How men beat women. What will happen to the children? Prejudice against women

31.05.2019

Domestic violence, unfortunately, is not uncommon. A man who raises his hand to his wife or lover cannot surprise anyone. Many ladies carefully hide the fact of beatings, ashamed of public opinion. As a result, the problem is not solved, because of the painful situation in the family, not only adults but also children suffer. To understand what to do for a woman who is a victim of domestic violence, you need to get an answer to the question why men beat women, what pushes them to hurt the one whom they promised to love and protect?

When you can no longer help

Before passing a "judgment" to men who offend unfortunate women, it is worth figuring out what drives them to physical aggression. According to the famous psychotherapist Virginia Satir, it is necessary to clearly distinguish between cases when beatings occur constantly, or aggression was only a single manifestation.

In the first case, we can talk about serious mental or behavioral disorders, while in the second situation, everything is not so simple. Unfortunately, no one teaches modern girls. As a result, many women jump out to marry literally the first person they meet, and a few months after marriage they find out what kind of person their husband is. Although very often, even before the wedding, you can identify the strangeness of behavior. For example, many, but not all, peep into other people's windows or start a new day with a glass of vodka.

The most common reasons why men beat women are as follows:

A state of alcoholic intoxication, when the habitual restraint dissolves under the influence of alcohol, and all restrained resentments and discontent burst out.
Chronic alcoholism, which leads to personality degradation, as a result of which a person's value system is completely destroyed.
Mental illness, when even a psychiatrist cannot always help.

In all three cases, a woman should think about whether it is worth staying in the family, or whether she needs to save herself and her children from a person who can no longer be helped. A very common mistake is the tendency of many girls to self-sacrifice.

As a result, they decide to save their loved one, and often lose health, if not life. At present, there are anti-crisis centers for victims of domestic violence in many cities, where women can turn for help.

Why do men beat women? He beats, so he loves?

Another reason why many men beat women is banal jealousy. In this case, the beatings will not be permanent. As a rule, a girl herself can provoke a man to show aggression, giving him a reason for jealousy. Please note that contrary to the well-known proverb, beatings do not at all speak of passionate love. They testify to the mental pain that a man cannot cope with.
Somewhere a person can be understood. If the victim of male rudeness remembers what she felt at the moment when she was jealous of her chosen one for a friend or a random stranger, it will become clear to her why her husband did not raise her hand. If the situation repeats itself constantly, and there is no real reason to be jealous, the woman must choose whether to try or leave. If you really want to maintain the relationship, you will have to completely rethink the way you communicate with your spouse. And if you have doubts that you need this person, think?

"Am I a man, or not a man?"

According to the famous psychologist E. Tsvetkov, the long battle of women for gender equality ended in complete victory. In modern society, men are deprived of the opportunity to occupy the leading positions for which they were born. Physical aggression is, in fact, the only way to prove your worth and power over a woman.

This point of view can hardly be considered an answer to the question, why do men beat women. A reasonable person, instead of asserting himself at the expense of his partner's weakness, will rather try and create an environment in the family where no one will have to defend their superiority. And if a woman can help her chosen one in this, that's just fine!

Another reason for bouts of aggression can be an attempt at rude or humiliating control by a woman or girl. Representatives of the beautiful half of humanity can behave as if a man must constantly fulfill their whims. It also happens that a gentle creature begins to demonstrate its superiority in the most vulgar way, which many men, in principle, cannot stand.

Fortunately, not everyone solves this problem with aggression. But at the same time, do not forget that your constant dissatisfaction with your husband belongs to the main ones. Perhaps the fact that he raised his hand to you speaks of his despair. A normal man will not be able to live with a woman for a long time, because of whom he loses control over his own emotions. Maybe you should change your usual way of behavior?

You are the one to blame?

As you can see from the above examples, the answer to the question of why a man beats a woman is almost never unambiguous. Could it be that the woman herself is the cause of physical aggression directed at her? Yes, it happens, and quite often. At first , this is the eternal position of the victim. A girl who considers herself worthless admits that she can be treated rudely. She needs to go through psychological work to gain self-confidence.

Otherwise, any man with whom life brings her will behave aggressively. Secondly , the cause of a blow or constant beatings can be a completely inappropriate behavior of a lady, when it is not possible to bring her to her senses in any other way. The third reason there may be deliberate infliction of mental pain: insults, rudeness and slander.
Dear women, if you want a man to treat you with respect and under no circumstances allow himself to raise a hand on you, think not only about how bad he is, but also about how to make your relationship better and more sincere. Is there something in your behavior that puts you in jeopardy?

