How to behave in a conflict situation - techniques, tips and examples. How to behave in conflict situations Proper behavior in a conflict situation

30.07.2023

Conflict is something that can arise both in family and friendships, and in a work environment. The behavior of people in determines the outcome of not only the quarrel itself, but also the relationship as a whole. That is why it is very important to be able to correctly resolve various disagreements or, even better, to be able to get around them. So how to behave in conflict situations correctly? Let's find out!

What is conflict?

The types of disagreements and quarrels are varied, but they all have the same essence.

First of all, a conflict is a situation created to resolve the contradiction of two people in the form of activity on both sides, which is necessary in order to achieve justice. It is extremely undesirable to avoid disputes, since in most cases misunderstandings occur due to understatement, and this does not benefit any of the conflicting parties. Suppressing fights and disagreements is dangerous because it can lead to rash decisions.

The first stage is the stage of potential formation of conflicting values, interests, views, norms of behavior.
The second stage - at this stage, the potential contention turns into a real one, or the participants in the conflict situation are aware of their true and false interests.
The third stage is the quarrel itself.
The fourth stage is the removal or resolution of conflicts.

What are the main reasons for disagreement?

Conflict resolution is based on understanding the causes of their occurrence. Often the causes of disputes are the lack of mutual understanding between people, as well as the presence of diametrically opposed interests and approaches to solving problems. Perhaps the reason for the disagreement is revenge, envy, resentment, or a low culture of communication. The quarrel may be based on such things as the usual incompatibility of characters or the inability to find a common language. The reasons may be the behavior of "difficult" employees or simple troubles in the organization, such as emergency work.

What differences between people can give rise to conflict?

One of the leading causes of disagreement is the differences between the disputants. Despite the fact that people are born equal in rights and free in their dignity, most often in reality they turn out to be more than unequal. Compatibility is influenced by many factors, for example, a different understanding of the meaning of the work than that of the opponent, differences in worldview, non-identity of interests, incompatibility of characters, a dissimilar attitude to work and duties, as well as a different degree of preparedness for doing work and, most importantly, available them ways of resolving conflict situations.

Types of conflicts

In most classifications, collisions are divided into constructive and destructive.

For a characteristic feature is the impact on the fundamental aspects and problems of the life of the participants in the dispute. The resolution of this type of disagreement brings the participants of the quarrel to a new stage in the development of personality, while destructive disputes often have disappointing consequences. Destructive actions in conflict situations, such as squabbles, gossip or other negative phenomena, in most cases reduce the effectiveness of the group.

What are the types of conflict personalities?

First of all, it should be noted that there are several classifications of people involved in disputes. Your personality type will help determine the test. Behavior in a conflict situation largely depends on this. The following is a list of possible courses of action.

Pedant. This type of personality is extremely precise: he is punctual, boring, picky, although he is executive. He tends to push people away.

As a rule, these people are choleric. They are characterized by constant stormy activity, which is conducted in a variety of directions. For the demonstrative type, they are vital. These people like to be constantly in sight and often have high self-esteem.

Conflict-free. This type of personality tends to consciously move away from conflict situations. In addition, he knows how to shift the solution of problems to others. Often unprincipled. And the conflict, in turn, grows like a snowball and, falling on the head of this type of personality, leaves unpleasant consequences.

Leech. This person will not be rude to you, will not say nasty things, will not offend. However, after communicating with him, both mood and well-being worsen, fatigue appears.

Inert or personality. People who do not know how to rebuild, or, in other words, do not take into account changes in circumstances and situations, as well as accept the opinions and points of view of others. This type is capable of showing painful resentment. They are ambitious and suspicious.

Tank. This type of personality is characterized by such qualities as rudeness, pressure and arrogance. Style of behavior: go ahead to the very end. These people in most cases tend to despise all the subtleties of relationships, other people's opinions and feelings.

Cotton wool. At first glance, this type of personality gives the impression of a decent and complaisant person. Often he is accommodating and ready to make concessions. At the very beginning of communication, there are no problems. However, in the future you will notice that this type of personality does not fulfill promises.

