Quarrel of best friends - how to make peace and forget the offense. How to make peace with a friend in different situations

Everyone says that true female friendship does not exist, that the relationship of ladies is always artificial and simulated. But no one believes in friendship between a man and a woman either. So we girls, contrary to all stereotypes, have to look for girlfriends with whom you can share all the joys and troubles, discuss any topic, complain about problems in the family, or just chat over a cup of coffee. And when you find a kindred spirit, before which you can be sincere and open, sometimes it is very scary to lose it.

A fight with your best friend can literally turn everything upside down. When this little man with whom you were so close stops calling... When you really lack friendly advice and support... When you want to take a walk and talk from the heart, and not with anyone... At such moments, you realize how important your relationship with girlfriend, and how you want everything back. If you regret the quarrel and are ready to take the first step, the only thing left to do is figure out how to do it.

How to make peace with your best friend

How to reconcile with your best friend? Do not delay reconciliation, especially if the conflict was minor. Try to figure out all the grievances as quickly as possible, and do not repeat this mistake in the future. Feel free to take the first step, even if you don't feel guilty about it. A close friend will definitely appreciate your act and also apologize on their part. And if it was you who quarreled with a friend and acted as the main initiator of the conflict, all the more so, ask for forgiveness as soon as possible. If a friend sincerely loves you, she will certainly listen to everything and forgive.

If you do not dare to call a friend after a quarrel and meet in person, write an SMS with explanations and apologies. In no case should you humiliate your dignity by begging for forgiveness. Just say that your friendship is very important to you, and you would like everything to be the same. If a friend replies to your message, feel free to make an appointment. If she ignores, which happens too (maybe she just needs more time to cool down), try calling or texting her later.

After making an appointment, analyze everything thoroughly. After all, you have to speak out all your claims to each other, so you must accurately understand the cause of the conflict. You don't want everything to end with screams and mutual insults again.

Quarrel with a friend

  • The conflict can have many causes. But often emotional girls swear just like that for no reason. And reconciliation in this case is easier than ever. We all take out our stress, fatigue and anger on the people closest to us. And if it so happened that you rashly said nasty things to your friend, before you apologize, do something nice for her. Buy her favorite flowers, and even better, her favorite cake, invite her to the cinema or theater for your favorite performance with her, call her to go shopping. And ask her to forget that unpleasant incident between you that jeopardized your relationship.
  • If you had a fight with a friend because of different views on life, think about whether it is so important to you. Perhaps it’s better not to raise a controversial topic and enjoy those areas in which your interests coincide. Suggest this idea to a friend, and most likely she will agree not to remember your quarrel anymore.
  • Often resentment against a friendcomes from jealousy. And this happens when one of the two girls finds a guy, and the second is left alone, not knowing where and with whom she now spends her free time. Sometimes she calls her ex-girlfriend to meet all three of them together, but suddenly she starts behaving incorrectly, interfering in the relationship of the newly made couple. In this case, it would be ideal if the second girlfriend also found her love. But life is not so easy. So it turns out that female friendship sometimes does not withstand such a test.
  • It is difficult to maintain a warm relationship even when one of the girls finds a second close friend. In life, it is extremely rare to meet a kindred spirit, and if, having a good friend, you suddenly meet another person who is close in spirit, you don’t want to lose either one or the other. If you find yourself in this situation, do not try to introduce your friends to each other. In this case, it would be better to meet and communicate with them separately. This will eliminate jealousy and will not offend the feelings of any of your girlfriends. Although if you are sure that the girls are very similar in their outlook on life, you can organize a joint meeting, perhaps they will also make friends with each other.
  • Sometimes the cause of a quarrel between women is banal envy. And this is not about black hatred, but about a simple feeling of deprivation and injustice, which sensual natures periodically experience. Each person has their own problems and their own opportunities in life. Some have been brought up in wealthy families since childhood and do not need anything, while others count every penny. But on the other hand, more independent and active people easily find a good job and move up the career ladder, while self-doubt hinders shy quiet ones. So it turns out that even between the closest friends, an unpleasant feeling of envy can arise. To keep your friendship, try not to think about the differences between you, and just enjoy common interests.

There are many reasons to quarrel with a close friend, because this is life, and we are all living emotional people. But it is necessary to return a warm relationship with a person dear to you. And who but you can know the way to the heart of your beloved girlfriend. Take the first step, and very soon you will again be discussing the news, sharing little female tricks, smiling and chatting about everything in the world.

