Makarenko's articles about education. A.S. Makarenko on issues of family education

A summary of Makarenko's radio lecture "General Conditions for Family Education" (1937) and a comparison of the lecture theses with the modern attitude to education.

In this lecture, Anton Semenovich Makarenko, one of the greatest teachers of the Soviet era, speaks to parents about the general principles of family education. This article is a summary of these principles, as well as the author's subjective assessment of their relevance and mention in modern parenting literature.

1. It is easier to educate correctly than to re-educate

Quite an obvious and self-explanatory thesis. Including shared by modern authors.

2. The family is a collective of equal members, but the parents lead the family, the children are brought up in it

Now, when it is so fashionable to talk about children's rights, this simple distinction is forgotten, which entails different duties and different responsibilities. This, of course, does not mean that children have no rights. But the assertion of complete equality is slyness. Child - brought up, i.e. he still not brought up, he is not a formed conscious personality, which is an adult.

Equality, as equality before the law, general social equality - yes. But assertions about the child's subjectivity (i.e., his ability to act independently) are an absolutely harmful phenomenon. And this is what is often meant by modern conversations about the rights of the child.

3. You can not be limited to one child, because. care for him may exceed the useful norm

Regarding the presence of brothers and sisters as a factor in family education, Makarenko writes:

“It can be very difficult for parents to slow down their love for him (the only child) and, willy-nilly, they bring up an egoist.<…>If there are older and younger children in the family, the experience of love and friendship is established between them in the most diverse forms.

It's hard not to agree. Alas, now there are tendencies to be limited to one child in the family. And modern authors of books for parents either do not always pay attention to this issue or directly call for limiting themselves to one baby.

4. It is necessary to decide on the goals of education: is the child a future member of society and a citizen of the country, or “on its own”, just “parental happiness”?

In the modern “parental agenda”, the main part is the concern for the provision of the unborn child in terms of his personal success in life. And this, in general, is normal. But this often overlooks the responsibility of parents to society. But this is - wow, what a responsibility! Will your child become a full-fledged citizen, will he think about other people, about the country, about humanity? Or will he only care about himself? And there is no need to say that the world is “such”, that altruists and “good-natured people” cannot survive in it. We make this world ourselves. Including our children. We will be equal to selfishness, we will teach children only to compete - we will arrange hell on Earth.

As they said in the Soviet film "Salyut, Maria!": "Children grow up, and the fate of the world becomes their fate."

5. Parental behavior is the deciding factor

The second absolutely indisputable thesis, shared by all. Makarenko, just in case, adds that this implies the need for demands on oneself. Parents should not just abstractly "behave well", they should set an example. And for this you need to start doing something (or, conversely, give up something).

In this light, the belief of some parents that there are such pedagogical secrets, the application of which will do a miracle and solve the problem of education, is harmful. Makarenko answers these empty hopes:

“No recipes will help if there are big flaws in the very personality of the educator.”

6. The most important qualities when communicating with a child: seriousness, simplicity and sincerity

Seriousness does not mean pomp. Simplicity should not stoop to frivolity. With sincerity, everything is clear. Rely on these three qualities, and the process of education will be successful and bring joy.

7. There should be no greenhouse education, the child should learn to resist negative influences

Alas, the realities force parents to justifiably deviate from this rule and tighten control. Nonetheless. A good parent should know where his child spends time and with whom his child communicates. He must understand and admit that there will be a lot of negative things in the environment of the child. And the task of the parent is to explain, prompt, direct, if necessary, stop in time. But do not create "perfect purity".

8. The main thing in education is the organization of family life

This, at first glance, a strange statement, follows logically from all the previous ones. According to Makarenko, in family education, it is not so much your conversations with the child that are important, but the correct organization of his and his life, that is, the life of the family. Organization here is understood in a broad sense. It is not just a regime or rules of conduct. This is an account of all the little things (however, there are no little things in upbringing), all aspects of life, both a baby and a teenager. Organize yourself and the child - education will be organic, will be a joy and, importantly, with significant time savings.

Anton Makarenko

Raise children right. How?

Instead of an introduction

From the compiler

The relationship between children and parents is like an unusual football match. At first, the ball is owned by adult, experienced players. But at some point, he inevitably moves to the grown-up "juniors". If the game ends in a draw, great. A draw is harmony in the family. If you win, don't rejoice - it means that you played too hard, and you, quite possibly, face disqualification ...

What are the rules in the game called "education"? It seems that they are repeatedly registered and forever defined. Sometimes it seems like we just can't raise our own children the way we want to. What and how to eat, where to study, how to spend leisure time - everything is decided for us. And suddenly, at one fine moment, we bitterly say: “There was a seemingly normal, obedient child, and suddenly he is rude, slams the door, does not study ... What did we do wrong?”

“I considered myself, boastfully considered myself, a great specialist in the reforging of all kinds of offenders. I thought: “What is a child with a family, is it difficult to re-educate him, this is a trifle.” And as I looked at these children with parents, I saw where our offenders fit.

A murderer, a libertine, a thief, the most desperate “traveler” compared to a child with a father and mother, just a meek lamb ... ”- these words were written almost a century ago by Anton Semenovich Makarenko.

For most of us, Makarenko is a commune and iron discipline. Indeed, Makarenko's worldwide fame is connected, first of all, with his activities aimed at eliminating child homelessness. Thanks to this wonderful teacher, thousands of children who were doomed to a miserable existence received a “start in life”: “I profess infinite ... confidence in the unlimited power of educational work ... I don’t know of a single case when a full-fledged character arose without a healthy educational environment or on the contrary, when a distorted character would have turned out despite the correct educational work. By decision of UNESCO, Makarenko was recognized as one of the four teachers who determined the way of pedagogical thinking in the 20th century.

For the second decade, the 21st century reigns outside the window. And of course, our thinking has changed a lot. But you and I are still the same fathers and children, and the problems between us, by and large, are the same as they were a century or two ago. How can we get children to respect us? How to teach them to coexist with their own kind? How to attach them to the eternal values ​​and instill the right attitude to the contemptible metal? How to achieve obedience without suppressing the personality? And most importantly, how can we, parents, build relationships with children in such a way as to be a true example for them? So that someday (at the Best Musician or Writer of the Year awards) your child will say: “Thank you to my mom and dad ...”

Today, together with Anton Makarenko, we will try to find answers to these and many other questions. And let the master's words be a guiding thread for us: “The educational process is an ongoing process, and its individual details are resolved in the general tone of the family, and the general tone cannot be invented and artificially supported. The general tone, dear parents, is created by your own life and your own behavior.”

Ekaterina Monusova

Who is guilty?

…Dear Parents!

You sometimes forget that a person is growing in your family, that this person is your responsibility.

Let it not console you that this is nothing more than a moral responsibility.

There may come a moment when you lower your head and shrug your hands in bewilderment, and you will babble, perhaps to lull the same moral responsibility:

“Volodya was such a wonderful boy! Everyone was just excited."

Do you really never understand who is to blame?

However, there may not be a catastrophe.

There comes a moment when parents feel the first, quiet grief. Then the second. And then they will notice juicy poisonous fruits among the cozy branches of the family tree. Frustrated parents dutifully eat them for a while, mournfully whispering in the bedroom, but in public they maintain dignity, as if there was no breakthrough in their production. There is nothing tragic, the fruits are ripe, the view is quite pleasant.

Parents do what all scumbags do: the fruits are given to society as finished products ...

When the first “childish” trouble appears in your family, when a still small and weak, but already hostile animal looks at you through the eyes of your child, why don’t you look back, why don’t you start revising your own behavior ?. .

No, you're definitely looking for excuses...

It is easier to educate correctly than to re-educate

Primarily We draw your attention to the following: raising a child correctly and normally is much easier than re-educating. Proper upbringing from early childhood is not at all as difficult as many people think. According to its difficulty, this work is within the power of every person, every father and every mother. Every person can easily raise his child well, if only he really wants to, and besides, this is a pleasant, joyful, happy business. Quite another is re-education.

If your child was brought up incorrectly, if you missed something, thought little about him, or sometimes you were too lazy, neglected the child, then you already need to redo and correct a lot. And now this work of correction, the work of re-education, is no longer such an easy matter. Re-education requires more strength, and more knowledge, more patience, and not every parent has all this. Very often there are cases when the family can no longer cope with the difficulties of re-education and they have to send their son or daughter to a labor colony. And it also happens that the colony cannot do anything, and a person who comes out of life is not quite right. Let us even take such a case when the alteration helped, a person came to life and works. Everyone looks at him, and everyone is happy, including parents. But no one wants to calculate how much they still lost. If this person had been brought up correctly from the very beginning, he would have taken more from life, he would have gone out into life even stronger, more prepared, and therefore happier. And besides, the work of re-education, alteration is not only more difficult work, but also sorrowful. Such work, even with complete success, causes constant grief to parents, wears out the nerves, often spoils the parental character.

What are the goals of education?

Now Let's move on to the most important issue - the question of setting the goals of education. By whom, how and when can the goals of education be set and what are the goals of education?

By the goal of education I understand the program of the human personality, the program of the human character, and in the concept of character I put the entire content of the personality, i.e., the nature of external manifestations and inner conviction, and political education, and knowledge - decisively the whole picture of the human personality; I believe that we, teachers, should have such a program of the human personality, which we should strive for.

In my practical work, I could not do without such a program. Nothing teaches a person like experience. Once they gave me ... several hundred people, and in each of them I saw deep and dangerous aspirations of character, deep habits, I had to think: what should be their character, what should I strive for, so that from this boy, girls educate a citizen? And when I thought about it, I saw that this question cannot be answered in a nutshell. I had to arrive at a more extensive program of the human personality. And, approaching the personality program, I met with the following question: what - this personality program should be the same for everyone? Well, should I drive every individual into a single program, into a standard, and achieve this standard? Then I have to sacrifice individual charm, originality, special beauty of personality, and if not sacrifice, then what kind of program can I have! And I could not resolve this issue so simply, abstractly, but I had it resolved for almost ten years.

I saw in my educational work that yes, there should be both a general program, a “standard” one, and an individual adjustment to it. For me, the question did not arise: should my pupil turn out to be a brave person, or should I raise a coward? Here I allowed the "standard" that everyone should be brave, courageous, honest, hardworking, a patriot. But what to do when you approach such delicate parts of the personality as talent? Sometimes, in relation to talent, when you stand in front of it, you have to experience extreme doubts.

Principles and skill of the educator. About the benefits of facial expressions, the torment of the soul and children's theft

my the main principle (and I thought that this was not only my principle, but also that of all Soviet teachers) has always been: as many demands on a person as possible, but at the same time as much respect for him as possible. In our dialectic, this is, strictly speaking, one and the same thing: you cannot demand more from a person whom we do not respect. When we demand a lot from a person, then our respect lies precisely in this very fact, precisely because we demand, precisely because this requirement is fulfilled, we respect the person.

Mastery educator is not some special art that requires talent, but it is a specialty that must be taught, how a doctor should be taught his skill, how a musician should be taught. Every person, if he is not ugly, can be a doctor and heal people, and every person, if he is not ugly, can be a musician. One is better, the other is worse. This will depend on the quality of the instrument, study, etc. But the teacher does not have such study.

What is skill? I tend to separate the process of upbringing from the process of education. I know that every professional educator will object to this. But I believe that the process of education can be logically singled out and the skill of the educator can be singled out.

It is possible and necessary to develop vision, just physical vision. This is essential for the teacher. One must be able to read on a human face, on the face of a child, and this reading can even be described in a special course. There is nothing cunning, nothing mystical in recognizing certain signs of spiritual movements by the face.

Pedagogical skill lies both in setting the voice of the educator, and in managing one's face.

Today your esteemed director spoke to a boy in my presence. Not everyone can talk like that. I will not flatter and say that there is great talent here, but there was skill here. He spoke angrily to the boy, and the boy saw anger, indignation, exactly what was needed in this case. But for me it was a skill. I saw that the director plays superbly.

The teacher can not play. There can not be a teacher who would not know how to play. We must not allow our nerves to be a pedagogical instrument, we must not admit that we can bring up children with the help of our heart torments, the torments of our soul. After all, we are people. And if in any other specialty you can do without mental suffering, then we need to do it here too.

But sometimes a student needs to demonstrate the torment of the soul, and for this you need to be able to play.

But you can’t just play on stage, outwardly. There is some kind of drive belt that should connect your beautiful personality to this game. This is not a dead game, a technique, but a real reflection of the processes that exist in your soul. And for the student, these mental processes are transmitted as anger, indignation, etc.

I became a real master only when I learned to say “come here” with 15-20 shades, when I learned to give 20 nuances in the setting of the face, figure, voice. And then I was not afraid that someone would not come to me or would not feel what was needed.

And in the educator, this skill is manifested at every step. And it does not manifest itself at all in a paired position, when I am a teacher and you are my student. Paired position is not as important as what surrounds you.

Your parenting attitude matters even when no one is looking at you. And this is not mysticism.

I am alone in the office. …I got angry with someone, I need to do something. I adopt a certain facial expression, and it will reflect on everyone. One will run in, look at me, whisper to another, even in between times, and something will fall into place.

This does not mean that the mood of all children depends on the mood of one person, but one must be able to control one's mood.

If you weep and sob in the same office, this will also be known to everyone and will make a certain impression.

It affects every little thing. Whether you shave every day or not. Do you clean your shoes every day or not.

A teacher who pulls a black crumpled handkerchief out of his pocket is no longer a teacher. Better let him go to a corner and blow his nose there so that no one can see.

But this skill is important for the organization of some special methodological movements.

For example, I practiced such things very often. I could call someone who has sinned to me and reprimand him. But I didn't do that.

I write him a note asking him to come by all means in the evening, by all means at 11 o'clock. I won’t even say anything special to him, but until 11 pm he will walk around waiting for my conversation. He will say a lot to himself, his comrades will tell him, and he will come to me ready. I don't have to do anything with it anymore. I'll just tell him: "Okay, go." And this boy or girl will definitely have some kind of internal process going on.

I imagine that there are some exercises that need to be done in a teacher training institution. We are students: you, you, etc.

They tell me: “You, comrade Makarenko, will now conduct an internship. Suppose a boy stole three rubles, talk to him. We will listen to how you talk, and then we will discuss how you talk: good or bad.

We do not do such exercises, and yet it is a very difficult thing to talk to a boy who is suspected of having stolen, and it is not yet known whether he stole or not. Here, of course, skill is needed not only in staging a look or voice, but even in staging logic. And we, educators, know geography, history, literature, but we do not know what childish theft is. Who knows what it is: chance, crime or necessity?

If all people were very sincere, then many would say that they had at least one case of theft in childhood. And they were not thieves at all. Obviously, we need to think about what child theft is and how to respond to it.

I learned today that your director Comrade Danyushevsky caught a boy who stole soap to take home. Comrade Danyushevsky took the soap, handed it to the same boy and said: here is soap for you, not stolen, but real. Why steal when you can give it to you anyway? He even rewarded the thief.

I was in the same position as a teacher...

About two years ago, a consultation was published in a pedagogical journal. One teacher posed the question: what to do with a child who is bullying at school?

Answer: you need to talk to such a child. The teacher should speak in an even voice, without raising his tone, so that the student understands that the teacher is talking to him not because he is annoyed, but because it is his duty ...

As an ideal teacher, you must speak in a flat voice, and then you will not succeed. He will leave the same hooligan as he came.

I allowed myself a risk and saw that as soon as I allowed myself to take a risk, all Macbeth's witches gathered around me: well, how do you take a risk, well, how do you take a risk?

And we succeeded.

In Leningrad, when I was talking about risk, I received this note: you are talking about risk, but we had such a case at school: a boy was given a bad score, and he hung himself. So, in your opinion, it is necessary to allow the necessary costs?

I was very surprised. It's not against me, but against you. The boy hanged himself not as a result of any risky action of the teacher. If this is a risk, then do not put bad marks, otherwise everyone will be outweighed. You can be afraid to give a bad score, since there is some risk here, but this is nothing.

A bad score is not a risky action. Pat on the head - there is no risk.

Or maybe the boy, constantly spoiled by such non-risk activities, has become suicidal. And every person, if you speak with him for several years in an even voice, will have a desire to hang himself. If all teachers spoke to the child in an even voice, I do not know to what state they could bring the child.

This topic of risk should be considered in pedagogical practice.

As a teacher, I openly laugh, rejoice, joke, get angry.

I want to joke - I'm joking. I want to slowly prick a person - I do it.

Such a risk is not terrible. I had to take more risks than other teachers.

For example, sometimes the general meeting passed a resolution: expel from the commune. And no matter how I fought, no matter how I threatened, they look at me, look, and then again raise their hands: to kick me out. And I kicked out. In eight years, I kicked out ten people. I open the door: go to all four sides, wherever you want, go into the white light.

A terrible risk, but thanks to this risk, I achieved a constant sincere, demanding tone, and everyone knew that such a tone would meet him on the first day, and this was not a surprise to anyone.

But it is especially surprising that all these expelled people wrote letters to me.

I recently received a letter from a man I kicked out six years ago and lost track of.

He writes: I, senior lieutenant so-and-so, distinguished myself in the battles near Lake Khasan, and on this occasion I decided to write you a letter. If you knew how grateful I am to you that you kicked me out then. How I swaggered over you, over the whole team. And when they kicked me out, I thought: am I really so bad that 500 people did not agree to live with me? I wanted to go to you and ask you to come back, and then I decided that I had to make my own way. And now I'm a lieutenant, I distinguished myself and I consider it my duty to tell you about it so that you don't worry that they kicked me out then.

This is so that I won't worry after 6 years. I lost sight of this man, and now he wrote, when he was the winner at Lake Hasan, it was at that moment that he remembered me as one of the reasons for his today's brilliance.

Try, therefore, to predict where each action leads.

It is necessary to raise the question of risk, because the so-called tact begins to sit in the liver not only of the teacher, but also of the pupils.

At that time... I was asked at a pedagogical conference: do you know what tact is?

- And what is it?

“Suppose you are having dinner with some person, and he spat on your plate, and you can tell him: what you are doing is tactless.

And you can do this: take a plate and break it on his head. And there will be no risk.

Sometimes you need to break a plate on your head, bring a human act to its logical limit, and not cover it up.

Isn't tact sometimes an evasion of responsibility?

In front of me is a boy or a girl with whom something needs to be done, but I don’t want to do anything, I’m afraid of risk and begin to act tactfully. Tactfully move away from this case into some nook and cranny.

Maybe I'm wrong, but the results were good.

Two words about pedagogical risk. I spoke about pedagogical risk at one of the meetings in Leningrad in October. They told me: “Here you are talking about risk, and we have one student of the tenth grade who hanged himself because he was given a bad score. And you talk about risk. After all, if we demand so much and take risks, then everyone will be hanged.”

Do you know what I answered them?

Giving a bad score is not risky at all. What is the risk here? How many of these riskless activities do we actually do? The student did not answer me. I gave him bad. What is the risk here? He sat on my neck, I carefully pulled him off and said: “Baby, don’t sit on the teacher’s neck.” There is no risk here. He spat in my face, and I apologized to him. What is risky here? After all, I did not spit on him, but he spat on me. I also apologized to him.

These are all risky activities. One risk-free action, another, third, tenth, twentieth - and a general atmosphere of risklessness is created, such an atmosphere that many may want to get into the noose. Hopeless gray longing: no one demands anything, no one wants anything, everyone worries only about how something might not work out and no matter how offended I am.

Such an atmosphere can lead to very bad moods and very bad results.

If you directly, comradely, openly demand, then this person will never want to hang himself. He will know that you treat him like a person.

Such exactingness makes the team even more cohesive, unites both teachers and students even more.

On issues of ethics, child drinking and smoking

I think that there can be no perfect perfection in matters of ethics. I experienced a lot of complex collisions in my pedagogical work, just in the issue of perfection. Let's take such a simple question: is it possible to drink vodka or not? The Christian will surely say: it is impossible. Complete abstinence, vodka is evil, don't drink. And this maximalism, with all the other Christian instrumentation, it seems even close to some serious requirement. And maximalism hangs in the air. There can be no such maximalism in our ethics.

