Friendly and friendly relations. Friendly attitude: formation and development

Moscow State University

psychology faculty

Course work

"Ä Ð Ó Æ Á À"

Orlov A.I.

evening department

II course, 21 groups

What is friendship?

Every person in life has to communicate with people. Communication occupies one of the most important places among human needs.

Communication is an informational and subject interaction, in the course of which ì interpersonal relationshipsî relationship (ÌÎ).

When people interact with each other, their personal qualities are manifested, hence the MO. The most important feature of MOs is their emotional basis. This means that they arise and are formed on the basis of certain feelings that are born in people in relation to each other. These feelings can be bringing together, uniting people and separating them.

If we delve into IR, we will come across more personal communication, for example, intimate-personal communication. This is the complicity of partners in each other's problems, the opportunity to share their spiritual and practical existence with others. Intimate-personal communication occurs under the condition of common values ​​of partners, and complicity is provided by understanding the thoughts, feelings and intentions of the other, empathy. Thanks to complicity in intimate-personal relationships, the self-actualization of the individual occurs, which is most facilitated by the highest forms of intimate-personal communication - friendship and love.

In this paper, I would like to consider what friendship is, what friendships are, its varieties: types and types, how writers understood and evaluated friendship. First, consider the elements of the psychology of friendship: attraction, empathy, since in friendly relations they are the main organizers.

The psychology of friendship.

attraction.

The psychology of friendship has been associated with socio-psychological research interpersonal attraction. The word "attraction" literally means attraction, attraction. In social psychology, the concept of "interpersonal attraction" is defined as a cognitive (cognitive) component of an emotional attitude towards another person, or as a certain social attitude, or, finally, as an emotional component of interpersonal perception.

The psychology of attraction covers:

1. the needs of the subject, prompting him to choose one or another partner;

2. properties of the object (partner) that stimulate interest or sympathy for him;

3. features of the interaction process that favor the emergence and development of dyadic (pair) relations;

4. objective conditions for such interaction (for example, belonging to a common circle of friends).

Empathy.

In modern psychology, empathy is usually interpreted as either ability to understand the world of experiences another person or how the ability to connect with the emotional life of another sharing his feelings. Analyzing the existing definitions of empathy, we can distinguish four of the most common:

1) understanding the feelings, needs of another;

2) feeling into an event, an object of art, nature;

3) affective connection with another, sharing the state of another or group;

4) property of a psychotherapist.

The most popular in the psychology of interpersonal relations and personality psychology is the understanding of empathy proposed by Diamond: "Empathy is the imaginary transfer of oneself into the thoughts, feelings and actions of another and structuring the world according to its model."

In the school of psychoanalysis, empathy is considered as a property of a doctor that ensures effective interaction with patients.

Lipps interpreted empathy as the perception of an aesthetic object - it is both an act of enjoyment and knowledge. Empathy is a way of knowing an object - aesthetic pleasure, feeling into the object through the projection of one's feelings and identification with it. True, this interpretation was given for the psychology of art, but it is perfectly suitable for people as well.

The concept of friendship and its meanings.

First of all, the word "friendship" has not one, but several different meanings. And not only in our time. Two thousand years ago this was discovered by Aristotle, who was just trying to define different types of friendship in order to single out true friendship among them. He distinguishes mainly friendship based on interest, and noble friendship, which alone deserves the right to be considered real. Therefore, even in ancient Greece, relations between two business people were perceived not as friendship, but as an interest in the success of a common cause. Then friendship between politicians was also often seen as a way to achieve success in politics.

So, if we briefly list the most common meanings of this word, we will see that in most cases the word "friendship" has little in common with our ideas about a real friend.

Meaning one: familiar. Most of the people we consider our friends are actually just our acquaintances, that is, those whom we single out from the faceless mass surrounding us. We know their worries, their problems, we consider them people close to us, we turn to them for help and we ourselves willingly help them. We have excellent relations with them. But there is no full revelation, we do not trust them with our deepest desires. Meeting them does not make us happy, does not make us smile involuntarily. If success comes to them, if they receive some kind of reward, or unexpected luck falls on them, we do not rejoice for them, as for ourselves; gossip, envy, enmity are added to many connections of this type. Deep conflicts are often hidden behind outwardly cordial relationships. Of course, these are not strangers to us, there is a certain closeness between us. But why call friendship such different types of relationships? This is a misuse of the word. So it was in the past, so it continues now.

