About Attentive attitude to people ()

At the school where I work, there is a class where teachers go to work in a not very happy mood. There are 30 children in this class. And we know that now many children are hyperactive, very nimble, agile, and also ... not very well-mannered. And among these 30 there are six or seven of these students. And it is not surprising that they are often discipline breakers in class. Some guys support them, others try to put things in order in the classroom, calming those who have gone out and about. The result is a general noise of thirty voices. And you need a lot of knowledge, patience, understanding to pick up the keys for each child. After all, it is important for a teacher that all thirty know what a noun is, how to open brackets correctly, or where the Pacific Ocean is.

This is where an attentive, respectful attitude towards the child helps. The attitude is not as to the educated, but as to the person. To a person who can offer a wise solution in some matters. For example, when organizing the presidential elections at school, one of the presidential candidates suggested choosing a “leader, not a president,” because “all the same, we will all work together, whoever has time does the job, and the leader coordinates the work”. After all, a person thinks correctly. At school, the main job is study. And those who want to help teachers in the teaching and upbringing process get the skill of social activity during school years. And in this process, at different stages, in different events, everyone can become a leader.
So it is in this class: a careful acquaintance with the guys revealed their strengths and weaknesses. One needs to be supported by praise, the other should be forgiven for the unlearned lesson, the third should be told that the teacher makes comments for his benefit, that for the remark you need to say "thank you" mom, for example. And then each child feels himself needed by the teacher, he tries to be better, he is ashamed not to complete the task. One of the children (not very disciplined) was instructed to check every day before classes in a group of children for the presence of written homework in their notebooks. One day the teacher finds out that the examiner himself did not do the work at home. The teacher forgave, on the condition that this will not happen again. The elated child again began checking classmates' notebooks. This situation was repeated twice more, but the teacher patiently listened to the reason, with understanding allowed to work further. Now the guy himself does all his homework and keeps others under control.
Our children are a reflection of their parents. It is also important for parents to help establish contact with their child. When the mother of one of the girls in this class came and said that she was a "poor student" at school, and therefore the child has problems, the teacher was surprised. The girl had no problems with learning - the child is smart, problems with discipline. And when the mother began to bring the girl to school so that she would not be late, when the mother did not become lazy at least to look through the homework, the girl became much more cheerful, she had less aggression, her classmates were drawn to her.
I read somewhere that if a person spends 2.5 hours daily at a computer, then with an average life expectancy of 70 years, we will spend 6 years on a computer. And when polling parents to the question "How much time do you spend communicating with your child?" the answer was received: an average of about 30-40 minutes a day. I think comments are superfluous.
It is very important that our children feel our attention, feel the interest of an adult in his life. Not only in learning, but in life. So that the relationship to the little person was like a relationship to a person with their own interests, their own understanding of the current moment. Then every minute of communication with the child, both in the lesson and outside the lesson, will only bring joy.

Don't be content with a superficial glance. Neither the originality of each thing nor its dignity should elude you.

M. Aurelius

Unfortunately, we must admit that these days a very large number of people suffer from the lack of such an important quality as attentiveness.A person can be fully endowed with other positive qualities, but if at the same time he is not attentive, this can, if not cross out, then significantly reduce the person's ability to realize himself in full. Psychologists, teachers, various business coaches speak about the need to develop attentiveness. From this we can conclude that mindfulness as a quality is necessary for us in almost every area of \u200b\u200blife.

How attentive are you? To answer this question, let's look at what kind of person can be called attentive. Mindfulness can manifest itself on two levels. The first is the direct perception of the information received and the ability not to miss a single detail. An attentive person will never pass by the so-called "trifles" that everyone else may well consider "insignificant." This ability allows you to make the right decisions, since the maximum number of parts is taken into account. And this applies not only to work or study, but also fully applies to our everyday life. Those who carefully study the price tags in stores, while the rest just walk by, know exactly what and where to buy and how to save money at the same time. Well, the fact that mindfulness is necessary in order to achieve significant success in school or at work is not even worth saying.