In conclusion, I would like to say that isolated cases of domestic violence are always signals of family trouble. To understand why men beat women, and to stop it, it is necessary for the spouses to sit down and figure out what prevents them from living in perfect harmony. And then you will need to completely change the relationship so that the need to hurt each other disappears once and for all.

Prepared by: psychologist-consultant (Moscow, Russian State University for the Humanities)

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The feminization of society, the mixing of gender roles has led to the fact that it is already difficult to surprise someone with a woman bodybuilder, a woman politician, a woman businessman and a man-nanny, a man-make-up artist. Some women behave more like men than women, and vice versa. Rough, manly women and soft, feminine men no longer cause surprise, as it would have been even fifty years ago.

The "masculine" behavior of women and the "feminine" behavior of men led not only to the universalization of social roles, but also gave rise to problems that did not exist before or they existed on a much smaller scale.

One of these problems is physical violence against a man by a woman. After society moved away from the domestic order, male violence was always discussed and condemned. Times have changed - and there was female violence. Unfortunately, despite its widespread distribution and grave consequences (more on that below), it remains, as it were, “behind the scenes”.

According to numerous researchers, domestic violence is not at all the lot of only marginal segments of the population. It has been proven that violence is more common in the families of drug addicts or alcohol abusers. But even in the most prosperous strata of society, domestic violence cannot be avoided.

The division of public opinion on the seemingly one phenomenon - domestic violence is quite surprising. Any violence is disgusting and unacceptable. But if we are talking about a man hitting a woman (no matter for what reason), then the man is unambiguously censured. However, one has only to say about violence by a woman, then the reaction is exactly the opposite: "So, there is a reason." Sometimes they express compassion to the culprit: "A bastard man, brought a woman to assault!" Almost from Fonvizin: "I feel sorry for my mother, she is tired, beating the priest." Sometimes they add: "Who is this man who allows beatings from a weak woman?"

The result is a situation with two mutually exclusive conclusions. The man is to blame for male violence. In the opinion of such people ... the man is also to blame for female violence!

However, if we go to the facts, then, apart from divorce, a man actually has no legal (I emphasize - legal) measures to counteract his raging wife. To endure and reassure yourself that no one has died of slaps in the face means encouraging female violence and completely dropping oneself both in the eyes of relatives and in the eyes of strangers (colleagues, acquaintances). We are no longer talking about the violation of civil rights. Defend and strike back? This is exactly the same notorious "male violence". Moreover, this will give the spouse the opportunity to report you to law enforcement, showing bruises. You will never prove that you inflicted them in defense. In addition, arranging a daily boxing ring at home is perhaps even worse than ending a relationship once. You yourself should declare to the law enforcement agencies? I'm afraid that such complaints from men there will be treated with irony. There remains only divorce, which most often deprives men not only of their spouses, but also of their children.

Often, when discussing this issue, one hears statements that a man can grab a woman and prevent her from fighting. To this I give an example: one of my acquaintances did just that. When his wife - a very jealous, suspicious lady with a very unbalanced character - threw herself at him with fists, he firmly took her by the arms and legs (she fought not only with her fists, but also with her legs) and did not allow punches. She fought and wriggled, tried to break free, growled and screeched, but could not do anything - her husband was stronger. She came up with another way to "take revenge" for the inability to fight - after each such episode, she went to the police and showed bruises on her legs and wrists, claiming that her husband "immobilizes and beats her." The true origin of the bruises is understandable - in order to keep a woman struggling in hysterics, you need to hold her very tightly. However, constant complaints to law enforcement agencies and public opinion regarding domestic violence turned everything upside down: the husband became a rapist, the wife became a victim. He had problems at work due to constant “signals” and pressure from public opinion. Needless to say, how people who did not know the true state of affairs treated him? The woman, even after the divorce, regularly threw tantrums according to the same scenario - on the street, with mutual acquaintances.

To me, this behavior reminds me of a hare, intoxicated by permissiveness, who picks up a wolf, but when the gray, in the end, grabs it across the throat, begins to yell: "The weak are beaten!"