Meaning two: collective solidarity. It is necessary to distinguish, as the ancients did, friendship from solidarity. In the latter case, friends are those who fight on our side, say, during a war. Friends on one side, enemies on the other. There is nothing personal in such solidarity. The man wearing the same uniform as mine is a friend, but I don't know anything about him. The same category includes forms of solidarity that exist in sects, in parties, in the church. Christians call each other brothers or friends, socialists - comrades, fascists - comrades. But in all these cases we are dealing with collective rather than purely personal relationships.

Meaning three: functional relationships. They refer to the type of personal connections based on social function. Here we meet with "utilitarian" friendship; such is the friendship between companions or between politicians. In this kind of relationship there is a minimum of love, they last as long as there is an interest that requires common care. This also includes numerous professional relationships, relationships between work colleagues and between housemates.

Fourth meaning: sympathy and friendliness. Finally, we come to the category of people with whom we feel good, who please us, whom we admire. But in this case, the word friendship should be used very carefully. Such emotional connections are often superficial and short-lived.

What, then, do we mean by the word "friendship"? Intuitively, it evokes in us an idea of ​​a feeling of deep, honest, trust and frankness. Empirical research also shows that the vast majority of people think of friendship this way. In his latest book, Reisman, having studied the vast amount of material written on the subject, gave the following definition of friendship: "A friend is one who takes pleasure in doing good to another, and who believes that this other has the same feelings for him." This definition of Reisman puts friendship among the altruistic, sincere feelings.

Friendship types.

Friendship can be divided into three types according to age categories: children's, youth and adult. Here ramsmotem only youthful and adult.

Youth friendship.

Youth is the period of the most intense and emotional communication with peers, group life, etc.

At the heart of the youthful craving for friendship is a passionate need in understanding the other and oneself to others and self-disclosure."Happiness is when you are understood," says the young protagonist of the film "Live to Monday."

One of the main unconscious functions of youthful friendship is maintaining self-respect. Friendship sometimes acts as a kind of form psychotherapy allowing young people to express their overwhelming feelings and find confirmation that someone shares their doubts, hopes and anxieties.

Youthful friendship is not only prone to confession, but also extremely emotional. And emotionality is expressed not so much in words and sentences, but in characteristic intonations, accents, reticence, omissions that a teenager, with all his desire, could not translate into concepts, but which convey to his friend-interlocutor the subtlest nuances of his moods, remaining meaningless and incomprehensible to an outsider. This "empty" conversation is psychologically more important and significant than a "meaningful" secular conversation about lofty matters... Needing strong emotional attachments, young people sometimes do not notice the real qualities of a partner. For all their exclusivity, friendships in such cases are usually short-lived.

The ratio of friendship and love is a difficult problem in youth. On the one hand, these relationships seem to be more or less alternative. The appearance of a beloved girl reduces the emotional intensity of same-sex friendship, a friend becomes more of a good comrade. On the other hand, love involves a greater degree of intimacy than friendship, it kind of includes friendship.

Adult friendship.

In youth, friendship, as we have seen, occupies a privileged, even monopoly, position in the system of personal relationships and affections. With the advent of new, "adult" attachments, friendship gradually loses its privileged position.

Three points are especially important for understanding the psychological differences between adult friendship and youthful friendship: 1) the relative completion of the formation of self-awareness; 2) expansion and differentiation of the sphere of communication and activity; 3) the emergence of new intimate attachments.

The content and structure of friendly communication are also changing. Tolerance for differences is one of the main indicators of the level of culture and intellectual development. This also shows up in communication. Childhood friendships can fall apart over a trifle. Young men are already ready to put up with the particular shortcomings of their friends, but friendship itself is still understood as something total.

types of friendship.

spiritual friendship- mutual enrichment and complement each other. Each is delighted and fascinated by the superiority of the other. Thus, he gives his friend the opportunity to receive such a desired recognition: what could be more beautiful if you are appreciated and understood by the one for whom you recognize this right. The most amazing thing is that everyone feels completely different from the other and admires precisely those qualities that he himself does not have.

creative friendship- both friends retain their pronounced individuality. Moreover, friendship helps to creatively complement the personality of each of the friends, to give a complete character to their individuality.

