What to talk to the guy's mom about. Acquaintance with the girl's parents: the most important nuances at the first meeting. Why is it important to be liked and how to do it

01.07.2020

Getting to know the parents in a timely manner if:

relationship with a girl lasts a long time;
the relationship has already become serious;
both sides look forward to continuing the relationship.

If one of the two is not sure that the relationship will be durable, it is better not to force acquaintance with the parents.

Preparation

In order for the acquaintance to be held at the highest level, you should prepare for it. There are many nuances to be foreseen, nothing to be forgotten. The first step to successfully meeting your parents is talking with your girlfriend about them. Recommended questions for discussion:

What do parents like?
Their habits and preferences?
How are they feeling about their daughter's relationship?
What are the features, topics, questions that should be avoided in a conversation?

A gift is required

Coming to a girl's parents for the first time empty-handed is a bad idea. In order to defuse the situation and make a positive impression on the doorstep, it is better to choose and purchase a small present in advance.

Basic rules for choosing a gift for a girl's parents:

not too cheap and not very expensive. A cheap gift is unlikely to please, and will characterize the donor from a bad side. A gift that is too expensive may put parents in an awkward situation;
appropriate to the moment. You should not give a gift of a comic nature, ambiguous gifts can be misunderstood;
matching the taste. It is better to discuss the gift issue with the girl in advance. She knows her parents and their taste preferences better.

Gift options for mom can be:

flowers;
candies;
decor items;
beautiful accessory;
favorite perfume;
a beautiful item for the kitchen (an original dish, plate, etc.);
scarf.

When choosing a gift, you should definitely consult with a girl. Suddenly, her mom is allergic to flowers or sweets. It will not be superfluous to find out what perfumes, sweets, accessories she loves.

Gift options for dad:

good alcohol;
cigars;
car accessory;
tie;
new computer game (maybe :)).

The gift is chosen depending on the tastes and the situation.

You can give something relevant to both parents at once. For example, tickets to the cinema, theater, concert. The main thing is to show attention and interest in communication.

Appearance

It is unlikely that parents will like it if the chosen one of their beloved daughter comes in dirty construction uniforms or overly tight understated jeans. Definitely, all people are different, and someone may like the extravagant look, but it's not worth the risk. Clothes on the day of acquaintance should be:

clean, tidy. Nobody likes sloppy people. Parents who want the best for their daughter will not be thrilled with an unkempt young man;
restrained in style. Don't wear a carnival costume, rocker outfit, or incompatible items. Sneakers with a business suit will clearly confuse parents and create tension from the first minutes of communication;
restrained... It is not recommended to wear too bright shirts, T-shirts of extravagant cut. It is better to give preference to classic things: shirts, trousers, T-shirts in neutral colors, jeans without unnecessary details.

In addition to clothing, you should pay close attention to:

perfume. The guy should smell like sweet perfume. Don't overdo it;
hair. They must be clean and neatly combed;
general condition. You should not go to an acquaintance with a cold or after a perky party. Sometimes it is better to postpone this important event and prepare for it better.

The process itself

When all the preparations are made, the gift is purchased, you can go to the girl's parents and get to know them. To begin with, you must definitely come at the appointed time, you should not be late.

First impression

The most important thing when you come to meet the girl's parents is to make a good first impression. If the communication does not work out on the first notes, it will be quite difficult to rectify the situation.

The very first thing to do when visiting a girl's parents:

say hello;
greet mom and dad;
give presents;
note that mom looks great or make some appropriate compliment.

If there are younger brothers and sisters in the family it is imperative to provide for a sign of attention for them: a toy, a chocolate bar, etc.

After all the welcome actions have been completed, the parents will most likely offer to move to the table. Most likely, there will already be some dishes on it. It's a good idea to compliment the hostess for her hospitality.

If the option for meeting the girl's parents is a family tea party - do not refuse the offered cup of coffee or tea.

Rules of etiquette

At dinner or a cup of coffee, it is better to behave as naturally as possible, but taking into account the rules of etiquette:

do not slurp, do not "squish" tea, etc .;
not talking with your mouth full;
courting ladies;
note the taste of dishes or the beauty of the table design;
behave with restraint, do not make flat jokes;
be natural.

Communication rules

It is clear that getting to know the parents implies communication. And it is not always pleasant or expected. How to behave in the process of communication:

respect for parents. You need to contact "you" and find out in advance the name and patronymic of each of the parents from the girl;
good attitude towards the girl. For parents, the most pleasant thing will be if they feel that their daughter is loved and needed;
listen to the end and not interrupt. Nobody likes it when they don't listen to him. It is instantly repulsive. You need to listen carefully to a question or story, and then start talking yourself;
exclude sarcasm, irony and banter. These techniques are completely inappropriate when dealing with a girl's parents. Firstly, these are adults, and you need to show respect to them. Second, irony can be misunderstood. You can and should joke, but carefully;
do not reveal all the cards. You need to answer tricky questions with restraint, to the point and briefly. A lot of unnecessary words seem useless. You should not "turn your soul inside out" at the first meeting, but keeping silent and denying yourself is also not the best option;
be interested. It is not worth showing excessive curiosity, but you can inquire about exciting moments in a conversation;
do not touch on prohibited topics. Perhaps there are topics in this family that are forbidden to discuss. It is better to ask the girl about them in advance and completely exclude them from the conversation;
Be yourself. You don't have to build another person out of yourself. The falsity will immediately be felt and will be mistaken for a lie.

Parent questions

We will have to go through the most crucial moment in communicating with parents and answer their questions. Do not think that they want to find a catch and make their guest look bad. In fact, they just care what kind of person is next to their daughter. 5 most popular questions:

Question 1. On the seriousness of intentions.

This question is inevitable and will have to be answered. If a wedding with a girl is not near, you should not swear to her parents of fidelity and endless love for their daughter.

