Why shouldn't you be afraid of childbirth? A positive attitude is the key to a successful birth! How not to be afraid of childbirth - a positive attitude is the key to success

13.06.2019

Fear of childbirth, whether first or second, is normal and fairly common. But still, many pregnant women want to know how not to be afraid of childbirth, and is it possible to avoid fear at all?

The appearance of fear and its nature depend on a variety of factors that directly affect the psychological state of the woman in labor. Some are afraid of the unknown (this applies to women who give birth for the first time). They do not know what will happen and how, hence the fear arises. Women who give birth again, on the contrary, are afraid of childbirth, because they remember the pain and possible complications of the first time. Still others have a fear of harming the baby, hurting him. The fourth are terribly afraid of pain, and they have a fear of not being able to stand it. But you should not worry in advance, you should not forget that any woman intuitively knows how to behave during childbirth, this is inherent in her by nature itself.

So the happy moment has come when mom and baby see each other for the first time. At this time, looking at the newborn, it is impossible to imagine what a difficult path he overcame just five minutes ago. It is believed that the uterus and passage through the birth canal put high pressure on the newborn. But do not worry, because this natural process is unlikely to cause any harm to the baby.

Every mother knows that the tighter you hug the baby, the louder he laughs. And children, tightly wrapped in diapers, can sleep sweetly and soundly. So put your worries aside and remember that the first experience of overcoming difficulties is birth. And this process is thought out by nature itself. Forget about fears and help your baby to be born strong, healthy and happy.

Birth and the sensations of a newborn

There is no doubt that nature took care of the newborn at the time of birth. He is protected from pain and discomfort as much as possible. When the baby is ready to show himself to the world, he enters a state of hibernation, this is a kind of "hibernation". The child's sensitivity is dulled due to the command that the brain gives. As a result, the baby ceases to feel pain, his hearing is turned off. Moreover, he stops making movements. He loses the need to breathe, so that while passing through the birth canal, the baby will not suffocate and choke. For an adult, this lack of oxygen can be fatal.

The body of the mother and child during childbirth work in unison. To make the natural process of the birth of a new person easy and comfortable, remove fear and panic, leaving only positive emotions.

Why you shouldn't be afraid for yourself, or how to stop being afraid of childbirth, if such fear is already bothering you? Perhaps, it is very rare that the expectant mother is not worried at all. Self-fear is no exception. But again, if you consider how exactly the female body works during childbirth, you can bring some peace of mind into the waiting process and restore faith in your own strength.

During pregnancy, the female body prepares itself for the birth of a child. The hormones relaxin and elastin are produced, which are responsible for the elasticity and physical strength of the female body during childbirth. The body stores moisture, which makes the body more elastic. Moisture also has a beneficial effect on ligaments, cartilage tissues, and their condition plays an important role in the process of labor. The two weeks before childbirth is considered a relaxation time. Relaxation is essential to help the female body prepare for the upcoming birth. At this time, you need to turn off the function of increased activity, remove anxiety about a little excess weight, if any. Weight gain is within the permissible limits only on the hand of the woman in labor, because in the layers of accumulated fat there is a supply of energy that will help during childbirth and in the postpartum stage.

What gives an understanding of the process of labor

If you want to know how not to be afraid of childbirth, the advice of a psychologist will help you get the maximum amount of useful information. Knowledge and understanding of what is happening enable the expectant mother to believe in herself. Having the necessary information, a woman will be able to breathe correctly, understand the meaning of pain, and concentrate at the right moments. But even without preparation at the time of childbirth, the female brain works with such force that the woman in labor intuitively knows and understands the essence of what is happening, even giving birth for the first time.

Pain helps in childbirth

Contractions! So excruciating, painful and endless. The feeling that you have been split in half, and it does not end indefinitely. This is how those who go to childbirth for the first time imagine contractions. Torture like death. In fact, this is a normal physiological process that must be endured and bravely endured. After all, if this pain could not be endured, there could be no question of independent childbirth.

To begin with, contractions do not come like a tsunami, and build up gradually. Initially, they will be short and weak with long breaks. Then the time between contractions decreases, and they themselves increase in time. But all this is a natural process that must be endured. With the birth of a child, the pain will go away, a moment of euphoria and relief will come. With the first cry of the baby, everything will pass, as if nothing had happened, streams of happiness and joy will rush.

