How many wives cheat on their husbands. Cheating just for your own satisfaction. My wife has a lover, what to do

21.05.2019

Registering their relationship, the happy bride and groom swear to each other in eternal love and fidelity. Probably, in an ideal world, all spouses would live a long and happy life without cheating and betrayal, but in reality, many have to put up with the fact that a husband or wife goes “to the left”.

Male infidelity is no longer considered something unusual, society often justifies them, although, of course, few will be able to live with such a husband. Women's betrayal, we have long been perceived as something out of the ordinary.

However, times are changing, and the number of women who have cheated on their husbands is increasing. According to the statistics of family psychologists, about half of all women cheat on their husbands, while according to official statistics, only about 25% of the representatives of the beautiful half of humanity admit to being unfaithful to their spouses. Why do wives cheat?

Psychology and nature of female infidelity

Despite the fact that both husbands and wives cheat, the reasons that push them to this reckless act are completely different. Let's analyze and figure out how male infidelity differs from female infidelity.

Psychology of infidelity on the part of a woman

Why do men cheat? Psychologists, especially those who support the teachings of Z. Freud, believe that the strong half of humanity cannot exist without adultery, as they obey the call of nature and try to impregnate as many individuals of the opposite sex as possible.

Women don't have that need. For her, the main thing is to choose the best father for her child in order to give birth to healthy offspring. Therefore, a girl rarely seeks to increase the number of men, but it is important for her that her chosen one be the best.

This is the crux of the problem. A girl can fall in love, and her chosen one seems to her the embodiment of masculinity. She invents a hero for herself, in which all the best qualities of a man are embodied: strength, activity, reliability, passion, and so on. But then she realizes she was wrong.

There are no ideal people. However, she strives to find one, and it does not matter that others consider her husband the best. It is not easy to please a woman. If the family does not have enough money, she dreams of a wealthy person. The one who bathes in luxury complains that her husband pays little attention to her.

And so it always is: the one who is close seems boring and not what he should be, and the one who is not with her is the best. After some time, she finds herself in the same bed with him. Most likely, a new disappointment awaits her, but for some time she believes that she has met the love of her life.

But there may be other reasons for change. We'll talk about this later.

The main differences between male and female infidelity

We figured out how male infidelity differs from female infidelity, but in order to summarize, we will write down the main differences point by point:

Love. To cheat on a wife, a husband does not have to fall in love with a new partner. Women only cheat on men if they have feelings for their lover. There must be at least sympathy.
Partner choice. A man is ready to seduce any girl if she seems attractive to him. The girls will look closely at the partner. First, they must make sure that it really suits them.
Development of a relationship. If a husband finds a mistress, he does not think about divorce. In the case of a wife's infidelity, everything is much more serious. He believes that someday he will be together with his lover, and can easily leave his family.

The most common causes of female infidelity

We figured out what is the nature of female infidelity, its psychology. However, many girls do not live, obeying only instincts. Nevertheless, a person knows how to control his behavior, especially if he received the right upbringing.

Why does a woman go for treason? Why is she ready to forget her moral principles and then suffer from remorse?

Psychologists identify many reasons that can push for treason:

Revenge. The husband cheated, and the wife decided to take revenge on him in a similar way. Or she is already tired of arguing with her husband, she does not like how he behaves with her, so she decided on such revenge.
Disappointment. The girl is used to the fact that her chosen one paid her a lot of attention. He tried to win her over, so he was caring, gentle, and after he achieved what he wanted, he stopped noticing her.
Incompatibility in bed. Spouses may have different temperaments. If the wife is passionate, loving, and her husband does not need frequent sex, she may think about going “to the left”.
Want to be desired. Every girl would like to remain the most beloved and desired. If she is not appreciated in marriage, she will find someone who will admire her.
Craving for new sensations. Often, living together destroys feelings. The wife managed to study her husband, she knows all his habits. And she wants something new in life, something that will make her days unforgettable. She needs new emotions, and in marriage she cannot get them.

Hasty marriage. The girl got married early. And now she needs to cook for her husband, take care of the household, children, and her friends at this time run on dates. And she also wants the same carefree life.
The desire to get the "forbidden fruit". The girl could have her own moral principles, but a person changes, reconsiders his views on life. And she can already afford cheating, as this is the taboo that she would like to break.
She wants to be modern. If all her friends, acquaintances run "to the left", she reads articles, watches programs that do not condemn such behavior, the wife is cheating on her husband, because she does not want to be a "black sheep" among her entourage.

We have listed some of the reasons for female infidelity, but this, of course, is not all. There are a lot of them. And each family has its own story, each girl has her own motives, it would be difficult to sort it all out, since it is impossible to subordinate feelings to some kind of strict logic.

