How to bring a guy back to yourself. Do you want to know more about men and the true motives of their behavior? If he doesn't want

22.05.2019

How to get a guy back after breaking up: 3 reasons to do it and 3 not to do it + 5 important steps + 7 main mistakes.

Not everyone loves drama in relationships (violent quarrels, partings, reconciliation). And many people know that such passions-muzzles rarely lead to the construction of a strong family.

Love should be joyful and enjoyable, not a constant source of stress. And, if the relationship did not go well, eventually leading to a breakup, then it is better to let go of your ex-soul mate and focus on finding a new love.

Alas, in real life, things don't always go according to plan.

Many girls think how to get a guy back after breaking up for various reasons: great love, guilt, fear of loneliness.

This is not an easy task, and before embarking on it, consider whether you are ready to make some sacrifices and trample your pride. And also think whether the skin is worth the candle, because no one guarantees you a positive result.

When should you return your boyfriend after breaking up and when shouldn't you?

You don't always have to try to get a guy back. Yes, there are times when this is really appropriate, but sometimes it is better to accept your fate, and throw all your strength into building new relationships.

1) When should you really try to get a guy back?

It cannot be so unequivocally asserted that a girl has no right to try to return the guy she broke up with. There are times when taking the initiative is a very smart and useful step.

Reasons for parting, in which it is not shameful to try to get the guy back:

Misunderstanding.

Anything can happen in a relationship, especially if both the guy and the girl have difficult characters.

If a banal misunderstanding has arisen between you (for example, it seemed to him that you were cheating on him, but this is not even in sight), then it is clear that you need to look for the key to reconciliation.

You and your behavior.

And I have repeatedly told you about this. But he also repeatedly pointed out traits or behaviors that he does not like about you. He asked to change, you didn’t react and he left you.

If you are ready to finally change and can demonstrate these changes to the guy, then it will be easy to bring him back.

Your initiative.

It was you who decided to end your relationship, and then, on reflection, realized that you made a mistake and want to return the guy back. This will be easy to achieve if the young man is not too proud and still loves you dearly.

2) When parting is a resolved issue and it will not work to return the guy ...

I am a little old-fashioned in the matter of relationships and am convinced that a girl should not run after a guy if he was the initiator of the breakup and bluntly said: "I don't need you." Attempts to return the relationship should be made only when mutual love has been preserved.

Forget about your boyfriend after breaking up and don't try to get him back if he:

Dumped you because of another girl.

If a young man left you to enter into a relationship with another girl, and you see that he is happy with her, trying to get him back in most cases will be pointless.

Now, if they break up, then it's another matter - you can try.

Bad person.

Love is love, but it is useful to look at the object of your lust without rose-colored glasses.

If the young man you are trying to bring back constantly humiliated you, offended you, if he has problems with the law, alcohol or drugs, then look at your parting as a deliverance, and not a tragedy.

Not once refused you.

Have you tried to return the guy once, twice, or three times, but got the same refusal?

Resign yourself and stop making fun of yourself. This relationship is over!

How to get a guy back after breaking up: steps to take

It's almost impossible to get a guy back if he doesn't want to. You only have a chance if he regrets that he lost you and is waiting for the signal: you are ready to accept it back.

Here are 5 steps to take if you want to bring a guy back:

Analyze the reasons for the breakup.

Your relationship collapsed for a reason, there was a specific reason (or several reasons).

If you understand what exactly was the cataclysm for separation, and eliminate it, it will be much easier to return the guy's love.

Take care of your appearance.

Even if you are a beautiful, well-groomed young lady, there is always room for improvement. If you still do not attend any workouts, then fix it immediately.

Sign up to the spa for a facial, relaxing massage, manicure, pedicure. After such a pleasant procedure, you will immediately feel better.

Change of image (for example, haircut and painting). Well, shopping for a pair of beautiful dresses and new shoes is the best cure for melancholy.

Remain completely calm when meeting.

If you study or work together, or for some other reason have to constantly intersect, do not give out your excitement, embarrassment and pain. And, of course, you don't need to look at him from a beaten dog.

Behave calmly, with restraint, affable, a little indifferent. Also, confuse the guy with a radiant smile. This will make the boy think about whether he acted wisely in parting with you.

Build friendships with your ex-lover.

Those stupid girls who, parting with a young man, break all ties with him. You can be friends with your ex.

