Fitness and healthy lifestyle 

How to regain the love and trust of your husband. The most common causes of loss of trust in the family. Build on an emotional resource from the past

Revealing the fact of infidelity - from text messages, phone calls or Internet correspondence to long-term extramarital affairs - can be extremely damaging to your relationship. Deception and lies on the part of one partner naturally lead to distrust and suspicion in the other. However, a couple can "revive" lost trust. The pace and level of recovery greatly depend on the further actions of the traitor. However, many do not understand what their partners have to go through, and have no idea how to regain their former trust. Here are the steps to be taken by people who have cheated but seriously want to save their relationship.

Steps

  1. Stop lying and try to be honest. Once you've betrayed your partner's trust, you will only add fuel to the fire by continuing to lie, wriggle, hide or deny. Beginning to tell the truth is the only way to keep the relationship going.

    • Begin to see yourself as the person to whom your partner should and maybe trust. Thinking like this is the first step towards your goal. Then let him know that you "want" to regain his trust.
    • Volunteer the whole story. A sincere confession is an essential step towards rebuilding trust.
    • Don't miss or hide the truth. This will not protect your partner. In fact, it is impossible to talk about your guilt or solve these problems without fully disclosing all the facts. Even if the truth may hurt your partner in the beginning, your absolute honesty is essential for long-term reconciliation.
    • Always tell the truth. New lies will continually destroy all efforts to rebuild the relationship. Your partner may ask additional questions to confirm their guesses. He / she can learn to recognize when you are lying by your body language, speech patterns and other indicators. Finally, by continuing to tell lies, you yourself will be hindering the rekindling of your relationship.

  2. Clearly and clearly make it clear to the person with whom you cheated, that everything is over between you. This person is part of the problem, perhaps even unconsciously. Therefore, its role cannot be ignored. If you don't initiate a break in the relationship, it may never end.

    • Be bold. Admitting guilt can be a very difficult step - especially if your spouse didn't know you were cheating - but in the future, it is the fact that you admit your mistakes that will help your partner trust you again.
    • While you must take into account the feelings of others, not wanting to hurt them should not be your excuse for not telling them about cheating. On the contrary, remember that your partner's feelings should be more important to you than your own.
    • It may also be worth asking to apologize to the person with whom you cheated (if he / she initially knew it was cheating). This is especially important if this person will continue to be a part of your life.
    • If you've cheated with a co-worker, then your next daily meeting can be a real obstacle to rebuilding your partner's trust. Prioritize correctly and do what you have to do.
    • Show your partner the message about the end of the relationship on the side, or let her / him listen to how you talk about it to your lover / mistress. Until your partner hears you end the relationship (or at least admit to cheating), he won't believe you. In addition, it will show your legitimate half that he / she is more important to you than the one with whom you cheated. The importance of such an act should not be underestimated.

  3. Take responsibility for your mistakes. Cheating is a 100% deliberate choice. Admit your mistake and admit it to your partner - voluntarily, not under pressure or threats.

    • Even if your partner has made many mistakes himself, don't blame him or her for cheating. Instead of starting to change too, you could solve the problem in a different, more honest way. When discussing your partner's mistakes, try to avoid hints that your lies or cheating were their consequence. This is not true.
    • Don't expect sympathy. Most likely, your partner is also unhappy and upset in the relationship, but he / she wants to discuss everything and find a solution instead of lying and cheating on you.
    • Refrain from making false, insincere excuses, such as that you were seduced, confused, did not realize what you were doing, did not intend to do it, but simply fell under the bad influence or were a victim of circumstances. You were not forced to do anything, it was your conscious choice, and your partner knows about it.
    • Don't defend yourself. Trying to justify arguments will only aggravate the situation and prevent you from solving the problem. This is not the case when "offense is the best defense." Now it is better to demonstrate regret, remorse, sensitivity, compassion, be honest and emotionally open.