When the fear of pain persists, a pregnant woman tries to look for ways to relieve the pain of labor. But it should be understood that the pain caused by contractions during labor exists for a reason, it performs a specific function. In general, the whole process of childbirth is planned out to the smallest detail. The pain itself gives the woman in labor an understanding of what is happening to her and her baby, at what stage the childbirth is, how close the moment the baby is born. The nature of the pain is different at each moment, and with the help of this mechanism, nature speaks of the baby's condition and the progress of childbirth. Also, the pain of contractions reduces the pain of pushing, which the body has taken care of.

The very sensation of pain can be relieved by tapping or exercising. If fear overcomes common sense, you just need to remember that the mother is responsible not only for herself, but also for her child. And for the birth of a healthy baby, in order to avoid serious consequences, you need to be patient and focus not on pain, but on the very process of giving birth.

Knowing that will give self-confidence. But the information must be presented correctly, so as not to scare, but to prompt. The expectant mother should clearly understand for herself that all participants in the process are disposed towards a positive outcome, and she needs to work closely with them.

Where can I get the information I need?

Now for pregnant women they conduct a lot of courses aimed at preparing a woman for the upcoming birth. Searching for any information on your own is not only a waste of time, but also a high risk of getting inaccurate knowledge. At special courses, each future woman in childbirth will have an individual approach, she will be provided not only with the necessary information on the upcoming birth, but will also be given a positive charge, which is simply necessary to get rid of fears.

Courses for pregnant women: what they teach there

Correct not only helps to open the birth canal, but also helps to relax a little. If you attend these courses with a partner who will be present during childbirth, he will learn how to do a special relaxing massage. Also, the future woman in labor will be taught poses that can help facilitate the process of having a baby.

Keeping up with the times

If earlier a woman had to give birth lying on a chair, in one position, now times have changed. During the period of contractions and the birth itself, it is simply necessary to change postures, breathe correctly and do massage. This will not only help the expectant mother to relax, but also simplify the path through the birth canal for the child.

Danger

A woman during childbirth listens to her feelings and, if she feels danger, should immediately tell the doctor about it. At the same time, it is important to clearly follow his instructions, which is also taught in special courses.

Unexpected situations

Unfortunately, there are situations that cannot be predicted or predicted in any way. Premature delivery, complications at the time of delivery, or any other situation requiring urgent surgical intervention. You cannot be ready for everything, but in any situation, do not lose faith, hope and composure.

This article should tell you how to tune in to childbirth and not be afraid. In conclusion, it must be said that a positive attitude, support of loved ones and relatives play an important role. Don't ignore the advice of doctors or watch or listen to bad stories.

After the appearance of the baby, a happy mother will be left alone with her child, and these are the happiest moments in the life of every woman. Believe me, they are worth it to survive childbirth, experience the pain of contractions and attempts. Just one smile of your child, his fragile, delicate body and incredible smell will make you forget about all the fears and what pain you had to endure.

Whatever one may say, it will be difficult to find a more solemn and responsible event than childbirth in a woman's life. Among other things, everyone, without exception, knows how painful the process of giving birth to a little man can be, therefore it is quite natural and normal to be afraid of this hour. However, every woman is afraid in her own way, for example, those who become mothers for the first time worry about the unknown, and those who already have the relevant experience behind them, on the contrary, of what they have already experienced. So how to tune in to childbirth and not be afraid, how to convince yourself that fears will not help and prepare for childbirth without unnecessary fuss and stupid fear? In fact, it all depends on many factors that are worth comprehending before a little baby is finally asked to be born.

I'm afraid to give birth for the first time, what to do: uncertainty breeds unfounded fears

Numerous women, even during pregnancy, repeatedly repeat the phrase, in the manner of "I'm afraid to give birth for the first time" or something similar. Naturally, for a young and inexperienced lady, this seems like something completely incomprehensible, frightening and even deadly. However, all this is due to a greater extent to the fact that the future mother simply does not have enough reliable and truthful information about exactly how this process will take place, what to expect, and what you can absolutely not be afraid of. Therefore, you should never avoid probable sources of obtaining such information, hoping at random, hoping that everyone in the hospital will then tell and show.

Numerous courses for pregnant women, where you can, and even need to go with the baby's father, will help you understand everything more thoroughly. Experienced instructors will tell you what to expect, what to do and how to stop being afraid to give birth, which is what we actually need.
For more comprehensive information, you can also connect "independent" sources. For example, the modern spread of new computer technologies will make it possible to read information on the net and even watch a video, if it is very interesting.
Communicating with friends and relatives who already have this experience is usually very good at helping to get rid of thoughts such as "I don't want to give birth, what to do, how to avoid this moment."
It should be understood that every time the childbirth process is a completely unique phenomenon and it will definitely not work to predict everything, without exception, the nuances. Therefore, you just need to get a maximum of various knowledge of how to act and what to do in various cases, in order to be fully armed when needed.