How to prevent adultery on the part of a woman?

If a woman finds herself another man, it will be difficult to correct the situation. She will not want to stay with her husband if her relationship has become serious on her side. And not every man is able to accept a wife who has been in the arms of another.

Therefore, you should not go to extremes, it is better to work on relationships in marriage, to prevent betrayal, since an attempt to return to your old life may be unsuccessful. These tips are simple, they may seem banal to some, but it’s not in vain that they say that everything ingenious is simple.

Don't forget to make time for your wife. Yes, after work I want to spend time at the computer or TV. You can have a thousand things to do and hobbies, but put aside some of them and spend time with your spouse.
Become the closest person to her. If a spouse can talk with you about everything that worries her, share her experiences, feelings, she will not have a desire to look for someone on the side. Here, respect for a woman, for her interests, is also important, otherwise she will find someone else who will understand her or pretend that she understands.
Let off steam. This advice may seem strange, since for many it is a family without quarrels and scandals that seems ideal. But psychologists warn that then there is a high probability that the spouses are indifferent to each other. Therefore, there must be conflicts, pronounce grievances. Then they won't destroy your relationship.

Discuss your intimate life. If you live together, then you no longer have secrets from each other, so you can easily talk about your intimate life. Ask your wife if everything suits her.
Don't forget about mutual respect. Try to respect her feelings, don't do what she doesn't like. But ask her to make concessions to you and listen to your opinion.
Fight routine. If you have been living together for a long time, there is a desire to let everything take its course, and live the way you have to. But still, it is sometimes worth arranging pleasant surprises, organizing events for the family to make your life more interesting.
Don't be jealous. If a woman constantly hears her husband accusing her of cheating, although there is no reason for this, then sooner or later she will cheat on him. She will decide that it is pointless to prove something to you and it is easier to behave the way you expect from her.

Remember that for a woman, cheating on her spouse is not just a fun adventure, but most often a serious stressful situation. A woman does not change immediately, usually she decides to take this step not under the influence of suddenly surging feelings or desires, but after long experiences and unrest.

Therefore, if you understand the relationship in time, make her remember the feelings that she had for you, you can prevent betrayal and all its negative consequences.

What to do if the wife cheated?

What to do if there was still a betrayal, to forgive or not your spouse? It is difficult to answer this question, it all depends on the specific situation, on the relationship in marriage. Perhaps this betrayal, although painful for both spouses, will be a turning point in their lives.

If you no longer have a relationship, feelings have disappeared, then parting may be the best way out. But, even if you have made such a decision, it is still worth it to forgive a woman in order to free yourself from resentment and hatred, let go of this relationship and move on.

According to statistics, about 40% of men are ready to forgive infidelity (for women, this percentage is higher - 70%). But for those who decide to keep the relationship, it is important to understand that they will not be the same as before. You will have to build them again so that the situation does not happen again.

And, if you have already decided to be in a place again, forget about what happened to you, never reproach your spouse, do not blame her, otherwise all your attempts to build new trusting relationships will be unsuccessful.

Video: causes and signs of female infidelity and can it be forgiven?

This is an extremely dangerous period in the life of men - 40-50 years. At this age, they begin to take stock of life, sometimes they seem disappointing. Many conclude that existence has lost its meaning, and try to catch up. Most often, men find salvation in a new attachment - middle age accounts for the largest number of adultery. Meanwhile, very few decide on a new marriage ...

The behavior of a married man after forty is dictated by a midlife crisis. Almost every family experienced it to one degree or another. More often, of course, the husband "fools". Some even took the suitcase and left. True, for most of them, this suitcase was thrown out the door by an offended wife when she found out that the demon had knocked on her husband's ribs. And in vain...

When the demon knocks on the ribs, the man never (at least at the beginning of the "spree") does not plan to leave his family. He is not looking for a new wife - he is looking for a new stimulus in life, new sexual sensations, a new emotional charge. Because for 15 - 25 years of married life (we are talking about an exemplary family man), passionate feelings for his wife have already somewhat dulled. And this is natural, although women do not want to agree with the obvious. We all want to believe that passionate love can last a lifetime. Alas ... Love-passion after a couple of years of family life is gradually transformed into a calmer feeling. Some say it's a habit. No, not into habit - into affection, into spiritual intimacy, spiritual kinship. when both spouses are comfortable with each other (at least, this should ideally be the case).

However, time passes, and after forty an alarming “bell” is heard in the mind of a man. He feels that he is losing sexual power. In fact, this is normal: the peak of sexual activity of the stronger sex falls on 30-33 years, and after 37-40 years, its natural decline begins. But the man gets scared: “Just a little more, and I'm an old man?! But I haven’t lived yet - as they write in books, as they show in the movies. Yes, it can’t be, I’ll still prove what I’m capable of. I need to find such a woman to turn me on!” And indulges in all serious. But at the same time, a man after forty years of age implies that that other woman is just a lover, because his legal wife does not quite suit him - as a faithful life partner, a good housewife, a virtuous mother of his children.

