Old people in a nursing home. How they live in an American nursing home. Cons of nursing homes

29.09.2019

Lizaveta Petrovna presented her old age as follows: a quiet, cozy country house, tulle curtains on the windows, a stove, creaking floorboards, Vaska the cat. A small vegetable garden - carrots, parsley, cucumbers ... The morning crow of a rooster, the night starry sky, the crackling of branches in the forest. In summer, the house is filled with noise and bustle. Children and grandchildren arrive. Lizaveta Petrovna only has time to put fragrant cabbage soup and ruddy pies on the table. In the evenings, grandfather makes a fire, takes out a samovar, sing songs of her youth. Birds chirp, apples crunch on teeth, grasshoppers chirp all night long. Hands, though weakened over the years, can still do something. And wash, and wash, and tidy up, and knit socks for the beloved youngest bully-great-grandson. Lizaveta Petrovna's parents and her grandparents met their old age this way.

But everything turned out differently for her. She buried her husband early, and she was not even 50 yet. The son-in-law made good money, but spent all the money in casinos and in slot machines. The old village house had to be repaid for the debts. Lizaveta Petrovna moved to her daughter's two-room apartment. Grandchildren were born, and my grandmother began to interfere, even create problems. Either he forgets the kettle on the stove, then he does not close the door, then he gets lost in three courtyards. Then there was a stroke, and another. There was no money for a nurse, relatives could not follow the semi-paralyzed granny. The daughter and her son-in-law suffered for six months and took Lizaveta Petrovna to a nursing home - at least there was care.

And a series of harsh everyday life stretched. Others 'hands turned Lizaveta Petrovna roughly, others' eyes looked angrily as she spilled soup, dropped pieces of porridge from her mouth. An alien voice gave orders indifferently. Her feeble body was wrapped in someone else's official dressing gown. And all day long she lay facing the wall and thought of only one thing: "How long will it take? .. After all, I will die - and no one will be around."

And all day long she lay facing the wall and thought of only one thing: "How long will it take? ..."

At first, my daughter traveled regularly. I took some sweets, sweets, which Lizaveta Petrovna so tenderly took care of that they sat in the nightstand until a white coating on the chocolate glaze. Then a great-grandson was born, they moved to the other end of the city, they visited my grandmother less and less. And she herself reacted less and less to the environment, confused events and dates, names and faces.

Lies and looks into emptiness with faded eyes. Minutes merge into hours, hours into days, days into weeks, weeks into months. She lies in a bag and does not know whether she is alive or dead already. Little hands will not reach out to her, they will not hug her by the neck, and a childish voice will not call her tenderly "baba". The world froze as if it had stopped. Nothing happens, I don't want anything.

- Unfortunately, this is a common situation for Russian homes for the elderly and disabled. The saddest thing is that older people lose their motivation and interest in life, and with them their mental activity, and generally the connection with reality, - says Anna Rusakova, executive director of the Old Age in Joy charity fund. - The staff of the institution does not have any physical ability to organize leisure for the elderly, even just to talk to them. One nurse often has more than 50 bedridden patients per day. And even if artists come, seriously ill grandfathers and grandmothers do not see them, because they cannot independently reach the hall where the charity concert is taking place. No one will speak for each chamber separately. A person bedridden, completely devoid of attention and emotional support, tunes in to "living out", begins to think about imminent death and be sad. As a result, he completely goes into his own world, much more comfortable than what surrounds him.

Even if artists come, seriously ill grandfathers and grandmothers do not see them, because they cannot independently go to the hall where the concert is taking place.

This story happened in a nursing home deep near Tambov. Lizaveta Petrovna had not spoken for several years, had not sat, had not gotten out of bed. And then a miracle happened in the life of a lonely grandmother.

- Such a healthy guy comes in, right with an accordion, sits down between the bunks in the aisle and opens his bandura. I thought, I decided with my mind, what is this happening! And he sang - we all died out. How well she sings, - says a roommate. - They clapped him for a long time. I looked into her corner - priests! And she claps! And we thought she no longer hears and does not understand anything. Another time he came - the nanny lifted her pillow, planted it. She moves her lips, as if singing along, looks at us and cries. I tell her: "Lizaveta, look, soon you will go dancing!" Then she laughed.

Charitable Foundation "Old Age in Joy" has been organizing classes for lonely old people in nursing homes for the past five years. Artists, musicians and care specialists come to bedridden patients, who communicate with grandparents, sing songs with them, read poetry, take them out for a walk, work with feelings and emotions. That is, they arrange a short but regular holiday, actually bringing them back to life.