  4. Answer questions. It is very difficult for the person who has been betrayed to know that there is someone else who knows more about your marriage than he or she.

    • Your partner will want to know the details and will ask questions that you may not want to answer. Your partner will remember some of your words and stories and ask what was true and what was not.
    • He / she will finally find out the truth about all those moments when you lied, and he felt it, and if you have been convincing him all this time that “he is making everything up”, it will be another trauma for them. Asking many questions, he wants to fill in the gaps, to compensate for what he was in the dark for so long.
    • Remember that all questions about another woman / another man (“Is she beautiful / sexy / smart?”) Is actually the result of the insecurity caused by your cheating. Therefore, while lying about the reasons for your sympathy for the person with whom you cheated is not worth it, use these moments to emphasize what you love your partner for.

  5. Be patient and wait for your partner's trust to return. Suspicion and distrust are the natural reactions of someone who has been deceived. All evidence points to the fact that you should not be trusted. Trust can be restored, but it is not a quick process. Even for very easygoing people.

    • Confess, ask for forgiveness, and vow to be honest in the future. But don't expect it to be enough to keep things the same.
    • Get ready for your partner's emotions to be like a roller coaster. Mood swings, sleep disturbances and lack of appetite, poor health, sudden tears, or withdrawal are normal. Today everything can be normal, but tomorrow - again complete emptiness. Be patient.
    • Do not try to set a time frame for your partner to finally forgive you, and do not ask him / her to tell you how much time has to pass. Instead, do whatever you can to make it happen.
    • Your relationship does not necessarily reflect how things will develop between you from now on. Over time, your partner's suspicion and distrust can fade.

  6. Be there. Your partner needs it. At the very least, you need to be emotionally open. But even your very presence is important, it will convince your partner that you value your relationship.

    • Be prepared to listen, even though you are the one who hurt you. Otherwise, your spouse will end up without the support of the person he has always relied on - without you.
    • Be prepared to answer questions in a way that does not overwhelm your partner with a sense of hopelessness. Better you yourself "fill in all the blanks" than your partner think of something himself.
    • Be patient. While answering questions and suspicions can be difficult, it is best to do so to avoid future explosions.
    • Understand that for a while, when you are not around, your partner will again suspect you of cheating. Do not take such distrust as paranoia - it is better to “fight” it with your frankness.
    • If you cannot be physically close at all times, then make sure that your partner can call you at any time. It may not be necessary, but the very understanding of where you are and that you are available on the phone will help your partner feel more comfortable with your absence.
    • Provisionally ask your partner what he / she eats, how he sleeps, is everything okay, etc. It may seem like a trivial thing, but right now your partner is very vulnerable, and may not be able to perform the simplest actions. Basically, it is your responsibility to try to anticipate and meet his / her needs.
    • Always be nearby, keeping some distance if your partner needs to be alone for a while.
    • If your partner is trying to end the relationship, make it clear to him / her that you do not want this, offer to do something to confirm your words. While you should respect the decision to break up, if you don't show that you don't want to lose it, he'll think you don't care. This message should be clear and clear, especially after cheating. .

  7. Make your partner feel # 1 again. By cheating, you were giving the time and attention that was meant for your partner to someone else. As a result, your partner began to feel that you did not value him / her, that they were missing something that you were looking for in another person. It can also make your partner think that others are seeing your indifference. You can overcome these feelings and convince your partner that you won't betray anymore.

    • Ask yourself if you really underestimate your partner. Perhaps what you were looking for outside of your relationship with your partner was originally in them - you simply could not or did not want to consider it.
    • Write down a list of the things that make your partner special to you. Look for it in your mind and heart. Tell your partner that you value them and demonstrate that with your actions. Compliments can help repair a damaged ego and a broken heart. Better yet, be clear about how important your partner is to you and back it up with your actions.
    • Show that you love him. Your previous actions may have made him doubt it. Your steps in this direction are especially important immediately after the disclosure of the fact of treason.
    • Demonstrate and tell other people how much you value your partner. Not only will this help your partner believe in your feelings, but it will also help him or her overcome feelings of humiliation. Perhaps you, too, will begin to feel better.

