How to become beautiful if you are ugly. I'm very scary. Plastic surgery is the way

26.09.2019

“Beauty will save the world! Where is my place in this world? Who will save me? What if I'm ugly?! To send to the reservation so that I don’t poison this “beautiful world” with my presence? ..” Cries of despair: “What should I do if I am ugly ?!” - can often be found on social networks. While the photos attached to them show cute, charming girls, most often teenagers. And yet another victim of low self-esteem looks at such pictures and thinks: “They haven’t seen me yet ...”

Natural selection

To please others is a normal desire for a sane person, especially for a woman. No wonder women are called so: the beautiful half of humanity. It is believed that beauty automatically provides the location of people, causes interest in the individual, a pleasant impression, attention and respect. In this case, the conclusion suggests itself that a beautiful woman has no end to applicants for a hand and heart, she is always happy and has an interesting time. It's not that "ugly". It's no wonder so many girls are excited about the question, "What if I'm ugly?"

And in fact…

A myriad of sophisticated beauties, highly educated smart girls, beautiful hostesses could long ago create the most numerous women's parties called: “What is wrong with me?”, “What if I am fat?” or “I have the worst hundred imperfections!”. They are lonely, unhappy, and look with envy at the ugly girls that their husbands carry in their arms.

Did you know…

That a twenty-second look at a fashion magazine can lower a woman's self-esteem by 75%? Notice, any woman, even the most, in your opinion, beautiful. Have you ever seen an unpainted model? Do you know how she looks in pictures taken with an ordinary soap dish, without special lighting, professional makeup, hairstyles and clothes chosen according to her taste, and not by a stylist? Represented? Are you horrified? Did you smile? And you still say: "What if I'm ugly?" Honor and praise to the famous ugly women for the fact that they coped with this complex!

Get your brain in order

Turns out it's not beauty. Or, to be more precise, not in what you mean by the word "beauty". Disgrace - in the mind! Every person is a creation of God. Do you think that he is not professional enough and makes mistakes?

And yet - what if I'm ugly, strange, not the way I should be?

Find yourself a worthy role model. Such an artist, singer, model, TV presenter, etc., who is more or less similar to you, your phenotype. Agree, among them, beautiful, happy and successful, there are small ones, plump ones, and disproportionate ones ... But they have charm, charm, a look with a spark that can be easily adopted. And the manner of dressing, presenting yourself to the environment - shamelessly copy and make your own exclusive changes. One has only to take this into service, as you will notice admiring glances when they look after you for a long time, trying to understand what is so attractive, elusively mysterious in this woman, why do you want to solve her riddle so much? ..

Many people ask the question: “I am ugly, what should I do?”. In fact, almost all girls are dissatisfied with their appearance to some extent. Even universally recognized beauties know that they also have their shortcomings. But what if no one has ever told you that you are beautiful? What if you can't even believe that someone will love you? "I'm ugly" - a sentence or a delusion?

How it all started

Self-esteem is formed in childhood itself, when the mother says to the boy: “What kind of coward are you?”, And the father tells the girl: “Who will need such a fat woman?” Actions and reactions to many things depend on education. Floating up again and again, offensive words or silence entangle us, turn us into the person our parents, older brothers, sisters, teachers saw us.

I was born in a small provincial town, in a Muslim family. I have very good parents, but it is not customary for us to express our feelings. My father never told me that he loves me, that I am beautiful, that something will work out for me. And so, when my peers told me: “You are a freak” (they didn’t express it quite like that, but in principle ...), and dad didn’t tell me anything at all about my appearance, I believed that they were right, and dad just silently agrees with this.

I used cosmetics a lot and thought: “I'm ugly, what should I do?”. Almost half of my good salary went to cosmetics - I was scared to appear in public without makeup. I was afraid that when my future husband, if I ever have one, sees me without makeup, he will definitely leave me. Even when I, unpainted, sat at the table with my parents, it seemed to me that they were looking at me and thinking: “Here we have a freak child.” Twice I had suicide attempts, and for this reason, and because of the total loneliness and the certainty that I would never achieve at least recognition.

Of course, I didn’t have any romantic relationships with the opposite sex then. It seemed unbelievable to me that someone would love me. I didn't believe that I would ever get married.