Charitable Foundation "Old Age in Joy" has been organizing classes for lonely old people who are unable to move independently for five years

Now the Fund needs to raise 841,424 rubles to implement a program to support lonely old people in the Rzhevsky boarding school for the elderly and disabled, where there are 300 bedridden patients who have difficulties with the movement of patients. This money will be used to pay for a year of work for two specialists responsible for care, communication and walks, and one accordion player, who will give grandmothers concerts three times a week.

- Care professionals are specially trained nannies who treat our grandparents with love and warmth. Once again they will hug, caress, ask about life, - Anna Rusakova hands me a photograph in which four young women are rolling carriages with happy old people. - At first, patients treat a walk with distrust. For them, going outside is like flying into space. But then they get so into the taste that a whole queue is formed for export. Many have seen nothing in years but a gray piece of plaster. For some, a walk becomes an incentive to live until spring.

For some, a walk becomes an incentive to live until spring.

Old people rejoice in communication and attention like children. Payment for the project will be the best gift for them for the New Year. Every 100 rubles is an hour of the nanny's work. Each such bright hour for grandparents is a stimulus to life. Do not be lazy, make a few mouse movements, and you will present the whole world to hundreds of elderly people. This is the joy of creativity, and the opportunity to be active, and a warm emotional atmosphere. Happiness is not measured in money, but in this case, your money will help make lonely old people happier and their lives longer.

Every 100 rubles is an hour of the nanny's work. Do not be lazy, make a few mouse movements

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"Least of all love goes to our most beloved people"

“It's early Saturday morning, cloudy. April 1st. April Fool's Day, but now is not the time. Exciting fees. We put box by box into the car - getting ready. The boxes contain everything from essential supplies to gastronomic surprises. Let's go. The road is long, there is time to collect your thoughts, to think about how to behave at your destination. The first time everything is scary and difficult.

We arrive at the first point of the long journey - to the department of temporary residence of elderly citizens and disabled people in Dobrovodye. In other words, a nursing home. An elderly man meets us, pulls a trembling hand - he is worried, and even age ...

We pass into a spacious hall, pensioners with bated breath are watching what will happen now. They were waiting for us, and it can be seen: one lovely granny put on beads, painted her nails with varnish - she wants to be beautiful. He asks to bring ear clips to become the most fashionable and find a husband. Her friend does not lag behind - he retires to the room to put on a jacket with orders and medals. Everyone is looking forward to the holiday. We sing along to the accordion, we invite you to dance. Not everyone can: someone rubs a sore leg, lowering their eyes from resentment, someone is chained to a wheelchair. But there are those who get up and start dancing. Old people need joy! We inflate balloons, play, give sweets, flowers to women - congratulations on March 8. The old people are happy - the main task has been completed.

We unload humanitarian aid from the car, enter. It is immediately evident: the building is small and old. It turns out that not only pensioners are here, but also inpatients receiving treatment. The old people are bedridden, so we walk through the wards. The strongest retirees join our team and enter each of the rooms. And how they sing! You can listen. That's what old school means.

It is impossible to linger for a long time: they are waiting for us in the last place - a boarding school of small capacity for the elderly and disabled people of the Brasovsky district. This is the largest institution today - two buildings for the residence of pensioners. We enter, the old people are looking closely at the faces, looking for acquaintances. The arrival of volunteers is a great holiday for each of them. We begin the concert, grandmothers sing along with "Katyusha" and "Malinovka", grandfathers clap and smile. We go around the chambers - there are many lying. Every pensioner is touched to the core. Not far from the entrance there is a ward where a disabled grandfather lives. Strong man. He moves in a wheelchair, but does not give up. In conversation, he remembers his deceased wife and cries. A terrible picture. He sees in us family people and tries to be needed and useful - he gives away the fruit, you can't refuse - he will be offended.

The first of April is coming to an end, we are returning home. A contrasting day of laughter. Pinching in the chest.

April second. Sunday. Early morning. The same scheme - we load box by box into the car and drive. This time they are waiting for us in 2 places.

The first is the Zhukovsky boarding school for the elderly and disabled. A huge building on the banks of the Desna. Interesting and sometimes difficult work lies ahead. In addition to the concert and games with the elderly, you need to ask everyone whether they write letters to him, whether they send parcels and postcards. This is so important: you cannot leave people unattended. We take a photo, communicate with pensioners. I remember one grandmother who lives on the 2nd floor of the building. She could not go downstairs to the concert - she was sick. I went into her room, we got to talking. It turns out that she has been suffering from oncology for 4 years and is struggling. The staff takes her to Bryansk for examination. The woman suffers, but does not give up. She is happy when they write to her, and hangs the received postcards on the wall carpet.

In addition to pensioners, there are young people who, for various reasons, cannot live independently. One of these is a young couple Sasha and Olya. He is over 40, she is a little less. We met in a boarding school, fell in love and recently legalized our relationship. Showed rings, boasted. Happy people say!

