Is it necessary to send a child to a kindergarten: all the pros and cons are the opinion of psychologists. Does a child need a kindergarten: pros and cons, opinions of psychologists

09.05.2019

Every parent has a moment in life when he has to decide whether to take his child to kindergarten.

How many people, so many opinions, therefore, it is very difficult to find the correct answer to the question regarding the need for a kindergarten for a child.

You need to weigh the pros and cons before making decisions and coming to a decision. Let's find out together whether a child needs a kindergarten.

And most importantly - the child adapts to society, learns to interact with different people and work in a group, communicate with peers and adults, in the future it will be much easier for him to get used to the team.

If mom has the ability and desire to independently teach the child, then in this case, it can not be sent to kindergarten.

But it is worth remembering that this is a big responsibility and hard work.

At home for a child it is much more difficult to concentrate. Also, the baby may not walk in kindergarten if a nanny and tutors are hired to teach him.

Now there are many special centers and studios for children in which they are taught and dealt with.

The advantage of such centers is that the child still gets into the team in early age, but he does not need to spend the whole day there, eating and sleeping. He only comes to class.

There are also special children's camps and activities.

Advantages and disadvantages of a preschool educational institution
Does the child need to go to kindergarten? It is only parents who decide whether or not a child should go to kindergarten. it is optional like school.

Therefore, if there is a choice, then you can weigh all the advantages and disadvantages of attending kindergarten and decide what will be best for the child.

Cons of kindergarten:

Kindergarten advantages:

How to teach a child to stand up for himself? will help you!

Opinion of psychologists

Should I send my child to kindergarten? Surprisingly psychologists advise not to send the child to kindergarten rather than to send.

Some believe, regarding socialization, is not the correct opinion that kindergarten helps children to better adapt to society.

Getting into the team at such an early age, the child loses its individuality and inheriting others, it becomes "like everyone else."

Most psychologists believe that before the age of 6, a child needs to maximally strengthen ties with his family and loved ones, because 11 years of school are ahead and communication with relatives will not be so frequent.

Answering the question "does a child need a kindergarten", most psychologists will answer that it's up to parents to decide.

If there is no special need for preschool, there is an opportunity to get an education at home, then you should give preference to the second option.

You just need to visit more often so that children can communicate with each other, go to circles and sections, perhaps to some children's centers and so on.

If the child finds it difficult to adapt, he does not want to go to the garden, and the parents have the opportunity to be at home with him, then there is no need to torment the baby. This will not lead to anything good.

Consequences of not going to kindergarten

What if the child does not go to kindergarten?

How will this affect him?

It used to be believed that if a child did not go to kindergarten, then he it will be more difficult to adapt to life, build relationships at school, etc.

But now it is possible to refute these. Education in a preschool institution does not always carry only positive things. First, it all depends on the child himself.

If he is calm by himself and, no kindergarten for him will not help to become more talkative.

Secondly, if the parents have the opportunity to give the child everything the same as in the kindergarten, but only at home, then you should think about this option. It might be even better.

The main thing is to engage with the child, teach him so that he can do everything that children of his age can do. Allowing him to communicate more with peers and adults is important.

Lack of kindergarten in a child's life will not negatively affect it. It is not an obligatory step in development. Everything that is given in the garden can be obtained at home.

Especially in our time, when there are various development centers, children's rooms, sections and events. Mothers can give the child everything he needs, the main desire.

So does a child need a kindergarten? It is difficult to answer this question unambiguously.

Every parent, teacher and psychologist your opinion on this matter.

It is important to know what the child wants and what he needs at this or that period of his life. If there is an opportunity not to go to kindergarten, then why not use it?

The main thing is that this is not to the detriment of the development of the baby. You need to take care of his education and socialization.