Everyday friendship can exist and develop only under the condition of immediate territorial proximity. Friends must live side by side, provide each other with services, ask for help, go to the movies together, or at least just chat about this and that. As a rule, such friendship is reinforced by some constant reason for meetings. It can be a normal neighborhood or a common job. Doctors, for example, are most often friends with doctors.

family friendship at first glance, it seems to be the complete antipode of creative friendship, but it is not. It is characteristic of the type of friendship we are considering that our friend, in essence, becomes a friend of the whole family. And if we are talking about a married couple who have children, we can clearly talk about friendship with families.

Kinds of friendship.

concept romantic friendship extremely uncertain. It either denotes the friendship of the era of romanticism, including the period of “storm and stress” that preceded it, or it correlates with specific ideas about friendship that were in circulation in the circle of German romantic poets, or it is associated with the psychological type of “romantic personality”.

If we ignore the psychological nuances, the romantic canon of friendship meant, firstly, a sharp increase in the requirements for its intimacy and expressiveness, and, secondly, the association of "true friendship" with that part of a person's life that falls on youth.

 erotic friendship there is no place for seduction and the desire to control the fate of another, to have power over him. Real erotic friendship is a disinterested, noble impulse aimed at improving yourself and helping another in this. Without petty calculations of all the pros and cons, without the desire to hold, command, influence, direct. A friend receives his friend with love and tries to please him. It doesn't matter if he was waiting for him, or if he came unexpectedly. A friend gives without asking for anything in return and receives without asking for anything. If eroticism manages to master all this, and sometimes it succeeds, it can live next to friendship. Otherwise, it destroys it.

The emergence of friendship. Meeting.

We may have great relationships throughout our lives with neighbors or work colleagues, but none of them will become our friends. And at the same time, we can consider a friend or girlfriend of a person whom we have seen only once or twice and who lives far away from us. It turns out, however, that only with him we feel good and want to show the best that we have.

Friendship arises as a break in the usual course of events, as a leap. At some point, we suddenly begin to experience a strong surge of sympathy, interest in another person, he becomes close to us. If we have known him for a long time, there is a feeling that we saw him for the first time in our lives. Let's call this phenomenon meeting. A meeting is a final event, a bunch of time. For friendship, only these moments of the highest intensity of life are important. Whatever happens in between doesn't matter. Such a meeting is always a surprise, always a discovery. For most of our acquaintances, we will never take this first step on the road to friendship.

Friendship is a complex interweaving of meetings, and each meeting is a test, it can bring success and disappointment. Unlike falling in love, we may not even think about a friend from meeting to meeting.

The interaction of 2 people is conveyed by the scheme of the American psychologist J. Levinger.

0. Zero contact.

Two unrelated individuals.

1. Awareness.

One-sided installations or impressions, no interaction.

2. Surface contact.

Double-sided installations, some interaction.

3. Relationships.

The intersection of two personalities forming a friendly We

I'm different

I'm different

I'm different

I'm different

Êòî åñòü äðóã?

In colloquial language, the word "friend" has many meanings. It means an acquaintance, a person to whom we treat with sympathy, a neighbor, a colleague, in a word, everyone who is close to us. However, now, as in the most distant past, there is another meaning: intimate friend whom we love and who loves us. This last type of friendship belongs to a narrower category of interpersonal relationships - to relationships built on love. When we think of our close friends, of true friendship, we are thinking of a certain form of love that exists between people.

A friend never lies to us and speaks to us only in the language of truth. We listen to him carefully and impartially, trying to understand and soberly evaluate what he is talking about. No ghosts and no theatrics. His experience carries the pathos of feelings and sobriety of mind. Therefore, it enriches us, elevating us emotionally and intellectually.