Guys came to me. Rarely did they come without a bottle of vodka in their pocket. …What to do with them? Here in our Soviet modern school there is a similar, albeit easier, question - smoking. Pupils of the 5th, 7th, 10th grades smoke. What do we educators do? We say with a purely Christian expression on our faces: "You can not smoke" - and they smoke. We again say: “You can’t smoke,” but they smoke. What should we do next? Get kicked out of school? No. The same Christian soul of ours will not allow us to be expelled from school for smoking. The same Christian soul forbids smoking and cannot kick out for smoking. And the natural result is that they smoke, only not openly in front of you, but in the restroom, in the latrine, that is, in the most harmful conditions. What to do? How to fight? Wow question solve it, but we cannot solve it and pretend that everything is fine with us. We forbid smoking, the guys smoke, they enjoy it to the fullest, but we “do not see”, we “know nothing”. All is well. But it's still smoking. Well, what about vodka? I had guys who were used to drinking vodka and who sometimes came drunk from vacation and then sat in my office and cried on my shoulder. What, it makes me feel better that he will cry every day off? Can't be kicked out either. Where to kick him out? I have the last stage of its development. And I knew that if I sat on this double-dealing Christian position, then he would live with me for five years, drink for five years and become a drunkard. And we all know, comrade teachers, that our children live up to 18 years old, then they go out into life, and in life they will drink vodka. We consider it normal. Let him drink after 18 years, I'm not responsible for him. And I couldn't do that. Because my main task was not education, but upbringing.

What I did. I came to the conclusion that I should have taught them how to drink vodka. I invited them to my house, the supply manager bought vodka, I put snacks, cutlery on the table, put napkins, knives, forks, everything is very cultured, I gathered 8–10 people of “notorious drunkards” at 11 pm, when everyone had already gone to bed , and told them: “A strict secret, no one should know about our feast. Nobody". - "Be calm." They are already frightened by this situation. And I say: “I will teach you to drink vodka and give you the following advice. Here are three rules: don't drink on an empty stomach; The second rule is to eat. Repeat. And the third rule - know when to stop, on which glass, so as not to lose the face of a person. These are good rules.

Well, let's do the first exercise. Poured a glass. They drank, they ate. There are those, I ask, who believe that it is necessary to stop at the first? No, they say there are none. We drank a second, a third. I say: "Test yourself, you know yourself." And then someone says: "We need to stop." But there were such brave men who stopped at the tenth.

"Now go to sleep!" And everyone is sober. They respected me and understood that I was doing business.

And here is our Russian business: somewhere in an alley, turn over a liter, fall and immediately fall asleep at the front porch.

A week later, a month later I ask: “Will you remember my rules?” “Thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart,” they say. We will always remember your rules. It never occurred to us that culture is needed in this business and that something can be learned. When you go to the city and buy a bottle, because you need to drink it all, what to do with the rest? Snack? Where will you eat? And that's why it's all wrong. You drink - and that's it ... ”And I taught 50 people in my life to drink vodka like this. I had no other choice. I only started talking about it this year, otherwise I did it in secret.

Exactly the same with smoking. I did not take the path of the maximum, I bought tobacco and cigarettes, and they smoked in my presence, they lit a cigarette at my place. And this is what allowed me to fight smoking by other means, by means of persuasion, medical intervention, and finally, older people smoke on a contract: you smoke, but you don’t let the younger ones smoke. And already under this condition - the younger ones do not smoke. Of course, I could call a doctor, my pupil, and tell him: call me, look at the parrot. And then the doctor called the boy and said: “What is happening with your lungs, you will live for a year.” “What is it?” - "Yes, there is one nicotine." I did not forbid him to smoke, but the doctor scared him. And the percentage of smokers I had was small, it did not exceed 15–20. And very many adult Komsomol boys quit smoking precisely because I did not make a maximalist problem out of smoking.

Who do you want to educate? How to set goals correctly?

Next the question to which the most serious attention must be paid is the question of the purpose of education. In some families, one can observe complete thoughtlessness in this matter: parents and children simply live nearby, and parents hope that everything will work out by itself. Parents have neither a clear goal nor a definite program. Of course, in this case, the results will always be random, and often such parents then wonder why they raised bad children. Nothing can be done well if you do not know what you want to achieve.

Every father and every mother should know well what they want to bring up in their child. One must be clear about one's own parental desires. Do you want to raise a real citizen, a person who is knowledgeable, energetic, honest ... hardworking, cheerful and polite? Or do you want your child to come out greedy, cowardly, some cunning and petty businessman? Give yourself the trouble, think carefully about this question, think at least in secret, and you will immediately see many mistakes you have made and many right paths ahead.

And at the same time, you must always remember: you have given birth and are raising a son or daughter not only for your parental joy. A future citizen is growing in your family and under your leadership... This issue is very important. Once you seriously think about it, and many conversations about education will become superfluous for you, you yourself will see what you need to do. And just a lot of parents do not think about this issue. They love their children; they enjoy their company, they even brag about them, dress them up and completely forget that it is their moral responsibility to grow up as a future citizen.

Can such a father think about all this, who himself is a bad citizen? .. Of course, he cannot ...

But there are other people. They feel like citizens at work and among people, and household chores go on regardless: at home they either simply keep quiet, or, on the contrary, behave in a way that a citizen should not behave. Before you start educating your children, check your own behavior.

Family affairs cannot be separated from public affairs. Your activity in society or at work should also be reflected in the family ... Everything that happens in the country should come to children through your soul and your thought ... They should know that you are a public figure and be proud of you, your successes, your merit to society. And only if this pride is healthy pride, if its social essence is understandable to children, if they are not simply proud of your good suit, your car or hunting rifle.

Appropriate put this kind of question: who educates - the family or the school? And it is very tempting to answer briefly: both the family and the school. That's how they usually answer.

In this case, you need to slightly change the question: who should be the leading principle, the family or the school? I'm very busy with this issue right now. I have been in many families, in many schools. A lot of people come to me, mostly with all sorts of "accidents". And you see that there is no single point of view on this issue. And here's what's original.

I almost did not hear parents say: “We must educate, why does the school interfere?” I didn’t hear the teacher say: “The school should educate, why does the family interfere?”

They usually said this: “We are a school, and you, parents, must raise children, why don’t you raise them?” Parents say the opposite: “We sent the children to school, let the school educate them, why doesn’t it educate?”

It turns out that neither the family nor the school has a desire to seize power in their own hands in the upbringing of children. On the contrary, each component of this pair is trying to shift the entire burden of education on the other.

It's in words. And in fact it turns out even so. Let's say a student is not doing well. The teacher calls the mother or father... and says:

- Your son is not studying well, take action.

- Have to take action.

This means that the teacher thinks: I have few means of education at my disposal, but the family has more of these means. The father or mother will put these stronger means to work, and the boy will become educated, at least he will learn.

Some teachers believe that the family is a more powerful educational factor, that the family can do more than they can.

I will not resolve this issue in one direction or another, I will not speak separately about the teacher and separately about the family. I am a supporter of a different point of view.

Here I have to touch upon my pedagogical convictions, which have often been considered heresy, but which I nonetheless insist on.

I believe that it is impossible to rely on an individual isolated teacher, even if he was a class teacher. Because it is a bet on talent, on ability.

If we are thinking about raising tens of millions of our children - boys and girls - then let's, like any production workers, ask: what is the norm of marriage?

After all, in every production there is a certain defect rate, in some industries the defect rate is 0.5%, in some 1%, in some 2%. There are such industries, for example, the production of optical glass, where up to 50% of defects are allowed.

But in our production, what is the rate of marriage? Have we ever thought about it? Out of 30 million children, how many can be rejected, i.e., brought up badly? Let's think about it.

Let's start with a simple arithmetic problem. If there is a person who says that we will allow a marriage of 10%, then we will call such a person an enemy of the people, because 10% of 30 million is 3 million children.

And what does it mean 3 million children rejected? These are 3 million people with some deviations from our ... moral norm. So I say: no marriage, not one percent. Who can object to me? Who can say that any, even the most insignificant, marriage is allowed in the matter of raising children?

If we rely on an individual teacher, this means that we not only allow 1, 2, 10% - in a word, a certain amount of marriage, but it means that we generally remove this question from the queue: how much marriage will come out, so much will come out - depending on how capable and hardworking the teacher is.

And how many inexperienced, inept, untalented teachers we have. Therefore, we leave all these things to chance - as it turns out.

Let's say that out of a million-strong army of teachers we have a hundred bad educators. Well, then, can we, then, calmly say that a hundred bad educators will give a marriage? Nothing like this. That is not the way to ask the question.

It is impossible to raise the question of education depending on the quality or talent of an individual teacher. If we are talking about an all-Union scale, if we are thinking about educating a whole generation, then we are not single teachers, but representatives of a single teacher's army, a single pedagogical society, in no case have the right to blame everything on one teacher.

So, at least, says my logic, the logic of a citizen who wants to be responsible for the work. That's what my experience says.

I, too, once started with the conviction that an individual teacher is everything, and what exactly he should educate. I also imagined education as some kind of paired process, as they wrote in old pedagogical books: teacher, teacher, teacher, child, child, child - and all this in the singular. So I imagined: I am a teacher, you are a child, we are one on one, and I am educating you.

Now I insist that the correct educational organization, the leading educational organization in relation to the individual teacher, and in relation to the individual student, and in relation to the family, should be the school as a whole, as a single school team.

As soon as we accept such a thesis, an innumerable number of questions of the methodology of school education come upon us. It is unlikely that we will be able to understand all these issues. In any case, let's address these questions.

The first question is about the teaching staff.

The second question is about the children's team led by the teaching staff.

And the third question is the teaching staff and the family.

Whichever question you take out of these three, it breaks down in turn into many separate questions. If we sit with you for twenty evenings, there will be enough to talk about.

Parental demand for oneself, parental respect for one's family, parental control over one's every step - this is the first and most important method of education!

Such miracles do not happen. No recipes will help if there are big flaws in the very personality of the educator.

Parental time pressure: we educate not a child - we educate ourselves

How much time a day do you spend with your child? - you probably had to answer this question more than once in questionnaires for parents. Quite possibly, when answering, you were a little cunning - this figure unexpectedly turned out to be so modest. Business trips, delays at work, "irregular" business - all this leaves us almost no time to take care of children. Crazy life, - we sigh, sending our offspring another CC via Skype or VKontakte. And we put a smiley at the end - a kind of mother's smile. Let him know that you love him, and everything is fine ...

The time we can devote to a child is really very limited. Alas, for most of his life it is not we who raise and educate him - schools, coaches, friends, nannies, grandparents. Therefore, we can only talk about increasing quality communication.

Speaking about the quality of communication, I mean, first of all, the ability to hear his needs. The child is warm when he is understood. In fact, no special time is needed for this. Enough and those small gaps when we are at home. At the same time, it is not at all necessary that every free minute we do something with our son or daughter, play, tell. Sometimes fifteen minutes spent in a heartfelt conversation or an exciting game mean much more to our child than a whole day spent next to their parents. Side by side, but not together.

By the way, about social networks. Amidst the sea of ​​smart thoughts they abound with, I recently fished out this one: “Don't raise kids, they'll still look like you. Educate yourself." This message, as old as the world, is especially relevant in our time. The child will definitely come to the conclusions that seem right to you - he will come if he sees an example in front of him. Because you always educate by your example - there is no other way.

On the organization of the family and the importance of small things

…Father comes home from work at five o'clock. He is an electrician in a factory. While he is pulling off his heavy, dusty, oily boots, four-year-old Vasya is already squatting in front of his father's bed, grunting like an old man and staring into the dark area of ​​the floor with anxious gray eyes. For some reason there is no one under the bed. Vasya flies restlessly to the kitchen, quickly stomps around the large table in the dining room and clings to the path spread out in the room with his legs. Half a minute later, he returns to his father with a calm business jog, brandishing a pair of boots and grimacing at his father with his cute clean cheeks. Father says:

- Thank you, son, but fix the path all the same.

Another flight of the same business run, and the order in the room is restored.

- That's right, - says the father and goes to the kitchen to wash.

The son hardly drags heavy boots behind him and looks with tension at the oncoming path. But nothing, this obstacle passed safely. Vasya speeds up his run, catches up with his father and asks:

Did you bring the pipe? Did you bring a pipe for the locomotive?

- But how! the father says. We'll start after lunch.

Vasya was lucky in life: he was born in the post-October period, his father came across as handsome - in any case, Vasya likes him very much: his eyes are the same as Vasya's - gray, calm, a little mocking, and his mouth is serious and his mustache is pleasant: good run over them with one finger, then each time you suddenly find that they are silky and soft, and just take your finger away, they jump like springs, and again seem angry and prickly. Vasya's mother is also beautiful, more beautiful than other mothers. She has warm and tender cheeks and lips. Sometimes she seems to want to say something to Vasya, she looks at Vasya, and her lips move a little. And you can’t tell if the mother smiled or didn’t smile. At such moments, life seems especially beautiful to Vasya! There is also Natasha in the Nazarov family, but she is only five months old.

Putting on shoes in the morning is the most difficult thing. Vasya has been able to thread a lace into a hole for a long time, but when the lace has already gone through all the holes, Vasya sees that it turned out wrong. Vasya redoes it, and, you see, it turned out right. Then Vasya looks at the shoe with sympathy and says to his mother:

- Shut it up!

If the deed is done correctly, the mother ties it up, and if it is wrong, she says:

- Not this way. What are you?

Vasya casts a surprised glance at the shoe and suddenly sees what is really wrong. He purses his lips, looks at the shoe angrily, and goes back to work. It doesn't occur to Vasya to argue with his mother, he doesn't know how to do it.

- Now so? Stop it!

The mother kneels down and ties it, and Vasya looks slyly at the other shoe and sees the first hole into which he will now fix the end of the lace.

Vasya knows how to wash his face, and he knows how to brush his teeth, but even these works require a lot of energy and close attention. First, Vasya smears himself with soap ... to the very back of his head, then he begins to create a boat out of small awkward hands. He manages to make a boat, manages to draw water into it, but while he brings the boat to his face, his palms straighten ahead of time, and water pours onto his chest and stomach. Vasya does not wash off soap and tooth powder, but smears them with wet palms. After each such technique, Vasya examines his hands for a while and then starts building the boat again. He tries to rub all suspicious places with wet palms.

The mother approaches, without further ado takes possession of Vasya's little hands, tenderly but strongly tilts his head over the bowl of the washbasin and unceremoniously acts throughout Vasya's muzzle. The mother's hands are warm, soft, odorous, they greatly delight Vasya, but the unmastered washing technique continues to bother him. There are many original ways out of this situation: you can also be petulant - protest like a man: “I myself!” It is possible to bypass the incident in silence, but it is best to laugh and, freeing yourself from the hands of the mother, gleefully gleam at her with wet eyes. In the Nazarov family, the last method is the most common, because they are cheerful people. After all, whims also do not come from God, but are everyday experience.

The True Essence of Educational Work- probably you yourself have already guessed this - is not at all in your conversations with the child, not in the direct impact on the child, but in the organization of your family, your personal and social life and in the organization of the child's life. Educational work is, first of all, the work of an organizer. In this case, therefore, there are no trifles.

You have no right to call anything a trifle and forget about it. It would be a terrible mistake to think that in your life or in the life of your child you highlight something large and give this large all your attention, and discard everything else. There are no trifles in educational work. Some kind of bow that you tie in a girl's hair, this or that hat, some kind of toy - all these are things that can be of the greatest importance in a child's life. A good organization lies in the fact that it does not lose sight of the smallest details and cases. Little things act regularly, daily, hourly, and life is made up of them. Leading this life, organizing it will be your most responsible task.

And many Parents are so fond of complaining about the lack of time!

Of course, it is better if parents are with their children more often, it is very bad if parents never see them. But still it must be said that proper education does not at all require that parents keep their eyes on their children. Such an upbringing can only bring harm. It develops passivity, and their spiritual growth goes too fast. Parents like to brag about it, but then they are convinced that they made a mistake.

You must know well what he is doing, where he is, with whom your child is surrounded, but you must give him the necessary freedom so that he is not only under your personal influence, but under the many different influences of life. Do not think at the same time that you should cowardly fence him off from negative or even hostile influences. Indeed, in life, he will still have to face various temptations, with alien and harmful people and circumstances. You must develop in him the ability to understand them, to deal with them, to recognize them in a timely manner. In greenhouse education, in isolated incubation, this cannot be worked out. Therefore, quite naturally, you should allow the most varied environment of your children, but never lose sight of them.

Children need to be helped in time, to stop them in time, to direct them. Thus, all that is required of you is a constant adjustment in the life of the child, but not at all what is called driving by the hand ... For education, you need not a lot of time, but a reasonable use of little time. And we repeat once again: education always happens, even when you are not at home.

... And first of all, you should know what he lives, is interested in, what he loves, what he does not like, what your child wants and does not want. You should know with whom he is friends, with whom he plays and what he plays, what he reads, how he perceives what he read. When he is in school, you should know how he relates to school and teachers, what difficulties he has, how he behaves in class. This is all you should always know, from the earliest years of your child. You should not suddenly learn about various troubles and conflicts, you should anticipate and prevent them.

All this you need to know, but this does not mean at all that you can pursue your son with constant and annoying questions, cheap and annoying espionage. From the very beginning, you must put things in such a way that the children themselves tell you about their affairs, so that they want to tell you, so that they are interested in your knowledge. Sometimes you must invite your son's comrades to your place, even treat them to something, sometimes you yourself must visit the family where these comrades are, you must get to know this family at the first opportunity.

All this does not require much time, it only requires attention to the children and their lives.

And if you have such knowledge and such attention, it will not go unnoticed by your children. Children love such knowledge and respect their parents for it.

The authority of knowledge will necessarily lead to the authority of help. In the life of every child there are many cases when he does not know what to do, when he needs advice and help. Maybe he will not ask you for help, because he does not know how to do it, you yourself must come with help.

Often this help can be given in direct advice, sometimes in jest, sometimes at disposal, sometimes even in orders. If you know your child's life, you will see for yourself how best to proceed. It often happens that this help needs to be provided in a special way. Sometimes you need to either take part in a children's game, or get to know the children's comrades, or visit the school and talk with the teacher. If there are several children in your family, and this is the happiest case, older brothers and sisters can be involved in the cause of such assistance.

Parental help should not be intrusive, annoying, tiring. In some cases, it is absolutely necessary to let the child get out of the difficulty on his own, it is necessary that he get used to overcoming obstacles and resolving more complex issues. But you must always see how the child performs this operation, you must not allow him to get confused and despair. Sometimes it is even necessary for the child to see your alertness, attention and trust in his strengths.

The authority of help, careful and attentive guidance is happily complemented by the authority of knowledge. The child will feel your presence next to him, your reasonable care for him, your insurance, but at the same time he will know that you demand something from him, that you are not going to do everything for him, to relieve him of responsibility .

That's it line of responsibility is the next important line of parental authority. In no case should the child think that your leadership of the family and himself is your pleasure or entertainment. He must know that you are responsible not only for yourself, but also for him ... There is no need to be afraid to openly and firmly tell your son or daughter that they are being brought up, that they still have a lot to learn, that they must grow up to be good citizens and good people, that parents are responsible for achieving this goal, that they are not afraid of this responsibility. In this line of responsibility lie the beginnings not only of assistance, but also of demands. In some cases, this requirement must be expressed in the most severe form, not allowing objections. By the way, it must be said that such a demand can only be made usefully if the authority of responsibility has already been created in the mind of the child. Even at a very young age, he must feel that his parents do not live with him on a desert island.

The first rule is the rule of some kind of norm, especially in the matter of the degree of your intervention in the life of a child. This is an extremely important issue that is often handled incorrectly in the family. What share of independence, freedom should be given to the child, to what extent should “lead him by the hand”, to what extent and what can he be allowed, and what to prohibit, and what to leave to his own will?

The boy went outside. You shout: don't run there, don't go here. To what extent is this correct? If you give immeasurable freedom to a child, it is detrimental. But if the child has to ask about everything, always come to you, always get your permission and do as you say, then the child will have no room for his own initiative, for his own resourcefulness and his own risk. This is also bad.

I said the word "risk". At the age of seven or eight, a child should sometimes take risks in his behavior, and you should see this risk, and you should allow a certain amount of risk so that the child is bold, so that he does not learn to put everything under your responsibility: mom said, dad said , they know everything, they have books in their hands, and I will do as they say. With such an extreme degree of your intervention, the son will not grow up to be a real person. Sometimes a weak-willed person will grow out of him, incapable of any decision, incapable of any risk and daring, and sometimes it happens the other way around, he obeys, obeys your pressure to a certain limit, but the forces that are seething and demanding an outcome sometimes explode , and the case ends with a domestic scandal: "There was a good boy, and then something happened to him." But in fact, this was done to him all the time when he obeyed and obeyed, but the forces inherent in him by nature and developing as he grew and studied, produced their effect, and at first he secretly began to resist, and then openly ...