The behavior of a married man dictates a spiritual surge, new sensations, he feels good. Do you know what he is thinking at this time? As if no one knew anything. He is a good worker, caring husband and father. And the most interesting thing is that during this period he can have the most wonderful relationship with his wife. He gives her gifts, kisses her in the morning, leaving for work, kisses in the evening, returning from work on time, at night - excellent sex. He is on the rise, he has time for everything. Both there and here. Hooray, he is in good shape again - cheerful, strong, young! ..

However, one day someone "knocks" his wife. And who does it the most? Mistress. What does she think? “The man is good, intelligent, since he meets with me, it means that he does not love his wife. We must take him! ”... That's just the point, that he loves! It's just that he has such a critical period, well, like menopause in women ... If the betrayal had not been opened, the conflict had not begun, believe me, everything in his family would be fine. And after a year - a year and a half, a maximum of two, this nonsense from a man's head would have left by itself. As they say, ran and calmed down. Of course, an attentive wife can guess, feel that her husband has someone on the side, this can be quite determined by some signs. But, perhaps, it would be better for her not to find out about this?.. Unfortunately, we were taught from childhood: the bitter truth is better than the sweet lie. Is not it? We are accustomed to everything, including human relations, feelings, mental turmoil, approach with cruel maximalist standards: black and white, right and wrong, good and bad. Faithful means love. Wrong - means a traitor, a scoundrel. Are there no other options...

What are we women to do?

By this age, men after forty should all be ready, because everyone will outlive it. Only half of the "victims" will not know about it. I know examples when, after forty, women went on a spree, and this happened in beautiful, one might say, exemplary families. And in the same families, before my eyes, men quietly “fornicated”, until now considered exemplary husbands. And all this eventually ended. Of course, if the "good man" did not report to his wife or husband.

Just don't think that I justify adultery and that you just have to give up on her. No, you can’t get away from stress and family squabbles. But how to do it? Let's think - what would a husband prefer if his wife found out about his adventures? So that they would arrange a disassembly, a scandal behind a closed door, even if they stuffed his face, but only they would not take dirty linen out of the hut. So that he would say: "Yes, I am guilty, I will not do it again." Believe me, half of the families in a similar situation do just that. And it really stops. But many women do things differently. And then they regret it.

There is an opinion that a wife after forty, if she wants to remain attractive to her husband, should especially follow her figure, do fitness, wear erotic lingerie, and so on. Then the husband will not look at the other. Nonsense. In fact, a woman should always take care of herself, out of respect for herself. But turning it into fanaticism is unwise. Movie star Elina Bystritskaya husband also cheated after forty-five, and she's a beautiful woman. A man just wants other sensations, and neither a beautiful figure nor glamorous lingerie will save him - he will go from this glamor to a simple woman. And it’s not a fact that I’m more young. He will go to another. Which one? And most often a man doesn’t care, therefore, let’s say, to a comfortable one: hosting, providing his apartment for meetings, not requiring much ... After all, a married man after forty years of age cannot be forced to strain too much, spend a lot of money. Often such women are “at hand”, at work. And, alas, there are quite a lot of them today - lonely, unsettled, yearning for male affection, and therefore ready to be comfortable.

Expel or forgive?

And the question is: what should a wife do if she found out about her husband's infidelity? Unfortunately, women, as a rule, begin to “break wood”: they scandalize, they go to work for their husband, to their mother, to their friends, they go to sort things out with that woman ... And in this way they make the husband look like a fool, a scoundrel. And the wheel spins!.. The offended and offended wife shows the “traitor” to the door, sends her to live with her mother, sends her to sleep on a cot, waits for him to crawl to her on his knees to ask for forgiveness ... Or she herself goes to tear the hair of his mistress. As a result, because of the unreasonableness of the wife, the family breaks up. Yes, yes, as a rule, most often a marriage falls apart not because of the husband's infidelity, but because of the wife's misbehavior after the betrayal has opened.

The first thing a woman should do in such a situation is to shut her mouth. The husband will then be very grateful that the wife behaved wisely. Yes, justice will prevail if he “feels a little”, but, as I already wrote, all emotions are in his apartment, behind a closed door. And for starters, shut your mouth to everyone: neighbors, colleagues, girlfriends, family friends, and even your own parents. The husband is already ashamed in front of his wife and children, he does not want to be judged (and gossiped) by the whole wide world.