Liberation

To say that I suffered from low self-esteem is to say nothing, it was real self-hatred. From the outside it was impossible to notice, I was successful, independent, secure.
I visited psychologists, went through some training, engaged in self-hypnosis, but gradually everything came back. Most psychologists work at the level of the "head", while the problem with self-esteem lies much deeper, at the level of the heart. The “beauty” and fashion industry is built on keeping women as long and strong as possible in the depths of their complexes and fears. Otherwise, how will all cellulite creams and facelift serums be sold? Why is "beauty" in quotation marks? Because on the pages of magazines, in advertising and cinema, we see an unattainable ideal, and when you look for the answer to the question “I’m ugly, what should I do?”, They answer: “Be thin, be forever young, be sexually attractive, here are your parameters, match!” - this is what almost all the girls of this world live with. Of course, you need to take care of yourself, keep fit, try, but we will never win in the race for this ideal, because photoshop and plastic surgery also do not stand still.

God, Who became my Friend, helped me solve many difficulties, including the problem of self-esteem. Before that, I had just a religion that did not explain to me who I am, why I am, what is required of me.

At the age of 16, because of my studies, I moved to the metropolis. My roommate was a Christian girl who gave me a Bible. And then I saw a God who worries about me and really loves me - but it was unrealistically difficult to believe in it.

I couldn't accept myself. It took another person to help.

One day the pastor of the church I went to came up to me. He suddenly started talking about how difficult it is for girls to love themselves and how many complexes they have. It turned out that he noticed my problem and offered to pray about it. My feelings during prayer are impossible to convey: as if with streams of tears, self-loathing, sown in my childhood, was leaving me. I felt free. I felt that God is near, that He really loves me.

I used to listen to the song “In the design of God there is no error, and there are no mistakes ...” - and anger and resentment raged in me: “God, how not? Here I am, I am a whole mistake!” Now I understand that our Jesus is the perfect Creator, that every feature of our appearance is His plan, and it is for this apparent flaw that we can be loved. He really doesn't make mistakes.

After that, I became a different person. My colleagues at work were surprised when they noticed this: I almost stopped wearing makeup, became more free in communication, natural.

And now I don’t ask myself the question “I’m ugly, what should I do?”.

The only one

Before this meeting with God, I was seriously interested in parascience, the other world, spiritualism, somehow I wanted to know who my future husband would be - because deep down everyone has a thirst for recognition and love. When I came to Jesus, I realized how dangerous it all is, how it offends the Creator, I asked for forgiveness very much - after all, the Almighty can give and tell everything that is needed.

I saw this guy in the church and immediately realized that here he is, my future husband, although we did not even know each other. It was hard for me to believe this, because he is very handsome, talented, and with my attitude towards myself, it seemed to me that if I had a spouse, then it would definitely be very ordinary in appearance, mind and three times older. Then during the two years when we met, God told me more than once that this was the right choice: through dreams, the Bible, through other people and circumstances. And now, when we got married, these “signs” from God help me a lot, they support me, because I understand that our marriage is not an accident or a mistake, but what the Lord wanted from us.

I didn’t have too specific requirements for my future spouse (height, eye color, hair), but now I understand that God gave me an ideal husband. The most important thing is that my appearance for him is the best, special, and through him my Creator shows His love.

You still think “I'm ugly, what should I do?”… My advice to you is to put everything in the hands of God.

Each representative of the fair sex wants to correspond to this title, but not everyone can boast of ideal regular facial features. So the question arises: “What should I do if they tell me that I am an ugly ugly one?”. Especially often such thoughts visit us in adolescence, when it seems that a bright appearance is the key to success. After all, the understanding that pretty ugly women manage to build an excellent career and find family happiness comes much later.

What if I'm ugly?

You stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself “What should I do if I’m ugly, just ugly, how would I put on makeup to fix everything”? Well, cosmetics can really work wonders, but who told you that you are ugly? Girlfriends, a boyfriend, or have you just been unable to do something lately, for example, popularity among peers is not enough? So, remember, girlfriends are often insidious, maybe they tell you that you are ugly, because they want to deprive you of self-confidence, they want to eliminate the most attractive rival for the attention of guys in this way? Did your boyfriend tell you that you're ugly? So he, too, can pursue his goals, for example, he is afraid that you will leave him, so he says: “Who needs you ugly besides me.” I realized that in the matter of your own attractiveness, you can only trust yourself? So go to the mirror and look carefully. Do you see a terribly scary girl there, from whom you want to run away to hell? Just let's evaluate ourselves objectively, without tantrums "I have a pimple on my nose, I'm all ugly" or "I think I'm ugly, because my eyes are not as big as my friend's." Well, didn't you see anything wrong? Great, it remains only to remember this and not to believe anyone who says that you are not beautiful.

What if I'm ugly?

