Stop thinking about the bad and learn to direct your thoughts in the right direction. How to think only about the good or how not to think about the bad

17.05.2019

It happens that some thoughts about people or about problems do not get out of my head. This happens very often and with almost everyone, but sometimes obsessive thoughts can be difficult to fight, and they distract us from business. In this article, we'll show you how to get rid of annoying thoughts and focus on a specific job.

Steps

Stop the flow of thoughts

Write down your thought (s). Thoughts distract you from business and make you feel upset, worried, and worried. Therefore, the first thing to do is to write down the concerns that concern you. Then arrange them in order, from the most important and largest to the one that worries you the least.

For example, if your biggest concern is that you will lose your job, your list might look like this: 1. How will I pay bills and support my family? 2. What if I can't find a new job? 3. What if the chief tells the guards to escort me out in front of everyone?
First, answer the last question that worries you the least.

Imagine this situation. Sit down and close your eyes. Imagine a situation that bothers you the least.

Now pause this thought! Set a timer for 3 minutes. Then focus on your unwanted thought. As soon as the time runs out and the timer beeps, tell yourself "stop!" Immediately think of something distracted: the sea, relaxation, family. Try to focus your attention on this look for 30 seconds. If during this time your mind will involuntarily return to the problem, again say to yourself "stop!"
- You can accompany the command "stop!" some actions: a change in posture, clicks, claps. This will strengthen the command and help interrupt the unwanted thought.
- You can try an alternative method: record on a dictaphone, as you say to yourself "stop!" Then play this recording every 2-3 minutes. As soon as you hear the command, immediately focus on the other image.
Exercise. Repeat this exercise until thought begins to go away on command. Then try this exercise again, but stop! pronounce in a normal voice, without shouting or adding gestures. As soon as you see the result, take it to the next level: utter the command in a whisper. Exercise. Over time, you will be able to stop the flow of thoughts just by thinking about the command "stop!" Once you've got it done, move on to the next thought and do these exercises with it.
- This technique will not help you get rid of unwanted thoughts instantly. However, it will teach you how to stop and switch, and over time will weaken the influence these thoughts have on you.
- You must acknowledge that you have such thoughts and accept them. They can distract you, throw you into despair, and if you feel that you cannot control them, then the situation only gets worse. However, accepting the fact that you have such thoughts and learning to respond less strongly to them will help you deal with them.
Be busy
1. Find yourself something to do. Sign up for a gym because exercise is good not only for your body but also for your mental health. During sports, endorphins and neurotransmitters are released, thanks to which mood improves.
  
  Put your brain to work. Keep your mind occupied with solving Sudoku or crossword puzzles, solving complex math equations, or making a to-do list. Your brain will use all its resources to complete these tasks, and it will have neither the time nor the energy to process unwanted thoughts.
  
  Laugh more. Laughter helps relieve tension. When we laugh, our brain is engaged - it signals the body to make a series of gestures and sounds. Laughter can help reduce stress, so if your obsessive thoughts make you feel anxious, laughter can be a good medicine. Spend time with friends you are having fun with, watch a funny movie, or practice laughter yoga. You can even find specialists in laughter therapy, the essence of which is to openly laugh at ordinary things and use humor in difficult situations.
  
  Speak out. This is one of the most effective ways to get rid of obsessive worries. Talk to a friend or loved one, talk about your experiences and feelings. If you think that you have some serious problems that friends and family cannot help you with, contact a psychologist.
Try to trick your mind
1. Try focused distraction. You may have already tried to distract yourself in many different ways, but have you tried to do it with concentration? Research has shown that it will be more effective to distract from intrusive thoughts by focusing on one thing, rather than jumping from one activity to another. The aimless flow of thoughts is associated with anxiety, so do something specific, such as reading a book or listen to music, and focus your full attention on that activity.
2. If a situation or person has had a major impact on you, it takes time to stop thinking about them. This is especially true for situations that you have never encountered before, for example, if you were deceived by a loved one, you witnessed someone else's death, or were in a car accident. It is quite natural to return thoughts to such events over and over again. Plus, everyone is different, and if you need more time to come to terms with a situation, this is not a sign of weakness or lack of any qualities that others have.
- Don't tell yourself, "I stop thinking about ____" or "I don't think about ____" otherwise you will start to think about it even more.
- Don't expect quick results. Even after you have achieved good results in all these techniques and exercises, intrusive thoughts will still appear from time to time. Accept this fact, be patient and remember that someday these thoughts will stop bothering you.
- If a thought bothers you, try to strike up a conversation with someone. You will focus not on your thoughts, but on the conversation.
- If you are bothered by the thought of a person you have to see every day, try to avoid eye contact with that person and pretend that they are not there at all.

