Nutrition and diets 

The cry of a baby at birth. That unbearable cry of a child. Why is the baby crying? Signs of hunger in a newborn baby

The main biological significance of this cry-cry is to prevent the separation of mother and child in the first hours after birth. This is the main reason why a baby cries after giving birth.

For a newborn baby, crying is the only available way that he can communicate to his mother about his needs before gaining the gift of speech. The first cry of an infant is a plea for protection, a reaction of fear and discomfort when entering a new, unfamiliar and not very friendly environment.

What a child experiences in the process, and in the first moments after birth, can be compared with the sensations of a person who suddenly fell through the ice: loss of orientation, cold, difficulty breathing. Add to this the feeling of squeezing during the passage of the birth canal, and all this - after 9 months in the usual warm and cozy "house". That is why, in most modern maternity wards, they practice putting the baby to the breast immediately after birth (if there is no threat to the health of the baby and mother). The baby calms down, feeling the warmth of his native body, hearing the familiar sounds of his mother's heart and his mother's gentle voice.

An amazing fact: for quite a long time - up to six months after birth, and more - children often cry without tears. Especially - at night. The child, as it were, continues to sleep - the eyes are closed and there are no tears in them. This is not a cry of pain, or resentment. Simply, with the help of a variety of intonations, a little man reports some of his needs. A sensitive mother gradually begins to distinguish between different types of crying. For example, it has been observed that in pain, a child, as a rule, emits rather sharp, piercing cries with "gulfs", while hungry crying is more monotonous, begins with whimpering sounds and increases with time.

The main causes of crying in babies in the first year of life are most often: hunger, pain (the most common problem is intestinal colic and teething), uncomfortable ambient temperature, skin irritation from wet diapers, fatigue, anger (for example, as a response to the restriction of freedom movements); in addition, the baby may just be sad and lonely.

In the minds of many parents, to this day, there are various myths about children's crying, supposedly while crying, the child "develops the lungs" or "temperates the character." However, recently, psychologists are inclined to believe that there is nothing useful for the baby in prolonged crying. Rather, on the contrary: if the mother does not fit for a long time, the little man experiences increased stress - after all, his fragile world was left without protection. This can negatively affect the child's psyche. Moreover, a heart-rending cry "to the blue" can harm, even at the physiological level: cause oxygen starvation, or pathological conditions of the respiratory system. Young parents often worry about spoiling their child by reacting to every cry. Experts say: for children up to a year, there can be no talk of any "pampering". The quick reaction of parents to the needs of the child gives him a sense of security and comfort, which contributes to his harmonious development.

Now you understand why it is normal for a baby to cry after giving birth. Now let's talk about how to calm a crying newborn?

First- offer food. "Baby" best of all soothes the mother's chest. There are many reasons for this: the frequent need for nutrition, and the familiar mother's smell, and the warmth of the mother's body. The modern method of "free" breastfeeding encourages the attachment of the baby to the breast every time he shows anxiety. If breastfeeding is not possible, the mother should bottle feed the baby with her arms around her and lightly pressed against her body. After the end of feeding, you can give the child a pacifier: children who are bottle-fed more than others need to satisfy the sucking reflex.

Second- you need to make sure that the delicate skin of the child does not experience discomfort - a dirty and wet diaper, or a diaper that has slipped under the back can cause irritation. In addition, babies do not tolerate heat and cold. Therefore, parents should often check whether the clothes and bed of the child are in order. And keep an eye on how comfortable the air temperature in the room is. You should also make sure that the baby does not get hurt by his own sharp nails - mittens - "anti-scratches" - perfectly save from such troubles.

Third- to carry out a set of procedures to eliminate intestinal colic. Currently, pharmacies offer a wide range of drugs that relieve colic. But, and, "old-fashioned" methods have not been canceled: dill water, laying on the tummy, "dry heat", a light soothing massage - all this can make life easier for the little man and his parents. And, of course, for a mother who is breastfeeding, a special diet is required, excluding cabbage, peas, sweet fruits, and other foods that promote gas formation in the intestines.

Fourth the method is as old as the world, but its reliability is not in doubt: you need to carry the baby in your arms, slightly shaking. You can use a "sling" - this becomes especially relevant when the weight of the baby exceeds five kilograms.

Fifth- Sing a lullaby, or just talk to him gently. Affectionate mother's voice is a great soothing.

sixth. Many children already from the age of three months begin to worry about teething. Therefore, it is worth stocking up on various teethers and anesthetic gel in advance. Very effective teethers with a cooling effect.

seventh. Rarely, but it still happens that none of the above (and many other) methods does not work. The baby cries for a very long time and is not going to stop. Look at his physiological reactions. Perhaps crying is associated with some serious ailment. In this case, the best thing is to see a doctor.

eighth, and most importantly - do not get annoyed. Always remember that a newborn baby does not cry to disturb your sleep or test your patience. He simply does not know how to cry "out of harm". The excited state and negative mood of the parents are easily transmitted to the baby. And, in the same way, the calmness and goodwill of the mother is "absorbed" by the child, which contributes to his early falling asleep.

