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Why do women cheat? How to know if my girlfriend or wife is cheating on me. The menstrual cycle becomes erratic

Date: 18.01.2018

Content

Once upon a time there was a family. It arose when two people consciously decided to join their destinies in order to continue going through life "hand in hand."

Spouses - a word meaning that people follow fate in one team, jointly pulling out a load of household, material and problems related to raising children. The life of the union is colored by general impressions and memories of memorable dates and victories achieved (purchase of housing and household belongings, education of children, family vacations, holidays).

For children born in this family, mom and dad are two pillars on which their entire biography, attitude and sense of security are based.

And suddenly ... The union of two people turned out to be fragile. Adultery of one of the partners destroyed him, and the "infallible half" of the family felt the unsteadiness of the ground under their feet, hard going through betrayal.

Age of betrayal


According to British researchers, infidelity is least common among spouses aged 18-25.

Early marriages between persons who have not reached the official majority are often made out of curiosity and a desire for independence, the same curiosity pushes young people on the path of betrayal. Marriage is perceived by them as a burden that prevents self-assertion. But according to statistics, loyalty and treason are equally recorded among early-maturing newlyweds.

The first 7 years of marriage give the greatest number of betrayals and - the process of creating a family is not easy for many.

After 40 years, both sexes give increasing numbers of adultery.

American researchers note the magic of round dates - the peak of betrayal falls on the 30th, 40th and 50th year of life. The explanation for this is simple - the transition to an older age category scares people with the approach of old age and the associated fear of loss of attractiveness and sexuality. We must be in time! And morality is pushed aside. This is a midlife crisis.

Reasons for male infidelity


Men closer to 50 years old are worried about a decrease in potency. In this physiological process, they are ready to blame aged wives - they do not excite, do not attract. I would like to confirm my capabilities with younger women. Hence - "gray hair in the beard, devil in the rib." How can a hen in a worn-out dressing gown, a grouch, always preoccupied with everyday problems, compete with a well-groomed slender new girlfriend!

And free women are a dime a dozen, especially in our country, where for a hundred years men have been exterminated in wars. For example, according to the Federal State Statistics Service, during the Great Patriotic War, when there were losses of the military and civilian population of the country, 19.5 million men died, and women - 6 million. What can we say about those wars in which only conscript soldiers.

Alcoholism also mows down mainly the male population.

Work-related injuries are much more common among men.

According to Rosstat, as of January 1, 2017, the number of women, starting from the age of 30-34, exceeds the number of men. By the age of 60, the ratio of women to men is nearly 1.6. With a penchant for adventurism, there is an opportunity to roam! Self-esteem rises, love affair diversifies the gray everyday life.

Moreover, with a noticeable social status, with an academic degree or a successful business, even an old man in his advanced years can count on the favor of very young beauties. The old womanizer is sincerely sure that he arouses love in the heart of his chosen one. Although correctly noted - girls do not fall in love with elderly plumbers.

Why is my wife cheating?



Cheating on the wife is caused by resentment in response to the adventures of the husband. This is her revenge for betrayal, infidelity. This reason for adultery occurs at any age. It is difficult to say how equivalent such revenge is - after all, a husband, carried away by a new relationship, may not be interested in his wife's suffering. However, if such a move turns out to be saving for her pride, then why not resort to it. But the family is unlikely to become stronger from attracting new participants to the conflict.

Cheating women in their 40s has its own reasons.

The main reasons for female infidelity

A wife's betrayal to her husband is the result of many circumstances:

  1. By the age of forty, after an endless series of household chores for a woman, new horizons begin to flash:
  • children grow up and the need for their constant guardianship disappears;
  • time is freed, part of the worries can be shifted to matured children;
  • career ascent is still possible, but it will happen by inertia from earlier efforts - you can look back and praise yourself for the results achieved;
  • occurs, the risk of unwanted pregnancy decreases.


At the same time, some nuances of personal life are alarming:

  • reflection in the mirror (the appearance of wrinkles in the eyes, deep nasolabial folds) hints at;
  • the husband performs his marital duties as usual, without "unnecessary" emotions, and yet he once ardently declared his love.

Anxiety arises: really? Need to check. Colleagues, neighbors, acquaintances - do they see me as a woman? I would like to hear compliments.

  1. The long-term routine of family relationships brings less joy. Family responsibilities have long been assigned. A woman is usually assigned a monotonous daily function: cleaning, cooking, washing and caring for clothes; it takes a lot of effort, but loved ones often do not notice such things.
  2. Intimate conversations with my husband are in the past - everything has already been discussed a hundred times. Both have no interest in the affairs of the second half. Chronically there is not enough attention and participation. According to statistics, 81% of women in a love affair on the side are looking not for sexual adventures, but for the trust and friendship of their lover.
  3. There is another bad tradition in many families - rudeness. Many believe that there is nothing to stand on ceremony in the family and you can answer questions, keep silent or, conversely, order. Continuing this behavior is the habit of making fun of your spouse in public. Alienation and the need to find a soul mate on the side gradually grows.

In a crisis period of life, a woman feels insecure. Children and family do not get rid of the feeling of inner loneliness. And if there is also a seducer nearby ...

How to recognize cheating

In a family based on trust, adultery is not immediately revealed. The deceived spouse remains in the dark for a long time, because he does not allow the thought of the partner's entertainment "on the side", even if the facts of adultery are obvious.

Typical signs of cheating


Over the years of family life, the couple studied each other well, but suddenly new nuances appeared in the habits of one of them:

  1. Unexpected workaholism - the second half begins to stay late at work, explaining this by hands-on jobs, meetings, overtime work; suddenly there are business trips for several days, which was not the case before.
  2. Changes in appearance. The spouse wakes up interest in wardrobe, new clothes; legibility appears in the quality and aesthetics of the underwear. Women with b aboutwith great zeal, they take care of the skin of the face and body. There is a need for a long study of your figure in the mirror.
  3. Craving for perfume. Requests are changing - before leaving the house you need an expensive high-quality perfume.
  4. Emotional uplift. A mysterious expression appears on the face; good mood is given by humming popular melodies.
  5. The mobile phone is specially guarded, SMS and information about calls are carefully erased. Any phone call causes mild panic. New passwords are set on the computer.
  6. Household chores and school success for children become uninteresting.
  7. The plans of the second spouse for the evening are meticulously clarified in order to build a plausible legend about his absence.
  8. Numerous claims appear against the legal spouse. It turns out that his habits have been annoying for a long time, tired of putting up with them, patience is running out.
  9. Sexual attraction to a partner is noticeably cooling, and new excuses are found.
  10. From time to time there is talk about the fact that they are also tired of having a rest during their holidays. Are looking for options for a separate pastime.
  11. In the family budget there are inexplicable "black holes" for buying gifts for the subject of a new hobby.

