Captured by a partner. Signs of love addiction in men and women. Love addiction: methods of treatment of illogical passion

14.08.2019

Only an adult soul can have a calm and harmonious love relationship. Adult love is bright and practically does not carry worries. But there are other, wrong, unhealthy relationships.

is a disease that in America is treated in special groups. If you do not live in the US, then you will have to deal with the problem yourself. It is not even customary for us to address such questions to a psychologist, since the population is not accustomed to trusting their difficulties to a complete stranger, and even paying a lot of money for it. Only a few use the advice of a qualified specialist, while the rest try to figure it out on their own.

Love addiction in modern conditions of life occurs quite often. According to some, attachment of extreme strength is, on the contrary, good. But such an attitude as a result just leads to a break in relations.

Signs of love addiction

There are some common symptoms that indicate the presence of a love addiction:

1. The occurrence of anxiety due to the long absence of a loved one;

2. Love addiction gives rise to an unreasonable feeling of jealousy. There are negative feelings, even when the partner is just talking to a member of the opposite sex;

3. Constant need for confirmation of love for your person;

4. Expectations from the companion of complete submission to your will;

5. Fear of loneliness and fear of being abandoned. The desire to completely possess a person.

6. Habitual behavior, thoughts and feelings are distorted beyond recognition.

Often, love addiction manifests itself when a person no longer perceives his soul mate as an independent and free person, considering him just a continuation and addition of himself. At the same time, phrases like: “We are one”, “You are the meaning of my life”, “I cannot live without you” sound. It is with these words that people dependent on love clearly demonstrate their fear of being abandoned.

What can be done to overcome love addiction? First of all, learn to trust yourself and be more confident. To do this, psychologists recommend conducting auto-training. If these exercises are regular, they can work wonders. And you will definitely be convinced of this! You can come up with phrases for self-hypnosis on your own. These can be statements about a happy life, a good job, beloved friends, good health, evidence that you are happy and loved, etc. Repeat the selected phrases 20 times before going to bed, and also after waking up. Receptions from the same series will be effective:

- every time you turn on the water, mentally imagine how your love for a person goes away with the water;

- imagine him doing everyday, not the most personal physiological affairs - this perfectly eradicates the unhealthy adoration of the second half.

All of the above is more related to working on your own psychological state and is very useful in raising self-esteem. But after all, many are interested in how to get rid of love addiction by radical methods. This is a logical desire. Don't sit idly by, take action!

See also: - the answer is in the sign of the zodiac

1. Forbid yourself any thoughts about the object of your addiction. After all, if passion has become destructive, decisive measures must be taken. Get ready for the breakup to be painful. Your main task is to try to make mental trauma minimal. To do this, translate emotions into a rational sphere and learn to control them. Mentally isolate yourself from the object of your unhappy love with the help of an imaginary wall. Remember: you are an independent and strong person and you can overcome your weaknesses.

2. If you understand that you cannot change your attitude towards your partner, it is better to disperse. Find the strength within yourself and destroy everything related to your loved one: photos, gifts, Internet entries about your soulmate, a diary dedicated to your relationship. Don't look for casual encounters with your ex and get rid of all the contacts you can reach. Avoid any communication. Remember: a feeling that is not supported by personal meetings and communication passes much faster and more painlessly.

3. Make a list of all the worst and most offensive things that your loved one at the time managed to say or do to you. Put it in front of the phone and if your hand reaches for the receiver to call your former love, reread what you have written and your desire will immediately disappear.

4. In order for the relationship to end successfully, express everything you think about the culprit of the occurrence of a love illness on paper or verbally, and there will be no omissions between you. If you do not have such an opportunity, proceed as follows: put a chair in front of you and imagine that your object of unhealthy adoration is sitting in front of you. Tell him how he tortured you, how shameless and callous he is. And then forgive everything and forget the grievances once and for all.

Svetlana came for a consultation to get rid of her addiction. She is 40 years old, she does not drink, does not take drugs, but she feels like a real drug addict. “I can’t imagine a day without Vadim. As soon as he leaves for the weekend to meet with the children from his first marriage, and I’m already crying, I feel like I’m not needed by anyone ... And I constantly call him. I wouldn't wish that kind of passion on anyone."