That's who can become a reliable ally, so this is ... mother-in-law. Yes, yes, first of all, she does not want a scandal-la. She will be ashamed in front of people for the behavior of a married man - her son. Secondly, she feels sorry for her grandchildren. And, thirdly, she simply feels sorry for all the good, her labors and money that she invested in this family. Of course, she will say to her daughter-in-law: “It’s her own fault - the husband doesn’t walk from a good wife” (and then at every opportunity she will remember twenty more times), but she will fulfill her strategic task - she will threaten her son with a fist: “E- uh, yes, you are all in your dad! I’ll show you love!..” And the dad will quietly advise: “Son, don’t be a fool, don’t try to leave your family! Believe me, women are all different, and wives are all the same.

Often a deceived wife is oppressed by one circumstance - the absence of any information about a rival. Therefore, the second thing that it is desirable to do to the “victim” is to get information. It’s not worth asking your husband - he won’t tell the truth anyway: he will dodge and hide the ends in the water. And rightly so: he must open up to the last and not say more than his wife knows. Or immediately fall to your knees and swear that he himself does not know how it all turned out, that he was vilely seduced, drunk, bewitched ... This, by the way, is the most convenient and advantageous option for the exposed.

But it’s scary for a wife not to know anything: it’s like fighting an enemy blindfolded. Here you need a reliable person who will enlighten and at the same time not spread the secret "to the whole world in secret." Where to find it? It is worth looking for an authoritative aged woman among her husband's colleagues. As a rule, adultery for colleagues is not a secret. Only the wife is always the last to know.

And finally, the wife found out everything. What to do next? The third rule: in no case do not go to deal with a rival! Firstly, when you go to someone to ask or demand something, you are already losing. Secondly, until the wife saw her husband's mistress, for her everything is abstract, semi-real, not so painful. And when she sees her opponent specifically, emotions begin: either she is beautiful and young, and this is insulting - “I spent my youth on him, but he! ..”; and if she is older and not so beautiful, it outrages - “who did he change me for?”. Sometimes, out of anger, you want to pull out your impudent hair. And this is already a hundred percent loss. Therefore, there is no need to go to understand the opponent. And in general, she will be much honored!

In this situation, the woman who has more endurance, intelligence and female cunning will win. If the husband is dear, the wife needs to tell him: “You love her, go, but know that I love you very much too and I can’t live without you, because you are my whole life.” Golden rule: if you want to hold on, let go. But in no case should you expel your husband yourself! Dear women, don't give it to anyone just like that, in the heat of the moment, out of evil, out of the stupidity of your husbands! Even if the soul at that moment hurts unbearably, do not rush to chop off the shoulder. Listen carefully to your husband (husband, not strangers), think and understand him. To understand is to forgive.

And finally: if we are extremely attentive to each other, if we do not transfer all love and care to children, work, girlfriends, animals, entertainment, fashion, politics, sports, God knows what else, if not excluded from the above the list of your beloved husband, then it is possible that the demon, having knocked on the rib, will not get through. And you simply don’t have to delve into the peculiarities of the behavior of a married man after forty years.

Date: 01/18/2018

Content

There lived a family. It arose when the two consciously decided to join their destinies in order to continue to go through life “hand in hand”.

Spouses is a word denoting that people go through their fate in one team, jointly pulling out a load of household, material and problems related to raising children. The life path of the union is colored by common impressions and memories of memorable dates and victories achieved (acquisition of housing and home belongings, education of children, family vacations, holidays).

For children born in this family, mom and dad are two pillars on which their entire biography, attitude and sense of security are based.

And suddenly ... The union of two people turned out to be fragile. The infidelity of one of the partners destroyed him, and the "infallible half" of the family felt the unsteadiness of the ground under their feet, hard going through betrayal.

Age of betrayal

According to British researchers, cheating is the least common among spouses aged 18-25 years.

Early marriages between persons under legal age are often made out of curiosity and the desire for independence, the same curiosity pushes young people onto the path of adultery. Marriage is perceived by them as a burden that prevents self-affirmation. But according to statistics - fidelity and betrayal are equally recorded among the newlyweds-early.

The first 7 years of marriage give the greatest number of betrayals and - the process of creating a family is not easy for many.

After 40 years, both sexes give increasing numbers of adultery.

American researchers note the magic of round dates - the peak of betrayal falls on the 30th, 40th and 50th year of life. The explanation for this is simple - the transition to an older age category scares people with the approach of old age and the associated fear of losing attractiveness and sexuality. Gotta be on time! And morality is pushed aside. This is a midlife crisis.