If you look closely at such phenomena, you will find the limit beyond which you cannot go.

There is another extreme, also often encountered, when they believe that the child should take full initiative and do as he wants, and do not pay any attention to how children live and what they do, and they are accustomed to uncontrolled life, thinking and decisions. Many people think that in this case the child develops a great will. Just no. No will develops in this case, because a real great will is not at all the ability to wish and achieve something, but also the ability to force oneself to give up something when necessary. Will is not just a desire and its satisfaction, but it is both a desire and a stop, and a desire and a refusal at the same time. If your child only exercises in fulfilling his desires and does not exercise in the brake, he will not have much will. Without a brake there can be no machine, and without a brake there can be no will...

Children need to develop the ability to stop, delay themselves. Of course, it's not that easy.

Along with this, one must develop an extremely important ability, which is not so difficult to develop: this ability of orientation. It manifests itself all the time in trifles, in the smallest details. In early childhood, pay attention to your child how to navigate. He says something. At this time, someone else came, or perhaps not quite a stranger, but an additional element of your society, your family: a visitor, guest, aunt and grandmother. Children should know what is needed and what is not needed now (for example, it is not necessary to talk about old age in front of older people, as it is unpleasant for them. First, listen to the person, and then talk to yourself, etc.). The ability of children to feel what kind of environment they are in, and to feel instantly, is an extremely important skill to educate and it is not difficult to educate. It is enough to stop attention on two or three cases and talk with your son or daughter, how your push will produce a beneficial effect. The ability to orientate is very useful and pleasant both for those around you and for the one who possesses and owns it ...

... This is the ability to feel the changing environment around him - it manifests itself everywhere: the boy runs across the street, he must see where someone is walking or driving; and at work he must see where the most dangerous and prosperous places are. This ability of orientation helps him choose where to use his courage and will, and where to put the brakes on. Today I explain all this in a rough form, but in fact, orientation is nuanced when it comes to life.

Orientation ability… lies in the ability to see and understand all the details surrounding a given case. If a person does something, he should not forget that behind him and to the side there are also people who are also busy with something. Orientation is impossible if a person is accustomed to seeing only what is before his eyes, but does not see or feel what is happening around. In economic activity, the ability to orientate is of great importance. While doing one thing, the child should not forget all his other deeds and the deeds of the people around him. When playing a game, the child should not forget that he is surrounded by things that he must also take care of. Fulfilling the order of the parents to buy something in the store, the child must remember that he must return home on time, that after this order he must do something for himself or for the family.

To develop this ability, it is useful to give the child not one instruction, but two or three, to give a conditional instruction or a combined one. Here are the simplest examples of such orders:

“Clean up the bookcase, and by the way, and pick up books by authors. Buy a herring, but if there is a good roach in the store, then don’t buy a herring, but buy a roach.”

The ability to orientate is brought up by constant exercises in economic care, in the knowledge of all the details and particulars of the economy.

…I have There was such a meeting with one mother. She complained that her little boy was being kicked out of all schools.

“I,” she says, “undressed him, hid his clothes. Now he sits in my underwear, and I don’t let him go anywhere. What should I do with him? I'm thinking of giving him as an apprentice to our factory. He is fourteen years old.

I started asking:

- Is your apartment clean?

- No, especially ... there is no order.

“Does your son do anything?”

- No, it doesn't do anything.

- Does he clean up his bed?

- No, it doesn't.

Have you ever gone out of town with him?

- Have you been to the circus?

- Never.

- Have you been to the cinema?

- Never.

- Have you given him anything?

- He doesn't deserve it.

"So what do you want from him?"

I came to the child's home. The mess is terrible. Just poor. Three rooms. Half of the furniture is broken. There are flies lying outside the windows ... There is a thick layer of dust all around.

What kind of educational process can there be in this dust, in this dump of things that no one sorts out, about which no one cares.

If the apartment is perfectly clean, if there are no unnecessary things and if you keep order, your child cannot be very bad. The external order to which you accustom the child from a very early age shapes him, makes him make great demands on himself.

Unfortunately, I did not often observe such an external order in those families where I was invited. How can you raise a child ... if you are not able to organize a dozen inanimate objects in your apartment?

You have nothing to take on for the upbringing of a living person. Invite a hired caregiver or give the child away from home forever. You need to learn how to organize things yourself, you need to teach this to the child, and then the child will more likely become a member of the team. This is what the school should teach those parents who do not know what to do.

Game Guide Rules

account for very often to observe the wrong actions of parents in the management of the game. This error is of three types. Some parents are simply not interested in their children's play and think that the children themselves know how to play better. With such parents, children play as they want and when they want, they choose toys for themselves and organize the game themselves. Other parents pay a lot of attention to the game, even too much, all the time interfere with the children's play, show, tell, give game tasks, often solve them before the child decides, and rejoice. With such parents, the child has no choice but to obey the parents and imitate them: here, in essence, the parents play more than the child. If a child builds something with such parents and finds it difficult to build, the father or mother sits down next to him and says:

"You're not doing it, see how to do it."

If a child cuts something out of paper, the father or mother looks at his efforts for a while, and then takes the scissors away from him and says:

"Let me cut you out. See how well it turned out?"

The child looks embarrassed and sees that his father did really better. He hands his father a second sheet of paper and asks him to cut something else, and the father willingly does this, pleased with his success. With such parents, children repeat only what their parents do, they are not used to overcoming difficulties, achieving quality improvement on their own, and very early get used to the idea that only adults can do everything well. These children develop self-doubt, fear of failure.

Other parents believe that the most important thing is the number of toys. They spend a lot of money on toys, throw all sorts of toys at their children, and are proud of it. The children's corner of such parents is like a toy store. Children, at best, become ... collectors of toys, and at worst, most often, without any interest, they move from toy to toy, play without enthusiasm, spoil and break toys and demand new ones.

Proper play management requires parents to be more thoughtful and more careful about children's play.

…from parents First of all, attention is needed. Your child went out into the yard, got into a group of boys. You must carefully study what kind of boys they are. Your girl reaches out to her friends in the yard, you must know these girls well. You must know what the children around your child are into, what they lack, what is bad in their games. It happens very often that the attention and initiative of one father or one mother help to change for the better the life of a whole group of children in one place or another. Have you noticed that children in winter go down, as if from a hill, from an icy garbage heap. Arrange with other parents, and if you don’t agree, then help the children alone to fill the slide. Make a simple wooden sled for your boy and you will see other boys get something similar. At this stage of the game, communication between parents will be extremely important and useful, which, unfortunately, is very insignificant among parents. It happens that each parent is dissatisfied with the life of children in the yard, but will not talk with the other parent, they will not come up with something together to improve this life, but meanwhile this is not at all such a difficult task, and everyone can do it. At this stage, the children are already organized into some semblance of a collective; it will be very useful if their parents also guide them in an organized manner.

It often happens at this stage that children quarrel, fight, complain about each other. Parents do wrong if they immediately take the side of their son or daughter and themselves get involved in a quarrel with the father or mother of the offender. If your child comes in tears, if he is offended, if he suffers and is already embittered, do not rush to get annoyed and attack the offender and his parents. First of all, ask your son or your girl calmly, try to imagine an accurate picture of the event. It rarely happens that any one party is to blame. Probably, your child got excited about something; explain to him that in the game it is not always necessary to be uncompromising, that it is necessary, if possible, to look for peaceful ways out of conflicts. Try at all costs to reconcile your child with the enemy, invite this enemy to visit and talk to him, get to know his father, find out the situation to the end. In this matter, the most important thing is that you should not see only your child in front of you, but you should see the whole group of children in front of you and bring it up together with other parents. Only in this case you will bring the greatest benefit to your child. He will notice that you are not fond of family patriotism, that you are doing community work, and will see this as an example for his behavior. There is nothing more harmful than the hot aggressiveness of a father or mother towards a family of neighbors; it is precisely this kind of aggressiveness that instills a vicious character in a child, suspicion, wild and blind family egoism.

Main conflict

A bespectacled man with a red beard, a ruddy and cheerful man, suddenly swirled his spoon in his glass, put the glass aside and snatched up a cigarette:

- You, teachers, blame everything: methods, methods! Nobody argues, methods, but resolve, friends, the main conflict!

- What kind of conflict?

– Aha! What conflict? Don't you even know? No, you let him!

- Well, let's allow it, what are you worried about?

He took a delicious puff, shot a ring of smoke with plump lips and ... smiled tiredly:

- You will not allow anything. A conflict from a series of unresolvable. If you say sacrifice this or sacrifice this, what is the permission? Unsubscribe! What if neither of these can be sacrificed?

- Still, I wonder what kind of conflict?

My interlocutor turned to me sideways. Looking at me through the smoke of the cigarette, throwing it over in his fingers, shading with the cigarette the smallest nuances of his sadness, he said:

- On the one hand ... a public duty, on the other hand - a duty to your child, to your family. Society demands from me a whole working day: morning, afternoon, evening - everything is given and distributed. And the child? This is mathematics: giving time to a child means sitting at home, moving away from life ... You need to talk to the child, you need to explain a lot to him, you need to educate him, damn it!

He arrogantly put out his half-smoked nervous cigarette in the ashtray.

I asked carefully:

- Do you have a boy?

- Yes, in the sixth grade - thirteen years. A good guy and studies, but he is already a tramp. His mother is a servant. Rough I don't see him. And imagine, a friend came to him, they were sitting in the next room, and suddenly I heard: my Kostya was swearing. You understand, not somehow there, but simply obscenities.

– Are you afraid?

- Excuse me, how is it "scared"? At thirteen, he already knows everything, no secrets. I think he knows different jokes, all sorts of disgusting things!

“Of course he does.

- You see! Where was I? Where was I, father?

- Are you annoyed that other people taught your son swear words and dirty jokes, and you did not take part in this?

- Are you joking! my interlocutor shouted. - A joke does not resolve the conflict!

He nervously paid for the tea and ran away.

And I wasn't joking at all. I just asked him, and he babbled something in response. He drinks tea in the club and chats with me - this is also a social burden. Give him time, what will he do? Will he fight with indecent jokes? How? How old was he when he started cursing himself? What is his program? What does he have besides the "main conflict"? And where did he run? Maybe to raise your son, or maybe to another place where you can talk more about the "main conflict"?

The "basic conflict" - lack of time - is the most common excuse for unsuccessful parents. Protected from responsibility by the "basic conflict," they imagine healing conversations with children. The picture is blissful: he speaks, and the child listens. Giving speeches and teachings to your own children is an incredibly difficult task. In order for such a speech to produce a useful educational effect, a happy combination of many circumstances is required. It is necessary, first of all, that you choose an interesting topic, then it is necessary that your speech be distinguished by ingenuity, accompanied by good facial expressions; moreover, the child must be patient.

On the other hand, imagine that your child liked your speech. At first glance, this may seem like a good thing, but in practice, a different parent will get pissed off in this case. What kind of pedagogical speech is this, which aims at childish joy? It is well known that there are many other ways to joy; "Pedagogical" speeches, on the contrary, are intended to upset the listener, to bake him, to bring him to tears, to moral exhaustion.

Dear Parents!

Please do not think that any conversation with a child is meaningless. We warn you only against excessive hopes for conversations.

Just those parents who bring up their children poorly, and in general those people who are distinguished by a complete lack of pedagogical tact - they all too exaggerate the significance of pedagogical conversations.

They picture their educational work in this way: the educator is placed at a certain subjective point. At a distance of three meters there is an objective point at which the child is strengthened. The teacher acts with the vocal cords, the child perceives the corresponding waves with the hearing aid. Waves through the eardrum penetrate into the soul of the child and fit into it in the form of a special pedagogical salt.

Sometimes this position of direct confrontation between subject and object changes somewhat, but the distance of three meters remains the same. The child, as if on a leash, circles around the teacher and is constantly exposed either to the action of the vocal cords or to other types of direct influence. Sometimes a child breaks off the leash and after a while is found in the most terrible sewer of life. In this case, the teacher, father or mother, protests in a trembling voice:

- Get out of hand! All day outside! Boys! Do you know what kind of boys we have in the yard? Who knows what they are doing there? There are some homeless people out there...

For such education, of course, free time is required, and of course, it will be time wasted. The system of bonnies and tutors, permanent overseers and chiselers failed long ago, without creating a single bright personality in history. The best, living children have always escaped from this system.

…human cannot be brought up by the direct influence of one person, no matter what qualities this person possesses. Education is a social process in the broadest sense. It educates everything: people, things, phenomena, but first of all and most of all - people. Of these, parents and teachers are in the first place. With all the most complex world of surrounding reality, the child enters into an infinite number of relationships, each of which invariably develops, intertwines with other relationships, is complicated by the physical and moral growth of the child himself.

All this "chaos" does not seem to lend itself to any account, however, it creates at every given moment certain changes in the personality of the child. It is the task of the educator to direct this development and guide it.

Senseless and hopeless is the attempt of some parents to remove the child from the influence of life and replace social education with individual home training. All the same, it will end in failure: either the child will break out of the home dungeon, or you will raise a freak.

- It turns out that life is responsible for raising a child. And what about the family?

- No, the family is responsible for raising the child, or, if you like, the parents. But the pedagogy of a family team cannot mold a child out of nothing. The material for a future person cannot be a limited set of family experiences or pedagogical teachings of fathers. The material will be ... life in all its diverse manifestations.

About street boys, the ugliest devices and harmful extraneous influences

Nothing I am not so outraged as the panicked and disgusting cry:

- Street boys!

- You understand, everything was fine, and then Seryozha made friends with different boys in our yard ...

- These "different boys" are corrupting Seryozha. Serezha wanders around somewhere. Seryozha took a cut for trousers from the closet and sold it. Serezha came in the morning, and he smelled of vodka. Serezha insulted his mother.

Only the most hopeless simpleton can believe that all this was done by "different boys", "street boys". Serezha is not a new brand at all. This is an ordinary, rather boring standard, and it is by no means manufactured by “street boys” and not “boys in our yard”, but by lazy and unscrupulous parents, it is not manufactured at lightning speed, but persistently and patiently, starting from the time when Seryozha was one and a half years old. of the year. It is done with the help of very many ugly devices: thoughtless laziness, free fantasy and tyranny, and most importantly - with the help of unforgivable irresponsibility and an insignificant state of duty.

Seryozha is first and foremost a "street boy", but he became such only in family production. In your yard, maybe he will really meet losers like him, they together will make up the usual flock of guys, equally demoralized and equally "street". But in the same yard you will find dozens of children for whom the family team and family correction have created some kind of attitudes, some kind of traditions that help them master the “street boys”, without alienating them and not being fenced off from life by family walls.

Question difficult, how to protect the child from extraneous harmful influences. Once a prominent French political figure came to our Union, he also visited our commune. He liked the community very much. He wept while the Communards Orchestra played Beethoven. He could not imagine that the former "street boys" were playing Beethoven for him. Decided to get closer.

“Everything would be fine,” he said, “but I don’t agree with one thing: how do you admit that normal, good children are brought up together with former thieves and little tramps?

I answered him shortly:

- And how is it in life - good people live next to the bad ones? Especially in a capitalist society: shady businessmen, swindlers among honest people?..

We cannot prepare children so that they can live only in a society of ideal people. You bring up such a boy - he will turn sour as soon as he gets into society. Your boy must be accustomed to the company of a variety of people. He must be able to get along with people and resist, and the more he is surrounded by all the conditions of life, the better. Isolate him, do not let him in - this can bring great harm. He will become so accustomed to the family incubator that everyone can deceive him and trick him. We need to cultivate resistance. There is a wonderful way to do this: it is the tone of your family. If your family has a real good tone, if you have authority, if the boy believes that his mother is the most beautiful, the most fair, the most accurate, the most cheerful and at the same time the most serious, then you do not need to convince him, because you are for him that supreme being, whose authority is the most important thing. And since you begin to persuade and convince, he thinks: you, then, are not such a higher being, since you convince me. Say quite simply: "You must know that this is not to be done." If he nevertheless acted badly, demand from him: "Explain." Let him explain his behavior to you, not you to him. This moment of command, beyond question: “No,” will already be your son’s first step towards the ability to resist.

If the boy with whom your son is playing is bad, you do not forbid your son to play with him, but come closer to this boy, find out why he is not good, and find out when this bad thing manifests itself. Do it in such a way as not to convince this boy, but impress him with your confidence, your calmness, so that your son will see that you do not tremble, that he will become just as bad. Here it is not only the mind and soul, but also the eyes, the ability to help your son and other people's children, if necessary. And the son will confidently follow your strength, then harmful influences are not terrible, he will easily overcome them.

I knew one such professor of pedagogy. He always approached his only son with books in his hands and with deep psychological analyses. Like many educators, he believed that in nature there should be a kind of pedagogical trick, after which everyone should be in complete blissful satisfaction: the educator, the child, and the principles - peace and quiet and God's grace! The son was rude to his mother at dinner. The professor thought for a moment and decided enthusiastically:

- You, Fedya, insulted your mother, therefore, you do not value our family hearth, you are not worthy to be at our table. Please, from tomorrow I give you five rubles a day - dine wherever you want.

The professor was pleased. In his opinion, he reacted brilliantly to his son's rudeness. Fedya was also pleased. But the trick plan was not carried through to the end: peace and quiet turned out, but God's grace fell out.

The professor expected that in three or four days Fedya would throw herself on his neck and say:

- Father! I was wrong, do not deprive me of the family hearth!

But it didn't happen like that, or rather, not quite like that. Feda really enjoyed visiting restaurants and cafes. He was embarrassed only by the insignificance of the allocated amount. He made some amendments to the case: he rummaged through the family hearth and took the initiative. In the morning there were no professorial trousers in the closet, and in the evening the son came home drunk. In a touched voice, he expressed his love for dad and mom, but he did not raise the issue of returning to the family table. The professor took off his strap and waved it in front of his son's face for several minutes.

A month later, the professor raised a white flag and asked to accept his son in a labor colony. According to him, Fedya was spoiled by various comrades:

Do you know what children are like?

Some parents, upon hearing about this story, will definitely ask:

- Good! But still, what should you do if the son is rude to his mother at dinner?

Comrades! So, perhaps, you will ask me: what should I do if my wallet with money is lost? Think carefully, and you will immediately find the answer: buy yourself a new wallet, earn new money and put it in your wallet.

If the son insults the mother, no trick will help. This means that you brought up your son very badly, brought up badly for a long time. All educational work needs to be started from the beginning, a lot of things in your family need to be reviewed, a lot of things to think about and, above all, put oneself under a microscope. And what to do immediately after rudeness cannot be decided at all - this is a purely individual case. You need to know what kind of person you are and how you behaved in the family. Maybe you yourself were rude to your wife in front of your son. However, if you insulted your wife when your son was not at home, it is also worthy of attention.

No, tricks in family education must be decisively discarded. The growth and upbringing of children is a big, serious and terribly responsible matter, and this matter, of course, is difficult. There is no easy trick to get off here. If you gave birth to a child, it means: for many years to come you gave him all the tension of your thoughts, all your attention and all your will. You must be not only the father and chief of your children, you must also be the organizer of your own life, because outside of your activity as a citizen, outside of your well-being as a person, an educator cannot exist.

Take such an example. Your children love you, and they want to express this love. And here it is the same: the expression of love is the same law of action and brake. How unpleasant it is to see girls (this mostly happens to them) - girlfriends: one in the eighth grade of one school and the other in the eighth grade of another school, they saw each other twice in their lives, in the country, and when they meet they are already kissing, they are already moaning out of love for each other. Do you think they actually love each other? Very often this is an imaginary feeling, a game of feeling, and sometimes this is already becoming a familiar form of such love cynicism, an insincere expression of feelings.

We know families where there are children, you know how children express love for their parents. In some families, this is constant kissing and tender words, a constant manifestation of feelings, so constant that a suspicion arises whether there is any love behind the outward manifestations, or whether this is a familiar game.

In other families, there is a kind of cold tone, as if everyone lives separately. The boy came, rather coldly addressed his father or mother, went about his business, as if there was no love. And only in rare pleasant cases can you see how, in an outwardly restrained relationship, a loving look flashes and disappears. This is a real son who loves his father and mother. The ability to educate, on the one hand, a frank, sincere, heartfelt feeling of love, and on the other hand, restraint in the manifestation of love, so that love is not replaced by an external form, not replaced by kisses - this is an extremely important ability. On this ability, on the manifestation of love for the father and mother, one can educate a beautiful human soul.