Should I send my child to kindergarten? Psychologist's opinion:

The generation of modern mums and dads for the most part are former kindergarteners. Indeed, in the old days, the question of whether the child would go to kindergarten was not even raised in most families. Parents worked, parental leave was short, and the state provided places in nurseries and kindergartens for all children. Now the situation has changed. Mother women do not always strive to “actively participate in productive work and social life,” as was the case in the USSR. In addition, thanks to the development of psychology in the mass consciousness, the conviction is strengthened in the importance of maintaining the baby's attachment to the mother. Of course, in many families a woman’s going to work when a child turns 3 is dictated by the harsh realities of life, and today's grandmothers do not at all seek to spend all their time with their grandchildren, especially since they did not “sit” and with their own children - they worked. Nevertheless, some parents wonder whether it is worth sending their child to kindergarten, because everyone knows that children there cry in the morning, especially at first, start to get sick, and in general there are more and more opponents of kindergartens around, and probably for a reason.

The debate over whether a child needs a kindergarten is less fierce than the battle over vaccinations. The arguments are serious ... Supporters of kindergarten, of whom the majority so far, assure that without a kindergarten in modern realities, a child will grow up as a social phobia, absolutely unadapted to society, it will be difficult for him at school, he will forever miss the period when he could learn to communicate with people normally. Opponents of kindergartens compare them with orphanages - they say, why did you give birth if you are getting rid of a child who needs a family, and not an "incubator" with strangers? Let's not go to extremes and try to figure out why kindergartens cause so much controversy.

"FOR" kindergarten: the benefits of kindergarten - development, socialization, the first school of life

The arguments for kindergarten sound quite weighty. Here are the main ones:

1) Kindergarten teaches the child to communicate , to establish the first contacts with peers. Man is undoubtedly a social being. Kids from 2-3 years old begin to show an active interest in other children - first they look closely, and then they try to interact. With the help of a kindergarten, it is easiest to organize communication with peers for a child. The baby has his first friends, he learns to react to conflict situations, to act in a team.

2) Kindergartens are equipped with the necessary equipment for the all-round development of the child ... Qualified specialists - teachers, psychologists, speech therapists - take care of the kids and take care of them. Modern education makes serious demands on future first-graders, and it is safer for parents to entrust their child to a professional than to rely on their own strengths. In addition, at home it is sometimes difficult to provide the baby with sufficient space for games, sports and creative activities.

3) Being in kindergarten, the child learns discipline, order, obedience ... "Sadik" children tend to follow the regime more than "home" children. If at home the time for eating or walking can change from day to day, then the rules for kindergarten are strictly regulated, without which a high-quality organization of a children's group is impossible. Many children in a team eat better, and sleep during the day, while at home they have to be persuaded or resigned to non-compliance with the requirements of adults.

4) Kindergarten develops independence ... If at home the kid relies heavily on his mother (dad, grandmother), then in the kindergarten he is deprived of the opportunity to ask his relatives to do something for him. Willy-nilly, the child learns to act independently. Many mothers claim that it was the kindergarten that helped their children master the pot or start talking better.

5) Some diseases are more easily tolerated in childhood. ... A domestic child often has nowhere to get infected with them in order to gain immunity for life.

6) Kindergartens protect modern children from the influence of electronic gadgets ... In kindergarten, children are engaged, walk, provide opportunities for free play, while at home many children spend most of the day watching cartoons and playing games on a tablet. Kindergarten is often the only place where the child is distracted from the screen.

7) By sending the child to kindergarten, the mother has the opportunity to go to work or go about your business. This reason does not apply to the "pluses" of the kindergarten for the child, but indirectly affects him. If the mother in her heart is annoyed with the baby for the fact that he “gets in the way”, “does not allow him to earn money,” “ties his hands,” the baby will undoubtedly feel this. In this case, the child's admission to kindergarten calms the woman and makes her more balanced and friendly towards the child. Of course, it should be said separately about mothers who are unable to stay at home with a child - single mothers, widows, as well as women who are in financial constraints for one reason or another. In this case, the kindergarten becomes the only way out, even if the mother herself wants to be with the baby with all her heart.