Even if the absence of a loved one is difficult to bear, then the idea that he can stop loving is unbearable for a dependent person, and the departure of a partner becomes a disaster. Love becomes a force that cannot be controlled. “I want him to love me to death,” says 34-year-old Olga, “otherwise he’d rather die.”

suffocating hug

Love addiction, like other addictions, makes a person strive for the object of passion, while forgetting about himself. A person obsessed with love is often unable to take care of himself: he eats poorly, sleeps poorly, does not pay attention to his health.

Neglecting himself, he spends all his life energy on a partner ... thereby causing him to suffer. All attention, all thoughts and feelings are focused on him and only on him, everything else seems meaningless and boring.

“Dependent people cannot define the boundaries of their personality, they capture a loved one, leaving him no free space,” says Valentina Moskalenko. “When love turns into complete control over a partner, it interferes with the development of a full-fledged sexual and love union.”

Often there is dependence on a partner who treats the lover himself badly. Contrary to popular belief, everyone is at risk of becoming a victim of such passion: men and women, young and mature, rich and poor.

Another case is when violent emotions generally become the meaning of existence. Such a person literally “falls” into love. This leap is often driven by the need to dampen the sense of the meaninglessness of life.

“We are looking for in romantic love not only earthly love and human relationships. We are looking for religious experiences and a passionate desire to comprehend our inner world in it, ”says the American Jungian psychoanalyst Robert Johnson.

In his opinion, passionate love, like true faith, is able to temporarily free us from contradictions and doubts and, like a guiding beacon, illuminate our life, giving it wholeness and certainty, giving us the opportunity to rise above the level of everyday life.

“Everything that relates to everyday life becomes unbearable,” says Valentina Moskalenko. “Man lives only for this jump.” These two situations have a common denominator - the suffering generated by addiction.

Thirst for sacrifice

People get addicted not only from tender, loving relationships. The opposite and no less frequent case is dependence on a cruel, rude partner.

Before work, Marina covers bruises with foundation and thinks: “Of course, with my figure ... But in fact he is good ...”. Anatoly habitually stoops at the next shout of his wife, sighing to himself: “Of course, with my salary ...”

Living in unbearable relationships, enduring humiliation and even beatings, but at the same time blaming yourself - such behavior is typical for those who suffered from the coldness and severity of their parents in childhood.

“If a person is driven by a desire to fill that long-standing spiritual void, then no treatment, even cruelty, can sober him up,” says Valentina Moskalenko. - His feelings (as if through the mouth of his parents) tell him: "You deserve it, you yourself are to blame."

“Those who become dependent on a “sacrificial” position involuntarily choose aggressive partners for themselves, provoking them to humiliating, cruel behavior at the same time, adds transactional analyst Vadim Petrovsky. “In order to get rid of such dependence, first of all, it is necessary to realize one’s desire for suffering inherent in childhood in order to stop communicating with a partner from the position of a victim.”

Steps to release

The psychotherapy of too much love applies the principle of the medieval physician and alchemist Paracelsus: everything is poison, everything is medicine, both are determined by the dose. In other words, moderate use is good, but abuse is disastrous.

“As paradoxical as it sounds, you should not love too much,” says Valentina Moskalenko. - Pay attention to love songs: many of the lyrics exalt the dependent relationship model. For example, the classic "White light has converged on you like a wedge." To understand that such a perception of love and such an attitude towards a loved one is destructive for both, to recognize one's own dependence on a partner is a difficult but necessary first step towards a cure.

The next step is to awaken the senses and build a relationship with yourself. “During therapy, I felt like a refrigerator that had finally been defrosted,” says 36-year-old Anastasia. “Suddenly she raised her head and saw: there were people around!”

“Psychotherapy helps a person to realize who he is, where he is going in life and who he needs as a companion,” explains Valentina Moskalenko. “After all, an addicted person often lives as if under anesthesia, all his feelings are suppressed, because they are too painful.”

Dealing with long-standing experiences and paying attention to the current situation is the task of the third step. Repressed feelings are often found to be related to childhood experiences: the love addict seeks some kind of ideal relationship that he lacked in childhood.