And with the ex you want to return, you need to be friends. It is much easier to turn from a friend into a loved one than from an enemy.

Make him jealous.

The receiver is simple and not distinguished by novelty, but effective. If a young man still has feelings for you, he will definitely be jealous of you and will want to return himself.

If you remain indifferent, well, well, then you will know for sure that it is impossible to restore relations. Yes, and take a look at the young man with whom they tried to make the ex jealous. Maybe he's not that bad?

How to get your boyfriend back: the main mistakes girls make after breaking up

There are often cases when girls had every chance to return a guy, but due to their own stupidity and committing unforgivable mistakes, they were left with nothing and only deepened the parting.

If you want to return a young man after a breakup, in no case should you:

Be humiliated.

All these crawling on my knees, pleading, tears look just disgusting.

Are these relationships so dear to you that you are ready to expose yourself to everyone's ridicule and allow you to wipe your feet? Fu, what are these obscene tendencies towards emotional BDSM?

Understand that sooner or later any lie will be declassified, so if you are going to return your loved one, fantasizing about your pregnancy, or writing some other ridiculous stories, then you should not even start.

It won't end well!

Threaten.

Moreover, it doesn't matter what exactly you threaten him with (to kill yourself, to rip out all the patches of his new shmare, to tell everyone that he has only 7 centimeters) there will be no sense from this.

The guy will not only not return to you, but he will also feel disgust for such an abnormal girl.

Promise what you can't fulfill.

It now seems to you that you are ready for absolutely anything just to return love. Once the ecstasy is over, you will deeply regret your words.

If you are sick of threesomes, free relationships, his friends-drunks and so on, then you don't need to promise to love all this when he returns ...

All the same, you can't, you just lose a lot of nerves and time.

To impose.

There are such stuffy Velcro girls, which are almost impossible to get rid of. They will watch for you, ask you about SMS and letters, arrange "random" meetings, offer themselves in all respects.

It is almost impossible to get through to them with explanations about the uselessness of such attempts, which is why the guys go to extreme measures, for example, they humiliate them in public.

Do you want to experience this "pleasure"? Then keep pushing.

Make a scandal.

All these showdowns in the style of bazaar women are not needed by anyone and are not interesting, even to you (you will understand this if you take a sober look at the situation).

Well, stop brawling in public and blaming the guy for that. Keep at least the respect of the young man, if not love.

Doing stupid things.

As emotional creatures, we often do things that we later regret. Don't do anything until you are in control of your emotions.

It's one thing to throw away his gifts and burn shared photos after parting (it's stupid and unpleasant, but you can survive), and quite another is to eat handfuls of pills, because you don't see well.

on how to get your ex-boyfriend back:

Return the guy after breaking up or still let go?

Despite all the advice you've heard from me, I want to ask you again: weigh the pros and cons before trying to get the guy back. Sometimes you just need to step on the throat of your feelings and let go of the situation.

At the institute, I was friends with Oksana. For a year she met with a boy from our faculty, but 2 years older. They had some strange relationship: she was madly in love, and he did not interfere with her doing it.

And then came the day that was supposed to come: Yura left Oksana, left for another girl. A classmate grieved, we tried to console her. After crying for 3 days, the girl decided to return Yura. Her friends, including myself, tried to dissuade her as best they could, realizing that this was a disastrous business and that all that Oksana would achieve would make herself a laughing stock.

The persecution continued for 2 months. There was everything: declarations of love, and surprises, and gifts, and requests, and attempts to arouse jealousy.

It is worth saying that in this story Yura showed an unusual sensitivity and tact - he delicately persuaded Oksana to leave him alone, claimed that he was happy in a new relationship, that everything between them ended long ago, etc.

The friend neither to his, nor to our words, nor to the voice of reason did not listen. This story ended sadly for Oksana. She once again tried to invite the ex-beloved somewhere to restore love, but chose the wrong moment.

Yuri was somewhat upset and angry, so he yelled at the entire university corridor: “Leave me finally alone !!! I told you 100 times that I don't need you, that I have another, that I will not return to you !!! Get off, you idiot, and don't come near me anymore !!! "

Of course, the guy is wrong that he decided to speak out in such an aggressive manner. But the blame for such a shame lies entirely with Oksana: in her attempts to return Yuri, she played too much. She did not even try to understand: nothing would come of it and this relationship really ended.