Thoughts have properties to be realized, and therefore it is worth surrounding yourself only with positive things, fantasies and dreams. In fact, it is sometimes not so easy to do this. To teach how to tune in to a good wave, excluding everything bad, there is a chance to improve your life a little.

Ways not to think bad

In any situation, you must be determined to complete it positively.... You should not expect anything, not hope, otherwise frustration cannot be avoided. This can be done by lowering the importance of the event in your head. You should always have a backup plan. For example, you started dating your chosen one, but you are afraid of losing him, there are some fears that you will not be able to find another. With these thoughts in mind, you start checking your phone, your boyfriend's social networks. These checks will be destructive, with the result that your fates will diverge. But, if you are confident in yourself that you can date other men, then you will not spy and be jealous of the guy. This is the contingency plan!

You should not think to yourself that this or that person, who offended you once, did it on purpose in order to hurt you. If you feel a lack of attention, it will say that this person means something to you. Therefore, your insult in many cases may be unfounded. A sense of humility will help in this situation. This can take a lot of time, sooner or later, you will come to terms with the situation. Typically, this will happen when your emotions have cooled down.

Most of us think about the bad by remembering the past. There is even a category of people living in the past. They are unable to let go of grievances, not to remember the negative, and therefore they imagine their future in a similar scenario. Thoughts are born in my head to make a prank, to come up with a scenario for the development of a situation with a negative outcome even before it happened.

You need not remember the past turn your attention to the present... Every new day will be tomorrow's past, so why not make your past positive. Understand why you are returning in the past, look for a way out.

Most worries are simply in vain, and therefore it is worthwhile to treat everything more simply without exaggerating their significance.

Vain anxieties that provoke thoughts of bad

Cash and financial situation. Even if you do not complain about the lack of these benefits, there is a sense of fear that they will soon run out. In pursuit of money, our soul becomes callous, filling its unfilled shelves with depression. It is impossible to become richer than everyone!
Aging and death. Natural youth or achieved through cosmetic efforts does not go out of fashion. But do not worry in advance that at the age of 25 you have your first wrinkle, gray hair. This is our nature, you cannot change this, you can just start taking better care of yourself, change your hairstyle.
Lifestyle. We all want to live ideally, but do not forget - we are individuals, you cannot follow someone madly, losing your individuality. This is how you steal your moments of life thinking about how bad your life is. Don't worry about this.
Diseases, accidents. People are suspicious, catching a cold, we begin to invent other ailments for ourselves, reading on the Internet a lot of similar symptoms with other diseases. But you need to rely on the doctor, because he is much more experienced in this area than you. And during the period when you are sick, you need to surround yourself with positive thoughts, and not aggravate your situation.
Information flow. Try to keep abreast of news, but more positive ones, otherwise every explosion from fireworks will frighten you offensive military armies. Be aware of the news, but do not live by it, you should not worry about the fact that you suddenly did not read something, did not see it, did not understand.

Preventing the elimination of negative thoughts

The most commonplace way is to turn off the right hemisphere and think with the left. To do this, you just need to pick up a rosary or a chain. Take the selected item in your right hand and twist it for 5-10 minutes. After this time, the left hemisphere will begin to work, now you can tune in to positive thinking faster. You can think about anything - about a hedgehog in the fog, funny situations, the sea. The main thing is that thoughts can tune you to a positive wave.

