Gender role of men and women. Family: the role of a man in a modern family
Now there are a lot of articles that talk about the duties of a woman, about how she should behave, what qualities of character to develop, how to look and what mistakes to avoid if she wants to be happy in family life. For most women, such advice and recommendations cause a storm of protest and indignation. But it's time to finally reveal all the cards. If a woman behaves like a woman, then a man begins to behave like a man. If a woman fulfills her duties, then this inspires a man to fulfill his masculine ones. In a word, her changes are inevitably followed by his changes, precisely those that elevate a woman to the top of a happy family life. In order to have an incentive to change, show wisdom and develop femininity, let's see how a man who is used to a lazy and irresponsible life (for example) can change.
So, your truly feminine behavior awakens strong, strong-willed qualities of character in a man. You, like a neck, gently turn your head in the right direction. And a man takes responsibility, makes decisions, solves problems.
The role of a man in the family:
2. Getter. Bringing food into the house is the task of a man, preparing dinner from them is the task of a woman. To build or buy housing is the task of a man, to create comfort and coziness in it is a woman’s task. To bring a cloth to his wife is the task of a man, to sew clothes from it is a woman’s task. In a word, the financial support of the family is the prerogative of the stronger sex. Releasing a woman from this obligation, he gives her time and opportunity to raise and educate children, build their cozy nest, and if a woman really wants to, then work. But not for money, but for pleasure.
3. Defender. Protecting your family from danger is a man's duty. It requires physical strength, moral and emotional stability, courage and fearlessness. And dangers in our modern world can await us at every turn. They can hide in loved ones or strangers, dark streets, life situations.
All these roles of a man in the family are designed to free a woman from stress, protect her health, her beauty, energy, and strength. Her time. And if we behave like a woman, then even the most cowardly and uninitiated man will feel the strength to become a leader, earner and protector for his beloved.
The key to a healthy relationship- this is the correct and harmonious distribution of rights and duties between spouses.
The role of men and women in the family is historically determined in view of biological prerequisites, mental characteristics and social nature.
The modern world is strikingly different from the primitive communities in which the image of the family was formed. But to completely ignore the natural pattern of interaction between a man and a woman, radically changing the roles - bad for marriage.
Who is the head of the family?
Any community of people need a leader who will coordinate actions, resolve disputes, and then take responsibility for the consequences of the decisions made.
The same principle works in the family. Only here in the family the "leader" is called the "head of the family."
But headship does not mean that the leader's word is undeniable law for all household members.
Family members have the right to make their own proposals, reject or accept the opinion of the head of the family, give advice, etc. And the spouse who plays the role of leader should listen to the opinion of everyone, and then work out compromise solution.
In questions that do not imply a compromise or a clear answer, the word of the head of the family will be decisive. This is a responsible and heavy privilege.
Traditionally, the head of the family is a man, who for many centuries was provider and protector. But in the conditions of modern economic and social equality of the sexes, the concept of “head of the family” has changed (and in some families it has been abolished).
The leader may be:
- hidden;
- explicit.
Explicit The head of the family is the spouse, whose leadership is recognized by all family members.
He directs all processes within the cell of society openly and with legal rights.
Hidden a leader is a spouse who positions himself as a “lower in rank”, but at the same time, with the help of manipulation or by agreement, promotes his opinions and decisions through a clear leader.
This moment can be traced very well through the saying “The husband is the head, the wife is the neck. Wherever the neck turns, the head will look there.
Those. often in families the palm is in the hands of a man. And a wise woman agrees with the routine, but pushes her husband to such conclusions that she considers correct. "She speaks with her husband's lips and creates with her husband's hands."
gender roles
Family systems based on gender roles. These roles are formed under the influence of the cultural norms of society and are a kind of "template" of behavior, dictating standards of behavior to the participants in society.
Entering into family relationships, a person already understands what role he will occupy. What can be done and what cannot be done.
So little girls from a young age they explain that in the future they will become wives and keepers of the hearth.
A boys talk about the need to develop physical strength and master the profession in order to protect and support the family.
This also includes attitudes like “a woman should not argue with men, with such a character you will receive from her husband” or “you can’t pull girls by pigtails, you are the future head of the family, you must protect the weaker sex.”
Purpose and functions
Men
material support. The duty of a man in the family is the material support of the cell of society. The income should cover all the basic expenses of a modern family (food, housing, clothing, utility services, etc.).
Of course, sometimes a woman earns more than her husband. But a man who cannot give birth and feed children is ideally suited for the role of breadwinner (and most likely will try it on when his wife goes on maternity leave, even being economically passive).
