Spoiled child - how to react correctly? How not to raise a spoiled child? Spoiled child. What to do

It’s hard to find a common language with a kid who is used to always getting his way. Prohibitions, restrictions are met with tantrums, loud indignation. How to deal with a parenting situation Do you have a very spoiled child?

In order for the child to give an account of his actions and not be disappointed in life, parents should be attentive to him, notice the first signs of spoilage and direct the situation in the right direction in time.

Spoiled child: signs

It is possible to determine whether a baby at 2 years old, 3 years old or 4 years old is really spoiled by some behavioral features.

1. He can't be alone in the room, in kindergarten and with other relatives. It happens that children can follow their mothers on the heels. Such behavior can be the norm only among babies 1.5-2 years old. If a grown-up tomboy does not represent leisure without a mother, cannot be with his grandmother for several hours, this indicates that he is spoiled.
2. The child does not want to share sweets, toys and parental attention. This is due to the fact that the baby was too cherished and tried to fulfill all his whims at first request.
3. Frequent tantrums. If the baby is not yet able to talk, crying is almost the only way to express feelings. However, if we are talking about a preschooler, tantrums are already a means of manipulating parents.

How does a spoiled older child behave? Spoiled children 5 years old - 6 years old usually behave a little differently.

1. The child has no desire to help adults. Babies of two or three years old can still be helped to clean up scattered toys, felt-tip pens, books, etc. But the older guys are already befitting to restore order on their own.
2. Pickiness in food. If the child is on a diet, without a doubt, dishes prepared especially for him are required. But if there is no reason to puzzle over the menu especially for the little darling who requires an individual approach, it is already a habit to always get what you want.
3. Constant discontent. “Well, why are you grumbling like a grandfather?” Mom kindly asks. In response - a whole river of claims.
4. Rudeness. And this sign appears due to the satisfaction of any whims of a small manipulator. Those who constantly dance to their tune, children simply cease to respect and perceive as an object for the fulfillment of their desires.
5. Get attention by any means. Tantrums, screams, interrupting the parental conversation - the child does everything to be engaged exclusively in him.
6. No ability to take responsibility for one's actions. Whether it's a petty offense at home or a fight with the neighbor's guys - everything is forgiven by compassionate parents. As a result, a person grows outwardly, but remains a child in his mind, whose problems are always solved by adults.
7. Doesn't understand the word "no"". Children over 5 years old should already control their desires and understand what is possible and what is not. Especially often this problem occurs in children of wealthy parents who show attention with the help of gifts.

Babies don't come into the world spoiled. Overprotectiveness leads to impartial behavior.

Spoiled child: what to do

Conscious parents come up with the idea of ​​how to love a child without fear of spoiling. Still, any problem is easier to prevent than to solve. In this case, psychologists have some advice.

REFERENCE! Experts say that excessive attention does not harm babies up to 8 months and does not spoil a child up to a year with caress. But ignoring the crying of children of this age can lead to neurological problems.

As soon as parents notice that their child has "spoiled", immediate action should be taken. You can often hear a story about how a young mother was taken by surprise by a baby's tantrum. For example, the family walks around the mall, the kid asks to buy a toy. Having received a refusal, he falls to the floor, begins to roar, pounding his hands and feet, does not give in to persuasion to get up and move on. At such moments, parents experience confusion and shame, because there will definitely be a couple of passers-by who will make a remark and show dissatisfaction with such behavior.

It is known that it is useless to scold spoiled kids, and it is certainly not worth following their lead. How to be? The best decision- convey your thoughts to the crumbs calmly and firmly. Tell him that you will only talk to him when the little rebel calms down. If the "explosion" occurred at home, go to another room and give the baby time to calm down.

Public tantrums are a little harder to stop. There is no way to hide from sight here. But you can step aside, as if minding your own business. But so that the child can see you. You should not pay attention to the comments and advice of passers-by that you need to take the baby in your arms, calm him down or fulfill his whim. Your patient waiting will make it clear to the manipulator that his tricks will not lead to anything.

You should know that the process of re-educating a spoiled child will not be quick. It is important to follow some rules:

• let the tomboy understand that, whatever he may be, you still love him and will always love him;
• explain that it is not he who upsets you, but his behavior;
• family members should work together;
• instill darling patience. Let his requests be fulfilled not immediately, but after the passage of time (when you are free from another matter).