If you think how to get a guy back after breaking up, once again carefully read Oksana's story so as not to find yourself in the same situation.

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Often there are cases when girls break up with their boyfriends, but later they want to return them.

This situation is far from the easiest, but there are still chances that the guy will actually return to you.

If you're looking to get your ex-boyfriend back, a few tips can help.

1. You need to decide for yourself whether you really want to renew a relationship that has already ended. To do this, you should weigh all the positive and negative aspects of your relationship, because when the relationship is resumed, they can all return. And if you broke up due to some reason, no one can guarantee that this reason will not return in the future.

2. Learn to manage your emotions. For the people around you, you should always be cheerful and cheerful, and if you really want to cry, then you need to do this only when no one is around.

You should not tell your friends and acquaintances that at the moment you are heartbroken, because otherwise the ex will find out about it. If you happen to bump into him, say hello to him, keep up a general conversation, and do not forget to wish him goodbye.

3. You don't have to be intrusive. Whatever you do, however, it is absolutely impossible to bombard your ex with messages on social networks and SMS. Also, you should not beg the young man to come back to you. With this kind of attack, he will simply develop a feeling of fatigue, after which he will want to become invisible to you.

4. Become the girl you were before. If you are determined to bring your ex back, you need to do your best to improve your image. You need to remember the girl you were at the time of your acquaintance.

You need to remember what your young man turned his attention to, as well as what external qualities and character traits were attractive to him. Indeed, it often happens that the reason for parting is that such positive aspects simply begin to fade into the background.

That is why you need to return yourself to who you were before. If possible, try to improve yourself in some way, and then remind your ex about why he fell in love with you once. If everything works out, your chosen one will fall in love with you again, after which he will begin to ask for a second chance in your relationship.

5. Be happy. Find what makes you happy. Go with your friends to all kinds of parties, have fun. You also don't need to give up your family. Spend as much time with her as possible.

If your ex-boyfriend sees that you are quite happy without him, the chances of him coming back will increase significantly. It is also possible that the young man will want to return to you in order to become a part of your life again when he notices the changes that have occurred in your life.

6. Play on his feelings of jealousy. By nature, men are owners. Even if the relationship ends, they will protect and guard what belonged to them. If your lover's feelings are still warm, he will be jealous for any reason. And if this is true, such behavior is a sign that not all is lost.

7. Tell him something nice. In the event that the reason for your breakup was another young man, you will again have to prove loyalty and love to your former boyfriend. In this case, you need to sincerely show that you really sympathize with him very much, realize that you hurt him, but no matter what happens, you have always loved him.

8. Become friends. If you want to be together again, try to be real friends. Visit your mutual friends together, discuss various topics that interest both of you, and do your favorite activities.

You can also remind your loved one of the moments from the past together, when you were really great together. With a high degree of probability, over time, a guy will want to become something more than just a friend.

It is interesting!

Correct correspondence with the guy. We discovered the secret - what and how to write to a guy to make him interested in you.

Many were interested video on how to kiss tongue at the end . We recommend that you also look to make kissing passionate more cool.

If you feel very bad and you are in a bad depressive state, it will help you a lot. There are several tricks there to improve your mood.

You probably came here to find out how to get your boyfriend back? You have come to the right place, and I can tell you something useful.

The strategy of returning the ex is a whole science, but I am quite capable of laying good and effective foundations in you. For most girls, this will be enough to achieve the goal.

Don't rush to ask questions in the comments. This article is not the only one on the site. First read the other articles from the heading ““. Most of the questions you want to ask right now have answers there. But if you don’t find such answers, ask. I try to answer everyone.

Let's get down to business! I know that you are now feeling unhappy, and I sincerely empathize with you. But there is one person in the world who has no right to feel sorry for himself, and this is ... you!

Note: From the very beginning, you need to understand - did the guy dump you or did you dump him? Because the method of "return" is significantly different. Girls often confuse these things, so before continuing reading, I advise you to distract yourself for a few minutes and read the article (the first article in another series - "Back to the guy"). If, after reading the mentioned article, you have doubts about who abandoned whom, read the entire series. If there is no doubt and you are sure that the guy dumped you - continue reading everything that is written below.