Photo: Iakov Filimonov/Rusmediabank.ru

You are “sworn” friends, and others perceive you as one. But one day, not the most beautiful day, a black cloud appears in the form of a quarrel and subsequent ignoring each other on the horizon of your peace and harmony. Naturally, you are offended, upset, upset and have many other negative feelings. But if emotions subside soon, another, more important question remains: how to make peace and rebuild relationships? We will not give you a universal recipe for restoring friendly relations, but we will take the liberty of giving recommendations for establishing a constructive dialogue. So let's get started.

Why do we fight with close friends?

Quarrels sometimes accompany friendships, like any other, but if the quarrel was trifling, the unpleasant aftertaste from it quickly disappears. Another thing is if it has serious reasons, for example:

Criticism towards each other or "one-way";

A love or friendship triangle, when one of you lacks attention and communication due to a male passion that has appeared or a new circle of acquaintances. This can also include flirting with someone else's loved one;

The difference in views on life, hobbies, politics, religion, etc., which results in misunderstanding;

Desire to give advice left and right, even if it is not asked;

Elementary, as a result of which it is not uncommon - evil and malicious words, allusions, irony. As a result, the conflict can flare up like a match.

What to do if a quarrel with a friend bothers you? Consider a quick guide to bonding friendships:

1) Analyze the situation

Think about what caused your relationship before attempting reconciliation. Maybe she or you were just not in the mood, some of you have real problems, or the conflict has been brewing for a long time, and a careless word or action just worked like a detonator. In any case, this stage must be passed in order to soberly assess the degree of one's guilt in the quarrel and take the correct further actions.

2) Take the first step

Even if you were not the culprit of the quarrel, it would be an adult act to make the first attempts at reconciliation yourself. Have the courage to do this not through virtual communication via SMS or messages on social networks, but by phone or, best of all, in person. Take courage and apologize to your friend if you feel guilty. Or ask her about the reasons why she was offended and let her speak. Throw nonsense out of your head that the weak make the first step. On the contrary, only strong-willed individuals do this, for whom the words “conscience” and “honor” are not empty sounds.

3) Don't pressure your girlfriend

It is harder to take a step towards yourself if you have offended you. Therefore, stop trying to sort things out by putting pressure on a loved one and bringing evidence of her guilt. Try to forget about the quarrel, even if it is difficult enough to do it, otherwise mutual insults will grow to a universal scale. Perhaps she didn't mean to offend you at all. Start a conversation on abstract topics just to somehow start it. As the conversation progresses, it will be much easier to apologize or accept an apology.

4) Take a time out

The advice is good if the conversation does not stick, and attempts to establish communication do not bring results. Give the person time to figure out the reasons for what happened, draw their own conclusions and understand how to behave further. Do not accuse her of coldness and unwillingness to restore friendship: everyone needs their own period of time to draw reasonable conclusions, and not be guided by emotions.

What to do if a friend does not want to put up

It happens that you go out of your way in the desire to improve past relationships, and she fundamentally refuses to meet halfway. You should not diligently impose your desire on your girlfriend to make peace at all costs. Perhaps the time has come with this person: views on life and interests have changed so much that it is already pointless to return friendship. Therefore, calmly let this person out of your environment and be ready to meet new people. By the way, you should not take this advice literally and cross out a previously close person from life. Try to establish and maintain normal relations that are characteristic of civilized people. Perhaps companionship will be better for both of you than "friendship forever."

No matter what negative emotions and resentment towards your girlfriend you experience, you should remember one truth: friendship is a gift from God, and not everyone can experience it. If you are lucky enough to find a loved one, try to keep this gift from heaven. Any conflict is a test of your friendship for strength, but it is possible to get out of it with minimal losses if both of you draw the right conclusions, forget about omissions and continue to be more careful about each other's feelings.

I know it's not easy to forgive me
But believe me now even more difficult
To realize that I hurt my friend
This makes it doubly painful.

Let's forget past grievances
I feel so bad without you, I'm not lying
So hoping for forgiveness
I apologize.

I'm sorry that this happened
It's all very stupid.
But I'm sorry
And I apologize.

My beloved friend,
I am guilty. Sorry.
I know we love each other
Grudges will be behind.

Did I offend you?
Believe me, I didn't mean to.
Something came over me
I didn't watch my language.

I'm sorry girlfriend
I'm inadvertently
I won't repeat
It will be a lesson to me.

I'm so ashamed, embarrassed,
It became bad in the soul,
Excuse me please,
I'll get better, I'll get better!

I want to tell you I'm sorry
I'm sorry, please don't be angry anymore
Didn't mean to offend
Well, let's make peace soon!

Imagine how I will be
Without my dear friend
I'll go crazy without you
You alone are needed.