The most shocking evidence is infection with a sexually transmitted disease.

And if this is love?


Cheating is difficult. Adultery through the eyes of a rejected spouse is a vile betrayal, in the interpretation of the hero-lover and his entourage - a novel. He or she is having an affair! There is:

  • an introduction in the form of an acquaintance;
  • intrigue of different duration with explanations, expectations, glances, calls and correspondence;
  • culmination - secret dates, intimacy;
  • denouement - the extinction of interest or an explanation with the legal half and the creation of a new family.

A real romance! The interest in life has returned, the blood has begun to play, fantasies come true. I would like to make bold plans for the future.

Divorce

One cannot discount such a development of events when a spouse ends a partnership at one hearth and creates a new one with a dream of family happiness. What to do? Hold him back with magic or public censure? How to endure such a blow to self-esteem? Advisors from among family and friends give diametrically opposite advice, whom to listen to?

Former spouses still need to find the courage to talk to each other and discuss all issues, trying to do without unnecessary accusations. Two people started a family, they are both to blame for the fact that the union broke up. We must try to complete the breakup without causing any unnecessary mental pain.

How to keep your family together


It often happens that the "romance" turns out to be a temporary episode. Spouses are tied together by common children, property, habits. Both do not want to radically change their lives. But the fact of treason is obvious, it has already been discussed by all acquaintances. To the personal resentment of the "victim" is added the unwillingness to be branded a "sucker" in public opinion. A passing hobby creates big problems, sometimes for many years to come.

Statistics say: at least once in a lifetime, every second woman and 60-75% of men change. This means that many are familiar with the situation of treason. Don't dramatize it. The culprits in most cases feel remorse and themselves suffer from the fact that they could not resist the temptation.

True, a significant number of men and some women do not see a great offense in their love adventures - they simply succumbed to circumstances, but they did not intend to destroy the family. Selfish natures, seeking to get as much pleasure from life as possible, do not consider the feelings of other people. But, if such a person turned out to be a legal spouse, it means that once his narcissism did not become an obstacle to entering into a marriage with him. It remains only to put up with such a character.

A marriage of convenience is less likely to encounter problems of family relations than an alliance for passionate love, concluded in the cloudless at first heaven - if the chosen one is characterized by violent emotions, they can also lead him to new hobbies.

From whom to wait for help


In any other household issue, we turn to a specialist in case of difficulty - a doctor, auto mechanic, electrician, and do not try to solve the problem on our own. If the family is on the verge of collapse due to infidelity, the best solution would be to contact a family psychologist. Yes, you have to open your soul to a stranger, tell about the experienced humiliation. But a competent specialist will unbiasedly study the state of affairs, determine the origins of discord, problems of family relations and betrayal, the degree of guilt of each spouse. The main thing is that he will prompt the way out of the impasse. Cheating on a husband or wife can be a mistake, a one-time love affair, and not a crime. Many happy years lived together cannot be crossed out just because one of the spouses has done an ugly act, but very much regrets it.

Family psychology today has extensive practical experience in restoring harmony in relations between spouses. By eliminating misunderstandings, you can work together to strengthen a shaken family union. Let the memories of past betrayal not become a stumbling block in quarrels, but play the role of a signal lamp, which in difficult situations will warn against committing such offenses.

Prevention of cheating


To save yourself from heavy worries about marital infidelity, it is better to adhere to the principles from the first days of family life:

  1. Regardless of how the family was created - because of passionate love, forced or soberly - it takes the trust and mutual respect of the spouses to maintain it.
  2. Quarrels happen in any family, but you cannot accumulate resentments and unpleasant memories. The ability to ask for forgiveness is very useful in marriage.
  3. You cannot humiliate your spouse in private or in the presence of strangers.
  4. Even in the absence of common interests, one must respect the tastes and hobbies of the spouse.
  5. Ordinary and boredom kill marriage. To be interesting to your half as long as possible, you need to improve yourself (oh).
  6. Marriage is not just a common shelter and bed, it is a union of like-minded people, in which care for others comes to the fore.
  7. The family cannot be a battlefield, the family is a quiet haven that consoles and heals the soul after working days.
  8. Moral support and praise should be met within the home walls of every family member.
  9. If you want to make constant claims in the family, then, before ruining an established relationship, every unfaithful spouse should think that his new chosen one also has some flaws that he will have to put up with.

The family is only registered at the registry office, but it is created by the tireless daily work of two loving hearts.

Conventional wisdom says that a woman is by nature a monogamous being, her purpose is to keep the family, give birth and raise children. However, adultery also happens on the part of women. Why do women cheat?

And really - why? It would seem clear that cheating does not contribute to the harmonization of your relationship, but will only confuse them even more, although, perhaps, you will get some temporary satisfaction of your problems. So what pushes women to commit adultery, forcing them to go against their natural destiny to be a wife and a mother?

Why do women cheat on men?

Sometimes female infidelity occurs due to the fact that she begins to receive increased attention from her boss at work.

This happens quite often if the woman is young and beautiful. And it can be very difficult to sacrifice a good position and a high salary, because if a woman does not accept the courtship of her boss, she will only have to quit. Such betrayal can be called forced and, as a rule, it is very burdensome for a woman.

A completely different type of cheating occurs when a woman is looking for a new boyfriend or lover because she cannot satisfy her desire for a luxurious life with you. She dreams of being thrown with flowers and taken to Paris for a weekend, and you give her a stunted rose on weekends and the maximum you can offer is a trip to her grandmother's dacha.

At the same time, she can really love you, but .. She likes Paris more. And there's nothing you can do about it.

Sometimes a woman cheats because she wants to take revenge on you. Perhaps you cheated on her and she harbored a grudge. Or maybe you just aren't giving her the attention she thinks she deserves. As a result, the woman cheated.

· But most often women cheat because you cannot or do not want to satisfy her sexually. Have you ever tried to talk to your woman about this topic? What do you even know about her sexual preferences and fantasies?

