man is lying and not as rarely as it seems. The main technique for identifying lies is to notice the discrepancy between the actions and words of a man. If he says one word, and the actions speak of another, then you need to trust the actions more. Rather, the lack of action on his part.

And if a man lies a lot, then this is bad. You need to either reconsider your behavior or, as an option, part with a man. For more information on how to identify male lies and what to do about it, you can discuss with me at

Best regards, Rashid Kirranov.