Prosecutor. A person belonging to this type of personality criticizes very specific people: neighbors, car owners, sellers and controllers. After he tells you who and how should work, gives arguments and draws conclusions, he will certainly feel better. This personality type is driven by the desire to speak and be heard.

What will contribute to ending disagreements?

Any type of conflict situations can be successfully resolved if the following two circumstances are observed.

The first factor: the participants in the quarrel understand the existing differences, and also recognize the right of each other to their opinion.

The second factor is that both sides agree to abide by certain rules of the game. This makes communication between them more efficient.

Possible styles of behavior when dealing with "harmful" people

Management is important in order not to aggravate the quarrel.

One style of behavior is to earn the opponent's love and simply prevent conflict from arising.

The second style of communication is stress relief. Are you openly provoked? Take a deep breath through your nose, draw fresh air into your lungs, imagine all the anger or irritation that is in you, and exhale it all. This technique will allow you to control yourself and not act “on emotions”.

To make it easier to get along with people, collect jokes, funny pictures and stories. When communicating with a "harmful" person, they will help you.

Among other things, you can openly protest against rudeness.

If the “harmful” person still spoiled your mood, then just don’t think about it. Either think about something good, or about someone you don't like. The choice is yours.

How to behave in conflict situations?

During a quarrel, each of the parties can choose one of three possible strategies: 1) by all means available at the moment, achieve victory; 2) to get away from the scandal, not to oppose; 3) to negotiate in order to overcome differences peacefully, or by finding a compromise. So how to behave in conflict situations? What course of action to choose?

Avoiding or Avoiding an Argument

When you get into a conflict situation, you just need to ignore your opponent and not succumb to provocations. In this strategy of behavior, the essence is the same: I absolutely do not care what decision will be made and what actions will follow. Naturally, by this you show disregard for your own interests.

Compulsion

There are situations when it is not important for you to get out of the conflict, but it is important to defend your views. The "Coercion" tactic is to convince, to force the opponent to agree with your point of view. This strategy is used when you think that your opinion is the most important and correct, and the opinion of others is absolutely indifferent to you. It forces people to do what you want and fully comply with your intentions.

Compliance

It is used when we have a high interest in the opinions of others and a low interest in our own. You need to fully agree with the opinion of the opponent, while not expressing any of your desires and considerations. This tactic helps not to create a conflict at all or to resolve it quickly.

Compromise

The strategy is used when you have an average interest in relation to the opponent's opinion and there is a desire to resolve the dispute or avoid it altogether. The tactic is based on the fact that both you and the opponent give up part of their desires in order to resolve conflicts, trying to find a solution that will satisfy both.

This strategy is very effective, very useful, but the main disadvantage of it is that you have to give up some part of your claims. As a result, the solution of the conflict situation does not satisfy all needs.

Cooperation

Immediately make a reservation that this is the most effective strategy of behavior. It is effective when you have a high interest in both the opinion of the opponent and in your own interests. The "Cooperation" strategy is to fully satisfy the interests of both parties.

Possible obstacles to ending disagreements

In addition to the main question of how to behave in conflict situations, it is also important to know what can prevent you from repaying quarrels:

If the participants in the dispute see only in their victory.
If there are emotional aspects in a quarrel that prevent concessions or compromises.
If the parties to the conflict lack the skills to develop a compromise and negotiate.
If the parties use ineffective strategies in the conduct of the dispute.

What hinders conflict management?

One or both parties wish to continue to quarrel.
The participants in the conflict believe that their interests are mutually exclusive, which is why they perceive the dispute as a struggle.
The emotional relationship between the disputants is such that they cannot interact constructively.
If the parties differently perceive the essence of the quarrel. This can happen if the participants in the conflict situation have an initial divergence in values or they interpret what is happening differently.
The fact that disagreements and disputes are just the tip of the iceberg, and its resolution is of little importance.

Readiness for a conflict situation and correct behavior in it is one of the most important qualities of a man. And it's not even that your girlfriend will be proud of you when she sees you "in action", but in yourself. The realization of one's point of view, beliefs, competent behavior and a stable emotional state are the key to success in work and relationships, as well as maintaining a stable psyche throughout life.

