What to do if you can't live without a person. It's bad with him, but it's impossible without him. How to deal with addiction

Now I don't know who I am. I'm just scared, that's why I have such thoughts in my head. I cannot sincerely blame anyone, because any person is what he is, if everyone understood their mistakes, but people became too proud. I myself became a nonentity, I fell in the eyes of my family, although these are only my thoughts, they love me anyone, but the worst thing is that I don't need anyone. I feel sorry for everyone, my compassion is developed not like no one else, then I want to be alone, so that the people who surround me now leave me and just disappear. I don’t know what’s happening to me, but I can tell you anyway, I’ve grown fat and not just fell in love. It’s some kind of impossibly strong, even super-strong love. It's a shame that I fell in love with the same insignificance as I am now. He pulls me down. I do not know whether on purpose, but he does everything to make me agree with my mind. But I love him and cannot live without him. I'm afraid of him, but I'm heading towards my goal, making a bunch of mistakes and stupid things. Sometimes I just hate him for this, I want to show and prove to him how he offends me and how he himself does not live right. But he doesn't seem to hear me. He turned out to be completely different in life, but it's sad that I need him anyway and just went crazy. I do not have enough words in whom I have become. I don't understand who he is to me. But every day I realize how madly, strongly and for the rest of my life I love him. But why exactly him? There are so many guys, men, who love me. And I just dry up for a person who, by and large, does not need him. And my head is spinning from him, I can’t even look at him calmly, I’m starting to shake like a fool, so I love him, with every look at him with thoughts of the present I understand this. And the funny thing is that I saw him only a few times in my life, but I know whom I love, I even imagine everything so much and feel as if I have known him for a long time. What kind of love is this? I also go crazy because I am alone. I have to talk to a few. My relatives are afraid for me, but it seems to me that they do not believe and cannot enter how serious everything is and how you can love so much. But who needs this love. What I just didn’t do, even in him I disgusted myself, invented nasty things to myself so that it would be easier for me to forget him, but I couldn’t. I'm not even ashamed, I just love him and some kind of madness closes my eyes to everything, these are such trifles, compared to what I love. I tried to crap him too, to show who he was in sasm business to him, to teach him how to live, and I did it obsessively in order to cause disgust again, but I couldn't either. I know this is not right and I feel so sorry for him, even though he chick at me. I'm just torn to pieces. I sleep whole days and do nothing. Sleep heals me. But I began to die before our eyes. My family noticed that I stopped eating and lost a lot of weight. I became like a living dead man. Nobody needs me like that. Everybody says beautiful, find a guy. And for me it is hell, when they say so, for me no one exists except him. The main thing is that I didn't do Toko, I even brought my life to the show, but it looks funny from the outside and who needs it. I tried many times to get through to him somehow, because I can’t live benz him, but he’s not the same, maybe I really fell in love with the image, then why am I just dying without him. I am shaking all over, my heart hurts, my hands and body go numb. I don't brag about what love I am. I just want to be heard, I can't live without him. Nobody understands me, but my family has left me, they hang up when I call. Now they are worried about me, but not as much as I would like. They want to fatten, so that my boyfriend will come back to me, but I really don't need it. There is no way to understand, to understand the reason, they don't care. They are just doing their duty because I am the first child.

Painful emotional addiction occurs when the realization of their enormous emotional potential is associated with one person, and all feelings fall on him. And since a person with a visual vector cannot live without love, the question of the reciprocity of feelings is equated to the question to be or not to be. Since love is so important, a person is trying with all his might to get confirmation of his importance for a partner. And the object of dependence turns out to be the target, the only concentration of the whole avalanche of emotion, which would be enough for a hundred people ...

“I am writing you a letter because I don’t know what to do with all this. What should we do with our life? A wedge of white light has converged on you. My whole life is in you. I love you so much that I lose my footing when you touch me. I am bursting with happiness that you are and you are next to me. When we are together, I am in endless euphoria, drunk with emotions that are carried away somewhere in the sky.

At such moments I love so much that dying is not scary. It seems that the moments with you are worth the whole life spent without you. Only next to you I feel the taste of life, forgetting about problems and boredom. I am omnipotent. I can do anything for you. My wings are growing.

Sometimes this condition scares me. I feel like I can't do it without you. If you disappear from my life, I will die. Life will end. When you are not around, I sink into this fear especially deeply. I'm madly afraid of losing you. I'm afraid to even think about it.

When you are not around, the light goes out, the colors fade. I yearn strongly and hopelessly, as if we had already parted forever. I worry every moment, listening to see if you are coming to the door. I can't do anything. Everything falls out of hand. I just sit and wait for you to come.