The last point is a small-capacity boarding house for the elderly and disabled, located in the Dyatkovo district. The scheme of action is the same, only old people change. And their eyes. Sad, full of pain, they are instantly filled with hope, joy and warmth. We sing songs, many sing along, someone just listens and remembers their youth, especially those moments when they were happy.

It's amazing how expectations diverge from reality. It seemed that nursing homes were neglected buildings with old renovations and indifferent staff. Yes, some houses really look worse than others, but it is always clean there, they keep order there, the workers there become children for the elderly and do everything necessary.

Nursing homes are home to grief. It is common to all. Nursing homes do not end up from a happy life, there is little happiness and smiles. They often remember the past, often cry. Guests are rare there. There are many bedridden patients. It smells of sadness. But at the same time, there is hope. Letters are waiting there. Songs are occasionally sung there. There people find friends and love. Harmony reigns there, maintained by the staff. They feed well there and look after the elderly.

Finding yourself in a nursing home is scary. But being there, to find real support from volunteers is happiness.

We do not know where the path of each of us will end. But if we do good now, it will definitely come back to us. And it doesn't matter anymore, in your home or in a nursing home. "

In contact with

Liza Oleskina, director of the Old Age in Joy Foundation. Photo from the archive of the "Old Age to Joy" Foundation

— I told a wonderful company the other day what we do. All employees listened, some even shed tears, some laughed. And when the time for questions came, they asked from the far end of the hall, a little embarrassed, but very sincere:

- Why are you helping them at all? They themselves chose such a fate and got what they deserved! Are there decent grandparents there? After all, there are drunks, homeless people, parasites, and the women there probably abandoned their children themselves - will they hand over a good mother there?

… After that, I realized that what is axiom for us is not always the same for others, even for those who would like to help, but it’s painfully unpleasant to help them - drunks, drones and magpies.

I was not at all offended, but simply surprised.
And I decided, just in case, to ask you - so that you enlighten your friends, suddenly they think so too.

Who are the grandparents from nursing homes? And why do they live there?

There are many options for getting into a boarding house.
Firstly, these are grandmothers who have lived their whole lives like this, alone, often never married, who worked on construction sites, on collective farms, in lumbering - in such hard work that there was no longer any question of children. By old age, such grandmothers become unbearable to live alone, and social protection offers them a place in a nursing home. Usually this is the most grateful category - they thank everyone all the time and for everything - for the light, for the warmth, for the food, for coming in, for being “fed for nothing” here.

Secondly, these are lonely old people who have outlived their children. Alas, a lot of grandmothers, who are now under ninety, who went through the war, were starving - and turned out to be stronger and stronger than their sons, many of whom drank themselves and died very young. I don't think they all raised them badly. Many, probably, pampered too much and took care of too much - and in old age they were alone. I remember how in Mordovia, it seems, in a nursing home, nurses proudly showed us to the grandmother-stakhanovka, who raised seven sons alone after the death of her husband ... who now live in neighboring villages and rarely remember that their mother is still alive. Why this is so - I cannot and do not even try to understand.

Yes, of course, there are many grandmothers and grandfathers who turned out to be orphans with living children, but there are also a lot of different stories, and in no way they do not fit into the biography of a “drunkard” or a woman of a riotous life. Often children leave for big cities, and old parents don't want to move for anything in the world and live where they were born.

And, of course, there are many stories, when a mother fell ill, and her daughter is raising three children alone, then immediately before this daughter the choice is - a mother to a nursing home or children to an orphanage, because she has no money for a nurse, she cannot stop working , and mom needs at least some kind of "overlooked" in the afternoon ...

Our grandparents in nursing homes are as different as you and I are - there are funny ones, there are sad ones, there are kind ones, there are embittered ones. Among them there are a lot, perhaps even most of all, teachers with many years of experience, collective farmers, milkmaids, quiet workers who have worked all their lives and are now infinitely grateful for the smallest thing - which is also not always possible to achieve in boarding schools.

They are very different, but all of them are united by one thing - a common feeling of uselessness, alienation, abandonment - which you and I can destroy. They need help. Honestly, they deserve hundreds of times more - and they do not ask for anything from us.

They are different, but they all have amazingly kind, bright faces - often these are the faces of very happy, no matter what happy people.

It is our happiness that we have such old people - and a great joy to be near them ...

This is not a nursing home, but ordinary social housing for poor pensioners. Apartments here are not for sale, but are rented out. And everyone pays differently.

While traveling in the United States, I visited such a house. I show you how it works.

1 Usually social housing is not located in good neighborhoods, but a retirement home is a good exception. This is not him, of course, but an expensive golf club opposite.

2 When I arrived, repairs were in full swing in the yard. In the house itself, too. renters have to move into temporary apartments while their walls are being painted and plumbing changed. Residents are indignant, complaining that old people are being poisoned with paint, but I believe that everything will be fine.