How to understand why a recently born baby is crying?

Should I call a doctor immediately or will I be able to cope on my own?

These questions are often asked by young mothers on forums and social networks.

The reason is ignorance of the rules of conduct. The baby is learning to live in a new space. Parents have no experience with strangers. Learn how to understand the baby, what to do to alleviate his suffering. Learn to adapt to each other.

Why can a week-old baby cry? Reasons and recommendations

Newborn children tend to attract the attention of others with a cry: they do not know how to express their needs in a different way. The crying of a baby is a manifestation of the body's reaction to pain, hunger or fear.

It is more difficult to determine the cause of a cry in a baby up to one month old. This is a period of active adaptation of the body to a new environment for a newborn child. The older the fool, the easier it is to identify the source of anxiety. After saturation, a one-month-old baby falls asleep for 1.5-2 hours. It is not uncommon for a fed infant to have other reasons for crying (such as colic).

Depending on the character and temperament, each baby shows discontent in its own way. There are temperamental children who react to minor discomfort with tens of decibels of screaming. Quiet is another matter. Patient crumbs are focused on themselves and do not seek to capture the attention of those around them. A common reaction of introverts is grunting and whimpering.

Additional help is reading the "language" of the infant's body:

  • flexion and extension of the legs;
  • hand waving;
  • facial muscle movements.


Crying child: what to do to overcome hysteria?

Many mothers are concerned about the question: “Should I take the kids in my arms?”. The answer depends on the adaptability of the infant and the cause of the discomfort. If the source of discomfort is not eliminated, it is useless to calm the child.

A time-tested technique is to take the baby in your arms, and sing a lullaby while rocking. As an option, put music in the style of “relaxation”, melodic classics. The baby will fall asleep quickly. The reverse side of the problem is that the baby learns to manipulate adults.

A prerequisite for stopping the cry is an even mood. Parents are strictly prohibited from shouting, threatening and waving their arms. In this case, the baby's natural reaction is increased crying, increased intracranial pressure and temperature.

An incomplete list of motives for screaming:

  1. hunger;
  2. weather dependence;
  3. overflowing with impressions or insufficiency;
  4. unsuitable conditions for sleep and wakefulness;
  5. neglect of parental responsibilities;
  6. inattention, fatigue and insecurity of young parents;
  7. sensations of the crumbs caused by painful manifestations:
  • underdevelopment of some organs: gastrointestinal tract (GIT), foreskin;
  • allergic reactions on the skin, cuts, dislocations, wounds;
  • postpartum complications;
  • heredity.

How to understand the cause by the sounds of a crying baby under one month old?

There are several techniques that study the crying of newborns. Experts observed the behavior of babies at home. The cries were examined for persistence, duration, irritability, and frequency of sounds. An interesting observation: no characteristic differences were found in newborn boys and girls.

Types of baby cry

  • whimpering: intermittent, monotonous; it is immediately evident that the child is pushing to produce sounds;
  • invocative: by the nature of the tones it is similar to a whimpering one, but the baby is crying without visible effort;
  • plaintive: quiet, continuous, hysterical, grunting sound;
  • intense: powerful, loud, often starts with a low timbre, gradually moves to high sounds, often with choking.

The nature of the cry depends on the cause.

  1. Crying from hunger begins with the whimpering of a child. If there is no response, the volume increases and the frequency decreases. At the last stage, the scream turns into a continuous roar.
  2. Crying from pain - plaintive, if the malaise is mild - whimpering. In sudden onset pain, the timbre and volume are intense. Sometimes crying goes into a hysterical phase. An immediate reaction is required from parents if crying suddenly stops - this is an alarm signal that requires a parental response. Better to call an ambulance.
  3. Crying from fear begins with the sounds of the upper register: loud, often immediately with choking.
  4. Crying from discomfort not related to pain - whimpering.

What to do when a newborn baby cries often?

In fashion - recommendations to adhere to a strict regimen: get up by the hour, feed, walk, bathe. This is taught in schools to young mothers, advised when discharged from the hospital, written in books and the media. Many guides explaining the reasons for the behavior of the baby. In practice, young parents are faced with the ineffectiveness of recommendations.


The human body is a complex system, each person has its own characteristics. The recommendations of pediatricians are based on statistics. The behavior of a particular child differs from the actions of peers. Parents should take into account the developments of pediatricians, but draw final conclusions - taking into account the individuality of the baby.

How do most babies report hunger, inappropriate conditions, diaper rash, colic?