You come and I'm happy again! But I try to restrain myself so as not to seem overly intrusive, not to kill you with my happiness - there is so much of it that even I myself cannot cope with it. You smile, but you are calm. You don't feel the way I do. Anxiety again squeezes the heart - what if you suddenly stopped loving? Fear spreads over the body in a cold wave. Tears rise to the throat. I can no longer restrain myself - I sob: “You don’t love me! Can't you see how much I love you? Why don't you love me like that? You are everything to me, and I am just an appendix to life for you, which is more important to you than me! And I want you to be mine, only mine and nobody else's! "

You are silent, covering your face with your hands. I know you are tired of my tears. I am also tired. I do not want to lose you. But I can't help myself. I swing on this swing from unearthly happiness to fear and melancholy and do not understand how to stop them. Forgive me!"

Emotional addicts

It also happens that a person experiences such feelings for someone who does not reciprocate. Imagine falling in love with you without asking, and then walking like a shadow next to a mournful expression all the time, suffering and sighing. At first it is a pity, and then it starts to annoy. An obsessive lover is not easy to get rid of. He can also blackmail: "If you push me away, I'll throw myself under the train!"

In general, love addiction poisons life not only for those who have it, but also for those to whom feelings are directed. This is a really big psychological problem that prevents you from enjoying life and enjoying your relationship. But Yuri Burlan's System-Vector Psychology knows how to cope with it.

Such states are experienced by people with, for whom the creation of emotional connections, love is the meaning of their life. It is natural for them to experience strong emotions - to love, to be sad, to rejoice from the bottom of their hearts and to cry bitterly. For them, emotions are bread, endorphins, the source of their joy.

Painful emotional addiction occurs when the realization of their enormous emotional potential is associated with one person, and all feelings fall on him. And since a person with a visual vector cannot live without love, the question of the reciprocity of feelings is equated to the question to be or not to be. Since love is so important, a person is trying with all his might to get confirmation of his importance for a partner. And the object of dependence turns out to be the target, the only concentration of the whole avalanche of emotion, which would be enough for a hundred people. Love addiction is a problem of the absence or lack of realization of the emotional potential given by nature.

In addition, this is a manifestation of a person's concentration on himself, on getting pleasure for himself. After all, when the spectator loves, he experiences great pleasure. And when a person becomes the only source of these feelings for him, he cannot tear himself away from him. But such an addiction resembles a love for ice cream: it's delicious, so you want more and more.

Dependency squared

The presence of properties in the vector set of a person makes love addiction especially difficult. Its owner is a monogamous, loyal, devoted person. He loves stability in relationships and gets used to a partner. Family, paired relationships for him are the meaning of life. It is difficult for him to imagine himself without a loved one nearby, it is difficult to get used to the idea that something will change.

The habit of experiencing strong emotions, even negative ones, next to a loved one makes such a love addiction long in time. It happens that the relationship has ended long ago, but the feeling does not go away. A person with an anal vector has a good memory, and he always warms up this feeling with memories. The imaginative thinking inherent in the owner of the visual vector contributes to the fact that the memories are vivid. They replace reality for him. This is how life goes on in dreams of the past.

There is enough love for everyone

Love is not self-pleasure. When you love, you wish happiness to the one you love, and do not stifle him with your demands for self-love. You still have to grow up to true love. How? Realize the entire huge store of emotions among other people.

The cure for love addiction is to be among people, to empathize with those who need warmth and participation. To become a connecting thread with the world for the elderly. Rejoice at the success of children and cry with them over broken knees. Make love your engine in life. Perform feats in the name of love. This is how it is - a real feeling, not closed on one person. Addiction paralyzes, love makes you go through life and develop.

“I couldn't be alone anymore. I needed somewhere to throw out all the pain that had accumulated in my soul. I left the house. I wandered the streets, peering into the faces of people. I sat down on a park bench and an elderly man sat down next to me. Suddenly he spoke to me and told me that he had lost his wife yesterday. He was lonely and confused. Grief was frozen in his eyes.

I don't know what happened to me. My heart rushed to him, tearing the ribcage, as it always rushed to you. I cried with him. His pain became my pain. These tears brought me relief. He told his story, and I saw that he also felt better. It seems that someone else needs me ... "

Cry, but not for yourself, but for others. There are enough of you for everyone - it's not for nothing that nature created you like that. By increasing the volume of emotional connections, you become even more feeling, even more loving. And your happiness is multiplied, because you are born to feel.

Then your loved one will breathe a sigh of relief, because you will stop choking him with your love. And the one who does not share your feelings, you can easily let go. Now you know that he is not the source of your happiness. You yourself are the source of love.

After love addiction there are survivors ... Moreover, reborn to a new life. These are those who have completed training in systemic vector psychology by Yuri Burlan. Hear what they have to say:

If you want addiction to stop tormenting your heart, so that love brings joy and not pain, then register for free online lectures on systemic vector psychology by Yuri Burlan.