After all, many men do not know how to behave in critical situations and go to extremes. Some uncontrollably splash out their emotions, thereby only worsening the situation. Others, due to their stiffness and uncertainty, keep everything in themselves. And even being right, they are unable to defend their point of view. This not only harms life ambitions and success, but also has an extremely negative effect on health. After all, suppressed aggression can result in serious diseases.

How to behave as a man in a conflict situation - 6 rules

#1 Keep your body under control. The main thing is to stop the uncontrolled release of adrenaline, from which you begin to shake and provoke rash actions. If you have problems with this, you need to work on this point. How to do it? Surprisingly, only gaining experience in conflict situations. At a certain stage, making them habitual for yourself. To do this, it is not necessary to go outside and run into the first healthy forehead that comes across. For example, you may have a job for which conflict situations can be the norm. You don't have to look far for an example. Logistics. The freight forwarder acts as an intermediary between the customer and the carrier. All emergency situations fall on the shoulders of the forwarder. And believe me, there are a lot of them. You have to learn to talk to different people in different emotional states. As you gain experience, you will behave much better in critical situations. This is just one example, of which there can be many.

#2 Don't get emotional, act logically. Instead of yelling at the person (even if they are wrong), you should focus on WHAT and HOW you say. You can express your thoughts concisely, clearly and convincingly. If the opponent is wrong, it will be difficult for him to oppose anything other than his loud voice and emotions against your logically understandable and convincing arguments.

#3 Neutralize the "sing along". In some situations, "accommodating" accomplices will join your opponent. As a rule, these are the so-called "sixes", which can be easily shut up and move on to constructive communication with your main opponent. This is done quite simply. You can, for example, say that the person simply does not interfere in your conversation with the conflicting party, since he or she is not directly related to the conflict.

#4 Keep an even emotional state until your opponent "deflates". For most people, acting under strong emotions, and accordingly, adrenaline, moral strength ends very quickly. This is especially true for women. I have noticed more than once how even the most inveterate brawler, after a while, the conditional “switch” works, and she is simply cut off. Power is running out. She gives up and may even cry. It happens very unexpectedly. To a lesser extent, this applies to men. If you control yourself and maintain the most calm and confident state for this situation, after a very short time you will find yourself in a certain win.

#5 Try to maintain an internally neutral attitude towards the enemy. After all, it is quite possible that after a while he will admit that he was wrong, repent and apologize to you. If you kept a cool head, it will be easier for you to make peace. This is especially useful in working relationships.

#6 It may be the other way around. You realize that you were wrong. And here the important quality is to admit your mistake and apologize. There is nothing wrong with this. On the contrary, a person will understand that you have a mind, reason and willpower. You are objective in relation to yourself, so you can conduct further communication and business with you, if it concerns work.

How to behave in a conflict situation with a stranger?

A conflict situation can occur with a random person, for example, on the street. In this case, the best option would be to leave the conflict zone as quickly as possible. In other words, leave. There is no point in proving something to a stranger with whom nothing connects you. Even if he tries to insult you. Just leave, that's all. After all, the opinion of one person is not a universal truth. And it doesn't apply to you. For example, he called you a fool. But you know that you are not stupid. And what is the point of proving this to some “leftist”, perhaps a mentally ill person? It makes no sense.

Be ready for anything

Conflict situations- an integral part of the life of any person. This is neither good nor bad. Therefore, an important quality will be to be able to live through such moments with minimal moral (and in some situations, physical) losses. If necessary, smooth them out or avoid them altogether, if possible. Of course, it's all about life experience. If you happen to step out of your comfort zone again, keep the above tips in mind and put them into practice. In this case, you will become more confident in yourself, and people will take you more seriously. Good luck!

Today we will talk about how to behave in conflict situations, which, unfortunately, are not always avoided. Even if you are a compliant person, there are individuals who are eager for clashes. And you will have to somehow get out of this difficult circumstance with dignity with your head held high.