It is important to remember

Do not forget that watching some content, as well as reading medical materials that tell about pathologies and various problems, will not lead to anything good. And in general, all the information should be sensibly dosed, without turning yourself into a maniac who only thinks about how she will give birth. By doing this, you will completely ruin your nerves for yourself and for your husband, and for the unborn baby, this behavior of his mother is unlikely to please.

Physiology and anatomy: I don't want to give birth myself, I want a cesarean

To begin with, you need to carefully study what awaits you in general, that is, to understand what stages of childbirth will have to be transferred. It is worth paying a lot of attention to these stages, and since you will be busy acquiring interesting knowledge and skills, there will be no time to worry about fear.

The longest of all is the period in which contractions appear, and it can last for five, seven, or even twelve hours, for each woman in different ways.
Correct breathing is also very important, with the help of which the mother provides the baby with sufficient oxygen. It is better to focus on just this, having studied all the nuances, and postpone the issues of pain and not think about it at all.
This will be followed by attempts, lasting from twenty minutes to two hours, as a result of which the uterus contracts, pushing the long-awaited crumbs into the white light.

You need to know that you should not worry about the baby if the pregnancy was proceeding normally, because it is reliably protected from the process itself by a special mechanism - the state of hibernation. That is, the passage of the crumbs through narrow and cramped passages, strong squeezing will not bring him, not only pain, but even discomfort, which is also feared by the overwhelming majority of mothers. The fact is that he seems to fall into anabiotic state, he does not move, does not see, and does not hear, and also does not feel any pain.

That is why you should not count on the fact that with a cesarean section you will be able to get by with a little blood. Moreover, it is worthwhile to understand that nature has specially "thought out" just such a mechanism for the birth of a child, in order to launch special neurohormonal processes in a woman's body, making her actually a mother. And for a baby, a cesarean section will not bring anything good, since he appears unprepared in this world, such children then often get sick, grow up weak and nervous.

Today, a cesarean section can be prescribed not only in view of the pathologies of fetal development that she has or problems with the mother's health, but also at a special request, but this should not be done, since it will not bring anything good, and it will not relieve pain either, so how most often such operations are carried out using local anesthesia, that is, you will not be under the influence of anesthesia, and scars and cuts will hurt for not a month, or even more. Among other things, having already done a cesarean once for no particular reason, you can very often hear such phrases as “I'm afraid to give birth to a second child, what to do and how to be?”, That is, fear from this definitely does not go away.

We choose a maternity hospital, tune in to joy and often communicate with loved ones: how to survive childbirth if you are very afraid of pain

Many women, having already experienced acute pain during childbirth, say that they are afraid to give birth a second time. Naturally, knowing what to expect, especially if everything did not go smoothly enough the first time, you can get quite nervous, but you should think about how to distract yourself, do more important things than shake in vain over your thoughts and experiences. Therefore, it is extremely important to pay attention to the correct choice of the maternity ward, you can go and get acquainted with specialists who will help you cope with childbirth, communicate with them, ask a million questions that are swarming in your head.

You can also think about whether it is worth taking your next of kin with you to childbirth, and this should definitely be discussed in advance. It should never come as a surprise for a husband that he will look at how his daughter or son is born. True, to be completely honest, most men are shocked by this process, confusing, and then they refuse to "have" the next child. Consult with your husband, mother, sister, tell them that you are very afraid to give birth a second time, and you want someone to support. No surprises or surprises, it is completely inappropriate here.

Need to know

If you are afraid of giving birth a second time, and the feeling of fear literally overwhelms you, you should definitely consult a doctor who will explain that everything is in your hands. After all, it is the second birth that is a chance to correct all the mistakes that were made due to inexperience or for other reasons. Focus on the process, most likely, the uterus will open faster, which will give less pain, and the contractions will end earlier.

If the fear of experiencing unbearable pain literally drives you into depression, then you must definitely tell your doctor about it. He will advise how to get out of this state or recommend an experienced specialist who can help. A very important role in this is played by a positive attitude, which must be maintained in oneself, thoughts should be exclusively about the good, and the expectations of a meeting with your own child will do the rest. Moreover, the calmer you are, the better you learn to relax, the faster and easier the birth will take place.