Everything in life can change, and then it turns out that these were empty words. It is important to designate a respectful, caring, reverent attitude towards a girl. This will be enough if the visit did not consist of a specific goal - to start a conversation about the wedding.

Question 2. About family, children.

The question will surely be raised about the attitude towards family values, love for children. In any case, it is worth answering according to your own feelings. The answer must be correct and gentle.

If there are no children in your immediate plans, you should not frankly declare that children are only under the sign of death. You just need to focus on the fact that everything is ahead, and for now it is too early to think about it, and in the plans for a career / study / army, etc.

Question 3. About plans for the future.

The question of plans for the near and not very future can be answered directly. Everyone has their own plans and dreams, you can voice them. For example, graduating from college / going to university / finding a job / building a career / starting a family, etc.

Question 4. About myself.

What is your hobby? Where do you study? What kind of person are you? What do you like / dislike? etc. There are a lot of options. When answering, you can talk about your hobbies, hobbies, positive character traits. The main thing is not to over-praise yourself and not look like a narcissistic braggart. You can objectively talk about your successes and achievements.

Question 5. About parents.

You can talk about your parents, what they do, who they are, etc. There is no need to delve into family relationships, give out all the nuances.

Stop topics

There are moments that should not be discussed when meeting the girl's parents for the first time, she hates getting to know her parents:

dark stories from the past, negative qualities of a guy's character can scare and alert;
family troubles between parents, conflicts are better not to mention;
religion, politics- slippery topics for discussion. Do not touch them if possible. In a conversation about these topics, it is easy to offend the interlocutor or cause conflict;
girl's flaws. It will be unpleasant for parents to hear and discuss any mistakes of their daughter;
intimate questions, jokes "below the belt". It is not even worth explaining that this is simply unacceptable;
common acquaintances. Do not gossip and discuss mutual acquaintances. This is ugly and inappropriate.

Approach to the girl's mom and dad

Men and women are arranged differently. An individual approach to them must also be sought. To find the key to the location of the father, you can discuss topics that are important to him.

Fishing, hunting, car, sports, news - ask the girl what her dad is especially interested in and get ready. And how to get acquainted with the girl's mother? Mom's location can be obtained by noting her culinary abilities, cozy home environment, beauty, hospitality.

End of dating

After dinner and conversation, you need to catch the moment when it would be more correct to leave. Staying too long or rushing to run away is bad form. If the moment has come, before leaving, you should definitely:

thank you for a wonderful evening, dinner, reception, etc .;
once again note the attitude towards the girl and respect for the parents;
politely say goodbye.

If the acquaintance with the parents took place, then, most likely, the test has been passed, and you can exhale. When meeting your parents, you need to be attentive, polite and accurate. You will have to act according to the situation, think quickly and accurately.

However, no matter what family, what social status, prosperity the girl lives, you need to observe:

smile;
listen attentively;
to be polite;
be yourself.

And then, any acquaintance with the parents will take place at the highest level, and the visit to this family will not be the last.

How to meet a girl's parents on video:

Yes, dude, you'll have to meet her parents someday. Especially if everything is serious and cool with you. The most unpleasant thing about meeting with your parents is that they may not like you, and this may very well mean the end of the relationship. Therefore, you need to prepare well for the meeting.

1. Met by clothes

This advice is unlikely to be seriously groundbreaking, but it deserves a spot on this list. The first impression is always very important at any meeting. Parents, relatives, coming to work, meeting new people - most people stubbornly remember their first opinion about a person. And they stick to it, so no baseball caps, wrinkled T-shirts, shorts and past sloppiness. Dress neatly and not frivolously: shirts, polos, jeans, neutral T-shirts. Be shaved, moms love that. Iron your jeans and other trousers well. But do not dress too well, for example, in a suit: you may not believe it.

2. Rehearse the story of your first meeting

Yes, it is very important. Some of your relatives will definitely ask how you actually met. They ask them not only in order to find out the truth, but to check whether the version told by the girl agrees with the one that you will now tell. Of course, you must understand that the truth in the spirit of "we met in some creepy bar, drunk on the wood, squeezed in a dark corner for a long time, and then had sex in the toilet" is unlikely to please the parents. Therefore, we recommend that you do not forget to ask about the version of your acquaintance that the girl told her parents. It will be frustrating if your versions don't match.

3. Collect information

Going to meet a girl's parents is almost the same as going to an interview with a large (or not so big) company. You don’t go to a company without knowing its working conditions, where the company’s office is and how much will you be paid? You shouldn't just come to meet your parents either. You need to know the marital status of the spouses, whether they are divorced, whether this is a second marriage, whether you will get to know her father or stepfather, what other relatives there will be, whether there is a grandmother / grandfather, what relatives love, what are their names - all this you need exactly know! Who said it would be easy?

4. Make your mom love you

Oddly enough, but in most families, mothers are in charge. We do not mean families where there is no second parent, nor do we mean families where the father is frank. It's just that most often mothers are always a kind of gray cardinals who decide who is right, who is to blame and whether this dude is needed in our family. If you seriously think that your mother cannot influence the opinion of your girlfriend in any way (like my girlfriend is an adult, she herself understands and knows everything), then you are very much mistaken, dude. One simple: “Daughter, did you see his look? He constantly looked at our silverware "or" Daughter, are you sure he's worthy of you? " make your girlfriend think hard. A good relationship with the girl's mom will help protect you from the anger of the girl and the rest of the family. Plus a constant reminder: "What a good guy you have, don't lose it!" Flattery (but not arrogant), good manners, compliments of her appearance and culinary talents, plus help with housework and cleaning the plates will help you win your mom's trust.