There is also another level of interaction with the world, where being considerate on your part can do a great job. It's about relationships with others. In this sense, attentive can be called a person who shows attention to others, sensitive and responsive. An attentive man will always open the entrance door in front of the lady, or help the old woman cross the road, noticing that he does not dare to do it on his own. Of course, people especially value such an attitude towards themselves, so an attentive person enjoys special recognition from others. As you can see, mindfulness is a very useful quality and you need to develop it in yourself. We can give some tips on how to do this.

First of all, when taking on something, try not to be distracted... Focus on what you are doing. In this case, you will be able to notice much more useful details.

Do not hurry. As you know, haste is needed only when catching fleas. Any business must be done calmly and slowly. In this state, you will definitely not miss any important moment, which means that you will take into account all the details.

Train your observation... Try, for example, on the way to work, to remember as many different little things around as possible. How the passerby was dressed, what license plate the car had, etc. It is clear that you may not need this knowledge at all, but on the other hand you will learn to pay attention to the little things that may turn out to be significant in the future.

Develop memory... In order to remember those "small details", you need to have a good memory. Therefore, learn more poetry by heart, or learn another foreign language. This will help develop memory.

Try to give your thinking apparatus enough rest. It has been noted that if a person, for example, does not get enough sleep, this can lead to a significant loss of mindfulness due to the fact that the ability to concentrate is lost. Therefore, sleep and rest as much as your body requires.

As for the development of attentiveness to the people around you, here you need to learn, first of all, to show a keen interest in them. If you see that you can help, do it. Your ability to independently notice that a person needs help and will be regarded by others as being attentive. In addition, you can always ask a person if he needs your help, this is also a manifestation of attentiveness.

How attentive are you in everyday life and to those around you? Do you always notice that someone needs help? Are you attentive to the little things? Share your opinion with us, we will post it on our website.

This means a transition to a certain level of development, when attention is already enough not only for oneself beloved, and it is no longer possible to just forget about some things that you didn’t care about before. Also, it means the development of the brain, since you can already imagine how actions and actions will be reflected in the future, the ability to walk the path of least harm, greatest benefit and moral truth.

23/08/03, talebetka
Carnegie and Weller should be burned in the first trash can they come across, they have nothing to do with it. Everything they wrote on this topic is obvious and has been known to people since the time of the king of the peas. If we are to be attentive, then it should be sincere, its own, without book hints. I don't even know what contributes to this. Apparently, some kind of inner desire, respect, maybe a good upbringing. By the way, disinterested attention is a rarity. The same Carnegie teaches to be attentive only for the purpose of getting attention in return.

23/08/03, talebetka
And why should I agree that attention to people is always conditioned by selfish motives? 0 - hence the statement that all people are egoists. Maybe so, in every human act, with desire and skill, selfishness is seen. Some are so trained in this vision that it is impossible to dissuade them. (The harmful influence of books. Hehe.) 1 - Yes, the common truths that are familiar to everyone, but not all of them - the truths, follow. Because it is not always convenient, necessary, profitable, simple, and so on. Where are these people, where are these people .. In the same place, where are the people who read Carnegie. Do you have any guarantees that at least 30% of the people who seemed attentive to you have studied Carnegie? 2nd, here is the detrimental influence of literature. “Ah, I did a good deed. What a fine fellow I am, how significant I am ”the brain gives a signal, the body rejoices for half an hour, or an hour, or 2 .. right? Hehe. 3 - I will no longer consume pretentious phrases, paragraph 3 repeats paragraph 0.

25/08/03, Brom
Man, by nature, requires attention to his person. Therefore, you need to treat people accordingly, with attention (and understanding, of course): every hour, inquire about the health of your loved ones (they will be imbued with your concern), at night (as often as possible) call your friends and subtly ask if everything is calm and whether you have a sound sleep ( after receiving an affirmative answer, sigh with relief and wish good night), convene collective (!) meetings to solve problems in the personal life of one of your comrades, help others absolutely IN EVERYTHING, especially (!) when no one asks for it (this is just out of courtesy , do not hesitate), strongly give others advice and boldly demand to follow them, and finally remember: EVERYONE will appreciate your attention when you arrange a surprise for your friend in the form of an unforeseen visit to visit (a vivid example to follow - Winnie the Pooh) - believe me!