3 Parking for residents. There are strict rules here: if you come to visit, get a pass with the apartment number and the name of the owner. Otherwise, the car will be quickly taken away in a tow truck, and you will have to pay a fine.

4 The whole house is owned by one company. They rent out apartments, maintain the house, carry out repairs, etc.

5 Smoking in the building and on the territory is strictly prohibited. This is being watched. But there is a dedicated smoking area in the yard.

6 This courtyard was built by the residents themselves. As I was told, all this is the work of emigrants from Russia.

7 The neighbors already have a playground. Children cannot live in a home for the elderly.

It is possible to bring 8 grandchildren here for a couple of days to visit, but they have no right to live permanently.

9 Grandmothers all over the world are alike. Russian, American and Chinese retirees grow mini-vegetable gardens near their homes.

10 A wild hare was found in the bushes. He lives quietly, he is almost not afraid of people.

11 The house is built on the principle of a condominium, where apart from apartments there are also public spaces.

12 Mailboxes, lounge with soft chairs. There is a public toilet so as not to run into the apartment.

13 Long corridors are somewhat remotely like a hospital, but in the United States, apartment buildings are almost always designed this way. But the wooden railings along the walls - yes, to help the elderly.

14 All doors are wooden and exactly the same. The tenant cannot change something. But no one will forbid to decorate the door to your taste. A Jew can hang a mezuzah guarding his home. The Chinese will place a bell next to the entrance.

The house is serviced by a management company. If you need to fix the air conditioner or unclog a blockage in the bathroom, the tenant calls in an assistant. He comes at a convenient time for him, even if no one is at home. But he is obliged to report his visit after the fact. Although not everyone likes this order.

The garbage chute is also at the entrance. A rarity for America. It does not smell, which is even more rare.

15 Jeanne has been living in this house for several years. Although she is retired, she works and teaches the Ukrainian language.

16 Her apartment is typical, everyone has about the same housing. Two rooms, of which one bedroom and one living room. In the United States, it is considered "odnushka", since there is always a living room only if the apartment is not a studio. And so, they count in the bedrooms.

17 The monthly rent for an apartment in this house is about $ 1,000. It's not that expensive for this city, but in general the amount is rather big, especially for a pensioner.

Therefore, the city authorities pay extra for accommodation. According to the law, the tenant pays only a third of his salary, and if it is small, then the amount is raised.

19 Another $ 100 a month has to be paid for food, the elderly are given food packages. You can't refuse this: you need to take it, but you can not eat if you don't like it.

20 There is a gym, unfortunately, without a pool.

21 There are many activities. All ads are translated into two languages, Russian and Chinese.

22 Old people can even take classes. Drawing, handicrafts, music.

23 Age is not a reason to stop taking care of yourself.

24 Musical corner.

25 There is a cafeteria in the house, you can buy a ready-made lunch or snack.

26 The cleanliness is monitored.

27 There is even a beauty salon where you can run a marafet before a date. Do you have any doubts that they have romances here too ?!

28 On the sixth floor, a meeting room.

29 There is also a laundry room. Washing machines are not allowed in apartments, but some do.

30 Laundry - for money.

31 Although the parking lot near the house is packed with tenants' cars, not everyone has cars. Horseless residents are taken to shops and malls by minibus.

32 Here in this minibus.

Many states and cities have such “nursing homes”, and Americans themselves are not surprised by them. But it happens that people retire and move to warm states, where they buy private houses in the village for those over 55. And there is a completely different life. I have already written about one such "city of old people" in Arizona, and I will write about another one more.

How do you like home? Would you like your grandparents to live like this?

Employee of the charitable foundation "Old Age in Joy", journalist "Miloserdie.ru"

Why grandparents don't live with family

In our experience, “children give up their parents” is a rare option. I personally have seen few situations when a grandmother lived with the family of her daughter or son, nursed her grandchildren, and then she was "handed over". Usually family ties break up much earlier than the grandmother gets into the nursing home. For example, her children left their native village for a larger city, and her grandmother did not want to leave her home, even if her name was. As long as she was managing herself, this was not a problem. When she began to barely walk, she could not bring a pack of pasta from the store and wash her linen - all the more, she did not want (and indeed could not) move far.

The Soviet system of distribution and conscription has played a role: children can live on the other side of the country. If a grandmother is 80, and her daughter is 60, there is a possibility that grandchildren, who are under 40, saw her in life a couple of times 20-30 years ago. Her children themselves are not very energetic and healthy, and for her grandchildren she is a stranger. So she goes to a nursing home in her native region - most often in the district or regional center, because there are large houses, 600 people, and small ones - closer to her native village - were closed in the process of optimization. Although in a house for 30 people with a family atmosphere she would be much better than in a boarding school for 600. But in general, a nursing home for her is not punishment and prison, but physical salvation: bed linen is changed, food is brought 4 times a day, let not the one that my grandmother loved. Further, it depends on the personality structure: someone will live there for another 15 years, someone will die in two months.