  8. Be open. The more openness you show, the less likely your partner will be tempted to check what you are doing.

    • When you are alone, your partner may doubt that you are where you said you would be. You can reduce the tension between you by letting them check where you are and what you are doing by texting or calling.
    • Invite your spouse to go with you where you usually go alone (to the gym, to get-togethers with friends, etc.). Even if he or she doesn't take up the invitation, your step will demonstrate that you have nothing to hide.
    • Remember that your phone, email, voice messages, and even things like bills can be a source of information about your lies and secrets for your partner. If you voluntarily open up access to all of this information, then your partner will sooner trust you again. (If you can't do this, a legitimate question may arise about what you are hiding.) While your partner may not want to verify this information, the fact that you have discovered these sources can be a huge step in restoring trust in you.
    • Some of the steps mentioned may seem like a violation of personal boundaries. But remember that a serious relationship implies some blurring of these "boundaries." Plus, insisting that you have the right to "personal secrets" will only reinforce the partner's distrust that was born of your betrayal.
    • Don't try to date someone in secret from your partner. It will hurt him or her to learn that someone else is so important to you, and even worse, it will convince you that you cannot be trusted.

  9. Don't put salt on your wounds.

    • Remember, just because your partner doesn't mention cheating out loud doesn't mean that he or she isn't thinking about it.
    • Try to avoid additional stress in the relationship, especially the first time after it becomes known about your cheating.
    • Don't put your friends before your relationship. Try to spend less time with friends or coworkers of the opposite sex, talking about someone's attractiveness, or making new acquaintances for the first time. This can make the situation worse.
    • Be more wary of fights than usual. Remember, this is not the time to argue about certain topics, especially when it comes to personal space or a sense of ownership. You shook their faith in the inviolability of your relationship, and only your openness and understanding will help bring it back, not hostility and arguments.
    • Don't give your partner a reason to think that if you've cheated, you can do it again.