This is the legal side. As for the factual side, not everything is smooth here either. Very often one has to face indignant exclamations: “Well, what can a small, fragile woman do to a big man? Well, it will spank, so what? "

First, violence itself degrades human dignity, regardless of gender. When a man is beaten, it is as unpleasant as for a beaten woman. Secondly, this approach is very superficial, emotional and more like hysteria. The facts, however, speak of something else entirely. If we turn to medical records (medical records of men who received a criminal injury), it turns out that female violence against a “big, rough hairy man” is not a myth at all. And women's physical weakness is almost irrelevant here. And here are the facts themselves (obtained from the analysis of the aforementioned medical documentation):

1. Group crime, when a woman engages in violence "helpers" who are holding a man.

2. Women in some cases are physically stronger than men. This applies to athletes, especially those who are engaged in wrestling. Moreover, there are times when a slender man and a large, physically strong woman make up a couple. In these situations, physical strength is not on the side of the man.

3. The use by a woman of a weapon or weapon, which equalizes the forces of the parties, and sometimes gives the woman a significant advantage (knife, ax, firearm). By the way, according to the US Department of Justice, women are 2.5 times more likely to use a knife as a tool of violence and are 2 times more likely to injure men with a knife and heavy objects during domestic quarrels than men.

4. Using the state of a man when he cannot resist. Most often these are injuries and injuries received in a dream.

5. Physical violence against men who are in one way or another depending on women. For example, over a disabled person with whom a female criminal lives (cohabitant, wife).

I will give one example from each item. All these cases (or rather, their consequences) I had the misfortune either to observe with my own eyes in the hospital, or to learn from the medical history.

The woman, suspecting her boyfriend of infidelity, asked her ex-boyfriend to help her. While the ex-fiance was holding the guy, the girl beat him with her hands and feet. After the beating, the young man called an ambulance, but, having learned that there were no serious injuries, he refused hospitalization.

A woman candidate for master of sports in hand-to-hand combat, without using weapons, tools or any object, inflicted moderate bodily harm on her boyfriend (school history teacher) (fracture of the lower jaw, nose bones and several ribs).

Using a knife, the woman inflicted three stab wounds on her husband. Both spouses at this moment were not in a state of passion or intoxication. The crime was committed prudently and in cold blood.

The woman poured sulfuric acid on her sleeping husband. The result was a grade III-IV chemical burn (exposure of the skull bones), mainly affecting the face, neck, and chest. The man went blind and lost most of his eyelids, lips, nose, forehead, and cheeks. Premeditated crime, where there is no need to talk about affect.

The woman lived with her disabled husband and did not work anywhere. When her husband received a pension, she immediately took it away and drank it. The criminal committed beatings several times a day, and in a drunken state she beat her husband in a wheelchair with bottles, shoes and other objects. Once, having hit her husband with a metal pot, she inflicted a brain injury.

Chemical burns in the general statistics of injuries and injuries (especially criminal) are an infrequent phenomenon. It is much easier to stab a person with a knife than to prepare a chemical reagent and look for a case to successfully use it. However, looking through my records regarding chemical burns, I come across an interesting statistic: half of the criminal chemical burns registered in Ryazan for the period 1999-2002 were inflicted by women on men. By the way, the second half was inflicted by women on women (several cases repeated). All of them affected the face, were very difficult and left behind a lasting disfigurement of the face, visual impairment of one degree or another, up to blindness.

Medical records show that the use of a man's condition when he cannot resist is not at all limited to isolated cases. This includes not only chemical burns, but also stab wounds, sometimes with the amputation of various parts of the body.

At the same time, many criminal cases of this kind are known. Here is some of them:

World famous deed committed by Lorena Bobbit (cut off her sleeping husband's penis). She argued that this action was caused by violence by her husband, which, however, was not proven in court. On the other hand, Lorena was acquitted due to her husband's confused testimony and strong pressure on the court from feminist organizations.

On January 13, 2010, a resident of Belarus, after her husband went to bed, stabbed him several times and cut off his penis.

A similar crime was committed by the Chinese woman Yao Fengfang and the resident of Belgium Suzanne Lumen.

These crimes were committed against the background of suspicions of the man's infidelity, his drunkenness. However, lynching, and even ending with murder or grievous bodily harm, is prohibited by the legislation of most (if not all) countries. I'm sure anyone would be outraged if men punished their unfaithful or drinking wives in the same way. Is this not a confirmation of the unequivocal inadmissibility of violence, be it female or male?

And here is a completely different case of domestic violence against a man. In it, the wife used her position: as a law enforcement officer, she beat her husband - a slender, gentle teetotaler - and threatened him that in case of his complaints he would "sit down." What was the reason for this (except for sadistic inclinations) - it is not clear. By the way, before the wedding, she did not show any signs of aggression. Otherwise, why marry such a person?