"AGAINST" the kindergarten: the harm of the kindergarten - separation from the family, psychological trauma, education of the "screw of the System"

Despite the seemingly unambiguous benefits of the kindergarten, there are also many reasons "against":

1) The need for children's "socialization" is exaggerated ... The child's need for communication with peers certainly exists. But is a closed group of children of the same age the ideal model of society for a small child? Doubtful. The first society for a child is his family, then his family's friends, and only then, with the acquisition of experience and confidence, “strangers”. The kindergarten, in fact, does not allow the baby to move away from loved ones in a natural, non-violent way. A child, usually very young, 2-3 years old, is abruptly immersed in an unfamiliar environment, left depending on a stranger's adult, surrounded by a crowd of children. No one will deny that entering kindergarten is a lot of stress for a baby. In addition, if we talk about socialization, the kindergarten partly takes away the opportunity to communicate with people of different ages, to participate in the life of adults - in real affairs, and not artificially created developmental activities.

2) Kindergarten negatively affects the attachment between mother and child ... There are now a lot of mothers who do not know what to do at home with a child all day long, convinced that he needs constant entertainment ("I am not a teacher or an animator!") And who want to load their beloved child to the maximum with various circles and sections. ... It is hard for women to be near their children, so they are trying to "attach" them somewhere. And children quickly get used to being isolated from the family - not only from their mother, but also, for example, from their younger brothers and sisters. If a child spends most of the day away from home, he undoubtedly learns to be part of a team. But ... the life of the family remains for him something vague and uncertain, which may well "come back to haunt" in the distant future.

3) The need for kindergarten as a stage of preparation for school is questionable ... Organizing developmental activities according to age, in general, is within the power of any mother.

The famous Russian teacher K.D. Ushinsky wrote about kindergartens: “ No matter how rational the activities and games of children are in them, they can have a harmful effect on the child if he spends most of the day in them. No matter how clever the activity or the game that will be learned in kindergarten, but they are already bad because the child has not learned by itself, and the more obtrusive the kindergarten is in this respect, the more harmful they are.<…>Even a noisy society of children, if a child is in it from morning to evening, should act harmful. For a child, completely solitary and independent attempts at children's activities are necessary, not caused by imitation of children or adults.».

4) Parenting allows your child to develop true independence because at home he does not have to obey the imposed rules. Mom helps the baby gradually expand his area of responsibility, deciding what clothes he wants to wear, what to play with, when to go for a walk, what to eat (or refuse to eat). In the kindergarten, the baby only obeys - all decisions are made for him. He quickly gets used to such a model of relations that does not imply equality, the ability to negotiate and seek compromises. As he grows older, a child who has memorized the phrase “elders must be obeyed” will either consider himself deliberately disenfranchised next to adults, or will start protesting against such injustice.

5) Frequent illnesses are an integral part of adaptation to the kindergarten for most kids. Immunity weakens not only due to being in overcrowded conditions, but also due to psychosomatic reasons. The child wants to be at home with his mother instead of going to kindergarten ... and gets sick. “A week in the garden, a month on sick leave” is a typical story that can often be heard among mothers. Is this a necessary "hardening" for immunity? The issue is controversial.

6) Kindergarten does not take into account the needs of an individual child ... The kindergarten regime does not imply variability, it is simply impossible to organize it. Baby's biorhythms change from day to day, as they depend on many factors: health, weather, mood, etc. And in kindergarten, the regime is always the same, and no corrections to it are expected. Forcing us to eat and sleep "on time" can even lead to problems with the nervous system and the digestive tract.

In addition, even the smallest have a certain temperament. For example, fast and impulsive choleric people radically differ in their behavior from calm and unhurried phlegmatic people - and the requirements for both are the same. If the child is constantly urged on or upset, this subsequently results in serious complexes, the feeling “I am not what I should be,” inability to plan time, etc.

7) The child adopts patterns of behavior that are not accepted in the family ... Early childhood is the age when the baby absorbs everything that surrounds him, and accepts it as a norm. If the family does not accept assault, aggression, the use of harsh words, but the child hears and sees such behavior every day in the garden, it becomes the norm for him. You cannot expect a 2-3-4-year-old crumbs of awareness in making decisions: he will either surrender to the strong, or follow his example.