Social prerequisites also dictate their terms, and the stronger sex is often offered more responsible and highly paid positions.
Protection. Family protection is an important function. Men are stronger than women physically. They are also more emotionally balanced and have a mathematical mindset.
Therefore, a real representative of the stronger sex, in case of danger, will take the blow, whether it is a blow in the literal or figurative sense.
A husband should not shift the responsibility for solving problems to a fragile wife.
Solving technical issues (household function). Everything is quite simple here. A man must fix a shelf in time, connect a new washing machine, and solve problems with leaking batteries.
strategic function. A man is a strategist by nature. He must solve important issues for the family together with his wife. But, as a rule, women simply offer options and a big picture of solving problems. And men build strategies, a precise plan of action, etc.
internal function. A father should be family-oriented, albeit to a lesser extent than a woman. A man spends most of his life at work, being at home only in the evenings.
But when he spends time with his family, he should delve as much as possible into internal affairs, joys and disappointments.
Parenting- this is the jewelry work that the mother does. It is the woman who daily corrects the behavior of the child, using rewards / punishments / explanations for this.
But a man should not ignore the child. He sets the course for education, evaluates the behavior of the child, and in some cases even represents the "highest court" or "capital punishment" as an authoritative member of the family.
Women
The function of reproduction of offspring. A woman bears and gives birth to children, nurtures and educates them.
This function is available only to the beautiful half of humanity.
And since ladies are more family-oriented, they invest more time and effort directly into education than a man. Sitting on maternity leave, a woman is constantly with the baby.
And the man who at this time financially provides for the family does not have the opportunity to devote much time to the child.
home function. If a man traditionally solves technical issues and problems in the family that require the application of physical strength, then a woman takes care of comfort. Cooking, washing, ironing and cleaning fall on the fragile shoulders of the wife.
But even if a woman delegates all the work to domestic staff, she must “invest” in creating comfort.
Fresh flowers on the windowsill, new curtains or embroidered napkins on the table create the feeling that the hostess had a hand in everything.
Save function. A man is an aggressor who achieves his goals and spends energy in the external environment. In the family, his energy is replenished and preserved by a woman. She does this through affection, encouragement, admiration, stimulation.
List of responsibilities
Man's Responsibilities:
Woman's Responsibilities:
- housekeeping (cooking food, keeping order, etc.);
- activities (the wife is not obliged to provide for the family and work, but must have a hobby so as not to get bogged down in everyday life);
- parenting;
- emotional support for a husband;
- preservation of the moral character of the family.
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How to properly distribute?
We are all different and unique. There is no single scheme for the division of family responsibilities.
For example, somewhere the spouse loves to repair household appliances and literally meditates during this process, and the husband does not like to mess with household appliances.
In another family the man cooks well and from early childhood dreamed of becoming a cook.
But his wife is so tired of caring for two years that she categorically refuses to cook.
And in each of these situations, the spouses satisfied with their duties.
So how do you share responsibilities? Take as a basis the traditional scheme of distribution of responsibilities in the family (for men and women).
Adjust this scheme based on what each spouse prefers to do. And of course, do not forget to help your soulmate, "replacing" your loved one in certain positions if necessary.
Example: The wife in the family cooks, and the husband picks up the children from school. But one day the man was detained at work.
The mother went to pick up the kids, spending three hours on it (the husband left by car in the morning, and the wife went by public transport). By the time the family returned, the man had already cooked dinner, as he got home a little earlier than his wife.
The presented example perfectly illustrates how to properly distribute responsibilities in the family, based on the principle of mutual assistance.
Role table
Main family roles:
This is the basic scheme on which the distribution of roles is built, and based on which you can achieve harmony in the family.
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Distribution Methods
There are many methods of distribution of roles and their corresponding responsibilities in the family. But three methods are universal:
Reasons and meaning of their change
Change of roles in the family can occur as at the request of the spouses(everything is clear here), and forced.
If a man has always supported a family, and a woman has been caring for children, in the event of an industrial injury, the roles of the spouse will change.
A woman can get a promotion while pregnant and start earning more than her husband. In this case, the family will it is beneficial for a man to take maternity leave, and the woman became the breadwinner of the family.
Separate topic - disruption in the family. When a woman does not want to take on the role of a protector, but due to the infantility of her husband, she has to do it. Or a man, living with a lazy woman, does all the housework for her.
Such situations require correction and, in the absence of progress, lead to divorce.
Role reversal- it's not always bad. The main thing is that everything happens by mutual agreement and does not cause discomfort to family members. Well, where love reigns, you can always agree and come to a common decision.