Causes of male infidelity

Men closer to the age of 50 are worried about the decrease in potency. In this physiological process, they are ready to blame their aged wives - they do not excite, they do not attract. I would like to confirm my abilities with younger women. Hence - "gray hair in a beard, demon in a rib." How can her own home hen in a worn dressing gown, a grump, always preoccupied with domestic problems, compete with a well-groomed slender new girlfriend!

And free women are a dime a dozen, especially in our country, where for a hundred years there has been an extermination of men in wars. For example, according to the Federal State Statistics Service, during the Great Patriotic War, when there were losses of the military and civilian population of the country, 19.5 million men died, and 6 million women. What can we say about those wars in which only conscript soldiers.

Alcoholism also mows down the mostly male population.

Occupational injuries are much more common among men.

According to Rosstat, as of January 1, 2017, the number of women, starting from the age of 30-34, exceeds the number of men. By the age of 60, the ratio of women to men is nearly 1.6. With a penchant for adventurism, there is an opportunity to roam! Self-esteem rises, love intrigue diversifies gray everyday life.

Moreover, with a prominent social position, with an academic degree or a successful business, even an old man in advanced years can count on the favor of very young beauties. The old womanizer is sincerely sure that he arouses love in the heart of his chosen one. Although correctly noted - girls do not fall in love with older plumbers.

Why is my wife cheating

The betrayal of a wife is caused by resentment in response to the adventures of her husband. This is her revenge for betrayal, infidelity. This reason for adultery occurs at any age. It is difficult to say how equivalent such revenge is - after all, a husband, carried away by a new relationship, may not be interested in his wife's suffering. However, if such a move turns out to be saving for her pride, then why not resort to it. But the family is unlikely to become stronger by attracting new participants to the conflict.

Women's infidelity over the age of 40 has its reasons.

The main reasons for female infidelity

A wife cheating on her husband is the result of many circumstances:

By the age of forty, behind an endless series of household chores, new horizons begin to flash for a woman:

children grow up and there is no need for their constant guardianship;
time is freed up, some of the worries can be shifted to grown-up children;
career ascent is still possible, but it will happen by inertia from earlier efforts - you can look back and praise yourself for the results achieved;
occurs, the risk of unwanted pregnancy is reduced.

At the same time, some nuances of personal life are alarming:

reflection in the mirror (the appearance of wrinkles near the eyes, deep nasolabial folds) hints at;
the husband performs his marital duties habitually, without "excessive" emotions, but once he passionately declared his love.

Anxiety arises: really? Need to check. Colleagues, neighbors, acquaintances - do they see me as a woman? I would like to hear compliments.

The long-term routine of family relationships brings less and less joy. The range of family responsibilities has long been distributed. A woman is usually assigned daily monotonous functions: cleaning, cooking, washing and caring for clothes; it takes a lot of effort, but relatives often do not notice such cases.
Intimate conversations with her husband are in the past - everything has already been discussed a hundred times. Both have no interest in the affairs of the second half. Chronically lacking attention and participation. According to statistics, 81% of women in a love affair on the side are not looking for sexual adventures, but for the trust and friendship of their lover.
There is another bad tradition in many families - rudeness. Many believe that there is nothing to stand on ceremony in the family and you can snap at questions, remain silent, or, conversely, give orders. The continuation of such behavior is the habit of making fun of one's spouse in public. Alienation and the need to search for a soul mate on the side are gradually growing.

In a crisis period of life, a woman feels insecure. Children, family do not relieve the feeling of inner loneliness. And if there is also a seducer nearby ...

How to recognize cheating

In a family where everything was built on trust, adultery is not immediately revealed. The deceived spouse remains in the dark for a long time, because he does not allow the thought of the partner's entertainment "on the side", even if the facts of adultery are obvious.

Typical signs of infidelity

Over the years of family life, the spouses have studied each other well, but suddenly new nuances appeared in the habits of one of them:

Unexpected workaholism - the second half begins to stay at work until late, explaining this by emergency work, meetings, overtime work; business trips for several days suddenly appear, which was not there before.
Changes in appearance. The spouse awakens interest in the wardrobe, in new clothes; there is legibility in the quality and aesthetics of underwear. Women with b about take care of the skin of the face and body with great zeal. There is a need for a long study of your figure in the mirror.
Passion for perfume. Requests change - before leaving the house, you need an expensive high-quality perfume.
Emotional uplift. A mysterious expression appears on the face; a good mood gives out the humming of popular melodies.
The mobile phone is especially protected, SMS messages and information about calls are carefully erased. Any phone call causes a slight panic. New passwords are set on the computer.
Homework and school success of children become uninteresting.
The plans of the second spouse for the evening are meticulously clarified in order to build a plausible legend about his absence.
There are numerous claims to the legal spouse. It turns out that his habits have been annoying for a long time, he is tired of putting up with them, his patience is running out.
Noticeably cools sexual attraction to a partner, there are more and more excuses.
Periodically, there is talk that they are also tired of joint rest during the holidays. Looking for options for a separate pastime.
Inexplicable “black holes” appear in the family budget for buying gifts for the subject of a new hobby.