Many men would be quite surprised if they knew how much their girlfriends think about sex, where and how they would prefer to do it, and what turns them on. Men do not even think about why a woman herself never approaches them with these proposals. But it is very difficult for her to cross the invisible border and open up. Some husbands don't even think about whether their wife actually had an orgasm or was just faking it.

In general, if you recognize yourself in this paragraph, it's time for you to think.

Why did a woman cheat on a man

How we got used to the idea that cheating is the lot of men, and a married woman does not need outside connections. Many psychologists say confidently that women cheat for two reasons. First, she fell in love. Second, she wants her husband to be jealous. It is strange that women themselves cannot sometimes clearly answer the question of why wives are cheating.

Anonymous questioning, as a rule, does not give clear, and most importantly, correct results. Following the answers from this type of survey, both married women and married men, many experts can conclude that men cheat more often. During their family life, about 7-9 novels happen. Women in their anonymous profiles note that during their life together with her husband, 1-3 side novels happen.

But who said that polling, albeit anonymous, is a way to find out the truth? Interesting research was carried out in England using ultra-precise and sensitive equipment. They were able to reveal that every ninth child does not belong to a woman's legal husband. As it turned out later, more than half of these casual relationships took place during ovulation.

In these few days, the attraction of lovely ladies reaches its climax. So nature intended, probably so that the human race does not die out. And no one clarified to her what it would be advisable for the attraction to extend only to her husband. And some scientists argue that women have the "infidelity gene." And it is during ovulation that it is activated. Well, it's kind of like when alcoholics claim they have the vicious gene for alcoholism.

Why married women cheat

I also want to cite the results of a study by one scientist, which seemed amazing to me. About five years ago, this scientist decided to investigate whether it is true that the microflora of the genital organs of married women is much healthier than the flora of unmarried women. He also conducted his research on supersensitive equipment, which helped him to find, in the genitals of every fourth examined, in addition to her husband's sperm, "foreign" spermatozoa that have a longer period.

The equipment made it possible to determine the ingress of "foreign" spermatozoa a hundred days before the experiment, with great accuracy, up to 2-3 days. Again, these hits occurred during ovulation. A fourth of the women under study, "foreign" spermatozoa, had two to three varieties. In general, besides her husband, she came into close contact with several other men.

Unfortunately, what we are very interested in, namely, the intra-family relations of spouses, are not described in these experiments.

So what does it do? We, women, regardless of our relationship with our spouse, can we calmly "ventilate" on the side? And just because we are ovulating? Probably every woman is her own controller. And I believe that even a strong arousal state can be controlled, whether it be ovulation, or alcohol intoxication, if love reigns in your family.

A completely natural question: why do women cheat, if a happy married woman, enter into a dubious relationship on the side, and even more so, start an affair? This means that not everything is going smoothly in the family.

Moreover, we know our abilities, right? And since we know that on the days of ovulation we are looking for a mate like wild ostriches, so why not sit at home and find pleasure where it should be - in a husband? If this does not happen, then something is wrong with the husband. I do not mean impotence, but an emotional connection with him. And if you've ever had sexual intercourse on the side, tell yourself, was it when the storm reigned in the house? Many patients at the receptions of psychotherapists say that they have a strong desire to bend to bed with another man when her husband greatly offends her.

Emotional wounds don't heal quickly. It is during this painful period that a woman can commit adultery, after which she will greatly repent. But the next time, when her husband allows her to offend her again, he will repeat the “trip to the left” again ... A woman always strives for a family. Nature created her as the keeper of the hearth. And this instinct comes over the years to any representative of the fair sex. Therefore, whether it is ovulation, or menstruation, she will definitely be near her husband if he loves and appreciates her.

Why women cheat on their husbands

Sex in marriage fades over the years. A couple, having enjoyed each other, enters into an intimate relationship with each other quite rarely. Our body, together with the mind, cools down and lives in harmony. Of course, having fallen into the hands of something new, the sexual potential increases, but not for long.

Also, over time, having amused itself with a new individual, the body will say: this is enough, thanks. This means that it is impossible to spend your whole life in active sexuality (although there are exceptions to the rules). And it's okay for a couple to not make love eight times a day like they did in their first year of marriage. And the fact that such a relationship is rare cannot be the reason for treason.

I believe that there is still no such physical or physiological indication for infidelity. All cheating occurs first in the head. It may be a long-forgotten offense, or it may be fresh. This is some kind of misunderstanding, or complete rejection by the spouse. It can be her husband's betrayal, which belongs to the section - resentment. Someone even thinks that if my husband has cheated, then I should cheat on him too. That everyone was even.

But, answering evil for evil, you get in the equation - evil. I do not know how you can forgive an unfaithful husband, but each one decides for herself. Some people forgive, some don't. And yet, sinking to the bar lower, only to take revenge, is a blow to itself. After all, if we do have sex, then only for pleasure, not for revenge.

Will you then feel proud and confident? I think no. And the pain in the soul will not diminish.

Summing up, I want to say to jealous men: if you are afraid of your wife's betrayal, then love her and let her see it. After all, sometimes love lives so quietly next to us, then we do not notice it. And you need to show it to your soul mate more often. A beloved and loving woman has no need to look for someone. Well, there is simply no need.

How to know if a woman is cheating

Yes, it happens that women cheat on their husbands. And her betrayal is much more serious than that of a man, because if a woman has already decided to change, then with a probability of 50% she will leave her husband and leave the family. But how do you know if a woman is cheating?

Psychologists believe that there are certain types of women whose cheating is very likely. These are girls and women who were very spoiled by parental love, who, on the contrary, lacked parental attention. Women careerists and women who are in constant search. As you can see, there are a lot of such types and it is far from a fact. That your wife will turn out to be an exemplary wife and mother.

Pay attention to whether she mentions the name of a man too often in her conversations. Due to her emotionality, a woman cannot always restrain her emotions, and if she flies from her tongue every now and then: Petya said or Sasha did, then you should think about it. It's not a fact that the betrayal has already happened, but such an enthusiastic attitude can be very fertile ground for her.

If your wife has begun to pay increased attention to her own appearance. No, it is clear that women already pay a lot of attention to her. But here we are talking about an even higher one. She tries to change her hairstyle or style of clothing, constantly asks you how she looks, perhaps she is starting to look young. All this suggests that she has an object for seduction, and this object, alas, is most likely not you. Most likely, while this is being done without far-reaching plans and even at a subconscious level. However, be vigilant.