Signs of hunger in a newborn baby

A common cause of undernourishment of the crumbs is the lack of experience of the parents. The body of a temperamental child with good heredity requires a lot of energy. In a sickly and quiet baby, motor activity is lower, the need for mother's milk is less pronounced.

The causes of malnutrition include the scarcity of milk production. It is important for mothers to identify the cause of crying in time by adding artificial mixtures to the diet. Another source of crying is profuse regurgitation of milk during or after feeding.

The baby shows hunger by behavior:

  • makes sounds resembling grumbling;
  • starts to act up;
  • turns into loud and almost continuous crying.

Characteristic signs of crying: a newborn baby opens its mouth and smacks its lips slightly.

There are two verification methods.

  1. Attach a bent little finger to the lips of a child lying in a stroller. If the baby is hungry, this will be reported by his restless behavior, turning his head in different directions, stretching the body after the finger.
  2. When the mother takes the baby in her arms, the baby is restlessly looking for the breast.

Climatic conditions

In adults, the skin is a barrier that prevents overheating or hypothermia. In infants, the function of heat transfer is in the formative stage. Infants react sharply to any change in temperature.

Some babies tolerate heat well, but are sensitive to coolness, while others are the other way around. One of the “barometers” for determining temperature parameters is the wrist of a newborn baby.

The characteristic signs of hypothermia include: first - plaintive crying, then - the occurrence of hiccups. The hiccups periodically turn into a sobbing cry.

The appearance of the skin is pale. When applying the palm - a noticeable cooling of the skin of the child.

A newborn baby who is overheated has purple skin. Instinctively, a newborn baby kicks its legs and waves its arms. If the baby is swaddled, it will begin to bend. Manifestations of overheating - loud choking crying.

Some infants are weather dependent from birth. They react sharply to phenomena to which the baby, due to little life experience, has not adapted:

  • thaw to frost;
  • heat to cold.

Important indicators: wind force, pressure, air humidity.


Diaper rash in a newborn baby

A common cause of crying is wet diapers. The emptying of the stomach (or bladder) is reported by a newborn child with grunting, which gradually turns into an intense cry. If the parents do not react quickly enough, irritations occur in the perineum, buttocks and leg creases. To relieve itching, the baby pulls to the priest and combs the genitals.

A sign of wet diapers: the child twists, fidgets on the bed, trying to move to another place. If the hands are free, the fold or edge of the diaper is enough.

  • instead of reusable diapers, use gauze, cotton diapers, old sheets;
  • after each emptying of the bladder (or stomach) - lubricate wounds and diaper rash with a special cream or medicinal preparation.

If skin irritations are noticeable, but no wounds appear, use special diapers (with biological products) intended for night rest.


Crying from colic

Colic is pain in the form of spasms, to which a newborn baby reacts by crying. Typical for children from birth to 3-4 months. When feeding, the baby swallows air. The baby eats a lot: enzymes do not have time to digest all the food entering the stomach. Gases are formed. As the body adapts, the quantity and quality of enzymes begins to correspond to the mass of food.

Each child has characteristic signs and the period of occurrence of colic. For some children it is early in the morning, for others it is in the afternoon, and for others it is in the evening. With colic, most babies drop their breasts and start screaming.

External manifestations of anxiety from colic: redness of the skin, a loud choking cry. Released from the diaper, the baby swings his legs and arms with great energy.

The method of calming is in finding a position that brings relief to a newborn child. One child calms down in a classic position: lying in a horizontal position in his mother's arms. Others prefer the “column” position (when the baby’s head rests on the parent’s shoulder or rests on the chin).

A good result: put something warm on the newborn's stomach, such as an ironed diaper or a warm heating pad. Alternatively, tie a woolen scarf around the body.

These are the most likely reasons for the constant crying of children under the age of 1-3 months. Parents need:

  • to study the achievements of specialists;
  • monitor the condition of the newborn child;
  • check with your pediatrician regularly.

A woman throughout the entire period of the birth process is waiting for the very first cry of the child, which will indicate the completion of childbirth and the fact that her baby is now with her. Most women, of course, know that the louder the newborn cries, the healthier he is. In fact, everything is somewhat different and the cry of a child means only that he is physiologically mature. During the entire time that the child is in the womb of the mother, his glottis is very tightly closed. This is to ensure that amniotic fluid does not enter the baby's respiratory system. Even immediately after birth, this gap is still closed, and with the help of the first cry, which occurs due to exhalation from the narrowed gap, he opens it and begins to breathe.

In no case should you trust folk signs that say that the first cry of a child is his attitude to what surrounds him at the moment. Some of the old women may say that the child cries immediately after birth because he knows how hard his life will be. Do not believe all this, because these are just another tales and they have no scientific basis.