  10. Take this opportunity to brush up on your relationship.

    • Be grateful. Your spouse has decided to stay with you after your betrayal. It doesn't matter how much he or she is angry, trifling on trifles or behaving unpredictably - by his decision to stay, he has already demonstrated the strength of his love and, in a way, the strength of his character. Respect your partner and be grateful for this decision.
    • Your partner may look at you as if you were a stranger. You yourself may not recognize yourself and be surprised at your decisions and actions that you are not proud of, how confident you were that your deception would not be revealed, and blind determination to keep everything secret. Make a decision to continue living like the person you want to be.
    • You may find it easier to treat this stage as the beginning of a new relationship. For example, find new places or hobbies to share. For some couples, renewing their marriage vows can be a symbolic "reset" of the relationship. This approach will help you and your partner look differently at cheating (and other things); many married couples say their relationship is happier and more fulfilling than before.
    • Make sure everyone around you (family, friends, coworkers, children, etc.) knows that your partner is more important to you than anything else. Always speak highly of this person, take good care of his or her reputation when speaking to others, and do so sincerely.
    • Tell him you love him. This confession must be sincere, come from the very heart. Be sure to look the other person in the eye when uttering this phrase. If you say, "I love you VERY MUCH!" - it will be even better. Probably, your spouse will not respond in kind to you, but do not forget - he is trying to "heal his wounds." Saying that he loves you too can make him feel vulnerable. He feels betrayed and needs a defense mechanism. YOU changed it. And you must "destroy the barriers" that have arisen between you - no matter how much effort and time it takes.
    • Appreciate the chance to regain your partner's love and trust - both initially and over the next few years. By remembering what happened, you will not only appreciate your relationship more, but you will also not stumble again.
    • Never change again. The chances of getting a third chance are much less than a second.
    • Be careful in discussing issues that at first glance have nothing to do with your betrayal - they may turn out to be her projections. Keep in mind that when you argue about who was the last one to wash the dishes, you may actually be arguing indirectly about your romance, although this should be discussed in one-to-one conversation (for example, how much time you spent in a relationship outside of marriage). Sometimes it is difficult to predict which words or actions will again remind your partner of your cheating. In fact, he or she may not even realize that he is transferring this problem into ordinary arguments about some routine things. Make it a rule to classify any dispute in which your partner reacts too aggressively to some insignificant things, to this category. If this happens, it will be unwise to make concessions all the time - this can develop a submissive model of behavior in you, which you will regret in the future. Be that as it may, remember that your partner is in an "unpredictable and hectic emotional state" and try to show the maximum tolerance and understanding you can.
    • Remember, the days and weeks right after your partner finds out about your cheating are especially important. How quickly the relationship is restored will depend on all your actions at this time. If your spouse feels your love, support, respect while discussing his or her feelings during this difficult period, the chances of restoring the relationship will increase significantly. Conversely, if your partner feels abandoned, lonely, misunderstood, then it will be much more difficult for you to regain lost trust.
    • Remember your vows and why you fell in love / got married.
    • Start caring for your loved one again. When you had an affair on the side, you probably found time to do something nice for another woman or man. Now start giving flowers, dedicating songs, writing notes, giving small gifts for no reason to your wife / husband to show your love. Your partner wonders why you were so romantic and open in other relationships when you weren't in your marriage. If you continue to neglect these important little things, they will continue to consider themselves unworthy of the attention that the other person received from you. Your spouse will not believe that you love him more than the person for whom you did all these romantic acts unless you start doing the same for him. Most likely, he will not ask you about it, because he wants to be sure that your impulses are sincere, that you really think he is worthy of the extra effort. If he has to tell or hint to you about such actions, then he will never believe in the sincerity of your intentions. You will please him because you were told, and not because you wanted to. Doing it on your own for someone else will make your partner even more painful.
    • If your spouse asks you to do something (justified) to help them overcome resentment, forcing them to ask twice or delaying the request will make it clear that you have no remorse and that you don't care about their needs.
    • A good psychologist or spiritual mentor can help you solve a problem and rekindle your relationship.

Hello dear friends!

A trusting relationship in the family is the basis of a strong tandem! Without it, it is impossible to build neither family ties nor friendships. When suspicions arise between partners, life turns into a nightmare and a systematic showdown.

Attempting to glue a cup after it has broken is not always successful. It is very difficult to forgive the oversight of a loved one and instantly forget about the pain caused. This applies not only to betrayal, lies or unjustified expectations.

Trust is a reciprocal process that occurs through communication. Sometimes it is issued on credit, but often it loses the battle, since the boundaries of responsibilities were not specified. This is how discontent, nervousness and "spy games" are born.

Is it possible to regain trust in a relationship and expect a happy life? Or is it an invented myth that every loving person wants to believe in? About this and not only in today's article!

The stage of initiation of trusting feelings

The transformation process from an ordinary acquaintance to the status of a friend or life partner is a very long one. A person, at the first acquaintance, cannot afford to experience a trusting relationship with someone else's personality.

Firstly, it is a defense mechanism, and secondly, it is a neat way of interacting with the environment and any novelty. What is the difference between a loved one and a simple acquaintance? How does psychology work?

Relationships between people are connected not only by emotions, but also by trust! Add love, devotion or affection - you get a complete union. In order for an atmosphere of trust to appear, a person needs to pass small tests and "prove" their right to deep, emotional contact.

The person looks closely, listens, asks questions and gets acquainted with the list of values. After that, words are tested for strength by means of an action. And only then, real sympathy arises, and it develops into strong relationships that take a special place in life. But what to do when the necessary trust was not there or was violated?