Each of us passionately loves our children, wishes and chooses the best for them, starting with clothes and toys, and ending with school, college, and later life. At the same time, we want the child to grow up to become successful, independent, smart, and not spoiled. But what if your child is already spoiled? Is it worth correcting the mistakes you made in your upbringing, and if so, how?

It is believed that a spoiled child is not a well-mannered child. Signs that parents are doing something wrong in the process of raising their child are the emotional instability of the child, frequent whims, unwillingness to listen to parents, complete dependence on parents, selfishness, lack of ability to build relationships with other children, etc. This list goes on and on. Such children are often called spoiled. According to many people, there is no fundamental difference between the concepts of pampering and spoiledness. However, this is not the case. There is no equal sign between a spoiled child and a spoiled child.

You can spoil a child with valuable things, constant concessions to his whims, and indeed a complete lack of a system in education. Minions are those who receive as much love and care from their parents as they need. Therefore, it is impossible to spoil the minions with parental love. Minions are often given gifts just like that from the heart, and not at his request. They are allowed a lot, but not because of the indulgences of the parents or their feelings of guilt, but because the child knows that he will be responsible for his actions himself. The requests of the minions are always carefully listened to, but not because the child is the center of the universe for his parents and relatives, but because in such a family an attentive attitude towards people is accepted. In general, minions are those who are loved simply because they are, and not for their any achievements.

Signs of spoiledness in a child, as a rule, confirm its presence. But it should be noted that some signs of spoiled children can be associated not only with the mistakes of parenting, but also with other factors beyond the control of the parents. For example, a child's uncontrollability may be the result of a congenital or acquired pathology of the nervous system, or a manifestation of an unfavorable psychological climate in the family, kindergarten or school, which cannot but affect the child's psyche. A child can behave in exactly the same way after suffering a serious illness, since during this period the nervous system, like other systems, is very weakened and cannot cope with the usual stresses characteristic of healthy children. Nevertheless, it will not be difficult to distinguish classic spoiledness from the described manifestations, since in the classical version the connection between the incorrect behavior of parents, grandparents and the bad behavior of the child is always clearly visible. Of course, from the outside, this connection is much easier to trace, because our own mistakes that we make on an unconscious level can often not always be seen.

Who is guilty?
When a little man is born, he becomes the center of the universe for the family and close relatives. The attitude towards the child as a priceless creature begins to manifest itself in everything: as soon as the child sneezes - the mother and everyone else immediately appear with handkerchiefs, he wants a beautiful toy - please hit the child playing with him - they will shame him a little or, for the sake of appearance, will slap him on the ass, but they will rejoice about themselves - well done, in life they will be able to stand up for themselves, fall to the floor in a wild hysteria - they will get everything they want. The result of such a "super-attitude" is the emergence and consolidation of the child's confidence that everything is permitted to him, that he is omnipotent.

Too busy parents also do nothing good for their child. The constant feeling of guilt experienced by them for their frequent absence encourages them to “buy off” the child with material values. The lack of attention, the emotional coldness in which the child grows up, leads to the fact that the child gradually ceases to appreciate gifts, which become more expensive over time, just as the feelings of guilt and alienation of the parents increase. The child subsequently begins to experience anger towards parents who leave him, trying to annoy them. As a result, the child becomes an ordinary egoist, characterized by emotional coldness and inability to build relationships with people.

Another reason for a spoiled child may be the inability or unwillingness of parents to set the parameters of upbringing and build relationships with grandparents in such a way that the child does not become a victim of conflicting demands. For example, when parents and grandparents live separately and the child is allowed what is forbidden at home, or vice versa, the child begins to manipulate adults. Lack of agreement in matters of education between parents and grandparents will not lead to anything good. The desire to lure the child to his side ultimately leads to the fact that the child becomes a manipulator of adults.

Often a spoiled child is the result of the imposed role of a showcase of the merit and achievements of parents. With all his appearance (expensive clothes, participation in a prestigious sport, the presence of a rare and expensive dog, etc.) and behavior, such a child shows the material wealth and competence of the parents.

What to do?
Many of us believe that various kinds of restrictions negatively affect the psyche of the child, but there is no scientific confirmation of this opinion. In an effort to protect the child from various experiences and stresses, including due to a new toy not received, some parents make any concessions and material expenses. Unwillingness or inability to foresee the further development of this situation contributes to the fact that parents, even having abandoned all their affairs, fulfill the desires and requirements of their child, thereby showing him that it is possible not to take into account the interests of other people. For many parents, tasty food and beautifully dressed children are the criteria for a happy childhood, but this is the satisfaction of their desires, not the desires of the child.