You are my sunshine
that broke through all the clouds,
And with you it's so easy for me
Stop torturing my soul.

I know I offended you
And for that I sincerely apologize
Are you bored without me
Give me back my mood!

Please don't be mad at me,
Guilty, I admit
Better just smile
I love you with all my heart.

You are my girlfriend
dear man,
I will never be
Someone closer than you.

This is all because of me!
It's my fault, friend.
And now I regret
that quarreled with each other.

I want to reconcile.
In a quarrel without you I suffer.
Well, don't be mad, please.
Excuse me, dear!

Forgive me, dear friend!
I am very guilty before you,
What came over me then, I don't know
Something terrible happened to me.

You are my strength and hope,
And it's better for me not to find anyone around.
I'm sorry! Let everything be as before
You are my best friend in the world.

But, you are interested in me,
And let me piss you off sometimes
Forgive me my girlfriend
I sincerely ask you.

The sun doesn't shine for me without you
And even the chocolate has lost its taste
Stop being angry
I'm afraid to lose you.

Let's make up, forget this quarrel,
I won't hurt you anymore
I'm unbearably sad without you
I don't even have anyone to talk to!

I'm sorry for what I did
I know that, of course, it's not right,
What did I say too much to you
What hurt you my words!

I hope the ice melts a little
After all, I cherish friendship!
My soul cries and cries
I apologize to you for everything!

Please don't be offended
And don't be mad at me
We have been friends with you for so many years,
Let's make peace soon.

Why harbor resentment in your soul,
Let's learn to forgive.
We are proud in appearance
But we still want to be better.

With you, we both understand
That anyone can make a mistake.
And without each other it's not easy for us,
And we really need to reconcile.

Do you often quarrel with your loved ones? I rarely fight with anyone, but sometimes I feel some kind of tension in a relationship. This happens especially often with friends - just a few bad moments are enough for the relationship to begin to burst at the seams.

Cause of conflict

In general, I have disagreements with my best friend almost as often as with my mother. I can’t say which of us is to blame for this - it seems to me that if two bright personalities are friends with their own principles, clashes are inevitable. However, we only got into an open quarrel a few times, and these were the dark days of my biography.

If you want to make peace after a quarrel, then everything is clear here - you know exactly the cause of the conflict (or at least guess about it). And if you didn’t quarrel, but the relationship is still not the same as before? There are several reasons why relationships deteriorate, among them:

  • lack of attention;
  • a fundamental difference in some important issues;
  • personal life;
  • unwillingness to get into each other's position.
Most often, all quarrels happen precisely because of a lack of attention. If you or your best friend is not getting enough attention, then there is always a reason for this. In fact, they are unlikely to be related to the fact that a friend no longer needs you. Remember your "withdrawals into yourself." For example, I go deep underground in the following situations: depression and prolonged stress, falling in love, blockage at work, feeling unwell.

These reasons may be different for you, but one way or another, they are unlikely to come to your best friend's mind if you suddenly disappeared from the connection or answer too coldly.

If coolness in the relationship appeared after a quarrel, then here it is worth analyzing what was said to each other and revealing, again, the essence of the conflict. As it often happens, people accumulate some small claims, small grievances.

What could be the reason for such resentment? Missed call, lack of attention, late for a meeting. All this may seem like neglect to your best friend.

How to clear up conflict

Be sure to find the mistake one of you made. Yes, it can be very ridiculous, but even because of the likes on VK, many girls manage to quarrel. Look through the wall of your girlfriend in contact, read your message history - most likely, the conflict has matured for some time, and you will definitely find some hints and echoes in the correspondence.

In my case, the relationship with my girlfriend started to deteriorate after she first texted my boyfriend and they started talking. I cannot say that this caused a quarrel - yet we did not quarrel. But, to be honest, I did not understand her demarche. Why does she need it? Is there really no one to chat with on VK besides him?

In general, then everything rolled like a snowball. And now they have some common interests, secrets from me. It seemed to me that she was just taking my boyfriend away from me. I decided that if everything was in order, then they would not be secret in VK.

When I realized that this is really a problem, and I can’t even write to her (because I always suspect her of betrayal), I decided to look into everything and figure out how to make peace with my friend. However, first of all, it was necessary to clarify the situation, and I decided to write to her first in contact, and at the same time talk with my boyfriend. They answered my questions literally the same thing - lately I was angry and irritable, didn’t want to communicate with anyone, and she was very worried about me, and wanted to at least find out through my boyfriend how I was doing.

In general, I thought up a problem for myself, and greatly offended my girlfriend, with whom we have been friends since school.