The most shocking proof is the infection with a venereal disease.

What if it's love?

It's hard to deal with change. Adultery through the eyes of a rejected spouse is a vile betrayal, in the interpretation of the hero-lover and his entourage - a novel. He or she is having an affair! There is:

a tie in the form of an acquaintance;
intrigue of varying duration with explanations, expectations, glances, calls and correspondence;
climax - secret dates, intimacy;
denouement - the fading of interest or an explanation with the legal half and the creation of a new family.

Real romance! Interest in life has returned, blood has begun to play, fantasies are embodied. I want to make bold plans for the future.

Divorce

One cannot discount such a development of events when a spouse ends partnerships at one home and creates a new one with a dream of family happiness. What to do? Hold it with magic or with public censure? How to bear such a blow to self-esteem? Advisers from among relatives and friends give diametrically opposite advice, whom to listen to?

Former spouses still need to find the courage to talk to each other and discuss all issues, trying to do without unnecessary accusations. Two people created a family, they are both to blame for the fact that the union broke up. We must try to end the breakup without causing anyone unnecessary mental pain.

How to save a family

It often happens that the "romance" turns out to be a temporary episode. Spouses are tied together by common children, property, habits. Both do not want to radically change their lives. But the fact of treason is obvious, it has already been discussed by all acquaintances. To the personal resentment of the "victim" is added the unwillingness to be branded as a "sucker" in public opinion. A fleeting infatuation creates big problems, sometimes for many years to come.

Statistics say: at least once in a lifetime, every second woman and 60-75% of men cheat. So, many people are familiar with the situation of betrayal. There is no need to dramatize it. The perpetrators in most cases feel remorse and themselves suffer from the fact that they could not resist the temptation.

True, a significant number of men and some of the women do not see a big offense in their love affairs - they simply succumbed to circumstances, but they were not going to destroy the family. Selfish natures, trying to get as much pleasure from life as possible, do not consider the feelings of other people. But, if such a person turned out to be a legal spouse, it means that once his narcissism did not become an obstacle to marriage with him. It remains only to put up with such a character.

A marriage of convenience is less likely to encounter problems in family relationships than a union of passionate love concluded in initially cloudless skies - if the chosen one has violent emotions, they can also lead him to new hobbies.

From whom to expect help

In any other domestic issue, in case of difficulties, we turn to a specialist - a doctor, an auto mechanic, an electrician, and do not try to solve the problem on our own. If the family is on the verge of collapse due to infidelity, the best solution would be to contact a family psychologist. Yes, you will have to open your soul to a stranger, tell about the humiliation experienced. But a competent specialist will unbiasedly study the state of affairs, determine the origins of discord, problems of family relations and infidelity, the degree of guilt of each spouse. Most importantly, he will tell you the way out of the impasse. Cheating on a husband or wife may turn out to be a mistake, a one-time love affair, not a crime. Many happy years lived together cannot be crossed out just because one of the spouses committed an ugly act, but he is very repentant of this.

Family psychology today has extensive practical experience in restoring harmony in relations between spouses. By eliminating misunderstandings, we can work together to strengthen a shattered family union. Let the memories of past betrayal not become a stumbling block in quarrels, but play the role of a signal light that in difficult situations will warn against committing such misconduct.

Prevention of change

In order to save yourself from difficult feelings about adultery, it is better to adhere to the following principles from the first days of family life:

Regardless of how the family was created - because of passionate love, coercion or sober calculation - its preservation requires the trust and mutual respect of the spouses.
Quarrels happen in any family, but you can’t accumulate resentment and unpleasant memories. The ability to ask for forgiveness is very useful in marriage.
It is impossible to humiliate a spouse alone or in the presence of strangers.
Even in the complete absence of common interests, one must respect the tastes and hobbies of the spouse.
Marriage is killed by routine and boredom. To be interesting to your half for as long as possible, you need to improve yourself.
Marriage is not just a common shelter and bed, it is a union of like-minded people, in which care for others comes to the fore.
The family cannot be a battlefield, the family is a safe haven that comforts and heals the soul after working days.
Moral support and praise should meet in the native walls of each family member.
If you want to make constant claims in the family, then before ruining an established relationship, each unfaithful spouse should think about the fact that his new chosen one also has some shortcomings that he will have to put up with.

The family is only registered in the registry office, but it is created by the tireless daily work of two loving hearts.