5. Make her father your second

It's always harder for fathers to accept you. If you ever have a daughter, you will understand why. In short, dads tend to love daughters more than sons, and the thought of this dude fucking his little angel at night puts dads on guard and turns them a little against you. If mom gets to know you in a neutral or positive mood, then the father will most likely be somewhat negative towards you. Once I visited a friend of mine who was expecting the birth of a child, but did not yet know his gender. When it came to who he wants more, the dude said bluntly: "Son!" "Why?" I asked. "Because I'm going to go crazy with the idea that my girl is going to be fucked by some loser."

In order to have a good relationship with her father, it is worth finding out his interests, place of work, etc., and so on. If your interests are similar, you can happily keep up the conversation. If all goes well, you will spend a few hours talking about hunting, fishing, and hiking. Just don't lie!

6. Prepare some topics for conversation

There is nothing worse than awkward silence in the first minutes of meeting. Therefore, prepare a couple of topics to smooth out the awkward moments. It's always good to ask lots of questions and be interested in family life, but don't go overboard. You also need to be always ready for unexpected questions about your work, family, social status and interests. Common topics of conversation include: your job, sports, family, movies, current events, pets. You just need to find out if people really like to discuss it. There are topics to be avoided: politics, religion, money, etc. Until you understand what kind of sense of humor these people have (and whether they have it at all), you should not joke.

7. Bring a gift

It is ideal, of course, to bring a bottle of wine with you to any occasion, having previously learned the tastes of people. Flower arrangements, beautiful sets of sweets are also a great gift. You can also put a small postcard there.

8. Do not delay and follow the actions

Why do girls introduce boys to their parents? Just for the sake of bro, to show that they see a future in your relationship and want more. It's one hundred percent, dude! This is an axiom! But after meeting with her parents, not only the girl, but also her parents will expect much more active actions from you: cohabitation, engagement, wedding. If the period of acquaintance and meeting with your parents is too long, you should know that you become a gradual burden for them, they sincerely do not understand what the hell you are doing in their house and why you are eating their food.

On your first date with your parents, do more nice little things. Take care of your friend and her mom at the table, move the table, take the plates to the kitchen and help her mom wash them. You also need to let your parents understand that in this girl you are interested not only in breasts and ass, but also in everything else, so keep your eyes away from her neckline, even though it looks amazing in this T-shirt.

Every person on this planet has his own nature, disposition, character. And despite the evolution of relationships between people, lovers are still afraid of the moment of introducing their second half to their relatives. Especially future wives are afraid of this, because the steep gaze of the mother-in-law, father-in-law, brother or sister of the beloved can terrify. Why is it so, and is it possible to calmly, without prejudice to the psyche, survive the acquaintance with the guy's parents and other relatives of the beloved? You can, and we will tell you how to do it.

When the very moment comes

Nobody says that you need to get to know your relatives from the first days of a love relationship. First of all, a woman must make sure that this person is the one with whom she dreams of living her life, having children, sharing both sorrow and joy. And if such confidence has firmly got along in your soul, you can agree to an acquaintance, on which a lot depends. Starting from the very event of a wedding celebration and ending with relationships with children from a joint marriage. When you first communicate with the mother, father and other members of the beloved's family, you also need to prepare yourself, work on your shortcomings. No one has canceled the rule that, having pleased the future father-in-law, a woman remains a big winner.

It is from the position of the spouse's mother, in various kinds, family troubles, that the outcome of events depends. Having accepted our flaws in character, let's move on to exploring the moments that can be expected on that very terrible or beautiful day.

What did he find in you

Remember the saying "A monkey has the most beautiful child!" There is no mother who would not consider her offspring a true handsome man with an amazing figure, intelligence and quick wit. And if her relationship to her son is very selfish, then she will surely find flaws in you and may even ask out loud the question “What did he find in you, when he is so handsome, but you are not!”. Questions that directly indicate physical disabilities, weight, shape of legs, color of teeth look even worse. They will rather be in the form of "friendly" advice - I have an experienced doctor - a good acquaintance dealing with obesity. Go, give you the phone number of the clinic where the best dentists in the city work, etc?

There is nothing to do in such situations. Just prepare in advance for what a real monster may expect you, or there will be several. Of course, this is an out of the ordinary case, but what does not happen in this life. When communicating, treat everything that happens as if all this is not about you and be calm. The dog barks - the wind carries away.

You will start to scandalize, point them to the place and identify their shortcomings - you run the risk of quarreling with your beloved. Isn't it better to do everything to "free" your boyfriend from this hell and give him a better, harmonious life.

You were suspected of commercialism

This moment is far from rare. The fact that the "child" can be robbed to the skin and will drag out a beggar existence because of a mercantile person in the form of a capricious little wife worries most caring mothers. Just think how much strength and health the parents put into raising their son, and how many nights mom spent to lull her child. And when meeting his passion, she will behave rather friendly, kindly. They will appreciate your sense of humor, good taste, chat about your musical preferences and walk you to the door with a smile. But on this all her and the efforts of the others will be over.

As soon as your beloved returns after a long and gentle farewell to your home, they will immediately declare - "She is not a couple for you!" And on the shelves they will lay out the reasons for the displeasure of your special one: she dresses too expensively and you will have to "plow" on her hobby for fashionable clothes. Let in fact it was all differently.

Due to his love and simplicity, the future groom will certainly blabber about the opinion of his parents, which will not please your hopes for mutual respect with his relatives. You visited the relatives of a guy in an ordinary dress, and his parents, opposite, sat in expensive chairs and emitted a torch of wealth. The trouble is that they do not agree at all with the idea that their child will take care of someone and work for his beloved. Well, not for this they brought the boy into the world!

Your actions: under no circumstances speak badly about the parents of your beloved. Even if you periodically encounter the groom's mom in expensive jeans or with a huge diamond on your finger. Remember - mom is sacred!