About the role of men and women in the family in this video:
Humanity is changing. Changes affect even those things that, it would seem, have been and will remain unchanged from time immemorial. The gender role of men and women is also changing. To be even more precise, in our time, the boundaries between the traditionally “male” and “female” are already difficult to distinguish.
The gender role and everything connected with it is a relatively new phenomenon and remains a rather ambiguous and not fully understood category for our society. Therefore, before delving into the study of this topic, it is necessary to define the basic concepts.
biological sex- a set of genetically and hormonally determined characteristics of an organism, summarizing all its reproductive (sexual) features that distinguish it from representatives of another biological sex and determine its role in the process of fertilization during sexual reproduction.
It is customary to talk about the existence of two types of biological sex: male and female.
Gender – social the gender of the person; characterization of a person in terms of masculinity (a complex of bodily, mental and behavioral characteristics considered as masculine) or femininity (a set of qualities traditionally attributed to women or expected from women).
The modern world is dominated binary gender system- dividing people into two opposing groups men and women.
Interestingly, not in all cultures gender is a significant social category, as in ours. There are societies where there are three or more genders, as well as many gender roles.
gender role- view social roles representing behavior, normative expected from male and female individuals. This behavior, which traditionally regarded as appropriate for men and women.
social role- socially normalized behavior of a person occupying a certain position in society and having certain rights and obligations in connection with this.
In this way, gender role of men and women- these are the forms of behavior expected by society from men and women.
But gender roles are not only expected, they are also:
- prescribed,
- are inculcated (through upbringing and education),
- are being mastered
- are being fulfilled
- violated
- accepted or rejected by the individual.
There is another concept related to gender – gender identity.
Gender Identity- a person's inner self-perception of being a representative of a particular gender, that is, a man, a woman, or a representative of another category.
How is the gender role of men and women formed?
Man is born male or female only in the biological sense, in the social sense he becomes man or woman. There are no differences in the behavior of baby girls and boys. There is no significant gender difference between men and women!
Initially, representatives of both sexes are just people. The set of human characteristics and qualities is one, the division into male and female qualities conditionally accepted in society.
A boy becomes a man because he bring up as a man, they develop traditionally masculine traits, qualities, instill appropriate principles and goals, teach male patterns of behavior. Likewise, a girl learns to be a woman.
Boys and girls raised differently, different models of behavior are expected from them, manifestations of different character traits are reinforced, different requirements are made.
Is it any wonder then that growing up, men and women look at each other as beings from different planets? How can they understand each other if they are different and no one taught them mutual understanding? Only through self-education and the acquisition of personal communication experience.
Gender roles of women and men are changing in the course of history, were and remain different in different cultures and societies, differ depending on the economy, politics, religion and other social factors of the life of a particular society. However, one can still talk about some traditionalism gender roles that have been passed down through the ages from generation to generation.
In our society, the gender roles of men are traditionally referred to as "Getter", "Master", "Defender". They persist, but it is impossible not to notice that for a couple of decades, “soft”, even feminine masculinity has been in fashion. More and more valued in men is not physical strength, activity, courage, the ability to take risks, but intelligence, condescension, restraint, the ability to communicate, empathize and care.
Traditional gender roles for women: "Keeper of the hearth", "Mother", "Wife". Society expects a woman to be kind, patient, modest, gentle, caring, understanding, "homely". But how many women in our time are socially active, active, work on an equal footing with men, often earning more than men?! The earner is no longer He, but She. In a woman, not only beauty, kindness and thrift are valued, but also the ability to earn money, efficiency, purposefulness, stress resistance, courage.
The most common gender role of women in our society has no name. This role, characteristic of women who are representatives of the working class, appeared in our society and was entrenched in it in the twentieth century. You can call this role Universal Soldier". A woman is required to be a wife, mother, mistress, worker, breadwinner, protector - ideal always and in everything and at the same time everywhere prosperous!
Consequences of the struggle for equal rights
The struggle of women for gender equality, which began at the end of the century before last, ended with the fact that many women now work both for themselves and for men, and men relieve themselves of part of the responsibility for raising funds for the maintenance of the family, while not considering themselves obliged to help women home and raising children.
A modern woman takes on too much and, “turning” into a man, complains: “There are simply no normal men left!”.
The gender role of men is also undergoing significant changes today. She getting closer to the traditional gender role of women, just as the gender role of women to men. gender roles merge together.
Another trend is also observed. Men and women change roles! For example, today it is becoming more and more popular (especially in Western Europe) to take maternity leave not for women, but for men (and they do it voluntarily, of their own free will).
It was after women received equal rights with men that not equality began to be observed, but a reversal of roles.