If you find it difficult to resist the urge to call him, try to focus on your main goal: To get him back to you. Try the mental exercises I talked about earlier. If you can maintain high motivation and stay focused on your goal at all times, it will be much easier.

Rule three: get yourself interested

This rule may seem like a bit of a strange tactic in the context of "get your ex-boyfriend back", but trust me, it is a very powerful method indeed!

Let me explain:

If you can find a new hobby or activity to shift your focus to, you will have less time to think about your ex and eat yourself up from the inside.

In addition, you will regain a sense of control over your own life, and you will experience new positive emotions.

These two factors are very valuable in achieving your goal: You will have more self-confidence (this is unambiguous), in addition, your ex will notice that you "got through" the breakup, or at least not so much for his care. For most men, this works like a red rag for a bull!

Well, that's all the basics. I hope you understand that it is very dangerous to act instinctively when you are trying to get your loved one back.

"What if I have already broken all these rules !?"

If you've read this far and thought: “… Oh! No! I broke all of these rules (or some of them). ” Do not despair! We are all human and we are all wrong.

As I said, it is quite natural after a breakup to strive to do exactly those things that should not be done. But this does not mean that the situation is hopeless. - Far from it! You may need a little more effort and time to fix the situation, but the chance to change the situation has not yet been lost and the serious prerequisites for success still remain.

It is now in your hands to continue to act blindly, or take matters into their own hands and follow a clear plan to get your ex-boyfriend back.

And now, to make it clear to you how it all works, I will give a "living example". I have a lot of such examples, but this one is my favorite, I would even say that it is "textbook".

Of course, it is impossible to 100% guarantee that this method of returning a guy will completely satisfy your situation, but I still recommend giving it a try. It will not be worse! But if you act instinctively, then defeat and additional suffering are certainly guaranteed to you!

An example of a guy returning. "Sofia and Mark"

My client Sophia and I performed this "operation" when her boyfriend, Mark, whom she had been dating for three years, unexpectedly broke up with her, because according to him:

"He needed personal space"
"He was not sure about his feelings for her."

The very next day after the breakup, Sofia saw Mark in the company of another girl. She was devastated because she loved Mark with all her heart and did not want to lose him!

Fortunately, Sofia was a psychology student, she knew something about male psychology, so she did not seek contacts with her former lover, which greatly facilitated my task. Then we did the following:

Instead of calling him, begging, begging, or scolding and insulting, Sofia simply let him go (temporarily).
She tried her best to do everything she could to keep Mark from realizing how much pain his departure had caused her.
And then ... She signed up for salsa lessons.

This may seem like an odd strategy, and of course Sofia had a hard time pushing herself to do it. But everything turned out just brilliantly:

Sofia received a strong impulse to improve her self-esteem (in the dance class, many guys showed her attention)
Dancing took her mind off Mark
She felt positive changes in her life, because this feeling always accompanies you if you start doing something new.
And most importantly: Mark learned about the salsa lessons (of course, we took care of that). And he began to be elementary jealous.

It's important to remember that guys are very good visualizers. When Mark found out that Sofia took up dancing, he immediately visualized it ... How she dances with handsome guys in close physical contact and, perhaps, she starts to like one of them ...

This is an example of "subtle" jealousy, and not caused intentionally. Sofia went to the dance without any intent, but only in order to occupy herself with something and increase her self-esteem. If you want to return the guy, in no case should you resort to attempts to evoke feelings of "tough" jealousy, and even more so, do it on purpose, ie. - start dating another man “for evil”. First, it won't have an impact on your boyfriend. And secondly, you will look stupid in the eyes of others, further emphasizing your "killed" state, because pretense and obvious demonstration will be visible to the naked eye, and thirdly, it is dishonorable and cruel towards your new partner who treats to you seriously.

After a while, Sophia received an SMS from Mark, in which he wrote that he made a mistake, and they should meet and talk. Of course, Sofia tortured him a little before taking him back.

These events took place over four years ago. Sofia and Mark are now husband and wife! (For more than 5 years, and he is still together - 06/20/2013)

All this may sound like a fairy tale, but I warned that the story is "textbook". At the same time, it is real. Naturally, for the majority, everything does not go so smoothly, and not all cases end with the return of the guy, as they say: "there is always a place for force majeure circumstances." But even if you do not manage to get the guy back, despite your best efforts, the chosen strategy will allow you to quickly and regain yourself to start a new and happy life.