To relieve unnecessary anxiety, it is recommended to carry out a small set of exercises. If you detect an approaching feeling of panic, anxiety, you need to distract your brain - for this, do 20 squats. If you are not in the right place to squat, you can quickly clench and unclench your fists. It is recommended to wash with cool water, look at yourself in the mirror and relax a little. If you are at home, it is great to take a cool shower with a full dip in your head.

In fact, it takes a long time to learn how to control your thoughts. Sometimes, this can only be achieved over the years. But by developing the skill, you can protect yourself from unnecessary worries and nervous breakdowns.

Think about it, there is probably a ton of evidence that the outcome is not as bad as you thought. Connect your logic, keep the situation under control. If you can find even a couple of positives, you will notice how bad thoughts cease to be.

Experts also advise to go on a trip with your loved one, turn your vacation into a fairy tale. For example, a great option to go to Georgia, to the mountains, climbing Gergeti all bad thoughts will go away.

well and the best method is to fall in love... Just worry about being abandoned, feelings will pass and there is no need for other reasons. The magical feeling of falling in love is famous for the fact that it does not completely depend on our wishes, is alien to various concerns. If you have a close friend with a positive mindset, share your thoughts with her, maybe she can help you laugh at your worries together, and the panic will subside.

Remember that our thoughts are only a play of the imagination, and therefore it is not a fact that this game will become reality. Then the question is ripe: "Why spoil your life?"

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Smile - it annoys the weak, attracts the strong!

Nature does not understand jokes. She is always truthful, always serious, always harsh. She is always right, and mistakes and mistakes are always the work of a person. She despises people who are not able to appreciate her, and gives in and reveals her secrets only to the capable, pure, truthful.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Think globally act locally

Modern man is surrounded by numerous opportunities for self-realization and realization of his desires. There is only one framework that does not allow you to achieve what you want - those that people create for themselves with their thinking. How to think only about the good or how not to think about the bad will be discussed in this article.

The most important principle

Perhaps the most significant psychological principle is that a person becomes what he thinks about most of the time. The external world of each person is a mirror image of her internal world.

Much can be said about a person by analyzing his external conditions of life, but not vice versa. A thinking man always follows the main rule: "think, think, reflect!"

Materiality of thoughts

How to stop thinking bad things? Initially, you need to understand and most importantly accept the fact that human consciousness is unusually powerful, thoughts determine and control almost everything that happens to a person.

The physical condition of the body depends on them: thoughts can raise or lower blood pressure, improve or disrupt coordination of movements, help to fall asleep or cause insomnia.

"Think, do, achieve!"

But even this does not limit their capabilities: under the influence of certain reflections, a person can change not only his mood, but also his character, his behavior and events in his life. The best part about this is that thoughts are under the complete control of a person.

If a person realizes that in his life now everything is not going the way he would like, first of all he needs to stop and start thinking about life, about the future, about money, about health, about “high”, asking the question: “What specifically, I don't like it? "," What am I missing? "

Moreover, you need to think independently, and in this case, not listening to the opinions and desires of other people.

Fear of thinking

Seemingly simple expressions: “If you want to change your life, think differently” and “think positively”, most people are driven into a dead end, because as soon as a person begins to understand what he really needs in this life, what he wants and what he needs to do this, he begins to feel fear, at least for those changes that will occur in his life. Is it paradoxical? But it's a fact. Therefore, most people have a "habit of not thinking," or rather not thinking about what is happening.

Thoughts, feelings, desires. Man is a complex system of thoughts, feelings, images, desires, doubts and hopes. All these personality elements constantly influence each other.

All thoughts generate images and emotions that accompany them. Then they trigger actions that lead to specific results. A person's thoughts or the situation in which they find themselves can cause them to unexpectedly feel sadness or happiness, joy or anger, loneliness or love.

"Think about the future, live in the present"

The more often a person thinks about success and a favorable resolution of his problems, the more likely he will feel self-confidence and easily resolve all issues. From which it follows that a person constantly needs to think, and think a lot, think aloud and seriously.

Attitude and emotions

A person's attitude to something, be it negative or positive, constructive or destructive, affects his life. As a rule, people's views on certain things or phenomena are based on their own experience or their basic perception of how everything should be.