Your spouse has begun to go to the shops more and more often, then for her friend's birthday, or visit her sick aunt. Traffic congestion has become a real nightmare for your family, and buses and trams, including the metro, are in a deep crisis? And all this mysteriously began to happen after meeting this mysterious Petya? It seems that your woman is cheating and you will soon have horns.

To find out, to find out that a woman is cheating, pay attention to her behavior in bed. If you notice obvious changes in him, for example, does she constantly push you away or, on the contrary, began to show truly delightful sexuality, which has not been observed before? This probably means that something has changed in her sex life, and, apparently, you have nothing to do with it. It looks like you need to get serious about it.

By registering their relationship, the happy bride and groom swear to each other in eternal love and fidelity. Probably, in an ideal world, all spouses would live a long and happy life without betrayal and betrayal, but in reality many have to put up with the fact that a husband or wife goes "to the left".

Male infidelity is no longer considered something unusual, society often justifies them, although, of course, few will be able to live with such a husband. Female infidelity with us for a long time perceived as something out of the ordinary.

However, times are changing, and the number of women cheating on their husbands is increasing. According to statistics from family psychologists, about half of all women cheat on their husbands, while according to official statistics, only about 25% of the fair half of humanity admit to being unfaithful to their spouses. Why do wives cheat?

Psychology and nature of female infidelity

Despite the fact that both husbands and wives are cheating, the reasons that push them to this rash act are completely different. Let's analyze and understand how male infidelity differs from female infidelity.

The psychology of infidelity on the part of a woman

Why do men cheat? Psychologists, especially those who support the teachings of S. Freud, believe that a strong half of humanity cannot exist without adultery, since they obey the call of nature and try to fertilize as many individuals of the opposite sex as possible.

Women do not have such a need. The main thing for her is to choose the best father for her child in order to give birth to healthy offspring. Therefore, a girl rarely seeks to increase the number of men, but it is important for her that her chosen one is the best.

This is the crux of the problem. A girl can fall in love, and her chosen one seems to her the embodiment of masculinity. She comes up with a hero for herself, in which all the best qualities of a man are embodied: strength, activity, reliability, passion, and so on. But then she realizes that she was wrong.

There are no perfect people. However, she strives to find one, no matter what others think her husband is the best. Pleasing a woman is not easy. If the family does not have enough money, she dreams of a wealthy person. The one who bathes in luxury complains that her husband pays little attention to her.

And so it is always: the one who is close - seems boring and not what it should be, and the one who is not with her - the best. After some time, she finds herself in the same bed with him. Most likely, a new disappointment awaits her, but for a while she believes that she has met the love of her life.

But cheating may have other reasons. We'll talk about this later.

The main differences between male and female infidelity

We figured out how men's infidelity differs from women's, but to summarize, we will write down the main differences point by point:

  1. Love. To cheat on a wife, a husband doesn't have to fall in love with a new partner. Women cheat on men only if they have feelings for their lover. There should at least be sympathy.
  2. Choosing a partner. A man is ready to seduce any girl if she seems attractive to him. Girls will keep an eye on their partner. They must first make sure that it really suits them.
  3. Development of a relationship. If the husband finds a mistress, he does not think about divorce. In the case of a wife's betrayal, everything is much more serious. He believes that he will someday be with his lover, and can easily leave his family.

The most common reasons for female cheating

We figured out what is the nature of female infidelity, its psychology. However, many girls do not live by obeying only instincts. Still, a person knows how to control his behavior, especially if he received the right upbringing.

Why does a woman cheat? Why is she ready to forget her moral principles and then suffer from remorse?

Psychologists identify many reasons that can push for treason:

  1. Revenge. The spouse cheated, and the wife decided to take revenge on him in this way. Or she is already tired of arguing with her husband, she does not like the way he behaves with her, so she decided on such revenge.
  2. Disappointment. The girl was used to the fact that her chosen one paid her a lot of attention. He tried to conquer her, so he was caring, gentle, and after he achieved what he wanted, he stopped noticing her.
  3. Incompatibility in bed. Spouses may have different temperaments. If the wife is passionate, loving, and the husband does not need frequent sex, she may think about going "left".
  4. I want to be desired. Every girl would like to remain the most beloved and desired. If she is not appreciated in marriage, she will find something that will admire her.
  5. Craving for new sensations. Living together often ruins feelings. The wife managed to study her husband, she knows all his habits. And she wants something new in life, something that will make her days unforgettable. She needs new emotions, and in marriage she cannot get them.

  1. Hasty marriage. The girl got married early. And now she needs to cook for her husband, look after the household, the children, while her friends are running around on dates. And she, too, wants the same carefree life.
  2. Desire for the forbidden fruit. The girl could have her own moral principles, but the person changes, reconsiders his views on life. And she can already afford and treason, since this is the taboo that she would like to break.
  3. She wants to be modern. If all her friends and acquaintances run "to the left", she reads articles, watches programs that do not condemn such behavior, the wife is cheating on her husband, because she does not want to be a "black sheep" among her entourage.

We have listed some of the reasons for female infidelity, but this, of course, is not all. There are a lot of them. And each family has its own story, each girl has her own motives, it would be difficult to sort it all out on the shelves, since it is impossible to subordinate feelings to some strict logic.

How to prevent cheating on the part of a woman?

If a woman finds herself another man, it will be difficult to rectify the situation. She will not want to stay with her husband if her relationship has become serious on her side. And not every man is capable of accepting a wife who has been in the arms of another.

Therefore, you should not go to extremes, it is better to work on the relationship in marriage, to prevent betrayal, since an attempt to return to your old life may be unsuccessful. These tips are simple, they may seem trivial to some, but it is not in vain that they say that all ingenious is simple.

  1. Remember to make time for your wife. Yes, after work I want to spend time in front of a computer or TV. You may have a thousand things to do and hobbies, but put some of them aside and spend time with your spouse.
  2. Become the person closest to her. If a spouse can talk with you about everything that worries her, share her experiences, feelings, she will not have the desire to look for someone on the side. Here, respect for a woman, for her interests is also important, otherwise she will find someone else who will understand her or pretend to understand.
  3. Let off steam. This advice may seem strange, since for many it is a family without quarrels and scandals that seems ideal. But psychologists warn that then there is a high probability that the spouses are indifferent to each other. Therefore, there should be conflicts, speak out grievances. Then they won't ruin your relationship.