Just as a baby needs to be fed on demand and its emotional needs to be met with parents, so the developing person should be made to understand that other people have a life of their own. When building relationships with other people, the child must feel where his personality stops and the personality of another begins. The introduction of the concepts of “possible” and “impossible” by us, the establishment of certain limits makes the life of the child easier. Under the guidance of adults, the child learns to control his own emotions, adequately respond to difficulties, he is formed as a person in accordance with reality, and not against the background of confidence in his omnipotence, which over time can develop into megalomania.

For many, to refuse a beloved child is an impossible task. In fact, saying “no” to a child is not so difficult, only the refusal must be justified. It is necessary to explain to the child that the refusal is not a dislike for him, but a simple necessity, the child, be sure, will calmly accept this fact and agree with him. For example, if your child sees a toy in the store that he has long dreamed of and asks to buy it, and you have enough funds to purchase it, then there will be nothing wrong with buying it. Otherwise, it is worth explaining to the child that the family budget does not allow you to make frequent and significant expenses. If the child knows that the family gets money with difficulty, he will be more selective, and the value of the gift in his eyes will only rise from this.

The main factor in the upbringing of a child is that today's impossible tomorrow does not become possible and vice versa, because this confuses the child and develops capriciousness. The child immediately grasps that if you cry a little, then the forbidden can become permitted. What is possible and what is not allowed for the child must be agreed with all family members so that it does not turn out that parents forbid, and grandparents allow. The reaction of parents and grandparents to the child's requests should be unanimous.

But what if the older generation ignores the established criteria for raising parents, considering themselves more knowledgeable in matters of upbringing? If grandparents live separately and periodically pamper their grandson or granddaughter, then this, as a rule, does not have any negative consequences for the child, because grandparents are there to love, admire and pamper their grandchildren a little. Another thing is when young parents, due to circumstances, and the older generation live under the same roof. In this situation, you should convince, maybe in a tough form, that the child is yours and only yours, and only you can educate in accordance with your own views on what is right and what is not. Often the right to raise children must be earned, so be fully responsible for the life and upbringing of the child, you should not shift your responsibilities to your parents. And then they will not be able to reproach you for immaturity or incompetence. According to surveys of parents of children spoiled by grandparents, there is a certain pattern that such children, when they grow up, do not at all appreciate the care that they received from the adults who indulged them. And the result of this is disrespect, insults, and even oblivion.

Re-education or work on mistakes.
If a child has become spoiled due to improper upbringing, urgent action should be taken. Most often, parents do not pay any attention to this, until one fine day, for example, in a store, a child who is used to achieving everything at home, whimpering and whining, falls to the floor and cries in a wild tantrum just because mom did not buy him a toy. As a rule, parents react to such an outburst in the same way: confusion appears in their eyes, a feeling of helplessness, shame and a desire to stop this "violence" appears. Often in such situations, some elderly woman appears who will take pity on the child and shame the cruel mother. As a result, the child gets what he wants, and the mother in this battle with the manipulator leaves the loser. Then such tantrums will not be uncommon at home if the child is not allowed to watch, for example, cartoons.

The best option in this situation is not to scold, not to persuade the child to calm down, and certainly not to acquire or give him what caused the tantrum. It is necessary to calmly and clearly convey to the child that a conversation with him will take place only after he has calmed down, and leave him alone in the room if this happens at home. If this happens in a store or on the street, just go far away so that he does not see you, but at the same time you would have the opportunity to watch him. Despite such a sharp emotional manifestation, the child is still in control of the situation. This can be seen from his observation of the reaction of adults. He will quickly realize that such behavior will not work. In general, the hysterical behavior of children is directly dependent on the reaction of adults to it. This is evidenced by the fact that the child behaves well with some relatives, and disgustingly with others.

Patience refers to a skill acquired through life and proper upbringing, in which the child learns to balance his demands with the desires and capabilities of other people. It is of great importance for an infant to carry him in his arms or in a sling at his request, because through this his benevolent attitude towards the world is formed at an older age. But if an already grown child is very impatient, you can try to gradually delay the response time to his feasible requests. For example, if a child asks to help him build a house out of cubes, you should not immediately drop everything and play with him, you need to say that you will help him in the game when you are free. To begin with, the delay period should not be too long. By instilling patience in a child, we teach him to value communication with people who are separate individuals, and not means to fulfill his desires.