Naturally, it is impossible to give answers to all questions, because, by and large, all this is individual, and no one knows how the birth will proceed for you. Indeed, how not to be afraid of childbirth, giving advice is much easier than giving birth yourself, but experienced and competent psychologists have found a few words for those who wish to listen and hear. It is clear that the state before childbirth is usually the most exciting and is often simply poisoned by vain fears that can be stopped and even forgotten if the expectant mother is taken seriously and with all the responsibility.

Never wear hoodies or dresses that you don't like. Choose funny jumpsuits with a lettering on a belly, funny sundresses, and the like, which add positive and comfort. Do not listen to idle gossip, and if you really want to, and the doctor does not mind, then you can dye your hair, cut your hair, regularly go shopping and indulge yourself with small surprises.
You should not limit yourself in communicating with other women in position, it is very useful. You can exchange experiences, talk about your own fears and understand that you are not at all alone, which will definitely help to cope with the problem.
Talk to your spouse about a nightly lower back and feet massage session, and you will wait for the evening with patience, as such procedures relieve fatigue, pain, and bad mood.
It is worth thinking about what to decorate your house, make a rearrangement or even repair, in connection with the appearance of a new resident. This will allow you to distract yourself from your own person and forget about unnecessary fears.

Regular aromatherapy sessions, spa treatments, and even simple soothing herbal teas can help to calm down and look at the upcoming birth without feeling overwhelming. It is clear that you first need to consult a doctor so that he gives the go-ahead for all this. The main thing is to look to the future with hope, because soon there will be a little man next to you who will need all your love and support. Among other things, take a look around, in the world there is a colossal number of people who were born once, that is, they also had mothers, who were just as afraid and worried. There is nothing wrong with fear itself, the main thing is that it should not be overpowered by the joy of the anticipation of motherhood.

Every pregnant woman dreams of meeting her baby, but at the same time she is very worried about how the “X-day” will go. Almost everyone is afraid of childbirth: primiparas are afraid of the unknown, and the "experienced" already understand how difficult it will be for them. And, despite the fact that fear is usually not beneficial, especially in the birth process, it is normal and natural to feel it on the eve of childbirth. The main thing is that excitement and anxiety do not become pathological. In this article, we will talk about how to stop panic fear of childbirth and tune in to a positive wave.

Knowledge will help you not to be afraid of childbirth!

Probably, it is impossible to give an unambiguous answer to the question of how not to be afraid to give birth. However, everyone knows a simple truth: usually we are afraid of what we do not know and do not understand. In this connection, we advise expectant mothers not to ignore information about the progress of childbirth in the hope that "in the hospital they will tell everything, my business is to come there." We currently have many opportunities to learn about childbirth, primarily through the Internet. However, the information should be dosed and filtered - choose for viewing those videos where women in labor are calm and behave adequately; do not go too deeply into the study of any one topic. Remember, you can't foresee everything. Your main task is awareness and psychological acceptance of what will happen to you.

The basics that every pregnant woman needs to know are the stages of an upcoming labor. The longest will be the period of contractions, which become stronger and more frequent over time. It can take 7-12 hours. During contractions, it is important for a woman in labor to breathe correctly, providing the baby with oxygen, and try to relax as much as possible between contractions. Then attempts begin, which last on average from half an hour to an hour and a half, and the long-awaited baby is finally born. The separation of the placenta is called the third stage of labor. Primiparas usually do not even notice this stage, being in the euphoria of meeting with their beloved baby.

Careful preparation for childbirth: breathing techniques, Kegel exercises, relaxation techniques

It is not for nothing that in preparing for childbirth, such close attention is paid to teaching correct breathing. Breathing deeply during contractions means providing the baby with oxygen during the muscular work of the uterus, preventing hypoxia, and, in addition, significantly numbing the contractions. Concentrating on breathing, a woman is distracted from pain, "withdraws into herself." At the first stage of labor (the period of contractions), you need to breathe as deeply as possible, slowly and measuredly. The more the uterus opens, the more often breathing should become. When the time comes to push, you will need to breathe frequently and shallowly. Thus, you will save your own strength and help the baby. It is good if during the birth process you will be reminded of the correct breathing by your husband or other close person who shares this exciting moment with you.

Kegel exercises are mandatory not only for pregnant women, but in anticipation of childbirth, they acquire special relevance. Thanks to these exercises, you will be able to "pump up" the muscles responsible for the baby's progress through the birth canal, make this process less traumatic and painful, and avoid tearing. Kegel exercises also facilitate postpartum recovery. They are performed very simply, since they are based on one action: it is necessary to squeeze and unclench the intimate muscles located between the vagina and the anus.