Causes of conflicts

Before you learn how to deal with conflict situations, you should consider where they come from. There are four types of conflicts:

Objective. External circumstances, labels, the social position of the individual, lifestyle are examples of objective reasons for the emergence of disagreement. The accepted norms and foundations in society can cause conflicts if they are not perfect, have a weak regulatory function and do not take into account all possible circumstances in interpersonal relationships.
Organizational. This category includes ergonomic, situational, and structural causes of strife. Disagreement arises from unorganized human activity. If the structure of the organization does not meet the requirements of the activities in which it is engaged, strife arises within the workforce and individual groups of people. Mistakes in management are also a source of controversy.
Socio-psychological factors. Any relationship of an individual in society is conditioned by his psychological and social installation programs, which often run counter to the opinion of opponents, resulting in conflicts.
Personal, or subjective, directly depend on the individual, his behavior, attitude to society, mental characteristics of character.

This is about the reasons. Now let's figure out how to behave in conflict situations.

Rules of conduct in a dispute with a colleague

If there was a conflict at work, how to behave? One of the parties must adhere to the following recommendations:

Allow your opponent to blow off steam. Let your partner throw out negative emotions, because in a state of emotional arousal a person is uncontrollable, aggressive, due to overflowing negativity. Until he calms down, it is useless to say anything. It is necessary to behave quietly, confidently and in no case arrogantly.
Ask for a calm explanation. The opponent must be given to understand that information is not perceived in such an emotional presentation. You can cut off aggression with the help of questions: “Are you telling reliable facts, or are you expressing your opinion?”, “Your statements can not be argued?”.
Knock down anger with sudden tricks. The main task of the reception will be switching it to positive emotions. For example, you can make a compliment or show sympathy, only sincerely. Ask for advice, remind about pleasant moments together.
Do not put a negative emphasis on your partner in your appeal, translate it into your feelings. For example, you should not say: “You are lying to me,” but rather: “I feel fooled.” Avoid the phrase: “You are rude”, instead, you need to say: “I don’t like the tone in which you are talking to me.”
Ask them to formulate a problem that needs to be solved. Try to jointly decide on it and focus on it. In this case, aggression should be removed.
Invite the opponent to present his arguments and his considerations. Try to come to a consensus.
Whatever happens, do not let your partner drop dignity. Do not be rude in response, do not walk on personality. Evaluate only actions. You should say: "You did not keep your word for the second time." It is not recommended to say the phrase: "You don't give a damn about everything."
Display statements. For example: “Is it true that I understood you (la)?”, “Allow me, I will repeat to make sure that I have understood (la) the information.”
In one position, be on top. You should not respond with anger to aggression, keep silent, give in to your opponent. You should be calm and confident, keep your position.
If guilty, feel free to admit it, ask for forgiveness. This commands respect and shows the maturity and intelligence of your personality, and also disarms your opponent.
You don't have to prove anything. It is necessary to exchange opinions calmly.
Shut up first. This tactic also works to help you get out of a fight and stop it. Only this should be done in such a way that it does not offend the partner, it is not presented in the form of mockery or challenge.
Don't add fuel to the fire. Avoid the phrases “What are you mad about?”, “What are you angry about?”. This will only increase the conflict.
Get out of disagreement with dignity. It is not necessary, when leaving the room, to slam the door, or to utter an offensive phrase in the end.
Wait for your partner to calm down. Let your opponent regard your silence as you like, the main thing is to stop the conflict. And when the partner calms down, you can continue the conversation.
No matter how the conflict ends, try to save the relationship. Show respect and show agreement about the strife that has arisen. If you let your opponent "save face", you won't spoil the partnership.

We looked at tips on how to behave in a conflict situation at work. Now let's talk about strategies. In a dispute, both sides evaluate each other's interests, compare questions, they say, what will he gain and what will he lose, how important is the subject of the dispute for the opponent. It is the answers that will contribute to the choice of a model of behavior in a dispute.

Strategies

Distinguish:

Care. The strategy is determined by the mutual desire to avoid a dispute.
Agreement. This pattern of behavior demonstrates two-way concessions.
concession. The partner tries not to get involved in a dispute, and does not consider his own interests, does not give them an assessment.
Partnership. The individual puts his own interests and the opinion of his opponent on a high level. The essence is the equal importance of the points of view of both sides and a conscious assessment of interpersonal relationships.
Compulsion. Own interests are above all, and the opinion of the opponent, in principle, is not of interest.