These are special cases for illustration. The idea of a man as a "big rough hairy dork" is, to put it mildly, far-fetched, and this thesis reeks of sexism. However, oddly enough, for some reason it is he who is remembered when it comes to the violence of a woman over a man. “This cannot be, because it can never be. Where is it, show us? Women are beaten - yes, we know, they scream, shout, run to relatives, to the police. And about men - no, have not heard. "

It is this phrase that shows the difference between the psychology and the situation of a man and a woman who are victims of domestic violence. A woman much more often than a man draws other people's attention to the fact that she is being beaten. Much more often he complains to relatives, friends, law enforcement agencies, and various public (feminist) organizations. The latter is especially developed abroad. On the woman's side is public opinion, which unequivocally condemns the male aggressor. She is helped by the sex stereotypes that have long developed in society - just about a "weak woman" and "a rude man."

The situation of a man who is the object of violence by a woman is completely opposite. Sexual stereotypes are unequivocally against him: “men don’t complain,” “men don’t suffer,” “men will not tolerate being beaten and humiliated” (although they also cannot defend themselves). And, of course, the classic: "You can't discriminate against a real man!" This is also mixed with the sanctimonious opinion that "they just don't beat them." These stereotypes, according to psychologists and sociologists, mask most of the female violence, reducing statistics to scanty figures. Men, even those who regularly experience domestic violence, are embarrassed to state this, fearing to be ridiculed - "this is not like a man." And, surprisingly, ridiculed by the same men - maybe even by those who themselves receive cuffs from their wife or mother-in-law (yes, there is such a thing!). It is considered the height of shame to admit that you are beaten by a woman. Public opinion tends to keep silent about the problem of female violence, paying attention only to male violence. The law enforcement authorities treat male victims of domestic violence with disdain based on the same public opinion. There are very few organizations defending the rights of men, and they cannot exert such a powerful influence and even pressure on the state of affairs as feminist organizations, especially in the West.

Women's rights are defended by thousands of activists, politicians and officials, but who will defend men's rights?

There is a widely known thesis proclaimed by feminist organizations: almost every woman was humiliated and beaten by a man. The thesis is confirmed only by biased studies with a predetermined result, to which the statistics are adjusted. It is “done” at various departments and faculties of “women's sciences”. A learned affirmation allows women politicians to publicly declare men to be the enemies of humanity. There is a stereotype “if a man is an aggressor, if a man is a rapist”. Its result: anti-family laws, the presumption of guilt of men in almost any litigation with women, discrimination against men and deprivation of part of their civil rights, ignorance of children's rights. The powerlessness of men, broken families, lonely and unhappy women, children raised in single-parent families - and a few feminist politicians who are making a career and forging a coin on someone else's grief.

However, the share of female violence against men in the overall statistics of domestic violence is not at all so small. In particular, according to the US Department of Justice (2000), in the USA for every 15 women beaten by their husbands, there are 8 men beaten by their wives. Agree, this is not at all 95% of women and 5% of men, as claimed by Western feminist organizations. In addition, do not forget that women are 2.5 times more likely to use a knife as a tool of violence and are 2 times more likely to injure men with a knife and heavy objects during domestic quarrels than men.

In Russia, where sex-role behavior is mixed to a lesser extent, 6-10% of husbands are subjected to violence by their wives. For women, this figure is 30%, so the ratio is slightly lower than in the United States - from 1/5 to 1/3. Let me remind you that these data were obtained against the background of the fact that the majority of men are simply afraid to declare violence against themselves, fearing ridicule, as I already wrote above. Yes, the number of women suffering from male violence is higher. But the ratio of the power of public opinion, legal and administrative acts is completely different. If male violence against women causes strong outrage at all levels - from police officers to the president, in some cases reaching man-hating hysteria and radical sexist appeals, the problem of domestic violence against men is only a mockery or, at best, short notes on private Internet blogs. Reports are made on violence against women at the highest levels, hundreds of studies, dissertations, and legal acts are devoted to it. Violence against men, as I wrote in the article "A woman beats a man," remains "behind the scenes." It is hushed up, despite the real existence of the problem.