Men and women are legally equal, but in fact remain unequal. The modern woman is more often both the Keeper of the Hearth (the traditional role of the woman) and the Earner (the traditional role of the man), and the man is more often either the Earner or the Keeper of the Hearth. This is what the movement and struggle for gender equality has led to - to new inequality.
But the fact is that a man and a woman cannot be equal, because nature made them different! No matter how strong the mind of a person and no matter how developed his personality, he is also biological being, nature also determines the gender role.
Even if a woman chooses a traditionally male gender role and her man chooses a female one, there will come a point when their system will fail. That moment will be the birth of the child. No matter how feminine a man is, no matter how able he is to run a household and take care of children, there is something that will never allow him to fully realize himself in a female role - he cannot become pregnant and give birth to a child.
If both spouses have the same rights and obligations, they will be completely equal, there will be no family! Who will take care of the children if both work? Who will bring money into the house if both are unemployed?
Women solve this problem by shouldering a double burden of responsibility, but by the number of unhappy women, unhappy families, divorces and children growing up without a father, it is not difficult to guess that this approach to solving the problem inefficient.
Freedom to be yourself
It would seem, why in our time, when a man and a woman are equal in rights, can freely, voluntarily, without the obligatory consent of relatives, choose each other and create a family for love, so many unhappy couples? Is it because, deviating from traditions and nature, people simply do not understand how them to live on.
When people do not know what to do with freedom, it becomes a greater evil for them than the need to live under someone's strict guidance. But Liberty- this is the highest value, this is the opportunity to be yourself! A person today is free to choose who to be and how to live. He is not obliged to adhere to the gender role that is imposed and expected. Regardless of gender, it is important to be yourself!
If a girl likes to fight, why shouldn't she become a professional boxer? If a boy likes to take care of younger children, why shouldn't he become an educator or teacher? But the phrases "You're a boy!" or "You're a girl!" wean children understand yourself. As a result, the child speaks, acts and feels as it should be, and not as he really experiences it.
The "I don't know what to do with my freedom of choice" problem grows out of the "I don't know myself" problem.
Too traditional and strict, requiring strict adherence to social norms and stereotypical thinking, upbringing in childhood in adulthood leads to what is called gender role stress.
Gender-role stress - this is a state of mental tension that occurs in the event of an inability to adhere to one's gender role or, on the contrary, the need to adhere to behavior characteristic of the opposite gender role.
The trends observed today in developed countries are such that emphasizing gender differences is recognized as incorrect, since the traditional gender role has come to be understood as imposition needs of society to the individual without taking into account his personal desires and goals. Society, imposing certain patterns of behavior on a person, deprives him of the opportunity to be himself, and therefore, to be happy.
On the other hand, if all people behave only as they want, not guided by social norms and requirements for themselves as a representative of a certain gender, the world risks losing such important institutions for the continuation of the human race as marriage and the family! After all, it was the emergence of the traditional gender roles of men and women that long ago gave rise to monogamy, the traditional family and the obligation to take care of their children until they grow up!
Poll for women. Do you adhere to the traditional gender role norms of a woman's behavior?
The role of men in the family and society cannot be overestimated. She takes a certain position, which has a great influence on the formation of personality. A man, as a rule, in most cases is a role model. This is a person who you want to be like, equal, be proud of his presence. That is why the presence of a father is so important for the upbringing of a child. Most children see their father as pride and power associated with an all-encompassing spiritual power. What is the role of a man in a family? Let's try to understand this issue.
An example to follow
It should be noted that boys from a very young age try to identify themselves with their father. They absorb the role of a man literally from the cradle. By observing how the father behaves in society and the family, the boy learns to take responsibility for what is happening. Social role - the role of a man who necessarily wants to achieve high results in life. For this reason, a male child loves to demonstrate his courage and courage to others, strives to perform some ambiguous actions. It is from his father that the boy learns everything that will be useful to him in adulthood. Unwittingly, he even partially adopts the character traits of the pope, regardless of whether he can really be proud of him or not.
Striving for the ideal
A father for children seems to be such a significant figure who a priori cannot have any shortcomings. Fathers, in the eyes of their sons, do not make even the smallest mistakes; they cannot make any rash acts. Only many years later, a grown child, as a rule, realizes that in reality everything is not so simple. The desire for the ideal is dictated by the role of a man. He seems so bold and powerful that you not only want to be like him, but also admire his bright personality. Often, the real shortcomings of a man are not noticed for the time being. This is due to the fact that a woman often idealizes the father of her children herself.
purposefulness
Society imposes certain requirements on a male person. The intention to realize one's true essence is perceived by others as an incredible dedication. Purposefulness is also one of the social roles of a man. In society, by definition, it is believed that a man should be able to set himself tasks to be solved and strive to solve them in a timely manner. The representative of the stronger sex should also provide financial support for the family. These are the demands of society. The social role of the stronger sex is often based on put forward expectations.
