What are gender characteristics. The main gender differences that exist between men and women

The concepts of gender and gender are often confused, and meanwhile, there is a quite significant, albeit not obvious, difference between them. Let's try to determine what gender is and what is its difference from gender. We can say that the biological sex - male and female - is an innate quality of the individual, which is revealed even at the stage of embryonic development; that the sex characteristic is unchanging and independent of the will of the individual. But is it that simple? Indeed, recently, with the help of modern medicine, you can change your gender. And the presence at birth of certain genital organs in a child does not mean that it can be definitely placed in the category of boys or girls. Indeed, now, for example, in the examination of athletes participating in competitions between women, not only the obvious female signs of their body are taken into account, but also the chromosomal set, since it occurs that, along with the female genital organs, male hormones are adjacent, and this gives such athletes some competitive advantage.

And yet, if the sex characteristic of most people is still biological and anatomical, the gender characteristic is unambiguously social, social and acquired as a result of education. In simpler terms, this can be reformulated as follows: male and female babies are born, but they become men and women. And the point is not even how a child is raised from the cradle - a girl or a boy: all of us are influenced by the cultural unconscious of our environment. And since gender is a cultural and social phenomenon, it can undergo changes along with the development of culture and society. For example, back in the 19th century, it was believed that a woman wears a dress and long hair, and a man - trousers and a short hairstyle, but now these things are not a sign of gender. Previously, “woman-academician”, “woman-politician” and “business woman” were considered something incredible, but now this is observed more and more often, and no longer surprises anyone.

But, nevertheless, the gender attribute ascribed to men and women is still tenacious in the mass consciousness, and the less developed society, the more it dominates individuals, imposing certain forms on them. family "and be sure to earn more than your wife. It is also believed that a man should be courageous, assertive, aggressive, engage in "male" professions, get involved in sports and fishing, and pursue a career at work. A woman is credited with being feminine, soft, emotional, getting married, having children, being docile and compliant, engaging in “female” professions, making a rather modest career in them, because she must devote most of her time to her family.

Which, alas, still dominate in some strata and even countries, give rise to gender problems for human individuals. A wife feeding the whole family; a husband on maternity leave to care for a newborn; a woman who sacrifices marriage for a successful scientific career; a man who is fond of embroidery - all of them, to one degree or another, are socially ostracized for their sex-inappropriate behavior. Is it possible to say unequivocally that gender is a social stereotype? Yes, because gender stereotypes - male and female - differ in different societies. For example, in the Spanish paradigm, being able to cook is a sign of a real macho, while in Slavic, standing at the stove is a purely female occupation.

It is obvious that gender stereotypes lead not only to gender problems, but also to the fact that the leading role in society is often assigned to men. Therefore, many developed countries are developing a special gender policy at the highest level. This means that the state takes responsibility for eliminating gender inequality and creates a code of laws to form an egalitarian (equal for all people) society. It should also pursue educational policies aimed at eradicating gender stereotypes.

Gender is a social gender that determines the characteristics of personal and group behavior.

Gender stereotype Is an emotionally colored and simplified image of a woman and a man.

There are three groups of stereotypes. The first is related to the consolidation of professional and family roles. The second is with femininity and masculinity. And the third stereotypical group is associated with differences (sex) in labor content.

Men and women are always credited with a particular style of behavior. "Feminine" is considered sinful, bodily, negative, childbearing, sensual, secondary. "Masculine" is compared with something positive, cultural, dominant, dominant.

As for labor activity, stereotypes have established their own order in it. A man is closer to leadership and creative work. For a woman - service labor (an activity of an expressive nature).

Let's touch on male and female family roles. It is believed that a man should not (be that as it may) be fully involved in family affairs, since this is a woman's responsibility.

Gender differences between men and women

Brain

It's not a secret for a long time that due to the brain differences, the brains of men and women are noticeably different.

Women often "play" with hints and often do not understand why men ask to talk about everything in detail and clearly. The fact is that the male half of humanity has a better developed right hemisphere. This dominance suggests that they are used to taking all words literally and not looking for a hidden meaning in them.

But the male brain is three hundred and twenty grams heavier than the female. Men are proud of this fact.

The degree of female mental giftedness is three and a half percent higher than male (despite the fact that the average IQ score (120) is the same for both men and women).

Communication

Differences in communication are visible from an early age. Girls are always more talkative than their peers - boys. In general, women are twice as sociable as men.

Conduct an experiment and you will understand that this is indeed the case.

Women even speak their own thoughts. They always want to speak up. The men think in silence.

Males mainly talk with friends solely for business or for the sake of making up a "beer" company.

Women never get tired of communication. They always find a reason for it. And if the ladies are silent for a long time, then something has happened to them.

Behavior

Men cry, but only when they get drunk in those moments when they are sure that no one sees their condition.

Women often speak out about their experiences, plans and ideas. Men have to “pull the tongue” to find out from them at least some details of a particular case (case, plan, and so on).

Conflict resolution

It was found that women deal with emotional problems more easily than with family conflicts.

During the height of the conflict, men are focused on the subject itself, through which the quarrel broke out. Women remember all their past mistakes and sins. They are more guided by someone else's opinion. What explains this behavior? A high degree of conformity.

Health

Revise the old cartoon about Carlson. He has such a phrase: "I am the sickest person in the world!" It was not said in vain, as it is very cool (for sure) characterizes the bulk of men.

Women have their own history. They try not to whine, not talk about illness and poor health. They do everything to appear stronger than they are in men's eyes.

Women often trust self-medication, folk remedies and techniques. Men choose the clinic and hospital corridors because they are sure that they have chosen the safest path.

Men get sick more often than women. That is why they are accustomed to being taken care of. If they are not given due attention, then they begin to resent, scandal, scream and get nervous. These behavioral elements exacerbate the diseases that men have.

Habit

Women can give up all habits if need be. It is much more difficult for men to part with what they are used to. Sometimes they refer to excuses like: "I'm so used to it, I'm sorry!" Women expect changes from men, but more often they do not wait for them.

The habit of eating is a man's habit. Men rarely understand those women who "turn on" willpower and adhere to all kinds of dietary prescriptions.

Hobbies, hobbies

Sports, gambling, cars, motorcycles are considered purely male hobbies. Embroidery, dancing, cooking are women's hobbies. The modern world has made the boundaries of hobbies "erased". After all, there are men who love to cook. By the way, it has been proven that men are the best cooks!

Love

A man less often confesses his love, putting into words the deepest sincerity. He is not built like a woman. Males have romantic impulses, but men are not able to stay in a romantic atmosphere all the time.

Women refuse to understand this, because they adore flowers, sweets, beautiful music, surprises, unexpected gifts.

Sex

Many men are in no hurry to tie themselves in marriage, as they are afraid that their "halves" will quickly lose all their sexuality.

Women are in a hurry to get married because they are overwhelmed by the fear of loneliness and "uselessness." In order to become the wife of a loved one, they fulfill all male sexual whims and whims, often imitate an orgasm.

You might be surprised now but the fact remains: a man perceives sexual acts (relationships) as an opportunity for self-affirmation and self-actualization.

For women, sex is a confirmation of deep feelings. For men - satisfaction of needs and getting "natural" pleasure.

The psychology of gender differences is a branch of psychology that studies the differences between people, due to their gender. The psychology of gender differences as a field of scientific knowledge focuses on the study of psychological characteristics, social roles and behavioral characteristics of males and females. In the history of studying the problem of sexual differentiation, two periods can be distinguished: pre-gender and gender proper.

In the pre-gender period (in the West - until the 1980s, and in Russia - until the 1990s), discussions about the determination of sex differences were carried out within the framework of two alternative paradigms: sociocultural and sociobiological.

According to the sociocultural model, gender differentiation is the result of socialization and cultural influences towards the development of specific social roles. Sociocultural factors create the necessary conditions for teaching traditional female and male roles.

Within the framework of the sociobiological model, sexual differentiation is a universal biological process that culture only forms and comprehends. Anatomical and physiological differences between the sexes are so obvious that psychological differences are mainly due to biological factors.

In the pre-gender period, the sociobiological model of sexual determination was more popular, it was accepted by a significant number of both foreign and domestic scientists. The research result of the pre-gender period was a list of sex differences, the presence of which was convincingly proven and substantiated in empirical studies, in other words, representatives of the psychological community came to an agreement about the existence of these differences.

The next period in the development of the psychology of sex differences - gender - was marked by attention to the sociocultural paradigm. Psychologists - supporters of feminism sought to prove that sociocultural factors are the main determinants of the few scientifically substantiated sex differences and gender differentiation. To confirm this point of view, two systems of evidence were used: the first system was based on the analysis of the generally accepted procedure for psychological research, the second was based on the results of the study of psychological differences between the sexes in dynamics.

Gender and women's studies in psychology have convincingly demonstrated the leading role of the socialization process in the formation of gender differences. Many of the existing personality traits of men and women lend themselves to change in the course of learning, with a change in lifestyle and social expectations. Feminist criticism of psychological studies of sex differences has proven that differences in the psychological characteristics and behavior of men and women can be adequately explained only if the social circumstances that mediate their occurrence and manifestation are taken into account.

The most recent trends in the study of the problems of gender differentiation are associated with the development of a social-constructivist approach, which focuses not on measuring and describing gender differences, but on analyzing the process of their construction. In other words, gender differences are not studied as a product and an outcome, but as a process. The emphasis on the study of such processes has also determined the research methods, these are mainly qualitative rather than quantitative methods, among which the main one is the analysis of discursive practices as a means of constructing reality in general and gender in particular.

Psychologists began to study gender differences as early as the late 19th century, but until the 1970s. they were mostly engaged in demonstrating gender differences and justifying different attitudes towards men and women by this (Denmark, Fernandez, 1993). However, Maccoby and Jacklin (1974) identified only four psychological differences between the sexes (spatial orientation ability, mathematical ability, speech skills, and aggressiveness). Typically, psychology writers refer to these four differences, mentioning only in passing - and sometimes not mentioning at all - that men and women have much more similarities (Unger, 1990), and for the most part are silent about the fact that the results In recent studies, the revealed differences are very small (usually within 10%) and depend on the situation (Basow, 1986; Hyde, 1991; Maccoby, Jacklin, 1974; Pleck, 1978; Spence, 1993).

In the area of ​​sex differences, one of the most clearly formulated problems, it seemed, was the problem of sex differences in the organization of the brain. Some authors are convinced of the reality of the existence of gender differences, while others show a certain caution in this matter, which stimulates both the first and the second to conduct clinical, electrophysiological and other studies and to apply a variety of methodological approaches. However, most authors tend to recognize such a feature of the woman's brain as a lesser severity of functional asymmetry (FAM). In the studies of V.F. Konovalov and N.A. Otmakhova showed that the specialization of the right hemisphere in men and women is not the same (Konovalov, Otmakhova, 1984). Most of the works currently existing on the issue of FAM indicate that sex differences relate to the distribution of verbal and spatial functions between the hemispheres (Springer and Deutsch, 1983). There is evidence that women are superior to men in areas where language proficiency is primarily required, and men are superior to women in solving problems of a spatial nature (Maccoby, Jacklin, 1974).

Most researchers studying the cognitive sphere from the point of view of gender differences, primarily focused on the study of task performance, where various information is used: verbal, numerical or visual-spatial. Examples and analysis of this type of research are given in the monograph by Maccoby and Jacklin (Maccoby, Jacklin, 1974). Here sex differences are considered as a function of verbal, mathematical or visual-spatial abilities, and the researchers assume that these differences depend on the content of the task, more precisely, on the form and modality in which the information is presented in the task. However, there were very few reliably established facts. Women have better developed verbal abilities, men - spatial and mathematical. Insignificant differences were found in verbal abilities, in favor of women, the most significant - in the field of spatial information processing, in favor of men. Another feature of gender differences in the cognitive sphere was also established: over time (during the last 20-30 years studied), most of them tend to smooth out.

The study of gender differences in math ability has been going on for over 30 years, although no definitive conclusions have been drawn yet. Some math problems are better performed by women of a certain age, others by men (Trew, Kremer, 1998). In general, studies of boys and girls before graduation from junior high school either do not reveal any differences between the sexes (Callahan and Clements, 1984; Dossey et al., 1988; Siegel, Cocking, 1976), or find differences in favor of girls. (Brandon et al., 1985; Friedman, 1989). As for studies of high school students, in some of them girls performed tasks better than boys, in others - boys performed better than girls (Hilton, Berglund, 1974), and in others - no differences were found (Connor, Serbin, 1985). More unequivocal results were obtained in a study of students: young people performed tasks in general more successfully than girls (Friedman, 1989).

The discrepancy in mathematical abilities that suddenly manifests itself during puberty may be the result of the influence of a changed hormonal background or the result of an increase in social differences between boys and girls.

The "hormonal" theory seems inconclusive, if only because, according to recent studies, these differences have significantly decreased in recent years (Becker, Hedges, 1984; Friedman, 1989; Hyde, Frost, 1993), and this trend is observed throughout the countries that have advanced along the path of gender equality (Baker, Jones, 1993). There are good reasons to think that social factors play an important role in the genesis of gender differences in the field of mathematical abilities during puberty.

There are several compelling social explanations for the differences between men and women in their ability to solve math problems (Berne, 2001):

1. Women lack confidence in their mathematical abilities and do not expect to be successful in this area (Eccles, 1989; Fennema, Sherman, 1978; Hyde et al., 1990).

2. Girls perceive achievement in mathematics as inappropriate to their gender role (Hyde et al. 1990; Wentzel 1988; Eccles 1984a 1984b; Kimball 1989; Baker and Jones 1993).

3. Parents and teachers rarely encourage girls to study mathematics (Dweck, Bush, 1978; Dweck et al., 1978a; Parsons et al., 1982; Hyde et al., 1990; Eccles, 1990; Eccles-Parsons et al., 1982 ; Baker, Jones, 1993; Matyas, 1987; Sadker, Sadker, 1982).

4. Girls' lives outside school have less experience in math and problem solving (Kahle et al. 1990; Linn and Petersen 1986).

It also turned out that men and women use different strategies when performing cognitive tasks. For example, when driving a car, women are more effective at using verbal schemes, while men are more effective in visual ones. Thus, according to the concept proposed by the authors (Halpern, Wright, 1996), women are better at performing tasks related to the rapid retrieval of information from memory, and men are better at performing tasks when it is required to save mental images and manipulate them in their minds.

It is generally accepted that there are many gender differences in empathy and emotionality. It is often believed that women are better at expressing emotions and are more receptive to the feelings of others (empathic) than men. Indeed, the belief in the increased emotionality of women compared to men is one of the most trivial findings in the study of gender stereotypes (Birnbaum et al., 1980; Fabes, Martin, 1991). Attempts have been made to explain quite empirically the observed emotionality of women in the framework of various theoretical approaches and directions. So, according to evolutionary theories based on the works of Charles Darwin, women who have a reproductive function and are therefore closer to nature on the evolutionary ladder are lower than men. The same motives can be found in some modern sociobiological theories that assert that female reproductive function is the biological basis of emotionality (Kenrick, Trost, 1993).

The differences in emotionality between men and women can be viewed on several levels. At one level, we are dealing with the ability to understand the emotional states of others (empathy) and the ability to express this understanding (empathic expression). On another level, it is a person's experience of his emotions (emotional experiences) and the ways of expressing them (emotional expression). Both levels are important for mental health and interpersonal relationships.

When examining the level of empathy, the following fact is often found out: men do not want others to see them as empathic, because this does not correspond to the gender role (see section 1.7.3.3). Caring and affectionate are important properties of the female gender role. Thus, men, no worse than women, are able to determine the feelings of others and internally empathize with them, but they are interested in others not noticing this. First of all, the above applies to men who adhere to the traditional gender role and, therefore, consider empathy a quality that is not consistent with this role. In addition, the experience of socialization has developed in men the ability to suppress empathic responsiveness.

According to Tavris (1992), irrespective of gender, non-empowered people have a subtle sensitivity to non-verbal cues. This sensitivity is justified, since in order to survive, "subordinates" need the ability to perceive the signs of behavior of those in power and respond appropriately to them. In other words, women's sensitivity to the feelings of others is nothing more than an adaptive response to their dependent and subservient position.

The few studies that have been conducted suggest that men and women have equal emotionality, but express their emotions with varying degrees of intensity, due to differences in the rates of emotional expression (Berne, 2001).

Social psychologists who study gender differences in the emotional sphere, in their reasoning, proceed from the following point: emotions are influenced by the belief system regarding gender differences, it contains ideas about how men and women should emotionally react in certain situations. In addition, psychologists believe that it is impossible, when studying gender differences, to talk about emotions in general. It is necessary to distinguish between different types of emotions (anger, fear, sadness, joy, etc.), the peculiarities of their experience and expression, situations that cause certain emotions. Gender differences can apply to any of these components.

There is another area closely related to the emotional and related to gender differences - this is aggression. Based on the available empirical theoretical data, the following conclusions were drawn. Men show higher levels of physical aggression, expressed in physical actions. Various manifestations of indirect aggression are more typical for women. Men are more likely to be targets of physical assault, while women are more likely to be victims of sexual harassment. The formation of these (and a number of others) differences is largely influenced by the notions of gender roles that have developed in culture.

Differences in aggressive behavior are among the most significant gender differences, but, like other characteristics, they are far from being as great and not as strongly associated with biological differences as is commonly thought. In their review of the literature on gender differences, Maccoby and Jacklin (1974) concluded that aggression is the only social behavior whose gender specificity has been unequivocally proven. At the same time, Eagly and Steffen (1986) concluded that these differences are very small for adults. Part of the distorted perception of gender differences in the area of ​​aggression can be explained by the fact that the overwhelming majority of rapists and murderers are men. Another reason why men are considered more aggressive is the belief in our culture that elevated blood testosterone levels make them so. In fact, there is as yet no conclusive experimental evidence of a link between testosterone and aggression (Bjorkvist, 1994).

Bjorkvist and Niemela (1992) came to the conclusion that there are several factors that determine who is more aggressive - a man or a woman: the gender of the parties to the conflict, the type of aggression and the specific situation. The results of processing data obtained in studies of individuals (Harris, 1974b, 1992; Lagerspetz et al., 1988), and data from a meta-analysis based on these studies (Eagly, Steffen, 1986), allow us to come to the following conclusion: men are indeed more inclined to resort to overt physical aggression. This feature depends on a number of variables (Eagly, Wood, 1991). For example, gender differences are most noticeable in physical forms of aggression, as well as in situations that force aggression (for example, due to the performance of a certain social role), as opposed to situations when it is resorted to without any coercion. In addition, the propensity of men to demonstrate aggression increases in response to a significant provocation, but is not so strong in the absence of it.

However, the main reason for these differences remained unclear. Many biologists who study social behavior are of the opinion that gender differences in aggression are mainly due to genetic factors. According to this point of view, men are characterized by a higher level of physical aggression, because in the past such behavior allowed them to pass on their genes to the next generation. They argue that aggression helped our ancestors, who were looking for a female to mate, defeat rivals and thereby increased their ability to "perpetuate" their genes in future generations. The result of this natural selection associated with reproduction is that today's men are more prone to physical aggression, as well as to demonstrate physiological adaptations and mechanisms associated with such behavior.

An alternative explanation for gender differences in the sphere of aggression places emphasis on the influence of social and cultural factors. Many different options have been proposed for this explanation, but most of the evidence seems to support Eagly's hypothesis of interpretation of social role (Eagly, 1987; Eagly, Wood, 1991). According to this theory, gender differences in the sphere of aggression are generated mainly by the polarity of gender roles, that is, ideas about what, within a given culture, the behavior of representatives of different genders should be. Many peoples believe that women, unlike men, are more social creatures - that they are characterized by friendliness, concern for others, emotional expressiveness. On the contrary, men are expected to demonstrate strength - independence, self-confidence, thriftiness. According to the theory of social roles, gender differences in the sphere of aggression are generated mainly by the ideas of most cultures that men should behave more aggressively than women in a wide range of situations.

Despite the fact that in the studies of Eagly et al. (Eagly, 1987; Eagly, Carli, 1981) revealed only insignificant gender differences in exposure to influence, the stereotypical idea continues in the mind that women are more suggestible and conformable than men (Eagly, Wood, 1985). According to Igli et al. (Eagly, Wood, 1985; Eagly, 1983), the reason for the persistence of this view lies in the fact that women in general have a lower social status both at home and at work. People with less power and lower status are forced to largely yield to the influence of those who are higher in status. And since high-status roles are held by men more often than women, the latter are more likely to be in subordinate and conformal roles than men.

In a number of studies (Klein, Willerman, 1979; LaFrance, Carmen, 1980; Putnam, McCallister, 1980; Serbin et al., 1993), it was shown that the manifestation of poly-stereotypic behavior by men and women seriously depends on the characteristics of the situation and the behavior that is considered "correct" in this situation.

Apart from the anatomical and hormonal differences, what else is the difference between a man and a woman? It is still unclear whether the characterological characteristics of the sexes and their differences in abilities are innate or acquired. Begley and Carey (1979), who studied this problem in monkeys, obtained data suggesting that aggressiveness is related to male hormones. However, none of the studies conducted could reliably prove that sex differences in the level of aggressiveness are due only to hormonal influences. Aggressiveness is not the only trait that distinguishes men from women. Many other gender differences have also been described, most of which are related to special abilities. For example, boys have been found to have better analytical skills, while girls have better motor and verbal skills. Perhaps there are some genetic prerequisites for this, but it is likely that they are mostly caused by external factors. Scientists agree that most of these differences between men and women are not directly related to biological causes. It's just that boys tend to play with cars and other mechanical toys, while girls are usually given dolls to dress up and do. It has been noticed that mothers more often sing lullabies to their daughters than to their sons, talk to them more, and this circumstance can probably cause a better development of verbal abilities in girls compared to boys.

Much evidence suggests that a person's abilities and inclinations can develop and change in the course of learning and special training. Thus, changes in the educational system have significantly reduced the gender gap in the development of verbal, mathematical and spatial abilities (Deaux, 1985). Many psychologists have concluded that gender alone cannot predict behavior or propensity for certain skills (Hyde 1984; Hyde and Linn 1988; Matlin 1987).

Exercise 12.2

A psychologist told a journalist that girls in eighth grade scored lower on math tests than boys in their class. Based on this, a newspaper article concluded that there are innate differences in mathematical ability between men and women. Now that you know about the factors of sex differences, explain why the journalist's conclusion is incorrect.

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Evolution of Gender Role Perceptions

Over the past fifty years, the concept of male and female roles has become more flexible. Traditionally, masculinity has been associated with cruelty, aggressiveness, and independence. The man's role was to make decisions, ensure the well-being of the family, and earn money. From a woman, sympathy, understanding, gentleness, tenderness, sensitivity and humility were required; her interests were to be limited to her family and household.

One of the main reasons for the change in gender roles has been the increase in the number of working women. The modern woman can no longer satisfy the role performer of the will of a man, now she makes decisions herself, both at work and at home. Research shows that daughters internalize their mothers' gender-role attitudes. There are women who would be more willing to take care of children and home, but they are forced to work for a living, not getting job satisfaction. Naturally, such women adhere to traditional views of their sexual role, and these views are passed on to their children. Conversely, women who are passionate about work bring up a less traditional, more liberal attitude towards sex roles in their children.

Ickes and Barnes (1978) on the example of a student group on the influence of sex-role attitudes on inter-sex communication. They noticed that boys and girls with traditional ideas about gender roles looked at each other less often, talked to each other less often, smiled less and made fewer gestures when communicating, compared to those students whose gender role attitudes were more liberal. The latter are more willing to make contact with representatives of the opposite sex, are more relaxed and free in their behavior. The researchers also found that girls with traditional female roles are characterized by excessive anxiety and low self-esteem. Likewise, "courageous" young men are often restless, insecure, and neurotic (Unger and Crawford 1992).

Liberalization of gender-role attitudes eliminates the awkwardness and stiffness inherent in the situations of dating a man and a woman, increases the comfort of communication, but it also causes certain problems for women. More and more women complain of being sexually harassed by their male colleagues. These harassment ranges from dirty jokes and greasy remarks to outright rape attempts. However, some psychologists believe that this problem has always existed, and its current relevance is due to the fact that women, having become freer and more liberated in many respects, are simply ready to openly discuss it.

"Well, if you are a doctor, then I am the Minister of Health."

Rice. 12.2. These children are likely to grow up free of prejudice.

Working married women (mostly single mothers) have an additional cause for stress. Such mothers are "torn" between their own career aspirations and responsibility for the household and children. The desire to do everything and succeed in everything can cause a special kind of stress, which is called the "business woman syndrome." And here, according to McBride (1990), important factors are a woman's attitude to work, the moral and psychological climate in which she has to live and work, and the availability of help and support from friends.

The liberalization of the female role could not but cause the need for a change in male roles. Modern men are more involved in the upbringing of children and housekeeping. Understanding and accepting the changed roles and gender-role attitudes is one of the decisive conditions for harmony in relations between a man and a woman.

Exercise 12.3.

Determine which views on gender-role relations - traditional or liberal - each of the characters described below adheres or will adhere to in the future.

a. Claude told his wife that he had received a new assignment and that their family was to move to Liberia in two weeks. ______________________________

b. Madonna knows that her mother hates her job, but it is difficult for the family to live on her father's salary .___________________________________________

v. Jerome, a sophomore in college, feels as free with girls as he does with men .____________________

Mr. Thelma sued her boss, who offered to spend the night with him, promising a promotion in return. __________________________________________________________________

e. Mario deliberately stays at work until late at night so that he does not have to mess with the children at home .______________________________

LOVE

Psychologists are not as good at describing love experiences as poets. Lindzey, Hall and Thomson (1975) surveyed the population and defined love as "intense affection and sympathy." You probably know from experience that this feeling does not only arise between adults of the opposite sex. As a child, you undoubtedly felt love for your parents and, probably, for your grandparents. Or maybe you loved your cat, dog, or other pet.

As a child, your love was selfish: you needed to feel yourself loved, you rather demanded love, and did not wait and certainly did not give it. So, the child needs bodily contact with the mother, he needs how she presses him to her, this forms in him a sense of safety and security. As you got older, your love took on more mature forms. You learned to understand the feelings and needs of the other, to show concern for him. Think back to the first time you experienced melancholy while empathizing with your sick dog.

Love for a person requires more than understanding, caring and empathy. It also presupposes trust, respect and the desire to bring happiness to a person. Mature love does not require reciprocity. You can give your love to another without getting anything in return. Truly, in love there is always something to risk! In Western culture, love tends to be associated with possessiveness. You love someone and you want that person to belong only to you. The desire for complete possession breeds jealousy. But the traditions of other cultures suggest a completely different understanding of love. Some peoples have a custom that a man should offer his wife to a guest, thereby showing cordiality and hospitality. An interesting fact - men are usually more jealous than women. Still, love as a manifestation of only the possessive instinct in European culture is quite rare. If one day you have to experience a prick of jealousy, remember the words of Maslow (Maslow, 1970): “You can enjoy a picture without stealing it from a museum, admire a rose without plucking it from a bush, admire a baby without stealing it from its mother, listen to a nightingale singing without putting him in a cage. But in the same way, you can admire and enjoy another person without asserting your dominance over him. "

Control questions

Using the following questions, check how well you have mastered the material in this section of the chapter. Note whether each of the following statements is false or true.

1 .________ Parents are the first people to influence the gender attitudes of the child.

2.________ Observation is a condition for indirect teaching of gender roles.

3 .________ Attitudes about gender roles are innate.

4 .________ Gender roles are the same in all cultures.

5 .________ Over the past fifty years, gender roles have not changed significantly.

6 .________ The attitudes of women who do not want to, but are forced to work for the sake of earning money, regarding gender roles are flexible.

7 .________ Male students with a liberal attitude to gender roles feel more comfortable in the society of women.

8.________ Women who are burdened with responsibility for family and work often suffer from business woman syndrome.

9 .________ Selfish love is more giving than demanding.

10 ._______ Mature love is always mutual.

HETEROSEXUAL RELATIONSHIP

Have you ever wondered how your relationship with a person of the opposite sex goes? Gagnon and Greenblant describe three stages in the development of heterosexual relationships. You can easily recognize these stages in your relationship may be different. The first stage is filled with dating, during which a feeling of mutual attraction is formed; it is called the "stage of attraction." In another stage, emotional closeness arises and forms, and this is called the "stage of emotional closeness." The third stage is the "stage of sexual intimacy." Each of the above stages can begin and develop against the background of others, they can proceed in any sequence. However, mature heterosexual relationships necessarily go through all three stages.

Attraction

Close communication with the opposite sex and pairing usually begins during adolescence. Depending on fashion and local customs, teenagers meet and choose their friends and girlfriends at dances, parties, concerts, in sports clubs. Surely there was something similar in your youth. Remember why you liked this or that person, why you were attracted to him? Psychologists have found that in adolescence, a person often chooses a partner for himself, somewhat similar to one of his older acquaintances whom he loves or admires.

Perhaps the most important factor in the emergence of mutual attraction is natural proximity. You are more likely to develop a relationship with someone who lives nearby, with whom you study or work. We are also attracted to people whose attitudes and behaviors are similar to ours. Berelson and Steiner, in a survey of married couples, found that people tend to choose someone of the same race, religion, education level, social class, and even the same past family experience. Thus, a divorced man is more likely to like a divorced woman, a widow is more likely to be imbued with a widower, and a convinced bachelor will feel attracted to a woman who has never been married. If two people adhere to similar religious beliefs, if they plan their family life in the same way and relate to alcohol, then their mutual affection and attraction increases. In the process of communication, not only the mutual feeling of a man and a woman grows stronger, but their personal characteristics and individual abilities are becoming more and more similar. Research shows that as they live together, husband and wife become more and more alike. They internalize each other's thoughts, outlook on the world around them, and even mathematical abilities (Schwartz, 1988).

Computer programs designed for dating services are written with this observation in mind - the observation that people with similar attitudes and belonging to the same social class are more likely to like each other. Usually, when a person contacts a dating service, he is asked to answer in writing a series of questions concerning him social status, character traits, attitudes. Then he is asked to answer questions about how he sees his partner. After that, the computer compares the questionnaires of men with those of women and forms prospective pairs. This system is well debugged, but it can fail. Imagine the amazement of a young man who married his sister as a partner! This is because the computer, apparently, was not programmed to weed out men and women who were closely related. You may wonder: what about the eternal statement that opposites converge? If people really prefer to have as a partner a person of similar origin and with similar views, then where did this idea come from, and why is it so tenacious? Undoubtedly, there is a grain of truth in folk wisdom. Quite often it happens that a person who feels weak in something, is drawn to a person who is strong in this area. For example, a shy man may like a sociable, talkative woman - her chatter will help him overcome shyness. Likewise, an insecure woman will reach out to a confident, determined man who enjoys exercising willpower and authority. However, although in each pair the partners may be opposite to each other in strengths and weaknesses, they, as a rule, belong to the same social class and their views on the main life issues coincide. There is another, equally old opinion that only an inaccessible woman is attractive. But research does not give this thesis a worthy confirmation. Of course, "playing hard to get" increases the desirability of a woman in the eyes of a man, but excessive coldness makes him abandon his claims. A man just begins to think that he is not interested in this woman. But this does not mean that a woman must constantly demonstrate her availability to a man, it is enough to make it clear that she likes him, and she will become doubly desirable for him.

Exercise 12.4

Imagine you are hired for a dating service. Your predecessor left notes on his desk describing possible pairs. Give a reasoned opinion on each of the proposed pairs.

a. Maurice L., 55, divorced, married three times, graduated from Harvard University, co-owner of a law firm, atheist. He wants to meet a young woman. Loves parties and drinks.

Tanya M., 20 years old, secondary education, an employee in a department store; never married; professes the religion of Mormons. She wants to meet a man older than herself. Loves quiet entertainment with close friends.

b. Giulio 3., 48 years old, widower with three small children, owns a laundry chain, Jewish. He wants to find a woman with the aim of creating a family.

BetaJ., 43, widow, teenage daughter; since she lost her husband, she has been working as a beautician; Jewish. She is looking for a man who would allow her to devote herself to housekeeping and raising children.

v. Dwyne R., 22, bachelor, senior university student, studying English philology, Catholic. His studies leave him no time to meet with women. He wants to find an intelligent, interesting interlocutor.

Maria M., 21 years old, never married, a student of the penultimate year of the university, studying astronomy and history, a Catholic. She wants to meet a young man who could become her fellow student and keep company in various university events.