Male psychology in relation to a mistress. Relationship with a married man. The psychology of relationships with a married man

24.08.2019

Many women are interested in the question of why men have mistresses. Especially when initially nothing overshadowed the marriage union, there was sincere, true love. But somewhere she gave a crack and everything went awry.

In general, if we consider the psychology of a married man, then in the presence of real and sincere feelings for a woman, he naturally will not even think about his mistress. The beloved woman for him will always be in the first place, from the fact that she is called beloved, that there are no others.

The only problem is that not everyone understands what true love is. If we consider the meaning of this word, then it means a disinterested, selfless interest in another person. The desire to be his support, support, to share with him all the sorrows, troubles, and not just happy moments. The ability to brighten up gray everyday life and develop together.

And when there was no love at all, then over time a new hobby may appear. More vivid, interesting, fascinating, in the form of a relationship with a mistress.

This is especially true when the initial relationship prior to marriage was based solely on sexual interest, attraction, and falling in love.

Such relationships begin passionately, but the passion fades over time, the emotions fade, weaken, and eventually become blunted. Nothing causes emotional excitement, awe, and in order to feel it all again, married men find relationships on the side. but that's not the only reason.

There is another no less significant - disappointment and a desire to get away from problems. This is especially the case when a man idealizes a woman, endows her with the desired qualities, or does not notice shortcomings. But they still show up over time. And then there is a natural desire to find an outlet.

A relationship with a mistress for a married man is a kind of escape from problems. The desire to resurrect dead emotions, to get new impressions. Especially if nothing in family life pleases.

But the relationship with a mistress is inherently easy, not colored by family problems, there is no need to bear responsibility. In addition to the fact that he sees his mistress most often in a good mood, she is always well-groomed, beautiful. Here the very image of a woman is pleasant, light, carefree, then there is already a desire to have a good time with her and often continue the relationship in the same easy and format.

As a result, we can conclude that in a relationship on the side, a married man is looking for something that he does not find in the family and finds in the character of his mistress. She can tie him to exactly what he lacks.

How to become the best mistress of a married man psychology

In principle, women who want to become the mistress of a married man should be prepared for the fact that the role of a mistress is not enviable and not permanent. Especially if a married man has something to lose, and he has a lot to do with his wife - money, property, children.
But on the other hand, if a woman can give more or become more significant for him, then there is a possibility of continuing the relationship.
What does it take to become the best mistress of a married man psychology
Find out all his strengths and weaknesses. But this is not necessary for manipulation, if a man notices that he is being manipulated, then it is more likely that he will end the relationship. Knowing his strengths and weaknesses, it is easier to become more significant in his life. And accordingly, show that he means a lot in your life.
Next comes the ability to give, just do not confuse it with the ability to please. It just doesn't fit here. The ability to give here means psychologically. After all, every man wants to see that he is needed, appreciated, understood. And the extent to which you give him understanding, attention, spiritual strength, to the extent that it will return to you in the form of affection.
It is equally important to always be in good shape. This applies to good health, well-groomed appearance and slim figure and beauty of clothing. It is necessary to make sure that after meeting with you, the man has only the best memories, and the more there are, the stronger he will again be drawn to you.
Create an atmosphere of celebration and relaxation for him. After all, if he is drawn to such a relationship, then he is tired of gray everyday life and routine, and he wants new experiences, which he does not receive in the family.
Find out more about his life, interests, dreams, and what he lacks. If possible, become a like-minded person for him, a true friend with whom he can share what worries him. One of the rules of psychology says that we like those who understand us, support us, share our thoughts. We usually become attached to such people very quickly.

Married mistress of a married man psychology

More complex and confusing option. Usually this happens when a man and a woman have children, a family, a job, but something is missing in their family life. Everything is perceived as familiar, uninteresting and boring. And then you want new impressions and emotions.

Such relationships can develop in unpredictable ways. They can either break at any moment or continue indefinitely. Since this form of relationship is convenient in that you do not have to bear responsibility, delve into and solve problems on the side.

Meetings take place at a convenient time, there are no obligations. There is more freedom, however, illusory freedom. Since they will not be able to fully reveal their relationship to others and have to hide them.