Social connections
The significance of a man is measured not only by achievements aimed at the benefit of the family. Its social role is much broader and more multifaceted. A representative of the stronger sex needs to be able to make useful contacts that may be useful in the future. The need to build social ties is necessary in order to constantly develop. The ability to make useful contacts is often extremely necessary and significant. Only in this way can a representative of the stronger sex be sure of his future, that he can financially provide for loved ones. A real man always takes responsibility for his own well-being and the happiness of his family.
Personal growth
The desire for self-improvement is inherent in the nature of a man. In fact, it is the father who should teach his children the basics of effective work on themselves. Character is trained through the efforts of the will. Children who have a good example in front of their eyes in the form of their own father will grow up to be strong-willed, purposeful individuals who can take responsibility for everything that happens. Society puts forward requirements for a man, according to which he himself must strive for constant personal growth. If a representative of the stronger sex stops in his development, then he will not be able to give anything to others. The nature of a man is to give away the accumulated knowledge and wisdom. His family acts as a kind of incentive for the sake of which all actions are performed. The social role is turned to constant spiritual growth. Self-improvement of the younger generation, ideally, begins with an unconscious imitation of the father. It is the father who must make it his duty to raise children, to teach them the basic patterns of behavior in the social environment.
Protector role
Everyone needs help and support from time to time. There is nothing shameful or shameful in this. The role of a man in the public consciousness is often correlated with the role of an active defender who really can do everything in the world. That is, a man should be able not only to come to the aid of the family when it is required, but also to effectively support a loved one with the help of a timely spoken word. Only in this way is real trust formed, interpersonal ties are strengthened. The family here acts as the main core, which helps to strengthen self-confidence, to see one's own unique capabilities. The boy learns to feel self-confidence by imitating his own father. When a child begins to identify with a strong dad, he grows a sense of his importance and power. The role of a protector really makes you feel like a self-sufficient person. As a rule, such beliefs are brought up in the family.
character education
Society often requires a person to completely obey a once established pattern of behavior. If his behavior for some reason deviates from the generally accepted norm, serious problems begin. Visible condemnation arises, disapproval of deeds and actions is formed. Educating the character of the younger generation is also a role that a representative of the stronger sex should take on. Unfortunately, this does not happen in every family. However, it is actually the duty of a father to teach his sons and daughters something new. Unlike mother's love, father's love does not have such an unconditional nature. His unsurpassed role is to teach the child to take full responsibility for what is happening, set goals and strive to achieve them. That is, in order for the father to begin to approve the actions of his offspring, he, of course, needs to try, make some efforts. After all, nothing happens in this life. If the mother in any case is always on the side of her child, supports in word and deed, then the father's favor still needs to be earned. Sometimes this takes a long time. Many children try in vain to prove all their lives that they have something to love for. For some reason, their own individuality and bright distinctive features are little taken into account.
Most children who have grown up try to prove their worth to their parents for a long time so that they believe in them. The role of the father in this is decisive. If support and support comes from him, the young man or girl actually feels quite protected. Otherwise, tension, insincerity and a sense of false prestige will certainly appear in the relationship. After all, any education of character necessarily begins in the family. Nowhere else will it be possible to nurture the individuality of the individual. Support, the desire to protect each other and take care - all this is laid through interaction with the closest people in the world. And nothing else.
Leadership skills
A man is so arranged that he initially owns the main position in the family. Based on this feature, its role is not just noticeable, but decisive, which is already undeniable. As a rule, the representative of the stronger sex has pronounced leadership qualities. These features encourage him to be responsible for everything that happens to his close and dear people. The leader also demands respect for himself and wants his decision to be final in important matters. The ability to take responsibility makes his role truly inimitable and unique. The role of the representative of the stronger sex in the family is not limited to control and evaluation. He must necessarily guide, help, push for the development of both the spouse and the children. To be a man means to perform your role as the head of the family unsurpassed. Not everyone is capable of this. Unfortunately, there are people who do not want to solve everyday problems, do not want to shoulder a heavy burden of responsibility.
Thus, the role of a man in a family is extremely great. It is not measured only by fulfilling one's gender responsibilities. Belonging to the stronger sex often imposes certain stereotypes on a person, makes him follow one or another setting. In fact, the strength of character lies precisely in learning to be yourself, to follow the voice of your inner being. In this case, it does not matter what gender the person belongs to.