Your dossier has been opened

On the one hand, technological advances allow us to reach the top, make a lot of acquaintances, comfortably equip our lives, etc. But on the other hand, out of our own carelessness, or maybe out of a desire to please everyone, to collect more clips, we post a lot of information on our pages. Among her, we risk exposing ourselves in an unattractive light. And modern mothers with experience in networking, can easily view all your "views" on your own page and draw their own conclusions. And this, frankly, is worthy compromising evidence, with which it is difficult to establish relations. And you need to get acquainted, right?

What to do - get ready and go to the "embrasure" to the end, agree to a meeting and, by the way, explain that everything in the network is a whim. In fact, you are a completely different person. But most likely, an intelligent woman will not say anything. The main thing is to make a good impression in person.

You broke family harmony

If you are dating a guy who was raised by your mom alone, get ready for the various consequences of dating. Everything that he has, including good health, excellent taste, excellent profession and other successes, is her merit. And believe me, there is no edge of sarcasm in our words. But experiencing alone the illness of her beloved child, empathizing with his failures in all spheres of life, from teenage hobbies to passing exams, she seemed to have grown together with her child. And now mommy is sure that she and her child are one whole. But quite often in such families there is a side effect - the mother's unwillingness to let strangers into a harmonious relationship with her son. For her, the daughter-in-law is the third extra, who has no place next to her son.

What to do when you meet - be yourself. And, of course, to be imbued with understanding for the fate of the woman who raised the person you love. But at the same time, do not let her put pressure on her authority. Behave with restraint, wisely and make it clear with your behavior a guarantee for a happy future for her son.

Dissatisfaction with other family members

Quite often, the enemy of a man's love relationship can be his sisters, your future sisters-in-law. If they are older, then for them he continues to be a small child. For the youngest, he continues to be a support and a person who was her defender, a model when choosing her boyfriends.

Now, as it turned out, he devotes time to some stranger, who is not suitable for him. Perhaps, at the dating table, they will behave calmly, and even smiling. But as soon as you say goodbye and cross the threshold of their house, "grinding your own bones" will immediately begin. She has no sense of humor, she is too cold, she has a haughty look, she does not like my brother, etc. And it doesn't matter that in communication you were a model of wit, warmth and friendliness. You are a rival who wants to take away your beloved brother from the family, period!

If insults are sounded from the lips of an ill-mannered relative, do not argue categorically. This will leave you in a losing position. Typically, the groom's mother or father will come out of the shadows and silence you. The beloved will also be under attack, because of the risk of losing relations with relatives, albeit not immediately, but he will have to side with his loved ones.

How to behave to you: of course, your beloved will convey the opinion of the family about your personality. Do not immediately plunge into the argument that his sister is ugly, stupid, without taste and good manners. There are more than enough reasons for dislike, but you need to pull yourself together and not take part in offensive polemics. Thus, you will grow up in the eyes of your loved one, no less worthy will be the assessment of his mother, father (if they are smart and understanding people).

You are made extreme

Strife among family members does not differ in its course from large-scale wars, of course, we mean the psychological component. And if every now and then your lover swears with his sister, then for the most damage to the nerves, she will begin to speak badly about you. So it will be more painful and there is an opportunity to quickly unbalance the man. And love is the most painful topic against which he rears.

What can you do - do not get involved in a war and ask him not to spoil the relationship. Over time, everything will pass, and quarrels between relatives happen and end in a truce.

You run the risk of remaining extreme and with your "interests". The most you can do is try to talk to your sister separately. Friendship may not emerge, but bridges can be built at least for normal relationships without enmity.

Meet or not

There are many reasons why you can refuse to meet the parents of a loved one. But the number of points for which it is necessary is many times greater than them. It is necessary to meet and communicate, it is not necessary at the same time to create the appearance of an ideal relationship. Mom, dad and other family members of a loved one should know about your existence and prepare for the fact that he will go further through life with you. And if the guy offered a joint visit to his father's house - rejoice. Much worse - when a loved one does not even hint about it, which speaks of the frivolity of his attitude towards you. But it is worth getting to know each other in stages.

Acquaintance at the candy-bouquet stage is important, if you delay it, they will decide that you have reasons for refusing to communicate. Maybe you have problems with your appearance, you are from a dysfunctional family, suddenly you are married, etc.
Love this person and want to live a happy life with him, give birth to children, meet old age together - appreciate him and his family. In no case refuse to meet, and feel free to visit. But before you pay a visit, ask how important you are to your loved one, what are his plans for you.
In most cases, when a man invites a girl to his house, this is a definite and symbolic sign. We can say that he is making a proposal of heart and hand. A normal guy will never invite a person who is not interested in him to the house where he was born and raised. He will not introduce to mother, father, grandmother, grandfather and other members a girl who does not really matter to him.

The listed three points can be the basis for visiting and meeting the guy's parents. But it is important to understand that for a man this is a very important step and a lady should take this moment quite seriously. You should not agree to go if:

this man does not appear in your plans for the future;
you yourself are not yet ready to start a family or a long-term serious relationship;
you need this man only as a sexual partner, but no more;
it was you who initiated the acquaintance, but the man did not agree to this step for a long time. Everything should be voluntary and your lover is obliged to mature himself before introducing your person into his family.

How to properly prepare for your visit

The completion of the event and the attitude of potential relatives depend on how you prepare to meet your mother, father and other family members of your loved one. Step by step, following the points below, work through each moment of the visit.