In the process of re-educating a spoiled child, a complication arises in the sense that a child who is used to achieving everything with a roar and hysteria will not immediately stop strategic actions that are convenient and beneficial for him. If you have firmly decided to re-educate your child, then you should not immediately drive the child into a rigid framework. He may perceive this as a fact of the ceased love for him. When developing a new behavior, the child should be conveyed that it is not he who upsets you, but his actions. He needs to be made clear that you, in spite of everything, love and appreciate him for who he is, and he is the best, just a little confused in relations with others. The most difficult thing in the process of re-education is to act together with the whole family. Therefore, one should agree with grandparents that it is not necessary to fulfill all the whims of the child in order to lure him to his side.

Experts from the Rome Institute of Psychology studied the career growth and character traits of three hundred Italian top managers. The data suggests that most of the respondents were very spoiled children in their childhood. According to Italian psychologists, "spoiled" children practically do not have any complexes, they are more confident in themselves and their abilities. From infancy, they were instilled with confidence that they were the best and smartest, as a result, the children themselves believed in it. Naturally, it was not difficult for them to convince others of their unusualness. Such children quickly get used to getting everything they want, so in adulthood they are always set only to win. The habit of getting what you want eventually develops into a desire to always be the first. But it is worth noting that in this case we are not talking about spoiled children at all, but about the so-called spoiled children. And spoiled children, in fact, are not only not capable of adequate interaction, but they lack the patience to bring things to the end.

The habit of getting what you want immediately develops just a passive attitude towards the world. Indeed, why do something when all desires are already fulfilled by themselves. The ability to set and achieve certain goals is possessed by those who were spoiled correctly - loved, paid maximum attention and inspired thoughts about their own uniqueness.

Therefore, spoil the children correctly and good luck in the educational process!

Most parents do not want their children to become spoiled. This happens gradually, for example, if you succumb to the whims of the child, allow him not to do housework, or buy too many toys and gifts. But there are several ways to teach a child to be grateful for what he has and to behave well, trying to earn what he wants. It is necessary to get rid of old habits, behave like an adult and teach the child gratitude and responsibility.

Steps

Part 1

Determine how spoiled the child is. Does the child constantly make scenes and say unpleasant things to get what they want? Does he continue to pester you and ask for something even after you refuse? Does he act as if he believes that everything should be his way, without trying to do anything to deserve what he wants? Does your child never say "please" and "thank you"? These are all symptoms of spoilage.

Ask yourself a few questions and find out how you pamper your child yourself. There are many factors to consider, for example:

• Are you afraid to say "no" to your child? Why?
• Do you constantly succumb to his provocations, knowing that this is wrong?
• Do you make up rules and punishments and then go back on your words?
• Do you often buy gifts for your child for no apparent reason?
• If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, chances are you're feeding a spoiled child. Your child has learned that you do not like to refuse him, that you are fickle in your rules and regulations, and that he does not have to do anything special, much less behave, to get what he wants.

1. Stop agreeing with everything. Just start saying no. This wave is normal, and once your child begins to hear “no” from you often, he will get used to the new state of affairs. You can explain to the child the reasons for your refusal, the main thing is not to give up your words and not change your point of view.

   You should always know where your child is and what he is doing. This is quite difficult to implement if you work a lot, but it is very important to know the routine and rules of raising a child so as not to spoil it. Do you fully trust your child's nanny? Or does the nanny constantly allow the child to do whatever he wants?

   Start bargaining with your child. Every time your child asks for something, encourage him to do something else first. If he wants to go play with a neighbor or play video games, instead of immediately asking him to tidy up the room, help you with the dishes or take out the garbage.

   Prioritize time spent with family. One of the biggest reasons for a spoiled child is the guilt of parents for not spending enough time with their child. Torn between work, the child's activities (football, dancing, etc.) and social life, it is very difficult to find time for everything else, for example, for family dinners.

   Be consistent. Always follow the established rules. If you do not do this, the child will understand that you can be ignored and you can be bargained with.

   Avoid empty threats. Don't threaten punishment that you can't carry out. The next time the child "will not let himself be fooled" and will begin to think that you still will not keep your promise, no matter what happens.