When interpersonal relationships - partnership, friendship, and so on - are indifferent to one individual, in a dispute he will show aggression and negativity, adhere to the extreme steps of the strategy (coercion, struggle, rivalry). When a partner's interpersonal relationships are at their best, he exhibits constructive behavior and tends to agree, cooperate, withdraw, or give in. So, we briefly reviewed strategies for how to behave in a conflict situation.

What are the dispute resolution methods?

Conditionally divided into two groups:

Negative. Here all means are used to defend their goal and achieve victory for only one side.
Positive or constructive conflict resolution methods are reasonable competition and all kinds of negotiations.

Often these methods complement one another. And no matter how diverse they are, they still have common features, because at least two people take part in the dispute, where one interferes with the other.

Constructive Methods for Resolving Disputes

The main thing is to keep calm. So, consider the tips on how a constructive person behaves in a conflict situation. Adviсe:

Identify the opponent from the disagreement. Do not insult, do not humiliate your partner, do not get personal. Evaluate only words. Point out an erroneous opinion, try to convince, or maybe you will see your mistake.
Listen to your opponent's opinion. Even if it's wrong, show respect.
Don't interrupt. The ability to listen reduces aggression in a dispute to zero. And the skill of persuading will help constructively resolve the conflict.
Use the "I - statements" technique. Start with the words: "I feel ...", "I think that ...". You have to be flexible and adapt to the situation. Do not forget about the topic of conversation, find common ground.

The main thing is to control your behavior in conflict situations so as not to provoke your opponent to aggression and anger.

Consider the rules of behavior of a leader in a conflict situation

Keep calm.
Keep neutral.
Look for compromise solutions.
Never hold public hearings.

We examined tips on how to behave in a conflict situation as a leader. It is from the management company that the outcome of the disagreement will depend. He needs to learn a lesson and take a number of actions (change job descriptions, issue new decrees, orders, and so on) in order to prevent the emergence of new conflicts. The more often he communicates with subordinates, and conveys to them legal and corporate norms, organizational values, resolve minor disagreements, major conflicts can be avoided.

How to behave in conflict situations? Ways

In life, it is impossible to do without conflicts, so they must be taken for granted. The main thing is to learn how to competently get out of disputes. You need to let your opponent know that you are not an enemy, that you are positive and interested in resolving the disagreement.

Compulsion

Here it is supposed to use different methods of pressure on the partner, in order to make a certain decision, an iron struggle for one's own opinion, which is above someone else's, prevails, while completely ignoring it. This method is usually used by the manager in order to defend the interests of production, but the suppression of the personality of the subordinate can provoke a second dispute.

Mutual concessions

Involves accepting the opponent's point of view. Contributes to the rapid end of the conflict, but often the source of the dispute is not eliminated, which will lead to a new conflict outbreak.

Evasion

The method works when the opponent can get away from the dispute if it is inappropriate, or if the conflict is slowly resolved by itself, or there is no constructive solution, but there is a prospect of its occurrence.

Smoothing

The dispute is not resolved. Sharp corners are simply smoothed out, but the root of the problem remains.

Conflicts with a child

Mutual respect, recognition of positions, views and interests prevail here. Helps to find and analyze the sources of the dispute. And finally, we will find out how to behave in conflict situations with children.

Allow the child to speak out, to release emotions outward.
Ask him to justify his opinion.
Use tricks.
Remind yourself of how you feel.
Try to find together the cause of the dispute and the end result.
Find starting points.
Show your interest in resolving the conflict.
Be calm, stay equal.
Whatever the outcome, keep a good relationship.

The golden rule for resolving any dispute is the competent control of your emotions. Always be calm. Resolve disagreements with the help of logic, knowledge of psychological techniques. How to behave in conflict situations with a child correctly:

Don't be critical.
It is not necessary to see bad intentions in the actions of the child.
It is forbidden to show superiority.
Do not blame the child, thus removing responsibility from yourself.
Do not ignore his interests.
Look at the situation through his eyes.
Do not show aggression, do not swear.
Don't press on the sore spots.