Move aside all fears. Stop being afraid, because you will communicate with people, not dinosaurs. Otherwise, you will bring yourself to a state of hysteria, which will have a very negative effect on communication - you will be twitchy, tongue-tied.
Positive attitude. New acquaintances and relationships are more good than bad. Believe me, cases when the future wife of a son is met by bad people are very rare. As a rule, on the other side of the "front" they are as nervous as you, and maybe even more. Get ready for a pleasant time, meeting with excellent, kind people. If life goes on harmoniously, then you will have to meet very often and God forbid, only on pleasant events.
Do not believe the stereotypes according to which it is necessarily the enemy. Modern mothers understand their daughters-in-law much better than they did in the old days. They are more active, try to keep up with the times, take care of themselves. Who knows, maybe you will become avid girlfriends and together you will follow not only the growth of the kids, but also fashion trends.
The main participant in the celebration is mom. Life is so arranged that a woman is involved in raising and caring for a child. And your main task is to get affection for yourself precisely from the mother of a loved one. But this does not mean that you need to ignore his father, just in order of priority, the future mother-in-law is in the first place. Prepare for the fact that it is very exciting for parents to meet a new person to whom their beloved child leaves, especially if he is alone in the family, be more understanding about this. The moment is not far off when such a situation may arise for you.
Examine the parenting dossier. As the saying goes: "Forewarned is forearmed!" Find out what the habits of the beloved's relatives are, what they are fond of, what way of life they lead, whether there is and what kind of education, etc. It will be especially pleasant for future relatives if you try to study their pedigree (of course, if it is known). It is important to find out what topics in this family are taboo, and what should not be talked about in their presence.
Your appearance. Someone will point out that the saying about a meeting by dress is outdated for a long time, now, they say, is not the time. But this is absolutely not the case. So you might think if you go to a nightclub or a party among young people. Our parents have already crossed the line, beyond which were defiant clothes and behavior, vulgar makeup and other elements of fashionable youth. The first thing that parents will pay attention to is your appearance. The outfit should be:

laconic - without bright and aggressive colors, vulgarity;
neat - clothes should be clean, ironed, without stains;
as for eau de toilette, you do not need to stifle so that people will have an attack of suffocation. The perfume should be light, refreshing and unobtrusive;
shoes - with a small heel, pastel shade, no chains, gold, leopard inserts;
be it a dress, blouse or tunic - no deep cuts and cuts. If there are tattoos and piercings - remove them immediately and it is desirable that you continue to abandon such attributes;
type of clothes, if you were invited to a restaurant - dress appropriately - a neat elegant dress, suit, trousers, blouse;
outdoor recreation, in the country with relatives should take place in unpretentious and intended clothes - a tracksuit, light jeans, sneakers, etc.

What to bring with you for acquaintance

Coming to a new home empty-handed is bad form. And at the same time, it is necessary to pick up the little thing that will pleasantly delight future relatives. To get to the "point", study the following points.

Do not give expensive gifts categorically, do not load up every member of the family. On the one hand, this can cause confusion and irritation, since they will decide that this is bribery or a hint of their unfavorable situation. On the other hand, you can spoil cunning relatives and you will have to make presents quite often.
Whether there are small children in the house or not, a box of chocolates will never be superfluous. But in no case do not create "masterpieces" with your own hands. This is possible only with an incredible confectionery talent. The reason is that you do not yet know the taste preferences of the guy's family members, and you are also not familiar with the state of health. Suddenly, one of them is allergic to your nuts, cocoa, prunes. And the store box always reflects the composition.

Meeting - how to behave further

Well, wait? Here you are on the threshold of your beloved's father's house, sweets have been handed over, you have been introduced. What's next? Psychologists point to the golden rule of three "Not", which includes: do not turn up your nose, do not interrupt or flaunt your psychos. Nobody argues that people without flaws simply do not exist, but at such moments you need to hide all your "cockroaches" in the far corner. Then follow the guidelines also provided by experienced psychologists:

Behave modestly and do not openly take successes, changes in the obstinate disposition of a loved one at your own expense.
Ask your parents about their son, and try not to draw the family's attention to yourself.
Do not try to kiss and hug passionately in front of family members - it looks defiant and shows your immodesty, looseness.
Be caring, but be careful when caring for your boyfriend, otherwise you will look like a hen.
Don't chat a lot and at the same time keep the conversation going, show interest in the topics.
Do not give up food and forget about your diet - now is not the time. Like any other normal woman, your mother-in-law will be highly appreciated for the dishes she has prepared. Reward the lady for her efforts and get an extra point to your account. And if you ask for a recipe for some kind of food, then you will have a friend for life.
If acquaintance with the groom's parents takes place on neutral or your territory, clean up. Create a cozy and pleasant environment in the house, wash the floors, dust. Dishes, furniture, textiles, windows, door sills and other items must be clean. Do not forget to cook on the table, you do not know how - ask your parents for help. As a last resort, store-bought cake, candy and tea will do.

Remember - a successful acquaintance with the parents of the future spouse will be the key to a successful life. No one is going to guarantee a cloudless family life, but if you are in friendship with family members, then they will share the troubles with you. To do this, show those character traits that are inherent in a wise and far-sighted woman. Whether you like it or not, these are those who gave birth to your loved one and will remain his parents forever. And their help in the future will be important, because you will not find better nannies than loving grandparents!

Each relationship goes through several stages of development. At the entry level, there is a vanilla note with romantic evenings. A couple, like two sparrows, fly and coo next to each other. Over time, there comes a point when the relationship moves to a more serious stage. Namely: it is necessary to inform the parents about the existence of the second half. This is where thousands of difficulties begin!

Some ladies have been dating girls for years and are in no hurry to introduce them to their parents. Here is a reason to think. Perhaps your boyfriend's intentions about you are not the same as yours. But if you are still lucky, and an acquaintance is planned, then you are wrongly in one of the following situations:

The candy-bouquet period has passed and the relationship requires the next level... If you delay the acquaintance of your parents, then you can make yourself a bad reputation. Behind the back, conjectures will obviously arise and questions will be asked: "Why is she hiding?"
Relationships are of value to both partners... If both a guy and a girl make plans for the future and plan at least a happy life together, acquaintance is an important detail. It is important to think about whether you yourself are ready to spend your whole life with this person? Wouldn't this acquaintance be meaningless? Talk to your guy about his plans for you.
The guy himself proposed the idea to appear before the parental gaze of future father-in-law and mother-in-law... If a young man is the initiator, then we can assume that this is a marriage proposal. A man will never introduce a girl into his house if he has no serious intentions.