"Think, try, develop"

A person's actions give rise to emotions and his attitude to a specific issue. According to the law of mutual exchange, you can act as you like in accordance with reality. People who act like they are happy soon really start to feel that way. Unlike emotions, actions can be controlled.

Aspects of a person's life are in themselves neutral, people themselves set their own reaction to what is happening. If you try to change thoughts about any area of life, then the feelings and behavior of a person in this area will also become different.

Any person has the opportunity to control his life as soon as he chooses the right course of thinking.

Old beliefs

The law of conviction says: "What a person believes in, without a doubt becomes his reality." A person's beliefs largely determine his life, this is a fact.

People reach any point of view, having passed a certain path, because one cannot have an idea of an object without interacting with it. But not always on this path you can get comprehensive and correct information on the issue of interest.

"Give it up, don't think about the past"

Often people do not believe in what they see, but see what they believe in. The most harmful beliefs are those about self-restraint. These prejudices about their own potential keep people in place.

People who want to change their lives should reconsider their beliefs, because most of them do not correspond to reality.

As Richard Bach wrote in his book Illusions: "Argue about your limitations and see if they really are inherent in you."

Man is a magnet

According to the “law of attraction”, each person is a kind of living magnet, “attracting” ideas, opportunities and people close to themselves in spirit into their lives.

Today, not many people think of good things, although positive thoughts create a magnetic field that attracts positive emotions and optimistic people.

To achieve this result, you do not need to think about where these or those benefits will come from, you just need to fix your mind on what you want and clear your consciousness of phenomena and objects that you do not want to see in your life.

"Before you say - think"

Each person can change his life by filling his consciousness with other thoughts. To do this, you need to seriously ask the question: "How to learn to think?"

The only question

The English philosopher Bertrand Russell said: "The best proof of a person's ability to do something is the fact that others have done it before."

In other words, all you have to ask about a new idea is, "Does it work?" That is, find out if anyone has achieved results, acting on this strategy.

It is good news that all the principles and ideas to be mastered by a person have already been studied and mastered millions of times before.

"Think like a millionaire, learn from the skills of rich and successful people"

Whatever seeds are planted in the earth, nature will grow them, whatever thoughts are sown in the human mind, nature will grow them too. Therefore, this situation is under the complete control of a person.

Selectivity of thoughts

What do successful people think? Successful people think more progressively than unsuccessful people. Lucky people view their lives, relationships with others, and current problems differently.

They have planted good seed-thoughts and therefore their life is better than anyone else's. By changing their thinking, they changed their lives.

Each person can change his life, all that is required for this is the ability to think, desire and a little free time. It is enough to spend a few minutes an hour in positive thoughts about what you want, and soon these thoughts will become an integral part of the personality, thereby setting it up in an optimistic mood. And the right attitude is half the battle.

Hello!

Thank you, Happy New Year to you!

I can't understand one thing, but why shouldn't I think about it? On the contrary, it is bad when people quickly forget and do not accept this experience and do not tolerate the positive aspects of everything. Such, for example, as preparing for such moments when you already know what to say and answer.

James Allen. "Thinking Man". An excerpt.

James Allen. "Thinking Man".
Thought and character.

The aphorism “Everything a person thinks about is what he is” concerns not only the essence of a person, but is more capacious, touching upon all the conditions and circumstances of life. In literary terms, a person is his thoughts, and his character is the general result of all his thoughts.

Just as a plant cannot exist without a seed, so every human action grows from the hidden seeds of thoughts and cannot appear without them. This applies equally to those actions that are called "spontaneous" and "unintentional", and those that are performed purposefully.

Action is the flowers of thought, and joy and suffering are its fruits. Thus, a person accumulates the sweet and bitter fruits of his work.

Thoughts created us.
We were created with thoughts
If a person has evil thoughts,
pain follows him like a wheel follows an ox.
If a person has pure thoughts,
Joy follows him like his own shadow - for sure.

Man is a product of the law, not an artificial creation, and cause and effect are as absolute and constant in the secret sphere of thought, as in the world of visible and material things. The noble character and character given by God is not an accident or a divine gift, it is a natural result of prolonged efforts in correct thinking, a consequence of a connection with divine thoughts. The mean and bestial character is the result of concealing low thoughts.