The younger the man and woman, the easier it is for them to have such relationships and the easier it is to hide. But the older they get, constant secrets, fear that they don’t find out about the relationship, can turn into a neurosis, and a headache.

Psychology of married men in a relationship with a mistress

But if we talk about the psychology of married men in relation to their mistresses, then often the attitude towards them is not serious. After all, the relationship was built on easy communication without obligations, where the main goal was to have a good time, to have fun. But sooner or later they will end, which will immediately affect the relationship.

It doesn’t cost him anything to end a relationship with a woman with whom he has nothing to do. Passion ends, emotions become dull, and if there is no attachment, then it’s not easy for a man to leave a woman. Many men break up with women easily.

True, there is such a type of men who are easily and permanently attached. But these are usually soft men, with a vivid imagination and a fine mental organization, who perceive the world emotionally. But most women call such men weak.

And reach out to the strong, sometimes perceiving the rudeness and rigidity of character as masculinity and strength. Naively believing that with her he would not be the same as with others. With her, he will be a gentle kitten. Only now such men are more guided by the instinct of the male, and his task is, no matter how trite it sounds, in fertilization.

They are alien to the emotional perception of love, this perception is reduced solely to instincts and entertainment. But on the other hand, women are still drawn to brutal men.

As a result, we can conclude that a man who is not endowed with subtle perception, emotionality, gentleness, sincerity, will easily find lovers, leave and find new ones again.

Why does a married man need a mistress psychology

As mentioned above, married men find mistresses in order to:

Take a break from family problems, everyday life and gray everyday life
Resurrect lost emotions
Get new experiences
Feel the novelty of sexual relations
Find understanding, an outlet
Have a relationship without obligations that can be ended at any moment
It is not excluded the desire to flirt, love adventures

The psychology of the relationship between an unmarried man and his mistress

In general, they are no different from the options described above. Except if a man is lonely, not spoiled by female attention, and has a soft, sentimental character, then he will quickly and permanently become attached.

And vice versa, if a man is not characterized by emotions and affection, he is spoiled by female attention, then it is unlikely that he will appreciate this relationship. Moreover, some men are characterized by a desire to get new sexual experiences with a new woman. Only relationships built on sexual impressions, passion, are not durable. But here everyone chooses what he likes.

How to stop being the mistress of a married man psychology

If you want to stop being the mistress of a married man, then you will have to put him before a choice. Or he officially recognizes a relationship with you. Or the relationship will have to end.

In the latter case, you will have to delete everything related to a married man. And switch your attention to more interesting events. In principle, many psychologists give such advice. And of course it is very difficult at first. But this happens only at the beginning, especially if you yourself are very accustomed to a man.

But the less contacts, meetings, communication with him, the faster this attachment will leave and die. For the best effect, it is advisable to find yourself a new acquaintance. As the saying goes, a wedge is knocked out with a wedge. That's it a new acquaintance with another man can quickly heal from affection and memories.

What is it like to be the mistress of a married man psychology

In general, the fate of lovers is not enviable. You have to hide a lot, be on the sidelines in the life of a married man and invest a lot in relationships in order to save them.

After all, you will have to create a good atmosphere for meetings, constantly make sure that the man is comfortable and good with you. To make him happy with everything, listen to him, pay attention, and nothing in return. His lion's share of attention will still go to children and family, wife and all relatives. And only then, what remains, then the mistress will receive.

And the mistress will have to constantly invest a lot in relationships in order to maintain the attention of a man. On the one hand, there seems to be nothing wrong. But from the point of view of psychology, when a woman invests a lot of effort for a man. The man begins to take it for granted. It is easy to get and he has nothing to lose.

And another catch is that when a woman invests a lot of effort for a man, the significance of a man for him increases. After all, she did so much for him and she no longer wants to lose him. But for him, the importance of women is reduced. Especially when he did nothing for a woman, what did he have to lose.

This often happens when there is no equality, sincerity, or naturalness in a relationship. And when they are built on the personal, selfish desires of a man to satisfy his passion or other desires, without paying attention to what the mistress wants. Therefore, she will not be in his first place.