There are much less socialized families. Here everyone can live close, but the children drink, and they often drink the pension of their grandparents - grandfathers, however, rarely live to old age, so we are talking mainly about grandmothers. If a son or grandson is drunk, he can hit his grandmother, she eats badly: the money is drunk and there is no one to cook in the family. In this case, the nursing home is again a physical salvation.

At the same time, grandmothers most often do not condemn their relatives, they are very happy with their calls and visits, even if relatives come once a month to pick up the rest of their pension (75% of the pension is transferred to the boarding school's account, 25% remains for the elderly). They are glad they can be helpful. If we give soft toys to grandmothers, they are happy because they will be able to present this toy to their great-grandson, if he is brought to visit.

There are, of course, grandmothers for whom a nursing home is a prison, they perceive their children as traitors. Here and a very good nursing home, with attentive staff and a good material base, can be perceived as a ruin in life, especially if the grandmother is intelligent (for example, a school teacher or an accountant). And a perfect shack can be perceived as a normal house (if the grandmother, for example, was a milkmaid or a beet-grower and did not see much comfort in her life). And there are also classic stories, when the grandmother's apartment or house was sold, their conditions were improved, the grandmother was first taken in, and then they showed her in every possible way that she was superfluous, and she herself asked to go to a boarding school or was taken straight there. But these stories are dozens of times less than from the series "it happened", "all relatives died", "the son drank and beat" or "the daughter herself is disabled and lives in a neighboring boarding school."

Who decides where seniors spend their final years

In a classic Moscow boarding school (for example, this one) there are 500 beds, of which 275 are for bedridden and 75 for the blind. Nursing homes in Moscow are run by the Department of Social Security. But grandparents can go to psychoneurological boarding schools (PNI) and even psychiatric hospitals for years. Many graduates of orphanages, especially correctional ones, or graduates with disabilities at the age of 18 end up in a nursing home if the disability is physical. If mental - then in PNI. And they remain there until their death.

In addition, there is the 216th order of the Ministry of Health on medical contraindications, in the presence of which a person may not be allowed into a nursing home and PNI. Therefore, if a person has tuberculosis or epilepsy with frequent seizures, then he should live in the system of the Ministry of Health. Hospices also sometimes open up even in rather remote villages: this is what a real hospice with a license for narcotic painkillers can be called, but then they will usually only be admitted there with oncology, and there will be no neurological and other patients.

How life works in nursing homes

The situation is critically dependent on the staff. If the director cares for grandparents, he will motivate the entire staff, invite sponsors, invite volunteers, and give money for gas so that the residents of the orphanage will go on an excursion somewhere on a government bus and allocate a room for the house church.

There are a lot of houses where the staff, led by the director, are badly burned out. Their salaries are low: nannies have 5-8 thousand rubles each, and they can have up to 50 bedridden old people for two per shift - and at night she can be alone on her floor. They don't need anything except to provide biological life. That is, somewhere a lying grandmother will be spoon-fed, shake her in every possible way - and she will get up after a hip fracture, walk even with a walker and keep her mind. Somewhere they will say “she fell ill” and leave her like that, and when she retires into herself, they will say: “She is sick, do not approach her again,” and she will die very soon.

There are no cases of a criminal desire to quickly transport grandmothers to the next world in state nursing homes. In extreme cases, per capita financing insures against this (if you kill everyone, you stay on the beans) and prosecutorial and other checks. But cases of complete indifference - "they don't need anything, they are not themselves" - are full, while grandmothers really need communication, comfort, and personal attention.

Fortunately, this burnout is treatable in many cases. Easier in small houses, where the troubles were from poverty. On our account, there are several cases of turning the smelly barracks into a completely cozy place simply because the nurses were given decent amounts of normal detergents instead of bleach, diapers for bedridden, extra bed linen, gloves. And they perked up, because before that they were sure that neither they nor their grandmothers were needed by anyone.

It is more difficult in large houses - there you need a lot of diapers and detergents, and while you have a heart-to-heart talk with each of the staff (do not teach something, but just talk like a human being, maybe she has three children at home that are undernourished with her) salary), a lot of time passes.

Yes, in some places someone steals. We have seen exemplary homes where everything is perfect, precisely at the expense of the budget. We did not catch anyone by the hand - we have a different specialization, we are not the Investigative Committee, we just compare what happens with a happy director, and what in other cases. However, funding from region to region is different, and the building may be 1905, and may be built in 1985.

