6 year old son does not obey his mother. The child does not want to work. Crisis or another transitional age

26.06.2020

A child at the age of 6 has become uncontrollable and you do not know what to do about it? Before you start to deal with a problem, you should always understand its causes. And, based on this, take action. Perhaps the baby copies the behavior of someone in the family. After all, children often imitate adults.

What can cause disobedience in children?

Complications during pregnancy and birth trauma;
various diseases of the nervous system;
psychological disorders;
quarrels and conflicts in family relationships, stressful situations at home.

If a six-year-old child constantly misbehaves, you should contact a neurologist in order to exclude the first and second points. It is also worth visiting a child psychologist, he will work not only with the crumbs, but will also give you some useful tips. It is very important not to lose time, because further the situation may begin to worsen. Because of this, problems at school cannot be avoided.

Mostly the problem of bad behavior occurs in boys. Girls are more calm and flexible. In any case, when a child of 6 years old is rude to parents, terrorizes peers, fights, lies, take into account the following tips:

Don't rush to punish. Explain to your child the basic rules of behavior. The kid must understand that their implementation is not your whim, that there are reasons for this and everyone must fulfill them. Say that there will be punishment for breaking the rules. Let him choose whether to follow them or not. So you will bring up responsibility for your behavior in crumbs. For example, today you hit a peer on the court - you go home and don’t walk anymore, and tomorrow there will be a new chance to behave well;
do not succumb to crying and the phrase: "I will not do this again." Stand firm on your own. Guilty - answer for your actions. Otherwise, the child will learn that if he asks for forgiveness, then it will be possible to indulge again and there will be nothing for it;
spend more free time together. So mutual understanding and trust will be established between you;
praise the baby more often, and in cases of failure, cheer. He should always feel your support;
if a six year old is being rude to his parents and you don't know what to do, don't tell him he's bad. Instead, explain that you don't like what he does, that it offends you, that you don't like it, etc.;
Does a 6 year old boy always argue, fight and be rude? no physical punishment. Otherwise, you yourself will lay in the crumbs the behavior model “The one who is stronger is right”;
filter the information they receive. Keep track of what your child is watching on TV. Do not forget about limiting the time spent at the computer;
do not buy a large number of unnecessary toys. Often so many parents try to compensate for the lack of attention. However, nothing can replace the care and warmth of mom and dad. Give preference to educational toys, board games that you can play with the whole family. And it will bring a lot of pleasant emotions to you and your child and will only benefit.

Six year old child lying, what to do

Often, parents catch six-year-olds in a lie. Why does a child lie at 6 years old? Most likely, this is due to the fear of punishment for certain actions. In this case, talk to the baby, explain that you should always tell the truth. And if he did something bad, then it must be honestly said. Never go over to the personality of the child, expressing your dissatisfaction with his act.
If the lie has become systematic, it is worth having a heart-to-heart talk with the baby. Agree that if he tells the truth, you will try not to get angry and appreciate that he did not deceive. Of course, you will not jump for joy because of bad deeds, but if he honestly tells you everything, you will try to calmly sort out the situation.

Always remember that you are an example for your children, and they copy your behavior for the most part. Telling the truth yourself is the surest way to teach your child to be honest.

Understanding the reasons for children's lies, it is worth considering several factors: family relationships and a comfortable emotional environment at home, as well as the presence of stresses that can push the baby to excessive fantasizing. If the lie becomes permanent, it is worth seeking the advice of a specialist.

Being good parents is not easy. Very often you can hear from moms and dads complaints that their children have become uncontrollable, capricious and sometimes even aggressive. But nothing but love was invested in them. What kind of metamorphoses periodically happen to growing personalities? These age-related transitional periods are called crises, and one of the most difficult is the crisis of 7 years.

The specifics of the transitional age of the younger student

During the crisis period, the child behaves in a mannered, feigned manner.

Throughout life, a person experiences five crises:

at 1 year (occurs due to a misunderstanding by adults of words, facial expressions and gestures);
at 3 years old (the conflict of highlighting one's "I" in relations with adults who do not always accept the baby's desire to be independent);
at the age of 7 (occurs against the background of the beginning of a new stage of socialization - admission to the first grade and awareness of oneself as a person);
at 17 years old (due to the need to self-determine after a carefree and familiar school life);
at the age of 30 (associated with summing up the intermediate results of life, analysis of achievements and defeats).