FROM THE AUTHOR: My answers in the comments are the opinion of a private person and not a recommendation from a specialist. I try to answer everyone without exception, but unfortunately I physically do not have time to study long stories, analyze them, ask questions about them and then answer in detail, and I also do not have the opportunity to accompany your situations, because this requires a huge amount of free time, and I have very little of it.

In this regard, I very much ask you to ask specific questions on the topic of the article, do not try to use comments for correspondence or chat, and do not expect that I will advise in the comments.

Of course, you can ignore my request (which many do), but then be prepared for the fact that I will ignore yours. This is not a matter of principle, but exclusively of time and my physical capabilities. Don't be offended.

If you want to receive qualified help, please, contact for advice, and I will devote my time and knowledge to you with full dedication.

Best regards and hope for your understanding, Frederica

I have been planning for a long time and have long promised to write an article on how to get a guy back if he already has a different girlfriend. I apologize to everyone who waited for the release of this publication earlier, but the circumstances were such that I was able to publish it only now.

In the comments, the question was repeatedly asked in one form or another: "How to behave and how to act if a former boyfriend has a new girlfriend." Despite the fact that in my articles I touched on this topic, claiming that the “road map” for the return of the ex is generally the same regardless of whether he has a new girlfriend or not, questions continue to be asked, so I consider it necessary to clarify the situation.

Before starting the story, as usual, I want to warn you that the article describes a general case. If the title of the article exactly repeats the question that you are asking yourself mentally, this does not mean that the article itself is the answer to you personally, and tells you how to behave in your specific situation.

The presence of a new relationship with an ex-boyfriend generates additional risks, ranging from "what if he will be better with her than with me" to a possible quick wedding "with this ...". As a result of realizing these risks, the girl has a completely understandable, but completely irrational desire - to "prevent" by any means, and for this she needs to do something, and do it as actively and immediately as possible - to start regaining the lost positions as quickly and decisively as possible. But is this the right approach?

Indeed, while the ex-boyfriend is alone after the breakup, the girl can relatively calmly withstand a pause and not be imposed, thereby making it possible to relieve the acuteness of claims and grievances, "forcing" time to work for herself, doing self-improvement and self-development, analyzing her mistakes and preparing favorable conditions for the subsequent active phase of the return of the ex-boyfriend. I will not argue, this is difficult, especially when the two main mistakes that lie in wait for girls on the way of returning guys - fear and impatience, so strive to lead astray. However, fear and impatience are surmountable.

The situation is somewhat different if the ex-boyfriend has a new passion. It is not known how serious these new relationships are and whether they have any prospects, but it does not matter for the girl, since the fear “what if” is amplified many times over, provoking impatience, which in this case will not only not be beneficial, but also harm.

If he is not with her, it does not mean that he will return.

By destroying your ex-boyfriend's new relationship, you won't be able to bring him back.

I advise you to remember this axiom and repeat it like a mantra when it is really bad, or you really want to start immediately "saving the situation."

Let's try to draw allegorical parallels for better understanding.

Imagine that you liked some dish and for a long time with great pleasure ordered it in a restaurant every day. Over time, you began to notice that the dish loses its original taste. At first, you tried to justify this: "Probably boring." Then you began to feel nauseous after each meal, but even in this case you tried to explain this by changes in the state of your body, hoping that "next time" everything would be fine. You even told the cook that now you are eating with difficulty, to which he promised you on oath: "From tomorrow everything will be the same as before." However, "as before" did not become, moreover, the nausea turned from bearable into unbearable. Ultimately, you tell the chef what you think of him and leave the restaurant, throwing away the discount card in anger. Well, okay, do not throw it away and do not argue with the chef, but as a decent person, delicately (so as not to offend) say that, they say, “you need to take a break”, “it's not about your restaurant, but about me”, “I would with pleasure, but the doctor forbade ... "or something else ..., in general, somehow explain that in this restaurant you may not be seen again.

After sitting out on breadcrumbs and tea without sugar for several days, you go outside and find yourself in another restaurant (you want to eat), where you are offered another dish. You taste it and ... it tastes good. It may not be as tasty as the old dish was at the very beginning, but the new one will definitely not make you sick.

Now, attention! If you imagine that at the very time when you are carefully getting used to a new dish, a chef from an old restaurant will come up to the table, throw your plate on the floor, stomp on it, and put on the table a dish that you haven’t really had time to spit from. How do you feel about this? - Probably sharply negative. Despite the impossibility of finishing the food thrown off the table, for this reason you will not go back to the old dish and gobble it up by both cheeks, even if the chef tries to convince you: “How can you like this - in a couple of days to cross out several years of daily dinners in our restaurant !? This is a form of betrayal on your part! " or, desperate to persuade you, will attempt to open closed jaws with a knife and force food into you, saying: “Eat! She's delicious! What, disgusting? Wow! And before that it was not disgusting ?! ”.

Do you take all this as an argument? I think nothing but anger, hatred, resentment or bewilderment, the behavior of the cook will not cause you. He simply deprived you of food. What could be eaten is trampled and smeared on the floor, and the old dish makes you unbearably sick. Therefore, even after a few years, you will shy away from this culinary worker, stopping any of his attempts to establish communication with you.

I hope the allegory was clear. You can continue to develop the story about the cook, make him not so straightforward and shameless. He may not scatter plates and try to feed you by force, but, for example, stand nearby and whine: “Well, please! Oh please! Well, look what you are eating now, you don’t like it, admit it! " Be-e-e, but he, by the way, likes it! ". Even if you imagine that this very chef will act with the utmost restraint, offer to postpone the current meal and ask you to try your favorite dish once, convincingly promising that this time, the recipe is exactly followed, you will hardly accept the offer. Memories are still too fresh, and the chef himself, by his appearance alone, already causes unpleasant memories of attacks of terrible nausea in you.

Unfortunately, many girls believe that by acting like the chef described above, they will be able to get the guy back and revive his sense of self-love. This is a big mistake. In this way, the relationship cannot be restored, you can turn the guy against yourself and thereby reduce to zero the chances of restoring the relationship in the future.

The way out doesn’t suit, but it’s the only one

As you can see, it became clear that an attempt, under any pretext, to wedge into the new relationship of the ex-boyfriend in order to "prevent and return", is deliberately doomed to failure.

The only rational way out of this situation is the manifestation of endurance and patience.

Let's go back to our chef. How should he act to bring you back to his restaurant? You can resort to threats and blackmail, but this will only bring a short-term effect and, most likely, after a second escape (and the escape will certainly be very quick), you will never return. Therefore, the most sensible solution for the cook will be one thing - to apologize and disappear from your field of vision for a while, waiting for the passions to subside, and, most importantly, you will be fed up with a new dish, and it will no longer seem so tasty to you, will not amaze you with novelty and to give more and more new sensations. In other words, until you get used to the new dish (in the worst case) or until you start to feel nauseous again, but from the new dish (in the best).

Among other things, a person is inclined to idealize the past, and the further this past is from the present day, the brighter the memories of it become. The bad is forgotten and fades, and the good takes on bright colors and positive qualities, which, perhaps, did not exist in reality. You don't need to look far for an example; look at your parents, at your older acquaintances and relatives. With what warmth they remember far from the easiest years of their lives. Finally, listen to yourself, remember your childhood, adolescence, school, university. I am sure that pleasant moments, funny situations come up in your memory, but you are not tormented by nightmares at all from the threat of not passing the exam. Even those who were a source of troubles for you in the past no longer look so terrible and you are able to understand them somewhere, justify them, and you do not assess your "righteousness and tough position" in the past so categorically. All this is the result of the work of the "defense system" of our psyche, one that removes the acuteness of emotions over time, and therefore makes us more reasonable and sane, since our memory is gradually getting rid of the negative emotional implication that often guides us at the moment of direct experience developments.

And now, as soon as two things add up:

getting used to a new dish;
some time will pass, and your memories will be cleared of negative emotions,

an old chef may invite you for a cup of coffee at his refurbished restaurant and then ask you to come back more often. And if no less vivid reality falls on the bright colors of your pleasant memories, there is a chance that you will not refuse to try that forgotten, but such a heady taste of the distant past, and if you not only do not vomit, but a "taste joy shock" occurs, it is quite likely you will think about returning to the establishment.

I will briefly summarize, especially for those who do not understand the allegories.

If he has another girlfriend, do not panic and do not try to "beat the guy back" by hook or by crook, this will only harm and deprive yourself of a chance to restore relationships in the future. Although, if your goal is "me or anyone", you can act, but I warn you that the result will not bring moral satisfaction.

His new girlfriend is taboo for you. Screw your tongue to whatever you want and what you want, but do not discuss this girl and the new relationship, either with your ex-boyfriend or with anyone else. Enough strength - you can say a couple of good words (without irony) about his choice. Now a large number of people live in social networks, so put a "like" under the photo, nothing will fall off of you, but in the future, your non-aggressive and benevolent behavior will significantly add "positive points" to your guy's eyes.

I understand - “I cannot sit idly by and if I do something immediately, fight with all my might, then I can turn the situation in my favor” - but this is a delusion. In chess, such a position is called zugzwang - when any move leads to a worsening of the situation, so it is wisest not to make any moves until the balance of power changes. In chess this is impossible, but in life, fortunately, it is quite possible.

When will it be "possible"?

Timing questions are always asked. Here it is necessary to make a reservation and admit that the return of a guy from the state of "paired", in the general case, requires more time than the return from the state of loneliness. That is, the pause should be longer - at least six months before the first attempt to make contact. In all other respects, there are practically no differences in the actions for returning from what is described in the heading "Return the guy".

"What if…?"

Anticipating possible questions starting with "what if ...", for example, - "And if he really falls in love with a new girl and marries her, then I will have a chance to return him?"

Chances persist, because the future is unknown to us, and fate sometimes makes such dizzying somersaults that even a seasoned screenwriter of television melodramas of 300 episodes can be horrified.

But you are all reasonable people and you understand that a chance is not a guarantee, but only an opportunity, a probability, but not more. “Is there a chance to win a million dollars in the lottery? "Yes, if you buy a lottery ticket!" So, I am telling you how to buy this ticket in order to get a chance, but no one can guarantee a win, however, in the same way as guarantee a loss.

In this regard, I very much ask you to ask specific questions on the topic of the article, do not try to use comments for correspondence or chat, and do not expect that I will advise in the comments.

If you want to receive qualified help, please, contact for advice, and I will devote my time and knowledge to you with full dedication.

Best regards and hope for your understanding, Frederica

Parting brings with it bitterness and worries. And if some girls are ready to come to terms with what happened, then others certainly want to renew the relationship.

There are many articles and tutorials on how to get your ex-boyfriend back, but the advice they offer is not enough. For reconciliation, it is necessary to use not only someone else's experience, but also your own intuition. We will consider the most effective ways to return the former further.

In contact with

Unfortunately, after parting, not everyone succeeds in assessing the situation soberly. Thoughts in my head are confused, and any glimpses of the mind are consumed by the idea of returning an ex-boyfriend. However, is it always necessary to spend your own energy on renewing relationships? Of course not. It is worth discarding this goal if:

It's about a situation where the ex is really in love with a new passion. In this case, it is unlikely that you will succeed in achieving your goal, but the experienced humiliation will hurt your reputation and self-esteem.
If the relationship was not happy. Painful attachment is not a reason to bring your ex-boyfriend back. When a joint stay brings nothing but bitterness, one can only rejoice that everything is over.
There was no development in them. A man who did not seek to introduce his beloved to friends or parents, from year to year "fed breakfast", most likely, is not in the mood for something serious. To return an ex-boyfriend in this case means closing the way for a new relationship.

In order to understand whether this is really necessary, you can conduct the test "I want to get my ex-boyfriend back." You will need paper, pencil or pen. It is necessary to divide the sheet into two parts, marking the pillars with plus and minus signs. In the "+" column, describe all the positive aspects of the renewal of relations, in the "-" column, the negative moments from the past and the consequences of reconciliation. If the desire to return the ex-boyfriend still remains, then you need to move on to developing an action plan.

How to return an ex?

The methods you can use to get your ex-boyfriend back depend on the reason for the breakup. In mild cases, it is enough to go to reconciliation after a small quarrel, while in others you have to enter into a real confrontation with a new girl.

If he doesn't want

Even love in a couple is not a guarantee of a strong relationship. If the guy, despite mutual feelings, decided to leave, then you need to understand yourself. Perhaps the girl was disrespectful, did not listen to his opinion, or behaved in an inappropriate manner. Before returning the ex, if he does not want to, you should:

Say goodbye to bad habits. Was the guy against smoking and alcohol? It is better to forget about them for good. This act will not only help bring your ex-boyfriend back, but will also benefit your health.
It's time to go on a diet, change your wardrobe, or freshen up your hair. As you know, guys love with their eyes. Changes in appearance will help bring your ex-boyfriend back sooner.
Show respect for his interests. You may need to revisit any comic book movies, study the engine, or read cover to cover a winter fishing guide.