Scientists, on the contrary, argue that the cry of a newborn is not a signal that he feels pain or any discomfort. It is worth noting that for a certain period of time, newborns are generally unable to feel pain. It's just that most of the kids, after a few weeks, begin to understand that it is thanks to a loud cry that they will be able to achieve what they want. That is why they can so often use their advantage.

In order to hear your baby crying immediately after birth, you need to be very responsible not only to the birth process, but also directly to pregnancy. Of course, not every woman is fully aware of everything that happens to her body for nine months. Most of them hope that everything will turn out fine by itself. In fact, everything is somewhat different, and in order for pregnancy and childbirth to go smoothly, you need to prepare for them in advance.

Especially carefully you need to follow all the recommendations of doctors and obstetricians during the last weeks of pregnancy. During this time, you should prepare more mentally for the most important event in your life. You need to relax as much as possible, get exceptionally positive emotions and, of course, walk a lot in the fresh air. If you sleep little, get nervous a lot, get tired and lead an unhealthy lifestyle, then this may well provoke even premature birth, which of course will affect the health of not only yours, but first of all the child. As statistics show, it is premature babies who are weaker than those who were born on time are most at risk of developing pathologies in the first minutes of life.

Do not forget to regularly take tests and be examined. This must be done before conception in order to minimize the risk of conceiving an unhealthy child. After all, if a mother has any infections in her body that can be completely safe for her, then at the same time they can cause irreparable harm to the health of a fragile newborn baby. It is worth noting that infection with infection in almost all cases occurs precisely during childbirth, when the child passes through the birth canal.

Throughout your pregnancy, go through check-ups and follow the doctor's recommendations, and then, after nine months, you will be able to enjoy the healthy and loud cry of your tiny creature.

The site provides reference information for informational purposes only. Diagnosis and treatment of diseases should be carried out under the supervision of a specialist. All drugs have contraindications. Expert advice is required!

Healthy newborn: general information, birth weight, concepts of premature and postterm newborn

Healthy is considered newborn born at 37-42 weeks, with a birth weight of 2.5-4.0 kg, who does not need resuscitation and does not reveal any physical defects at the first examination by a neonatologist in the delivery room.

If the baby was born at 36 weeks and 6 days or earlier, he is considered premature, if more than 42 full weeks - post-term. The gestational age is calculated from the first day of the woman's last menstrual period and is measured in weeks. Conditions of prematurity and postmaturity are often associated with many different diseases, including life-threatening ones, so such children must be observed by an experienced neonatologist.

Babies weighing less than 2.5 kg are underweight, while those over 4 kg are large. Even if the baby was born on time, its weight may not be normal. Such children also require closer attention and in-depth examination.

Height, circumference of the head and chest of the newborn

In addition to body weight in the delivery room, a newborn is measured with a stadiometer and centimeter tape for body length and circumference of the head and chest. These indicators allow us to assess the harmony of the physical development of the child, to identify some hereditary diseases, endocrine pathology and damage to the central nervous system.

Normally, the growth of a newborn at birth is 45-56 cm. On average, about 50 cm. It is logical that premature babies have a lower height - this is not a sign of inharmonious development.

The circumference of the chest is measured with a centimeter tape, which is applied behind the corners of the shoulder blades (the lowest point of the shoulder blade), and in front above the nipples. The normal values ​​for the circumference of the chest of a full-term newborn are 33-35 cm.

To measure the circumference of the head, it is necessary to put a centimeter tape on the back of the most protruding point of the back of the head, and draw it in front directly above the eyebrows. Normally, this figure is 33 - 37.5 cm, it should not exceed the circumference of the chest by more than 2-4 cm. Head measurement is an indispensable procedure in the diagnosis of diseases of the central nervous system. During the first week of life, the head should be measured every day. Normally, during the first month of life, the head grows no more than 3-4 cm, if the head grows more intensively (more than 0.3 - 0.5 cm per day) - this indicates the development of hydrocephalus, a very serious disease. This rule does not work for children of the first days of life. During the first 24 hours, the circumference of the head may increase by 1.0 - 1.5 cm - this head restores its normal shape after passing through the narrow birth canal.

First cry of a newborn

Immediately after birth, the child freezes for a few seconds, does not respond to any external stimuli. This condition is called "catharsis" of the newborn. Some philosophers believe that it is at this moment that the soul is laid in the child. After that, the newborn takes the first breath and makes the first cry. The first cry of a newborn should be sonorous and emotional. And most importantly, the baby should scream within the first 30 seconds after birth. If this does not happen, he needs resuscitation.