25/08/03, Nafanya
I don’t know .. It’s probably great when, through the frantic rhythms of life, someone remembers about you, about your problems. Attentive means sensitive, that is, say, when you feel bad, an attentive person will not sit and itch: "Poor you, poor! As I understand you! Here I have it last week ..", he will understand that such a bazaar is for you now it is not needed, and will just sit next to it and hold the hand. And good.

06/05/04, Offended Sporty
I love it when people, in particular, are attentive to me, especially at a party, when I am shy :)

11/12/08, idiosyncrasy
Observing, studying, noticing flaws, discovering weak points and everything that can be used against them in the future is also attention. Mindfulness is necessary for interaction that is as adequate as possible to their properties, self-defense and not causing unnecessary harm to others. At least, to strive for all this, since it is impossible in the absolute.

16/12/09, Nobunaga
Everyone needs attention, care ... But not everyone pays attention to it))

Mindfulness as a quality of a person - the ability to selectively focus the consciousness on your inner world, on some person, external object, phenomenon or activity; the ability to listen carefully to another person, resonating with his consciousness.

Once an old Chinese teacher said to his student: - Please, carefully examine this room and try to find everything in it that is brown. The young man looked around. There were a lot of brown objects in the room: wooden picture frames, a sofa, a curtain rod, book covers, and many other little things. - Now close your eyes and list all the items ... blue, - asked the teacher. The young man was confused: - But I did not notice anything! Then the teacher said: - Open your eyes. Just look what a lot of blue objects here !!! It was true: a blue vase, blue photo frames, a blue carpet ... The student replied: - But this is a trick! After all, I was looking for brown, not blue, objects at your direction! The teacher sighed softly, and then smiled: - This is what I wanted to show you! You have searched and found only brown. The same happens to you in life: you show carelessness - you look for and find only the bad and do not pay attention to all the good! “I’ve always been taught that the worst is to be expected, and then you’ll never be disappointed. And if the worst doesn't happen, then a pleasant surprise awaits me. Well, if I always hope for the best, then I run the risk of disappointment! - Confidence in the benefits of expecting the worst makes us lose sight of all the good things that happen in our lives. If you expect the worst, then you will definitely get it. And vice versa. You can find a point of view from which each experience will have a positive meaning. From this moment on, you will be attentive to everything positive!

When a person develops the habit of listening carefully to the voice of his own mind, soul and conscience, when his behavior is under the close supervision of the mind, when he is attentive to the desires and intentions of others, when he notices the smallest changes in the external environment, we can safely diagnose mindfulness as his manifested personality quality. The happy owner of this quality sees the world more clearly and more consciously, anticipates problem situations and therefore reacts to them more adequately. Mindfulness paired with observation makes a person capable of learning. Mindfulness is a wonderful learner, willing to listen and hear the teacher. The range of her interests, as a rule, is an order of magnitude higher than that of carelessness.

The owner of mindfulness has well developed involuntary attention and the ability to concentrate and focus. Even when engaged in an unloved business, an attentive person instantly mobilizes voluntary attention, concentrates and thoroughly and diligently performs his duties. There is such a parable. The lion felt that he was very old and could no longer get his food by hunting. He began to starve. And then he decided on a trick. He climbed into the cave and pretended to be sick. The animals heard about the lion's illness and began to come to him. And the lion, as soon as they entered the cave, grabbed them and ate them. I decided to come to see the lion and the fox. But she did not enter his cave, but stopped at the entrance. - How are you, king of beasts? she asked. - Welcome, fox, welcome, fox sister! It's good that you came. I miss you so much. But why don't you come in? - said the lion. And the fox answered: - I do not enter because there are many footprints going into the cave, and I don’t see them coming back.

Mindfulness is a personality trait, as a rule, characteristic of outstanding scientists, writers, artists, and inventors. The famous natural scientist Charles Darwin wrote in his autobiography: "I surpass ordinary people in the ability to notice things that easily escape attention, and subject them to careful observation." The same could be said about himself and I.P. Pavlov, who closely followed all the experiments in his laboratories. Therefore, he often knew the results and details of individual experiments even better than those who directly performed them. The writers L. N. Tolstoy, A. P. Chekhov, A. M. Gorky, K. G. Paustovsky and others were very attentive to his surroundings. They could very subtly describe a person after just one meeting with him.