Why does a married man need a constant lover psychology articles

Most often, such men get used to, become attached to another woman, but there is not enough strength and confidence to choose who he needs more, a lover or a wife. It is not easy for all men to break off relations with their wife, especially if there are a lot of things that connect them.

The absence of what he lacks in the family, he finds in his mistress. When it is constant, then there are many fewer problems. She can be trusted more, there is no need to look for another mistress again.

Treat permanent mistresses like a second wife. There may already be more responsibility, seriousness, and a desire to help in a difficult situation. But only here the concept of a constant lover is relative. Because nothing in life lasts forever.

Answers to questions about the love triangle for men and women.

The feeling of falling in love and the instinct to preserve the family push men and women to create family unions. Sometimes people feel their loneliness so keenly that they are ready to sacrifice a lot to find their soul mate. But after finding their beloved women and marrying them, men change their attitude towards them. After the seal of marriage appears in the passport, women turn from an object of worship into housekeepers, dishwashers, cooks and educators of children. Often in the list of these cases there is absolutely no communication and contact with the husband. Therefore, having found the ideal wife, men begin to look for the ideal lover.

What does the ideal wife look like in the eyes of a man?

She is great at cooking
She endlessly cleans up the family nest
She is dedicated to taking care of children.
She gets along with her mother-in-law and other in-laws of her husband

What does the ideal lover look like in the eyes of a man?

She is beautiful and knows how to take care of herself.
She never has a headache and is always ready for active sex
She does not walk around the house in a soiled bathrobe and house slippers.
She does not load the problems of the family budget and poor grades of children at school.

Can a woman combine an ideal wife and an ideal lover? Practice shows that this task turns out to be impossible for women, because it is difficult for women to turn into a goddess of sex by playing the role of a voluntary slave of a plate and a doormat.

The number of divorces due to infidelity can be reduced by doing housework together

But, if she can shift at least some of the “light housework” onto her husband’s shoulders, she will have the time and desire to do new hairstyles, face and body skin care and new outfits. Since it turns out to be easier and much more interesting for a man to find a woman on the side, and not to unload his wife from domestic work, this task remains impossible for a woman.

Why does a married man need a mistress, what does a mistress mean to him, what does he expect from her?

The main reason why men start an affair on the side is the dissatisfaction of their sexual life with their wife. It can be difficult for husbands to understand what to expect from a woman who spins like a squirrel in the wheel of initiative and the realization of a man’s desires. If a woman works not only at home, but also goes to work, then returning home after a hard day, picking up her children from kindergarten or school, washing the dishes, and feeding her family dinner, she dreams not about sex, but to sleep.

A man, even if he went to work, but freed from domestic work, is full of energy and sexual desires. Perhaps many women will be surprised, but the vast majority of men, especially those under 30, want sex every day or every other day. If such a schedule does not coincide with the schedule of the wife's desires, he will seek satisfaction on the side.

As a result, by unloading a man from domestic work and loading themselves, women themselves create the prerequisites for her husband's infidelity.

Also, the reason that makes a man look for a mistress may not be the quantity, but the quality of sex. Many couples are shy or afraid to discuss these topics with each other. And it is difficult for them not only to express wishes about what they would like to receive from sex, but also difficult to talk about what they do not like in sexual intimacy.

What does a married man expect from his mistress?

Deciding on treason, a man expects sexual satisfaction from his mistress. But communication on the side involves not only having sex, but also communication. If scandals and showdowns occur in the family, and the lover knows how to listen and understand a man, then an affair on the side can lead to a divorce from his wife. Many single women, entering into a love affair with a married man, seek to divorce such a man from his wife. And to achieve this goal, they skillfully use the contrast that a man sees between his mistress and his wife.

The psychology of the relationship between a married man and his mistress

As a rule, a married man, meeting with his mistress, does not seek divorce and marry another woman. He is quite satisfied with the love triangle, where in the family circle he receives care from his wife, contact with his children, and from his mistress, complete satisfaction of sexual needs. Such a double life can cause him petty remorse and guilt towards his wife. Unfortunately, these negative emotions do not affect his intentions to leave this situation unchanged.