Standing in front of a mirror, do you say: “It seems to me that I am ugly”? Let's figure out what you don't like specifically - the face, the figure? The figure is probably the easiest to understand. Firstly, shortcomings can be corrected by clothing, and secondly, something can be corrected by playing sports. If you think that you are unattractive because of being overweight, then you don’t have to make the mistake of many ladies “I’m fat, I’ll put on a hoodie, but rather three to close everything.” Look, for sure, you like something in your figure. This is what you need to show, and cover up the shortcomings. Just don’t do it with shapeless things - a wide waist and tummy can be closed not only with a huge sweatshirt, but also with a fitted silhouette. And if, on the contrary, you are too thin, then make multi-layer sets of clothes, wear loose-fitting things. And of course, work on yourself in the gym and in the kitchen will help correct the shortcomings of the figure - no one has yet canceled the food culture.

What to do if an ugly face? Here it will be a little more difficult. The difficulty is to learn how to paint correctly, hiding this flaw. If the skin is problematic, then you need to think about its treatment and choose the right concealer. If there are no obvious problems, you just want to correct something, decorative cosmetics will help. For example, lip gloss will give the necessary plumpness to insufficiently full lips, and dark-colored powder will help correct full cheeks. Experiment, everything will definitely work out.

And finally, a few tips:

Hello. My name is Anastasia. I really need help. This problem is worrying. Actually, it's not a problem anymore. This is a tragedy, a punishment from above. I'm very scary. Well, just such that at least wear a mask all year round. It's not that I'm fat, pimply, with the wrong hairstyle, and crooked legs (this is a completely fixable problem, if you take it) ... no .. much worse ... I'm not fat. Weight is normal. The figure is normal. But, flat to the point of horror. Small in height (155 cm) .. Although, this is not scary .. I'm not pimply. The skin is not problematic. Face. It's terrible... Narrow, nasty little eyes that are barely noticeable... the nose... the nose is generally a separate issue. I have it quite large, potato, ugly, not proportional, plus barely noticeable lips-strings. The skull itself is scary. In the shape of a pear. That is, the forehead strongly sticks out. Can you imagine what kind of ugliness this is? I don't know how to live with this at all. My face is also a little rough. How to put it mildly, in general, like a man. Pretty unpleasant, like a toad. Yes, I'm like a toad. Even in the area where I live, my nickname is toad. And at school they called it all the time. As soon as I go out into the street. I try not to go out again. And if I go out, I turn on the volume of the headphones so as not to hear what others are saying. Yes, people are looking at me. very viciously, very appraisingly, and somehow with a smirk. Probably, looking at me, they think about how lucky they were to be born the way they are. I feel very bad. there are pretty girls around who are loved ... And probably no one will love me already. who needs a toad? I'm 25... never had a boyfriend. yes, there was not even a male friend ... I think I am so disgusting to the male sex. Somehow a friend wanted to introduce me to a guy... I met... He asked for a photo, after I sent it, he stopped writing to me... about dating, there was not even a question. Then, one called me, like flirting ... although, I immediately realized that he was mocking me. yes, he scoffed .. Sitting and trolling me with friends ... they told him what to say to me .. it was humiliating ... his words were as follows: "you are so beautiful .. well, you just can’t take your eyes off you" (then laughing at the whole room with friends. Then: "I saw you, and went nuts a bit ... straight, mondrazh on the skin ... what a beauty you are" ... God, I felt so bad ... still sooooo bad ... I think that I have to commit suicide in my case.. Why live like this?If everyone thinks I'm a horror, a toad, a circus freak... I just can't stand it any longer... I've endured it for 25 years. .. and there is no hope left ... you will probably advise plastic surgery .. but, here by ... I'm too afraid of doctors, not that, then go under the knife there ... And yet, I saw how plastic surgery terribly crippled millions of girls, after which they became disabled .... I tried to change hairstyles ... hide my forehead .. but, where to put everything else? it didn’t help ... my forehead still sticks out ... in winter I put on a scarf, I wear a mask for the sick on buses ... But, you can’t always wear a mask.