After analyzing the errors and working on them, you can move on to action. It is better to start with an unobtrusive contact, during which to make it clear what changes have occurred. If the guy sees that all his wishes have been taken into account, then there is a chance to fix everything.

If he avoids even communicating

What if, after parting, the lover does not make contact? He does not pick up the phone, does not respond to messages, and arranged it on social networks. There is still a way out of the situation. There are some tips on how to get your ex-boyfriend back if he doesn't want to chat:

"Accidentally" to be in that place at that time. Incidentally pass by those institutions that he visits or near his home. The meeting should be as natural as possible! During it, you can try to start a conversation.
Create a fake page. With her help, add your ex as a friend and start a correspondence. The main task - . When the guy makes an appointment, of course, you have to show your cards.
Wait. Reluctance to communicate often occurs after a strong resentment. In this case, you need to let your beloved "cool down".

If the efforts made only cause irritation and aggression, then there is no need to continue trying. Probably, after a while everything will work out by itself or these relations have exhausted themselves.

If he has a girlfriend

Painful comparisons of a new passion and one's own appearance make the situation very painful. How to get your ex-boyfriend back if he has a girlfriend? Threats and clarification of relations with a rival are strictly prohibited. This will give her a sense of her own superiority. It is better to competently analyze its advantages and disadvantages, try to surpass it in all possible respects. It is not worth highlighting your strengths, it always looks inappropriate. It is forbidden to impose, call and beg to return the ex! If the attempts have failed, it is better to stop them.

Calling and intruding is a bad idea.

If she left him

Girls are fickle creatures. Often, female representatives regret their hasty decisions and think about how to return their ex if they themselves left him. You can honestly tell your beloved about your mistake, repent and apologize. If he doesn't forgive, then the situation will be humiliating.

Another method is to resort to feminine trickery. It is necessary to force the young man to make contact first. You can provoke jealousy, press on pity, or ask for help. Yes, this is insidious, but if the plan fails, your own dignity will remain intact.

If he left you

When a guy for no apparent reason decides to leave, this does not mean that these very reasons are absent. It depends on the motive how to get your ex-boyfriend back if he left you. It is possible that or. They can be kindled by a reminder of the past, passionate or fun sharing.

Sometimes a guy leaves when he feels unnecessary in a relationship. If a girl devoted little time to her lover, valued her friends more, did not hear or did not want to hear the opinion of her ex, then a breakup is a natural course of things. It is worth letting the young man understand how dear and important he is.

If, after parting, a young man brags about this event to everyone, then categorically you should not try to return it! Most likely, the guy never took the girl seriously, and she was just "one of ...".

You can discuss the situation with your best friend or brother. It is easier for men to understand each other's motives, which means that their conclusions will be closer to the truth. If the environment has no one to discuss parting with, then you should rely on the general opinion of young people. Guy's tips on how to get your ex-boyfriend back goes like this:

A man longs to get inaccessible and tame the rebellious. Even the most attractive prey, striving for hands, loses its value. Excessive pressure or obsession is best left for other occasions.
Not cry! Tears and tantrums are natural irritants for men. You probably won't be able to pity the young man, but to piss off him - quite. In addition, tears have a negative effect on the beauty of the face.
Do not act provocatively. Actor's sketches and whims do not paint a girl. You need to be able to remain yourself, be calm and carry yourself with dignity in any situation.

It will be easier to bring your ex back by following three basic rules. Let him see that the girl has not lost herself, has not become an inadequate hysteria and will not fall at his feet. You need to be able to feel the fine line between a hint of reconciliation or its imposition.

Useful video

If your beloved guy dumped you, you need to understand yourself and understand whether you want to return the relationship or go. What you need to do for this, the video will tell:

Conclusion

How to return an ex-boyfriend if he has a different one, he has lost interest or his feelings have lost their former brightness, depends on many factors.
It is necessary, the reason for the separation, to analyze your own behavior.
You should not lose your face in attempts to return the relationship, perhaps something better lies ahead.