A love addict seeks the ideal relationship that he lacked as a child

The child could be frightened that he was abandoned when his parents went to the store, because they did not explain to him that they left for a short time and would definitely return. If parents considered themselves victims of circumstances, they themselves were dependent - on love, alcohol, anything, then they could not teach their children to be responsible for their lives.

In other cases, parents simply did not give us enough love and affection, and now we spend all our energy on making up for this lack of love.

“But do not think that in this case you will suffer all your life,” says Valentina Moskalenko. “An adult is able to cope with his love addiction: to think about why relationships make him suffer, stop blaming himself and understand that he is worthy of love - the way he is.”

Smooth approach

The opposite of addiction is not absolute freedom or isolation. During psychotherapy, people learn to build relationships that develop gradually - starting with falling in love, through gradual rapprochement and the development of trust.

It is important that each partner moves towards the other at his own speed, in contrast to the situation of love addiction, when a person instantly closes the distance and “sticks” to his beloved.

“The psychological benefit of an addict is that he completely entrusts another to take care of himself:“ I had a bad life, and now you will love me, ”comments Valentina Moskalenko. “But no one from outside can make us happy. We can only find the keys to true happiness within ourselves.”

About the expert

Valentina Moskalenko- specialist in working with addictions, author of the books "When there is too much love" and "Dependence: a family disease?", leading psychotherapeutic groups and seminars at the Institute of Psychotherapy and Clinical Psychology.

/ Love is not born immediately, only desire arises immediately. Those who cannot distinguish between love and desire are doomed to suffer. Those who donate don't love. He who has not found himself cannot yet love./

Angel de Coetier

Love is the gentle warmth of the sun, calm, giving joy, growth, harmony, prosperity and development to both lovers.

Desire, or, professionally speaking, love addiction (addiction) is a blinding flame of fire, greedily absorbing everything, injuring, taking away, insatiable and bringing pain.

This withering feeling may or may not be mutual, but in any case, addiction resembles a drug, and a person who has fallen into such an addiction resembles a drug addict: he soars on a wave of euphoria, shrouded in an illusory reality, which he masterfully creates, based on his own ideas. about the person in contact with him.

That suddenly falls into the abyss of despair and pain, as soon as his ideal ceases to play along with him and meet his expectations.

He cannot live without his “beloved”, like a drug addict without another dose, like a hungry person without bread.

And this addiction can last for years.

Love addiction (addiction) is a disease that needs to be treated, bringing nothing but mental pain and chronic stress.

Unfortunately, love addiction is a very common phenomenon, and due to the prevailing social stereotypes, people very often mistake it for “true love”. After all, when they tell you that what happened to you is an ordinary illness, you go to a specialized specialist, but when there is such a dangerous, beautiful and alluring delusion that you have “true love”, then everything immediately becomes different. Since for “true love” you can give your life, and not just your self-esteem, the ability to rejoice and enjoy life.

This is facilitated by the beliefs learned from childhood “love is evil, you will love a goat”, “love is suffering”, and the statements of parents and relatives, and the literature on which we all grew up, glorifying for the most part precisely love addiction. Tsvetaeva, Akhmatova, Shakespeare, Lermontov… Were they happy?

Causes of love addiction (dependence).

As a rule, people with low self-esteem fall into love addiction, those who lacked parental attention and love in childhood (parents took care of themselves or raised the child very hard), or vice versa, obsessively controlled his every step (the child was too dependent on parents) .

The main feature of love addicts is the lack of self-love.

Often they cannot always feel the boundaries of their "I". Sometimes such people have control problems in which they allow others to control them or try to control others.

There may be self-doubt, impulsivity. They are prone to fantasies and some detachment from reality, create ideals for themselves, or try to play the role of an ideal lover in relation to another person. Often they are characterized by difficulties in expressing their true intimate feelings.

Difference between love and addiction.

Often, people are ready to blame the object of love and the entire opposite sex for the reasons for their love suffering. And rarely does anyone realize that they themselves are the source of their suffering. People independently fill their lives with suffering or joy, depending on their inner state.