To avoid these mistakes, you need to learn the right behavior in conflict situations.

Conflicts are inherent in any team. They infuriate some, inspire others. Behavior scenarios, tests, tips and recommendations on how to behave in a conflict situation - all this is in the material of the article.

From the article you will learn:

How to respond to a conflict situation in a team: we study with examples

Employee sabotages manager's orders

A department worker was seen in sabotage. At the same time, he sets colleagues against the leader. Before that, there were no such situations. How to understand why he does this?

The reasons for this behavior may be different. Often an employee is driven by personal resentment. For example, he was not promoted, did not appreciate the results of his work, and with such behavior he takes revenge on the leader. But it also happens that an employee expresses indifference by sabotage. For example, he seeks to reach out to management when he does not agree with company policy. In this case, sabotage carries a constructive component. After listening carefully to the employee, you can take measures to improve the situation in the company.

We recommend talking to the saboteur. Find out his motives. Try to negotiate with him to prevent a conflict situation. A frank heart-to-heart conversation will allow the employee to “let off steam” and start a constructive dialogue with the manager. It is optimal that such a conversation does not take place in the office. leader but in neutral territory. Talk to the rest of the team as well. Ask them why they are unhappy and how they see ways to resolve the situation.

Advise the manager to communicate regularly with subordinates. Conduct a survey to study the atmosphere in the team (sample below) or satisfaction with working conditions (sample below). Listen to each employee and correctly provide him with feedback according to the results of work. Conduct explanatory work in relation to management policy and decisions made in the company. This is the best way to prevent sabotage.

Colleagues fight each other

The employees got into a big fight. The direct manager did not intervene. However, the situation has worsened. They dragged other employees of the department into the conflict. As a result, there were two warring factions that constantly sort things out with each other. How to improve relationships in the department?

Conflict resolution methods:

Talk to each side of the conflict separately. Try to convey to the warring employees that the quarrel creates a negative atmosphere in the team, which will affect the results of teamwork. Stay neutral. Do not support one of the warring parties, do not evaluate actions and words, and do not teach.

Try to figure out the reasons spore and understand why the parties behave the way they do. Invite the parties to switch roles, put themselves in the place of the opponent. After finding out all the details, find possible ways to resolve the conflict situation.

It may also turn out that the conflict is of a personal nature. For example, it is due to the psychological incompatibility of employees or the clash of two informal leaders. In this case, help the parties express their claims to each other without emotional intensity and becoming personal. And develop a joint strategy of behavior in a conflict situation.

How to deal with stress in a conflict situation

Learn to reduce the importance of what is happening.

You should not work where you constantly experience psychological pressure, even if your financial situation is extremely difficult. Neglect of mental health can lead to illness. You will have to be treated, and this will only exacerbate your problems.

Choosing a job, everyone mentally evaluates its pros and cons. Do you feel like the benefits of the job outweigh the benefits? Then make every effort not to overreact to stress emotionally.

At home, in a calm environment, practice in ... indifference.

There is a psychological technique called "anchoring". Sit on a chair, relax. Recall those situations when you were indifferent to something.

Indifference is the most appropriate emotion for the situation. Indifference will give you control over your own body and thoughts. At the same time, it will not be very disharmonious with what is happening.

Get used to those times when you remained indifferent and did not get emotionally involved. You can fix your psychological state, for example, using a certain gesture. The gesture should be natural and imperceptible to an outside observer. And at the same time, it must be "unique", otherwise the anchor will quickly be "erased".

Practice relaxation of the body and proper breathing.

During stress muscles contract involuntarily. When you feel that a conflict situation arises, relax your body and follow your breath. Mentally walk down your body from top to bottom, from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. Relax as much as possible (and hold this state). Watch your breath - it should be smooth and slow.

For example, you can breathe in 4 counts - inhale 4 counts, exhale 4 counts. Between inhalation and exhalation, you can make additional pauses, also for 4 counts.