Man creates or destroys himself. In the arsenal of his thoughts, he forgets about the weapons with which he destroys himself. He creates the tools with which he builds for himself the paradise mansions of joy, strength and peace. By correctly choosing and applying thoughts, a person achieves divine perfection. Incorrectly applying thoughts, he descends to the level of an animal. Between these two extremes are all shades of character, and a person is their owner.

Of all the wonderful truths related to the human soul, which is now being reborn and falling into the spotlight, none is more fruitful, promising divinity and confidence than the one that man is the master of his thoughts, the creator of his character and state, environment and destiny. ...

Having power, mind, love, being the master of his own thoughts, a person holds in his hands the key to all doors, and contains that changing and regenerated power, with the help of which he can become who he wants.

A person always remains the master of himself, even in the weakest state. But in his weakness and degradation, he is a stupid master who does not manage his "home" well. When he begins to ponder his condition and diligently look for the law by which he was created, he becomes an intelligent master, combining his energy with reason, preparing his thoughts for a successful result. Such is the conscious owner, and only in this way can a person become a real person, exploring the laws of thought in himself. This discovery is the result of introspection and experience.

As with the help of search and labor, one can get gold and diamonds, so a person can reveal all the truths associated with his being if he digs deeply into the treasury of his soul. That he is the creator of his character, his life and the builder of his destiny, he can unmistakably be convinced if he studies, control and change his thoughts, checking the result on himself, on other people, on his life and circumstances, connecting the reason and a consequence through patient practice and research, using every experience, even the most insignificant, daily events, as a means of gaining knowledge about oneself, and this in turn is understanding, wisdom and strength. Here is the following law: "He who seeks, he will always find, who knocks, he will always open." Only with the help of patience, practice, continuous perseverance, a person can enter the temple of knowledge.

“Out of sight - out of mind” - it's good if a person could be forgotten so easily. In fact, the more you want to not think about someone, the more difficult it is to do it. Thoughts persist in returning to the unwanted object.

One eastern parable tells about a young man who asked Hodja Nasreddin how to find out the future and become immortal. The sage replied: "It's simple: don't think about white monkeys!" "Only?" - the young man was delighted. But from then on he could think of nothing else but white monkeys.

Having given free rein to such thoughts, it is easy to "think out" of obsessive states when the help of a psychotherapist is required. Therefore, it is better to try to get rid of them at the initial stage, while they are not yet entrenched in our head. But first you need to figure out:

What prevents you from forgetting another person?

Psychologists talk about three types of such reasons. These are emotional, attitudinal and behavioral.

Among the emotional

1. Suppressed emotions... A person tries to seem strong, "hold on", therefore he suppresses that parting caused him. This is especially true of men, because they were taught from childhood by their parents: “A man must be strong. It's a shame to cry. " But then the pain sitting inside will constantly remind him of the person he wants to forget. You need to allow yourself to give vent to emotions, grieve, cry;

2. Unexpressed... After parting, many continue to mentally sort things out, argue, prove their innocence and make claims to the person who left them. To stop this mockery of oneself, it is worthwhile to state all unspoken grievances in the form of a letter to him, but not send the letter, but burn it;

3. Remorse, guilt. For some people, friends and loved ones easily become exes, while others cannot calm down that someone else is suffering through their fault. They are not going to return the former and at the same time reproach themselves for the harm they have done, willingly or unwillingly. Mental excuses turn into obsessions. How to get rid of such exhausting conversations with yourself? See point 2.

Among the installation reasons

1. Enduring conviction that this person is the only one, he is our destiny, we never we won't meet anyone better... Or maybe it is worth taking advantage of the presented chance to be convinced of this?

2. Confidence that together with him we lost the ability to love and a bleak existence awaits us. Check it out?

3. Linking your hopes and plans with this particular person... On the one hand, this is natural. On the other hand, these were probably only our plans, and he himself doubted the strength of the relationship. We have already come up with a honeymoon route and names for future children - and suddenly loneliness, melancholy, emptiness. Everything will have to be canceled - meetings, walks, trips. We do not do this: the least we need now is to isolate ourselves from people and immerse ourselves in memories.