Whatever your problem is, find the strength in yourself to talk with a loved one - you are not in vain friends, you know how to understand each other. If talking directly is too hard, write in contact - this method always helps when you need to start an unpleasant conversation. Writing is much easier than speaking.

Ways of reconciliation

When we found out the essence of the conflict, I felt even worse. I understood how much I offended my two closest people with my suspicions, I understood that only I was the cause of this stupid situation, and I did not know what to do. I went to my mother for advice, and this is what she advised me:
  • you can pretend that nothing happened;
  • you can apologize, and hope that everything will be as before;
  • you can try to smooth the whole situation.
It seemed to me that to pretend that nothing had happened - at least stupid. We did not speak properly for several weeks, missed our ritual meetings, and generally said no more than two dozen phrases to each other (and not the most pleasant ones at that). Apologizing seemed a little silly to me - I know both myself and her well. We will slide into terrible pathos, we will drink tea and talk with an official look, and this will only spoil everything.

I needed to come up with something, and I came up with it. Having reconciled with my beloved, I quickly sent him to the dacha for the weekend, and I invited my girlfriend to a pajama party.

I had a plan how to return our warm relations again. The plan is pretty simple:

  • laugh first;
  • then cry;
  • then drink;
  • after that cuddle and fool around like before.

I realized that I was to blame for this mutual tension, and I decided to laugh first at myself, and then at a good new romantic comedy. It was quite easy to laugh at myself - I immediately hung a couple of funny posters on the front door, in which I indicated that this is where the party named after the jealous fool takes place.

In general, a few funny paraphernalia, like a wall newspaper and stupid hats from a joke store, and we had fun to tears. Then we got ice cream out of the fridge and watched a movie, after which we hugged and had a good cry, promising each other never to come up with such garbage again.

What should you do? In fact, this scenario - laugh and cry - is the best way to understand how to make peace with a friend. First, both laughter and tears relieve stress. Second, they connect. If two people laughed to tears over something, they are unlikely to be able to look at each other with alienation. Find something funny that will cheer up your girlfriend and laugh along with her. And it's better to cry under good films about love.

In the same way, I can say that if something really serious became the cause of your quarrel, and now you are experiencing discomfort, then be sure to take the first step towards reconciliation. Even if you think it's her fault. Remember that this is your own girlfriend, with whom you have lived so much. You can’t lose a close friend because of any quarrel, I am firmly convinced of this.

And the last thing I can advise to all those who want to make peace with their girlfriend - be sure to speak, express your grievances, do not let them accumulate. It will be easier for you, and it will be much easier for her, if both of you do not keep everything to yourself. Open your soul to a friend, and you can trust each other again!

Do not demand explanations and do not explain yourself. As soon as you and your girlfriend begin to clarify the details, the fight will start again. And reconciliation will be much more difficult.

Tell your friend that she is dear to you, that she is needed in your life, that you do not want to lose her company. Remind her that quarrels happen to those closest to her, but any difficult situation can be resolved. Discuss with her possible options for resolving the situation.

If a girlfriend asks for forgiveness, do not start explaining to her what she was to blame for. Forgive her and communicate as if nothing had happened. Or you can explain to her what exactly you are, but do not operate with the phrases “You were wrong because”, with the help of such constructions, you can easily start a quarrel again.

Settle alone. A crowded place is ill-suited to restoring peace.

Do what you love. If you have cleared up all the important points, do something with your girlfriend that is interesting for both of you. You can bake something, sew, draw, play some game. Joint activities will help you forget about the quarrel. The main thing is not to try to be distracted in this way if you have not yet reconciled or understood the nature of the conflict. In such a case, joint activities will only inflame the atmosphere.

Never bring up conflicts from the past. Remembering previous quarrels, you will return to the appropriate emotional state, and then any spark will be enough for a new conflict.

Complaining about your girlfriend to someone else is a sure fire way

Never discuss a quarrel with mutual acquaintances. They will probably tell your friend about this, which means that you will also be to blame for complaining about her. There is nothing worse than explaining that you did not mean it at all. Such situations happen very often, and the relationship then deteriorates irreparably.
During reconciliation, do not be boring; listing all the flaws and shortcomings will not lead to anything good.

Wait at least ten minutes, go somewhere if necessary, cry or shout. Release your emotions and start making peace. Keep the dialogue constructive. If you think it is possible for yourself, take the first step.

Be prepared to compromise, do not cling to trifles and unprincipled issues. First, offer to forget about non-essential things. This can help bring you closer.

After reconciliation, take a walk together to the mall, go shopping or visit a beauty salon. This will enhance positive emotions, and the quarrel will be forgotten.