For example, you late for work. And what? Usually this is not a reason to cry, but situations are different. You've made a mistake. How much did it cost the company? Even if the amount is gigantic, shouting will not solve the problem. We need to think about how to fix the situation. Often the cry of the leader during a conflict situation is disproportionate to your misconduct. Pay attention to this (your own, not the leader's). When a boss yells at a subordinate, he wants to suppress his will and ability to think. And also - to punish and enjoy by elevating yourself and humiliating another.

What if the problem was not worth a damn, but at the same time caused an inadequate reaction? A strategy for resolving this conflict may be to try to forgive your boss. He may have psychological problems that he takes out on subordinates. If possible, evaluate your offense in terms of money (materials, time, etc.). This will help you in the next steps, when you will answer with reason.

Read more about methods of studying and resolving conflicts in the article " ".

If you spend a lot of time in the office, then rapprochement with colleagues and leaders is inevitable. The reverse side of such close communication is quarrels, disputes and scandals. In a word, we are talking about a conflict at work - contradictions that arise due to a different vision of the situation.

Types of conflicts

The conflict is closely related to negative emotions and going beyond social and moral norms.

The most common scenario is a quarrel between two colleagues. However, a problem is possible between one person and the whole team, as well as the employee and the boss. Slightly less often there are disagreements between individual groups, when people compete in work or gather around informal leaders.

The variety of professional conflicts is great, which means that it is difficult to avoid them. Five years ago, a HeadHunter study showed that more than 60% of Russians at least once got into a quarrel with their superiors.

In order to maintain working capacity and stress resistance in such conditions, you need to know how to behave correctly in a conflict situation.

How to behave in a conflict situation

1. Recognize the problem

If the conflict is inevitable and the situation that has arisen causes discomfort, do not hide your head in the sand and do not hope that everything will disappear by itself. Having established that there are real contradictions, try to analyze what role the parties to the conflict play in its creation. It's helpful to consider what outside factors are driving the fight (whether it's a busy work schedule, pressure from superiors, or personal animosity).

2. Take the lead

When you understand the scope of the problem and its nature, start working on it. Don't wait for the other side to do it. Be the first to bring up a discussion of the situation, even if you played an unpleasant role in creating it. When doing this, consider the time and place for a difficult conversation.

So, a short e-mail correspondence or an irritated telephone conversation at lunchtime can lead to even more development of the conflict. Discuss everything in detail and in a calm place. A personal meeting should be really personal - without strangers in the form of fellow observers.

3. Don't respond to bait

When discussing the cause of a conflict with an opponent, remember that there are words whose purpose is to bring you to a “fever”. All kinds of insults and impudent remarks only distract from the essence of the quarrel. Do not give in, so as not to lose control over yourself and over the course of the conversation. Stick to your line and don't fight back. Understand that any resentment will subside over time, but the positive result of productive joint activities, whether it be a salary increase or a completed project, will become a real success.

4. Be diplomatic

If you are angry or upset, you need to understand that the interlocutor also has feelings and experiences, and he is worthy of respect. Even if it seems that he is doing terrible things, getting personal, there is no need to hurt a person. Aggressive people are vulnerable, so a cheeky joke or a killer argument can ignite conflict more.

Be correct and diplomatic so that the atmosphere of scandal will dry up by itself. When the interlocutor has begun to speak, be prepared to consider a different point of view. Do not rush him with the expression of thoughts and do not interrupt.

How to avoid conflict

If the collision reflects different points of view within the production process, it is not necessary to avoid it. Such conflict situations are handled correctly, and most importantly, they help to achieve better working results.

However, if you are faced with an attempt to turn a local skirmish into a real domestic scandal, then refrain from playing dirty. Communication with outright aggressors undermines your emotional and psychological stability. This will negatively impact your work. In such a situation it makes sense:

1. Keep silent

A great way to wrap up any quarrel that has begun. In this case, you do not avoid the problem, but keep the situation within the working framework. Do not show that the words of the instigator offended you. Don't answer insults with insults. Any emotional reaction here (be it protection or aggression against the manipulator) is already a loss.

2. Move the discussion of a painful topic

An alternative way to save your own nerves is not to avoid a quarrel, but to push it away. Offer to talk later on the pretext that you are not ready to discuss. Firstly, you will gain time to comprehend the situation, and secondly, the passions in the head and heart of your interlocutor will subside.