On the topic of family (domestic) violence, I studied more than 30 works of various levels: from abstracts in collections of works to monographs (the latter prevail). Selected works based on the criterion of gender neutrality of the title (without the word "woman" or "man"). I was quite surprised that in all these works, domestic violence is identified exclusively with violence by men against women and children. I have not found a single work where, along with male violence, female violence would be touched upon. As if such a phenomenon simply does not exist, or a strict taboo has been imposed on its discussion! If you are holding a book called Domestic Violence in your hands, then rest assured that it will only talk about violence against women. The established stereotype of the "big rough hairy dork" is doing its job, despite the real state of affairs, confirmed by a lot of examples and statistics. I am sure that every person among their acquaintances has at least one man who is beaten or tried to be beaten by his spouse (not to mention psychological humiliation and pressure).

To be fair, I must say that in the West, where, apparently, this problem is more acute, attempts are being made to influence the situation. At least, if not legislatively (closer attention to violence against men by law enforcement agencies - by analogy with violence against women), then at least socially and psychologically. Psychological support centers for men who have suffered from domestic violence are being created, for example, the Former Husbands Club in London, Internet sites are emerging where men can pour out their hearts. Of course, this will not help much, because after a "frank conversation" a man will have to return to the same family where he suffers violence. Or get divorced. By the way, in Russia there are more than 40 crisis centers for women subjected to violence. There, any woman can receive a full range of assistance, from overnight accommodation to an experienced lawyer who will represent her interests in court. And everything is free! Meanwhile, there are no such centers for men (with the exception of a couple of small ones, in small towns in Siberia). He has nowhere to go for help. And nowhere to hide from the criminal. Although, there is still. Beer. Heating main. Enjoy patriarchy, privileged lord!

Alexander Biryukov

Why does a man beat a woman? Today, unfortunately, domestic violence is not extraordinary. Although on television you can often hear about the domestic violence of husbands against their wives or boyfriends against their girlfriends, etc., nevertheless, most women try to “do not wash dirty linen in public” fearing publicity and being ashamed of the opinions of others.

But leaving the actions of men unpunished, the woman will continue to suffer, in addition, children can fall under the hot hand. Before deciding what to do for women who have been victims of violence, it is necessary to understand why men raise their hand against women.

Male aggression against women

Why a man beats a woman is not a new problem, but it does not cease to be relevant. Many psychologists believe that it is necessary to distinguish between two types of aggression towards women.

The first is the beatings that a man commits on an ongoing basis, this option speaks of serious behavioral or psychological problems.

The second option is the aggression of a man towards a woman in isolated cases. Most often, a man shows aggression towards a woman in the following moments:

With strong or narcotic intoxication, when under the influence of alcohol, barriers are erased and the man throws out the accumulated resentment against the woman;
As a result of chronic, when the personality has degraded and value orientations have been lost;
With psychological illnesses, when a man has bouts of aggression, which he is unable to control.

The reasons why a man beats a woman

First reason- this is weakness and even cowardice of a man. This trait of a man's character can manifest itself during serious family problems, such as a difficult financial situation, problems at work, etc. And sometimes a man, instead of solving problems during a conversation, somewhere to admit his guilt, resorts to assault. This problem can be solved during a joint visit to a family psychologist, but quite often such offers from women provoke new beatings.

The second reason- this is the circumstance that a man does not love his other half, life with her has become unbearable, he ceases to appreciate her, and children or other circumstances interfere with breaking the relationship. In the end, a man, by beating a woman, shows his true attitude towards her. In such a case, it is almost impossible to establish and the only way out is to break off relations or tolerate a similar attitude towards oneself.

Third reason, banal jealousy, a man who suspects his woman of treason or is simply afraid of losing her, often raises his hand against the woman, as if letting her know that he is in charge here, and she belongs to him. Such aggression is manifested mainly not periodically and, as a rule, it is caused by the woman herself, giving rise to or losing interest in her man, although sometimes male jealousy may be unfounded.

Fourth reason- this is a desire to show your authority, your power over her. In the modern world, the role of women has greatly increased, many key posts that only men could hold twenty years ago, now they can be freely occupied by women. For example, the position of the Minister of Defense or the director of a large organization, etc. At the same time, the role and indispensability of men fell. And now the application to a woman is one of the ways for a man to prove his superiority over her. Although this reason is not correct to consider the answer to the question why men beat women, since an adequate man should not assert himself on the physical weakness of women, but for example, get a decent male profession.

Fifth reason the use of aggression against a woman lies in the fact that he considers this to be normal. The roots of this behavior in relation to women lie in childhood, even as a child, a man could see scenes of his mother beating his father, or he himself often became a victim of beatings, and thus in his subconsciousness it was laid that this was right. This reason is one of the most difficult to eliminate, because the basic values obtained in childhood are very difficult to change.