  1. Discuss your intimate life. If you live together, then you no longer have secrets from each other, so you can easily talk about your intimate life. Ask your wife if everything suits her.
  2. Don't forget about mutual respect. Try to respect her feelings, do not do what she does not like. But ask her to make concessions to you and listen to your opinion.
  3. Fight the routine. If you have lived together for a long time, there is a desire to let everything take its course and live the way you have to. But still, it is worth sometimes arranging pleasant surprises, organizing events for the family to make your life more interesting.
  4. Don't be jealous. If a woman constantly hears her husband reproaching her for treason, although there is no reason for this, then sooner or later she will cheat on him. She decides that it is pointless for you to prove something and it is easier to behave as you expect from her.

Remember that for a woman, cheating on her spouse is not just a fun adventure, but more often than not a serious stressful situation. A woman does not change immediately, usually she decides to take this step not under the influence of suddenly surging feelings or desires, but after prolonged experiences and worries.

Therefore, if you sort out the relationship in time, make her remember the feelings that she felt for you, you can prevent cheating and all its negative consequences.

What if the wife cheated?

What to do if there was betrayal, to forgive or not to forgive your spouse? It is difficult to answer this question, it all depends on the specific situation, on the relationship in marriage. Perhaps this betrayal, although painful for both spouses, will be a turning point in their lives.

If you no longer have a relationship, feelings have disappeared, then parting may be the best way out. But, even if you made such a decision, it is still worth forgiving a woman in order to get rid of resentment and hatred, let go of this relationship and move on.

According to statistics, about 40% of men are ready to forgive adultery (for women, this percentage is higher - 70%). But for those who decided to keep the relationship, it is important to understand that they will not be the same as before. You will have to rebuild them so that the situation does not repeat itself.

And, if you already decided to be in the place again, forget about what happened to you, never blame your spouse, do not blame her, otherwise all your attempts to build new trusting relationships will be unsuccessful.

Video: the reasons and signs of female infidelity and can it be forgiven?

Why does adultery happen in marriages? What are their reasons? Something went wrong? All these questions arise not only among those who have become a victim of such behavior of the second half, but also among those who are just trying to start a family. Even if a guy has just started dating a girl, then he may also have a worm of doubt that will sharpen constantly and tirelessly: is his beloved cheating? Living with a load on his soul becomes difficult. Making complaints and asking inappropriate questions is the same as insulting a person with mistrust. Maybe it was only your imagination that built some ideas about infidelity, and the girl did not even think to look at someone else. And then she will not like your suspicions, in the end, she will get tired of it, and she will want to end the relationship in order to avoid humiliating inquiries and your jealousy from scratch. And she will be right in this situation! And you will show yourself not in the best light. If you still cannot cope with unreasonable jealousy, then it is better to turn to the experience of psychologists and find out by indirect signs whether your friend is cheating on you. But even in this case, it is better to take some action and start a showdown when you make sure that your relationship is in danger of a final break. Whether it is worth trying after that to hold the family together or let your wife go to all four sides is up to you, but also your second half to decide. Perhaps the betrayal was just her protest against your own wrong behavior. Then it is enough to simply reconsider your relationship, and everything will work out.

Signs of female infidelity

Let's make a reservation right away: all the signs below are just a reason to sound the alarm or check a woman for loyalty. Perhaps the reason for the changes in his wife's behavior was much more prosaic reasons than a passionate romance started on the side. Pressure from friends, parents or colleagues, a banal malaise or a serious illness discovered, in the end, an unexpected pregnancy for her - all this can lead to a radical change in lifestyle or a change in appearance. Looking for a stranger in these situations - a rival and rival - is simply ridiculous. He's gone!