Big houses can be nice. With attention to the recumbent, with labor and creative workshops, with walks. And there are bad ones - both large boarding schools and small ones, where they ask their grandmother for money for help in washing, money for going outside to breathe, where feet stick to the floor, etc.

Why private nursing homes are better than public ones

Public nursing homes are not free, as many think - they take 75% of the pension. I know nursing wards where 95% is taken. There are social beds in state nursing wards and boarding schools, where they take extra payments from relatives (for example, for some reason, the grandmother does not have the right to a place only for deducting from her pension). In the Moscow region last year, the supplement was 22-25 thousand rubles per bed per month, that is, 75% of the pension plus these 22-25 thousand rubles. And these are quite ordinary wards, four people in a room and no preferences. It is relatively good there, our volunteers even pay for such wards for one grandmother, whom the state offers only to others, even worse.

All kinds of boarding houses such as "Dobrota", "Care", Senior Group (physically they are located in the Moscow region, but are considered Moscow ones), a boarding house for the elderly - all these are private chains. Senior Group helps us in any way they can: they conducted brief trainings for the staff of state houses from the regions, took our lying blind grandfather to his place and put him on his feet when he was about to die, etc. But the price of living in such a boarding house goes off scale for 100 thousand per month, as far as I know. We are not personally acquainted with the rest of the private networks. But if the price of living is about 30 thousand rubles a month, then this is guaranteed not the best conditions, and the staff, most likely, is not something without education - even without medical books. The news made a splash of a shelter in the Vladimir region, where they found dead and half-dead old people - where living cost 22 thousand a month.

A good private house (at the "Senior Group", for example) corresponds, say, to an Israeli one. That is, there are no recumbent as a class: even if a person is in a vegetative state, they wash him in the morning, put him in a stroller, take him to the dining room for breakfast (even if he has mashed food from a spoon, but not in bed through a sippy cup), then they take him to all sorts of morning news screenings and discussion, then for a walk.

There is round-the-clock supervision for those who are not in memory, classes of all kinds of art therapy and music, a psychologist, visits to dentists, cardiologists, and so on. In such places, the recumbent get up, relatives are invited to all holidays. In bad private nursing homes, everything is either the same as in bad public ones, or - in criminal cases - it can turn out to be much worse.

What it's like to live in a Russian nursing home

Guests of the Pervomaisky house in the Tula region tell their stories

Grandmother Evdokia

Photo: Maria Borodina

We walk here and there, go downstairs three times a day, to the dining room - training. Someone is sick, someone else can walk. We also have Masha, Lida, Zoya on the floor. Zoya is now in the hospital. We came from Belev. Home, of course, is better, but there is no one at home with.

The houses have wood heating, no hot water, no gas, but the bath and toilet are separate. We have been living in the Tula region for 20 years, and our entire village has no gas, only firewood was heated. Recently, I have not even worked in the garden, I had no strength.

My birthday this month is October 28, and a month ago my great-grandson was born. Weight 4500 - bogatyr, caesarean was done. Called Ilya. Now I'll show you my daughter, she was beautiful with me. She died at age 52. After her death, I run around these houses. I often look at the photographs - and so we will winter. Volunteers came from Tula, there was a concert in the dining room, homemade cakes, it was so great. We also have our own accordion player - he plays on Tuesday and Friday at three o'clock, some of them sing. Today my granddaughter came to me by correspondence, we saw each other for the first time, we have been texting since March 29. At first, from the doorway, I thought that this was my youngest daughter. They have two cars, they could have arrived, but they do not.

We have a lot of people who correspond. A girl, a granddaughter by correspondence, also visits Bogomolova. She gave her a dressing gown, a sleeveless jacket, she often visits her. Filippova most of all write, send photographs, gifts. True, she is now going to Tula to operate on her eyes, I am worried about her.

Grandma Zina

Photo: Maria Borodina

I have already had my third stroke, I am learning to walk again. I've been here for three months. But I almost learned to walk. I was born in Plavsk, I am from Plavsk. I have no one, only my niece, she comes to me. For lonely people like me, it's good here.

It's my dream to return to the main building for the New Year. You just need to heal. There is a big difference between a recumbent body and a non-recumbent body. We walk through the territory there. And here it is not very interesting, there is little communication. I have a fiance there. Now I’ll learn to get up from the pot, my leg adapts, and I’ll return to it.

His name is Alexander, he comes to see me every day, we have been in touch for two years now, so everything is fine. I like it so much! Do you know what a good character is? Not rude at all. True, he is paralyzed, but he comes to see me every day. He always greets and says goodbye to all my neighbors. He is kind. And on appearance it seems like nothing.