The main reasons for distrust

People who live with suspicion of their boyfriend, girlfriend, wife or husband are simply lying to themselves! When trust is lost through the fault of one of the parties, every attempt should be made to fix everything. If the guilty party does not have such a desire, you can safely delete the person from the list of close guests in the house. What do anti-trust provocateurs look like?

  • Cheating is the most common reason for breaking up a relationship! It can be physical upon contact and emotional. At the same time, it is rather difficult to understand which is worse. But after the betrayal, it is also not easy to cross the line of mistrust, because the partner's feelings and Ego were hurt;
  • lying - at first glance, it is not such an insidious or terrible phenomenon as treason. On average, a person lies 50 times or more during the day! But sometimes this addiction goes beyond all the permissible limits of what is permissible and takes on a shade of pathology. Living or communicating as a liar is dangerous and uncomfortable. Therefore, before starting up the next portion of "untruth", think about it, will it strengthen trust between you or bury you ?;
  • betrayal / broken promises are the most painful acts that occur in friendships and family relationships. You trusted the man, but you got a stake in the back! Resentment, anger and aggression towards the traitor are secured and not always an act can be justified in the future, making attempts to regain trust. Betrayal is a deliberate step and is not taken at the call of emotions, as is the case with betrayal;
  • unjustified expectations are a common area for conflict in a couple. With a girl and a guy, at the moment of the inception of a relationship, there is a non-verbal fixation of agreements and expectations. Trust suffers in a situation where commitments have not been specifically articulated! As a result, she considers an incident where he invited her friend to a friendly dance as a fact of treason.

Barriers to Returning Trust

  • The relationship was already in a critical state, and betrayal, betrayal or lies served as a banal catalyst;
  • "Inappropriate" model of behavior of the "guilty" for the situation;
  • refusal or inability to understand and forgive a person;
  • recurrences of crime minimize the chances of restoring trust between people;
  • refusal to communicate and complete closeness of opponents;
  • excessive emotionality;
  • revenge, the desire to hurt in spite of;
  • ignoring what happened;
  • accumulation of anger and negativity.

How do you regain trust?

Taking responsibility for what happened

If you made a mistake and caused pain - admit your guilt! Take responsibility for what you did and sincerely ask for forgiveness. Shifting the blame for stupidity on other people's shoulders will not lead to good.

Even if you cheated on your husband because he does not suit you in intimate matters, even if you lied to your wife because you were sure that she would enter your position - you committed the betrayal!

Be aware that the affected person will show a full spectrum of resentment. Let him speak up and expose his emotions. At this moment, cleansing occurs, leading to an improvement in the condition.



Don't make excuses

A long story about the cause-and-effect thread of events will not simplify the situation with the husband in case of distrust. Attempts to find the culprit, hysteria, recriminations, or a list of various excuses will only aggravate the situation. Be honest, bypassing unimportant details. Leave the gist and honest admission of the mistake.

The only thing you need to do next is to express sincere remorse for what you have done! Emotional openness plays an important role in this case. If there is no way to talk, use additional methods to convey the words of apology:

  • write a letter (electronic, paper);
  • leave a message on the answering machine;
  • tell about your feelings with flowers, a gift;
  • use an action - do something important for a partner, something he has long dreamed of;
  • apologize publicly, record an apology video.

Forgive yourself

Living in the status of a "traitor" is self-flagellation, which will lead to health problems. We are all human and no one is immune from stupidity! Repentance is a critical part of regaining trust in a relationship. But you have to forgive yourself even if you can't build bonds with your wife or spouse.

Accept defeat and move on without stepping on the same rake more than once,
a systematic return to oversight will only lead to self-destruction Do whatever you can to explain your motivation, accept responsibility, apologize, and move on with forgiving!

That's the point!

Subscribe to updates, and in the comments share your opinion, is it necessary to restore trust and how is it best to do?