A person is as familiar to us as we know his life at every single moment. Therefore, when talking with one of our acquaintances, we ask about his plans, say, for the summer: "Where are you going on vacation?" The question about the future is complemented by information about the past: "Where did you go in the winter? How did you spend Christmas?" If we meet people who are not very close to us and do not know what to talk about, we will talk about the weather. But even here, having talked about today's weather, we will compare it with yesterday's and express your wishes about the weather in the coming days.

But friends, having met even after many years of separation, do not ask each other anything. They won't bombard each other with questions to find out what each one did and rebuild the past day by day. Moreover, the past does not seem to interest them at all. They immediately begin to talk about what is on their minds at the moment. Each of them, without prior preparation, is maximally disposed to the perception of the new. Friends who, having met, say to each other: "Now I will tell you everything in order" or "Tell me about yourself" are not real friends. There is nothing behind such general phrases.

We don't choose people we don't respect as friends. I will not talk all the time mentally with a person whom I consider a scoundrel, seek advice from a traitor. Friendship is such a social space where people treat each other more morally, more cordially than to those who are outside this space. Here, moral norms are observed in the most strict way: in the way they should ideally be observed by everyone.

There are situations in life when we feel bad, for example. It is at such moments that friends are always there. Friends are those who help us in our search, who share our anxiety with us, who fight with us for our interests, who have the same objects of love as we do. A true friend stays by our side and helps us when everyone else is gone. A true friend goes through trials by struggle, for struggle forces one to choose. He chooses us over someone else. Without choice, there is no friendship. The situation makes the choice dramatic, makes it irreversible, cuts off the way back. A friend is someone who chooses me along with my problems. But I myself must go in search of friends. In difficult times, I first of all turn to friends for help. Some decide to go with me, others do not. Every situation of loss acts like natural selection: it singles out those relationships that are destined to survive and continue. Helping a friend, we help ourselves, because it may happen that we change roles with him. He will be the victim, and we will rush to his aid. To live side by side, to share all the experiences of another means to fight losses together, to stand together against the forces of evil. And that means, over time, to acquire common objects of love. They are our loved ones, his loved ones, we are the object of his love, he is the object of our love. This is how friendship is born and grows stronger.

Moral and ethical aspects of friendship.

unwritten rules of friendship

Exchange

Share news about your successes

Show emotional support

Volunteer to help when needed

Try to make your friend feel good in your company

Return debts and rendered services*

Intimacy

Confidence in a friend and trust in him

Relationship with third parties

Protect a friend in his absence

Be tolerant of the rest of his friends*

Do not criticize a friend in public**

Keep trusted secrets**

Do not be jealous or criticize other personal relationships of the other**

Mutual coordination

Do not be annoying, do not teach *

Respect the friend's inner peace and autonomy**

The six unstarred rules seem to be the most important because they meet all four criteria:

Unanimously recognized as important for friendship;

Distinguish an ongoing friendship from a broken one;

Distinguish highly valued relationships from low valued ones;

Failure to comply with these rules is considered a probable and valid reason for ending the friendship.

Rules marked with one asterisk meet three criteria, but do not distinguish close friends from less intimate ones. In other words, they are important for ordinary levels of friendship, but in especially close relationships they can be violated: close friends are not considered favors, they forgive intolerance towards mutual acquaintances and even some importunity.

Rules marked with two asterisks meet two criteria: they are considered important and violation of them can contribute to the termination of friendship, but the assessment of the depth of friendships does not depend on them. These rules - avoid public criticism, keep confidentiality, not be jealous of third parties, and respect the private world of the other - are not specific to friendship, they operate in many other personal relationships and situations. The violation of some rules is perceived as a natural reason for the termination of friendship; for example, non-compliance with the norms of trust and mutual respect leads to a deterioration in relations, and violation of the rules that prevent conflicts, such as the ban on intruding into the inner world of a partner, leads to a break.

Levinger proposed a formal model of the cycle of personal relationship, consisting of five phases:

1. Attraction preceding the birth of a relationship.

2. Period of relationship formation.

3. Continuation of the relationship, meaning either:

a) its growth and strengthening,

b) maintaining the achieved level,

c) decrease in the level of instability.