When I had only two strokes, we walked, went to concerts together. We were even offered to live together, they wanted to give us a separate room. But I'm not ready for that yet. Maybe by the First of May, in the spring. I now need to finish treatment, and not think about family life. And besides, what kind of wife am I? He came to me once, took off his socks and put them on the table. He wanted me to wash. I ask, why put on the table? I would say: wash. I washed, of course, and he put them on the table again, clean, but on the table. I told him: "Sash, why are socks on the table?" But so he is very good and kind.

My niece is a miracle, she comes to me, communicates with me. Her son and daughter are adults, very decent, like her mother herself, they are doctors. I have to be constantly looked after, but they cannot.

I always said that I would not survive the third stroke, but it turned out - wait for the fourth. They tell me that I am young, but I am 66 in total. True, Alexander is still not very happy with me: I go here in a dressing gown, not always combed. I told him, you wait for the New Year, I'll dress up, put myself in order. And recently she asked: "You are not going to leave me?" He said not yet. And he came recently, said that he would definitely not quit. Thank you God. Well, on the other hand, who will he find better than me? And we have, you know, what kind of women, because a woman even at 90 years old needs a man. I told him that no one needs him but me. But then I regretted, he's good.

Grandpa Kolya

Photo: Maria Borodina

I am from Tula. My son in Moscow died of a stroke, almost immediately after that my grandson died. As soon as my grandson died, I had a heart attack - my legs gave way, so I ended up here. I have a dedicated exercise machine. I really want to walk, I want to get up and go to see my house in Tula, how it looks now. I have been working on a collective farm since the age of 13. Life is already coming to an end, and only recently began to live. But I still have a goal - I want to get up myself, without help.

Paradise grandmother

Photo: Maria Borodina

I am the woman of Raya. In my youth, I had an accident, I was diagnosed, I could not give birth to children. I do not have anyone.

Grandpa Vitya

Photo: Maria Borodina

It's my birthday on Wednesday - well, I'm still young, I'm only seventeen minutes old. My family will come to me, my grandson is 30 years old, he will bring everyone, they will amuse us, the whole ward. He is my captain, his name is Denis.

I was a senior apparatchik at a chemical plant, worked for 28 years, up to 75 years. I have a pension of 25,000, is it okay? Of course it does. Some get 10-13 thousand. I served in Sevastopol, in the navy for four and a half years, and the volunteers remembered and brought back Crimean photographs and postcards - very nice and beautiful. I look and cry, but these are tears of joy, tears of memories.

In general, I realized: the main thing is the family, when there are children, nothing is scary. NSI am constantly scrolling in my head the memories of my youth and childhood. I myself did not finish my studies, my parents were old, I had to look after, help. The fate is, well, nothing. Each person has his own destiny. The daughter is a high school teacher, she teaches French, now she has become a head teacher in a gymnasium. Grandson Denis loves me very much. The granddaughter lives in America - Masha, a beauty. When she was a 4th year student in Moscow, she went to America for an internship, she liked it, found a man for herself, fell in love with him, got married and stayed there. Her husband's parents are Russian, and he himself was born in America. Masha has been living there for the second year, but she speaks so well. He told his parents that this was his wife and he would never let her go anywhere. This is how it should be. We love her very much. She hasn't come to me yet, but she promises.

Grandpa Gennady

Photo: Maria Borodina

I was born in the village of Shamai, Pizhansky district, this is the Kirov region, I worked there as a signalman. Here I was only the first night, my son-in-law brought here, and I left for Moscow. Don't kiss me, I'm unshaven. You can take a picture. My surname is beautiful - Khristolyubov.

Grandpa Valera

Photo: Maria Borodina

I was born in Belarus. Close relatives have died or died. She worked on a collective farm, then she was transferred to a state farm, and they began to pay money. But not enough. The pension is minimal at all. Then I came to Tula, we have a three-room apartment here, 9 people live in it - relatives, children of my sister. They bought me a folding bed while my niece and her husband slept on the floor. It was very uncomfortable for me that they were sleeping on the floor, I asked to be brought here so that they had a place to sleep. They didn’t want to let me go, but I asked for it myself. It's hard with me. Volunteers come to me, they are like granddaughters and grandchildren to me. They bring gifts, photographs. In general, I have a great-granddaughter - Mashenka. I've been here for the third year. I pray every day. This is my life.

Grandma Masha

Photo: Maria Borodina

I am Maria Mikhailovna, but it is better to Baba Masha, born in 1930 on January 14, I am a peasant. Tula region, Kireevsky district. Although I am deaf, I sing well, I love to sing - and I loved to shout.

I worked in a mine as a coal handle, at a construction site I worked as a bricklayer. My uncle was fine with me, they didn't let us out of the collective farm just like that. And then I got sick - I have glaucoma. I can't lift heavy things, and I retired at 50. I wanted to work, but my mother had a heart attack. Mom died, I screamed at Mom. My brother lived with me, he was afraid that I would go crazy. I buried him and was left all alone. I was hit by a car, I had a fracture in three places, I was in the regional hospital for six months. Then they transferred here.