... This is also important because it preserves the strength of a sincere movement, lays the brakes that will be useful in any business.

About the colors of life and the range of colors

Into the old time ... called children "angelic souls." In our time, it has been said that children are the “flowers of life.” This is good. But hasty in judgments, sentimental people did not bother to think about these beautiful words. If it says "flowers", then you need to admire the flowers, gasp, rush, sniff, sigh. It is necessary, perhaps, to inspire the flowers themselves that they constitute an inviolable, "luxurious" bouquet.

In this narrowly aesthetic and senseless delight, his disgrace is already embedded. "Flowers of Life" should not be imagined as a "luxurious" bouquet in a Chinese vase on your table. No matter how much you admire such flowers, no matter how much you gasp, these flowers are already dying, they are already doomed and they are barren. Tomorrow you will simply order them to be thrown away. At best, if you are incorrigibly sentimental, you will dry them up in a thick book, and after that your joy will become even more dubious: indulge in memories as much as you like, look at them as much as you like, there will be only hay in front of you, simple hay!

No, our children are not such flowers at all. Our children bloom on the living trunk of our life, this is not a bouquet, this is a beautiful apple orchard. And this is “ours”, here the right of ownership sounds, honestly, charming! It is difficult, of course, not to admire such a garden, it is difficult not to rejoice in it, but it is even more difficult not to work in such a garden. Be kind, take care of this business: dig, water, remove the caterpillar, cut dry twigs.

Not only aroma, not only “gamuts of colors” - fruits, this is what should interest you in a special degree. And so do not pounce on flowers with sighs and kisses, pick up a shovel, scissors, a watering can, get a ladder. And when a caterpillar appears in your garden, take Parisian greens. Do not be afraid, sprinkle a little, even if the flowers will be a little nice. By the way, a good gardener will never have a caterpillar.

Yes, let's be gardeners. This brilliant comparison will allow us to clarify something in the difficult question, who brings up the child - parents or life?

Who grows a garden tree?

It takes the atoms of its body from the earth and air, the sun gives it the precious power of burning, winds and storms instill in it stamina in the fight, neighboring tree brothers save it from disastrous loneliness. The most complex chemical processes always take place both in the tree and around it.

What can a gardener measure in this painstaking work of life? Shouldn't he, powerlessly and humbly, wait until the fruits ripen, so that with the blasphemous and impudent hand of the thief, pick them up and devour them?

That's exactly what savages do somewhere in the slums of Tierra del Fuego. And so do many parents.

But that's not what a real gardener does.

Man has long learned to carefully and gently touch nature. He does not create nature and does not destroy it, he only introduces his mathematically powerful correction into it; his touch, in essence, is nothing but a barely perceptible reshuffling of forces. There is a support, there is loosened earth, there is a patient vigilant selection.

Our upbringing is the same adjustment. And that's why education is possible. Every person can reasonably and accurately lead a child along the rich roads of life, among its flowers and through the whirlwinds of its storms, if he really wants to do it.

Your own behavior is the most decisive thing. Don't think that you are raising a child only when you talk to him, or teach him, or order him. You bring him up at every moment of your life, even when you are not at home. How you dress, how you talk to other people and about other people, how you are happy or sad, how you treat friends and enemies, how you laugh, read the newspaper - all this is of great importance for a child. The child sees or feels the slightest changes in tone, all turns of your thought reach him in invisible ways, you do not notice them. And if at home you are rude, or boastful, or drunk, and even worse, if you insult your mother, you no longer need to think about education: you are already raising your children, and raising them poorly, and no best advice and methods will help you.

Parental demand for oneself, parental respect for one's family, parental control over one's every step - this is the first and most important method of education!

Meanwhile, one sometimes has to meet such parents who believe that it is necessary to find some kind of cunning recipe for raising children, and the job will be done. In their opinion, if this recipe is put into the hands of the most inveterate couch potato, with the help of the recipe he will bring up an industrious person; if given to a swindler, the recipe will help to bring up an honest citizen; in the hands of a liar, he will also perform a miracle, and the child will grow up to be truthful.

Such miracles do not happen. No recipes will help if there are big flaws in the very personality of the educator.

It is these shortcomings that need to be addressed first. As for magic tricks, you need to remember once and for all that pedagogical tricks simply do not exist. Unfortunately, sometimes you can see such people who believe in tricks. He will come up with a special punishment, the other introduces some kind of bonuses, the third is trying with all his might to clow around at home and entertain the children, the fourth bribes with promises.

The upbringing of children requires the most serious tone, the most simple and sincere. These three qualities should contain the ultimate truth of your life. The slightest addition of deceit, artificiality, sarcasm, frivolity makes educational work doomed to failure. This does not mean at all that you should always be puffed up, pompous - just be sincere, let your mood correspond to the moment and essence of what is happening in your family.

Tricks prevent people from seeing the real tasks before them, tricks primarily amuse the parents themselves, tricks take time.

Discipline is not submission, but conscious obedience

Not to influence the child, but to promote its development

Once, psychologists conducted a curious experiment with older preschoolers. The children were shown a state-of-the-art remote-controlled robot. He could walk and run, turn around, pick up cubes from the floor, and even somersault. The kids looked at the toy with their mouths open. However, one “but” was voiced - it was strictly forbidden to play the robot when an adult left the room.

For half of the kids, the ban was announced strictly - they were even intimidated by a serious punishment. For the other half, the same was said in a much milder form. After a while, the teacher left the room. That day, none of the children approached the robot.

A few weeks later the situation repeated itself. The children were again left alone with the robot, and no one reminded them that it was impossible to touch it in the absence of adults. How will the children behave?

The result was quite expected. As soon as the teacher left the room, the first group, almost in full force, rushed to the cherished toy. But most of the children who received a ban in a milder form did not touch it.

Psychologists explain it this way: thanks to the right tone, the demand received from outside was transformed for children into a conscious choice. “Every whip must be balanced with a carrot – something like this is how I imagine the ideal formula for self-discipline,” said perhaps the most mysterious modern writer Max Frei. Well, the ratio of "stick" and "carrot" in the upbringing of the younger generation has always been the subject of controversy among specialists in family psychology. How to make a child an accomplice in the development of the rules of the family "hostel"? Is it worth it to use the tactics of "tightening the screws"? What to do if children rebel? How strict should the regime be? And most importantly, do parents have the right to unconditional obedience on the part of their children? You do not need to be an expert to understand: any normal child will accept parental teaching if love reigns in the family. It is she who adds to the word "discipline" that very coveted prefix "self", which every parent dreams of.

About severity, affection and the limit of anger

Let's take the most difficult question (I see that this is considered the most difficult by people) is the question of discipline. Severity and affection is the most damned question ...

In most cases, people do not know how to normalize affection and severity, and this skill in education is absolutely necessary. It is very often observed that people understand these issues, but they think: this is right, strictness should be the norm, affection should be the norm, but this is necessary when the child is six or seven years old, but up to six years old you can without the norm. In fact, the main foundations of education are laid before the age of five, and what you did before the age of five is 90% of the entire educational process, and then the upbringing of man continues, the processing of man continues, but, in general, you begin to eat berries, and the flowers that you cared for were up to five years old. And therefore, up to five years, the question of the measure of severity and affection is the most important issue. Even on the first day of your child's life, the question of the norm of severity and affection, that is, the question of discipline and your tenderness, should be put on the order of the day. We can often observe that a child is either allowed to cry a lot, and he cries all day long, or not allowed to cry at all. Directly even to America send for the norm of severity and affection; maybe the Americans normalized this business. Our people didn't standardize it.

I can see from many of your eyes that you have wonderful children. But at five, and at six, and at seven, this norm, this golden mean, some kind of harmony in the distribution of severity and affection should always be.

I was objected to this: you are talking about a measure of severity, but you can raise a child without any severity. If you do everything reasonably and kindly, you will live your life and will never be strict with a child.

By strictness I do not understand any anger or any hysterical cry. Not at all. Strictness is good only when it does not have any signs of hysteria.

And in my practice I have learned to be strict with a very affectionate tone. I could say quite politely, affectionately and calmly, words that made people turn pale - my colonists. Severity does not necessarily involve screaming or screeching. It's too much. But your calmness, your confidence, your firm decision, if you kindly express it, it makes an even greater impression. “Get out” makes an impression, and to say “please leave” also makes an impression, maybe even more.

I have... was the deputy of the Tatars.

I am a more or less strict person, I can shout. And he, on the contrary, is soft, like wax. He couldn't raise his voice, he couldn't shout. A very capable person, an excellent teacher, very hardworking, besides, he really wanted to become a good educator.

What do you think? I went somewhere on a business trip for half a month and left him ... instead of myself. I come and ask:

- Well how are you?

In the evening, the guys gather and laugh:

- What are you laughing at?

- It was pretty funny.

“And he does it the same way as you.” You say: Damn you. He also says “damn you”, only in a low voice.

- Well, did you listen?

- Well, we can see that he is angry.

Of course, It is hard to imagine a school team without good discipline. Let us take such a purely technical issue as a general meeting. The general meeting must first of all be well organized.

What do you need first? First of all, you need accuracy. The general meeting is scheduled for 8:30 am. At 8:29 (not 28 and not 30 minutes, but exactly at 29) a signal is given, and exactly at 8:30 the general meeting opens.

When it is done in one day it is very difficult, when it is done for a month it is already easier, and when it is done for years it is very easy. It turns out a tradition ... We have not lost a single minute in vain.

The time limit is defined simply: one hour hourglass.

- Give me your word.

- Get it.

Turned over the hourglass. The sand spilled out. The minute is over. At a general meeting, you need to talk about the matter for one minute. At first it was difficult, but then we got used to it, and it turned out just fine. Some even spoke shorter.

This seemingly small question is of great importance. Firstly, we could talk at the general meeting about everything. Secondly, everyone was taught to say only what was necessary.

With such strict regulations, people are taught to speak very briefly, not to spread, not to say unnecessary words. Man is trained to be businesslike.

This is a very simple and seemingly not even a pedagogical question - location in time, but it is decisive. You have to keep time, keep accuracy.

…If a did it wrong, why? Why did you do it wrong? You have to make big demands. This is a necessary pedagogical principle, without which it is impossible to educate a person. If you do not demand much from a person, you will not get much from him.

The belief that a lot grows out of nothing by itself with the help of some chemical influences of your pedagogical views is wrong.

Much can grow only when you not only dream about yourself pedagogically, but when you really demand.

And finally, the last moment - when the demand is met by children not with a depressed mood, but even solemnly, then the more you demand, the more you please them, because by doing so you express confidence in their strength.

Between other than that, comrades, Many parents, like teachers, do not know how to talk with a child. You need to put in a vote. Unfortunately, in pedagogical technical schools and universities they do not give voices. I would definitely have a good specialist in every university and technical school who knows how to put votes.

I would try to carry out such an exercise: you, comrades, are students, and you will also interrogate me as a student. Let's say I stole 10 rubles from someone. How will you interrogate me? Keep in mind that you will interrogate me, and others will listen and then say whether you are interrogating me correctly or not.

And you, comrades, would see that without a voice it is impossible to ask correctly. At first I thought: what is it for? It turns out it's necessary. It is very important.

I didn't do very well at first either. What do you think is the issue?

Turned to an experienced actor.

Don't sing, but talk.

I worked with him for a while and realized what a great thing voicing is. What matters is the tone of voice. A simple phrase: “You can go,” but this simple phrase, these two words can be said in 50 ways. Moreover, in each method you let in such notes that it will be a drop of poison, if it is necessary for someone who should feel it.

Parents often say: "Vanya, make your bed." ( Laugh.)

Well, tell me, please, after such an order, can a living person remove the bed after himself, even if he wanted to do it? ( Laugh.) Some parents and teachers allow themselves such a “luxury” that their voice reflects their mood. This is completely unacceptable. Your mood can be anything, but your voice must be real, good, firm.

Mood has nothing to do with your voice. How do you know what mood I'm in right now? Maybe I'm in grief. Or maybe I have some great joy. But I have to speak so that everyone listens to me. Every parent, every teacher, before talking to a child, must twist himself a little so that all moods disappear. And it's not that hard.

…I got used to managing my mood and found it very easy. You need to make sure that your physiognomy, your eyes, your voice are autonomous in some cases. In your soul, perhaps, cats are scratching and all sorts of other reptiles, but on the outside everything should be in perfect order, in full dress. The teacher must have a "parade on his face." It is desirable that parents also have a “parade” on their faces.

Recently, a parent came to me and said:

- …I have son. Doesn't listen. I tell him he doesn't listen. The second time I say - do not listen. The third time I say - do not listen. What should I do with him?

I sat this parent, who came to me, and began to talk to him:

- Well, show me how you talk to your son.

- Yes, that's it.

- Try it like this.

- Does not exceed.

- Repeat.

I worked with him for half an hour, and he learned to give orders. It was just the voice.

About discipline, regime and their differences

Word"discipline" has several meanings. Some understand discipline as a collection of rules of conduct. Others call discipline the already established, cultivated habits of a person, others see only obedience in discipline. All these individual opinions are more or less close to the truth, but for the correct work of the educator it is necessary to have a more accurate idea of ​​​​the very concept of "discipline".

Sometimes a disciplined person is called a person who is distinguished by obedience. Of course, in the vast majority of each person, exact and prompt execution of orders and orders from higher authorities and persons is required, and yet in society, so-called obedience is a completely insufficient sign of a disciplined person - simple obedience cannot satisfy us, all the more blind obedience cannot satisfy …

... It goes without saying that it is impossible to bring up such a disciplined person with the help of only one discipline, i.e., exercises in obedience ... We especially recommend that parents always remember this important provision: discipline is created not by any individual "disciplinary" measures, but by the whole the system of education, the whole environment of life, all the influences to which children are exposed. In this understanding, discipline is not a cause, not a method, not a way of correct education, but the result of it. Right discipline is that good end to which the educator must strive with all his strength and with all the means at his disposal. Therefore, every parent should know that, giving a son or daughter a book to read, introducing him to a new comrade, talking with the child about the international situation, about affairs at his factory or about his Stakhanovite successes, he, along with other things, achieves a greater goal or less discipline.

Thus, by discipline we mean the broad general result of all educational work.

But there is also a narrower department of educational work, which is closest to the inculcation of discipline and which is often confused with discipline: this is the regime. If discipline is the result of all educational work, then the regime is only a means, only a method of education. The differences between regime and discipline are very important differences, parents should be well versed in them. Discipline, for example, is one of those phenomena from which we always demand perfection. We always want the best, the strictest discipline in our family, in our work. And it cannot be otherwise: discipline is the result, and in every business we are used to fighting for the best results. It is hard to imagine a person who would say: “Our discipline is so-so, but we don’t need the best…”

... The mode is quite another matter. The regime, as we have already said, is only a means, and we generally know that any means in any area of ​​life should be used only when it corresponds to the goal, when it is appropriate. Therefore, one can imagine the best discipline, and we always strive for it, but one cannot imagine any ideal, best regimen. In some cases, one mode will be the most suitable, in other cases, another.

Family mode cannot and should not be the same under different conditions. The age of the children, their abilities, the environment, the neighbors, the size of the apartment, its amenities, the way to school, the liveliness of the streets, and many other circumstances determine and change the character of the regime. One mode should be in a large family with many children, and completely different in such a family with one child. A regimen that is good for young children can be very harmful when applied to older children. In the same way, the mode for girls has its own characteristics, especially at an older age.

Thus, the regime cannot be understood as something constant, unchanging. In some families, they often make such a mistake, they firmly believe in the healing properties of the regime once adopted, and protect its inviolability to the detriment of the interests of children and their own. Such an immobile regime soon becomes a dead device that cannot be useful, but only harms.

The regime cannot be permanent in nature precisely because it is only a means of education. Each upbringing pursues certain goals, and these goals are always changing and becoming more complex. In early childhood, for example, parents face a serious task - to accustom children to cleanliness. In an effort to achieve this goal, parents establish a special regime for children, i.e., the rules for washing, using the bathroom, shower or bath, the rules for cleaning, the rules for maintaining the cleanliness of the room, bed, table. Such a regime should be regularly maintained, parents should never forget about it, monitor its implementation, help children in cases where they themselves cannot do anything, demand good quality work from children. If all this order is well organized, it is of great benefit, and finally there comes a time when the habits of cleanliness are formed in children, when the child himself can no longer sit down at the table with dirty hands. So, we can already say that the goal has been achieved. The mode that was needed to achieve this goal is now becoming redundant. Of course, this does not mean at all that it can be canceled within one day. Gradually, this regimen should be replaced by another regimen that aims to reinforce the established habit of cleanliness, and when this habit is established, new goals arise for parents, more complex and more important. To continue and at this time to mess around only with cleanliness will not only be an unnecessary waste of parental energy, but also a harmful waste: this is exactly how soulless clean people are brought up, who have nothing in their souls except the habit of cleanliness, and who are sometimes able to somehow do the job just not to get your hands dirty.

In this example of a regime of purity, we see that the correctness of the regime is a temporary and transient phenomenon; so it is with every other means, and the regime is only a means.

Despite such a variety of possible regimes, it must still be said that the regime in ... a family must always be distinguished by certain properties that are indispensable in any situation. In the present lecture, we must clarify these general properties.

While recommending to parents to ensure that the family regime has a reasonable and expedient character, we must at the same time warn parents that it is by no means necessary to explain to the children the meaning of this or that rule at every step, they must not be bored with such explanations and interpretations. If possible, you need to try so that the children themselves understand what this is for. Only in extreme cases you need to tell them the right idea. In general, it is necessary to strive to ensure that good habits are formed in children as firmly as possible, and for this purpose the most important thing is the constant exercise in the right deed. Constant reasoning and ranting about right behavior can spoil any good experience.

The second important property of each regime is its certainty. If today you need to brush your teeth, then you need to brush them tomorrow; if today you need to clean up your bed, then you need to do it tomorrow. It should not be that today the mother demanded that the bed be made, but tomorrow she did not demand it and cleaned it herself. Such uncertainty deprives the regime of any meaning and turns it into a set of random, unrelated orders. The correct regime must be definite, precise, and not allow exceptions, except in cases where exceptions are really necessary and caused by important circumstances. As a rule, in every family there should be such an order that the slightest violation of the regime was necessarily noted. This must be done from the very young age of the child, and the more strictly the parents monitor the implementation of the regimen, the fewer violations there will be and the less often they will have to resort to punishments.

We pay special attention of parents to this circumstance. Many mistakenly believe this: the boy did not make his bed in the morning, is it worth raising a scandal because of this? Firstly, he did it for the first time, and secondly, an unmade bed is generally a trifle, you should not spoil the boy's nerves because of it. This kind of reasoning is completely wrong. There are no trifles in the matter of education. An unmade bed denotes not only the emerging slovenliness, but also the emerging disregard for the established regime, the beginning of such an experience, which can then take the form of direct hostility towards parents.

The certainty of the regime, its accuracy and compulsion are in great danger if the parents themselves treat the regime insincerely, if they demand its fulfillment from the children, and at the same time they themselves live disorderly, not obeying any regime. Of course, it is quite natural that the regime of the parents themselves will differ from the regime of the children, but these differences should not be fundamental. If you demand that children do not read a book at dinner, then you yourself should not do this. When insisting that children wash their hands before dinner, do not forget to demand the same from yourself. Try to make your own bed, it is not at all difficult and not shameful work. In all these trifles there is much more significance than is commonly thought.

The regime in the family itself, at home, must necessarily concern the following particulars: the time of getting up and the time of going to bed must be exactly set - the same both on working days and on rest days; rules for accuracy and cleanliness, terms and rules for changing linen, clothes, rules for wearing them, cleaning them; children should be taught that all things have their place, they should use the restroom, washbasin, bath after work or play; must watch the electric light, turn it on and off when necessary. A special regime must be set at the table. Each child should know his place at the table, come to the table on time, should be able to behave at the table, use a knife and fork, not dirty the tablecloths, not throw pieces on the table, eat everything put on the plate, and therefore not ask for too much.

End of free trial.

Current page: 1 (total book has 7 pages)

Anton Semenovich Makarenko
LECTURES ON EDUCATION OF CHILDREN

GENERAL CONDITIONS FOR FAMILY EDUCATION

Dear parents, citizens of the Soviet Union!