Dependence, even at the very beginning of a relationship, is expressed in the insatiable desire for another person and those feelings and sensations that, as it seems to the addict, only a “beloved” can provide, in the desire to control his every step and “acquire it into his property”. A person immersed in love addiction is not interested in anything in life, except for "beloved"; he can’t think about anything else, he can’t talk about anything else (any conversation comes down to what to do with him, how to behave, what to say, where he goes, what he does).

For dependent people, their "love" is suffering and pain.

But love is a positive feeling. Love is an interest in the free development of the object of love. “I love you, but each of us is free (in our opinions, in our decisions). If you feel better without me, I will understand and let you go with wishes of happiness.

Love is joy! It is giving and receiving joy.

The main criterion of Love: we feel good together, and we feel good separately.

The main criterion of dependence: at the first stages - we are good together, but bad without each other, at the later stages - both bad together and bad apart.

Love brings positive emotions and makes everyone stronger, happier, more confident, calmer. A lover most of the time feels harmony within himself, stability, security, confidence, warm and tender feelings for his beloved. Love addiction, on the contrary, carries a lot of negative emotions. And most of the time, the addict is overwhelmed with anxiety, anxiety, fears, insecurity, doubts, jealousy, envy, anger, irritation towards the “beloved”.

Positive emotions during addiction are bright, but short-lived. Even in the happiest moments there is some inner tension and doubt (“happiness is only a moment”).

In love, relationships are built on equal terms: I give you love, you give me love; today there is a lot of me, tomorrow there is a lot of you, we are equal.

In love addiction, the addict is a subordinate, and his "beloved" dominates him. As a result, the addict strives with all his might to earn love, to please the “beloved”, while humiliating himself, he only gives, receiving nothing in return. He is the initiator of joint events, he builds relationships, forgives all insults.

Stages of development of love addiction (dependence).

1. Immediately after several meetings, euphoria sets in, similar to drug intoxication. Literally, “the roof is going”, and from that time on, a person begins to live only with his “beloved”. The signs of the first stage of this “love” are as follows: it is so good with it that wings grow, and without it it is infinitely bad and painful. And in my head there is only one desire: “Give him (her) to me!”.

2. The desired does not coincide with reality. Doesn't reach the "favorite / th" to the ideal. He (or her) is never enough. As with drug addiction, there is a need to increase the dose all the time, but the dose of "love". What made you so happy yesterday is no longer enough today. As a result, it’s bad without him (without her), and it’s bad with him (her), since he (she) does not meet the ideal, expectations are destroyed.

The happiest period at this stage is the anticipation of the meeting (euphoria returns for a short time), however, the addict also gets euphoria in anticipation of the next dose. And the greater the necessary, desired dose of “love” for you, the more the object of love does not coincide with the ideal, the stronger the disappointment during and after the meeting, leading to suffering, pain. After all, when a drug addict is not given a dose (what I deserve), he / she suffers. “Beloved” is frightened by this, it seems to him that he is being drawn into the “pool” by an unknown force, and he is “saved”, avoids the “addicted” and thereby increases his suffering.

The “addict” has a need to improve, change the “darlingly beloved”, fit it to the “ideal”. At this stage, all negative emotions appear: guilt, fear of loss, jealousy, anger, desire for revenge, despair, disappointment.

3. Often addictive relationships acquire a "smoldering" character, with final "departure" and "happy returns", and can last for years. It is a pity that only short-term flashes of euphoria in the vast expanse of pain, resentment, misunderstanding and loneliness against the background of the depletion of vitality that is observed in these relationships adorn these years.

Consequences of love addiction.

Someone suffers from love addictions all his life, spending years on each of them, falling into dependence on one person or another. More often these are women, they continue to ride these "carousels", indulging themselves with illusions about "halves" and groundless hopes for the appearance of "true love". It is women who are prone to love addiction (addiction) who most often ask the question “How to let a man go?”, “How to survive a breakup?”, “How to forget an ex?”.