4. Weakening or worsening attitude.

5. Termination of a relationship as a result of the death of one of the partners or a break.

Friendship is an ethical form of love. Unlike other forms of love, she chooses her object using moral criteria, and builds her attitude towards it, based on these criteria. But friendship is also preference. Being a friend always means that you are loved more than another, that you are preferred to someone else, to a huge faceless mass of others.

Friendship is a relationship between two completely free individuals, a meeting of equals. Two people can become friends even if they have different economic and social positions, but only if they meet as two free independent people with the same power and equal dignity. This is the process of realizing equality. But it perishes if we make it a rule to constantly use the help of a friend.

The dynamics of friendship largely depends on the conscious attitude of the partners: how they determine the nature of their relationship (whether they see friendship, love or a simple acquaintance), what goals they pursue, how they direct the present and future of friendly relations - they try to maintain, deepen them or let them go by themselves .

J. Allan, for example, argues that friendship is a qualitative characteristic of a relationship, and not an objectively existing type of relationship in itself. If two people, regardless of their social status, have respect for each other, if they communicate on an equal footing, we have the right to consider them friends. Even two lovers can be friends. They become them when, forgetting about erotic pleasures, each of them begins to wish good to the other disinterestedly, refusing any ulterior thoughts, sincerely.

Friendship and Erotica.

Psychoanalysts believe that eroticism lies at the heart of all interpersonal relationships. Any interpersonal relationship - be it love or friendship, reaches its essence, becomes genuine, only by revealing its erotic nature. This is the concept of some psychoanalytic schools (such as the school of Wilhelm Reich). Everything that does not find its expression in a purely erotic form is, according to psychoanalysts, the result of either self-elimination or sublimation.

Eroticism sees in a person only erotic properties and is looking not for the person himself, but for new sensations. The molecule of love is a state of origin, a constantly renewed feeling for the same person. The molecule of friendship is a meeting, and friendship itself is a chain of meetings with the same person. The erotic molecule is a new sensation. Erotic relationships continue as long as erotic sensations, erotic pleasure remain unusual, out of the ordinary.

Adj., number of synonyms: 3 who began to be friends (2) led the way (25) confessed ... Synonym dictionary

relations- Mutual communication, friendship, love or business relationship between someone. Amikoshonskie (obsolete, colloquial), amorous (colloquial), impeccable, unceremonious, close, hostile, old, delicate, businesslike, good neighborly, kind, friendly, friendly ... Dictionary of epithets

Relationships are interpersonal- subjectively experienced connection between people. There are various types of interpersonal relationships - business, personal, friendly, comradely, marital. Emotionally direct relationships are distinguished, interpersonal, characteristic of so ... ... Glossary of terms in general and social pedagogy

Love affair, friendships, friendship, companionship, friendships, intimate relationships, partnership, friendship, short relationships, cupids, cohabitation, love relationships, connection, love, romance Dictionary of Russians ... ... Synonym dictionary

Close relations, friendship, friendly relations, comradely relations, friendly relations, friendship, partnership Dictionary of Russian synonyms. short relationship n., number of synonyms: 7 close relationships ... Synonym dictionary

Interpersonal relationships are close- Interpersonal relationships can be defined as the mutual readiness of partners for ODA. the type of feelings, claims, expectations and behaviors that are realized in the daily interaction of these people. It is customary to distinguish between acquaintances, friendships, ... ... Psychology of communication. encyclopedic Dictionary

Ex., number of synonyms: 10 close relationships (15) friendship (31) short relationship ... Synonym dictionary

Exist., number of synonyms: 7 close relationships (15) friendship (31) friendships ... Synonym dictionary

INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS- subjectively experienced connection between people; there are various types of interpersonal relationships, business and personal, friendly, comradely, marital, etc. The test and evaluation of interpersonal relationships occurs at work, in an educational team, in ... Dictionary of Career Guidance and Psychological Support

Friendship, friendliness, benevolence, harmony, peace, consent, familiarity, a short acquaintance, twinning, (good) friendliness, amikoshonstvo, love, fraternization, unity, communication; friendship is sincere, hypocritical, canine, close. Do something friendly... Synonym dictionary

Books

• Alan Friedman. Alan Friedman tells the story of the life of a billionaire, tycoon, politician, who practically led Italy for twenty years. Collecting material for Berlusconi's biography, Friedman spent a year and a half ...
• Berlusconi. The story of a man who took possession of Italy for twenty years, Friedman A.. Alan Friedman tells the story of the life of a billionaire, tycoon, politician, who practically led Italy for twenty years. Collecting material for Berlusconi's biography, Friedman spent a year and a half ...