Soon it will be five years since I have been here. A week later, my cousin Galya comes to visit me. She washes me everything, brings me presents, looks after me too, she is 68 years old, she worked as a teacher. But I’m already used to it. I get up, straighten my bed and do exercises for more than 30 minutes. The girls who work here help us. They support us. Many of us have children, but they do not come, I am amazed at the nature of people.

I was married, lived for five months in a marriage. The husband drank, God knows what he was doing. I don’t want to look at men at all. Make no mistake. I don’t believe that one cannot live without them, but it’s also impossible to get confused with one or the other. And if you do get married, respect your husband. Only it would be nice not to live with his mother, you will be nicer.

Whoever wishes me harm, I still do not wish to live alone. What if we stayed at home? Well, what do we do there one at a time? Our beds are always clean here, breakfast is good, lunch. Warmly. Health is very important. And we sang well with you today. Still, there are good people in Russia, thank you, don't scold me for wheezing when I sang.

Grandma Galya

It's scary to say how old I am: 82 years old. I was born in the village of Butyrka. I worked in a sanitary and epidemiological station, and then at the age of 45 I was given a disability group: the diagnosis was polyarthritis. It is incurable. I had an operation twenty years ago, they said that I would not live more than three months, but I still live. My husband cried, cried, buried me, but I stayed.We did not have children, I could not give birth, the diagnosis is such. But we lived well, together, in love. And he kept telling me these three months how I would live without Galka, how I would be without my Galka. And then I buried him. Such a life, dear ones.

Photo: Maria Borodina

Baba Valya I. I have always loved and love our youth. She worked in kindergarten at first, got a job there as a nanny, and was hired as a cook. I cooked food for children, you know how delicious it was, cooked better than anyone else. In prison, she worked on the phone, next to the cameras. I was a controller, I looked through the peephole so that there were no fights, conflicts. And if there is a fight, the phone is near, you call - they will come to understand. The doors were locked with two locks, but I have the keys, I don't open them - it's not allowed. A pistol in her youth could assemble and disassemble, but a rifle could not. Then he was fired. Valentina Vasilievna, senior sergeant. It is written like this, but what's the use?

And I went to work as a cleaner. They paid little. In the hospital again as a cook, lived in Skuratovo, went by six o'clock in the morning, served breakfast to everyone. I knew how to do everything. Indeed, in life as it is, if you know how, you will live everywhere.

I've only been here for the third year. I have two daughters - 69 years old and 72 years old, they sold the apartment, and I was left with nothing. I am from Tula in general, I lived next to the Zarya store, on Galkina Street, on the fourth floor. My husband and I have lived together for 40 years, but he left earlier.I haven't seen my eldest daughter Galya for 15 years, the youngest came. Life is generally somersaults. I am ashamed to be photographed, they will ask later where you got this. I'll put on a handkerchief - and hello, I'm your aunt. I'm going to dance, I'm a jack of all trades.

Grandma Anya

Photo: Maria Borodina

I've been here for four years. In her youth, she worked at a military factory, as a mechanic, in a mine - I had to suffer everywhere. And my family life is bad, all parting and parting. So I sing with you, from parting. I have a great-granddaughter - Dasha, small, beautiful. The granddaughter gave birth to an Armenian, he is a good husband. Dasha both dances and sings, they are cheerful people. The granddaughter's husband loves her. What I want to say, live together, never offend grooms, otherwise we girls bite too.

Grandma Tamara

Photo: Maria Borodina

Natasha Lavrova writes letters to me, she is a volunteer from Moscow. She is studying now, she cannot come, she has to study a lot. She is my penpal granddaughter. I was born here not far, in Shchekino, in the Tula region, I worked as a cleaner. In winter I will be 77 years old, February 3rd. Children don't come to me. I call them, they have problems there, they are unlucky with work, something else. I'm a stranger to them. March 13 will be 4 years since I have been here. It's good when there is a mother and a folder in the family. Children should grow up like that.

We have good nurses, they are for us. I understand everything, it's hard with the grannies, one does not hear, the other does not walk, the third does not see. I am Tamara Borisovna Kryuchkova from the 97th room, this is on the second floor. Write me letters.

This material would not have been possible without the Old Age in Joy Foundation, which helps residents 120 nursing homes from the Moscow region to Tatarstan. The foundation raises donations for treatment, pays for additional staff, and sends caregivers. Volunteers bring linen, clothes, strollers, care products. They also organize tea parties with sweets and songs. An important part of the foundation's work is regular regular correspondence with old people. You can also start and maintain communication with people who have no one.