And someone, having experienced such pain once, is disappointed in “love”. As a rule, these are men. If they were once “burned”, they try not to repeat such an experience, but rather, “control” the situation. They can unconsciously take revenge on other women: seek love, "tame", and then suddenly abandon or play with their victim, using it. They intuitively feel that if suddenly, in the midst of a romantic relationship, they suddenly disappear without explanation, then the woman will become dependent, since she cannot explain his disappearance in any way, and the hope of his return will remain. Then you can reappear, have fun and disappear again. This behavior gradually becomes habitual and they begin to deliberately manipulate women. Men who have many partners or are in search for a long time have experienced a similar tragedy in their time. And thus, by running away, they are "saved" from a possible love addiction.

In this case, the looping of such manipulative relationships deprives a man of the opportunity to experience true intimacy with a woman, to know himself through relationships, to save energy for creativity and self-realization. After all, love addiction depletes his potential, deprives him of vital energy, wasted on unconscious revenge and fear. In addition, the manipulator deprives himself of both trust in the world and faith in himself. Add here a guilt complex, and a constant feeling that you have been playing other people's roles all your life, because “you need to behave in a certain way”, and not the way you want.

But the most unpleasant thing is that, having experienced such “love” once, people no longer recognize another love that gives harmony, peace, energy and self-realization. In a joyful and calm feeling, they lack thrills, tension; and they, like drug addicts, no longer notice other opportunities to realize their vital energy as in such repetitive relationships.

What to do?

Unfortunately, love addiction (dependence) is exactly what it is quite difficult to heal yourself from.

To begin with, the dependent person is inside the relationship system, in a state of pain / euphoria, and it is sometimes difficult for him to take a sober look at the situation himself, and an impartial view from the outside is very valuable here.

By "healing" I don't mean just getting out of such relationships with minimal losses and a quiet existence, until the next similar experience. Most mature people are capable of this if they have enough mental strength and experience.

Here I mean to explore and change precisely the underlying causes leading to such a state. Heal once and for all, without relapses. To become truly free and whole, and not someone's coveted "half". With such a desire, it is still better to go to a specialist. This does not mean that interaction with a psychologist is the only possibility and that he is guaranteed to "cure" you.

Simply because it is impossible for a person to walk his path, so the entire responsibility for following this path will still remain with you.

However, there is an opportunity to use the knowledge of a person who knows this road, and simply voice your request to him, as a reliable guide (to formulate your desired state, where you want to get). As in a big journey into the jungle, the guide knows how to get food and knows how to navigate here. He will be there and teach you what he knows and can do himself.

Of course, you can learn a lot from books and articles, you can promise yourself that you will find time to painstakingly investigate the reasons for your behavior, emotions, thoughts, and actions. It's all a matter of your readiness, perseverance, access to internal resources and motivation, as well as how fast and what you want to achieve.

There are special approaches and practices that help to live through this whole complex of feelings, thoughts, habitual ways of responding to the end, to study and say goodbye to it forever. Moreover, having consciously overcome love addiction, a person has a chance to learn to love himself unconditionally and build not only harmonious relationships, but also to enter the path of maximum personal efficiency and creative potential.

During a dependent relationship, under the influence of sluggish stress, a person loses vital energy. He becomes devastated. And if there is no life force, then there is no self-realization.

In the case of love addiction (dependence), it is especially important to learn to clearly feel and protect your boundaries, love yourself, trust yourself and the world. Have the courage to be yourself, and not to wear the mask of the ideal. Fill your life with joy, awareness and positive energy.

And then, the newly acquired strength will allow you to attract truly harmonious people and circumstances into your life.

A person who has successfully and consciously gone through love addiction will no longer find himself in a similar situation, not understanding what is happening, he will see it from afar, observe, realize and ... do completely different things. After all, life is too good to waste it on pain and suffering.

List of used literature:

1. Stanton Peel, Archie Brodsky "Love and Addiction" - M.: Institute for General Humanitarian Research, 2005 - 384 p.

2. Dean K. Delis, K. Phillips. "The paradox of passion: she loves him, but he doesn't love her"

3. Shostrom Everett "Manipulator"

4. Materials of the sites http://azps.ru, http://www.5da.ru

How to get rid of love addiction: treatment methods

The assertion that true love is God's reward, the brightest and noblest feeling, does not require proof. Each person wants to meet the only soul mate, and is immensely happy when Cupid's arrows hit his heart. However, there is a category of people whose feelings for a partner have reached enormous proportions and crossed the border of the norm, transforming into a destructive, uncontrollable, abnormal love addiction.