Psychologists Answers

Good evening Nastya, thank you for writing about your pain, well done. Now I'll ask you a question - do you consider external beauty the most important indicator of happiness? If so, then all the beautiful girls in the world are happy and they have no problems, everyone lined up and each was given out for their beauty by a guy, by a husband, and so on. Well, how? Does it look like the truth? I think you will agree with me that this is completely absurd. In life, everyone has difficulties, someone has this health, someone has a lack of parental warmth, someone has no children and cannot have, and someone simply dies every day from hunger. Everyone has their own difficulties and they are given to temper our spirit in order to become stronger and wiser. You wrote so many good pluses of yours - and your height is graceful, and the skin of your face is clean, and not pimples, and I would also add that you have slender legs, and you probably have beautiful hands and you yourself can walk and know how to talk and much more I would add. What do you think about those who are bedridden and have never been able to walk? How about those people who have Down's disease or cerebral palsy since birth? Can they no longer live, and only the beautiful and tall should live? What you need to do now is to accept yourself for who you are, with your big forehead, with your eyes and your cute mouth. Yes, maybe you are not a standard of beauty 90-60-90, so what? How do you know about the life of models, among them there are also those who threw themselves off the window, got hooked on drugs. The main thing is not your appearance, the main thing is what you have in your soul. And that's what you need to work with. How do you want someone to love you if you don't love yourself one bit? I don't know if you've heard of a guy like Nick Vujicic, if not, then google his name and his videos should come out there. Look how he was born, and how he loves himself, how interesting and full he lives. Moreover, he travels to all cities and countries and holds meetings with girls and boys like you, who do not even realize that being born on earth is already a great happiness. I really want to believe that after reading my letter you will change your mind about yourself and about the values of life, I also really hope that you find the video and after watching it you will feel a little ashamed for not paying due attention to yourself until now. I also recommend that you read two books: "The Cabin" by William Paul Young, and "When God Intervenes, Miracles Happen" by Neil Donald. Everyone has a purpose in this life and everyone should understand this. Good Luck and Love!

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Hello Nastya!

You are doing the right thing by going to a psychologist. Because I have confidence that your physical data is not so bad. If not a quarter. The worst part is that you don't love yourself. And, apparently, they did not receive invaluable love for themselves.

First. Appearance can be adjusted. And do it quite successfully. But there will be no result if there is no loving and accepting attitude towards oneself at the core.

Second. Love not only for appearance. This also applies to male-female relationships. They also love for their responsiveness, lively mind, the ability to give their own and accept that. what the world offers. They are loved for their cheerful disposition and ease of climbing. I suspect that with such a heavy burden as the rejection of one's own face, it is difficult to be light and cheerful.

Nastya, I do not trust that there is nothing good in your appearance. You speak about a figure - normal, a skin - not problem. Hundreds of obese people look with envy at people with ordinary figures - they hate their fat and all of themselves with it and dream of a thin waist and slender legs. The usual story - what we have, we don’t save, we don’t even notice ...

I strongly recommend that you look for a psychologist who leads therapeutic groups, to be like such a group. There you can get real feedback about yourself as a whole - now you are looking at yourself in a dirty mirror. The mirror needs to be cleaned.

Best regards, Olga

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Good answer 3 bad answer 2

Unfortunately, many girls are too dependent on the standards imposed by the media. Having seen enough of the long-legged beauties with perfect facial features, well-groomed hair and long legs, their reflection in the mirror begins to seem unattractive and complexes are born. This makes it difficult to build relationships and be realized in life. Psychologists advise starting to solve the problem with your own thoughts, while working on your appearance in parallel.

Important! Today, taking care of yourself and having an attractive appearance at any age is very simple. How? Read history carefully Marina Kozlova Read →

The nature of low self-esteem

It is natural for every person to consider himself the most attractive, his name - the most beautiful, and his abilities the most outstanding. If the opinion about oneself is the opposite, then there is such a mental disorder as complexes. Most often, they originate in childhood and over the course of life either develop or disappear.

The peak of exacerbation of low self-esteem coincides with the period of puberty and youth, when the first attempts are made to start relationships with members of the opposite sex. Most often, it is based on the girl's dissatisfaction with her appearance. Conclusions about their unattractiveness can be based on objective facts, when there is some kind of flaw, or on subjective facts, when the data does not correspond to a far-fetched ideal.

The main causes of low self-esteem are considered to be systematic or random negative statements about the appearance of a girl by people whose opinion is considered authoritative. It can be the words of parents, relatives, teachers, friends and classmates. They are not always truthful, but are said with malicious intent, but a person who has not had time to form perceives them literally and painfully.

How to love yourself

In situations where you consider yourself ugly, stupid and uninteresting, psychologists recommend first of all to determine whether this opinion is honest. Often quite pretty women and girls tend to talk about their shortcomings in a flirtatious way and asking for compliments. They know their strengths, but voice their weaknesses in order to be refuted by those around them. An example would be a situation where a thin woman in the company of her friends calls herself fat, knowing that she will begin to convince her of the opposite.

Another thing is if a person is closed and actually hates his reflection in the mirror, considers himself scary and it is uncomfortable for him to live with his external data. Signs of sincerity of such conceit:

the desire to be invisible in any society;
problems with communication - there are few existing friends and acquaintances, and it is extremely difficult to start relationships with new ones, especially with the opposite sex;
a specific sense of humor - it is very difficult for such girls to fool around and laugh at themselves;
discomfort when discussing topics related to attractiveness, even in a circle of loved ones, which is expressed by redness of the skin, lowering of the eyes, difficulty in trying to formulate a judgment.