The first signs of treason

Among the first signs of treason, psychologists single out: 1) Restricting access to personal space Until recently, my wife could carelessly throw her mobile phone on the couch and ask from the shower: "Look who's calling me there?" Or even ask to answer that she will call back soon or be free. And suddenly she began to hide the phone, and on social networks changed the passwords to those that you do not know. This is already a reason to think about cheating, but at the same time check other signs. Perhaps you recently rude to your mother-in-law on the phone of your wife or ridiculed her friend on her behalf for being overweight. Here is the second half and decided to "punish" you by restricting access. After all, access to personal space does not mean the destruction of it. If such facts really took place, then it is worth apologizing to the wife for inappropriate behavior with her loved ones, and then everything can fall into place. If the access restriction remains, then look for other signs before making the final verdict of treason. 2) Abrupt abandonment of very persistent habits Did your wife suddenly stop attending the fitness room or, on the contrary, began to rush there, although she was previously indifferent to sports? Or does she suddenly develop a passion for classical music, and she disappears at the conservatory after work, and at the weekend attends the opera house? At the same time, the wife became suspicious, began to worry a lot about trifles. Often does not answer calls on a mobile phone, and sometimes it is “temporarily unavailable or out of the network coverage area”. These are serious warning signs. If your wife has nothing to hide, then she will always gladly and thoroughly answer your questions about fitness or opera. You, of course, understand that when you are exercising on the simulator, it is simply inconvenient to answer the phone. After physical exertion, the same characteristic aspiration may appear in the voice ... as after violent sex. Perfect disguise for physical betrayal. But there is no need to talk about it. But to ask why the classes suddenly became so interested is quite appropriate. If fitness, on the contrary, is abandoned, then the reason for this may be the rise in price of the subscription or the closure of the gym, which was close to home or work. And these are not the moments that the wife could not explain. Most likely, she would have complained about the situation before the class was over. If the wife swam in the pool, then it is also impossible to be in touch there. But in this case, ask yourself: why didn't you go swimming together? As for the conservatory or theater, it is customary to turn off mobile phones. This is understandable, as well as the fact that if rap or hard rock is constantly heard at home, which only you like, when your wife loves classics, then she will always look for a place where she can listen to something more comfortable for her ears. Here it was not treason that could play a cruel joke, but your intransigence and the imposition of your own musical taste. 3) Constant delays at work without warning When my wife suddenly began to stay late at work, it would have been inexplicable before, but in the current crisis situation, this is normal. When the management cuts part of the staff, the remaining employees are given just a frenzied amount of work for a meager increase in wages. If your spouse describes this whole situation to you, then you have no reason not to trust, because this information is objective. If a wife wants to get a promotion because she has the chance, then she too can devote more time to her work responsibilities. And she will not share these considerations with you in the only case: when you reproached her with the fact that she occupies a low position, that is, “no one at all,” and you yourself are a size and in good standing with the authorities. If there was no such thing, and the woman is silent and does not admit why it takes a long time to leave work, then this is a reason to ask if she has an office romance. 4) Sudden change of image in the direction of a sexier A change of image can happen unexpectedly if your shy wife has fallen under the influence of her brighter girlfriends. Instead of plain hair of an incomprehensible color, she acquires blonde hair or becomes a burning brunette. And maybe a redhead. New things appear in the wife's wardrobe, more elegant and expensive in appearance. Of course, it's a shame that she was the last to ask you if she should go to a makeup artist or stylist. But what can you do if she asked you several times, and you shrugged your shoulders vaguely? And then the mother-in-law could also intervene, who "sawed through" her daughter's brain that her husband should always like her, and therefore - take care of her appearance. Otherwise, he will leave or find a mistress! It's good if the young lady began to take care of herself. But what should be alarming is deep cuts in clothes, skirts that are too short, or, if emphasized, tight-fitting silhouettes. If only all this has not happened before, then it becomes clear that the girl wants to attract someone. And if at the same time you pay attention to cutesy behavior, changes in gestures, gaze, etc. - this is already a reason to suspect treason. The assessment of the wife's behavior in bed can finally dispel doubts. 5) Chilling in intimate relationships Every person has their own sexual temperament, and you probably know very well what your wife has. How quickly she falls asleep after "this", whether one act is enough for her, or is she insatiable, like a nymphomaniac, whether she often has a "headache", in the sense of a reason for refusing to intercourse - all this should be known to you. If suddenly something has changed, especially in the direction of cooling the relationship, then we can assume that the wife is getting satisfaction somewhere on the side. Or your opponent “makes something better in bed,” so you become uninteresting. But this is not always a reason for suspicion. Your wife might just be pregnant! At the beginning of pregnancy, many women have a decrease in libido, and this is a normal physiological process. Moreover, many have to deal with such an unpleasant phenomenon as thrush at the beginning of this period. If your wife refuses intimate relationships in this case, then she is doing the right thing, because she does not want to infect you. At the same time, remember: thrush is not a venereal disease and arises as a result of a decrease in immunity, and not because the wife "brought it". This is even more a confirmation that the spouse is really pregnant. The question arises: why doesn't she talk about it? To answer this question, remember how you prepared to first confess your love to her, how you were going to propose. It took moral strength from you! And no less spiritual work is required from a woman to declare you a future father. Yes, someone else appears in your relationship. But this third one is your son or daughter, who need to be paid attention to even before birth. And it is also required of you. Sooner or later, the wife will be forced to say that she is going to become a mother, and then you will be convinced of her loyalty. But if there is no pregnancy, then it is worth asking if the spouse is sick with something serious. When the diagnosis is frightening, then it is she who may be afraid that you will leave her. If you are not a complete egoist, then she will most likely entrust you with her sad secret over time. When a spouse is healthy as a bull, and besides, does not bear a child, this is already a reason to ask, for a start as a joke: has she found a replacement for you?

Physiological signs of treason (body)

There are still a couple of signs by which men often judge female infidelity. These are menstruation, which occurs several times a month, as well as the desire of the spouse to get to the bathroom as soon as possible. The first option is simply disrespect for you. Why not just say that you are tired or sick? Why cheat so that everything is sewn with white threads. This is a reason to think. The second option can be caused, for example, by the same thrush. How does it feel to endure the itch for a long time and not run to the bathroom when the first opportunity is presented! Also, the spouse may be embarrassed that her deodorant turned out to be faulty in the heat, and she does not want to appear before you dirty and sloppy. So the bathroom may be for you, and not for the destruction of the odor of a stranger's cologne and traces of recent sexual pleasures.

Signs of cheating on panties, underwear and other clothes

Speaking about the image, we missed one important detail - underwear. It can also lead you to suspicion. For example, you have never shown an addiction to leather underwear, and suddenly your wife has it. This thing is not cheap, and a wealthy lady can buy it just for the sake of experiment. If this creates a serious gap in your family budget, then before making such a purchase, your spouse should ask how you generally feel about underwear made from such an unusual material. If a lady of the heart introduced a peignoir into her intimate wardrobe, which she had not previously used, then this can be attributed to imitation of the heroine of a recently watched film. But if this piece of linen is not worn for your bed dramas, then you need to be on your guard. You need to carefully find out: why this piece of clothing was purchased: either it is just a useless gift from a friend, or a way to please a lover. This can also serve as lace panties, a new bra, often enlarging the breasts, etc. If all this is not worn in front of your intimate scenes, but when you leave home, then this may be a sign of physical betrayal, and not some erotic fantasies your life partner.

Woman's behavior after her betrayal

It is enough to pay attention to what changes have appeared in the daily behavior of the wife to say: "Perhaps she cheated on me." And these are not necessarily views of the husband as a complete insignificance, when she mentally compares him to a rich (more courteous, affectionate, powerful) lover. Here everything can be exactly the opposite:
    amazing dishes of exotic or European cuisine, which are not prepared for the holiday; excessive politeness in treatment, bordering on a constant desire to apologize for ... treason; surgical cleanliness in the house; no one knows where the burst of energy came from, up to the desire to dance.
Of course, putting in perfect order in the house and cooking pickles - all this can be the result of "getting on the brains" from the mother-in-law, or, conversely, - the admonition of a dear mother, they say, you are no longer young, you cannot keep "this dog" alone by the beauty. And they advise the mother to surround her dear spouse with unprecedented care, so that he himself does not look to the left. A sudden fascination with cooking unusual dishes can play a role. If the wife is an addicted person, then over time this interest will subside, the food will become more mediocre, and this will only be regretted, as well as unfounded suspicions.

Cheating through the eyes of a psychologist

Psychologists are impartial, and therefore their verdict sometimes seems cruel to us. Sometimes, instead of taking the side of the deceived spouse, they suddenly begin to justify the action of the one who dared to instruct him. Often, wanting to understand what caused the betrayal, they bring to light such nuances of the behavior of both spouses, which the family preferred to keep silent about. But even such shock therapy is sometimes useful, because it allows everyone to see their own shortcomings, and not indiscriminately blame only the wife who cheated on her husband.