These three factors are the main reasons for making a visit to your beloved's home. But you should not take this step if:

you do not plan to live happily ever after with this person;
you meet to satisfy your needs, but do not think that you can build your future with this person;
you, in principle, do not think about the future and are not going to start a family;
you were the first to insist on getting to know your parents, pushing the guy into a more serious relationship. You should not put pressure on men, they themselves know and feel when to make the first acquaintance with their parents.

In these cases, getting to know your parents will be superfluous for both you and them. The worst outcome may be that you feel sorry for his mother and only because of her you will spend your whole life with her son, with whom you have little in common.

How to prepare to meet your boyfriend's parents

This is a natural question. It is important to think about this in advance. This gives a good advantage and increases the chances of a favorable outcome of such an event. And, as the saying goes: "Forewarned is forearmed!" In a specific case, the weapon is knowledge and awareness. So what do you need to consider and how to set yourself up? The following tips from family psychologists will help you:

Stop being afraid... Excitement is inherent in everyone. But do not bring it to the point of absurdity. Such experiences threaten to turn into the category of nightmares, and when we meet, not a sweet miss will be present, but a nervous and twitched hysterical woman.
Collection of information... Do not be lazy to ask your boyfriend important information about his parents: education, habits, interests, family lifestyle, family tree history, etc. Such knowledge will allow you to compose a psychological portrait of the mother and father of your beloved. By the way, this will come in handy if you love cats, and his mother is dogs. The cat lady and the dog lady can clash in the dispute "Which animal is better", and this at the first meeting will play a bad joke. Learn taboo topics - topics that are best left out. Plus, it's a great conversation starter - parents will appreciate your awareness and interest in their habits and pedigree.
Tune in to positive emotions... You don't need to see everything in black. On the contrary, this is a new stage in relations. And there you look, and the wedding is not far off. Think of it as a prospect for a further happy continuation.
Ditch the "Mother-in-law is a monster" stereotype... After all, how your relationship will develop at the initial stages will depend on your whole future life. Will you have a nice conversation when you meet or spit after each other, will your chosen one feel happy or constantly find himself between two fires. Be wiser, even if your mother-in-law lacks this wisdom. Your man will appreciate it!
Your target is mom... Most often, women are involved in raising children in a family. Therefore, it is important to win over the mother to herself. But this does not mean that the father should be ignored. Pay attention to all family members, but do it not feignedly, but sincerely. Show interest in the parenting profession. People love to talk about what they are good at..

First of all, you need to think about the good, and not let your fear take over. Believe me, his parents are also going through an exciting moment, especially if they are the only son. You can worry a little, but not bring yourself to stress and panic.

They are greeted by their clothes ...

Even in time immemorial they said: “ They are greeted by clothes, but escorted by the mind". And indeed it is. The first thing that his family will do when they meet is to assess you visually.

Anya, manager:
I remember as a mother-in-law, after the wedding I told my relatives about our first meeting with her. And no, she didn't say how good I was, she said: “I remember the first time I saw her, so cute, in this red sports jacket. She suited her like that. " My husband's family is sports and our first meeting was before leaving for a hockey club game, where my husband's younger brother is playing.

What to wear to lay a good foundation for dating from the first seconds?

Conciseness... What does it mean? Clothes should not be vulgar, without aggressive colors (acidic, gold, leopard colors, etc.).
Neatness... No stains or greasy sleeves! Everything should be ironed and shine with cleanliness. You can create an aura of purity for yourself using an unobtrusive light perfume.
Speaking of perfume - no intoxicating odors! Only light and delicate notes. Aggressively sweet and other aromas leave for another occasion.
Shoes without huge heels, knocked toes and scratched texture... No one would look at shoes under a microscope. And even if there is a small defect, then you can correct it. For example, a scratched heel can be tinted with regular nail polish.
Clothes without deep neckline and mini. Your task is not to demonstrate all your charms, but to please your parents, so choose less revealing outfits. Hide your tattoos and piercings, you don't need to shrug off your parents.
Appropriateness of clothing... If his parents invited you to nature, then it is appropriate to wear the appropriate outfit (for example, sportswear), and not a cocktail dress, in order to fiddle with and rush the guy to leave as soon as possible.

There is no need to go to extremes. You don't have to look like a gray mouse! See how the royal lady Kate Middleton dresses. This is an example of elegance. But here, too, you need to keep your balance! Dressing primly can put his parents in an awkward position. What if they expected to sit at home and have a heart-to-heart talk? And a girl dressed like a queen before going out will create a tense atmosphere.

What to give a guy's parents when they first meet?

Everything is more or less clear here. And this point should not pose any particular problems if you adhere to the basic rules:

You should not load his parents with expensive gifts at the first meeting. Forget perfume and cognac. This may seem like bribery and coaxing, which will negatively affect the first impression.
If the family has younger children, then it would be appropriate for them to bring a sweet gift (sweets, chocolate).
No amateur performances. A self-made dessert should not be presented either. Many girls, in a hurry to please his mother, bring their culinary masterpiece with them. This step is worth resorting to in one case - if the lady is an unsurpassed pastry chef and can make tiramisu with her eyes closed. In other cases, it is not necessary to take such a risk. First, you don't know all the taste preferences of his family yet. Secondly, there is a chance to cook tasteless, and this is already a minus in the piggy bank. A selection of different pastries from a good pastry shop or a small cake is a great option.