As you prepare for childbirth, think about things that can help you relax during labor. Rehearse comfortable, comfortable postures (on all fours, sitting on a fitball, standing with support on your partner). Massages of the lower back, back and neck with a birthing partner, immersion in a warm bath, or using a shower are very helpful. Some women are helped by acupuncture, aromatherapy, music.

Choosing a maternity hospital, a doctor and support for loved ones

Many women are scared to give birth due to the fact that they have to find themselves in a completely unfamiliar environment, to trust in such an intimate and psychologically stressful moment to people whom they see for the first time. And it doesn't matter that these are qualified specialists, because in fact only a few of us enjoy being in medical institutions. In order not to worry about this topic, it is advisable for the future mother to decide in advance at least with the maternity hospital to which she prefers to go. If you have the opportunity to choose a contract delivery - great! Surely, the confidence that the birth will take place "according to plan", in a comfortable environment, will do its job, and you will feel much calmer. If you are about to have a regular, "free" birth, it makes sense to at least visit one or more maternity hospitals to understand where you will be most comfortable. The choice of a particular maternity hospital is your complete right. Doctors of the ambulance should listen to the wishes of the woman in labor and take her wherever she says, if it is, of course, possible.

Whether to take a husband or another close person (mother, sister, mother-in-law) for childbirth is up to you. However, for many women in labor, the help of their relatives is an invaluable plus. The doctor or midwife is unlikely to sit next to you during the entire period of labor, and your beloved husband, most likely, will not leave for a second, give you some water if necessary, give you a massage or wash your face. And at the most crucial moment, during attempts, he may well come out of the delivery room, if you do not want him to see all the "details" of the process.

A positive attitude is the key to a successful birth!

Both while waiting and during childbirth, it is important to remain calm and confident that everything will be fine. Don't let the inevitable excitement turn into panic! While waiting for the baby, try to think about pleasant things - imagine:

what will your newborn be like;
how wonderful it will be to hold him in your arms and breastfeed;
how strong and loving your family will be with the advent of a child;
how great it will be to finally realize that pregnancy and childbirth are over, you have done it!
how can you lie on your stomach again with a clear conscience.

And with regard to childbirth, you need to understand: your main task is to learn how to relax between contractions. The uterus is a muscular organ, and the fear of a woman leads to the fact that the muscles tense, the cervix does not open well, and childbirth is delayed. Therefore, calmness, relaxation and relaxation are in your best interest. Don't tune in to wild pain. Feeling at the peak of a contraction depends a lot on your breathing and mental state. And most importantly, do not forget that everything will be over soon, and your beloved baby will be next to you!

Thoughts about childbirth often poison expectant mothers during the last happy weeks of pregnancy. In order not to focus on your fears, we recommend that you read the advice of psychologists below. So, what will help not to be afraid of labor pain, according to experts:

Communication with other pregnant women. The feeling that you are not alone in your experiences is very reassuring. In addition, it is likely that you will learn something new about pain relief and relaxation techniques from your friends.
Dress nicely and comfortably, please yourself.
Decorate your home, surround yourself with nice little things. Buy fresh flowers.
Ask your husband to massage your feet and lower back more often (at the same time he will practice in such a wonderful technique of pain relief).
Pleasant smells - lavender, rose, jasmine - help to calm down. Get yourself a spa treatment periodically, in the salon or at home.
Decoctions of soothing herbs (motherwort, valerian, oregano, lemon balm, sweet clover), in the absence of contraindications and allergies, can help you to be more relaxed about childbirth.

How not to be afraid to give birth a second time?

Fear of a second birth is an extremely urgent problem. Of course, some mothers have a positive experience of the first birth, and in an effort to give life to another baby, they are not afraid of anything. But there are still more of those who are afraid. Women usually really want to become a mother for the second time, but to give birth ...

What should a pregnant woman do a second time? How not to be afraid to have a second child? Let's just say - you already carry a crumb under your heart that you love and wait for. In any case, you will have to go through childbirth. Of course, there is also a caesarean section, but you probably guess that it is far from the best.

In fact, giving birth a second time is more likely to be easier. The second birth is an opportunity not to repeat the mistakes made during the first. You already have experience, you know what to expect. Your body is more experienced, and your uterus is likely to open faster. Do not get too carried away by studying the forums: the fact that someone had a second birth was more difficult than the first, does not mean at all that it will be the same for you. And our brain "loves" to cling to negative information very much.