Pathological attachment to a companion is one of the forms of behavioral addictions. This destructive obsessive passion, depriving the dependent subject of the ability to objectively assess the real situation and take a sober look at his own status. Love addiction destroys inner harmony, deprives of peace of mind, rewards with pain, suffering and depression.

Subservient passion for a person of the opposite sex is similar in symptoms to alcohol addiction and drug addiction. Like other types of addictions, love addiction destroys the personality and is accompanied by excruciating “withdrawal”. An irresistible craving for a partner deprives the subject of autonomy, independence and freedom. A person who has fallen into the bondage of Cupid ceases to exist in the real world, creating his own fantasy reality, in which the only important being is the object of her love. A person who has been captured by manic passion is convinced that love and suffering are inevitable companions. She mistakenly believes that showing her feelings means sacrificing herself.

Love attachment promises the development of dangerous mental disorders, including depression, anxiety-phobic conditions, constitutional psychopathy. Bondage from a partner is the path to degradation, complete loneliness in the world of black blues.

How to set an anomaly: signs of love addiction

Although the signs of addiction are obvious and vivid, the subject who has fallen into the captivity of Cupid is not able to detect the symptoms of love addiction on his own. What signals notify that matters of the heart are beginning to methodically destroy a person’s life? Psychotherapists point to the following signs confirming the development of love addiction.

Signal 1. "Voluntary" sacrifice

A person voluntarily and consciously devotes his life to creating comforts for the chosen one and satisfying his needs. The dependent subject ignores his own interests and desires, becoming a nanny and nurse for his companion. The landmark of the activity of a person who has fallen into the ranks of the victims of love is the creation of comfortable living conditions for his partner, the prevention of his difficulties, the solution of all problems.

Signal 2. Denial of individuality

A typical symptom of love addiction is the refusal of a person from his own point of view. This situation, when a dependent person completely "dissolves" in the world of his partner, begins to look at what is happening through the eyes of his chosen one, accepts his opinion as the only true theory. The individual develops behaviors borrowed from the object of love. A person refuses personal hobbies and hobbies. Such a subject gradually loses its uniqueness, serving false purposes.

Signal 3. Loss of the meaning of life in the absence of a partner

The most terrible symptom of love addiction is the conviction of a person that his life is aimless and meaningless without a chosen companion. Such a subject is sure that if his chosen one is not around, he will die in splendid isolation. The thinking of a dependent person is fixed on one goal - to keep a partner by any means. A sick individual develops morbid jealousy. He tries to find strong arguments confirming the betrayal and cooling of feelings in his chosen one.

How to overcome love addiction: the path to freedom

Love addiction leads to the destruction of a unique individuality and merging with a group of unfortunate faceless victims. Manic passion leads to moral devastation, the formation of deep depression, the development of anxiety disorders and personality degradation. Therefore, overcoming obsessive craving for a life partner is a necessary step to maintain uniqueness, independence and happiness. How to get rid of cruel love addiction? We follow the advice of psychologists.

Getting rid of love addiction is impossible without recognition: the problem exists. It is necessary to realize that the current slave situation interferes with normal life, deprives one of energy and strength, and does not promise any benefits in the future.
It should be remembered that it will not work to overcome the devilish addiction and heal love wounds in a matter of days. You need to be patient and be prepared for a long, painstaking work to change your own personality.
It will not be possible to overcome love addiction if a person has low self-esteem: he is used to underestimating his own capabilities and does not recognize the presence of personal virtues. It is the lack of self-respect that leads the individual to the ranks of the victims of love. Therefore, it is necessary to improve the opinion of one's own person and get rid of complexes. Assistance in the formation of adequate self-esteem is provided by psychological training.
To eliminate love addiction, you need to stop being an unconditionally submissive person, learn to say a firm “no” and defend your own interests. People around should not be allowed to push around and use a weaker person to satisfy their desires. You should stop asking for forgiveness for the slightest mistake and express your opinion clearly, without fear that a different point of view will cause inconvenience to your partner.
To stop love bondage, it is necessary to abandon roles in the background. You need to identify the traits of the victim in your characters and work on developing leadership qualities.
To remove the mark of a serf from oneself, it is necessary to spend one's vital energy on developing one's own talents, and not on satisfying the whims of other persons. Remember that each person builds his own destiny and is responsible for his actions. You should not constantly look back at others, compare yourself with others, you should preserve and develop your multifaceted inner world.
The hardest step to get rid of a fatal passion is to predict your future and assess the existing prospects. This action requires courage, determination, honesty and objectivity. It must be admitted that the present position of the victim will lead to the complete annihilation of the personality. It is necessary to make an unambiguous choice - to continue to exist, chained to the chains of love, or to be a free and happy person.