   Do not give in to whims, complaints, entreaties, and other indicators of bad behavior. If you said no or punished for a particular behavior, don't back down and change your mind. Remain calm even if the child is making a scene. If you do not indulge him, the child will realize that his tactics no longer work.

   Involve other authority figures. Make sure your spouse or partner follows the same rules and share your parenting style with grandparents or nannies. It will be better if all these people do not underestimate your efforts, for example, succumb to the tantrums of the child, forgive him for bad behavior and shower the child with gifts.

   Part 3

   Teaching Gratitude and Responsibility

   1. Teach your child to be polite. At an early age, you need to teach your child to say the words “please” and “thank you”. But even if such words are not in his vocabulary, it is never too late to start. The easiest way to teach a child to say these words is to use them in his own speech.

      Set house rules for the whole family. If the children are still too young, it is only natural to clean up after them. But as soon as they grow up, teach them to be self-sufficient, referring to the fact that each member of the family must contribute to the comfort of home.

      • You can start by cleaning toys after play. Add more responsibilities as you get older.

   2. Be a role model. If you don't work hard yourself, you can't expect your child to have the same attitude towards work. Your child should see your work and understand that even if you want to do more pleasant things, you still perform your duties around the house.

      Do household chores together. Duties like cleaning the room or washing up after meals can be too much for the kids, so do it together, at least at first. This will teach the child to properly perform household chores. It will also help them to believe in themselves.

      Follow a routine for doing household chores. You will achieve great results if you set a routine for doing housework. Children will have less reason to complain if they understand that they must, for example, clean their room every Sunday.

      Teach your child to be patient. Children often cannot sit still, but they will do better in life if they are taught to wait and/or work towards a goal. Explain to the child that he will not always get what he wants right away.

And to show other signs of independence - and this pleases. Because children, for whom adults do everything, are at great risk - and even their mental health. Terrible cases from the life of wealthy families that protect children from harsh reality, says psychologist Marina Melia. This is unlikely to threaten us with you - but it makes us think about how and from what to protect the child.

By isolating children from the "harsh reality", we act with the best of intentions. But man is a social being, and any long-term isolation is contraindicated for him - this leads to personal deformations.

In a family where there is no hired staff, and the parents work, the child, like it or not, gradually comprehends all worldly wisdom. As he grows older, more and more demands are placed on him and more and more responsibility is delegated. But if there are no obligations to take care of yourself, for someone close to you, or to do some housework at the age of three, ten, or fifteen, then there is no experience or responsibility.

Children who grew up in orphanages, starting to live on their own, face a lot of problems: they cannot cook their own food, they do not know how to pay the rent, how to look for a job, how to buy a train ticket - they had nowhere to learn this. To help orphans, whole and post-boarding accompaniment have been created. Social workers are attached to them, who, in fact, play the role of parents, teach children elementary things that all their "home" peers do automatically, without thinking.

Social workers are not attached to the "golden" children, although they are also not able to serve themselves. Household staff actively support this policy and are willing to do whatever they can for the child. For him, a little clumsy is a guaranteed source of income: as long as he remains helpless, nannies and maids will always have work.

It is easier for a nanny to button up the buttons on a shirt than to teach this awkward baby, it is easier to take him in her arms than to wait for him to climb the stairs himself. The driver knows when to go from home to school, when to the sports section, he will remind you, hurry up, help you get ready. The child forgot to put a racket or a ball in the bag - the driver will go and bring it. And so in everything.

My colleague worked with a boy from a wealthy family. It turned out that he had never seen tea being brewed. When the psychologist taught him, at each new meeting the child hopefully asked: "Are we going to make tea today?"

As parents, we usually do not even think about the situation in which we put our children. We grew up in different conditions and are perfectly able to serve ourselves. And with the child we behave as if he is not capable of anything.

Children don't see real life

A child who grew up behind a high fence of a country estate under the care of nannies and governesses sometimes does not know elementary things and quite sincerely considers the whole world an enlarged copy of his reservation. So, the driver of a ten-year-old girl on the way home from school tells her about his three-year-old grandson. "What is the name of his nanny?" - the girl is interested. The driver replies that the boy does not have a nanny and never has. The girl does not believe: "This does not happen! Everyone has a nanny!".