How not to be afraid of childbirth: books to help expectant mothers

Even knowing how the childbirth is going, having mastered breathing techniques and having successfully "completed" courses for pregnant women, women continue to worry and worry. Perhaps it will be useful for expectant mothers to read several books about childbirth by famous authors:

1. Grantley Dick-Reed "Childbirth without Fear" ... The wonderful English obstetrician Grantley Dick-Reed explains in his book to women that childbirth is not suffering at all. According to him, it is the attitude towards pain, fear and panic that turns a natural process into something terrible. Dick-Reed considers the method of general use of anesthesia in childbirth to be completely wrong. The original title of the book, Natural Childbirth, gave the name to the whole area of obstetrics. The author of "Childbirth without Fear" helps pregnant women understand that giving birth is the highest destiny of a woman, and this process should not be painful and frightening.

2. Preparing for Birth by William and Martha Sears ... Someone who, and the Sears spouses know exactly how not to be afraid to give birth, because they themselves are the parents of eight children! In addition, William and Martha Sears are professional physicians and midwives. In their book, the Sears talk about the importance of mother's behavior during childbirth, the need to take responsibility for what is happening, not relying only on doctors. The authors are convinced that childbirth is a natural and wonderful process that should be harmonious and bring joy, not suffering.

3. Michelle Auden "Childbirth Reborn" ... Michel Auden, a French obstetrician and publicist, is an amazing person. He is already 85 years old, of which he devoted 21 years to practical obstetrics, taking 1000 births a year. His scientific works, books, lectures, seminars and his own work have had a tremendous impact on the modern practice of obstetrics. The woman in labor has ceased to be perceived as a passive object subjected to various medical interventions. Michelle Auden is a supporter of a calm environment in childbirth, the use of the pool, an opponent of unreasonable caesarean sections.

You can find these books in our

Waiting for a child is a wonderful period, despite all its difficulties. But the closer the moment of meeting with the baby, the stronger the fear of childbirth, which not only seriously darkens the pleasant expectation, but can also harm. So let's beat him!

Why is fear of childbirth dangerous?

Motherhood is the main purpose of a woman. And there is no greater happiness than picking up your blood for the first time. But the upcoming birth in some expectant mothers causes real panic, which, being completely irrational, can cause harm. Namely:

the baby in the womb feels all the experiences of the mother and worries himself;
during childbirth, panic is completely useless - despite the pain, a woman needs to maintain maximum self-control and clearly follow all the instructions of the doctor and obstetrician;
fear and pain are interrelated phenomena. The more you are afraid, the more painful the birth will be.

But it’s pain that scares us in the first place, right? It turns out a vicious circle, breaking which is the primary task.

On the causes of fear

Where does fear come from, and what exactly is a woman in labor afraid of? It would seem, what could be more natural for a woman to give birth? But in our imagination, the generic process seems to be something very scary and dangerous. Why it happens?

Perhaps the roots of fear of childbirth stretch back to past centuries, when the mortality rate of women in childbirth and their babies was too high. Plus, the stories of our grandmothers and mothers about Soviet maternity hospitals with dull walls and rude staff. In addition, complaints about doctors are found everywhere today: in newspapers, on TV, on Internet forums, etc. How can one not be afraid of getting to medical facilities in such an atmosphere? Uncertainty (if the birth is first) is also depressing! It is difficult to imagine, let alone predict, how everything will go. And this is perhaps the most important factor.

When asked what exactly scares in childbirth, most women answer:

pain;
possible death;
the birth of a child with disabilities.

Yes, it is so frightening that some expectant mothers, having learned about their interesting situation, begin to think about abortion and about the readiness to go for a cesarean section, just not to give birth naturally.

Pregnancy and childbirth are important jobs that will result in a happy motherhood. And in order to overcome the fear of the moment of delivery, you will also have to work hard. Psychologists and their valuable advice will help us with this:

First of all, women in an interesting position it is recommended to protect yourself from any "horror stories"... On the contrary, you should focus on happy stories, which are much more than sad ones. And it's simple - look around and see how many mothers with children are around. They all went through childbirth and did not die. You can also raise statistics and find out the percentage of unfavorable outcomes during childbirth. It is negligible, and this is a weighty argument to stop shaking like an aspen leaf, drawing in your imagination one more terrible picture than the other.
In order not to be tormented by the unknown, it is useful read special literature and find out how the child's birth is going. This will help to realize that we are talking about a natural process for the female body, and there is nothing to be afraid of. In addition, deep theoretical knowledge will help during childbirth to be not a defenseless patient in the hands of doctors, but a full participant in the process, completely and completely in control of the situation.
Instead of passively indulging in fear get busy! Take a notebook and pen, write a plan of action to be taken before giving birth, and meticulously put it into practice. Gather things for the maternity hospital, buy everything you need for the baby, clean up the house, prepare the nursery, decide on the maternity hospital, agree with the doctor who will lead the birth, etc. Such useful work will push black thoughts away.