3. Change the direction of the conversation

When you feel provocative from a counterpart, remember what work result you are focusing on. Focus not on insults, but on specific work tasks. Move the conversation in a constructive direction, ignoring attempts to tease you.

If you can’t discuss a particular situation, shift the focus to another work task. In addition, you can smooth out a sharp corner by translating everything into a painless cute joke.

4. Refuse to defend your point of view

When the conflict is caused by disagreements that are not fundamental, take the first step and make concessions. Remember that sometimes a bad peace is better than a good quarrel. By agreeing to a compromise or allowing a person to win, you do not humiliate yourself in any way, but show professional flexibility.

The rules of ethics and elementary respect also help to avoid a conflict situation. The less you criticize the person behind their back and gossip, the less chance there is of a quarrel. For the same reason, refuse familiar communication and respect the boundaries of someone else's space.

If you notice that dissatisfaction is accumulating in you about some work issue, discuss the problem with your superiors so that the irritation does not develop into a major conflict. Finally, keep in mind that many business quarrels are related to improper performance of duties, so strive to be a responsible and conscientious employee.

How to resolve conflict - strategies for behavior in a conflict situation

There are a large number of verbal techniques that will help you reflect the opponent's arguments, bring down his emotional mood and call to reason:

1. Sniper technique

Pretend that you did not hear this or that provocative remark or direct insult. Indifferently ask again so that the opponent is completely confused, or reformulates his words, realizing their impoliteness.

2. Heart to heart talk

This strategy is directly related to understanding the feelings and thoughts of the enemy. During the discussion, use the phrases “I heard you” and “I understand you” to show that you are partly on the side of the opponent and are aware of his emotional state. For the same purpose, use the pronoun "we", demonstrating that you and your interlocutor are in the same social group.

3. Question and answer technique

Feel free to ask if you do not understand what the essence of the conflict is. Specify the position and motivation of the opponent. We often think that people act out of spite, and they do not even know how their behavior looks from the outside. Interrogative intonation in a conflict is better than accusatory, as it is neutral and emphasizes your interest.

Ask questions, because this is how you build a dialogue on trust and understanding, especially if you say “why did you decide to do this?”, “Sorry, what do you mean?” or “help me understand the situation?”.

4. Consent and apology

If you are not ready to admit mistakes and do not consider yourself wrong, start counterarguments with agreement, using the “yes, but” construction to calm the interlocutor. You can replace "but" with "and" so as not to belittle the opponent's ideas and thoughts.

The aggressor and the victim are equally responsible for the development of the conflict. You can apologize for your role in the quarrel by expressing regret. These words do not mean guilt, but they speak of taking responsibility for the situation. But what you definitely don’t need is to demand an apology from the other person.

5. Modeling situations

If you see flaws in the ideas of the interlocutor, do not talk about it right away, but make them hypothetical. For example, the phrase “your project will not work because you did not take into account the interests of the target audience” is changed to a hypothetical question: “how will we sell this product, from your point of view?”. In this way, you not only express direct participation in the discussion, but also give a chance to explain.

How to get out of a conflict situation

1. Find common ground

Regardless of what the essence of the contradictions lies, people always have something in common. It can be work goals in the company, personal motivation, emerging emotions or thoughts. Focus on being close to your opponent. Having reached agreement on one thing, you will come to an advantageous solution in any matter.

To iron out differences, refrain from using the words "never" or "always" when referring to a complaint. The phrase "sometimes you make mistakes" sounds nicer than "you always make mistakes."

2. Remember that experiences should not give themselves outwardly.

Maintaining control over the situation is easier when you radiate confidence and calm: gestures, postures and facial expressions. Keep your back straight, do not cross your arms and legs, do not raise your voice, speech should be measured.

Don't speak fast and loud because you have less time to think about words. Of course, no physical violence is allowed.

3. Engage a third party

Some conflicts at work can be resolved by an HR specialist. He will appoint a member of staff to mediate or encourage both parties to have a constructive dialogue on the case.

The main thing is that an outsider does not try to push the conflicting people to a specific solution, but gives them the opportunity to independently find a way out of the situation.