Each of these periods deserves the attention and participation of loved ones, but at the age of seven this is especially important. According to psychologists, a child at the age of 6-7 years old has his social "I". Therefore, the baby will have to build new relationships with new people: classmates, teachers. And now he needs to receive a positive assessment of his actions, which he needs, not only from loving family members, but also from strangers.

Features of the development of children 6–7 years old

The game remains the leading activity for younger students

With the achievement of school age, the child experiences a powerful restructuring of the whole organism, which is associated with the intensive development of the peripheral nervous system, musculoskeletal system, cardiovascular and endocrine systems. This causes special mobility and activity of babies, but at the same time, emotional overstrain and fatigue.

Also at this age, a new type of activity appears - study. And if earlier the game was the leading activity, now the kid wants to feel like an adult - go to school faster. Although the game has not yet left his life, therefore, the education of younger students, as a rule, relies on this type of activity, that is, on the experience of children. At the same time, one should not forget that the nature of memory in a six- or seven-year-old toddler is involuntary. Therefore, the brighter the image of a particular concept, the easier it is for the baby to remember it. But it is still difficult for him to concentrate on one thing. And against the background of these contradictions of development, a crisis of seven years arises.

The main signs of the crisis period

Disobedience and aggression are key signs of a 7 year crisis

It is almost impossible not to notice the onset of the transitional stage, because it is most clearly manifested in behavior. The main features of the transitional stage are:

mannerisms in public, in the family, attempts to imitate the elders (relatives, movie characters, books);
antics (most often directed at the closest);
the appearance of restraint (a child at the age of 7 loses his ability to involuntarily - directly - react to certain events, now the baby comprehends everything that happens around him);
periodic ignoring the requests or instructions of elders, disobedience;
unreasonable bouts of anger (freaks out, breaks toys, screams) or, conversely, withdrawal into oneself;
differentiation of one's "I" into public and internal;
the need for recognition by surrounding adults of the significance of the individual.

It often happens that parents from this entire list pay attention only to disobedience: after all, in this way the usual hierarchy of adult-child relationships is violated, the baby becomes “uncomfortable”. However, this is a misconception about the significance of this manifestation of the crisis. Much more important is that a small person in this period needs understanding and care. And in this regard, it is better for parents to leave their dissatisfaction and try to help their child.

How to make contact with the baby?

Do not punish the child, always try to negotiate

Yuri Entin: “What kind of children are these days, really, there is no justice for them, We are wasting our health, But they don’t give a damn about it ...”

In order for the crisis age of seven to pass as painlessly as possible, adults should somewhat reconsider their relationship with the child. Psychologists advise paying special attention to a number of points:

Allow yourself to be independent. Of course, each member of the family has a certain range of responsibilities, and the child can perform them on an equal basis with adults. A grown-up younger student will quite cope, for example, with caring for a pet (putting food on a parrot, walking a dog, etc.) So he will feel that he is the same adult, that a certain side of family life depends on him. At the same time, sometimes remind the child that the main ones in the house are mom and dad, whom no one can replace. To make sure the baby is clearly convinced of this, arrange the day in reverse - parents will become children, and children will become parents.
Recognize the right of the child to the mood. The kid, like any adult, is defeated by emotional swings. He, like mom or dad, can have a day when everything falls out of his hands, he wants to be alone and even cry. In this case, do not bother to show emotions, and after a while talk about this situation, find out the reason for such a decline. Surely, this is a reaction to someone's unkind word or a problem at school, with a teacher or classmates.
Negotiate. 7 years is the age when the baby already perfectly understands the value of promises. He remembers what was promised to him as well as what he promised himself. Therefore, if you promised something - be sure to fulfill it, if this is not possible - explain to your child the reasons why the promise is being postponed, and also specify the time when you can fulfill it. Otherwise, the child will understand that the word can be violated, that there are no obligations that could not be circumvented.
Dose the pressure. There are situations when it’s impossible to simply agree, since the baby still lacks some boundaries of behavior (for example, you can’t raise your hand to a girl, an adult, or communicate with your mother as with a peer). In this case, of course, an authoritarian approach is indispensable (“We will do this because it is right. You don’t understand this yet, because you are small”). But the most important thing in the formulation of requirements is a calm tone of voice.. Hearing an even tone of mother's or father's voice, which remind the baby that he still does not catch everything due to age, the child's mind will have a desire to understand the reasons for this or that action, and this, in turn, will distract from whims and disobedience. Only you need to include this approach as rarely as possible, otherwise the child will get used to doing everything only under pressure.
Bring on a sense of humor. The best way to get a child to do something is to start doing with him. And so that he performs certain actions with pleasure, for example, washing dishes, look for funny moments in the process of working together (you can come up with funny nicknames for kitchen utensils or compose a whole story about the adventures of a spoon and a cup, etc.)
Avoid punishment entirely. Scientists have proven that physical punishment does not carry any pedagogical value. As well as psychological pressure. The fact is that the baby is obviously weaker than the adult, so he cannot resist the pressure. But even after doing everything the way you want, he will not understand why he was forced against his will. And subsequently, a person will grow out of him, convinced that the superiority of strength or age plays a key role in resolving any issues.
Give the opportunity to vent your aggression. To do this, you can, for example, hang a punching bag in the room or replace it with a pillow. As an alternative to a forceful outburst of emotions, you can crumple paper, newspapers and throw them into the basket. It is also useful to sometimes give the baby the opportunity to scream.
Talk to the baby. Talk to your child on an equal footing, talk about how you had such a difficult period in your life. Share your experience, how did you find a way out of the situation.
Take a break from each other periodically. If you feel that passions are heating up to the limit, the child does not listen to you, does not perceive, try to live separately for a couple of days. It is only important that you leave, and not send the baby. So in a familiar home environment, he will feel more strongly how much he needs you, and, taking advantage of the situation, it will be easy to find mutual understanding.
Load. Give your child special tasks related to the manifestation of creative initiative. This will prepare him for the new learning activity. Also, periodically engage in activities with your child: this will not only strengthen your emotional ties, but also add authority to you in the eyes of the child.

Video: how to behave with a child if he is freaking out and nervous

Any crisis is a difficult period in the life of a person and all those around him. As for the turning point at the age of 7, it is further enhanced by the fact that the child cannot find a solution to internal conflicts on his own. Therefore, adults should show all their sensitivity, love so that the crisis of 7 years passes easily and ends quickly.

Time flies fast enough, and now your baby is 6 years old. He is entering a new stage of life, namely going to first grade. What should a child know at 6 years old before going to school? What knowledge and skills will help a future first-grader better navigate school life?

Knowledge needed to go to school

Experts from all over the world say that every child, before going to school, must learn his first name, patronymic and last name. He also needs to know the names of his parents and what positions they hold.

To hone this knowledge, the child needs to perform various tasks for children of 6 years old. For example, show your child various pictures, and he should name what he saw on them, describe how it looked.

It will be very good if the baby can name and distinguish domestic animals from wild animals. At the same time, the future student must clearly formulate his thought. Otherwise, additional classes will be assigned to him.

It is best to work out with your child before going to school. Being engaged with their parents, the baby will quickly master the material.

Physical exercise

A very important aspect is physical activity. The more a child moves, the better his metabolism. If metabolic processes are at a normal level, the coefficient will increase

At the age of six, the future student is best sent to the sports section, where he will learn discipline, improve his health and increase his intellect. Thanks to this, the baby will learn everything that a child should know at 6 years old.

Math and child

Younger students should not only deal with their physical condition. Parents are obliged to make sure that the child learns the basics of mathematics. The child should be able to count up to 10. Also, the future student should compare adjacent numbers. Mathematics for children 6 years old should include in the study

Important enough is the study of simple ones such as triangle, square and circle. This knowledge will help the kid to join the school life.

It is best if parents teach their child such concepts as more and less. Examples include sweets or fruits that the baby likes so much.

If a child does not master the basic knowledge of mathematics, it will be difficult for him among his peers who already know how to write numbers.