Raising children is the most important area of ​​our lives. Our children are future citizens of our country and citizens of the world. They will make history. Our children are future fathers and mothers, they will also be educators of their children. Our children should grow up to be excellent citizens, good fathers and mothers. But that's not all: our children are our old age. Proper upbringing is our happy old age, bad upbringing is our future grief, these are our tears, this is our guilt before other people, before the whole country.

Dear parents, first of all, you should always remember the great importance of this work, your great responsibility for it.

Today we begin a series of conversations on family education. In the future, we will talk in detail about the individual details of educational work: about discipline and parental authority, about play, about food and clothing, about politeness, and so on. All these are very important departments that speak of useful methods of educational work. But before we talk about them, let's turn your attention to some questions that are of general importance, that apply to all departments, to all the details of education, which must always be remembered.

First of all, we draw your attention to the following: raising a child correctly and normally is much easier than re-educating. Proper upbringing from early childhood is not at all as difficult a matter as many people think. According to its difficulty, this work is within the power of every person, every father and every mother. Every person can easily raise his child well, if only he really wants to, and besides, this is a pleasant, joyful, happy business. Quite another is re-education. If your child was brought up incorrectly, if you missed something, thought little about him, or sometimes you were too lazy, neglected the child, then you already need to redo and correct a lot. And now this work of correction, the work of re-education, is no longer such an easy matter. Re-education requires more strength and more knowledge, more patience, and not every parent has all this. Very often there are cases when the family can no longer cope with the difficulties of re-education and they have to send their son or daughter to a labor colony. And it also happens that the colony cannot do anything, and a person who goes out into life is not quite right. Let us even take such a case when the alteration helped, a person came to life and works. Everyone looks at him, and everyone is happy, including parents. But no one wants to calculate how much they still lost. If this person had been brought up correctly from the very beginning, he would have taken more from life, he would have gone out into life even stronger, more prepared, and therefore happier. And besides, the work of re-educating and remaking is not only more difficult work, but also mournful. Such work, even with complete success, causes constant grief to parents, wears out the nerves, often spoils the parental character.

A lot of mistakes in family work come from the fact that parents seem to forget what time they live in. It happens that parents in the service, in general in life, in society act as good citizens of the Soviet Union, as members of a new, socialist society, but at home, among children, they live in the old way. Of course, it cannot be said that everything was bad in the old, pre-revolutionary family, much can be adopted from the old family, but we must always remember that our life is fundamentally different from the old life. We must remember that we live in a classless society, that such a society exists so far only in the USSR, that we have great battles ahead of us against the dying bourgeoisie, great socialist construction. Our children must grow up to be active and conscious builders of communism.

Parents should think about how the new, Soviet family differs from the old one. In an old family, for example, the father had more power, the children lived in his full will and there was nowhere for them to go from their father's will. Many fathers abused such power, treated their children cruelly, like petty tyrants. The state and the Orthodox Church supported such power: it was beneficial for the society of exploiters. Our family is different. For example, our girl will not wait until her parents find a groom... But our family should also guide the feelings of their children. Obviously, our leadership can no longer use the old methods in this matter, but must find new ones.

In the old society every family belonged to some class, and the children of that family usually remained in the same class. The son of a peasant himself usually became a peasant, the son of a worker also became a worker. Our children have a very wide range of choices. In this choice, the decisive role is played not by the material possibilities of the family, but exclusively by the abilities and preparation of the child. Our children, therefore, enjoy a completely incomparable space. Fathers know it, and children know it too. Under such conditions, no paternal discretion becomes simply impossible. Much more subtle, careful, and skillful guidance must now be recommended to parents.

The family ceased to be a paternal family. Our woman enjoys the same rights as a man, our mother has the same rights as a father. Our family is not subject to paternal autocracy, but is a Soviet collective. In this collective, parents have certain rights. Where do these rights come from?

In the old days, it was believed that paternal authority was of heavenly origin: as God pleases, there was a special commandment about honoring parents. In schools, the priests talked about this, told the children how God severely punished children for disrespecting their parents. In the Soviet state, we do not deceive children. Our parents, however, are also responsible for their families before the entire Soviet society and Soviet law. Therefore, our parents also have some power and should have authority in their family. Although each family constitutes a collective of equal members of society, nevertheless, parents and children differ in that the former lead the family, while the latter are brought up in the family.

Every parent should have a very clear idea of ​​all this. Everyone must understand that in the family he is not a complete, uncontrolled master, but only a senior, responsible member of the team. If this idea is well understood, then all educational work will proceed correctly.

We know that this work is not equally successful for everyone. It depends on many reasons, and above all on the application of the correct methods of education. But a very important reason is the very organization of the family, its structure. To a certain extent, this structure is in our power. It can, for example, be emphatically asserted that the upbringing of an only son or an only daughter is much more difficult than the upbringing of several children. Even if the family is experiencing some financial difficulties, one should not be limited to one child. The only child very soon becomes the center of the family. The cares of the father and mother, concentrated on this child, usually exceed the useful norm. Parental love in this case is distinguished by a certain nervousness. The illness of this child or his death is taken very hard by such a family, and the fear of such a misfortune always stands before the parents and deprives them of the necessary peace of mind. Very often, the only child gets used to his exceptional position and becomes a real despot in the family. It is very difficult for parents to slow down their love for him and their worries, and willy-nilly they bring up an egoist.

There are other cases of incomplete families. It is very painfully reflected in the upbringing of the child if the parents do not live together, if they have separated. Often children become the subject of strife between parents who openly hate each other and do not hide this from children.

It is necessary to recommend to those parents who for some reason leave each other that in their quarrel, in their divergence, they think more about their children. Any kind of disagreement can be resolved more delicately, you can hide from your children both your dislike and your hatred for your ex-spouse. It is difficult, of course, for a husband who has left his family to somehow continue raising children. And if he cannot have a beneficial effect on his old family, then he would better try that she completely forgot him, it would be more honest. Although, of course, he must still bear his material obligations in relation to abandoned children.

The question of the structure of the family is a very important one, and it must be treated quite consciously.

If parents truly love their children and want to raise them as best as possible, they will try not to bring their mutual disagreements to a break and thus not put the children in the most difficult situation.

The next question to which the most serious attention should be paid is the question of the purpose of education. In some families, one can observe complete thoughtlessness in this matter: parents and children simply live nearby, and parents hope that everything will work out by itself. Parents have neither a clear fir nor a definite program. Of course, in this case, the results will always be random, and often such parents then wonder why they raised bad children. Nothing can be done well if you do not know what you want to achieve.

Every father and every mother should know well what they want to bring up in their child. One must be clear about one's own parental desires. Do you want to bring up a real citizen of the Soviet country, a knowledgeable, energetic, honest person, devoted to his people, to the cause of the revolution, hardworking, cheerful and polite? Or do you want your child to become a tradesman, greedy, cowardly, some cunning and petty businessman? Give yourself the trouble, think carefully about this question, think at least in secret, and you will immediately see many mistakes you have made and many right paths ahead.

And at the same time, you must always remember: you have given birth and are raising a son or daughter not only for your parental joy. A future citizen, a future activist and a future fighter is growing in your family and under your leadership. If you mess up, bring up a bad person, grief from this will be not only for you, but also for many people, and for the whole country. Do not dismiss this question, do not consider if annoying reasoning. After all, in your factory, in your institution, you are ashamed to produce defective good products together. It should be even more shameful for you to give bad or harmful people to society.

This question is very important. Once you seriously think about it, and many conversations about education will become superfluous for you, you yourself will see what you need to do. And just a lot of parents do not think about this issue. They love their children; they enjoy their company, they even brag about them, dress them up and completely forget that it is their moral responsibility to grow up as a future citizen.

Can such a father think about all this, who himself is a bad citizen, who is not at all interested in the life of the country, or its struggle, or its successes, who is not disturbed by enemy sorties? Of course not. But it’s not worth talking about such people, there are few of them in our country ...

But there are other people. At work and among people they feel like citizens, but household chores go on regardless: at home they either simply keep quiet, or, on the contrary, behave in a way that a Soviet citizen should not behave. Before you start educating your children, check your own behavior.

Family affairs cannot be separated from public affairs. Your activity in society or at work should also be reflected in the family, your family should see your political and civilian face and not separate it from the face of the parent. Everything that happens in the country, through your soul and your thought should come to the children. What happens at your factory, what pleases or saddens you, should be of interest to your children. They should know that you are a public figure and be proud of you, your successes, your services to society. And only if this pride is healthy pride, if its social essence is understandable to children, if they are not simply proud of your good suit, your car or hunting rifle.

Your own behavior is the most decisive thing. Don't think that you are raising a child only when you talk to him, or teach him, or order him. You bring him up at every moment of your life, even when you are not at home. How you dress, how you talk to other people and about other people, how you are happy or sad, how you treat friends and enemies, how you laugh, read the newspaper - all this is of great importance for a child. The child sees or feels the slightest changes in tone, all turns of your thought reach him in invisible ways, you do not notice them. And if at home you are rude, or boastful, or drunk, and even worse, if you insult your mother, you no longer need to think about education: you are already raising your children, and raising them poorly, and no best advice and methods will help you.

Parental demand for oneself, parental respect for one's family, parental control over one's every step - this is the first and most important method of education!

Meanwhile, one sometimes has to meet such parents who believe that it is necessary to find some kind of cunning recipe for raising children, and the job will be done. In their opinion, if this recipe is put into the hands of the most inveterate couch potato, with the help of the recipe he will bring up an industrious person; if given to a swindler, the recipe will help to bring up an honest citizen; in the hands of a liar, he will also perform a miracle, and the child will grow up to be truthful.

Such miracles do not happen. No recipes will help if there are big flaws in the very personality of the educator.

It is these shortcomings that need to be addressed first. As for magic tricks, one must remember once and for all that pedagogical tricks simply do not exist. Unfortunately, sometimes you can see such people who believe in tricks. He will come up with a special punishment, the other introduces some kind of bonuses, the third is trying with all his might to clow around at home and entertain the children, the fourth bribes with promises.

The upbringing of children requires the most serious tone, the most simple and sincere. These three qualities should contain the ultimate truth of your life. The slightest addition of deceit, artificiality, sarcasm, frivolity makes educational work doomed to failure. This does not mean at all that you should always be puffed up, pompous - just be sincere, let your mood correspond to the moment and essence of what is happening in your family.

Tricks prevent people from seeing the real tasks before them, tricks primarily amuse the parents themselves, tricks take time.

And many parents are so fond of complaining about the lack of time!

Of course, it is better if parents are with their children more often, it is very bad if parents never see them. But still it must be said that proper education does not at all require that parents keep their eyes on their children. Such an upbringing can only bring harm. It develops passivity and their spiritual growth goes too fast. Parents like to brag about it, but then they are convinced that they made a mistake.

You must know well what he is doing, where he is, with whom your child is surrounded, but you must give him the necessary freedom so that he is not only under your personal influence, but under the many different influences of life. Do not think at the same time that you should cowardly fence him off from negative or even hostile influences. Indeed, in life, he will still have to face various temptations, with alien and harmful people and circumstances. You must develop in him the ability to understand them, to deal with them, to recognize them in a timely manner. In greenhouse education, in isolated incubation, this cannot be worked out. Therefore, quite naturally, you should allow the most varied environment of your children, but never lose sight of them.

Children need to be helped in time, to stop them in time, to direct them. Thus, all that is required of you is constant adjustment in the life of the child, but not at all what is called driving by the hand. In due time we will touch on this issue in more detail, but now we dwell on it only because the conversation turned to time. Education does not require a great deal of time, but the judicious use of a little time. And we repeat once again: education always happens, even when you are not at home.

The true essence of educational work, probably you yourself have already guessed this, is not at all in your conversations with the child, not in the direct impact on the child, but in the organization of your family, your personal and social life and in the organization of the child's life. Educational work is primarily the work of an organizer. In this case, therefore, there are no trifles. You have no right to call anything a trifle and forget about it. It would be a terrible mistake to think that in your life or in the life of your child you will highlight something big and give this big one all your attention, and throw everything else aside. There are no trifles in educational work. Some kind of bow that you tie in a girl's hair, this or that hat, some kind of toy - all these are things that can be of the greatest importance in a child's life. A good organization lies in the fact that it does not lose sight of the smallest details and cases. Little things act regularly, daily, hourly, and life is made up of them. Leading this life, organizing it will be your most responsible task.

In the following conversations, we will consider individual methods of educational work in the family in more detail. Today's conversation was an introduction.

Let's recap what we said today.

We must strive for proper education, so that later we do not have to deal with re-education, which is much more difficult.

We must remember that you are in charge of a new Soviet family. If possible, it is necessary to achieve the correct structure of this family.

It is necessary to have a precise goal and a program of educational work in front of you.

We must always remember that a child is not only your joy, but also a future citizen, that you are responsible for him to the country. First of all, you must be a good citizen yourself and bring your civic well-being into your family as well.

We must make the most stringent demands on our own behavior.

No need to rely on any recipes and tricks. You need to be serious, simple and sincere.

No need to count on a big waste of time, you need to be able to lead the child, and not protect him from life.

The main thing in educational work is the organization of family life with close attention to detail.

ABOUT PARENTAL AUTHORITY

In our last conversation we said that the Soviet family differs in many ways from the bourgeois family. And above all, its difference lies in the nature of parental authority. Our father and our mother are authorized by society to educate the future citizen of our Fatherland, they are responsible to society. This is the basis of their parental authority and their authority in the eyes of children.

However, it will be simply inconvenient in the family itself before the children to prove parental authority by constantly referring to such public authority. The upbringing of children begins from the age when no logical proofs and the presentation of public rights are possible at all, and meanwhile, without authority, an educator is impossible.

The father and mother in the eyes of the child should have this authority. One often hears the question: what to do with a child if he does not obey? This very "does not obey" is a sign that the parents in his eyes do not have authority.

Where does parental authority come from, how is it organized? Those parents whose children "do not obey" sometimes tend to think that authority comes from nature, that it is a special talent. If there is no talent, then nothing can be done, it remains only to envy the one who has such talent. These parents are wrong. Authority can be organized in every family, and this is not even a very difficult matter.

Unfortunately, there are parents who organize such authority on false grounds. They strive to ensure that children obey them, this is their goal. Actually, this is a mistake. Authority and obedience cannot be the goal. There can be only one goal: proper education. This one goal alone should be pursued. Childish obedience can only be one of the ways to this end. It is precisely those parents who do not think about the real goals of education who achieve obedience for the sake of obedience itself. If children are obedient, parents live more calmly. This very calmness is their real goal. In fact, it always turns out that neither calmness nor obedience lasts long. Authority built on false foundations helps only for a very short time, soon everything collapses, there is neither authority nor obedience left. It also happens that parents achieve obedience, but all the other goals of upbringing are in the pen: grow up, however, obedient, but weak children.

A v o r i te t p o d s u r e n t. This is the most terrible kind of authority, although not the most harmful. Fathers suffer the most from this authority. If the father at home always growls, is always angry, breaks out with thunder for every trifle, grabs a stick or a belt at every opportunity and inconvenience, answers every question with rudeness, marks every fault of the child with punishment, then this is the authority of suppression. Such paternal terror keeps the whole family in fear: not only children, but also the mother. He is harmful not only because he intimidates the children, but also because he makes the mother a null being who can only be a servant. No need to prove how harmful such authority is. He does not bring up anything, he only teaches children to stay away from the terrible father, he causes children's lies and human cowardice, and at the same time he brings up cruelty in the child. Downtrodden and weak-willed children then turn out either slushy, worthless people, or petty tyrants, who throughout their lives avenge their suppressed childhood. This wildest sort of authority exists only among uncultured parents and, fortunately, has recently died out.

A v o r i t e t r a s t o i a n i . There are such fathers, and even mothers, who are seriously convinced that in order for children to obey, you need to talk less with them, stay away, occasionally only act as bosses. This view was especially loved in some old intellectual families. here, very often, the father has some kind of separate study, from which he occasionally appears as a high priest. He dines separately, entertains separately, he even passes his orders on the family entrusted to him through his mother. There are also such mothers: they have their own life, their own interests, their own thoughts. Children are run by a grandmother or even a housekeeper.

A v o r i t e t h v a n s t v a. This is a special kind of distance authority, but perhaps more harmful. Every citizen of the Soviet state has his own merits. But some people believe that they are the most deserved, the most important figures, and show this importance at every step, show their children. At home they are even more puffed up and puffed up than at work, they only do what they talk about their merits, they are arrogant about other people. It happens very often that, struck by this kind of father, the children begin to boast. Before their comrades, they also speak only with a boastful word, repeating at every step: my dad is a boss, my dad is a writer, my dad is a commander, my dad is a celebrity. In this atmosphere of arrogance, an important dad can no longer make out where his children are going and whom he is raising. There is such authority among mothers: some special dress, an important acquaintance, a trip to a resort - all this gives them grounds for swagger, for separation from other people and from their own children.

A v o r i t e t p e n t i s m a. In this case, parents pay more attention to children, work more, but work like bureaucrats. They are sure that children should listen to every parental word with trepidation, that their word is sacred. They give their orders in a cold tone, and once it is given, it immediately becomes law. Such parents are most afraid that the children might think that dad was mistaken, that dad is an unstable person. If such a dad said: “Tomorrow it will rain, you can’t walk,” then even if tomorrow there was good weather, it’s still considered that you can’t walk. Dad did not like any movie, he generally forbade children to go to the cinema, including good pictures. Dad punished the child, then it turned out that the child was not as guilty as it seemed at first, dad would never cancel his punishment: since I said it, it should be so. There is enough work for such a dad every day, in every movement of the child he sees a violation of order and legality and sticks to him with new laws and orders. The life of the child, his interests, his growth pass by such a father imperceptibly; he sees nothing but his own bureaucratic leadership in the family.

A u t o r i t e r e s o n e r s t v a. In this case, parents literally seize the children's life with endless teachings and edifying conversations. Instead of saying a few words to the child, perhaps even in a jocular tone, the parent sits him against himself and begins a boring and annoying speech. Such parents are sure that the main pedagogical wisdom lies in the teachings. In such a family, there is always little joy and smiles. Parents try their best to be virtuous, they want to be infallible in the eyes of their children. But they forget that children are not adults, that children have their own lives and that this life must be respected. A child lives more emotionally, more passionately than an adult, he least of all knows how to engage in reasoning. The habit of thinking should come to him gradually and rather slowly, and the constant ranting of the parents, their constant blasphemy and talkativeness pass almost without a trace in their minds. In the reasoning of parents, children cannot see any authority.

A v o r i t e t l y b v i. This is the most common type of false authority we have. Many parents are convinced that in order for children to obey, they need to love their parents, and in order to deserve this love, it is necessary to show their parental love to children at every step. Tender words, endless kisses, caresses, confessions are showered on children in an absolutely excessive amount. If the child does not obey, he is immediately asked: "So you don't love your dad?" Parents jealously watch the expression of children's eyes and demand tenderness and love. Often a mother with children tells her friends: "He loves dad terribly and loves me terribly, he is such a tender child ..."

Such a family is so immersed in a sea of ​​sentimentality and tender feelings that they no longer notice anything else. Many important trifles of family education pass by the attention of parents. A child should do everything out of love for his parents.

There are many dangerous places in this line. This is where family selfishness grows. Children, of course, do not have enough strength for such love. Very soon they notice that dad and mom can be deceived in any way, they just need to do it with a gentle expression. Dad and mom can even be intimidated, one has only to pout and show that love is beginning to pass. From a very young age, the child begins to understand that people can play along. And since he cannot love other people just as strongly, he plays along with them already without any love, with cold and cynical calculation. Sometimes it happens that love for parents lasts for a long time, but all other people are considered as outsiders and aliens, there is no sympathy for them, there is no feeling of camaraderie.

A v o r i t e t of kindness. This is the most stupid kind of authority. In this case, children's obedience is also organized through children's love, but it is not caused by kisses and outpourings, but by the compliance, gentleness, and kindness of the parents. Dad or mom speaks to the child in the form of a kind angel. They allow everything, they do not regret anything, they are not stingy, they are wonderful parents. They are afraid of all kinds of conflicts, they prefer family peace, they are ready to sacrifice anything if only everything is safe. Very soon, in such a family, children simply begin to command their parents, parental non-resistance opens up the widest scope for children's desires, whims, demands. Sometimes parents allow themselves a little resistance, but it's too late, the family already

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Federal State Budgetary Educational Institution of Higher Professional Education “Tula State Pedagogical University named after I.I. L.N. Tolstoy"

Faculty of Technology and Business

A.S. Makarenko about raising children in the family

Completed by: Korobochkina E.N.

