The list of these phrases can be continued. For centuries, in the subconscious of women and girls, the assertion was laid that a real woman is comfortable woman. As a result, we think in stencils and ready-made templates.

For a husband to earn more, you need to stop arguing with him and feed him. And now the wife does not argue (but chokes inside with all the millions of words and arguments), she cooks with all her might. And there is no result! All because we are trying to become comfortable. And in this place we refuse ourselves, we suppress our features, we destroy ourselves from the inside, we become not interesting either to ourselves or to a man.

But a real woman is uncomfortable.

She knows what she wants and is not afraid to ask. She has a feeling dignity and does not sell itself. She hears herself, and it is difficult for her to impose something against her will. She sees the meaning of life and is not ready to give it up.

And as a result - inconvenient. It cannot be predicted, crushed under oneself, it will not work and just be used.

Much more convenient in everyday life is the one that drags everything on itself, even if it is not asked about it.

Or one that is easy to drag into bed, while not taking responsibility for it, but only promising something - or even promising nothing. But can you really love her?

A woman chooses one path out of two possible - either to be comfortable or to be herself. And here is a summary of those things that can be learned by going different ways:

1. To be yourself, you need to learn to listen to your heart - and follow it.
2. To be comfortable, you need to listen to the opinion of everyone around and adapt to it in every possible way, even if you don’t want to.
3. To be yourself, you need to learn to desire and accept what you want, to give and receive love.
4. To be comfortable, you need to learn to give everything and nothing and never ask.
5. To be yourself - you need to reveal the potential that is already inside you.
6. To be comfortable, it is enough to do what is accepted and right. Even if it is contrary to your own nature.
7. To be yourself, you need to be able to refuse. Politely, carefully, but saying “no” to everything that does not make you happier. Deny people, activities, food.
8. To be yourself, you need to sometimes - and even often - go against the current. To become a black sheep, to seem outdated or strange to someone.
9. To be comfortable, you can always do what everyone else is doing.

But why, in the end, do we become those stereotyped women who are often not happy in relationships? Why do we strive so hard to become real, but nothing comes out over and over again? Answer: there are reasons and we have given them to you below:

1. Education.

Parenting is a whole process that lasts from birth to late adolescence.

Sometimes this process is delayed when parents do not want to let go of their child and recognize him as an adult.

But the essence is the same: most parents of any living child are trying to make it comfortable.

To walk in formation, eat what they give, not stand out and not argue, obey unconditionally, not dishonor, sleep on schedule. In return, the child receives "love" - ​​affection, attention, encouragement, contact. And he absorbs that only the “comfortable” receive love. Therefore, love must be earned by your comfortable behavior. As a result, we absorb the belief that love is something that needs to be earned.

That there is no reason to love us just like that, and no one will do this. Do you want love? Get an A, mop the floor, listen.

Then we start believing in it. And we think that if in the family we drag everything on ourselves, we will definitely be loved for it.

As a result, we come to great disappointment when we find out that in parental family we were loved for some certain qualities and actions, but our partner is completely different and this is not a coincidence that leads to the collapse of our relationship.

Our consciousness turns out to be so inflexible in order to adapt to the changed requirements that we begin to suffer and look for a way out, which lies precisely in childhood.

The way out is to learn to change your beliefs about love and receive it in new ways. This is time-consuming work that should be done together with a psychologist or psychotherapist.

2. Clothing is a reflection of the woman herself.

First step in little betrayal ourselves is how we dress.

We refuse beautiful dresses which most of us like more than jeans. Because dresses force us to treat ourselves and our appearance differently, they require us to think about hairstyles and shoes. Dresses are addictive, and it takes more money. Dresses need more care, they need to be careful. Inconvenient, right?

But dresses are about how we can express ourselves differently and how we can relate to ourselves. With respect, care and concern. What we wear reflects our condition and how we treat our clothes also reflects our attitude towards ourselves and our body. The way we now feel about clothes is the result of how we have been taught to treat ourselves.

It's very important to do right choice. And if long years you are already going the wrong way, find the courage to admit it - and turn in the other direction.

You don't have to be comfortable. You need to become yourself.

Be real woman(femininity lessons)

1. Feminine manners

Feminine manners are movements female body, tread, conversation, gestures, the sound of a voice, facial expressions and laughter of a woman. Feminine manners attract a man because they differ sharply from masculine manners, which combine strength and firmness.
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