And sometimes even the most sworn enemy can rejoice at your grief so that a person will receive support or a long-awaited “kick” to get out of this situation. At the same time, a close friend with whom you have known since childhood - not to give the warmth and support that is so needed ...

Who to build with?

Relationships, oddly enough, are built. Gradually and systematically. Of course, it sounds a little creepy - "to build", to calculate when the result should be exactly close and friendly relations between people. But in fact, there is nothing unnatural in this - we somehow create a social circle, allow some people to communicate with us and avoid others.

Our expectations

Getting in a relationship exactly what we need - it would seem, there is nothing easier. However, we need something different every day (and even hour). Namely:

• support
• approval of our actions
• care
• timely kick
• comfort
• interest in us
• our interest in another person
• new information
• unusual pastime.

Building close and friendly relations between people is a whole science. With whom is it worth communicating, and with whom, on the contrary, do you need to “keep your eyes open”? Let's try to go through the main categories of acquaintances from which you can replenish

Colleagues. We try to maintain close and rather friendly relations with them, but between people at work, most often, relations are productive, and not warm. As soon as the share of “warmth” and cozy “gatherings” over tea and coffee is greater than the solution of production issues, the company can either fire negligent chatterbox workers or cease to exist altogether.

Native. Unfortunately, there are rare cases when close and friendly relations are established between people related by blood. Fantasize on the topic “who he should be” not only moms and dads, but also nephews, aunts, grandmothers and grandchildren ... And only occasionally does God give wisdom to blood relatives to accept their beloved tribe exactly the person that he is, and not through lens of their own ideas. And where fantasies replace reality, by and large, we are not talking about close or friendly relations.

Random acquaintances. Cheerful fellow travelers and just sociable people are quite common. Going on vacation together, staying in nearby hotel rooms, taking a long intercity bus or train ride, and even - all this is a good reason to get to know each other. And yet, you should not be upset that in some conditions you managed to start an interesting conversation, but in others you didn’t. At home, in a calm and relaxed atmosphere, you may not want to continue the acquaintance that has begun. Interest in fellow travelers fades in direct proportion to the distance left to your hometown - and this is normal. However, in any rule there is a place for pleasant, but unexpected exceptions.

Friends of friends. This category of acquaintances is very prolific for unusual acquaintances. In the general circle, you, firstly, quite naturally get to know new people, and secondly, you can choose from a large number of people who you are really interested in. And with such people, close, warm relationships of mutual assistance and understanding can just begin. Our friends sometimes know us too closely and not from the best side. And a new friend in this regard is better than the old two. He has not yet heard your "signature" jokes and has not tried the "signature" dish. Like you - not too aware of his life, past, cases. And this is already a good reason for joint “gatherings” over tea and tete-a-tete conversations!

childhood friends. Unfortunately, we are not just growing - we are changing. With age, new interests, habits appear, ideas about life change. This means that relations with Masha from kindergarten No. 123 can either continue, but in their own way, or stop "as unnecessary." After all, if the purpose and basis for the existence of such relationships is to periodically recall the old days, then you will want to meet once a year. And no relationship can be warm, friendly and fulfilling if nothing else unites you.

All friends are good - choose to taste!

All acquaintances are divided into former and future girlfriends and friends. Therefore, communicating with a person for a long time, sooner or later you will have to choose. Either the relationship remains "as is" - for example, friendly, superficial, or breaks off. Or, if there are some points of contact, you can transfer them to the category of close and friendly. Of course, most likely you will have to work, noticing and smoothing out “sharp corners” in time, to be interesting yourself and sincerely interested in a person.

On the other hand, letting everything take its course, it is very easy to get cunning chanterelle girlfriends and vixen girlfriends. And you can’t build real close relationships with them ...