It will not be easy to restore the girl's trust after lying. If you lied about another girl, cheating, or anything else that really hurt her feelings, it will be very difficult for you to regain her trust - very difficult, but possible. If you are honest, patient, and will not lie in the future, then it is possible that slowly you will be able to regain her trust and love. How to do it? Follow these steps.

Steps

Talk to her

  1. Sorry. If you want to regain her trust, the first thing you need to do is sincerely ask for forgiveness for your lies and her hurt. If you cheated on her, cheated on a weekend with friends, or hid something about yourself - she will be hurt, she will get confused, for her, you will be a different person whom she does not know. Let her know that you are aware of how much you have complicated her life, and that you are very sorry about what happened.

    • Don't say “I'm sorry” because “that's how it should be” - say it because you think so. If you are not sincere, she will see it.
    • When you ask for forgiveness, look into her eyes, speak slowly, and bend over to her so that she can feel your attention.
    • You don't have to ask for forgiveness a hundred times - the main quality, not quantity.
    • Make it clear that you are aware of all the pain and suffering that you have caused her. If she thinks that you are not aware of this, she will not want to listen to you.
    • Make it clear that you too are hurt by your mistake, although in general, do not focus on yourself.

  2. Be sincere about what you did. You don't need to go into details about what happened if you know it will hurt her more; be sincere about the reasons for your lies. Maybe you wanted to shield her, maybe you knew the truth would hurt her, or maybe you were ashamed of the truth and wanted to hide it. Whatever your reason, let her understand why you did this - this will show that you accept responsibility for your act, and that you realized the seriousness of what happened, for the future.

    • By telling the truth about the reasons for your lies, she will feel that you will be honest in the future.
    • Knowing your motives, she can put herself in your shoes.
    • Know when it's best not to tell the truth. If you wanted to spend time with another girl, out of boredom or desire, then it's better not to mention it.

  3. Promise it won't happen again - and be sincere. First, make sure it doesn't happen again. If you doubt your future actions and think that you can make the same mistake, then do not torture the girl and work on yourself before entering into another relationship. If you are confident that you can be trusted, promise her that this story will not happen again.

    • Be sincere. Do not promise to nothing.
    • Let her know that your actions will be stronger than your words, and from now on, your actions will live up to your promises.

  4. Promise you will change. Tell her that you will work on yourself to become a better, more collected person who will not lie to her. Be open, tell her that the process will take some time, and convince her that you will do your best to change for her. If you have a plan for how to change for the better, maybe a magazine, a psychiatrist, and anything that can help you become a more open and honest person - tell her about it, you will sound more truthful.

    • Once again, let her know that you can't change overnight, but you're willing to do whatever you can to get her trust back.

    Returning her trust

    1. Give her time and space. After you tell her what you wanted to say, you must give her time and space. The worst thing you can do is annoy her with your presence all the time - don't "choke" her with your persistence. Instead, let her know you won't bother her and wait for her to call when she's ready. This does not mean that you need to ignore her, it means that you need to step aside and give her time to think.

      • You can write a message or call once every few days, but only if she wants to talk to you.
      • If you want to be nice, you can send her flowers, but don't overdo it. If she is angry, then she may not be ready for your gifts yet.
      • You can make a small gesture, such as writing a letter to her, letting her know what you think of her.
      • If you meet, be friendly, but don't talk to her for too long, she may get the impression that you were waiting for her.

    2. Be patient. Time for a girl will be as important as space. You need to be patient and wait until she takes the first step instead of pretending like nothing happened or pushing. To do this, you need patience, even if you spend a lot of time together, do not expect her to forgive you right away. Do not ask about her decision every two seconds, do not try to arrange romantic meetings - she herself must take the first step.