A woman who acts as a lover cannot but feel the inferiority of her position and will strive in every possible way to change it. If the mistress insists on a divorce, and the man opposes this, the idyll between her and a married man can be broken. This can lead to a break between them.

Can a married man love both his wife and his mistress: signs

The word "love" has different meanings for men and women. So for a woman, love can be synonymous with fidelity, devotion, a sense of inspiration and the desire to take care of a man. And for a man, “love” can mean a willingness to have sex with a woman. Can a man be willing to have sex with more than one woman? Definitely can and even aspires to it. This does not mean that in adultery with or without reason, you need to suspect every man. The presumption of innocence or lack of proof of a crime applies not only to hardened criminals, but also to husbands.

Can a married man be jealous of his mistress?

Jealousy or a sense of ownership is inherent in the relationship of a married man and his mistress. Despite the fact that in the life of a mistress he is only "coming for an hour", she can be jealous of his wife. In addition, she cannot but understand that she is not the only one to whom such a man could turn his attention. A man is able to be jealous of his mistress to other men and feel like the Sultan of a harem, where every concubine is his property.

Why do married men have young mistresses?

Often, older men have young mistresses in order to increase their self-esteem and increase potency, if there is a tendency for it to fade. This is because it is young women who have the strongest sexual attraction. They attract the attention of men, like females capable of procreation. Here play the role of pheromones, which smells like a young woman in the period of fertilization.

Can a mistress be older than a man?

Yes, young, sexually inexperienced men tend to have experienced mistresses older than them. If an elderly woman, in addition to successful sex, offers a young man delicious dinners, the ability to listen without getting irritated and give wise advice, such an alliance can be very successful.

How many mistresses can a married man have?

If a man is in excellent sexual shape and wants sex every day, then the number of his mistresses can equal the number of his sex sessions. This is a slight exaggeration of the truth, which is that for a man who has allowed himself one mistress, it is not difficult to have so many of them that his body can withstand.

Does a man leave the family for his mistress: how often, in what cases?

In the vast majority of cases, a man does not leave the family for his mistress. Because he perfectly understands that he is already in a great position. Often the initiator of the gap is the wife, who found out about her husband's infidelity. In this case, a man can go to his mistress involuntarily. He can also leave the family if his marriage is bursting at the seams due to mutual misunderstanding between him and his wife.

If a mistress offers him attentive care and understanding instead of scandals in his family, he can buy into such tricks and leave his wife. In the event that a man marries his new passion and she receives the status of “wife” instead of the status of “lover”, he risks repeating the failures of his first marriage, but in a tougher version, and his new wife risks getting the role of a wife expecting her husband after the trip to a new more interesting woman.

Which mistresses do men go to?

In order to win in a love triangle, the mistress must be many times better than the wife. Often a woman tries so hard to get closer to the ideal of a man and win that she really becomes a beauty, a smart girl and a goddess of sex. The only thing a man should remember when leaving for such a woman is that she is working on such an image to the limit of her abilities and will stop straining immediately after she becomes a wife.

When do married men leave their mistresses?

Mistresses are not abandoned if they perform the functions assigned to them. But in the event that a woman who is in the role of a lover begins to sort out the functions of a wife, that is, she scandalizes, sorts out relationships, refuses to have sex, then she receives the status of a former lover, and the man finds a more interesting option for himself.

Does a man go through a breakup, do men forget their former lovers?

If the separation between two people happened by mutual agreement, then it can be painless for both the man and the woman. If such people remember the time spent together, then with a slight sadness and gratitude. If the gap was painful and at the initiative of one of the parties, then the man or woman who has lost intimacy will suffer and be tormented by experiences. If the woman who left was bright, non-standard and a Personality with a capital letter, then it will be impossible for a man to forget such a woman.

How to part with a mistress to a married man?

If a man wants to leave a woman beautifully, and without causing her too much moral harm, he must think about how the vacuum or emptiness that will form after his departure will be filled. The most banal, primitive, but working way to “leave unnoticed” is to introduce such a woman to a man who may be interested in a sexually horny lady. If the vacuum is not filled, then the one who left his mistress to the mercy of fate is guaranteed to receive phone calls from a former mistress with requests to meet or “random meetings” on the street.