For example, Chekhov “predicted” that a “big man” would emerge from Rachmaninoff. Chekhov met Rachmaninov in Yalta. Rachmaninov was an accompanist at Chaliapin's concerts. Later, Rachmaninov proudly recalled how at one of the first concerts Chekhov approached him and said: "You, young man, will make a great man." In response, Rachmaninov was surprised at this assumption, while Chekhov explained his "prediction" simply - "it is written on your face." Chekhov's extraordinary attentiveness and observation, his attention to detail, without which his literature could not have been, were reflected in everyday life. For example, K.S. Stanislavsky recalled the following incident: “Once a person close to me came to my dressing room, very cheerful, cheerful, who was considered a little dissolute in society. Anton Pavlovich all the time looked at him very intently and sat with a serious face in silence, without interfering in our conversation. When the gentleman left, Anton Pavlovich repeatedly came up to me during the evening and asked all kinds of questions about this gentleman. When I began to ask about the reason for such attention to him, Anton Pavlovich told me: - Listen, he's a suicide. This connection struck me as very funny. I remembered this with amazement a few years later, when I learned that this man had really been poisoned. "

Mindfulness is directly involved in the "cycle of happiness in nature." Mindfulness in relationships takes the form of caution and focus. A man meets a woman. In the candy-flower period of the relationship, he is very attentive and considerate. The expectation of pleasure prompts him to be attentive. Inspired by future happiness, he behaves very carefully and attentively with a woman. After a close relationship, attentiveness somehow withers away, relaxation sets in, a man becomes inattentive and careless. Happiness unfolds and leaves the relationship. Then he clutches his head, lamenting and blaming himself for inattention. Fortunately, I want to believe in these words of repentance, and it, being generous, returns. Time passes, the man relaxes again, and happiness leaves his house. So, there is a cycle of happiness in nature. Therefore, maintaining a relationship is maintaining mindfulness. This is the secret of a strong and friendly family. IN. Ruzov says: "We need to hang a poster in the apartment of the newlyweds:" Be attentive and careful in the next 30 years! " And then even more attentive and careful. Improving relationships means being more attentive to a person, and more careful. Here is the relationship formula. Very simple. Not difficult. There is no need to finish the institutes of psychology. Here's the whole relationship formula in a nutshell. You don't need to know anything else: not behaviorism, nothing else. It is not necessary to study Freud with his mental deviations. Do not. It is enough to know these two words. All. All psychological problems are solved in this case. The person understands what the problem is and he understands the solution method. This is the principle. "

Or another example. A man buys a car. At first he is attentive and careful, literally blows away dust particles from his acquisition. A week passes, and mindfulness is replaced by relaxation, which is expelled by a depeesnik or a kiss with a pillar. After fines or hospitalization, he is again very attentive.

Mindfulness does not extend to everything around. She has a tunnel vision of the world. In interpersonal relationships, mindfulness can stop its keen eye on the desires and intentions of another person, match them with their moral principles, and then show attentiveness to the person in the form of sensitivity, compassion, caring, and responsiveness. An inattentive person receives the labels "callousness", "selfishness", "bad manners", "coldness" and "indifference", and all because the states, needs and needs of others pass by his consciousness.

Mindfulness is a very practical personality trait that helps a person in the most difficult and unsafe situations. In conjunction with rationality, she goes through the lessons taught by life from the first time, without stepping on the "rake" of life for the hundredth time. A young, beautiful tree grew in the middle of the meadow. The Donkey ran through the clearing, gape and flew from all the way to this tree, so much so that sparks fell from his eyes. Donkey got angry. I went to the river, called Beaver. - Beaver! Do you know a clearing where one tree grows? - How not to know! - Get down, Beaver, this is a tree! You have sharp teeth ... - What's that for? - Yes, I smashed my forehead against him - I got myself a bump! - Where were you looking? - "Where, where" ... Gape - and that's it ... Down the tree! - It's a pity to blame. It decorates the clearing. - And it prevents me from running. Get out, Beaver, little tree! - I do not want. - What is it difficult for you, or what? - It's not difficult, but I won't. - Why? - But because if I dump him, you will hit a stump! - And you uproot the stump! - I will uproot the stump, you will fall into the hole - you will break your legs! - Why? - Because you are a Donkey! - said the Beaver.

Petr Kovalev