Speech development

The speech of a 6-year-old child plays an important role. Some children as young as 6 cannot pronounce part of the letters. At the same time, it is difficult for them to compose a story of 5 sentences. Having taught the child to coherently express his thoughts, you can proceed to the next task.

Parents call the future student words, and he says the opposite. For example, fire is hot and ice is cold. In order for the child to understand what his parents want from him, it is necessary to give him an example.

It is also necessary that the baby can repeat simple tongue twisters that an adult says to him.

To finally deal with the development of speech, you need to teach the child to call words in the plural after they say the word in the singular. For example, a pen - pens.

If the child speaks well and expresses his thoughts, it will be easier for him to perceive the information that the teacher gives out in the classroom.

environmental education

Mathematics and speech development are not the main skills that a future student should have. The question arises of what a child should know at 6 years old in order to be fully prepared for school.

Knowledge about the world around us should become very important. Such information can be obtained during walks in the fresh air. Wandering in the park, you need to tell the baby about trees, birds and the like.

The kid must know at least 7 different plants. Having named these plants, the child must describe the shape and color of the leaves. Having dealt with plants, you can move on to animals.

A six-year-old child must know a few birds that do not fly south for the winter. At the same time, he must name the reason why the birds remain in their native lands.

It will be useful to tell the kid about wild animals, about what differences they have from domestic animals.

How can you help your child get ready for school?

There is nothing wrong if your baby does not know how to do something. Each parent should help the child overcome the difficulties that arise in preparing for school. That is why experts advise many parents to deal with the future student on their own.

Teaching a child the alphabet is not the easiest task that parents will face. To learn the alphabet, you need an alphabet for children 6 years old. Success will be noticed in one week. Although there are children who learn the alphabet very quickly.

To ensure academic success, parents need to create a simple program. The program must include such subjects as arithmetic, reading, calligraphy.

Before you teach a child to write cleanly, you need to visit the store and purchase prescriptions for children 6 years old. At first, the baby's hooks and letters will jump, as it is still difficult for him to hold a pen in his hands. Over time, the handwriting will become more beautiful, and the written text more legible.

To quickly teach your child to remember different things, you can conduct tests. For example, a classification test. Its essence lies in the fact that the child must find the superfluous among the called words, and also explain why it does not fit other words.

Another interesting test is In a text no shorter than 400 characters, the kid must find how many times this or that letter occurs. Only 5 mistakes made are considered a good result.

The choice of educational games for a six-year-old child

It must be remembered that the children's brain works like a sponge. He can instantly remember both positive and negative information. Before allowing the baby to start the game, it must be studied carefully. It is necessary to check that the application does not contain cruelty and information that affects the psyche. Logic games for children 6 years old should be intuitive and interesting.

Programs for learning to count will help the child prepare for school, namely, to develop mathematical abilities. The only way to win a math game is to solve a simple problem correctly.

The application with guessing or making words will help you to replenish your vocabulary. It is best to start such a game after the alphabet for children of 6 years old is fully mastered.

Applications for drawing will help the future student to train memory, as well as improve perception.

A large number of specialists are working on the creation of children's games, who must know the psychology of six-year-old children. Before putting the application on the network, experts carefully test it for errors.

While playing, children gain skills without noticing that they are learning and not just playing.

Do not forget that the time spent at the computer should be limited, as it can ruin the child's eyesight.

It is important that the kid plays along with his peers and hone the acquired skills in the real world.

Development of visual memory

To determine how good a child is, it is necessary to conduct a special test. These tasks for children 6 years old will be quite simple. The child needs to show 10 different pictures. You can look at each picture for 6 seconds. After viewing all the pictures, the future student must name the objects that he saw on them.

If the kid named more than 8 pictures, this is a good result. The average result is 5-7 guessed pictures. Less than 5 pictures will be considered an unsatisfactory result.

After a few days, visual memory will improve, and it will be easier for the child to memorize pictures.

Development of auditory memory

It is important enough that the child has developed not only visual memory, but also auditory. The training of children 6 years old will be faster if you repeat the exercise several times a day.

It is necessary to choose 10 simple words that will not be too long and easy to remember. The row may include the following words: spruce, cat, summer, brother, glasses, chair, horse, house, lion, table. Other words can be chosen, but so that they are simple, understandable for the baby.