Apgar score

At the end of the first and fifth minutes of a child's life, a neonatologist assesses the child's condition on the Apgar scale according to 5 signs: skin color, breathing, heartbeat, muscle tone and reflexes. The maximum possible score is 10 points. A newborn with Apgar scores greater than or equal to 7/7 is considered healthy. If the score is lower, the child needs urgent resuscitation. This means he may need supplemental oxygen to breathe, mechanical ventilation and chest compressions. In these cases, the baby is taken away from the mother and the whole complex of resuscitation continues until the child's condition stabilizes.

The first meeting of the newborn with the mother: skin-to-skin contact

Immediately after birth, a healthy newborn is wiped dry with a diaper, put on a hat and socks to prevent heat loss and laid on the mother's stomach. The mother and child are covered with a common blanket, so that the contact between them is “skin to skin”. Such close contact should last at least 1.5-2 hours. All necessary procedures associated with the first toilet of a newborn can be postponed, and the first examination by a neonatologist takes place right on the mother’s chest. This simple procedure has been reliably proven to reduce morbidity in the neonatal period, promote the production of milk in the mother and the formation of the maternal instinct.

First feeding of a newborn

Being on the mother's stomach, the newborn usually finds the breast on his own or with the help of a midwife and begins to suck within the first half hour. The first feeding should not be forced: the breast should be offered forcefully, but not aggressively. Some babies are not ready to start eating right away, just holding them to the chest is enough.

Body temperature of the newborn

The body temperature of a newborn is usually measured 15 minutes after birth, and then 2 hours later, when the mother and child have already been transferred to the shared room. Normal body temperature is 36.5-37 C. In the first hours after birth, the child is prone to hypothermia. To avoid this, the newborn always wear a hat and socks. Loose clothing and skin-to-skin contact will also help keep you warm. And tight swaddling and bathing, on the contrary, contribute to hypothermia of the newborn, so many maternity hospitals have already abandoned these practices.
In the following days, the child is already more prone to overheating. If a newborn has a fever, first of all it is very necessary to evaluate: is he dressed too warmly?

newborn skin color

Immediately after birth, the skin of a newborn has a bluish tint. The first breath saturates the blood with oxygen and the skin begins to turn pink. In the first hours of life, a slight blue of the hands and feet may persist, which gradually disappears. After an hour and a half, many newborns have bright red skin. This is not a pathology, but is associated with the peculiarity of the development of capillaries. In full-term newborns, redness disappears on the second day, in premature babies it lasts longer. The most frightening sign is the pallor of the skin. White skin in newborns is always a severe pathology.

Head shape and fontanel

In a newborn, the head is often asymmetrical (only babies born by caesarean section can boast of a perfectly even head). Often a large dense bump is noticeable on it. This is the so-called "birth tumor". It will resolve on its own in a few days without any treatment. Single points of hemorrhage on the birth tumor are not a cause for concern. The same small hemorrhages can be in the eyes, especially if the birth was long and difficult. They also go away on their own over time.

Slightly above the forehead along the midline of the head, the newborn has a soft pliable area - a large fontanel. In this place, the cranial vault is not yet fully ossified. The normal size of a large fontanel is 1-3 cm. A larger fontanel can occur in premature, immature children, as well as with an increase in intracranial pressure (in this case, it also swells). Children with a small fontanel usually develop normally, only in some cases this leads to the development of a neurological problem. Some neuropediatricians prescribe to such children "crying for 5 minutes - 3 times a day." During crying, intracranial pressure rises and the bones of the skull "diverge", contributing to the growth of the head.

Breath of a newborn

The newborn breathes irregularly. Breathing may be absent for several seconds, and then replaced by a series of very rapid respiratory movements. Sometimes the child takes a convulsive breath, followed by a noisy long exhalation. Over time, these breaths become less and less. The respiratory rate is normally 30-60 per minute. The number of breaths more than 60 per minute indicates severe lung damage.

The concept of the tone of the newborn: "embryo position" and hypotension

Normally, the arms and legs of the child are in a bent position, symmetrical, the hands are clenched into fists, the head is somewhat brought to the body, this is the “fetal position”, characteristic of the first months of life.
If the child is lethargic, "soft", arms and legs hang freely - this is an unfavorable symptom, which is called "muscular hypotension". It can be found in diseases of the nervous system, infections of the newborn and other serious diseases.

Sleep and wakefulness

A newborn baby sleeps up to 20 hours a day. Waking periods are usually limited to feedings. An awakened child randomly sorts out his arms and legs. The eyes may be closed for the first few days. If they are open, the eyeballs move as if the child wants to fix the gaze, but he does not succeed. Sometimes a slight strabismus can be noticed, which goes away on its own by the end of the first week and does not require treatment.

First stool and urination

A baby's first stool is called meconium. It is viscous, black, reminiscent of tar. Normally, meconium should pass on the first day, if meconium has not passed, doctors choose expectant tactics on the second day. If the intestines are not emptied even then, the child is additionally examined to identify the causes of this pathological condition and its correction. Very rarely, in healthy children, meconium leaves on the third day.