Head: Bashkirova I.Yu.

Introduction

1. Family education and its forms according to A.S. Makarenko

2. Methods of raising children in the family in the works of A.S. Makarenko

3. Family education and its significance

4. Modern problems and violations of family education

Conclusion

Bibliography

Introduction

Relevance of the study. Education is a part of socializing education. The family has a significant educational influence on the formation of the child's personality. The family is the first social step in a person's life. From early childhood, she directs the consciousness, will, feelings of the child. Under the guidance of parents, children acquire their first life experience, skills and habits of life in society. A.S. Makarenko emphasized: “Education is a social process in the broadest sense. It educates everything: people, things, phenomena, but first of all and most of all - people. Of these, parents and teachers come first. But school and preschool institutions can neither replace nor fully compensate for what the developing personality receives from parents. It is necessary to pedagogically target, enrich, strengthen positive extracurricular influences, include them in the system of one's educational activities, and neutralize negative influences within acceptable limits using professional opportunities.

One of the greatest teachers involved in the study of the problem of raising children in the family was A.S. Makarenko. Anton Semyonovich Makarenko (1888-1939) was a talented innovative teacher, one of the creators of a coherent system of communist education of the younger generation based on Marxist-Leninist teachings. His name is widely known in different countries, his pedagogical experiment, which, according to A. M. Gorky, is of world significance, is being studied everywhere. For 16 years of his activity as the head of the colony named after M. Gorky and the commune named after F. E. Dzerzhinsky, A. S. Makarenko brought up more than 3,000 young citizens of the Soviet country in the spirit of communism. Numerous works by A. S. Makarenko, especially “Pedagogical poem” and “Flags on the towers”, have been translated into many languages. There is a large number of Makarenko's followers among progressive teachers all over the world.

The process of upbringing in the family is the most important means of ensuring the existence of the continuity of generations, it is the historical process of the entry of the younger generation into the life of society. It seems to us relevant to study the concept of family education by A.S. Makarenko and its possible influence on the upbringing of children in the family.

1. Family education and its forms according to A.S. Makarenko

Family education is the conscious efforts of adults to raise a child, which are aimed at ensuring that the younger ones correspond to the older ideas about what a child, teenager, boy or girl should be like. The problems of family education, in the part where they come into contact with the school, are studied by general pedagogy, in other aspects - social.

The determining role of the family is due to its profound influence on the entire complex of the physical and spiritual life of a person growing in it. In addition, the family for the child is both a habitat and an educational environment. Social educators believe that the family and the child are a mirror image of each other. As a result, it is in the family that qualities are formed that cannot be formed anywhere else.

The family is obliged to form a physically and mentally healthy, highly moral, intellectually developed personality, ready for the upcoming work, social and family life. The implementation of this approach of the Russian society to family education involves its implementation in several relatively independent, but interconnected areas. Their content can be reduced to the following positions.

Moral upbringing in the family is the formation of the child's personality as a future active participant in interpersonal interaction. It involves the formation of enduring human values ​​in the younger generation - love, respect, kindness, decency, honesty, justice, conscience, dignity, duty, etc.

intellectual education- involves the interested participation of parents in enriching children with knowledge, shaping their need for their acquisition and constant updating.

Aesthetic education designed to develop the talents and gifts of children, to give them an idea of ​​the Beautiful that exists in life.

Physical education provides for the formation of a child's habit of maintaining a healthy lifestyle and includes the correct organization of the daily routine, physical education and sports, hardening of the body, etc.

Labor education lays the foundation for a future independent life - professional and social activities in the interests of the state, society and one's own family. These are just the main areas of family education. In different families, they are to some extent supplemented by economic, political, environmental, sexual and other areas of educational interaction between children and adults, implemented in the system of intra-family relations.

The leading role of family relations in education lies in the fact that their state determines the measures of functioning and effectiveness of other components of the pedagogical educational potential of the family. Any serious deviation of intra-family relations from the norm means inferiority, and often a crisis of this family, the loss of its educational opportunities. So, the relations between parents and children that have developed in the family inevitably manifest themselves in family education.

2. Methods of raising children in the family in the works of A.S. Makarenko

family education Makarenko pedagogical

A.S. Makarenko did a lot for the development of the Soviet theory of family education, was the initiator of mass propaganda of pedagogically sound principles of education in the family.

In his lecture “On the upbringing of children” in the section “General conditions for family education”, A. Makarenko said: “First of all, we draw your attention to the following: raising a child correctly and normally is much easier than re-educating. Proper upbringing from early childhood is not at all as difficult as it seems to many. According to its difficulty, this work is within the power of every person, every father and every mother. Every person can easily raise his child well, if only he really wants to, and besides, this is a pleasant, joyful, happy business.

Family upbringing (upbringing of children in a family) is a general name for the processes of interaction between parents and children in order to achieve the desired level of development, education and upbringing of children. Public, family and school types of education are carried out in an inseparable unity. The influence of the family is especially significant in the initial period of a child's life and far exceeds all other educational influences.

Upbringing is a very easy thing, upbringing is a happy thing, no work can be compared with the work of upbringing in its ease, in exceptionally valuable, tangible, real satisfaction, A. Makarenko believed.

In the modern practice of family education, three styles (types) of relations are quite clearly distinguished: authoritarian, democratic, and permissive.

Authoritarian style parents in their relationship with children is characterized by strictness, exactingness, categorical attitude. In children, it causes a feeling of fear, insecurity. Psychologists say that this leads to internal resistance, which manifests itself outwardly in rudeness, deceit, hypocrisy. Parental demands cause either protest and aggressiveness, or ordinary apathy and passivity. In the authoritarian type of parent-child relationship, A. S. Makarenko singled out two varieties, which he called the authority of suppression and the authority of distance and swagger. He considered the “authority of suppression” to be the most terrible and wild kind. Cruelty and terror are the main features of such an attitude of parents (often a father) towards children. Always keep children in fear - this is the main principle of despotic relationships. This method of upbringing inevitably produces weak-willed, cowardly, lazy, downtrodden, "slushy", embittered, vindictive and, quite often, tyrannical children. “The authority of distance and swagger” is manifested in the fact, A. Makarenko believed, that parents either “for the purpose of education” or, due to the prevailing circumstances, try to be away from their children - “so that they obey better”. Contacts with children from such parents are an extremely rare phenomenon: they entrusted upbringing to grandparents. Parents do not want to drop their parental prestige, but get the opposite. The alienation of the child begins, and with it comes disobedience and difficult education.

Liberal (permissive) style implies forgiveness, tolerance in relations with children. Its source is excessive parental love. Children grow up undisciplined, irresponsible. Permissive type of attitude A.S. Makarenko calls "the authority of love." Its essence lies in indulging the child, in pursuit of childish affection through the manifestation of excessive affection, permissiveness. In their desire to win the child, parents do not notice that they are raising an egoist, a hypocritical, prudent person who knows how to adapt to people. This is a socially dangerous way of dealing with children. Teachers who show such forgiveness towards the child, A.S. Makarenko called them “pedagogical beasts” who carry out the most stupid, most immoral kind of relationship.

Democratic style characterized by flexibility. Parents, motivating their actions and demands, listen to the opinion of children, respect their position, develop independence of judgment. As a result, children understand their parents better, grow up reasonably obedient, enterprising, with a developed sense of their own dignity. Children see in their parents a model of citizenship, hard work, honesty and the desire to make them what they are. Thus, knowledge of typical relationships in families and styles of parenting helps the teacher to better, faster and more correctly understand which family he is dealing with. Each type of negative relationship has its own ways to overcome them.

The methods of raising children in the family are the ways (methods) by which the purposeful pedagogical influence of parents on the consciousness and behavior of children is carried out. They do not differ from the general methods of education discussed above, but have their own specifics.

Therefore, the methods of family education bear a bright imprint of the personality of the parents and are inseparable from them. How many parents, so many varieties of methods.

3. Family education and its meaning

Recently, radical changes have been taking place with the family, reflecting general civilizational trends and transformations in Russian society. Researchers talk about the formation of a new type of personality orientation, characterized by an orientation towards such values ​​as material security, enterprise, property, independence, personal success, about the “introduction” of the principle of personal autonomy into the modern family, about the fact that spouses are increasingly striving for self-actualization, self-development, self-improvement outside the family, which, according to some scientists, creates a threat of destabilization of the family, leads to an increase in the number of dysfunctional families.

On the other hand, society sets before middle-aged people the tasks of personal development, self-actualization, professional and career growth, establishing ties outside the family, so the “removal” of parents from a child at this age, as noted by V.S. Sobkin and E.M. Marich, - a natural phenomenon.

Such changes in the system of value-semantic orientations of the parents of children affect the functioning of the family, and, first of all, the educational function. In adolescence, the child strives for autonomy, but at the same time needs parents, their help and emotional support. Violations of family education, frustrating these needs of the child, at this age are directly related to negative consequences for the emotional state of the child, for his mental and personal development.

Traditionally, the main institution of education is the family. What a child acquires in the family in childhood, he retains throughout his subsequent life. The importance of the family as an institution of education is due to the fact that the child lives in it for a significant part of his life, and in terms of the duration of his impact on the personality, none of the institutions of education can be compared with the family.

The family can act as both a positive and a negative factor in upbringing. The positive impact on the personality of the child is that no one, except for the people closest to him in the family, treats the child better, does not love him and does not care so much about him. And at the same time, no other social institution can potentially do as much harm in raising children as a family can.

It is in the family that the child receives the first life experience, makes the first observations and learns how to behave in various situations. It is very important that what we teach a child is supported by concrete examples, so that he sees that in adults theory does not diverge from practice.

Each of the parents sees in their children their continuation, the realization of certain attitudes or ideals. And it's very hard to get away from them.

4. Modern problems and violations of family education

The educational function of the family was given great importance at all stages of the development of society. Relationships in the family were built on a fundamentally new basis - on equality and mutual respect of spouses - which created favorable conditions for establishing a fair distribution of labor between a man and a woman, household behavior and mutual responsibility of parents for children. Noting the progressive changes in the development of the family, one cannot but pay attention to the factors complicating this development. Thus, the change in the position of women in society has caused a contradiction between her social roles, which often gives rise to tension and conflicts in family relations and has a negative impact on the upbringing of children. The employment of women in the sphere of social production leads to a weakening of control over the behavior of children, insufficient attention to their upbringing. In addition, the contradiction between the professional and family roles of a woman, along with some other circumstances, is one of the reasons for the decline in the birth rate. In this regard, the problem of raising one child in a family arises.

A. S. Makarenko's warning is known that raising an only son or daughter is much more difficult than raising several children. As a rule, parents concentrate maximum attention on one child, protect him from all sorts of difficulties, overprotect him, being in the power of blind, unreasonable love. In addition, the absence of sisters and brothers in the family impoverishes the life of the child, adversely affects the development of his emotional sphere, the formation of feelings.

Speaking about the modern family, one cannot ignore such a problem as the increase in the number of divorces. This phenomenon reflects the breaking of the old and the development of new foundations of family relations, moral norms. The reasons for divorce are different: contradictions between the professional and family roles of a woman; the desire of spouses for maximum justice in the distribution of rights and obligations in the family, which gives rise to intra-family conflicts, quarrels, conflicts. This refers to the everyday overload of a woman, which adversely affects marital relationships, creates tension in communication with children.

The low morality of the marriage union, the irresponsible attitude of parents (mostly fathers) to the upbringing of children, and the drunkenness of parents also lead to divorce. In this regard, the problem of raising a child in an incomplete family arises. Children from incomplete families are more likely than their peers growing up in a complete family to commit immoral acts and offenses.

A certain difficulty is raising a child in conditions of full prosperity, and sometimes excess. Material goods are often turned to the detriment of children if parents do not educate them in healthy spiritual needs. The steady growth of the material well-being of the family requires close pedagogical attention to the formation of reasonable needs in children, the ability to manage their desires, and the inculcation of responsibility to the family and society for their behavior.

In recent decades, the family has become the subject of close attention of educators, psychologists, sociologists, and lawyers. The family is a specific intimate system. The specificity of the educational function of the family lies in the fact that the relationships of its members are built on the basis of kinship and love. The specificity of family education lies in the fact that it begins with the birth of a child, when he most of all needs care and guidance from adults. Staying for a long time in constant, direct communication with parents or other family members, the child is gradually included in the multifaceted life of the family team, in all spheres of human life. In the family, children satisfy biological and spiritual needs, learn the most important moral concepts. All this contributes to the formation of moral attitudes, judgments, develops skills and habits, ways of behavior.

Through the relationship of children with parents and other family members, relations between representatives of different generations and different sexes are realized. Communicating with people close by blood, receiving support, approval, censure from them, the child socializes, gradually comprehends the norms of life, learns to see the world through the eyes of the family and parents. He actively perceives and masters the social experience of his first educators, especially his parents.

The relationship between children and parents is built on an emotional basis, on mutual love, care, respect, on anxieties and worries for a loved one, which gives family contacts a special character.

It should also be emphasized that the family is characterized by the intimacy of relations between its members, due to which special conditions are created for mutual influences, the cultivation of good feelings, for individual advice and consolation, approval, and the correction of undesirable personality traits. The family prepares the child to play the role of a citizen, acting for him as a conductor of ideas and moral norms.

All these features of the family make it an indispensable social institution in preparing the younger generation for life, and family education is a necessary factor in the normal development of the child's personality.

With the change in the socio-economic and political development of society, its requirements for the moral and educational activities of the family also change. If family education is not consistent with the requirements of society, then serious miscalculations are made in the formation of the child's personality. A. S. Makarenko attached great importance to this feature and believed that our family is not a closed team, but constitutes an organic part of society, that any attempt by the family to build its own experience, regardless of the moral requirements of society, will necessarily lead to disproportion, which sounds like an alarm signal of danger .

The unity of the educational tasks of the family and society, the consistency of the requirements of family and social education are the primary necessity in the formation of a comprehensively, harmoniously developed personality.

So, at the present stage of society, the further development and improvement of the educational function of the family is facilitated by: the tireless care of the state about the family; steady increase in her material well-being and improvement of living conditions; the unity of the educational tasks of the family and society; consistency of educational influences on the child of the school, family and society as a whole; an increase in the general educational, cultural and pedagogical level of parents, an increase in the moral and civic responsibility of parents for the upbringing of the younger generation.

The issue of education is one of the most important issues, because it has a direct and immediate connection with the development of mankind. Traditionally, the main institution of human education, starting immediately from the moment of his birth and sometimes ending with his formation as a mature person, was and remains the family. The family is that magical mirror in which, like in a fairy tale, all failures, worries, anxieties, victories and successes are reflected, both in the personal and in the public life of all family members.

A number of researchers note that the values ​​of the family are being replaced by the values ​​of individualization, material wealth and professional growth, which leads to an increase in the number of dysfunctional families (A.I. Antonov, O.M. Zdravomyslova, N.G. Markovskaya, etc.).

However, if we follow this logic, then parents who have launched the family sphere should achieve great success in the extra-family sphere, satisfying the needs for self-actualization of their “I”, self-developing and self-improving. But it is known that this does not happen in most dysfunctional families (A.N. Elizarov).

Other studies, on the contrary, state the paramount importance of the value of the family (I.S. Artyukhova, T.N. Kukhtevich, N.L. Moskvicheva, A.A. Rean, V.S. Sobkin, E.M. Marich, etc.) .

Each family develops a certain, far from always realized by its members, system of education or style of family relationships. Taking into account the goals, objectives, methods and techniques of education, what can and cannot be allowed in relation to a child, several types of family education can be distinguished.

Types of education "Cinderella-type education", "Permanent guardianship education", "Family idol education", "Indifference education", "Gift education", "Trust education".

The family is a special kind of collective that plays the main, long-term and most important role in education. Anxious mothers often raise anxious children; ambitious parents often suppress their children so much that it leads to the appearance of an inferiority complex in them; an unrestrained father who loses his temper at the slightest provocation, often, without knowing it, forms a similar type of behavior in his children, etc.

It is in the family that the child receives the first life experience, makes the first observations and learns how to behave in various situations. It is very important that what we teach a child is supported by concrete examples, so that he sees that in adults theory does not diverge from practice. (If your child sees that his mom and dad, who tell him every day that it’s not good to lie, without noticing it, deviate from this rule, all education can go down the drain.)

Conclusion

From birth, a child is connected with his parents by an invisible "thread" and the formation of personality directly depends on what kind of relationship is established between them.

A. S. Makarenko is an innovative teacher who enriched Soviet pedagogy with valuable pedagogical ideas, methods and techniques (a system of perspective lines, the principle of parallel action, the style and tone of a teacher, etc.). He gave a new interpretation to a number of pedagogical issues and developed in detail the problems put forward earlier, but not sufficiently developed before him by Soviet pedagogy (education in a team, family education, etc.).

Family education (raising children in the family) is a general name for the processes of interaction between parents and children in order to achieve the desired level of development, education and upbringing of children. Public, family and school types of education are carried out in an inseparable unity. The elementary school teacher relies on the family in raising children, directs family education in a humanistic direction. He understands the problems of the modern family well, does everything in his power to ensure that the processes of family and school education go in harmony.

The family for the child is both a habitat and an educational environment. The influence of the family is especially significant in the initial period of a child's life and far exceeds all other educational influences. According to research, the family in this is ahead of both the school and the media, the influence of the street, friends, literature and art. This allowed teachers to deduce the dependence: the success of personality formation is determined primarily by the family. The better the family, and the better it influences upbringing, the higher the results of the physical, moral, labor education of the individual. With rare exceptions, dependence is constantly confirmed: what kind of family, such a person who grew up in it.

This dependence has long been used by teachers. It is enough for an experienced teacher to look at the child, communicate with him in order to understand in which family he is brought up. In the same way, it is not difficult, after talking with parents, to establish what kind of children grow up in their family. Family and child are mirror images of each other.

In this work, we analyzed the psychological and pedagogical literature on the issue under study and determined the theoretical foundations of family education and characterized its forms according to the works of A.S. Makarenko; were able to consider the methods and means of raising children in the family in the works of A.S. Makarenko; note the specifics of family education and determine its significance and present an analysis of modern problems and violations of family education.

Each family, said Makarenko, runs its own household, the child is a member of the family and, consequently, a participant in the entire family economy. From an early age, in family conditions, he is accustomed to his future economic activity on a larger scale. It is here, in the conditions of family economic activity, that children are brought up with collectivism and honesty.

It should be noted that the theoretical provisions of A.S. Makarenko, concerning the social essence of education, its social nature have not lost their relevance in the current conditions. They make it possible to clarify the categorical apparatus of modern social pedagogy and, in our opinion, can have a beneficial effect on the process of accumulating reliable knowledge in this relatively new scientific discipline.

Consequently, we fulfilled the tasks set in the work, considered the features of raising a child in a family, noting the views of A.S. Makarenko to this question, thereby achieved the goal.

Bibliography

1. Vygotsky, L.S. Psychology of child development: Textbook / L.S. Vygotsky - M.: Academy 2006. 512p.

2. Kulik L.A. Family education: Textbook / L.A. Kulik - M.: Enlightenment 2003. 175s.

3. Lazarev A.A. Family Pedagogy: Textbook / A.A. Lazarev - M.: Academy 2005. 314s.

4. Makarenko A.S. A book for parents: [Lectures on parenting] / [Comp. and author. enter. article by K.I. Belyaev]. - M.: Enlightenment, 1969.-359 p.

5. Makarenko A.S. On upbringing in the family: Izb. ped. works / [Enter. article by E. Medynsky and I. Petrukhin]. -M.: Uchpedgiz, 1955.- 320 p.

6. Makarenko, A.S. Purpose of education: Textbook / A.S. Makarenko - M.: Pedagogy 1984. 380s.

7. Markovskaya N.G. The place of the family in the system of value orientations of the individual: Abstract of the thesis. day..cand. sociological Sciences. M., 1990.

8. Shakhtorina E.V. Theory and Methods of Educational Work: Guidelines for Students of the Correspondence Department of the Faculty of Pedagogy and Psychology. - Kaliningrad: Publishing House of KGU, 2003. - 24 p.