After slowly reading the indicated words, you need to ask the child to say everything that he remembers. It is best to repeat the task at least 5 times so that they are well deposited in the baby's memory.

It is considered normal if the future student memorized 4 words the first time. He must reproduce all the words after 4 repetitions.

Conclusion

So, what should a child know at 6 years old? First of all, the baby should learn to hold a pen and clearly express his thoughts. If the child does not know how to do this, do not be upset, as you can make an effort to achieve this.

First of all, we draw up simple programs, according to which the baby will be trained. Remember, you should not overload the future student too much, as he is only preparing for serious classes. In between studies, you should let him play or mind his own business, as well as run outside.

To facilitate classes, it is best to carry out in a playful way. After reading the article, parents will know how to prepare their preschooler for going to first grade.

After a few months of training, the baby will be completely ready to go to school. He will be able to sit more easily in class and listen more attentively to everything the teacher says.

Primary phimosis, in which it is impossible to free the head of the penis from the foreskin in a child of 4-7 years old, is the norm. It does not require treatment or surgery. Attempts to forcibly displace the epithelium can cause the formation of cracks and ruptures, and subsequently provoke tissue necrosis.

Seeking medical help is necessary only with, that is, an inflammatory process of the head of the penis, and a violation of the function of urination.

By the age of 4-7, in 92-95% of boys, the symptoms of primary phimosis disappear, and the head is freely removed from under the foreskin. Otherwise, the child needs to consult a urologist and appropriate treatment.

Symptoms of pathological phimosis in children 5 years and older:

The epithelium completely hides the surface of the penis, it is difficult to remove the head from under the skin.
Hyperemia, soreness and swelling in the area of the preputial sac. In a certain percentage of patients, purulent discharge is noted due to the development of the inflammatory process.
Urinary disorders. It is difficult for a child to urinate: urine first accumulates under the skin, after which it is excreted in a thin, interrupted stream.
Pain when trying to release the head of the penis in a calm state or in case of spontaneous erection.

ATTENTION! Hyperthermia, weakness, malaise, headache and other symptoms of general intoxication, which developed against the background of urinary outflow retention, indicate the development of infectious processes in the child's body and require urgent medical intervention.

There can be several reasons for the development of phimosis pathologies in boys of 5 years old.:

Scleroderma of the penis, deficiency of elastic tissue in the patient's body.
Infectious and bacterial diseases of the genitourinary system.
Injuries and burns of the penis, as a result of which the epithelial tissue is replaced by connective tissue, forming scars.
Non-compliance with personal hygiene, which can lead to the development of inflammation and the development of balanitis.
Genetic predisposition to the development of pathology.

The answer to the question: “Phimosis in a 7-year-old boy, what should I do?” There can be only one answer - take him to the doctor.

Varieties of the disease

The physiological deficiency in the development of the epithelial tissue of the penis is caused by synechia, that is, embryonic adhesions preserved between the epithelium of the head of the penis and the inner leaf of the prepuce. As the penis grows, the head pushes the synechiae apart, and its release occurs without difficulty..

Physiological phimosis at 5 years old can be the norm, it usually disappears by 6-7 years, but in some cases it can persist up to 9-10 years. It does not require treatment, however, it involves observing especially careful hygiene of the penis and observation by a urologist in order to exclude the development of secondary, that is, pathological, phimosis.

phimosis classification

According to the nature of the occurrence, congenital (primary) and acquired (secondary) phimosis are distinguished. Congenital phimosis is diagnosed in children at the age of 10-11 years, if, due to physiological phimosis, the head of the penis still does not open completely. This case does not require surgical intervention, but the child must be registered with a surgeon or urologist and, if necessary, receive treatment.
Acquired phimosis in a 5-year-old child usually develops as a result of an injury to the penis and is characterized by the presence of scar formations on the epithelium of the prepuce. be sure to seek medical attention.
According to the type of pathology development, the disease is divided into hypertrophic and atrophic. With hypertrophy of the prepuce, excess epithelial tissue hangs from the head, as a result of which it can only be partially opened, or it is not exposed at all.
In the atrophic form, phimosis in a boy at the age of 4 develops due to the fact that the thinned epithelium of the foreskin is too tightly adjacent to the surface of the penis.
According to the severity, phimosis is divided into 4 stages:
- at rest, the head is exposed without difficulty. During an erection, the prepuce moves with difficulty, the child may be disturbed by pain;
- it is difficult to remove the penis from the skin fold in a calm state and it is impossible when an erection occurs;
- the head of the penis does not open at all or is only partially exposed in a calm state. Urine before excretion may accumulate under the skin;
- the child is experiencing pain. Removing the head is not possible. Urine is excreted drop by drop or by an interrupted stream. Before urination, the preputial sac seems swollen from overflowing fluid. The foreskin is edematous, hyperemic, covered with cracks.