The owner of a large company told me how his son, seeing people in a subway car on TV, asked: "Dad, who tells the train driver where to go?" A boy at the age of 6 never just walked the streets and, of course, did not use public transport. But according to the plans of the pope, the son will have to take over the management of a large industrial holding in the future.

"Golden children" do not know what it means to live on a salary, do not understand why walk when there are cars, why rent a tiny apartment when you can buy a cottage, why get somewhere by subway or bus instead of calling a taxi. In other words, they have little idea how people live outside their circle.

Success in life is often achieved by people from whom neither teachers nor parents expected it. A child who spent most of his time in the yard, "a hooligan, a loafer, a threesome", suddenly turns out to be much more successful than his classmates, who spent all their childhood sitting at textbooks. The key is not in "accidental luck" or "happy fate", but in social intelligence.

What is social intelligence? This, among other things, is an understanding of people, the motives of their behavior, the ability to influence others, to anticipate the reaction to one's words and actions, to feel the boundaries in communication.

Researchers from the University of Pennsylvania and Duke University followed more than 700 children from kindergarten to age 25 for 20 years. It turned out that "socially competent" children, who are able to easily communicate, help others, understand their feelings, as a rule, receive a higher education, a full-time job, and by the age of 25 are much more successful than their peers.

Peers are always present in the life of an ordinary child. They can be friends or enemies, be kind or "intrigue", but one way or another you have to interact with them: in a large class - to win a "place in the sun", in the yard - choose who is a friend and who is not. Life sets tasks for the child, for the fulfillment of which it is necessary to achieve something from people with different views, values ​​and character.

In the ideal world of the "golden ghetto" such tasks are not faced by children. In their behavioral repertoire, there are only two main options for communication - with "omnipotent" parents and with dependent adults. But communication with equals, who do not depend on them in any way and can do as they please, becomes a problem. Add to this the inability to understand the feelings of others - after all, they were not taught this - and it becomes clear why they cannot fully interact at school, in sports sections, in creative classes.

Children from wealthy families are constantly changing schools - sometimes five to ten times during their entire education - this is already a trend. And everywhere the same thing: teachers find fault, do not appreciate, do not understand, classmates are stupid, rude, annoying, envious. But maybe it's not about classmates and teachers, but about the children themselves, who lack basic communication skills and the ability to find a common language with different people?

no incentive to grow up

An adequate hierarchy "adult - child" implies a kind of "vertical of power", respect for adults, respect for distance, boundaries in interaction. An adult, by definition, has more rights than a child, and more responsibility. He knows how to do it, how to do it right, he sets a coordinate system for the child, sets certain limits, he can allow it, or he can prohibit it.

But in rich families, where children are surrounded by dependent adults, this natural hierarchy is often abolished. We entrust the child with functions that are completely uncharacteristic of him. We ask him: "Well, how was the teacher, how did she behave? Normal? Oh, you're not happy..." When a child evaluates the elders, when he threatens the driver, teacher or instructor with dismissal and the person is really fired, his picture of the world is distorted.

The child does not understand the nature of power, does not feel the boundaries that cannot be crossed. For him, the very concept of "adult" disappears, blurs - it ceases to carry the main semantic load and means only the age of a person.

If a child does not obey the nanny, the driver, then why should he suddenly obey his mother, father, grandmother? Either I obey all adults, or I obey no one. At first, the authority of the people working in the house collapses, and then the parental authority is naturally questioned: if I can contradict, be rude to the attendants, then why don’t I fire my mom and dad?

In such a situation, the child does not receive the most important thing: the core, the direction of further development. Like a young bindweed whose vertical support has been removed, it cannot climb up. The desire to become a truly adult does not arise when there is no inner feeling “here I will grow up, and I will also be able, I will also have to ...” Hence the infantilization, which is now so much talked about.

Illusions of chosenness and impunity

Wealth and status of parents create in the child the feeling that he is not like everyone else. He quickly gets used to being treated as a special person and finds it completely natural. And when it suddenly turns out that for those around him he is just "one of many", this becomes an unpleasant surprise, causes a storm of negative emotions - he demands, is indignant, offended.

A boy of ten was sent to an elite school in England. The very fact that his surname did not mean anything to students or teachers was a real shock for him - for everyone he was just "a boy from Russia who needs to improve his English." No one tried to please him, to serve, to please. Deprived of domestic privileges and lacking sufficient inner potential, he was unable to build relationships with classmates. Tears have begun