The best way to get away from a mistress is to captivate her with a new man

Love triangles or polygons have existed in the distant past, are in the present and will be in the future as long as humanity exists. And one can only analyze and state such facts without trying to give wonderful recipes for solving this problem.

What's in the article:

Statistics say - 70% of the stronger sex is cheating on his wife. It is difficult to understand: why do married men have mistresses? Is it really that hard to be faithful? Today site Koshechka.ru will try to understand this problem and give answers to the age-old questions regarding infidelity.

Why does a man need a wife and a constant lover at the same time

This question haunts many wives. Indeed, it seems that this life situation does not make any sense. After all, having a beautiful, loving wife, having a mistress is simply pointless.

You can answer that it's all about sex drive. But why then a constant lover, if you can satisfy this need with some short-term acquaintance ?

And if these are feelings, a new love? Why torture your wife then? It would be more logical to divorce her and start openly meeting with a new love.

Where is the logic? The thing is that there is no logic in the relationship between a man and a woman! Everything here is based on feelings and sensations!

Nevertheless, it is possible to understand this situation and find a rational explanation for why a man gets a constant mistress. In considering this issue, we will refer to the opinion of psychologists who have studied this issue.

Reasons why married men are drawn to treason

The man has problems at work. He comes home, and what awaits him there? Crying children, lack of money, neglected wife, "clogged" with household problems. Conflicts and quarrels - only push to treason! Polls showed: "Most of them go to their mistress - as if on a holiday."

Psychologists identify the most important reason for cheating - the lack of new sensations! It is the thirst for novelty that pushes a married man to have a mistress. From this, you can draw only one conclusion: avoid the routine in family life.

Among the most common reasons that encourage cheating, the site highlights the site:

Thirst for new emotions;
The need for a person to whom you can “cry”, pour out your negativity;
Addiction to alcohol. It is under the influence of alcohol that infidelity occurs most often;
Pregnancy and postpartum period. This is the time when a woman cannot always have sex. Unsatisfied desire pushes the stronger sex to change;
Influence of friends. Often in men's companies there is an erroneous opinion that any self-respecting man should acquire a mistress;
The desire to feel full of strength and energy.

But still, the leading position is occupied bysexual dissatisfaction in marriage. Long family life often negatively affects the intimate side. And this makes a married man look for a new sexual partner who is able to “ignite” a spark in him.

Very often married people have different attitudes towards sex. For a husband, this is important and necessary, and a wife can put sex in the last place on her list of desires. What can this lead to? An unmarried woman, in this regard, can become a serious competitor to her wife, exhausted by everyday problems. Here lies the reason why a man takes a mistress at work. Sexual dissatisfaction, and even a strong workload contribute to the fact that it is at work that he will get himself a mistress who will save him from these two troubles.

Why do men take lovers? Yes, because nature is so laid down that they have a tendency to polygamy. In ancient times, it was the norm for several women to become pregnant by the strongest man in the tribe so that their children would be strong and hardy. Animals live like this too. Perhaps genetic memory pushes faithful husbands to betray.

How psychology explains this behavior of men

Male psychology pushes for adventures, it is easy for them to start relationships on the side. But, these will most likely be fleeting connections to satisfy the feeling of novelty in sexual relations. If a man loves his wife, the family is his rear, then the relationship on the side will most likely not develop into anything serious.

A completely different situation can emerge if scandals await a man at home, and sex is a very rare occurrence. If in a new relationship he finds what he lacks at home, it is quite possible that you will soon become a member of a love triangle.

If a man takes a mistress, as psychology explains, he is not at all going to divorce his wife. Even if for several years both of his women do not want to change anything, he will not change anything either. Why would he? It turns out that a man does not see the point in refusing a pleasant pastime with both women who are not indifferent to him. It is convenient for him to live and get what he needs from them!

Having made a series of surveys, having conducted their research, professional psychologists emphasize that different age categories of men have lovers for completely different reasons.