With the advent of genetic analysis, scientists from Great Britain, Germany, the USA, Russia and other countries began to encounter an interesting phenomenon: about 15-30% of fathers in prosperous, “traditional” families are raising a child that is not their own and are not even aware of it.

For males of any species in nature, such statistics are a real disaster. A man, hoping to pass on his genetic material, invests huge resources in raising offspring, but it turns out to be someone else's.

Why do women cheat

Experts from the University of Queensland (Australia) have been conducting research on this issue for many years. They came to interesting conclusions: there is a special gene in human DNA that literally “pushes” individuals who are especially prone to this betrayal. This gene is called AVPRIA.

It is active in both male and female bodies. Australian scientists interviewed more than 7.3 thousand pairs of twins, each of whom was in a long-term relationship at the time of the survey. The results of the study showed that ladies are not far behind gentlemen in terms of cheating.

About 18% of women cheat on their husbands during the year. Wives - about 22% of men. Husbands who easily forgive their own infidelity are very sensitive to their wives' infidelities. There are several factors that push the weaker sex to have sex with strangers in the presence of a permanent sexual partner.

Women during ovulation

The most fickle are young ladies approaching the period of ovulation. This "magic" period of the month makes almost all women extremely windy. By the time of ovulation, the female body is overwhelmed with the hormone estrogen, which is responsible for reproduction in women.

Under the influence of estrogen, the latter are practically unable to resist the call of nature, pushing them to find the strongest and healthiest male and mate with him at all costs to obtain strong and beautiful offspring. Even if a woman has a spouse, she subconsciously looks for the best candidate to be the father of her children.

Emancipated Women

The more emancipated a woman is, the easier she forgives herself for "little weaknesses" in the form of casual relationships. If even 40-50 years ago women's infidelity was perceived by society as a grandiose scandal, now they turn a blind eye to it more and more often. Women's sexual contacts have become more spontaneous.

Many ladies follow the example of men and easily get in touch with the first attractive guy they meet. If a woman has also developed as a professional and successful member of society, she will almost certainly have a freer view of gender relations.

Married bored women

Like husbands, wives can get "bored" in marriage over time. Ladies lack romance, novelty of feelings and a sense of their value in a stable relationship. A lover is always more attentive than a legal spouse. Flowers, a look full of adoration, short love meetings under the sign of "prohibition" - all this is insanely intriguing and attracts many married women. Husbands should not forget this.

Unfaithful wives evoke a sharply negative attitude among men, and sympathy among women of the same sex, who are much easier to understand the motivation for their actions. Who are they really - unfortunate victims of circumstances, or selfish persons, devoid of any spiritual values? Everyone can justify himself, so let's talk about the betrayal of women, looking into the eyes of the naked truth.

5 main reasons for female infidelity

The main reason here, of course, is one - a woman is cheating on her husband, because in marriage with him she is not all right, but this is understandable and so. Relations on the side are far from being started by everyone who has a hard time, which means that there is a certain type of people prone to such actions, and the specific circumstances under which this happens for the first time, becoming a starting point. Women's infidelity happens most often for the following reasons:

Marriage without love. If a young girl, for the sake of material gain, marries a man who is much older than her, there is no need to talk about high feelings in this union. Cheating women in such marriages is not uncommon, and therefore not surprising. Both spouses from the very beginning understood what they were getting into, and received from each other what they wanted: he - prestige and a young beauty, and she - a stable financial position and confidence in the future. The husband understands perfectly well that as a man he is not interesting to his wife, and she, having decided on an affair with her lover, tries to observe at least the external rules of decency;
Lack of attention from husband. No woman is satisfied with being an empty place for her husband. If he ignores her in a conversation, does not consider her opinion, does not make compliments, and makes it clear in every possible way that she is not interesting to him, she will begin to look for attention on the side. Considering their wife ugly or stupid, men for some reason think that everyone else has the same opinion about her. In fact, there is sure to be a lover for any appearance, and any type of character will suit someone. It all starts with the usual flirting, which, as a woman thinks, is only needed for ... But the attention of a new admirer is doubly pleasant, because there is something to compare with, and the comparison is definitely not in favor of a cold husband. The next step is communication, then sympathy, falling in love, and of course, sex. And the most interesting thing is that the wife's betrayal is surprising, first of all, for herself;
Revenge. A truly husband is possible only if this connection was accidental. If his romance was long, his feelings for him were strong, and he himself could not make a choice between two women for a long time, his wife’s hurt pride will definitely declare itself. This will not happen immediately, because saving her marriage, she acted spontaneously, and did not think too much about what awaits her in the future. So, the husband returned, and everything seemed to be as it was. Everything, except for the emotional state of his wife. No matter how she hides her true feelings, resentment for the humiliation experienced will torment her soul for a long time to come. In order to regain, many wives decide to repay their husband in the same coin, and it is the fact itself that is important to them, so “happiness” can break off to some old school fan and a married neighbor. As a rule, cheating on a woman in such a situation can only lead to mental devastation and a sense of hopelessness, after which family relationships become even worse, or end in divorce;
Total control of a jealous husband. People grow up, but life seems to teach nothing to some. Have you noticed that there are many more adult smokers among those whose parents forbade smoking in their teens? The same thing happens with wives, however, unlike children, they violate the ban not out of interest, but out of fatigue to hear unfair accusations. Tolerate distrust is not so offensive if it is on the case. In addition, constant surveillance is very conducive to a double life. Involuntarily, you have to lie, hide something that is not at all necessary to hide, discuss forbidden topics in advance in the presence of your husband with your surroundings ... Life becomes very stressful, and does not add joy. The husband is annoyed by the harmless communication of his wife with other men, even where there is no smell of flirting, and here he makes the biggest mistake - deprives her of the opportunity to be frank with him. Women, like men, are very tired of constant scandals, but can there be love where there is fear? If, on the part of the husband, lightning flies to the address of a specific person who is always nearby (family friend, his brother, neighbor, etc.), he may not want to draw his wife's attention to him;
Love. Most likely, in this situation, no one is to blame. Sadly, everything has an end, and only rare couples live together all their lives in care and respect. Even if the wife's feelings for her lover cool down, this will not return her interest in her husband. Most wives who have cheated on their husbands with a new lover decide to divorce, and this does not mean at all that they arrange their lives in this way. Not every lover is ready to marry, but this is not the main thing. Family life will not make any of the spouses happy, and if so, then timely care will at least save both from wasting time.