To all who consider themselves ugly girls and boys, experts recommend a comprehensive approach to resolving the issue.

How to stop blushing

Change of mind

First of all, you need to put things in order in your own thoughts. A professional psychologist will help with this, but if it is not possible to attend his sessions, you can try to cope on your own. A few tips to help you do this:

1. Realize that beauty is an extremely subjective concept. If we analyze and critically examine famous women who have reached heights in various fields of activity, it turns out that most of them have many shortcomings that they managed to turn into virtues. Among the many recognized beauties there are tall and short, thin and curvaceous, redheads and brunettes, dark-skinned and pale-skinned women. Each has its own feature that allows others to like it, and this is very rarely some part of the appearance.
2. Understand that if you wake up every day and think "nobody likes me," then so be it. And the reason is not at all in those features that seem disgusting - it is in the negative coming from within. All girls who are in demand among guys have one thing in common - they are in love with themselves, knowing all their shortcomings. This allows them to feel confident, carry a special charm, be easy to communicate with and correctly present their dignity and sexuality in any form: without makeup and with it, in an evening dress and in pajamas.
3. Perform the exercise: divide a sheet of paper into 2 parts, write your advantages in one, and disadvantages in the second. Be as frank as possible, especially with the second column - every person is beautiful in their own way and there are certainly qualities to be proud of. After that, you need to think about whether you can accept and love the features from the second column and how to emphasize those that are included in the first. Some are inspired by examples of stars and top models with the same flaws, their stories are easy to find in any search engine.
4. Tell yourself honestly whether the reflection in the mirror will be better if you continue to hate yourself. Decide what you can do for yourself instead of suffering. Perhaps, except for the girl herself, no one considers her ugly.
5. Sincerely discuss the problem with your mother or other loved one. Surely they will have warm, inspiring words of support.
6. Praise yourself daily for any achievement.
7. To please yourself with pleasant things - trips to interesting places, shopping, shopping, delicious coffee.
8. Constantly improve both externally and personally. Only by investing time, money and effort in yourself, you can begin to respect and love yourself.

Psychologists consider artistic photography, carried out by a professional photographer with the help of stylists, to be a good way to cope with their complexes regarding appearance. Pictures will help you look at yourself from the outside and notice your strengths.

How to forget your ex wife

Appearance

The modern beauty industry is so developed that any person can be turned into perfection in a matter of hours. A few recommendations on how to correct appearance flaws in accessible ways:

1. Problem skin of the face and body. Care procedures with a properly selected complex of cosmetics will help. It is advisable to visit a cosmetologist and a dermatologist, if necessary, undergo a medical examination to rule out health problems. The effect does not have to be lightning fast, but the skills to maintain healthy skin will come in handy for a lifetime. Birthmarks and freckles are a separate topic of conversation. People with normal self-esteem consider such "marks" to be their highlights, therefore it is recommended to eliminate this complex at the level of psychology with the help of the tips listed above.
2. Imperfect facial features - too small eyes, thin lips, a large nose, irregularly shaped eyebrows and others. The problem is partially solved by the right makeup. It is recommended to take a general or individual make-up course, where you will learn how to visually enlarge / reduce, emphasize the necessary parts of the face and hide the problematic ones.
3. Hair. Everything is simple here - proper care, a complex of vitamins, individually selected hairstyles and hats can save any situation. The variety of fashionable haircuts and coloring options is simply amazing, and everyone is able to find something to their liking.
4. Chest. This part of the body in most cases is under clothing. Any shape and size is adjusted with a suitable bra and clothing.
5. Growth. Human height is as subjective as beauty. Too short girls can influence her with heels and platform shoes, tall girls need to accept themselves and wear the shoes that they like. As many examples show, height never prevents a person from being happy in his personal life and in his professional life.
6. Clothing style. It is highly recommended to emphasize your individuality with the help of a wardrobe. You need to choose stylish things and accessories in which you are most comfortable, without thinking about the opinions of others. They do not have to be expensive and branded, the main thing is that the girl loves herself in them and she is pleased to wear them.
7. Figure. Any genetic and acquired features of the body are corrected through a healthy diet and regular exercise.
8. Other essential details. These include manicures and scents. You can take care of your nails without investing money, and a pleasant aroma is not necessarily an expensive perfume. It is important to observe the rules of personal hygiene and use antiperspirants.