Sixth reason, lies in the woman herself. The fact is, some girls position themselves as incapable of anything or become very attached to a man and are afraid of losing him, that they allow the use of brute force against themselves and lose self-respect. For this situation, a woman needs to gain self-confidence, to show that she can do without a man.

But there is also the opposite situation, sometimes women cause attacks of aggression in men with all sorts of reproaches, underwear, etc. For example, a daily reminder that she has a large salary compared to her husband, or that he is worthless and in vain she contacted him. As a result, the accumulated resentment can spill out into the beating of a woman. The recommendation for this reason is the respectful attitude of a woman to her man.

In conclusion, I would like to note that, fortunately, not all couples solve various problems using force. The main reasons for this problem are:

Weakness and cowardice, a man who is not able to solve family problems and takes out his aggression on his wife, girlfriend, etc.
The man ceases to like his other half, but a variety of circumstances interfere with parting and through beatings he shows her his attitude;
A man who is jealous of his woman is often able to apply aggression to her, thereby showing that she belongs to him.
Show your superiority through physical dominance over a woman;
The position of the woman herself, who either neglects her man or, on the contrary, treats him too anxiously.

In general, a relationship in which physical aggression is used against a partner cannot be considered successful. The problem of beatings can be solved only by finding out what is the reason for them. And to identify the cause and try to solve it, a man and a woman can only in the course of a frank conversation between them.

Domestic violence is a fairly common problem that, unfortunately, is usually hushed up. Nevertheless, situations in which men beat women cannot be ignored. Why it happens? What is the possible way out of such situations?

Family traditions"

The reason why men beat women should be sought in childhood. It's not for nothing that they say that everything comes from the family. Most men who are prone to assault have witnessed this behavior in childhood. Perhaps the man's mother was beaten for a tasteless dinner, dust on the bedside table, or long gatherings with her friends. It is possible that in childhood the "aggressor" himself got it.

Prejudice against women

Unfortunately, a large number of men have developed a bias towards the opposite sex (which may be due to the peculiarities of upbringing or the influence of friends). They consider women to be second-class citizens who are called to remain silent and serve men. Naturally, when a woman shows some kind of activity or begins to defend her rights, this is perceived with hostility.

Complexity and self-doubt

It is important for the stronger sex to demonstrate their authority, consistency and power - this is male psychology. Why does a man beat a woman? Perhaps he has no other means of expressing himself. If at work he is haunted by failures, and his friends do not take him seriously and often ridicule him, this can cause complexes and the accumulation of internal aggression. He takes it out on a woman who is physically weaker and cannot fight back.

Resentment against a woman

There are a lot of psychologists' opinions about why men beat women. In particular, there is a version that the representatives of the stronger sex blame their companions for some life failures and so take out their resentment. For example, a friend got pregnant, the guy had to get married, which entailed some consequences. Perhaps this prevented him from pursuing a dream profession, perhaps he had to give up true love, perhaps an early marriage ruined his travel dreams, and so on. This resentment lives in the head and periodically makes itself felt in the form of attacks of aggression.

Alcohol and drug abuse

The state of alcohol and drug intoxication is one of the main causes of domestic violence. What do psychologists think about this? Why does a man beat a woman when he drinks? It is difficult to give a concrete answer, because alcohol affects it. It is almost impossible to determine what exactly is going on in his head at this moment. But most psychologists agree that in a state of intoxication, a person is liberated and lets out all those negative feelings that he previously suppressed. No wonder they say: "What's on the mind of a sober, then a drunk on the tongue." Well, or on a fist.

Problems in society

Family psychology provides a lot of interesting information. Why does a man beat a woman? The opinion of psychologists makes us pay attention to the social sphere. Perhaps the man has conflicts at work or disagreements with friends. But for some reason, he does not want (or cannot) conflict with the offender. As a result, he brings all the aggression home and takes it out on his wife.