Mental state of a woman after infidelity

To a greater extent, the inner feelings of a woman depend on her husband. If he, although not beloved, is generally positive, the wife understands that he does not deserve deception on her part, but she is also unable to resist the temptation. In fact, a married woman is dealing with an internal conflict caused by contradictions and the inability to correctly prioritize. As a result, the accumulated irritation pours out on the spouse, who still does not suspect anything.

It also happens vice versa. If the wife cheats out of resentment, she has an interest in life, a surge of strength, and everything that usually accompanies falling in love. Married to her tyrant husband, she did not feel happy, and seeing the comparison is not in his favor, she wants to run away from her former life to someone with whom it is easier, more pleasant, more fun, etc.

The difference between female infidelity and male infidelity

There are exceptions, but men often cheat only with the body, and women also with the soul. Having received a sexual discharge, the spree husband quite calmly breaks off relations with his mistress, but it is much harder for unfaithful wives to make a choice. For married women, casual relationships on the side happen less frequently than for men, and if the relationship with a lover is supported by emotional attachment, such a couple is unlikely to part voluntarily. For the most part, female infidelities end, even if the romance on the side has failed completely.

How can a woman choose between a lover and a husband?

If a new lover does not just have fun in the campaign of a married woman, but insists on her leaving the family in order to "legalize" her position in her life, she faces a difficult choice.

The following actions on your part will help you make a decision faster:

Think about the consequences. If the husband is still neither sleep nor spirit about what is happening, it is better to make a choice before he becomes aware of the love triangle. Even if you have known him for many years, you cannot predict his reaction to the betrayal of his beloved woman. The calmest person is able to show unexpected aggression, and a completely optimistic man, under the influence of emotions, can do stupid things and ruin his life ... Remember that the situation is entirely in your hands, which means that only you can prevent a possible tragedy;
Imagine a lover as a husband. Even if a loved one proposed to you, this does not mean that family life with him will meet your expectations. He can be cheerful, temperamental, and truly in love, but meeting is one thing, and life together is quite another. If he is reliable, responsible, and your feelings are mutual, then there are no external obstacles. In any case, you have to live with him, so take the choice in his favor with all responsibility;
Release emotions. Such a serious decision should be taken only on a cold head. Leaving your husband during another quarrel, you will not be able to adequately assess what is happening. Cool down first, and then think again;
Decide only for yourself. You cannot know what is really good for another person. As you continue to live with your husband out of pity, consider whether he will appreciate your sacrifice if he finds out about what is happening. Keeping a family for the sake of children, take an interest in their opinion. A complete family can only be a blessing if the child's parents live peacefully and respect each other. A tearful mother and a scandalous father are far from the best model of family relationships, and children so often learn from our bad experience! Before you surprise your lover by coming to him with a packed suitcase, find out if he is ready for a life together with you;
Make sure your lover is serious. Deciding on cardinal changes, consider every little thing. A loved one may not be ready for a more serious relationship, but at the same time think differently. Not only women are prone to fantasies, but dreams are very far from reality.