Hypnosis for love addiction

What to do if it is very difficult to get rid of love addiction on your own, if the treatment carried out by a psychologist does not bring liberation? Indeed, for many people, obsessive attachment to a partner becomes a very complex problem that cannot be solved with the help of psychotherapy. There are many unobvious and unconscious factors in love addiction, which are often perceived by a person as insignificant details. However, such "insignificant" links in the life program have a huge impact on the outlook of the individual and the style of his behavior. In such difficult situations with love addiction, an important step should be taken: seek help from a hypnologist.

What is hypnosis for love addiction? Hypnosuggestive therapy is a joint collaboration between a hypnotherapist and a client, focused on the complete release of the patient from stubborn irrational passion. A hypnologist is an experienced guide to the world of the subconscious, a competent expert who understands the inner world of his patient. Through immersion in hypnotic trance, the hypnologist helps the client to identify the destructive components of thinking and aims to bring about huge changes in self-perception and worldview.

Staying in a state of half-asleep provides an opportunity to voluntarily acknowledge the existence of a problem and abandon the role of a victim. Hypnosis techniques help to make a decision and make changes for recovery from love addiction. A person gains courage and becomes able to face the problem, abandoning the imposed dogmas.

Through suggestion, the hypnotherapist helps the addict to change by teaching constructive coping techniques, giving rational ideas for building a happy life. Treatment of addiction with hypnosis is necessary precisely in order to find a way to inner harmony and comfortable interaction with the outside world.

With the help of hypnosis, the patient gets rid of not only longing, resentment and hopelessness. The subject establishes the reasons why he fell into the network of harmful addiction, identifying the provocateurs of flight from himself. As a result of the treatment of addiction with hypnosis, the victim of love slavery gets rid of the feeling of his own insignificance, uselessness, hopelessness of the future and receives personal freedom.

Hypnosis sessions help not only to let go of feelings that destroy a person, but also to prevent the development of depressive conditions in the future. The hypnologist directs the patient to solve the internal problem in a constructive way, which makes it possible to avoid the development of another pathological attraction in the future.

Hypnosis treatment for addiction can:

completely overcome the syndrome of learned helplessness;
learn to love, respect and unconditionally accept your personality;
get rid of inferiority complexes;
develop self-confidence;
overcome intrusive thoughts;
eliminate irrational fears;
objectively assess your potential;
establish the required boundaries of personal freedom;
develop a realistic perception of the characteristics of other people;
form a positive outlook on life;
recognize yourself as the master of your own life.

Hypnosis treatment gives a person the desire to move on, helps to gain momentum to create a happy life in which there is divine love, and there is no place for manic love addiction that destroys the personality.

A strong passion, an attraction to a particular person as a drug, a painful experience of separation is a love addiction (addiction from the point of view of scientific psychology). It has a very distant resemblance to love and falling in love, but is very similar to gambling, drinking, smoking. Distinguishes between a real feeling and the psychological problem of co-dependence, a constant feeling of mental pain, which is not characteristic of love filled with healing happiness.

Symptoms of love addiction

Only a person who is able to sensibly assess his condition can think about how to get rid of love addiction. As a rule, a codependent woman or man is so exhausted by the constant feeling of the inexplicable severity of life and the need to constantly control their other half that sometimes they subconsciously begin to look for the causes of such psychological discomfort.

If you notice these symptoms in yourself or your loved ones, then you need to take all possible measures as soon as possible in order to help yourself or others.