Sometimes meconium passes prematurely while still in the womb. In this case, gynecologists talk about "dirty amniotic fluid." This often occurs with intrauterine infection of the fetus and if the mother received narcotic painkillers or "medicated sleep" during childbirth.
This is a rather dangerous condition, since meconium can enter the respiratory tract and disrupt the respiratory activity of the newborn.

In the first 3 days, the newborn rarely urinates, 2-4 times a day. The first urination usually takes place between 12 and 24 hours of age. Gradually, the number of urination increases, reaching 20-25 times by the 7-10th day of life.

If the newborn is sick?

What if the newborn does not meet the health criteria above? Do not panic! Many diseases of the neonatal period, diagnosed in time and properly treated, pass without leaving consequences for the unborn child. Trust the health of your children to qualified professionals, but do not forget about your role. Any neonatologist will confirm that 90% of success in treating a newborn is proper care, care and attention from the mother and other relatives, and only 10% falls on the shoulders of a specialist.

Health - what is it? WHO definition of health.

The World Health Organization (WHO) gives a very wise, philosophical definition of "health". According to WHO, health is not only the absence of physical defects and diseases, but a state of complete physical, psychological and social well-being. WHO experts focus on the second part of the definition and emphasize that the love, care and attention of loved ones are indispensable in maintaining the health of children. Even a sick child, surrounded by motherly affection, has a chance to feel healthy.

It is known that the cry is born together with the person. And he appeared much earlier than speech. This is an attribute of human self-preservation. Even the ancients understood that if a tribesman was lost, then his loud cry would be heard far away and they would come to the rescue. If danger threatens or something has happened, then by shouting you can attract help and scare off the enemy. Through a cry, a person manifests his deepest feelings and emotions, instincts.

Baby crying in children under two years of age

Every new parent is well aware that the baby will scream and cry. Moms find out that the baby screams from hunger, from the desire to communicate, from the fact that the diaper is wet, and so on. But what to do if the baby screams for no reason at all? He is dry, he ate, he recently woke up, they play with him, the doctors assure that he is completely healthy ... What else does he need? Why is he crying, no, even just screaming loudly? Experienced specialists in children's problems immediately tell the mother: "Be patient, you got such a child! It will outgrow." And good people will give a million recipes. And if you ask on the Internet ... Well, every mother who has encountered a problem knows herself ...

There is no reliable information about the reasons why a child cries for no reason in the first year after birth. Only assumptions are made: stress during the mother's pregnancy, difficult childbirth, poor nutrition, lifestyle and age of the mother ... . They also say that this is the maturation of the nervous system in a child. But, of course, the constant cries of a child, especially without obvious reasons, is a difficult test for the nervous system of all family members. Especially for fathers.

If a child cries, it means he is sick. It is a fact. What is wrong with him and why he perceives something so, we do not know. And, as it sometimes turns out in the process of going to the doctors, no one knows this. It is clear that the child screams primarily from his helplessness, that he (and no one else) can save him from something that he perceives as "I feel bad." We were all once small children, and we all experienced more or less the same emotions and feelings of helplessness when we were infants. We may not remember this time. But precisely because an adult perceives the cry of a child as unbearable sounds that one wants to drown out in any way, it means that his unconscious mind perfectly remembers those times when he himself was like that. And an adult does not want to face with all his being that inner little child of his, who also suffered and, perhaps, also screamed, like his son or daughter. As much as an adult person repels, does not recognize and does not accept the presence of that infantile experience in himself, when he himself cried and screamed, does not want to recognize and see him, so he experiences irritation, anger, anger, helplessness when heart-rending cries of a child are heard. With a high level of rejection, a person may even experience clouding of reason, so as not to see in himself the experience of helplessness and feeling "bad" that he experienced in infancy. Therefore, from a psychological point of view, those cruel actions (or the desire to commit such actions) of parents in relation to their young children that they commit during children's tantrums or are understandable. Although from a human and pedagogical point of view, this is completely unacceptable, especially since in a normal state this person would hardly have committed violence. Also in this state of affect, an adult can transfer his anger and feelings of powerlessness from the child to himself or to some object with varying degrees of destructive consequences. For example, out of anger, hit your hand on the door frame and break your wrist.

That is why men are much more intolerant and very annoyed when they hear a child's unreasonable cry. In men, strength, independence, the possibility of action are much higher in the line of personal priorities than in women. Therefore, it is much more difficult for fathers to accept and realize their own, even if they were in the past, impotence, lack of independence, the inability to change anything in their situation.

Parents who have more than three children are said to "not hear" their children's screams, they are just used to it. In fact, of course, they hear and react to it, but with each child they (consciously or not) plunged into their own sensations of the infant state and accepted them at the level of emotions and feelings. And, in the end, the cry ceased to be something painful and unbearable for them.