Friendship occurs when people feel mutual sympathy for each other. The reasons for the emergence of friendly relations can be common interests, moral values, moral ideals, a sense of humor, as well as demeanor, external attractiveness, character traits. Friendships do not imply depth, do not oblige to anything, unless over time they develop into friendships. Friendship is a disinterested relationship between people based on trust, sincerity, sometimes love, common interests and hobbies. Most often, friendly relations arise between neighbors. We offer you some tips on how to maintain friendly and friendly relations.

How to maintain good neighborly relations

Try to be attentive to your neighbors, especially if they are elderly people. Always respond to any requests for help (move, unload, load, move, etc.). Make sure to return everything you borrowed on time. If your children, you, or your dog have caused harm to your neighbors, make amends right away. Without any requests, help your neighbors with every little thing (help carry a heavy bag, lift a stroller up the stairs, etc.).

Find opportunities to talk to your neighbors. When meeting, say hello, smile, exchange at least a couple of words, even meaningless ones.

Invite your neighbors over if possible. This is one of the best ways to get to know them better, to communicate with them. You can also throw a party for all the neighbors, including those with whom you do not know. Personally invite everyone, talk with each family for at least a few minutes. Even if one of them cannot come to visit you, you will still get to know them and leave the best impressions about yourself.

Meet the newcomers. They may feel insecure and lonely, especially if they have lived in other conditions before or come from afar. If the new settlers have children, tell me which of the neighbors have their peers. Explain where shops, schools, kindergartens, parks, cafes and restaurants are located. Without sitting up, invite new neighbors to visit and leave your phone number.

To maintain good relations with your neighbors, do not park in your neighbor's parking lot and do not allow your guests to do so.

Keep in mind that not everyone loves children and pets. Do not let your children run screaming down the street or under the windows of the house. Set the boundaries for children of their activity - place, time, noise level. Do not let your dog run without a muzzle and leash. Periodically ask your neighbors if your family is bothering them in any way. This will make a good impression on the neighbors.

Friendships and how to maintain them

Find time for friends. If you consider a person your friend and value this relationship, try to meet with him more often or at least call from time to time.

Don't be a burden to a friend. Remember that relationships between friends should be equal. Considering that the characters and capabilities of all people are different, before turning to a friend for help, estimate how much effort, money, time a friend can devote to you without feeling annoyed. Conversely, don't go out of your way just to please a friend. Such relationships are not lasting. As soon as you notice that you are giving much more than you are receiving, start discussing the situation.

Always have your friends' phones close at hand. As soon as you have a few free minutes (in traffic, in line, for a cup of coffee in a cafe, etc.), call one of your friends and talk on a variety of topics.

Create a tradition to meet once a month with friends on the same day, hour, in the same place. This will bring you even closer.

Protect your friend even in his absence. If you hear that your friend is being called unflattering, whether it is justified criticism or idle fiction, interrupt the speaker and ask them to refrain from such statements about your friend. Sooner or later, your friend will find out about this and this will further strengthen the friendship.

You can give many more tips on how to strengthen friendships and friendships. The main thing is to be honest, sincere, kind in any relationship, then you will have many friends and true friends.

At all times, humanity was worried about the question: is there friendship between a man and a woman? There is no answer to this day. This is rather a rhetorical question, completely individual. It should be noted right away that the object of discussion is not an intermediate friendship from acquaintance to a full-fledged relationship. Namely, friendly, friendly relationships that do not imply a romantic outcome. The opinions of psychologists are radically different from each other. Some are sure that friendship is not guided by gender. Others argue that the basis of any relationship is physical attraction. And, sooner or later, platonic love will grow into physical.

What is friendship?

Some have a distorted concept of friendship. As a result, a misunderstanding of love relationships is formed. The line between platonic and romantic relationships is blurred. Therefore, friendship between a man and a woman ceases to be an option. So, friendship is called disinterested, trusting relationships built on common interests, communication, respect, fun pastime.