Reasons for female infidelity

Often cited as the main cause of women's dissatisfaction, and not only in sexual terms. Just sex can suit a partner, but man is not the only one alive! The wife also has her own “spiritual body,” which has needs. Go to the theater or dine in a restaurant, go on a romantic trip, just walk arm in arm in the evening park - why all this often remains at the dawn of a relationship, and then disappears somewhere later, replaced by the routine of pots, pans, cleaning. Especially if the second half, that is, you, does not bother with household chores, considering his wife to be the working camel who will carry all this on himself. When you have a relationship with another man, it often represents as promising romantic start as you once had. Moral: a woman needs to be conquered with something all the time, even in spite of the presence of a stamp in the passport, joint living space and common children. And then she won't even have a reason to look in someone's direction. Remain a gallant gentleman, and not a lazy man lying on the couch, who, besides the TV, is not very interested in anything. You can often hear that for a man the family is his rear. But this does not mean at all that this is what is always behind you. If there is a rear, then there is a front. And this is not a career, not personal successes, but the protection of the family and even its material support. The latter is fundamentally distinguished by family life and military disposition. Sometimes women “bite” on the lover's security, on his expensive gifts, and not even out of greed, but because “the man wasted himself”. The tempter can thus put your soul mate in an uncomfortable position. Especially if she does not know how to reject expensive gifts and intrusive courtship. Often, such relationships are even a burden for her, but she is unable to stop them. Then a psychologist is needed. Or you yourself can suddenly show yourself as a superman and do something grandiose for your wife in order to win her away from your opponent forever.

Why does a girl sleep with another guy, but doesn't leave

It so happens that the other half is playing on two fronts, that is, she has you, and at the same time - a lover. And she prefers not to stick to any of the banks completely. Perhaps you and her lover are mutually complementary links in her life. You know how to provide for a family, in you she sees a promising father for children, but finds sex with you boring and monotonous. Maybe it's not about sex at all. She may not even sleep with another guy, but spend most of the time with him, saying that this is just friendship. Perhaps this guy understands her better, this is a vest in which you can cry, he gets a more comfortable conversation than you. And then this is a reason to change something in yourself, and not reproach his wife with her infidelity.

Who is to blame for treason

Surprisingly, both are to blame. If a friend of life is too lustful that she cannot be satisfied with only one partner, then where were your eyes when you chose her as your life partner? If you then closed them on such "shortcomings", then you just have to wait for the hormonal background of your chosen one to subside, and she will not look at other men. At the same time, she can be with you with all her soul, but change physically. But if the wife has cheated, falling in love with another person, then this is a more serious situation, because it often ends in a breakdown in relations, divorce, and leaving for another family. A stable love triangle may form, and here all three will be to blame. Sometimes a lady remains a double woman for a long time, until someone first gets tired of this state of affairs. And then you have to untangle the thread and look for the reasons that gave rise to these strange relationships.

How to know if my girlfriend or wife is cheating on me

This question is often asked by insecure men. In fact, jealousy is self-doubt, and it often arises from scratch, for no real reason. Executing a creature dear to you with distrust is not the best way to maintain a relationship. Therefore, you need to make sure that the betrayal really takes place.

Ways to Catch Cheating

The most common method is spying on the person you suspect. You can spy on your own or with the help of private detectives. You can track down either your soul mate or a perceived competitor. There are different methods of espionage thanks to modern technologies:
    the use of eavesdropping devices; peeping information on social networks; visual observation using portable video cameras or optical devices.
But if you are a sick person from your own jealousy, then entrust the work to impartial detectives. After all, any information received can be misinterpreted by you, and you admit yourself to be a fiasco. For example, an affectionate word addressed to a yard dog and recorded on your recorder can be mistaken for a conversation with a young man. Some couples call the husband a dog or a cat! And surprisingly, a woman with a developed imagination can give her mobile phone or tablet a name by which she will one day call it aloud.

Fidelity test to check your beloved

There are various test options on the Internet, and with the help of them you can test both yourself and your soul mate. If you take responsibility for her, then you may misinterpret some of her phrases or even biasedly fill out the test. Then the results may turn out to be distorted. Better to just invite her to answer the questions herself as a game. Naturally, you yourself will also take part in this and fill in all the fields with her. If you have nothing to hide, then she, too, will agree to do everything with you. Just be careful: the test does not show the fact of infidelity, but simply a person's tendency to infidelity. It is possible that your wife realizes that she is "not averse to the side", but for the sake of you, beloved, honestly restrains such impulses and does not dissolve. There are many ways to get another person to do something that he himself would not want. And often it can be physical or mental pressure. It is silly to argue that a woman is physically weaker, but this does not mean that you need to literally knock out testimony from your wife. After all, recognition under such pressure will be generally your last conversation, after which she will not have hesitation and doubts about who is better. Of course, a lover, because he does not let go. And she will run away to him without looking back, at least in order to be under the wing, besides, she will justify herself 100% if you prove yourself as a real dork. Putting pressure on a woman morally is also not the best option, because the relationship with you will definitely not return to normal from this. Most likely, the spouse will file for divorce and, quite possibly, will even be left alone, deciding that she is so much calmer - without any fights. If you want to put an end to your relationship with your wife, because you yourself have chosen a more suitable party for yourself, then feel free to start a showdown: you will achieve your goal and get a divorce.

My wife has a lover, what to do

If you have made sure that your wife really has a lover, and this is no secret admirer, not just a friendly colleague who is not averse to chatting with someone else's wife for a long time, namely a person who has an affair, then you can simply compete with him. Instead of starting a showdown, you can just call your wife to work, and furnish it very effectively. And after that invite her to a restaurant, saying that you would like to free her from household chores today. Further more. You can start a trip to the resort with your spouse. This will tear her out of the circle of communication with an uninvited suitor for a long time. Perhaps your life friend just needs vivid impressions, and if it is your persona that will be associated with them, then why waste time and moral strength on a lover? Here the rule works well that the wife needs to be pampered so that she herself does not start pampering. Perceiving your life friend as a "free application" to you is the way to the fact that sooner or later she will change. If a woman is not appreciated and not told about it, observing the "Spartan atmosphere" in the relationship, then she will subconsciously look for someone who will appreciate her. There is no need to skimp on kind words, on showing attention and affection. Then you will have a chance not only to calmly relive this romance started by your wife, but also to stay with her when the lover simply disappears from the horizon. Sometimes another psychological move helps. Oddly enough, but you need to let your wife go to her lover. It is about women they say that at home, when they “unfasten” false eyelashes and hairpieces, wash off the “plaster”, they turn into kikimor. But with men, things are really no better. Your wife sees her lover as imposing, well-groomed when she meets him only in fits and starts. Now she will see him watching sports matches that will be more important than her. In this case, yesterday's "treasure" will almost eat pasta with stewed meat or dumplings, so as not to be distracted from the screen, or bite off the sausage directly from the loaf. There are many pictures of such a plan, and all of them will not be in favor of the person who was throwing dust in his eyes. Doesn't the wife then want to return to the man whose family way of life was worked out together with her?