You shouldn't buy something that you haven't tried yet. After all, there is a chance to get screwed up.

Rush hour - how to deal with a guy's parents

And now, the cherished moment has come. You came on time. The cake is handed over, everyone is presented to each other. We proceed to the next step - we create the perfect image. How to behave with a guy's parents? To do this, follow the rules of the three "NOT":

Not interrupt;
Not showing our psychos;
Not turn up our nose.

You need to hide your cockroaches in your head far away. We try to show interest in the topic of conversation, even if we don't like it. We do not interrupt and do not interfere with our additions if mom or dad tells something. Not showing arrogance, after all, not at the Queen's party.

Remember:

You shouldn't focus on yourself ... Ask your parents more about their hobbies or about your son.
Be humble ... If the parents noticed a positive change in the character of their son after meeting you, there is no need to focus on this and boast that "yes, yes, we will fix a lot of things and teach your son a lot."
Don't give a passionate hug in front of your parents ... Now is not the time to cuddle and kiss. Even if you do not feel comfortable among them, this is not a reason for such behavior.
When you first meet, you can ask them how they want you to contact them. ... If you have not done this, then it will always be correct to call them by name and patronymic. If this does not suit them, they themselves will later tell how it will be better.
If the first meeting took place on your territory - in the apartment where you live with a guy, then it will be right to prepare for their arrival ... Get as much order as possible. Wash all corners and shelves. But don't forget about food. Check with the guy about his parents' food preferences and prepare the appropriate meals.
Shouldn't talk incessantly ... If you do not know what to say, you better keep silent.

How to please a guy's parents

Any girl dreams that after meeting her, only pleasant impressions will remain. How to please a guy's parents and win their sympathy? Let's start in order:

Help... A good step is to offer your help to the guy's mom when setting the table. If the table is set, offer to help her clear the table after the dinner party is over. His mother will appreciate such an impulse, and a plus in the piggy bank is provided.

Ekaterina, actress.
I remember how his mother told me later: “Not one of Andrei’s girlfriend has washed the dishes after dinner with us.” I was very pleased.

Take care of your young man... It should be remembered that his mother evaluates you not only in appearance, but also in your ability to take care of her son. It is enough just like that, supposedly in between times offering him to try a salad or something else. In general, show your care and affection in every possible way.
Measure in everything... With the manifestation of such maternal troubles, one should not go so far as fanaticism. Otherwise, the girl will look like a brood hen.
Eat everything! Here it is worth forgetting about the diet, and about the diet and about its regime. Do you already know in advance that the lunch will be hearty? Arrange a fasting day the day before, but try all the dishes on the table. You should not heap mountains of food for yourself, it is enough to try everything and a little bit. The good appetite of the guests is the best praise for the hostess, in this case, the groom's mother.
Praise her culinary skills... This can be done in a very simple way. Say that you have never eaten such and such a salad tastier, and ask for a recipe. It is better to cooperate with the future mother-in-law than to be on opposite sides of the barricades. The main thing is to show interest, it won't hurt you if you are polite and ask for a recipe, this does not mean that you will cook it every day at home.

What to do if they don't like you

After the meeting, ask the guy if everything went well. Perhaps you did something wrong, but being in a stressful state, you did not notice it and did not attach importance. If you made a fatal mistake, then at the next meeting, apologize for it. His mom will certainly appreciate it. Be sincere and say that you were worried before your acquaintance, because I wanted your relationship to be warm in the future, and not like in films where the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law constantly bite.

If his parents raised such a wonderful man, then there is something good in them, try to find it.

Nastya, auditor.
Our relationship with my mother-in-law never became good, and at our wedding, as a sign of protest, she wore a black dress, and her toast was appropriate to the funeral dress, as if she was escorting her son to the war. All my relatives noticed this. I was so ashamed ...

Pitfalls and what you need to know

Meeting the groom's parents is not an easy ritual. There are a number of points to consider:

Check for lice is possible... Sometimes his mom provokes you. You should not succumb to such a provocation and find a compromise. Be wiser!
If the situation gets out of hand, try to turn it into a joke or turn the conversation to another topic. In general, if the situation is heating up, it is better to divert attention by telling a funny story.
Rudeness on the part of his parents is more rare than persistence.... But if such outbreaks occur, do not ignite like a match. Of course, you should not allow yourself to be trampled into the mud, but you should not respond with rudeness to rudeness.
Make a good impression of yourself whenever possible.... Have you offered to watch the family album? Don't refuse! This is a great chance to bond.
Don't scold their son at all... Any insults addressed to him are excluded. Whatever he is with you, you have already made a choice, and your relationship with him is only between you. It is unnecessary to initiate parents into this, especially at the first meeting with them. Even if the parents themselves started the topic that their son is not so neat, for example, one should not assent to them, even in such trifles.
Respect for elders... Do not forget that these are still more experienced people and much older than you, so do not switch to slang, be restrained and respectful to them.

Everything is not so difficult if you keep common sense and reason. And in order for the mind to always be bright, you should not lean on alcoholic drinks at the table. Even if there is intense excitement, it is better to eat it with a piece of meat than drink it with a glass of wine.

Getting to know your parents well is the foundation for a future marriage.

The girl can feel the importance of this acquaintance on herself the very next day. If his parents began to call for a visit, and the first acquaintance did not become the last, this is the key to a happily developing relationship. In addition, after such an event, there will be the same, but in the opposite direction - the guy's acquaintance with the girl's parents. It should take place after the lady herself was directly introduced to his family. Acquaintance from both sides allows us to say that the relationship has serious intentions. And the girl herself, based on the experience of meeting his parents, can make up an ideal meeting between the groom and her loved ones.

How to please your parents? Secrets of a successful acquaintance.