      • Even if you're spending time together, don't expect things to be the same. Be careful with touches, compliments, and in general during your meetings.
      • Don't hang your nose. It's okay that you want to be forgiven as quickly as possible, but unfortunately this is not how the world works.
      • Be yourself. You don't need to talk about this incident all the time. Just be careful, but at the same time, behave naturally and wait for her trust to return.

    3. Be reliable. If you want your girlfriend to trust you, be a reliable person, even if you weren't in the past. This means that you always have to be ready to be near her, to help, keep your word, come on dates - or even a little earlier.

      • Try to be helpful and support her. Let her see that you will always be there. Even if you haven't attended her basketball games before, go and show that you care about her life.
      • Let her open up to you, talk about her problems. This will mean the return of trust.
      • Be there, but don't run after her - be yourself and help her at the same time. You don't want her to think of you as the guy running after her, that won't do you any good.

    4. Be available. If you want to regain the girl's trust, you have to be available to her. You don't have to let her know every detail of your day, but she must have an idea of ​​where you are at the present time, otherwise she will worry again. If she calls or texts you, you should call her back as soon as possible. If you make her wait for hours or days, she will begin to doubt that you can change.

      • You, as if not on purpose, can say what you will do during her absence. If you are going to a soccer game with your friends, buy her a toy with the logo of your favorite club. If you are going to your uncle's house on the coast, take a picture and send it to her, saying "I wish you were here too."
      • Don't be weird. If you are spending time together and need to leave, give her reasons for leaving.
      • This does not mean that you need to have a GPS transmitter in your car - it means that it needs to have a general idea of ​​what you are doing so that it doesn’t worry.
      • Even if you are absent for several days, do not forget to contact her. Call or text to tell me how much you miss you.

    5. Continue to be sincere. As the number of your meetings increases, keep being honest. Talk to her if you are sad, confused, or in pain, and let her know if you are “choking” and unable to continue. She will want to know about your feelings in order to understand what is going on in your head. If you lie to her again, everything will be over between you.

      • Be calm and tell her what's on your mind. Slowly, trust will begin to return to you. You don't have to say "everything" on your mind, but try to be open to her.

    Keep her trust

    1. Make her feel special. Her trust may be returning, but how can it be maintained? She needs to feel special, that she means a lot to you, and that you won't lie to her in the future. Act like a gentleman, ask for romantic dates, compliment her looks and personality, and show interest in her hobbies and accomplishments.

      • If she looks pretty, don't be afraid to tell her.
      • Send flowers or a love poem if you so desire.
      • Ask her opinion, maybe it will be your new hairstyle or some other event.
      • Take an interest in her life. Ask about her family, her studies, or even be interested in her childhood.

    2. Open up to her. If you want to maintain her trust, then learn to open up to her. Share things about yourself that you've never told anyone - or anyone at all - she'll see that you truly trust and care. If you share personal information, she will understand that you trust her opinion and want to be completely honest.

      • You don't have to talk about every detail that makes you feel uncomfortable. Let her see that you trust her in personal matters, and perhaps she will reciprocate.
      • If you try to make her get to know you better, she will appreciate it and see your sincerity.

    3. Be honest with yourself. If you really want to keep the girl's trust, act naturally. You may have changed a few things in your life to get her trust back, but don't completely change for her. If you feel humiliated, suck up, or wasting all your energy to get it back, you may be trying to be someone else, and in the future, it will make you unhappy.

      • Ask yourself if you are comfortable with being who you are now, and if the girl trusts you and not the new person you are trying to become.

    4. Know when it's too late. Unfortunately, there is a possibility that you will not be able to regain her trust. If weeks or even months have passed and you do not feel stable, that you are not trusted, for example, she constantly checks you, or you constantly apologize for what happened, it may be too late to change something. You might be better off ending this relationship and not trying to rebuild what you can't get back.

      • If you feel like you've done your best and the girl doesn't trust you anyway, you might be better off breaking up.
      • If all else fails, think about other relationships after learning from your mistakes.
      • Once you know it's over, don't drag it out, it can only hurt you more.