Young husbands, who are not yet 20 years old, are asserting themselves at the expense of women. Having married early, the guy does not see anything wrong with treason, because he considers the connection as the subordination of a woman to a man.
A man under the age of 45 already manages to realize some of his life plans. But, unfortunately, often, his sexual fantasies remain unrealized. This factor pushes him to treason.
The peak of male infidelity begins after 50 years. Why do men over 50 get lovers? It's simple - old age is approaching, and who doesn't want to feel young and full of energy again? These pleasant sensations are quite capable of giving a young lover. Therefore, often, at this age, it is young girls who act as the mistress of a married man.

In addition to age factors, the crisis of family relations also plays a huge role.

Stages of a family crisis:

Two years together. The novelty in the relationship has already "become boring". This stage is easy to overcome without betrayal, simply by bringing maximum variety to your intimate life;
Ten years. This period is characterized by the fact that the spouses know absolutely everything about each other. Living together, raising children - do not set up a wave of romance at all. What to do? Psychologists, in order to understand how important you are to each other, advise you to go on a trip, but separately;
Thirty years. Now that the children have become adults, the spouses have little in common. Grandchildren can save the situation. If a man cheats, it means that he simply fell out of love.

Cheating in the family is a crisis. But, do not despair: the crisis is new opportunities! Having learned about your mistress, you will be able to take a fresh look at yourself and your husband, analyze your relationship. Do not be afraid, make a decision: change yourself, or leave the traitor. Husband is cheating, no need to blame only him, relationships are the work of two. Talk, decide on the next steps and act! Be happy!

Every event has a reason. What reasons make people look for feelings and emotions on the side, guys go to their mistresses, girls become them, what is the psychology of the relationship between them?

How does a man get on the path of looking for joys on the side, and not in his own family? Since many problems come from childhood and the behavior model laid down by his parents, it is not difficult to guess: the attitude towards infidelity will be projected by the similar behavior of his father.

Here are a few reasons why such a desire is formed in a boy:

if in childhood he often witnessed conflicts, he will in adulthood strive to move away from them to where there are no such conflicts. He simply does not know how to solve them;
if there was no respect for each other in the family, the boundaries of responsibility, loyalty, obligations were not clearly set, he will bring this to his family;
the first sexual experience was unsuccessful, and now the guy is constantly looking for confirmation of his male viability, he treats everyone he meets as an opportunity to establish himself;
if his mother established an authoritarian style in the family and did not give him the opportunity to show it, he will never learn to do it in adulthood.

This is the kind of male psychology in relation to a mistress that can provoke a search for someone else. But a man will not go to his mistress if there are no problems with his wife.

What is the husband looking for?

Sex. It sometimes turns into a monotonous ritual that does not bring pleasure. Not so with a friend, at least at first. In addition, to see a lady in attractive underwear, and not in a dressing gown, flirtatious, not tired - everyone will like it.
Romance, intrigue. Men have the instinct of a hunter, a conqueror, and it is just as pleasant to give him as it is for the “weaker” sex to receive. Communication. Life is adjusted, but there is nothing to talk about. If the wife has ceased to understand, you need to look for someone who will understand.
status indicator. The opinion of men about him as a male, a leader is very important - whether he has a young girlfriend. Is he financially secure enough to satisfy her whims. Men talk about their mistresses as achievements, brag about them to each other.
If both partners do not support each other during pregnancy, a man can “go to the side”.

These reasons have one thing in common: men in relationships With girlfriend looking for something that they do not have in marriage. If he has a wonderful, warm, trusting contact with his wife, he does not need trips to the side. But if difficulties arise, it is easier to look for a person with whom he does not have them. They will be the one who is indifferent to his marital status. Although, perhaps not for long.

What threatens for married sex on the side?

divorce, division of property, children;
deterioration in financial condition (based on the first paragraph);
separation from children, restriction of communication with them. Wives can turn them against you.