The influence of the stars

Questions like "Why does a Snake man beat a Horse woman?" or "What are Aquarius's reasons for domestic violence?" seem ridiculous. Nevertheless, knowing the features of the signs of the zodiac, you can to some extent predict what kind of situation can cause assault. Here are the main factors of aggression for different zodiac signs:

Aries. This is one of the hottest characters in the zodiacal circle. These people are especially aggressive when they have to do what they don't want to do. Also, Aries cannot stand moral pressure.
Taurus. This is a very benevolent sign, the representatives of which are not so easy to infuriate. But if this has already happened, be prepared for a stormy stream of aggression. The main reasons why a Taurus man beats a woman is humiliation and betrayal.
Twins. Behavior is difficult to predict. A calm person can flare up in a minute. The reason is trying to teach and order.
Cancer. A very gentle and affectionate person. He begins to get angry if close people ignore him, pay little attention, skimp on manifestations of love.
A lion. Loses his temper with or without reason. Any little thing can cause a scandal, it is difficult to predict and foresee an outbreak of aggression.
Virgo. A patient and loving person who can keep negative emotions in himself for a long time. The reason for the aggression can be accumulated resentment about a situation that took place in the past.
Scales. A peace-loving sign that does not tolerate conflicts, tries to avoid them. Outbursts of anger arise from many annoying nuances that build up over a period of time.
Scorpion. An unbalanced person who gets angry and wreaks havoc around. After an annoying situation, he does not react immediately, but carefully plans the course of the conflict.
Sagittarius. A hot-tempered person who can get angry about the most unexpected reason. A careless statement that contradicts a person's views can infuriate him.
Capricorn. Quite calm and flexible, but very strict and demanding person. Indiscipline and irresponsibility can lead him out of himself.
Aquarius. Relaxed and peaceful sign. A senseless dispute "for the sake of a dispute" can infuriate him.
Fishes. Melancholic and peaceful person, who, however, is prone to extremes. He does not like to sort things out, but from offensive injustice they can lose their temper.

Women's mistakes that lead to beatings

There is no justifiable reason why men beat women. Nevertheless, women sometimes make mistakes that can directly or indirectly provoke this situation. Here are the highlights:

Lack of self-esteem and male worship. Sometimes such situations are observed in unequal marriages (when the man is rich and influential), as well as in the case when the woman is panicky afraid to be left alone. As a result, she pleases the gentleman in every possible way, closing her eyes to all his misdeeds. A man begins to feel power over a woman, which first leads to moral, and then to physical violence.
on a man. Women with a strong authoritarian character tend to subjugate others to their will. Constant psychological pressure can cause an outburst of aggression in a man, which can lead to assault.
The role of the victim. Some women truly believe that they deserve everything that happens to them. In particular, they endure beatings, considering them to be punishment from the Universe for some kind of wrongdoing. And if a man is by nature a tyrant, a passive reaction on the part of a woman will provoke him even more.
Waiting for compensation. Surprisingly, some women get beat up because they like the reconciliation phase. Apologies and passionate confessions, a passionate night of love, expensive gifts, they consider worthy compensation.

What to do?

If you are faced with beatings, the main thing is not to be silent or tolerate. You can do the following:

See a family counselor. If the beatings were of a one-time nature, perhaps a specialist will help save the marriage.
Move away from the abuser. Leave home with your parents, friends, neighbors, or the hotel. Do not be left alone with the aggressor.
Get the support of loved ones. The spouse should know that you have protection in the form of friends and family.
Use the helpline. Experts will tell you how to act for women who find themselves without support.
Contact the police. A man should be punished for assault.

To forgive or not to forgive?

Whatever the answer to the question of why a man beats his beloved woman, the attitude towards such behavior should be extremely negative. But oddly enough, many women who face domestic violence forgive the tyrant in the home, continue their life together and endure periodic attacks. There may be several reasons for this phenomenon:

"If he hits, it means he loves." Some women justify the aggression of their spouse with this folk wisdom.
Material dependence. If a woman does not have her own home or source of funds, she may prefer to endure beatings than go on a "sailing by herself."
Waiting for change. Many women believe that they will be able to re-educate their faithful.
A pity. Some ladies think that a man will disappear without them, and continue to sacrifice themselves.

What do psychologists say about this? If the beatings are of a regular, repetitive nature, there can be no talk of forgiveness and hope for change. This is an established habit, lifestyle, or even a mental illness. A woman should think about her safety.

If the assault was one-off, it is worth analyzing the situation. What was the reason? Perhaps, with words or actions, you brought a man to white heat? If there were no provocations on your part, this is already a wake-up call. Don't wait for the man to hit you again.