From wearing is built on trust - everyone knows about it, but no one pays due attention to these words. How often have people been mistaken, thinking that since they know, then they have already saved themselves from misfortune. But the truth of life is this: to know a little, you still need to use it and always remember. So many people know what trust is and why it is needed, but they forget about the fact that it needs to be constantly maintained in a relationship.

It's easy to lose confidence... It requires a lot of attention and painstaking work, because completely trusting or inspiring the trust of a loved one is the basis of a serious and happy relationship. Otherwise, if trust is broken, then we can assume that the relationship is going to the final end.

Reasons for Loss of Trust

What can cause the loss of trust:

  • betrayal, jealousy, initial distrust;
  • inconsistency of a person's words with his actions;
  • deception in any form of its manifestation;
  • mismatch of desires and expectations of real life;
  • the unrealizability of the goals that were promised to the partner.

And much more that can lead to adverse consequences. Almost every couple or family faced similar situations that put trust in question. However, everyone came out of it in different ways. Someone managed to forgive and take the relationship to a new level, but for someone it was the beginning of the end.

How to restore trust in a relationship?

Another truth that everyone knows, but they forget - « It is easy to lose trust, but difficult to return! » And indeed it is. After all, trusting again a person who has already managed to lose him once on his own initiative or hindsight suggests that he can do the same again as soon as he relaxes and a good moment happens. The process of regaining trust is very difficult and lengthy, and there are very few books on this topic. After all, people are accustomed to quick results, which means that it is easier for them to read a book or article like “How to get a man's attention” than “How to restore trust in a relationship?”, Which takes too long and is painstaking work.

To begin the process of returning trust, an analysis of the situation should be carried out:

  • Why do you want to regain trust? Do you really want to be close to your significant other?
  • Are you ready to earn trust by long and hard work?
  • By what act did you lose the trust of your loved one?
  • When did your partner trust you?
  • You should get rid of jealousy, which so strongly and often unreasonably undermines trust.
  • Define a clear notion of trust that you will return.

Now go about your reeducation

  • If you have been caught in a lie, then you will have to become honest and open to your loved one. Tell the whole truth about the situation that made you lie. Explain why you acted this way, what thoughts were guided by, admit your guilt. And henceforth speak only the truth, no matter how bitter it may be. A truly loving person will understand and appreciate your sincerity, and again, although not immediately, will begin to trust.
  • If jealousy is the cause of loss of trust, reconsider your behavior. Try not to give reasons for jealousy, do not flirt with others in front of your partner, limit communication with the person who caused such doubts in your half. Talk about the events of the day, about upcoming plans so that your partner knows where and with whom you are. Constantly talk about your feelings, confess your love, no matter how far from each other you are, so that the thought of infidelity does not arise.
  • If you have betrayed a loved one , but realized your mistake and want to return the old relationship by all means, then you should be aware that you will have to work hard. First, you need to admit your mistake and get the forgiveness of your other half. Secondly, it is necessary to change the attitude towards your loved one so that he understands the seriousness of your intentions and feels your remorse for what you have done. It is necessary to take the relationship to a new level.
  • If you do not understand the reason for the loss of trust, put yourself in the shoes of a partner - perhaps a lot of things will immediately become clear to you. And henceforth, thinking to commit any act, think about how the partner will feel, whether he will like it, whether it will cause at least a bit of mistrust.
  • Try to return to the situation as rarely as possible, which served as a loss of trust... Get forgiven and no longer remember or talk about what you did. Make sure that your loved one puts your offense out of his head and does not want to make you feel guilty. Remember that everyone makes mistakes, the main thing is to be able to correct them correctly and in time.

You must remember that if you break another person’s trust again, you will most likely never get it back. Then take actions that prove that you can be trusted. The psychology of men and women is simple. If you need to earn the trust of your partner, then you just need to ask for forgiveness from him, and then show him your loyalty.