Another reason why parents (more often this applies to mothers) cannot endure an infant's cry is an acute sense of guilt that a mother experiences in relation to her baby. It seems to her that the child is screaming because she did something wrong, that she can do something, but does not do it, that she does not fulfill her role as a mother. She thinks: "After all, a good mother has a child calm and contented, and since my baby is screaming. So I am a bad mother." But after all, mom knows for sure that she is doing everything possible and even impossible for her baby, but he still screams. So the feeling of guilt turns into anger at the child and anger at his cries. In this case, it will help mom if she gives herself the right to be an imperfect mother and understands that her child has reasons for crying that she is not able to influence.

How often does the thought creep into the parent's head that his child is yelling incessantly, out of spite, out of harm and intolerable character? The concept of "out of spite" contains a certain malicious intent, a degree of understanding and awareness that now I will do something on purpose to annoy another person. Every mother whose child is prone to causeless screams can try herself on purpose, as if to spite someone, to scream, adhering to the time frame that her child screams. Most likely, mom won’t be enough for a long time, and she just physically won’t be able to scream so much. Rather, a mother can scream for a long time if she has accumulated fatigue, impotence, anger, the inability to change anything. And a satisfied, calm mother will not be able to scream for a long time on purpose, because she will not have the incentive and motivation to scream for a long time. From this simple experiment, we can conclude that a child’s cry is provoked by some of his deeply personal features of his psyche and the way he feels the surrounding space and people. And, of course, he does not have any of his evil will and deliberately harmful attitude towards the family. He's sick and that's why he screams.

Mom, like other family members, can do a lot to help the baby. Her participation and indifference to children's suffering, no matter how tired she herself is from endless screams, will be of great help to the child along with prolonged breastfeeding, wearing in a sling, carrying in her arms, a kind voice and a loving look directed to the child. Frequent tactile communication of the baby with any of the parents can be a good sedative. This is such an ancient type of communication, embedded in the human genetic memory, along with breastfeeding, that even the most noisy and restless baby can understand it. Any strokes on a naked body, pressing his skin to your own can have a truly magical effect. Mom needs to understand that a child under three years old is very susceptible to the mental state of all the people who surround him, and especially to his mother. Therefore, you should not add your own to children's mental problems: increased anxiety, clarification of relationships in the family, conflicts, quarrels, etc.

After two years: crying and screaming

A small child of two years old is traveling on a train with his mother. He runs around the car in complete delight from this wonderful state, when everything rattles and shakes, spreading his arms and shouting at the top of his voice, trying to drown out the sound of the wheels. Mom snatches him out of the corridor into her compartment and from there a scolding stern voice is heard: “How many times have I told you, don’t scream! Don’t run around the car screaming! Sit here with me.” Naturally, the baby’s sobs follow.

You can often hear how mothers say to their children: "Don't scream!", "Speak calmly!", "Speak with words that you yell!" It turns out that children are forbidden to show what even before the appearance of the very concept of "man" people had when they ran through the trees with their tails - a scream. Shouting is considered indecent, it is shameful to disturb others, the child must behave ... and so on.

The system of bans on screaming and loudly declaring oneself comes to the point that recently special trainings have appeared in which people are taught, provoked, forced to scream at the top of their voices, because. for decades, their parents, educators, and teachers discouraged and suppressed the right and ability to scream. This is sitting at the computer, it may seem that shouting at the top of your voice with all your might is easy. And if on some day off a person finds himself alone in the forest and says to himself: “Shout!”, then there is a high probability that such a weak one will pour out of his mouth: “Eeeeeee ...”, not at all like the triumphant cry of Tarzan.

The consequences of the fact that from a young age there are total prohibitions on screaming, and indeed on any noisy manifestation of oneself, are manifested in the blocking of energy centers located in the throat area, which in turn leads to blocking of creative abilities, various diseases in this part of the body. There are special methods of singing, similar to screaming, voice exercises that reduce the degree of energy clamping, and illnesses go away on their own.

Children's screams make the adult feel his own blockage, and because it is very painful and unpleasant, the adult feels angry, wants to run away or do anything to make the child shut up. Therefore, if a child is forbidden to scream and behave noisily, then when he grows up, most likely, he will not be able to endure the noisy and loud manifestations of his own offspring.

So, the child grows up and miraculously for some time he stops screaming. Mom, with relief, tries to forget the time of screaming, which is finally over. But some families are less fortunate. The child already understands a lot of things, learns to speak, can convey his thoughts with gestures, but does not stop screaming. He screams when he is tired, when he wants to sleep or eat, when something does not work out for him, when he wants to achieve something from his parents, he screams with tears or not for any reason, when he himself considers it necessary to scream.