The need for remote control

Love addiction to a man or woman is easily detected if you constantly feel the need to call or write to your partner.

If he does not return calls or texts, the dependent party becomes depressed very quickly. At the same time, a sharp decrease in self-esteem is observed, a feeling of hatred and dislike for oneself develops.

Unstable relationship with partner

With love addiction, the relationship of the dependent party to the partner is unstable. Sometimes it seems that your other half is perfect and the most wonderful qualities are attributed to it. These feelings can very quickly turn into sharp hatred and just as abruptly return back.

The ability to forgive

If the ability to forgive in ordinary life is a valuable quality, then in love addiction it is pathological and even sadomasochistic in nature. A codependent person can turn a blind eye to such actions of his other half, which contradict his entire being, principles and concepts.

Eager to please

Love addiction to a woman, as well as to a man, is characterized by the desire to please a partner. Sometimes codependent people feel really unhappy or empty if they do something that does not lead to positive emotions for their partner.

fanatical attachment to a man is not the norm and brings a lot of suffering to a woman

How to get out of love addiction?

Awareness of the problem

Getting rid of love addiction should begin with the fact that a person is aware of its presence in himself and, according to some of the signs listed above, will be convinced of this. The problem of addiction prevents women and men from:

build harmonious relationships;
create new love relationships;
grow as a person and develop;
dedicate yourself to what you love and fulfill yourself.

Love addiction to a man devastates a woman, makes her powerless and lifeless. The same thing happens with the representatives of the stronger sex.

From the moment when a person realizes that he needs to change his life and get rid of the problem, the movement towards recovery begins.

Ways to get rid of love addiction

Imaging technique

In order to use the visualization technique to get rid of painful addiction, you need to choose the most comfortable and quiet place. You should relax as much as possible, throw all thoughts out of your head and feel a feeling close to a state of trance, hypnosis. Next, you need to follow these recommendations:

Imagine what feelings you would like to experience for the object of your painful attachment - indifference, hostility, disgust?
Imagine a partner in front of you and mentally move him away from you until his features become blurred.
Imagine that this person is doing something ridiculous, unpleasant, remember real moments from life.
Imagine that your partner is growing old before your eyes, covered with wrinkles, decrepit.
Now mentally immerse the object of your affection in a bath filled with something disgusting to you (mice, ants, worms).
Reproduce the image of the person you depend on, analyze the feelings. Is he still loved and desired by you?
Repeat the exercise until you feel that the senses are dulled.

Application of logic

To apply the following technique, you need to relax and think about what awaits you in the future. This method is designed for a sound understanding of the situation and is especially relevant for addiction after a breakup. Imagine how much strength it will take from you in a relationship in which you will always strive to please and adjust to your partner. You will not be able to relax, short moments of euphoria will be replaced by long gray days of worries and worries.

As a sane person, you must understand that everyone in life deserves happiness, but to depend on another person means knowingly dooming yourself to torment.

The "inverted situation" method

The “inverted situation” method is very effective for getting rid of love addiction. You should not see only virtues in the object of sick love. Learn to think about him in a different way: the ability to save money is stinginess, a good lover is "training" on the side, etc.

It may seem somewhat cynical, but in fact the technique is effective and leads to a quick recovery.

Replacement Method

In especially difficult cases, when attempts at self-persuasion, self-persuasion, visualization do not help, and you do not know how to cope with the state of emptiness, you need to start looking for an interesting person who can captivate you. It is important not to “throw yourself into the pool with your head”, but to find, for example, a friend with whom it will be really interesting for you to spend time. Thus, you will fill your thoughts and feelings with new sensations. The main thing is to control yourself and not fall into the same trap again.

Energy redirection

Since your fate is solely in your hands, try to do everything to direct your forces instead of constant calls, surveillance and random meetings to creation. Paint pictures, hit a punching bag, work for three. You should be able to push all unnecessary thoughts out of your head. This is a good prevention of love addiction.

Communicate with people who will inspire you with the idea of human self-sufficiency, because they themselves are.

The more you try to understand yourself, the more likely you are to heal. Unfortunately, this task cannot be entrusted to anyone, even a psychologist.