New meetings always make a person worry and worry, because you want to present yourself in a good light, please the interlocutor, interest and leave only positive impressions and emotions after joint communication. The acquaintance of parents with the boy's parents will make you especially nervous. After all, how the dialogue between all the participants in the meeting proceeds depends on how further relations will develop. Perhaps in the future, the girl and the boy will start a family. Then you will not be able to avoid regular meetings between relatives.

Perfect acquaintance

Such a meeting takes place only after the first acquaintance with the boy's parents has taken place, and the girl is familiar with the family of her beloved, knows what kind of people they are, what they do, what they love and what they are fond of. So tell your mom and dad about them so that you get the right idea. They need to be aware of the main points. And at the same time think together where it is better to go, how to behave, what to talk about. Don't be afraid to listen to your elders. After all, they wish you only all the best, they want their child to be happy, not to know sorrows.

Are you planning to meet the boy's parents with the girl's parents? There is no need to be afraid, everything will go well if you plan in advance the tactics of behavior, think over your appearance. In general, take into account even the smallest nuances.

Choice of outfit and makeup

Regardless of the place where the parents first meet the guy's parents, do not wear short things: a skirt, a dress. Be natural, no pretentiousness. A prerequisite is a minimum of makeup.

If you go to a restaurant or cafe, for a gala lunch or dinner, then the length of the outfit is up to the knees. If the acquaintance of a guy's parents with a girl and her family takes place in an informal setting, then do not overdo it with the image, be simpler. Of course, you have to be great no matter where the meeting is taking place.

Behavior tactics

Follow the rules of etiquette. During lunch, sit down where you were asked to sit. Call the guy's parents by name and patronymic, thereby showing respect and attention to them. You don't need these "Aunt Natasha" or "Uncle Petya". Such treatment is unacceptable. Also, do not immediately contact: mom, dad. It remains to be seen how your relationship with your boyfriend will turn out, whether it will come to a wedding, in general, no familiarity. Do not lie and do not exaggerate your merits and merits, do not be fake and deliberately ostentatious. Artificiality and deception will quickly open up and make a negative impression on the relatives of a loved one.

Be at ease, try not to show your excitement. If you cannot help but worry, then drink valerian before going to your parents.

By the way, in order not to be embarrassed in front of the guy's parents, ask your mother not to take photos from the times of your carefree childhood. For example, where you pose while sitting on a pot, or lie naked on the couch, etc. Also ask your relatives not to go into nostalgic memories associated with your participation.

Topics for conversation

So, here it is, the long-awaited acquaintance with the guy's parents! How to behave, what to say, so that the conversation is not boring and tense, but is held at the highest level?

Main topics and rules of conversation:

don't ask the first question; if you are addressing your loved one’s family, avoid unnecessary questions that put you in an uncomfortable position;
do not praise the interior and decoration of the apartment / house / cottage, excessive flattery is inappropriate (provided that you understand the decor and arrangement of housing, you can clarify something, suggest something);
obsession and excessive attention and care will negatively affect the overall impression of you as a person;
smile at the guy's mom first, give her a compliment, while the smile should be sincere and good-natured;

Choose neutral topics for communication, try to establish contact between your parents. Find common ground, even if your family members are radically opposed both in views and in lifestyle. Let's say the guy's dad and mom are from the village, ordinary people, and the girls are the “cream of society”, city dwellers, so to speak, are the intelligentsia. In common between them - zero point zero tenths of a percent. But it is necessary to somehow unite them, bring them closer together. What will help? Of course you are their children! Perhaps parents will remember funny funny incidents related to your upbringing or growing up, let them share their thoughts about your joint future or plans for grandchildren. Then you will not even notice how the time of acquaintance will fly by, and you will not feel the tension and awkwardness.

Praise your family members, tell them how wonderful they are, that you love and respect them. They will be doubly pleased that the child treats them this way and is proud of mom and dad.

You don't need to do this!

So the day has come when the acquaintance with the guy's parents will take place. Tips to follow in order to nullify all the unpleasant moments are presented below.

What not to do when meeting young people:

do not quarrel and do not sort things out;
do not show excessive love for each other;
do not scold or criticize your beloved or beloved;
do not point out each other's shortcomings;
there is no need to kiss or hug endlessly, parents already understand that you love and are loved;
in any case, do not be late for a meeting, it is indecent and will expose you in an unattractive light! Punctuality - Above all, try to show up 10 minutes early.

Present

Gifts are a guarantee that the acquaintance of parents with the boy's parents will take place on a good-natured and pleasant note. But there are rules that must be adhered to when presenting a present:

flowers are a universal gift for both men and women, just keep in mind that bouquets are different;
do not give expensive gifts so that parents do not feel embarrassed;
be sure to give gifts to both parties (both yours and his mom and dad), this principle works flawlessly, since all relatives will be happy that they were not forgotten, that they paid attention to everyone.

After all, the most important thing is care, which manifests itself even in trinkets and trifles. Please your parents, pleasant emotions when you meet will create a welcoming atmosphere. Bring a bottle of good wine with you, provided that all relatives drink alcoholic beverages. If the acquaintance takes place in an informal atmosphere, at a picnic, then make a barbecue, buy quality beer, or maybe something stronger, then communication will improve faster.

Conclusion

Let the acquaintance of parents with the guy's parents be the starting point in your relationship, which will grow into a wedding, and then into a carefree family idyll! Do not be afraid that you will not be able to please the mom and dad of your beloved 100%. Do not despair, because all people are different, with their own oddities and "cockroaches in the head." The most important thing is how you relate to each other, your feelings, mutual love and trust. Parents, both the girl and the groom, will understand that your couple is perfect, but what else is needed? To make the children happy. Or maybe the first meeting will mark the creation of a strong, large and friendly family, in which laughter, good nature, comfort and joy will always reign!