There are a number of basic distinguishing features of friendships from other types of feelings:

• Unselfishness. Friendships are formed without further benefit to anyone. If one achieves success in something, the other is only happy with his achievements. If on the way there are failures, friends experience them together. No envy, no gain, no use.
• Equality. There is no principle of hierarchy (as in a family, at work). Partners are equal.
• Frankness. True friends share their experiences with each other, openly show emotions. No one will ridicule the revelations.
• Naturalness. Friends never wear masks, they never pretend. They are what they are. And pretense is superfluous, inappropriate.
• Freedom. Comrades do not violate the personal space of everyone. Communication occurs only when both want it.

If these conditions are met, communication is easy, without imposition, we can safely talk about friendship between a man and a woman. But, the line between camaraderie and romance is very thin. She is not easy to recognize. It is even more difficult not to step over it for the opposite sex.

How to distinguish friendship from romance?

How to distinguish simple friendship from brewing love? A distinctive feature of romanticism is sexual attraction to a partner, which is manifested from the sensual sphere. The purpose of a romantic relationship is to build a family. Therefore, when a physical attraction to a man or woman arises, it is not necessary to talk about friendship.

If love begins to emerge between friends, the interests of one are put above the interests of the other. The appearance of a hierarchy, subordination violates one of the basic principles of unanimity - equality. A partner in love begins to do everything to please the other. He puts on masks, becomes good. So, a man can take the role of a guardian, a protector, and a woman can take the role of a mistress, a seductress. All these masks and roles discredit the principle of naturalness.

Often, people in love have false expectations for their chosen ones. And when these expectations are not justified, they are upset, disappointed. In this case, the principle of freedom, disinterestedness is violated. These are the main differences between love and friendship. The sooner "friends" recognize them, the better it will be for both.

Having studied the psychology of the relationship between a man and a woman, you can understand what you need. If a partner is not looking for love or sex, friendship will only bring benefits - communication, useful experience, development. If a man or woman notices that sexual desire is beginning to appear, and you want to maintain friendship, you should adhere to the following psychologist's advice:

• Remember that you are friends;
• Do not flirt with a friend, do not make ambiguous compliments;
• Do not make joint purchases (do not play family relationships);
• Keep a distance in communication;
• Tell a friend / girlfriend that the place in your heart is taken.

Why do men value friendship with a woman?

Both a man and a woman expect understanding, support, trust, help, and a pleasant pastime from such relationships. But, a man who is friends with a girl also receives a kind of psychological relaxation session of psychotherapy. After all, who, if not a friend, will tell you what girls like, how to dress for a first date, what to give a sweetheart for her birthday?

Women are sensitive, spiritual beings. In them, a man will always find support, useful advice. Due to courtesy and attentiveness, a man feels like a leader in a female environment. Therefore, like-mindedness with a woman gives him confidence, increases self-esteem. Also, a long-term friendship with a girl helps a man understand the feminine nature, the essence. This is a great theoretical experience for building romantic relationships.

Why do women prefer friendship with a man?

Men have developed logical thinking. They soberly assess any situation, without emotions. Therefore, girls will always find support, good advice from a male friend. In addition, a man is always sincere. They do not try to compete with a friend, to look better than her. They are what they are. This makes it much easier for some girls to surround themselves with male friends.

In addition, the representatives of the stronger sex, in most cases, are reliable and responsible. They will help you day and night. You can always rely on them. Friendship with a man gives a woman an understanding of the opposite sex, which helps in building a love relationship. And communication with a guy significantly expands your horizons, carries you into interesting dialogues, discussions.

Friendship between a man and a woman is real

World psychologists say that friendly relations between opposite sexes are quite possible. This is indicated by a sociological survey. So, 62% of the population either believe in friendship between the sexes, or have such a relationship. But, nevertheless, there is a line in such feelings. So, a friendly union between a guy and a girl is possible only if the following parameters are met:

• One of the friends, or both, has a love relationship with others;
• No sex drive;
• No sex;
• Both wish to maintain friendly relations;
• Partners are friends in couples, families.

The last point is worth dwelling on in more detail. Not always a spouse or spouse welcomes the close relationship of their loved one with the opposite sex. Jealousy takes its toll and the friendship ends. On the other hand, the second half is worth considering. If a married girl or a married young man needs to communicate with the other sex, perhaps the couple lacks spiritual intimacy, there is a spiritual distance between them.