How to tell if your wife is cheating at work

Office romances, alas, are not uncommon. And it is not always a meeting of two lonely hearts. It also happens that an "omnipotent" director or a big boss courting a married subordinate. In return, he offers career growth, high wages, and he also gladly spends his own money on a lady he likes. This seems disgusting for many from the outside. But if this is your wife, then this situation is a real disaster. A faithful wife will either quit this job, or make it clear that she is not ready to accept the courtship of the "bonza", no matter what benefits he promises her. And here you need to distinguish between what reaches you: gossip or true information. If the director walks around your wife with gogol, this does not mean that she reciprocated. Disassembly should be started with him rather than with your beloved. A person understands that his power extends only within the unit or office headed by him. But here you are “not from his system”, and he may be afraid of you, because he does not know what to expect from you. If you want to be confident in your wife, then unexpectedly pay her a visit to work under the pretext of a surprise - unexpectedly bought tickets for the premiere of a film, an invitation to friends, or some other plausible pretext. You can also ask your spouse for a corporate party. If the other half has nothing to hide, then she can take such an idea with enthusiasm.

Cheating spouse at 40, what to do

Sometimes a woman tries to adjust her outlook on life at a more mature age than your marital union took place. And then she can find herself not just a nice, cheerful guy that you once were, but a wealthy man who could:
    provide a good family; protect your household from many problems; give expensive gifts; look after nicely; to really take care of children (and yours!), which you have not done until now.
In adulthood, a wife may suddenly look at the world through a different prism - the prism of practicality, which leads to a very dangerous betrayal. This is no longer an easy flirting on the side, but a search for a reliable foothold. If you do not cope with this role yourself - if you please ... Will it be possible to save marriage or at least relations with children in this situation depends not only on the escaped wife, and not only on your children, but also on your precious person. Understand your spouse and forgive The first thing to do is to get into the position of your wife and understand what she was unhappy with in the marriage. If you tyrannized the whole family, did not spare the children, provided them poorly, then it will be difficult to hope for a change for the better. Then you yourself will have to ask for forgiveness from the one you think is guilty. If you discard pride, then you can take such a step if a woman is really dear to you. If you perceived your wife only as a servant in the house, then you can hardly apologize to her, and then you have to start life from a blank sheet. Children will have to be released to a new father, but still gain their favor in order to sometimes see them. If you were a too gentle person in the family, and the wife did not perceive you as a serious support from this, then it’s time to change something in yourself and win the wife’s favor. If from a romantic girl she was able to become a practical lady, then yesterday's "tyukhtya" can turn into a real superman. By the way, “tyukhti” initially has more chances to be a beloved father, because children do not love the successful, but the kind. In this case, the divorce can be postponed and just wait until this love affair ends. Divorce after infidelity and life from scratch If it was not possible to improve relations after the betrayal, and only diplomacy was established in the matter of raising children, then this is not a sentence for you as a family man. If you realize that your wife will be tightly held by her new family, then create your own. A man - and a groom at 40! Just do not do it in spite, because you will cripple the life of yourself and your new chosen one. You need to marry the woman whom you truly love and who loves you. After all, she will always subconsciously compare herself with your "ex." And if you choose a woman from whom your husband left, then this awkward feeling will visit you when you are afraid of not living up to expectations. Only strong feelings for each other can distract from these thoughts.

If a loved one has changed, is it worth forgiving her

Not only your wife can deceive you, but also the girl with whom you are still dating. Cheating is different. For example, a girl can take someone's courtship while drunk. She herself will not be happy with this turn of events. This is exactly the case when you need to behave like a knight: forgive the girl and deal with an unexpectedly arisen rival. You can even forgive your wife's fleeting romance if you see that these violent feelings are not for long. As a rule, a gentleman can run away from a married lover as soon as she starts a conversation with him about starting a family. Such people prefer someone else to be responsible for the woman. In this case, on you. In the meantime, your wife plunged headlong into her romance, just think about what you did not suit your friend in life. Maybe it’s you who will be able to put everything right. Just avoid reproaches, feel like you were in your youth, when you just courted her, trying to be better than your rivals. Have you been challenged? Accept!

Statistics: how often wives cheat on husbands, and girls often cheat on guys

Now you can find disappointing statistics that cheating occurs in 70% of married couples. But there is no unity among women's and men's sites regarding gender data in this regard. If on sites for a strong half of women's infidelity, the numbers are often underestimated, then on women's resources it is indicated that over 75% of men are unfaithful in marriage. Should you rely on such statistics? Most probably not. In addition, you need to understand the reason for each individual betrayal. After all, you can be a good husband and an exemplary father, and statistics can be spoiled by domestic tyrants, drunks and outright womanizers, whom it is not a sin to change, but a way of salvation for a humiliated wife.

Psychology: the consequences of infidelity and relationships after it

If the result of the betrayal did not become a final rupture, this does not mean at all that it will not leave a scar in the soul. Even the strongest and most courageous man is defenseless in front of only one feeling - love. If she is so strong that her own self-esteem is drowning in her, then, oddly enough, this is a chance not only to forgive and take back her unfaithful wife, but also to maintain good relations with her and never remember her casual affair. You can often hear: "Be above this." But as a rule, such a remark concerns some conflicts at work, petty quarrels. But you can be higher than betrayal, higher than your opponent. Difficult, but you can always try. Indeed, how well your family life can develop further depends on how you rise above this conflict. And if it so happened that your marriage fell apart, then try not to keep evil. After all, the wife is gone, but it will not leave you. Don't let it grind through your soul. Better to find another fulcrum for yourself and throw off the burden of mental pain. It will not work right away, this disease will have to be ill for some time. But it must not be allowed to take on a chronic form.