The main behavioral reasons that prevent us from forgetting a person

1. Forced communication with him... We work together, study, we have mutual friends and one company. There is only one way out - to change everything. Otherwise, obsessive-compulsive disorder - hello!

2. Separated man and woman continue to have sex from time to time... This is often the case in divorced couples with children in common. At the same time, if for one partner it is just sex without obligations, the other revives the hope of restoring the old relationship. However, here you need to follow the rule: "She died so died";

3. Immersion in a depressive state... Despite the desire to withdraw into oneself, not to go anywhere and not to see anyone, he should not be indulged. Alone with ourselves, with masochistic pleasure, we will begin to dig into the wound, not letting it drag on. Thus, we will only strengthen emotional attachment to a person who should be forgotten with minimal losses to our psyche.

Ways to help you forget a person

The question of how to stop thinking about a person has been relevant at all times. Our ancestors relied on magic in such cases, in particular on:

1. Conspiracies and rituals

They need to be performed on the waning moon: along with it, feelings should also wane. It seems that there is a rational kernel here, because with their help a person gives himself a positive attitude, programs himself for a positive result. In any case, there is no crime here, and the attempt is not torture.

All we need is a spring of clean water, lemon balm leaves, privacy and a little imagination. Let's focus on our emotions - resentment, heartache, which prevent us from forgetting another person. We will mentally transfer them to lemon balm leaves, imagining them with our tears, and we will tear them off one by one and throw them into the water. Leaves float away - memories float away. We leave when we feel peace and tranquility, having previously washed our face with water from the spring. This ritual can be repeated every week.

There may be a problem finding the source. In its absence, we will use fire: we set out our obsessive thoughts on paper, and then we set it on fire, imagining how they forever fly away from us along with the ashes.

These methods are harmless and will not harm anyone. However, it is strictly forbidden to seek help from fortune-tellers in order to bring damage or love spell to the departed.

2. We give ourselves the installation: "Everything that is done is for the better."

It may very well be that life has closed some doors for us, having previously opened others. But we are struggling with all our strength, clinging to old relationships, trying to revive something that has long died. Ahead - discoveries, surprises, new people and new acquaintances.

And, as the old song says, "If a bride leaves for another, it is not known who is lucky."

3. Let's clear our living space for new relationships

Apathy, devastation, disappointment, loss of faith in a long lasting relationship, unwillingness to make new acquaintances - you cannot let these feelings take over. Breaking free from their captivity will not be easy. Let's fill the resulting void with interesting things that we always wanted to do, but did not find time for them. At first, it will be difficult to completely switch to them, but gradually we will get involved and will think less and less “about the former”.

It can be a renovation - even if you have to get into a loan, but your head will be busy not with fruitless thoughts, but with the search for new earnings. At the same time, we will remove it from our eyes, give it away or throw away things that we bought together or evoke memories.

They say you can't run away from yourself. Nevertheless, after a month or two, we will notice that the pain, if not gone, has dulled. However, this is not yet a reason to relax - we do not lose our vigilance, we are not yet ready to meet this person. The slightest excuse is enough for the memories to play out with renewed vigor.

4. We do not discuss the ended relationship with everyone in a row

When discussing the current situation, we want to hear words of support, our own righteousness, and condemnation of a person who has left us. Talking about it creates the appearance that it is still present in our lives.

At the same time, we are doing ourselves a disservice - the people with whom we were so frank will now remind us of what we would like to forget about by their appearance. Perhaps one of them will become constantly interested in our personal life, believing that they have the right to do so.

It will not be possible to quickly erase from the memory of the person to whom they managed to get used to, with whom bright events were associated, plans for the future, who became close and dear. It takes some time to heal from emotional addiction and attachment. How long the healing will take and how complete it will be depends on the effort involved.

Unfortunately, many people want this only in theory, without taking any practical action. One gets the impression that the mental pain of such memories gives them pleasure that compensates for the loss. Memories now seem to them to be the only thing that still connects them with the departed, and they are in no hurry to break this connection.