How to spot a potential brawler

You can talk a lot about why men beat women, but it's better never to face it, because the consequences can be the most dire, even death. Therefore, even at the initial stage of a relationship, you need to take a closer look at a man. A potential brawler can be recognized by the following signs:

Constant dissatisfaction. If a man is constantly annoyed by the world around him (passers-by, the weather, the color of tablecloths in a restaurant, and so on), sooner or later his irritation can spread to you.
Physical impact. In the early stages of a relationship, men rarely dare to hit a woman. But there may be other methods of physical influence. In a fit of aggression, he can squeeze your hand to pain, push or roughly drag you along. All these are alarm bells.
Obsessive jealousy. If the gentleman openly controls you, shows distrust and makes a tragedy out of any of your contacts with the opposite sex, later this can develop into bouts of aggression.
Striving for dominance. Powerful men are often prone to aggression. If a gentleman tries to command you, he can raise his voice in private or in public, this should alert you.
Threats. If, in a fit of anger, a man threatens you with physical harm and may even swing, it is possible that sooner or later he will implement his threats. Also, at an early stage in a relationship, you should think about why a man hits a woman in the butt. Is this a manifestation of flirting and passion or hidden aggression?
Alcohol abuse. The drunk person is unpredictable. Especially if he takes alcohol with enviable consistency.

Family abuse and assault is a sensitive topic. Many women, when faced with psychological aggression or physical violence from their beloved, try to hide this fact. However, hushing up such a serious problem will not lead to anything good. Why does a man insult and beat his woman: what is the psychology of a tyrant? Let's talk about this.

Your relationship with your beloved is harmonious, and you are sure that you have found true happiness, but suddenly the unexpected happens - instead of words of love, the partner begins to insult you, be rude and shout. Why did it happen? Relationship psychology is a complex science, in any situation there are nuances, but if a man insults a woman, then you definitely should not endure it. You need to find the reason for the change in his behavior and try to restore the former harmony. If you fail to do this, end the relationship, because insults and humiliation are often harbingers of assault. In addition, constant stress can provoke prolonged depression.

The psychology of the sexes is very different, so many women find it difficult to understand why a man insults his woman. In most cases, this is how the husband wants to establish himself at the expense of his wife. As a rule, the “house tyrant” cannot boast of significant achievements in life, but strives to be the “leader of the pack”. Men with complexes psychologically try to "crush" his wife, attacks arise when the husband feels that his wife is in many ways superior to him. With the help of humiliation, a man tries to make his beloved insecure, to lower her self-esteem. This also happens when the gentleman is afraid of losing his companion.

Important! The psychology of a tyrant's actions can have many reasons, you need to think not about why a man humiliates and insults a woman, but how to solve this problem and whether it is worth holding on to this relationship at all.

There is no need to endure humiliation. Try to talk to your beloved, but if this does not work, leave. If psychological aggression is familiar to you firsthand, and a child is growing up in your family, then you need not look for an answer to the question of why a man yells at a woman, but urgently protect the baby from conflicts, psychology knows many cases when the situation repeats itself. That is, if a boy sees how his father regularly humiliates his mother, he can adopt this behavior in relation to his wife in the future. A girl from a family where her mother suffers humiliation often believes that this is the psychology of all representatives of the stronger sex, and the question does not even occur to her why a man is rude to a woman and whether it is right. Why spoil the life of yourself and your child?

A man beats a woman

"Hits means loves" - there is nothing more absurd than this famous phrase. The psychology of more than one generation of the fair sex was formed on this phrase, many still believe that if a man raised his hand to his woman, then there is nothing wrong with that. The victim can hear from acquaintances "It is her own fault", "Be patient" and many other things, so many girls hide the fact that the partner allows himself to be assaulted. This is an abnormal situation, in most cases the problem can be solved only by breaking off the relationship, but there are exceptions. For example, if a man does not beat a woman regularly, but only once raised his hand in a quarrel, being at the peak of emotions: female psychology is such that they are ready to forgive the misdeeds of their loved ones, if they have an explanation.

Important! Before you forgive a hit, slap or push, make sure that your partner is truly genuinely repentant and understands that such a situation cannot happen again a priori.

Relationship psychology describes many reasons why a man hits a woman. Assault, as a rule, is allowed by insecure, notorious representatives of the stronger sex, but sometimes successful men also “relieve irritation” in this way. If a boy saw domestic violence in childhood, then as an adult, he can copy the behavior of his father. Psychology cannot answer the question of why a man raises his hand against a woman when the origins of the problem lie in another area: for example, alcohol and drug addicts, persons with mental disorders are prone to assault.

Attention! At the dawn of a relationship with a partner, many girls allow him, as it were, to jokingly say hurtful words in his address, to jokingly demonstrate physical strength. This is a big mistake, the joke can later develop into real aggression.