9. Makarenko, A.S. Purpose of education: Textbook / A.S. Makarenko - M.: Pedagogy 1984. 380s.

10. Markovskaya N.G. The place of the family in the system of value orientations of the individual: Abstract of the thesis. day..cand. sociological Sciences. M., 1990.

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Consideration of the essence, basic principles and relevance of the educational system of A.S. Makarenko. The value of pedagogical technology in the organization of the educational process. The role of his ideas in the education of the individual and the training of the modern teacher.

Introduction

Chapter 1. Historical and pedagogical aspects of the development of education in the era of A.S. Makarenko

1.1 The picture of the historical time of the era of A.S. Makarenko

1.2 Teachers of the era of A.S. Makarenko about raising a child in a family

1.3 A.S. Makarenko on the forms of raising children in the family

Chapter 2. Methods and means of raising children in the family in the works of A.S. Makarenko and their application in practice

2.1. The main methods and means of raising children in the family in the works of A.S. Makarenko

2.2. Analysis of the experience of working with children from different families in the practice of A.S. Makarenko

Conclusion

Bibliography

Introduction

From the first day of a child's life, parents begin to fulfill their main parental duty - they become educators. Through joys and trials, they lead a growing person along the path of development of his spiritual and physical strength, to spiritual and physical maturity.

The great Russian educator K. D. Ushinsky answers: “The art of education has the peculiarity that it seems familiar and understandable to almost everyone, and sometimes even an easy matter, and the more understandable and easier it is, the less familiar a person is theoretically or practically. Almost everyone admits that parenting requires patience; some think that it requires an innate ability and skill, that is, a habit; but very few have come to the conclusion that, in addition to patience, innate ability and skill, special knowledge is also needed. In our time, it is all the more impossible to raise children "as God puts on the soul." Let us continue the thought of K. D. Ushinsky with the considerations of the Soviet teacher A. S. Makarenko: “... you have given birth and are raising a son or daughter not only for parental joy. A future citizen, a future activist and a future fighter is growing in your family and under your leadership. If you make a mistake, bring up a bad person, grief from this will be not only for you, but also for many people and the whole country.

The family should be the place where a growing person meets with questions that adults and, first of all, mother and father help him find answers to. Therefore, a very important role in this is played by the spiritual atmosphere surrounding the person - the family. A family that cultivates partnerships, promotes the formation of a personality, develops its individuality, and where the main core of all components should be a dialogue between its members, which imposes certain obligations on all participants in communication. The family is a support that can accelerate the movement of society towards spiritual renewal, which manifests itself when all family members turn to morality, sanctified by centuries and the experience of generations, where the upbringing of family members is considered the duty of everyone. But how to achieve this? It is difficult to answer this question unambiguously, because ... the answer to it is five components: the first is love for children, the second is mutual understanding, the third is mutual respect, the fourth is the traditions on which education is based, and the fifth is dialogue. It is difficult to overestimate the importance of each of the components, because the lack of at least one of them will undoubtedly lead to the futility of the existence of the others.

At each stage of socio-historical development, family education, in its purpose, content and forms, has a concrete historical character. Therefore, the changes that have taken place in society over the last two decades of the 20th century have left an imprint of the "collapse" of the family in the matter of raising and educating children. Today there is every reason to assert that the modern family has somewhat moved away from what was once considered the custodian of those best qualities that were passed on by the older generation to the younger one. She unwittingly turned into a place where the spiritual and moral in the process of education gradually fades away. Therefore, the reality of the 21st century requires the creation of a family where the child is initiated into the world of spiritual perfection, where the educational process is carried out through empathy, where the personal relationships of adults - parents and children form the desire to learn good habits. That is, family education is the most important social function associated with the transfer of accumulated experience from one generation of people to another, and the purposeful socialization of the individual. Family environment, this phrase implies a fairly wide range of phenomena - it is, first of all, an integral system of historical social relations, features of relationships between family members, language and traditions. That is, the family appears in all the diversity and richness of its relationship with the world, it is seen as a complex and self-developing system.

Thus, the process of upbringing in the family is the most important means of ensuring the existence of the continuity of generations, this is the historical process of the entry of the younger generation into the life of society.

All of the above leads to relevance studying the concept of family education A.S. Makarenko and its possible influence on the upbringing of children in the family.

In connection with the relevance, we have formulated research topic: A.S. Makarenko about raising children in the family.

Research problem: What is the influence of the concept of family education by A.S. Makarenko on raising children in the family.

Target: To study the influence of the concept of family education by A.S. Makarenko on raising children in the family.

Target: is to solve the problem.

An object: raising children in the family in accordance with the concept of family education A. Makarenko.

Subject: pedagogical and psychological aspects of raising children in the family.

In accordance with the purpose, object, subject of research, we have formed the following tasks:

1. Explore the concepts of "pedagogy" and "psychology" of the family.

2. Expand the concept of A.S. Makarenko about pedagogical aspects in the upbringing of children in the family.

3. Analyze the theory of A.S. Makarenko about the psychological climate in the upbringing of children in the family.

Research hypothesis: if the pedagogical and psychological aspects of A.S. Makarenko, the defining role of the family will be due to its deep influence on the entire complex of physical, spiritual and psychological life of a person growing in it.

Research methods: analysis of psychological and pedagogical literature in the aspect of the problem under study, the study of existing pedagogical experience, generalization, systematization.

Practical significance the study is to study the concept of family education A.S. Makarenko and its influence on the upbringing of children in the family, which can serve as a basis for further research.

Course work consists of introduction, two chapters, conclusion, literature, application.

In the introduction the relevance of the topic is substantiated, the problem, goal, tasks, object and subject, hypothesis, research methods are determined.

In the first chapter“Pedagogical aspects of raising children in the family in accordance with the ideas of Makarenko” defines the concept of “family pedagogy”, explores the concept of A.S. Makarenko about pedagogical aspects in the upbringing of children in the family.

In the second chapter“Psychological aspects of raising children in the family in accordance with the ideas of Makarenko” defines the concept of “family psychology”, also reveals the main aspects of the theory of A.S. Makarenko about the psychological climate in the upbringing of children in the family.

In custody the main conclusions of the study are presented.

Application contains exemplary programs of research conversations, variants of questionnaires and tests.

Overall volume course work is 37 pages of printed text.

Bibliography includes 29 titles.

Provisions for defense:

Family education is the most important social function associated with the transfer of accumulated experience from one generation of people to another, and the purposeful socialization of the individual.

The concept of family education A.S. Makarenko is relevant at the present time, as it is actively used in the practice of raising children in the family.

During the experimental part, we proved that the psychological climate, in accordance with the concept of family education by A.S. Makarenko influences the upbringing of children in the family.

Chapter 1. Historical and pedagogical aspects of the development of education in the era of A.S. Makarenko

1.1 The picture of the historical time of the era of A.S. Makarenko

Domestic pedagogical science at the present stage of development is characterized by in-depth self-knowledge, intense reflection of its cultural roots, social determinants, internal mechanisms of self-assertion and self-development, goals, values ​​and norms of one's own cognitive activity in the context of its social consequences. Scientific knowledge is given new guidelines for the formation of disciplinary norms, standards and means of research. In this regard, pedagogical science turns to rethinking its own methodological foundations with the aim of their revision, critical reflection or amnesty and further development.

In post-revolutionary Russia, the construction of the school education system went on for almost a decade. In December 1917, by a special resolution of the Council of People's Commissars, all educational institutions were transferred to the People's Commissariat of Education. Back in 1918, at the First All-Russian Congress on Education, V. I. Lenin declared the primary role of the school in establishing communist morality. Here the positions of the Soviet government were formulated in the following documents: "Regulations on the organization of public education in the Russian Republic" (approved by the Council of People's Commissars on June 18, 1918) and "Regulations on a unified labor school" (approved by the All-Russian Central Executive Committee on September 30, 1918).

The task of training conscious fighters for the cause of communism, active builders of a new society, was set before the Soviet school from the moment of its inception. The decree of the All-Russian Central Executive Committee of the Soviets "Regulations on the unified labor school of the RSFSR" dated September 30, 1918 spoke of the need

to educate students as "future citizens of a socialist republic." In the introductory article to the decree, among the qualities of a future citizen were called "industriousness, perseverance, the general public, the ability to share feelings and solidarity, voluntary discipline, diverse and expedient activity." Along with these qualities, the features, according to the founders of Soviet pedagogy, inherent in the proletarian fighter should have coexisted: hatred for the enemies of the working class, for everyone who interferes with building a better future. New principles of the educational process were determined: the secular nature of education, the organic connection of education with productive labor - the solution of the practical problems of society.

Joint education of boys and girls was introduced, some subjects (ancient languages, the law of God) were withdrawn from the curricula, new ones were introduced. The former school system was liquidated: primary, various types of secondary school - gymnasiums, real schools. Instead of them

a two-stage school was introduced: the first for children from 8 to 13, the second - for 13 to 17 years, which reduced the previous period of study by three years. There were some "excesses": exams, homework, assessments were canceled in schools, they refused to develop curricula and programs under the slogan: "Study life, not school subjects." In addition, in the new party program adopted by the Eighth Congress of the RCP(b) in March 1919, special attention was paid to the exclusively political task of the school. In the preamble to the section, it was emphasized that the RCP in the field of public education sets the main task of "transforming the school from an instrument of the class rule of the bourgeoisie into an instrument for the complete destruction of the division of society into classes, into an instrument for the communist transformation of society." The program, among other things, outlined the training of educators "imbued with the ideas of communism", the development of the widest propaganda of "communist ideas" and the use for this purpose of the "apparatus and means of state power." Thus, the program regarded education as a political and educational tool, and even more so - as a means of forming a new type of person, a “new person”. This task of the school has become the main one, covering all aspects of training, education and upbringing.

A versatile composition of academic subjects, including the humanities, physical and mathematical and natural sciences;

A large number of teaching hours in language and literature, mathematics and natural sciences;

A significant number of hours for physical education.

In the future, the curricula of the Soviet school were repeatedly revised, but these characteristic features remained unchanged. In the mid-1920s, there were attempts to introduce integrated programs: the entire body of knowledge was presented in the form of a single set of information about nature, labor, and human society. Thus, they tried to fill the gap between different school subjects and connect learning with life and practice. New teaching methods and techniques were introduced. The school had two stages: primary and secondary, which had different durations in different years. In 1930, universal compulsory primary education was announced. A number of resolutions of the Central Committee of the All-Union Communist Party of Bolsheviks in the 1930s clearly defined the requirements for a general education school: to ensure a high level of knowledge, polytechnic education in close connection with a solid mastery of the fundamentals of science. It was pointed out that the main form of organizing educational work should be a lesson “with a given group of students with a strictly defined class schedule and a solid composition of students” with a clear definition of the duration and structure of the academic year. The school was focused on education of the information type, producing knowledge, skills and abilities. With the help of education, acute social problems were solved: first, teaching all citizens to read and write, then raising the level of education of the population, training professional personnel for all branches of production and the cultural sphere.

As a bright representative of his time, A. S. Makarenko believed that a teacher's clear knowledge of the goals of education is the most indispensable condition for successful pedagogical activity. In the conditions of Soviet society, the goal of education should be, he pointed out, the education of an active participant in socialist construction, a person devoted to the ideas of communism. Makarenko argued that achieving this goal is quite possible. “... The upbringing of a new person is a happy and feasible task for pedagogy,” he said, referring to Marxist-Leninist pedagogy.

Respect for the personality of the child, a benevolent view of his potential to perceive the good, become better and show an active attitude towards the environment has always been the basis of the innovative pedagogical activity of A. S. Makarenko. He approached his pupils with the Gorky call "As much respect for a person as possible and as much demand for him as possible." To the call for all-forgiving, patient love for children widespread in the 1920s, Makarenko added his own: love and respect for children must necessarily be combined with demands on them; children need “demanding love,” he said. Socialist humanism, expressed in these words and running through Makarenko's entire pedagogical system, is one of its basic principles. A. S. Makarenko deeply believed in the creative powers of man, in his possibilities. He sought to “project the best in man.

Supporters of "free education" objected to any punishment of children, stating that "punishment brings up a slave." Makarenko rightly objected to them, saying that “impunity brings up a bully,” and believed that wisely chosen, skillfully and rarely applied punishments, except, of course, corporal ones, are quite acceptable.

AS Makarenko resolutely fought against pedology. He was one of the first to speak out against the “law” formulated by pedologists on the fatalistic conditionality of the fate of children by heredity and some kind of unchanging environment. He argued that any Soviet child, offended or spoiled by the abnormal conditions of his life, can improve, provided that a favorable environment is created and the correct methods of education are applied.

In any educational Soviet institution, pupils should be oriented towards the future, and not towards the past, they should be called forward, joyful real prospects should be opened to them. Orientation to the future is, according to Makarenko, the most important law of socialist construction, which is entirely directed to the future, it corresponds to the life aspirations of every person. “To educate a person means to educate him,” said A. S. Makarenko, “promising paths along which his tomorrow's joy is located. You can write a whole methodology for this important work. This work should be organized according to a "system of perspective lines."

1.2 Teachers of the era of A.S. Makarenko about raising a child in a family

By the 1920s - 1930s, the flowering of creativity of such prominent domestic teachers and educators as P. P. Blonsky, A. P. Boltunov, G. O. Gordon, A. G. Kalashnikov, N. K. Krupskaya, A. V. Lunacharsky, A. S. Makarenko, A. P. Pinkevich, M. M. Pistrak, M. N. Pokrovsky, S. T. Shatsky, V. N. Shulgin and others, which largely determined the development of Russian pedagogy .

N. K. Krupskaya in the article "Education", published in 1928, showed the difference between education in the broad and narrow sense of the word. By education in the broad sense of the word, N. K. Krupskaya understood education in the thick of life. Education in the narrow sense of the word meant the planned, systematic influence of an adult on a child and adolescent. N. K. Krupskaya considered education as an organic part of social life, as a condition for the formation of a new type of people, conscious participants in production, who understand the interests of society as a whole, the connection between individual branches of production, their interconnection. She showed in her works the need for an active, conscious position of the educated person in the educational process. She believed that the school should be connected by many-sided contacts with the life of youth, adults and, first of all, with the life of the working class, in order to establish a spiritual connection between the factory and the school, a spiritual kinship with the working class. N.K. Krupskaya saw the activation of the child’s position, his involvement in socially significant activities in the creation of highly developed teams, in a new - different from the bourgeois - form of self-government, in the socio-political orientation of the entire life of the student, carried out in pioneer and Komsomol organizations. For the first time in Soviet pedagogy, N. K. Krupskaya gave a theoretical development of the educational possibilities of socio-political children's and youth organizations.

Based on the ideas of communist education, A. V. Lunacharsky, when characterizing the essence of the process of education, attached great importance to the individual’s own activity in mastering communist morality, corresponding to the skills of the social community: “... it is necessary to develop a citizen in a person,” he wrote, “it is necessary to develop such a personality who knows how to live in harmony with others, a person who knows how to work together, who is connected with others by sympathy and thought socially.

The works of P. P. Blonsky and S. T. Shatsky were of great importance for the development of the theory of communist education. Considering education as an integral process, P. P. Blonsky saw its main function in stimulating the development of the individual. “... Education,” he wrote in the article “On the Most Typical Pedagogical Mistakes in the Organization of a Labor School,” “should not be processing, not polishing, but internal stimulation of the development of the child.” P. P. Blonsky saw the significance of socialist pedagogy in the fact that it educates a worker - a creator - a builder, it is a culture of vigorous activity, ingenuity and creativity.

According to S. T. Shatsky, the main thing in the educational process is its unity. In the article "The Coming School" he wrote: "... it would be natural to believe that these three elements of pedagogical activity - method, program, organization - should be built in such a way that one follows from the other and thus an idea of ​​the unity of the educational process would be obtained. ".

Thus, in the works of N. K. Krupskaya, A. V. Lunacharsky, P. P. Blonsky, S. T. Shatsky, great importance was attached to such an organization of the pedagogical process, which ensures active interaction between educators and students.

The theoretical views of A. S. Makarenko on communist education are permeated with humanistic ideas, which are based on a combination of the influences of the team and the development of the activity of the individual, his civic qualities, social responsibility based on conscious discipline and a sense of duty. A. S. Makarenko considered the exact fulfillment of duties in society as the most important moral category. And in this regard, he attached extremely great importance to education itself: “... you need to get used to the new requirements of a new morality in order to comply with these requirements, without burdening our consciousness each time with separate searches ...”.

V. A. Sukhomlinsky, developing the theory of communist education, substantiated the need for a holistic approach to the comprehensive development of the personality, the formation of a civic orientation of its moral qualities. V. A. Sukhomlinsky considered predisposition to education, readiness to be brought up as the most important condition for the effectiveness of the educational process. The essence of the educational process reflects the internal connections and relationships that are characteristic of this process and are manifested in certain patterns and trends.

Thus, in Soviet pedagogy, when revealing the essence of education, they most often emphasize not just the influence of educators on the psychology of the educated, but precisely the purposeful interaction of educators and educates, the organization of certain relations between them, the development of the activity of the educated, leading to the assimilation of socially significant social experience by them.

1.3 A.S. Makarenko on the forms of raising children in the family

As you know, the pedagogical interaction of people is not limited only to the framework of an educational institution. Its tasks are also solved by other public structures and organizations. As a result, in recent years, the phenomenon of “public education” has been singled out in pedagogy, which is understood as pedagogical interaction carried out in the “person-to-person” system, i.e. through direct human relations, as well as public institutions specially approved for this purpose - charitable foundations, organizations, associations, etc. In modern domestic pedagogical literature, family education is seen as a process of pedagogical interaction between parents and other family members with children in order to create the necessary social and pedagogical conditions for the harmonious development of the child's personality, the formation of his vital qualities and personality traits. At certain periods, nannies, tutors, home teachers and tutors may be involved in family education.

Therefore, family education is a conscious effort of adults to raise a child, which is aimed at ensuring that the younger ones correspond to the older ideas about what a child, teenager, boy or girl should be like. At the same time, family education is considered as an integral part of a relatively controlled socialization of a person in a modern civilized society. It is carried out in close connection with other types of social education - school and public. The problems of family education, in the part where they come into contact with the school, are studied by general pedagogy, in other aspects - social.

The determining role of the family is due to its profound influence on the entire complex of the physical and spiritual life of a person growing in it. In addition, the family for the child is both a habitat and an educational environment. Social educators believe that the family and the child are a mirror image of each other. As a result, it is in the family that qualities are formed that cannot be formed anywhere else. In addition, the family carries out socialization (adaptation to the surrounding community of people - society) of the individual, is a concentrated expression of her efforts in the physical, moral and labor education, professional orientation of the younger generation. That is why it is the family that forms the content of society: what is a typical family - such is society. It follows that the most important social function of the family is the education of a citizen, a patriot, a future family man, a law-abiding member of society. At the same time, it is in the family that other pedagogical tasks are solved. Their totality forms the content of family education.

The content of education in the family is determined by the general goal of a democratic society. The family is obliged to form a physically and mentally healthy, highly moral, intellectually developed personality, ready for the upcoming work, social and family life. The implementation of this approach of the Russian society to family education involves its implementation in several relatively independent, but interconnected areas. Their content can be reduced to the following positions.

Moral education in the family is a core component of the formation of the child's personality as a future active participant in interpersonal interaction. It involves the formation of enduring human values ​​in the younger generation - love, respect, kindness, decency, honesty, justice, conscience, dignity, duty, etc.

intellectual education- involves the interested participation of parents in enriching children with knowledge, shaping their need for their acquisition and constant updating.

Aesthetic education designed to develop the talents and gifts of children, to give them an idea of ​​the Beautiful that exists in life.

Physical education provides for the formation of a child's habit of maintaining a healthy lifestyle and includes the correct organization of the daily routine, physical education and sports, hardening of the body, etc.

Labor education lays the foundation for a future independent life - professional and social activities in the interests of the state, society and one's own family. These are just the main directions of family education. In different families, they are to some extent supplemented by economic, political, environmental, sexual and other areas of educational interaction between children and adults, implemented in the system of intra-family relations.

It is believed that intra-family relations are the leading component of family education, since they, as a certain social community, act as a specific system of communication and interaction between its members that arise to meet their various needs. In addition, the natural basis of the family is marriage and family ties, which in a certain sense are primary.

In addition to them, the family also includes economic, legal, moral, emotional, psychological and other ties. Intra-family relations are also interconnected with national and domestic relations. In a generalized form, it is the family that accumulates all of them in itself. The importance of intra-family relations in the formation and development of an individual is due, first of all, to the fact that they are the first specific model of social relations that a person encounters from the moment of birth. In addition, they focus and find a kind of miniature expression of all the richness of social relations, which creates the possibility of early inclusion of the child in their system.