It is believed that if a child, by any of his unacceptable behavior for parents, such as screaming, puts any pressure on the people around him, then he has formed a stereotype of behavior that needs to be worked on with pedagogical methods. Often, mothers are advised to apply ignorance to their screaming child (go to another room, do not look at the child, make an indifferent face) and the immutability of the word she said. If you already said no, then shout, do not shout - this is final, know that you will not achieve anything by shouting.

A child, by his nature, cannot express many of his inner unconscious and invisible problems in words. He can only use the most ancient way of expressing himself in the human arsenal - screaming. Shouting is always a signal "I feel bad!". And it does not matter whether the mother understands the reasons that the child is ill (tired, hungry, offended) or not. He himself does not know what and why he needs, but he makes desperate cries.

It is known that a baby from birth to five years of age, on an unconscious level, lays his attitude to the world around him and his idea of ​​​​how the world around him relates to him. Naturally, for an infant, his parents, the family are the very model from which the projection is taken for this "loading". Now they say that his personal picture of the world is being formed.

So what kind of picture of the world does a mother form in a child when she ignores the cries of the child? I repeat, this is a signal "I feel bad!". He unconsciously puts the information "no matter how you ask for help, you still won't achieve anything, the world is indifferent to your problems and difficulties." And it depends on a huge number of other factors whether this feeling will become the leading one in an adult or whether it will be smoothed out and leveled by other favorable circumstances of life. And who knows if this aspect of relations with the world, formed by the external environment of a small person, is not fundamental at the moment when teenage children, without any explanation and seemingly because of a trifle, attempt suicide? ..

What, then, lays in the picture of the world of the child the immutability and rigidity of the mother's "no" or "yes"? It's easy to guess. A grown-up person with such a parental policy absorbs only one thing: "you cannot change those circumstances that you do not like, in the way that you choose for this; you don’t even have to try" And what else, besides screaming and crying, can a small child choose child? "Only if you behave as adults want you to, can you achieve and receive something from them (and in the future from the world and from life"). And is it really possible to be surprised at the number of people around us who do not want to do anything and achieve maturing children? Each of them contains the installation: "Why declare yourself, it's pointless. Yes, I don't know for a long time what I want from this life." And besides, the protest that arises in the soul of a small child when his natural behavior (and crying is the most natural and ancient form of self-expression) is not accepted? When you have to pretend to be accepted by your parents. Everyone knows that the most common forms of protest are bad studies, bad company, any kind of drugs, alcohol, extreme pastimes and antisocial behavior.

Of course, the mother does not need to immediately think about the terrible, one should not worry that by somehow ignoring her or a firm “no”, she has already brought unnecessary information and a negative attitude into the unconscious of the child. We are all human, and sometimes the cry of a child is really unbearable. We are talking here about a tough and systematic educational policy, which is carried out in relation to the baby by all members of his family, especially significant for him - parents and especially beloved relatives.

Over time, the effect of using ignoring the cries of the child and a firm "no" can make life extremely easier for the mother and save her from unbearable screams and violent pressure on her from the side of the child. But every adult should definitely be aware of the consequences that their regular use for a long time has on the mental health of the baby in the future.

And for those mothers who still consider it possible to have these techniques in their pedagogical arsenal and sometimes use them in rare cases and for a change, it is worth imagining such a situation. For example, her husband comes, and her mother wants to achieve something. No matter what, we all want something from each other sometimes. And now my mother, not seeing the opportunity to quickly and immediately receive this from her husband, breaks into a cry. And the husband defiantly leaves the room and leaves her alone to scream further, and even says: “Since you get what you want by shouting, then you won’t see what you want from me. It’s said no, that means no!” Can you imagine how an adult mother feels? Most likely, a deep resentment that a person close to her, instead of understanding that she broke into a cry from emotions that overwhelmed her, and not out of ill will, pays attention not to what she wants to convey to him, but to how she herself shows. And behind the offense, perhaps, there will be anger and anger that they do not see a living person in her with their shortcomings and characteristics, and a desire to somehow take revenge. How would mom want her husband to behave with her when she herself breaks into a scream? Probably so that he would take her hand or hug her, saying at the same time: “My dear, I understand that you are not in a very good mood. It is difficult for me to talk to you when you scream. I also start to get nervous and angry. Let's calm down, And then we'll talk and we'll definitely come to some kind of compromise." So why shouldn't mom say something similar to her baby when he demands something from her and breaks into a scream?

Growing up, the child will definitely learn other forms and ways to express himself, he will stop screaming for no reason or screaming because of invented nonsense. He will observe and learn from his parents understanding of the various conditions of people and patience. He will have a strong feeling that his parents accept him exactly as he is. And he is free to choose any of the ways to manifest himself, even the triumphant cry of Tarzan.

Victoria Karabanova