Psychologist Marina Antonova gives valuable advice. She says:

“It is very important to be aware of your fear. Not to hide from him, but to look him in the face and admit that you are afraid. Then "put the fear on the shelves." Answer yourself clearly what exactly scares you. And on each point to put forward their counter-arguments. As a result, the fear will not resist your logic and retreats. You need to be honest with yourself and your loved ones. You shouldn't "turn on" pride and pretend to be an iron lady. After all, the support and understanding of loved ones work wonders. By the way, partner childbirth is possible today. You can take your husband or other relative with you, who will see to it that everything goes well, which means there is nothing to be afraid of. "

If you, being pregnant, met a friend who told you about all the horrors of the upcoming birth, do not listen to her. Or rather listen, but try not to take information so personally. After all, each organism is individual and childbirth can take place in different ways. However, absolutely all women experience fear of childbirth, regardless of the presence of older children. Firstborns are afraid of childbirth, because they do not know what awaits them. Women who give birth again are also afraid, and precisely because they know what to expect. However, the right attitude, awareness and inner peace will help you overcome your fear of childbirth.

Why is a woman afraid of childbirth

There are several reasons why women are dreading the day ahead. To overcome this fear, you need to try to understand what exactly the expectant mother is afraid of?

What will happen?
This is one of the main issues of concern to many pregnant women who give birth to a baby for the first time. The fear of the unknown is one of the most serious and powerful. To get rid of it, you need to be informed. There is no need to watch visual videos about labor on the net - for many emotional women, they can be overly impressive, anxiety can lead to premature birth. Also, do not look for information in medical sources, since most often pathological cases are described there - you do not need to load your head with unnecessary information. You can find various brochures and other teaching aids in maternity hospitals that describe in detail (but quite aesthetically and correctly) the process of childbirth. You can be like a course for pregnant women, in which the doctor talks about how the childbirth should take place in stages. Ask the women who have given birth in the family to talk about the process, but they should understand that this should be done gently, without emotional excesses. Correctly presented information is the basis for the calmness of a pregnant woman.

Can I take the pain?

This is another question that worries many mothers. Pain is considered a good reason for fear of childbirth. Especially for those who give birth again. They know what to expect and sometimes go to the delivery room with tears. But do not despair, nature has foreseen everything - the woman's body independently prepares for childbirth - cartilage, muscles and ligaments before childbirth become more elastic, soft, stretching. In between contractions, a large amount of the pleasure hormone endorphin is released into the bloodstream to facilitate the labor process. Pain is needed, without it a woman will not be able to feel when to push, and when to stop pushing. Fall in love with pain, with its help you will soon see your baby.

Childbirth is a natural process that billions of women have gone through, are you really the weaker of them all? Modern conditions of medicine can prevent various complications and unforeseen situations. With severe and unbearable pain, a woman may ask for pain relief. It can be both general and local. Epidural anesthesia will allow you to not feel your lower body at all. However, it is worth resorting to such measures only as a last resort, because such anesthesia has many side effects. One famous gynecologist admits that during natural childbirth, with five fingers of opening the cervix, almost every woman asks for an epidural anesthesia, and with eight fingers - a cesarean section. But this only suggests that it remains to wait quite a bit and the attempts are about to begin.

Will everything be okay with the baby?
This is another point that the woman is worried about. After all, childbirth is stress and a serious test not only for the mother, but also for the child. During the passage of the baby through the birth canal, his breathing stops, he lacks oxygen. However, even here nature has foreseen everything. During childbirth, the baby is immersed in hibernation, his body does not need a lot of oxygen, his heart rate increases. The baby practically does not move at the time of passing through the birth canal. Surely women remember how a newly born child looks like a lifeless doll. And as soon as the doctor cuts the umbilical cord and pats the baby on the bottom, he seems to wake up, begins to actively scream, move his legs and arms. When you first hear the voice of your child, all the hardships of childbirth will fade into the background, because in front of you there will be a baby, the meeting with whom was so long-awaited. There is no need to worry about the condition of the child during childbirth - modern medical equipment allows monitoring the heartbeat and the state of the fetus throughout the entire birth process. If any problems arise, doctors can always take the necessary action.

These are the main fears that plague a woman before childbirth. Moreover, there is a pattern that connects a woman's fear and pain during childbirth. If a woman is afraid, all her muscles are constrained in a spasm, the cervix is hard to relax and the opening takes a long time. You need to try to relax and get through this moment. Remember, at the end of a difficult path you will meet your baby, isn't it a miracle? You need to understand that with each contraction you are getting closer to delivery, the pain will not last forever. Just a little more and everything will remain only in memories.

If at the very thought of childbirth you are bound by fear and horror, you need to try to prepare for childbirth and calm down. Here are some tips to help you stop being afraid of childbirth.

Some women say they give birth for 10-12-20 hours. In fact, you do not need to be afraid of this, because the pain from contractions does not last all the time. In the beginning, the contraction lasts about 10-20 seconds every 20 minutes. It hurts only three times an hour - this is normal, it is not at all difficult to endure such pain. Pain vaguely resembles menstrual pain. Over time, the contractions become more prolonged, more frequent. But even just before childbirth, there are small intervals between minute contractions during which you can rest from the pain. The most painful is the attempts, but they do not last long. 2-3 strong contractions, during which the baby will already be born. During pushing, it is very important to have an obstetrician-gynecologist who says when to push and when to be patient. The presence of soft tissue ruptures in the perineum depends on this.
Choosing a doctor is another crucial moment. If you are so afraid of childbirth, you should not go by ambulance to the maternity hospital for registration. Make an appointment with a trusted doctor in advance. Having a reliable and experienced specialist during childbirth will allow you not to think about the correctness of the actions of the medical staff and you will be able to concentrate on labor.
To make the delivery process go faster and with less stress, train your muscles in advance. Of course, no one says that you need to swing the press and pull the barbell, but there should be permissible physical activity. This is yoga and gymnastics for pregnant women, swimming, frequent walking.
If you feel calmer this way, you can take a loved one with you to the birth ward - your mother or husband. A partner childbirth allows you to unload emotionally, and the support of a loved one will undoubtedly do the trick. Do not worry about the aesthetic side of the issue, at the moment of attempts a man is usually asked to leave.
It is very important to learn how to breathe correctly during childbirth. You need to inhale air through your nose, and exhale through your mouth, preferably wide open. Such breathing improves the elasticity of the ligaments, gives an analgesic effect, makes the cervix open faster.
You can relieve pain during labor with movement - walking dulls the pain and allows the uterus to open faster. You can also jump on a fitball - it also gives the desired relief. Be sure to massage your lower back - if the placenta is attached to the back of the uterus, this will also bring relief.
Some pregnant women worry that labor will start ahead of time. Do not be nervous, after 35 weeks the child is quite viable and can survive in new conditions for him. To make the anxieties go away, just prepare the bag in advance for the hospital. Collecting things will not only add stability to situations, but also distract you from unnecessary thoughts.
Prepare all the necessary things that you may need in case of a sudden onset of labor. This is an exchange card, a passport, other documents, keys, money, things prepared in advance at the hospital, a telephone. In a prominent place, write the phone number of loved ones, taxi, doctor, husband. Agree with a neighbor or grandmother about the need to suddenly abandon the older child. Think about how you will go to the hospital. Closer to childbirth, long trips should be canceled in order to avoid unforeseen situations.
Some mothers worry that they will undergo unnecessary medical manipulation. However, anything can happen during labor. Do not insist on the naturalness of the process, because the main thing for you is the birth of a healthy baby. However, you have the right to ask what is being done and why, learn about the purpose of any prescribed drugs. If you want to give birth naturally, seek out a doctor who supports you. However, remember that an unforeseen situation can force the doctor to choose a different route of delivery, in these moments it is better to entrust the professionalism of the doctor. After all, the life and health of the child is at stake.
When preparing for childbirth, you need to know how to act when your first contractions occur. As soon as you feel the first "signals", it is imperative to warn your husband or acquaintances to be on the alert. Take a shower, take hygiene measures. Collect the bag, send the older child to grandma, feed the cat, etc. No panic or fear - everything goes according to plan.

This simple but necessary knowledge will help you approach childbirth more calmly and not be afraid of such a complex, but absolutely natural process.

Some hard-hearted people are surprised - after all, they gave birth earlier, went into the field and returned with a child, no doctors and equipment were needed. But such skeptics can object - "earlier" and the mortality rate was high, many children died in the birth canal during the long process of childbirth, and the woman was dying of bleeding, in the same place, in the field. Fortunately, modern medicine allows us to carry and give birth to a healthy baby, even if something went wrong. Childbirth is wonderful, your baby's birthday will be the best day in your life.