The leading role of family relations in education lies in the fact that their state determines the measures of functioning and effectiveness of other components of the pedagogical educational potential of the family. Any serious deviation of intra-family relations from the norm means inferiority, and often a crisis of this family, the loss of its educational opportunities.

Intra-family relations act in the form of interpersonal relations carried out in the process of direct communication of family members. Interpersonal communication is one of the socio-psychological mechanisms of personality formation. The need for it is universal in nature and is the fundamental highest social need of man. It is in the process of communicating with adults that the child acquires the skills of speech and thinking, objective actions, masters the basics of human experience in various areas of life, learns and learns the rules of relationships, the qualities inherent in people, their aspirations and ideals, gradually embodying the moral foundations of life experience in their own activities. . Already in the game, he models the life of adults with its rules and norms. In the system of intra-family relations, relations between spouses are dominant. They create a family and define its face. The moral and emotional climate of the family, and, consequently, its educational opportunities, depends on the nature and state of marital relations.

The degree of moral and emotional completeness and expressiveness of marital relations is differently represented in such types of families as democratic, authoritarian and transitional families. Accordingly, their influence on the moral and mental development of children is not the same. The upbringing of a child largely depends on the contacts that are established between parents and children. The influence of the relationship of parents to children on the characteristics of their development is diverse. Sufficiently convincing evidence has been obtained that in families with strong contacts, respectful attitude towards children, such qualities as benevolence, the ability to empathize, the ability to resolve conflict situations, etc. are more actively formed in them. They tend to have a more adequate awareness of the "I - image" (of oneself in the system of interpersonal relations), its integrity, and a developed sense of human dignity. All this makes them sociable, providing high prestige in the peer group. In families with an authoritarian attitude of parents towards children, the formation of these qualities is difficult and distorted. Many researchers come to the conclusion that the features of the relationship between parents and children are fixed in their own behavior and become a model in their further contacts with others. The attitude of parents, which is characterized by negative emotional coloring, hurts and hardens the child. Since the child's consciousness is prone to one-sided conclusions and generalizations due to the limited life experience, the child has distorted judgments about people, erroneous criteria for their relationships. The rudeness or indifference of the parents gives the child reason to believe that a stranger will cause him even more grief. So there are feelings of hostility and suspicion, fear of other people.

So, the relations between parents and children that have developed in the family inevitably manifest themselves in family education.

Chapter 2. Methods and means of raising children in the family in the works of A.S. Makarenko and their application in practice

2.1 The main methods and means of raising children in the family in the works of A.S. Makarenko

Makarenko did a lot for the development of the Soviet theory of family education, was the initiator of mass propaganda of pedagogically sound principles of education in the family.

In his lecture “On the upbringing of children” in the section “General conditions for family upbringing”, A. Makarenko said: “First of all, we draw your attention to the following: raising a child correctly and normally is much easier than re-educating. Proper upbringing from early childhood is not at all as difficult as it seems to many. According to its difficulty, this work is within the power of every person, every father and every mother. Every person can easily raise his child well, if only he really wants to, and besides, this is a pleasant, joyful, happy business.

family education(raising children in the family) - the general name for the processes of interaction between parents and children in order to achieve the desired level of development, education and upbringing of children. Public, family and school types of education are carried out in an inseparable unity. The elementary school teacher relies on the family in raising children, directs family education in a humanistic direction. He understands the problems of the modern family well, does everything in his power to ensure that the processes of family and school education go in harmony. The family for the child is both a habitat and an educational environment. The influence of the family is especially significant in the initial period of a child's life and far exceeds all other educational influences. According to research, the family in this is ahead of both the school and the media, the influence of the street, friends, literature and art. This allowed teachers to deduce the dependence: the success of personality formation is determined primarily by the family. The better the family, and the better it influences upbringing, the higher the results of the physical, moral, labor education of the individual. With rare exceptions, dependence is constantly confirmed: what kind of family, such a person who grew up in it.

Upbringing is a very easy thing, upbringing is a happy thing, no work can be compared with the work of upbringing in its ease, in exceptionally valuable, tangible, real satisfaction, A. Makarenko believed.

In the modern practice of family education, three styles (types) of relations are quite clearly distinguished: authoritarian, democratic, and permissive.

Authoritarian the style of parents in relations with children is characterized by strictness, exactingness, and categorical attitude. Threats, prodding, coercion - these are the main means of this style. In children, it causes a feeling of fear, insecurity. Psychologists say that this leads to internal resistance, which manifests itself outwardly in rudeness, deceit, hypocrisy. Parental demands cause either protest and aggressiveness, or ordinary apathy and passivity.

In the authoritarian type of parent-child relationship, A. S. Makarenko singled out two varieties, which he called the authority of suppression and the authority of distance and swagger. "The Authority of Suppression" he considered the most terrible and wild species, Cruelty and terror - these are the main features of such an attitude of parents (often a father) to children. Always keep children in fear - this is the main principle of despotic relationships. This method of upbringing inevitably produces weak-willed, cowardly, lazy, downtrodden, "slushy", embittered, vindictive and, quite often, tyrannical children.

"The authority of distance and swagger" manifests itself in the fact, A. Makarenko believed, that parents, either “for the purpose of education”, or due to the prevailing circumstances, try to be away from their children - “so that they obey better”. Contacts with children from such parents are an extremely rare phenomenon: they entrusted upbringing to grandparents. Parents do not want to drop their parental prestige, but get the opposite. The alienation of the child begins, and with it comes disobedience and difficult education.

Liberal (permissive) style implies forgiveness, tolerance in relations with children. Its source is excessive parental love. Children grow up undisciplined, irresponsible. Permissive type of attitude A.S. Makarenko calls "authority of love". Its essence lies in indulging the child, in pursuit of childish affection through the manifestation of excessive affection, permissiveness. In their desire to win the child, parents do not notice that they are raising an egoist, a hypocritical, prudent person who knows how to adapt to people. This is a socially dangerous way of dealing with children. Teachers who show such forgiveness towards the child, A.S. Makarenko called them “pedagogical beasts” who carry out the most stupid, most immoral kind of relationship.

Democratic style is flexible. Parents, motivating their actions and demands, listen to the opinion of children, respect their position, develop independence of judgment. As a result, children understand their parents better, grow up reasonably obedient, enterprising, with a developed sense of their own dignity. Children see in their parents a model of citizenship, hard work, honesty and the desire to make them what they are.

Thus, knowledge of typical relationships in families and styles of parenting helps the teacher to better, faster and more correctly understand which family he is dealing with. Each type of negative relationship has its own ways to overcome them.

A reasonable system of penalties is not only legal, but also necessary, A. Makarenko was convinced. It helps to shape a strong human character, instills a sense of responsibility, trains the will, human dignity, the ability to resist temptations and overcome them.

Education methods children in the family are the ways (methods) with the help of which the purposeful pedagogical influence of parents on the consciousness and behavior of children is carried out. They do not differ from the general methods of education discussed above, but have their own specifics:

The influence on the child is individual, based on specific actions and adapted to the personality;

The choice of methods depends on the pedagogical culture of the parents: understanding the purpose of education, parental role, ideas about values, style of relationships in the family, etc.

Therefore, the methods of family education bear a bright imprint of the personality of the parents and are inseparable from them. How many parents, so many varieties of methods. All parents use common methods family education: persuasion (explanation, suggestion, advice); personal example; encouragement (praise, gifts, an interesting prospect for children), punishment (deprivation of pleasure, rejection of friendship, corporal punishment). In some families, on the advice of teachers, they create and use educational situations.

Diverse funds solving educational problems in the family. Among these means are the word, folklore, parental authority, work, teaching, nature, domestic life, national customs, traditions, public opinion, the spiritual and moral climate of the family, the press, radio, television, daily routine, literature, museums and exhibitions, games and toys, demonstrations, physical education, sports, holidays, symbols, attributes, relics, etc. Selection and application Parenting methods are based on a number of general conditions:

1. Parents' knowledge of their children, their positive and negative qualities: what they read, what they are interested in, what assignments they carry out, what difficulties they experience, what kind of relationship with classmates and teachers, adults, small ones, what they value most in people, etc. Personal the experience of parents, their authority, the nature of relations in the family, the desire to educate by personal example also affect the choice of methods. This group of parents usually chooses visual methods.

2. If parents prefer joint activities, then practical methods usually prevail. Intensive communication during joint work, watching TV shows, hiking, walking gives good results: children are more frank, this helps parents understand them better. There is no joint activity - there is neither a reason nor an opportunity for communication.

3. The pedagogical culture of parents has a decisive influence on the choice of methods, means, forms of education. It has long been noticed that in the families of teachers, educated people, children are always better brought up. Consequently, teaching pedagogy, mastering the secrets of educational influence is not at all a luxury, but a practical necessity. “Pedagogical knowledge of parents is especially important at a time when father and mother are the only educators of their child ... At the age of 2 to 6 years, the mental development, spiritual life of children depends to a decisive extent on ... the elementary pedagogical culture of mother and father, which is expressed in a wise understanding of the most complex mental movements of a developing person,” wrote V.A. Sukhomlinsky.

A typical mistake in many families where children are pedagogically neglected is the desire of parents to re-educate them as quickly as possible, in one fell swoop. No less typical is the mistake when the only child of the parents seizes a privileged position in the family. Everything is allowed to him, his every desire is immediately fulfilled. Grandparents, and sometimes mothers and fathers, justify such an attitude towards the child by the fact that "they got a lot of difficulties and hardships, so at least the child will live for his own pleasure." And an egoist, a tyrant, a minion grows in a family. When this is noticed, it becomes obvious that the most stringent measures must be taken. But any alteration is a matter much more difficult than correct education from an early age, since in the process of sharp re-education and the adoption of strict measures, the nervous system is injured. It is in these cases that there is a real opportunity to make a neurasthenic out of a child.

Another mistake made by parents is strict, to the point of cruelty, power over children from an early age. In childhood, the child learns all kinds of punishment. For the slightest prank he is beaten, for thoughtlessness he is punished. Parents who try in every possible way to avoid classes with children are no longer making a mistake: what they do is called in other words. The approach is primitive: to brush aside, and sometimes buy off their children. Children are given complete freedom, which, of course, they still do not know how to use. Child neglect, it turns out, is not always the result of parents being busy. This is the lack of necessary supervision for them.

Summing up, remember that there are no special methods of family education. General methods are applied: persuasion (explanation, suggestion, advice); personal example; encouragement (praise, gifts, an interesting prospect for children), punishment (deprivation of pleasure, rejection of friendship, corporal punishment). In family education, methods acquire a personal orientation.

2.2 Analysis of the experience of working with children from different families in the practice of A.S. Makarenko

A.S. Makarenko in his "Lectures on Education" said that raising a child correctly and normally is much easier than re-educating. Proper upbringing from early childhood is not at all as difficult as it seems to many. According to its difficulty, this work is within the power of every person, every father and every mother. Every person can easily raise his child well, if only he really wants to, and besides, this is a pleasant, joyful, happy business.

Analysis of the pedagogical activity of A.S. Makarenko makes it clear to his descendants how to correctly apply the forms, methods and means of raising children in the family.

For example, in the situation described by A.S. Makarenko, one can see multiple repetitions in modern pedagogy.

Situation one.

K A.S. Makarenko came a group of women from the same house. There was drama in the house. The two families were friends, and both families had children. The boy Yuru (he was in the seventh grade) was suspected of taking something from his house without asking, some thing or money. Friends knew about this. These friends lost an expensive kitchen. Yura was a frequent visitor and his man in this family. There was no stranger in the house who could take the preparation, except for this boy. Suspicion fell on him. And these two families, very cultured people who are fully responsible for their actions, somehow suddenly, unexpectedly for themselves, were carried away by the investigation process. They had to establish at all costs whether Yura had stolen the preparation or not. They have been doing this for three months. True, they did not call the dog, they did not call for any outside help, but they checked, interrogated, sent and found some witnesses, carried on secret conversations and brought Yura to illness. Finally they began to demand:

Say we won't punish you.

Father beat his chest with his fist:

Have pity on me, I want to know if my son is a thief or not!

The boy was forgotten. The father became the main object, he had to be saved from suffering. Came to me:

I had a lot to do with thieves, and for me theft has long ceased to be the most terrible thing. I asked to bring the boy to me. I don't always see in my eyes whether he stole or not, but I told him:

You didn't steal anything. You did not take the cooking station, and do not allow yourself to ask yourself any more questions about the preparation.

And I spoke with my parents in particular:

Stop talking about it. There is no cooking station, it has disappeared, no matter who stole it. You are tormented by the question whether your son is a thief or not. You seem to be reading a detective novel, and you want to know how it ended, who is the thief. Drop this curiosity. It's about your child's life. And before the boy stole something, and now maybe he stole. He has this inclination, educate him. But forget this case and do not torture yourself and the boy. In some cases, it is just extremely important if you see that the child has stolen something, and if you can prove it and feel that you need to talk, talk. But if you have nothing but suspicion, when you are not sure that he stole, protect him from all extraneous suspicions. But be vigilant yourself and increase attention to your child.

Pedagogical behavior and tact of A.S. Makarenko gave parents the opportunity to understand the behavior, the meaning of the actions of both the child and their own.

Situation two.

It is extremely important if you can see that the child has stolen something, and if you can prove it and feel the need to talk, talk. But if you have nothing but suspicion, when you are not sure that he stole, protect him from all extraneous suspicions. But be vigilant yourself and increase attention to your child. One girl in the labor commune, taken by me from prostitutes, really stole. I see what I stole. I see that the guys are all sure of this, and she is embarrassed. I had the last word to say. I know she's so used to stealing, that it's so normal for her that if we tell her, shame on you, she won't be impressed. And I, in the council of commanders - and these are serious people - said:

Why did you stick to her? I'm convinced she didn't steal and you have no proof.

They screamed and screamed, but mine took over. They let her go. And what do you think? This girl was at first terribly agitated, looked at me seriously, with a frustrated look. She is also a stupid person. After all, the matter is clear - how did I believe so, and really believed her, how could I believe so? Did I play or am I so deeply convinced? And when I had to give responsible assignments, I gave her. This went on for a month. The girl experienced the pain of my trust. A month later she came to me and cried:

What thanks to you, how everyone accused me, you alone defended me. Everyone thought that I stole, and you alone thought that I did not steal.

I then told her:

It was you who stole it, exactly - you, I know it very well and knew it. Now you won't steal anymore. I won’t tell anyone, and you didn’t steal, we’ll “hush up” the conversation between us.

Of course, she didn't steal at all after that.

Such moves are not false moves, they come from a sense of proportion, and they should find application in the family. It is not always necessary to abuse the truth in a family. Children always need to tell the truth, in general this is the right law, but in some cases children have to tell lies. In cases where you know that he is a thief, but you are not sure, hide it. And in some cases, when you are convinced and there is evidence, play on your credibility. It's just a sense of proportion. Where you touch the child's personality, there you cannot express your feelings, your indignation, your thought without measure.

So, A.S. Makarenko argued, and this statement was proved by him in practice, that two people should take part in education - the educator and the educated person in equal measure, and one (the educator) is obliged to convey pedagogical ideas through the forms, means and methods of education, and the second (the educated person) must have a great desire to accept the ideas of education.

Conclusion

At the heart of the modern theory of family education, attention should be paid more to the values ​​of an active socio-cultural life, personal and national dignity, general cultural and professional competence, a culture of citizenship, responsibility to oneself, society and the state. At the same time, the cultural foundations of the theory of family education should be built taking into account the ideas of pluralism and variability of educational practice, the democratization of relations between the subjects of the educational process, the responsibility of each citizen and the state as a whole for the upbringing of children and youth.

The originality of A.S. Makarenko on pedagogy and education, the scale of his influence on pedagogical thought and practice are determined primarily by the fact that his work is organically inseparable from the values ​​and needs of the developing world in the field of culture, economics, socio-political life, the moral and psychological state of society and a person, a young generations.

Deeply understanding the social essence of pedagogy and education, A.S. Makarenko gave a brilliant example of pedagogical education, mass character and diverse forms of dissemination of scientific and pedagogical knowledge and experimental and practical achievements of education. Analysis of the theoretical works of A.S. Makarenko allows us to assert that he substantiated a number of peculiar indicators of the sociality of education, which are necessary even today.

Firstly, the outstanding teacher proposed to abandon the traditional views on education as a phenomenon that exists in the space of relations between the educator and the educated person. He speaks of a broad element of education, "which is carried out not only by educators, but also by our whole life - by each of you over each of you." Makarenko is sure that two people living together for at least a week are already raising one another. By this he argues his idea that education is an extremely broad phenomenon. It is difficult to understand it as a phenomenon only for children, especially in the Soviet Union, where it has become one of the broadest public affairs.

Secondly, criticizing pedologists, A.S. Makarenko sharply objected to the transformation of the upbringing of the younger generations into a toy of age-related biological, psychological and other sympathies. On the other hand, he did not accept the empty communist phraseology on this subject, which boiled down to calls to follow the “communist orientation of education”, talk about “political vigilance”, etc. Makarenko, following the logic of the political discourse of that time, believed that the goals of education should be socially determined, and, therefore, communist. However, expanding this common goal, Makarenko speaks of the need to create a method that, being general and unified, "at the same time enables each individual to develop his own characteristics, to preserve his individuality." Makarenko's opinion regarding the purpose of education is interpreted, most often, as ignoring the interests and needs of the child. From our point of view, a well-known teacher tried to take into account both the position of a person and the position of society in the goals, content, method of education, giving preference to the latter.

Thirdly, the social nature of education is revealed in the fact that it is collectivist. In this regard, Makarenko emphasized: our pupil, whoever he may be, can never act in life as the bearer of some personal perfection, only as a kind or honest person. He must always act primarily as a member of his team, as a member of society, responsible for the actions not only of his own, but also of his comrades. This, by today's standards, "old-fashioned" statement contains an idea that cannot be ignored even today: education is designed to form a person responsible to other people, capable of following public duty. At the same time, Makarenko's statements about the unconditional subordination of the individual to the collective are doubtful.

Fourthly, Makarenko's remark about the control of public opinion over education also deserves attention. It is it that tempers the character of the student, educates the will, instills socially useful skills of personal behavior. As a result, firmness, inflexibility of a hardened character is born in a child, a sense of civic honor, duty, and a sense of duty towards other people are brought up.

Fifth, according to Makarenko, an indicator of the sociality of education is the fact that education is carried out not only in a state institution - a school, but also in the main unit of society - the family. It is in the family, in his opinion, that the foundations of a person’s character are laid, the foundation of his upbringing is created. Family upbringing must find a measure between our great work, giving itself to society, and our happiness, what we take from society.

So, the theoretical provisions of A.S. Makarenko, concerning the social essence of education, its social nature have not lost their relevance in the current conditions. They make it possible to clarify the categorical apparatus of modern social pedagogy and, in our opinion, can have a beneficial effect on the process of accumulating reliable knowledge in this relatively new scientific discipline.

Practical implementation of the ideas of A.S. Makarenko, including ethical and pedagogical ones, is not a passed stage, but a task for the future. He is not a theorist of the past, but of the future: the implementation of his comprehensive educational and ethical program is connected with conditions that, to a large extent, have yet to be formed. A.S. Makarenko refers to teachers who are ahead of their time, because the fundamental idea of ​​his ethical concept is social responsibility, based on the reciprocity of the individual and the team. His system of education is above ethical rationalism in its usual sense. It can be realized only under the conditions of this type of social organization, where the school will be an organic part of life practice, and not its isolated form.

Views of A.S. Makarenko - the ethics of pedagogy of today and the future, since the norms of the "new humanity", which he dreamed of, compressing reliable, universally recognized humanistic values, are still in the process of formation. Nowadays, we are often witnessing the loss of moral endurance, the weakening of moral foundations, manifestations of a kind of moral decay. To overcome them, to gain faith in the meaning of human life, it is necessary to mobilize all the creative energy and willpower of the individual. A person, as A.S. Makarenko suggested, should take part in the development of civilization at all its main levels (personal life - economy - social life - culture), should feel personally responsible for everything that is dear to him, what is important to him . The man of today and the future is a man of high social responsibility, comprehensively developed, free, whose arsenal of values ​​will include the ethics of A.S. Makarenko.

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