ATTENTION! With the development of phimosis of the 4th degree, the child urgently needs the help of a surgeon, since such conditions are dangerous with acute urinary retention and the development of intoxication of the body.

Photo

We present to your attention a photo of phimosis in boys 5 years old:

Consequences for the health of the child

Until the age of 12-13, physiological phimosis, like phimosis in a 7-year-old boy, which does not cause pain and does not interfere with the outflow of urine, does not pose a danger to the child's health.

Observe hygiene. Accumulations of smegma and urine in the preputial sac can provoke stagnation and, in the most severe cases, the formation of smegmolites - stones formed from accumulations of smegma.
You can not try to forcefully expose the head of the penis manually. Such methods can lead to tears and cracks in the foreskin and, as a result, to scarring.
It is necessary to control the condition of the foreskin: if redness or swelling appears on the skin, then you should consult a doctor.

In adolescents over 11-13 years old, pathological phimosis can cause a number of unpleasant consequences.:

Paraphimosis - infringement of the head of the penis by a narrowed foreskin.
Inflammatory diseases of the genitourinary system, which developed due to the impossibility of proper hygienic care. The urine accumulated in the preputial sac serves as a favorable environment for the reproduction of pathogenic microorganisms, and the increased pressure in the cavity of the foreskin causes the reverse flow of urine and the spread of bacteria along the urinary tract.
With phimosis of 3-4 degrees, fusion of the foreskin with the skin of the head of the penis develops - synechia is formed. For the treatment of such pathologies resort to surgical intervention.

ATTENTION! Paraphimosis provokes swelling of the head of the penis and causes its subsequent necrosis. In case of infringement of the head of the penis by the prepuce, it is urgent to seek medical help.

When should treatment be started?

If a child under 6-7 years old has phimosis phenomena that do not cause inconvenience to the boy, you should seek advice from a urologist. He will monitor the condition of the child and will be able to notice signs of pathology in time.

In addition, the doctor may recommend that the mother carry out special exercises with the boy, aimed at stretching the foreskin by hand. In some cases, the use of corticosteroid ointments and gels that increase skin elasticity is also prescribed. You can find an overview of the various ointments prescribed for a child with phimosis.

If phimosis persists after 12-14 years or passes into stage 3-4, then the patient needs surgical treatment. In this case, circumcision is performed - an operation to remove the foreskin. It takes an average of 10-15 minutes and has minimal risks of complications. 3-4 hours after circumcision, the boy begins to urinate independently.

With development, circumcision is impossible. Therefore, the intervention takes place in 2 stages: during the first operation, a longitudinal dissection of the prepuce is performed, and during the second, its removal.

What to do during an exacerbation?

If the child has pain when trying to urinate, purulent discharge from the urethra or sediment in the urine, contact a specialist. All of these symptoms are indicative of a urinary tract infection..

This condition requires medical supervision, antimicrobial therapy and careful hygiene of the child's genitals. The urologist deals with the treatment of the disease.

The surgeon should be contacted if the child complains of pain, cracks in the prepuce, the need to strain during urination. This symptomatology indicates the development of secondary, pathological phimosis and is an indication for a disease or surgical intervention.

And adolescents up to 13-14 years old are a physiological condition that, as a rule, does not require medical or surgical treatment. However, a child with a similar diagnosis should be registered with a urologist in order to prevent the development of pathologies and, if necessary, start therapy on time.

Useful video

Tips for parents from a urologist about this problem: