Co-existence and emotional connection. How to connect deeply with a guy
A fake emotional connection occurs when you give your heart and emotions to someone who transcends the friendship level. How does this happen? This happens when two people share deep things with each other, problems, worries, pain, even their dreams, personal prophecies and intimate secrets. These things should not be shared with those who are just friends or less. If you have this type of conversation with someone other than a spouse or intended spouse, you have crossed the boundaries of friendship and moved your relationship into something more. Soul bonding occurs when your souls bond through the exchange of intimate things, even if they are only in the mental area and not the physical. Over time, this can easily lead to physical intimacy, as you already feel connected to each other in your hearts.
Some of them may not move on to sexual relationships, but they have indulged in emotional relationships. I remember David and I serving in Qatar, a small country bordering Saudi Arabia. An Indian Christian woman asked me to pray for her marriage. When I agreed, I asked her about the specifics of family problems. She explained that her husband was weaker spiritually and that because of this she wanted to get a divorce. I went up to my husband and he said that he really wanted to save the marriage. I felt sincerity and deep sadness emanating from his heart.
On the other hand, the wife seemed completely indifferent. I pulled her aside and felt prompted to ask if there was abuse or another person. She said that her husband did not abuse her and that he had no mistress. But there was a different person in her life. I started asking questions again, especially because she called her husband spiritually weak. I asked if she had sexual intercourse with another person. She said no, but that there is an emotional connection between them. Although there was no sexual intimacy, they committed fake emotional intimacy, emotional adultery. This sin is as dangerous and destructive as sexual adultery.
I strongly advised her to repent for this emotional connection with another man, forgive her husband for all his wrong actions, and resolve all issues with him. There is no problem that God cannot help them solve. I consulted about the pain and harm that divorce could cause her 2-year-old son, and told her that her husband would do whatever God requires of him to save their marriage. I suggested that she seek help from her pastors and leaders.
In addition to the attraction based on physical appearance, there is the attraction of the general conversation - the deeper the conversation, the greater the attraction. The exchange of information about past and present pain and dreams of the future acts in a way that connects, forming emotional closeness, so this exchange should only be reserved for marriage relationships. Women tend to have a tendency to be too pliable towards men and too sensitive. Because men tend to be more reserved, any sign of interest, attention, or concern can easily be mistaken for more than a friendly gesture.
Sometimes there can be a reversal of roles, as happens with men, who can be completely obsessed and think of themselves as women; especially with men who have great deviations and consider themselves outcasts.
When a woman pays attention to them and shows them compassion, they may misinterpret it as a signal of wanting to be more than friends. Little good deeds or flirting can be misunderstood. Whether formed out of ignorance or deliberately, a fake emotional connection can easily take many forms, such as putting a shoulder to cry, listening to stories, comforting and supporting, or being a good friend.
Many personal relationships began with an emotional connection. Unfortunately, some are overwhelmed and suffer from intense pain, betrayal, rejection, abandonment, anger, resentment, unforgiveness, and hatred. These people are so affected by the breakup that they bring these negative feelings into other relationships, even their marriages. Numerous marriages have suffered or ended in divorce due to undue anger from past pain.
Here are some ways to prevent this kind of fake connection from taking place, especially between friends:
* Borders... Avoid sharing deep, intimate issues, such as your troubles, past troubles, and present pain, even your dreams and aspirations, personal struggles, prophecies, and innermost secrets, with anyone other than your spouse or intended spouse. Stop someone immediately but kindly if the conversation gets intimate. Let the person know that you only share these topics with your spouse.
* Avoid one-on-one serving with the opposite sex... In our ministry, we have made it a rule to evangelize or serve with a person of the same sex to avoid fake emotional connections. It's safer this way. When I was in high school, I witnessed to boys one-on-one and talked about Jesus with a sincere heart. They showed interest and made me believe that they really wanted to hear more about Jesus. In fact, they just wanted to come with me.
If you have fake emotional ties, break them completely, especially before marrying God's chosen one. It is imperative that you break the connection with every soul from your past relationships. Eliminate all love letters, photos, gifts and jewelry, and delete all emails and digital photos. Let there be no trace of them at all. Break every emotional connection with the power of the blood of Jesus. Let His blood wash away for every sin, memory and connection. When you are pure and free, you can become intimate with God and He will fill your void with His love and presence. May He take all your grievances and turn them into joy. Let Him restore your wholeness as you allow Him to take over your entire life.
Spiritual connection
A fake spiritual connection can happen so subtly that many are unaware of how they even fell into this trap. Strong Christians - girl and boy - can become spiritually attached if they share close spiritual things with each other. When they spend time praying together and sharing spiritual things with each other, without any physical or emotional connection, their spirits bond and a spiritual fake connection occurs.
Do not take someone of the opposite sex as your prayer partner. When you pray one-on-one with someone of the opposite sex, especially on a regular basis as prayer partners, you create a fake emotional and spiritual connection. It is easy to confuse brotherly love, compassion, and even the intense anointing you feel when you pray and share conversations with romantic love. As a relationship develops, it's easy to accept all those emotions as being connected by God.
Each mother intuitively feels an invisible emotional connection with the baby, which appears during pregnancy and continues to form after the birth of the baby. When a mother takes care of her baby, cares for his delicate skin, touches him, hugs the baby, or just is there, this affection becomes stronger and stronger.
The importance of emotional connection is difficult to overestimate, it helps the baby to develop harmoniously, to know the world, creates a solid foundation for his future life. Therefore, it is necessary to know what methods of strengthening this connection exist, and how it affects the development of the child.
Maria Evgenievna Baulina, PhD in Psychology, Associate Professor of the Department of Clinical Psychology of the Psychological and Social Faculty of the Russian State Medical University, member of the Johnson's® baby expert council, talks about how an emotional bond is formed between mother and baby, and gives advice on how to strengthen it:
Emotional connection and intellectual development of the baby
The development of a child's cognitive sphere consists of 2 main stages:
At the first stage, from 0 to 2 months, touch prevails in the interaction of the newborn with the mother. When the mother holds the baby in her arms, touches it, the baby receives information about the existence of certain parts of the body, various poses and types of movements. Also, at this stage of development of the crumbs, the sense of smell and taste are of great importance.
From 2 months, the child begins to use more and more other analyzers: vision and hearing. At this age, all types of sensations begin to coordinate with each other, become more conscious.
Emotional development of the baby
What is an emotional connection?
Emotional connection after birth also goes through 2 stages in its development:
Up to 6 months, the emotions of the crumbs help him express his desires, demonstrate the joy of communication. With the help of humming, gurgling, movements of arms and legs, a smile, the baby shows how correctly his mother understands his needs. These reactions constitute a "revitalization complex". And the more the mother touches the baby and communicates with him, the more vividly the baby will express his emotions.
After 6 months, the baby learns a new form of communication. He makes the face of mom stand out from others and gives him a clear preference. The kid imitates and adopts the mother's model of behavior, learns how to behave and express his emotions, imitating her, tries to copy her facial expressions and sounds. Therefore, you should show him only positive emotions, and over time, the baby will begin to reciprocate more and more brightly, he will reach out to his mother, try to hug or kiss her. This demonstration of trust and desire to be around is called attachment behavior.
"Signs" that the emotional connection is growing stronger
What is an emotional connection?
By observing the baby, the mother can easily notice signs that indicate a strengthening of the emotional connection with him. After all, a strong invisible connection shows how correctly the care of the baby is carried out, and his needs are satisfied. These signs include:
Lengthening periods of eye contact. Research has shown that skin-to-eye contact helps to maintain baby's gaze and develop his first attention-focusing skills.
An increase in the frequency and duration of the sounds that the baby makes. It is noticed that, being in the arms or feeling the touch of the mother, the child walks and gurgles more, so the baby "talks" to her
Baby's reaction to smells. Babies may feel anxious about overly saturated aromas. Using various means of caring for a child and yourself, you can see that the baby shudders and turns away if the smell is unpleasant for him, and smiles, clues to the mother's body when the aroma is unobtrusive and evokes positive emotions
Smile. It should be remembered that accompanying her smile and speech with gentle touches, the mother affects all the child's senses. The more mom touches the baby, the more emotional and open he will grow up.
Reaction to the mother's touch, mastering gestures and movements that express affection for her: hugs, strokes, gentle touches
Everyday rituals are the basis of trust in mom
Repeating the same events every day helps your baby get used to a certain routine. It has been proven that regular perception of the same stimuli accelerates the formation of connections between nerve cells in the brain. This mechanism underlies the development of speech, walking, mastering object-related actions. Everyday rituals, such as washing, walking, lullaby before bed, relaxing massage, create a feeling of security, and gradually the baby begins to participate more and more actively in their implementation.
Emotional connection and daily childcare routines
1. Preventive massage
What is an emotional connection?
Children's preventive massage is necessary for every child from the first days of life. After all, it has a beneficial effect not only on the physical, but also on the emotional development of the baby. Daily massage promotes:
Strengthening the cardiovascular and nervous system of the baby
Normalization of lactation in mom
Reducing the level of stress hormones in the child's body and in the mother's body
Easy falling asleep and sound sleep
Strengthening the emotional connection between mom and baby
After all, massage is a great way to convey to the baby the entire palette of possible tactile and vestibular sensations: pressure, stroking, patting. Feeling touches to the arms, legs, back, the child gets an idea of his own body, the skill of expressing emotions through facial expressions and gestures, and tries to demonstrate independent movements.
It should be noted that the use of "intermediaries" during the massage, in the form of creams, oils, expands the range of perceived tactile sensations and brings other positive effects, such as a decrease in signs of stress during the procedure, a greater moisturizing and soothing effect, better hand sliding, and a decrease in pressure. on the baby.
Remember, massage and touching are some of the most powerful ways to strengthen the emotional bond between mom and baby. Research has shown that touch not only brings you closer, but also helps your baby to develop harmoniously. They affect how in the future he will relate to other people, communicate with them, as well as his attitude towards himself and the world around him.
Therefore, touch the baby carefully and gently and you will notice that every day you become even closer to each other.
2. Skin care crumbs
Taking care of baby's delicate skin also helps to form and strengthen the emotional bond between mom and baby. For this:
Smile at the baby, tell what and why you are doing, together "look for" where the nose, crumbs' ears are, and then the procedure will bring you both only pleasure
When caring for your baby, use products designed specifically for children, because the very thin and delicate skin of the baby requires special care. If the baby is still very small (0-3 months), opt for products marked "suitable for newborns".
3. Bathing
4. Falling asleep
In order for the baby to be able to calmly rest all night, it is necessary to devote a couple of hours every evening to preparing for bed. Follow a specific sequence of actions to make it easier for the baby to tune in to sleep. To keep your child asleep and sound asleep throughout the night, use products that contain a soothing scent.
When putting the baby to bed, remember that the smells that the baby felt while being with you (the aroma of breast milk, food, cosmetic lotions and creams, clothes) will remind him of you, creating the atmosphere of care and warmth familiar to the baby during sleep. Therefore, leave your thing in the baby's crib - this will allow him to feel the closeness of his mother even in a dream.
It should be noted that in newborns it is easy to associate a particular smell with the situation with which it is associated. Therefore, using the usual means of caring for the baby, the mother helps the child learn to anticipate the coming events: for example, to tune in to bathing, massage or sleep.
When caring for a baby, remember that an invisible emotional connection is formed between you, which contributes to the harmonious development of the baby. Therefore, try to spend as much free time with him as possible, hug, kiss him, touch the baby more often so that he always feels your tenderness and care.
Trust your maternal instinct, enjoy the time spent with the baby, because attachment and communication with him are beneficial not only today, but also have a fruitful impact on the future life of the baby.
Maria BAULINA
Much has been said about the importance of close and warm emotional relationships between loving people. But, unfortunately, it is in this field that a huge number of quarrels, problems and omissions arise.
Emotional connection- this is the foundation on which relationships are often held. In principle, they should be based on it. Yes, the sexual and intellectual aspects of compatibility are insanely important, but if you do not have connection and understanding at the level of feelings and emotions, then you cannot call a full-fledged relationship.
If you feel that you are not doing well with this aspect, try to figure out the reason and, if possible, change something. To start analyze your relationship. How do you feel for your partner (love, tenderness, desire to care, irritation, anger, etc.). What his actions and words evoke positive emotions in you, what negative ones.
Think about why your couple does not have a strong emotional bond? Not formed at the beginning of the relationship? Loose in the process? Is it emotional coldness or character traits? All this is important to determine, so answer with utmost honesty, for yourself! Also, decide for yourself what exactly you want, what kind of changes.
When a more or less clear picture of the reasons appears, you can begin to strengthen the emotional connection in a couple and the desired changes.
Talk and discuss!
It is advisable to carry out the analysis process described above in conjunction with a partner! If you are not ready for this and the start of the changes lies on your shoulders, then introduce conversations, discussions of your relationships and feelings little by little.
Be sure to talk about what is important to you, about experiences, about the emotions that your partner's actions cause in you. But, do not dwell only on discussing the negative, but ...
Celebrate positive things.
Praise your partner, notice his merits and emphasize how glad you are, happy that he is so good with you. Encourage, celebrate successes, try to inspire.
Be sincere in your feelings!
There is no point in pretending - this is your loved one, your significant other, if you like. Say what you feel, but so that your partner understands you. Try not to be rude. After all, sincerity is not synonymous with permissiveness and rudeness.
Touch your partner.
Many works have been written about the power, or even the magic of touch. They are insanely important! Hold hands, hug more often, stroke your hair, skin. Strive to be truly closer to each other!
When I stood in line, a man was standing next to me. He was on the phone with his wife and was trying to figure out what to buy for her. His voice was loud, he tried to understand if he understood her order correctly, it was clear that the conversation was unbalancing him. It seemed to me that he talked for several hours.
I couldn't get rid of the thought of how this couple feels when they have to communicate like this on the phone. If they talk like that to each other every day, then I would call it emotional trauma for both of them.
His tone was starting to unnerve me, and I wanted to run out of the store. I had to pull myself together to finally wait for my turn. Those 5 minutes were unbearable. For me, this conversation turned out to be very disturbing, I could not stop thinking about it all day.
I work with couples on intimate life, I help them feel safe and supported by each other. Many couples come to counseling because they do not feel emotionally safe or have had a history of betrayal, which has shaken the close bond between them.
Relationship security is achieved through a sincere emotional connection between partners. That is, in order to improve relationships, you need to change your behavior.
How can you create an emotional connection with a partner and develop the skills of normal communication with each other.
1. Define and name your feelings
The first step to identifying your feelings is recognizing that you have them. Many men and some women cannot understand if they are feeling anything at all. When you ask them how you feel, you hear the answer: "I don't know." If you are a living person, then you have feelings. Point.
2. Share your feelings with your partner
3. Practice the exercise with only one person speaking
This exercise helps the person to express their thoughts or perceptions, while the other person, at the same time, listens carefully and repeats what he heard. If he understood everything correctly, then the partners change roles. If not, then you need to try to explain again.
4. Spend quality time with each other.
If you are together, then you must be together emotionally, physically and spiritually. You must be present for each other at a particular moment.
5. Your partner is always your faithful friend
Find a way to make your partner feel like he is your number one priority. Answer his calls immediately. Send him nice messages throughout the day. Get creative.
6. Keep your promises
If you say you’ll mow your lawn tomorrow, then do it. If you're not going to take out the trash before work, don't say you will.
7. Love your partner everything
No need to point out to him his weaknesses; he himself knows about them. Accept it with all its cockroaches in your head. Do not forget that you also have them, but you expect respect from your partner.
8. Encourage your partner with words and actions.
Be positive and help your partner get better. He, in turn, will help you become the best version of yourself.
9. Be supportive to each other
Don't substitute your partner. Relationship security and trust means protecting your partner and being close to him in all situations.
10. Protect your relationship from other people
You need to protect relationships from parents, from colleagues who constantly flirt. Only the two of you can strengthen your relationship and keep each other safe.
You need to immediately eliminate threats to your relationship or marriage. By creating an emotional connection with each other, relationships become more stable and fulfilling.
According to tantric teachings, when a man meets a woman, an exchange of energy begins between them.
It is natural for a man to be charged with energy from above (ideological), and a woman - from below (energy of force). To bring an idea to life, a man needs to be “charged” with female power. And a woman, since she is a "bank" of energy, is not able to spend it for action, but only gives it, because she receives the kind of energy she needs only in the process of interacting with a man.
There is always an exchange of energies between the strong and the weaker sex. As soon as a boy is born, he already has a mother who inspires him, giving him her motherly love. Then he meets his first, second love, a pretty employee at work - in all the fair sex, a man seeks to find the very source of energy, filled with strength from which he can successfully realize himself in life.
Then, when a love relationship is struck between a man and a woman, the woman surrenders (not only physically, but also taking care of her beloved, morally and intellectually), and the man, receiving female power, is able to create and perform active actions in life.
Everything is clear with this, but this is only the initial stage, during which the energy does not flow yet, because the exchange itself does not take place. Having been filled with the necessary feminine strength that allows him to embody his ideas, a man should return energy to a woman (in the form of gifts, financial care, physical assistance), in such an amount as to inspire his lady for subsequent bestowal.
And this interaction is constant.
Energy connection between a man and a woman
In the case when people feel sympathy for each other, they actively exchange their energies and this process gives them mutual pleasure. In contact between the biofields of two individuals, channels are formed through which energy circulates from one side to the other.
These streams can differ in their colors and shape (they can be seen by people with psychic abilities).
Partners are connected through these energy channels through one or another, based on the type of their communication:
- by - kinship;
- by - relationships like lovers, married couples or friends for an easy pastime;
- family ties, relationships between colleagues at work, bosses, friends in sports hobbies - those people with whom you have to compete;
- on - this type of connection will tell about relationships in which objects interact with each other emotionally - these are the people for whom we feel love. But in order for the relationship between a man and a woman to be harmonious, it is important that they have a sufficiently well developed channel of sexual energy;
- on - the relationship between like-minded people, work colleagues;
- on - often communication on this channel speaks of copying their idols, sect leaders and various organizations. The hypnotic channel is well developed, other people's thoughts and ideas are suggested. People are connected to each other by telepathic communication
- on - communication is present only at the level of egregors (collective, family, religious and others).
And the more both partners show their interest in each other, the more extensive energy channel is formed between them. And with the establishment of strong relationships, it is observed.
This is how a love relationship is formed, over which neither time nor distance will have power. For example, a mother always feels her child, wherever he is, even if a lot of time has passed since their last meeting.
In a healthy relationship between a man and a woman, clean, bright, pulsating channels are formed. Then the partners trust each other, they are sincere, but at the same time preserve their personal living space. In this case, we can talk about an equivalent energy exchange, without disturbances.
And if the relationship is unhealthy, for example, one of the partners becomes dependent on the other, then the channels become dull, heavy. In such a connection, there is no freedom, often lovers over time show irritation, aggression and anger towards each other.
When one of the partners wants to take full control of the other, there is an aura enveloping from all sides.
With the death of a relationship, the same thing happens with the channels - they become thinner, weaker. After a long period of time, the movement of energy through the channels stops and people seem to become strangers, as if nothing connected them before.
And if there was a separation, but the energy channels were preserved, then people continue to be drawn to each other. Such a scenario may also happen, when one of the former lovers broke off the energy connection and closed himself off from subsequent influences, and the second continues to restore relations, breaking through his layer of energy protection.
Energy connection between people during sexual intercourse
If there was a close relationship between people, the channels are not destroyed for a long time after parting. This is especially pronounced during sexual intercourse.
When we have sexual intercourse with a new partner, a new channel is formed through the sexual chakra. Such channels remain active for a very long time (for years, and sometimes they remain active even throughout life).
At the same time, it does not play a significant role whether the sexual partners managed to get to know each other sufficiently or their connection was fleeting (at a party, at prom, etc.), the energy channel through the sexual chakra will still be formed and will be active for a very long time.
And if there is a channel, energy continues to circulate through it. And what kind of plan it will be - positive or negative, you can find out about this only if you know both partners well.
An interesting feature is that people living together are characterized by the adjustment of their energy shells relative to each other. For harmonious intimate relationships, synchronization of biofields is necessary. That is why, often lovers, when they live together, over time acquire similarities with each other (often even physical).
When a person does not want to contact with anyone, he closes his own contour, as a result of which there is a reflection of all energy flows emanating from others. Then it seems to other people that they are not being heard.
Features of male and female energy in a pair
As mentioned above, in the case of mutual feelings between lovers, a single energy field arises, which will be maintained in the future if the conditions of partnership are met. The couple will become stronger if both of the partners will fill their union with their energy, supporting both themselves and their beloved (beloved).
A very important point - each of the partners must act according to their nature: a man - like a man, and a woman - like a woman.
For example, when a woman develops masculine energy in herself, manifesting in the physical world like a man, then if she lives alone, perhaps this will not affect her well-being in any way. But, being in the conditions of a couple, her man will be forced to develop a female demeanor (the same rule applies to men).
In general, in a couple, the man is responsible for the world of material wealth, and the woman is responsible for the sensual manifestations and the atmosphere of the relationship in general. Therefore, a man gives energy through the material chakra, and a woman receives, and she, in turn, gives energy through the heart chakra.
This was laid down by nature and actions against her will negatively affect the state of the partners individually and the couple as a whole.