If a married man has a well-groomed and self-sufficient mistress, it will be necessary to match her. A man will have a special, hunting interest in such a lady: you need to constantly make sure that she stays with him, because there will be a lot of people who want to offer her something more interesting. In this case, it is very convenient when he is associated with a married woman, you do not need to take her out to crowded places, attend parties together. A bonus to all factors is also the looseness of a girlfriend. Such communication will make him feel much younger and wealthier.

What the “weaker sex” is looking for in adultery

Those who strive for strong deep connections and feelings reject contacts with married people as obviously unpromising and troublesome. If the lady is not married, then she becomes the girlfriend of a married man, if she has low self-esteem and problems with male attention. Or if she is afraid of serious, deep feelings and dependence, his family is a very convenient cover for not taking things too far. And it is not at all shameful to be her mistress in this case.

Married to Married Romance

There may be several reasons:

sex;
seeking care, support, attention;
financial aid;
the desire to escape from the family with its problems, work, routine;
the opportunity to build a new family with another partner.

If we talk about sexual contacts, she will look for another if her husband does not satisfy her or if he forces her to do something with which she does not agree. In addition, it is possible that later such a hobby will develop into sincere feelings.

How to make relationships as enjoyable as possible

If this suits everyone, you should listen to the recommendations given by books on the psychology of interaction between a man and a woman:

remember, your partner has obligations and family problems, don't give ultimatums;
do not condemn, do not demand the impossible - your communication should bring you joy and rest, not vice versa;
trust each other more;
do not try to change the other, accept the situation as it is;
pronounce those circumstances that do not suit you, do not demand that you be understood perfectly and guess hints and views. Communicate more, even if your communication is just sex.

Why does this relationship end?

Communication with a mistress sometimes lasts for years, in fact, it resembles life in two families. But there are reasons that make everything stop:

when one of the partners begins to make excessive demands;
there are reproaches, expectations, this is more typical for the behavior of women. She ceases to appreciate the relationship between you, but she is not yet able to say directly about the desire to break them;
disappointment or fatigue sets in;
if the mistress begins to load with unnecessary details, details, instead of just letting her rest;
no matter how good sex is, but if after it there is nothing to talk about, it is better to find another partner;
the appearance of a new mistress, more interesting or meeting expectations.

Once upon a time, lovers were called people who love each other. Nowadays, just love between them is not at all necessary - only sex. Stable feelings can be between two partners, the appearance of a third party makes the situation unstable and painful. The triangle "wife, husband and girlfriend", no matter how long it exists, sooner or later has to be interrupted. How hard everything will be perceived from the male side depends on how men relate to cheating as such. In any case, this will not be easy for anyone.

Almost every girl from childhood dreams of a prince on a white horse who will find her, win her heart and make her the happiest in the world. And so, the years passed, the girl grew up, and he appeared on the horizon - a real Prince, smart, cheerful, caring, reliable, handsome, in love, in a word, not a man - a dream. That's just the "Prince" has one drawback - a wedding ring on his right hand. And before the woman there is a difficult choice: to become the mistress of this man or to seek fate elsewhere.

Love triangles are as old as the world, but now, like hundreds of years ago, women enter into a relationship with married men in the hope that sooner or later the beloved will make a choice in favor of his mistress, leave the family and marry her. Are such hopes justified? Is there a chance for a mistress to become the legal wife of her lover, or is she nothing more than a temporary entertainment for a man?

The attitude of men to mistresses

Despite the assurances of friends and relatives, and the disappointing statistics that more than 80% of men never marry their mistresses, a woman in a forbidden relationship believes that her case is unique, she will be able to win back her beloved from her wife. However, before considering what are the chances that a man will leave his wife and marry his mistress, it is necessary to understand why husbands decide to cheat on their wives and how they treat their mistress. can be divided into three main types:

1. Conditionally free - men whose marriage exists only legally. Such men may be in the process of divorcing their spouse or do not live under the same roof with her, they are seriously planning to divorce. These men, as a rule, honestly tell their mistress about their life situation, and if they have feelings for her, they speed up the process of divorcing their spouse, introduce the new chosen one to their parents, friends, and after receiving a divorce certificate, they may well go to the registry office with their mistress.

2.prudent - men who have a strong family and make connections on the side solely for the sake of entertainment, new sensations. These men immediately inform their mistresses that they are not going to divorce their wife and the mistress cannot count on more than regular meetings. Such men do not have strong feelings for their mistresses, for them a woman on the side is entertainment, a way to have a good time. These men do not limit the freedom of their mistresses, they can give expensive gifts, provide financial support, receiving tenderness, affection, sex in return.

3. Unfortunate - men who tell their mistresses how deeply unlucky they were with their wife, about constant quarrels, scandals with their spouses, and that a mistress is almost the only happiness in their unhappy life. However, to the rational question of a new girlfriend, when he divorces his "terrible" wife, such a man begins to come up with 1000 reasons why he cannot do this right now, but promises to get a divorce as soon as the child finishes school / children grow up / he pays off the mortgage / he will be given a promotion/the Second Coming of Christ will come. In fact, men from this category do not plan to get divorced, because they do not want to change their established life, but they also do not want to lose their mistress, so they come up with excuses and amuse their girlfriend with vain promises.

It is obvious that mistresses of only the first of the above categories of men can seriously expect to change the status of their mistress to a stamp in their passport. However, many men from the third category can also tell their girlfriends that they are about to divorce their spouse, but their words will diverge from the real state of affairs. Therefore, psychologists advise women who are mistresses of married men not to wait for a lover's divorce for more than 1 year. The fact is that in the vast majority of cases, if a new girlfriend intends to be with her, he will file a divorce during the first year of their relationship.

Most men by nature do not like cardinal changes in life, therefore, without serious reasons, they will not dare to leave an established life and a wife with whom they have a warm relationship. In itself, a strong passion for a new girlfriend is not a sufficient reason for a man to divorce his wife, so unfaithful husbands prefer to meet with a new lover in secret, carefully hiding the connection on the side from the family. The reasons why men decide to divorce lie in his relationship with his wife, but not in his mistress, because if a man’s heart is occupied by his wife, there will initially be no place for another woman.

What should a married man's mistress do?

In life, events often do not go as planned, and many women fall in love with married men, become lovers. These women do not always have the strength and endurance to break, so psychologists give some advice to girls who, by the will of their feelings, have become one of the corners of the love triangle. Using the recommendations, a woman will not force a man to divorce and marry her, but she will be able to make her own life better and, over time, painlessly get rid of the relationship with a married man.

1. Pay enough attention to your beloved. Doing what you love, visiting beauty salons, going to the gym, expanding your circle of interests, acquiring new hobbies, etc. - all this will help a woman make her life brighter and more eventful and help her, in her strength, attractiveness.

2. Do not disrupt plans because of a married lover. For example, if a meeting with friends is planned for a woman, and a married lover calls and informs her about his wife’s departure and offers to meet, the mistress needs to go to her friends. Sacrificing plans for the sake of her lover, a woman equates herself in his eyes with almost the level of a domestic dog, resorting to the first call of the owner.

3. Forget about mom's instructions that "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." He has a wife, let her cook for him, wash his clothes, etc. A woman trying to become a lover and nanny for a married man has practically no chance of becoming his wife - he will come to her like in a restaurant, a hotel with full board, to relax and have fun, and then return to everyday life.

4. Stop a married lover talking about his wife. Many men try to "put pressure on pity" and cry in the vest to their mistresses about what bad wives they have. These conversations are empty, their direct goal is a mistress on the part of a man, so if he raises this topic, you should offer to either file for divorce immediately or talk about something more interesting for a woman.

5. Never try to inform your lover's wife of your existence. Many mistresses try to talk to their wife or arrange everything so that she finds out about her husband's relationship on the side and decides to divorce him. However, if the mistress reaches the goal, and the beloved's wife leaves the unfaithful husband, he is unlikely to run to propose to his mistress - it is more likely that he will accuse her of all mortal sins for destroying his well-established life and breaking up his family.

6. Look for your Prince. A woman should initially perceive a married lover as a temporary man, and relations with him as entertainment, and not refuse to get acquainted with other members of the stronger sex. Leading an active life, meeting new people and not focusing on a married friend, a woman will definitely meet her soul mate and find family happiness.