8) Kindergarten destroys individuality ... It is more convenient for a kindergarten teacher if the children behave in about the same way, fulfill the necessary requirements, and obey. In the kindergarten it is "profitable" to be like everyone else, and individuality is not welcomed. It happens that the child is corrected if he wants to stick on the part of the applique in a different way than prescribed by the instructions. In addition, in kindergarten, kids begin to imitate each other, instead of developing freely, focusing primarily on close people.

9) Not all educators love children. ... It's no secret that very different people work in kindergarten, and there are only a few sincere fans of their profession among them. It is very difficult to work with a group of children of the same age, and the human psyche is adaptive, therefore, over the years, educators usually become more and more indifferent and even callous in relation to their wards. No, they may not necessarily be rude or irresponsible, but you should not expect them to be warm to your particular child. If only because it is almost impossible to give the necessary attention, affection and care to each of the 20-30 children.

Does a child need a kindergarten: opinions of psychologists

Gordon Newfeld, Ph.D., founder of his own institute in Canada, author of Don't Miss Your Children, translated into 10 languages, states:

"Premature socialization has always been considered the biggest evil in parenting ... When children are placed together too early before they can be themselves, they become just like everyone else, and it breaks their personality, rather than hones it."

According to Dr. Newfeld, the ability to have healthy relationships with people is laid in a child in the first six years of life.

“This is the foundation of everything,” he says. - By the fifth year of life, if everything is continuous and safe, emotional closeness begins. The child gives his heart to the one to whom he is attached, and this is incredibly important ... The most important thing is to establish strong and deep emotional ties with those who are raising the child. And this should be the focus of our society. If we did that, we would send our children to school later, not earlier. "

Lyudmila Petranovskaya, family psychologist, writer, laureate of the President of the Russian Federation in the field of education, member of the Association of specialists in family organization "Family for a child", in his book "Affection is a secret support" writes:

“If you treat the kindergarten as a service for parents, and not as an institution designed to educate and shape your children, a lot falls into place. Such a lengthy playroom. The store wants you to shop calmly and with pleasure, and the society wants you to work. Is it convenient to leave a child in the playroom when choosing furniture? Of course, if it is fun or at least safe for the child, and you need to have free hands and head. Is it convenient to use the kindergarten? Yes, under the same conditions.

There is no other, higher pedagogical, sense in the story of the kindergarten. And if you don’t need it, or the child really doesn’t want it, or there wasn’t a good enough garden, he won’t lose anything important for development.

Only a very problematic family, in which parents do not take care of their children at all, can give them less than a standard kindergarten.

If socialization means communication with peers, role-playing games with them, then not every kindergarten has many opportunities for this, maybe a playroom in IKEA, a summer cottage or the nearest square with a constant company of walking mothers with children will give your child no less ".

Irina Mlodik, a well-known psychologist and psychotherapist, candidate of psychological sciences, chairman of the Association of Practicing Psychologists "Just Together", writes in her book entitled "A Book for Imperfect Parents, or Life on a Free Topic":

"Kindergarten. There is so much in this sound ... for each of them something of their own. Many wonderful memories, amazing discoveries, negative feelings, psychological traumas and many other things are associated with each heard children's story. For some, the kindergarten was a paradise, where it was exciting, interesting, many friends, toys and adventures. For someone - a series of humiliations, almost concentration camp methods of educators, diseases, shame and longing for mom. For most, kindergarten is a place where they did not really want to go, it was not easy, there were various incidents and difficulties, as well as joyful discoveries and quite funny events. I have neither a sharply negative attitude towards kindergarten, nor a rosy positive one. I know one thing: upon reaching the age of three (plus or minus six months) a child needs a kindergarten. But you're right: a good kindergarten.

<…>When parents ask me the question “Should I send my child to kindergarten or not?” I answer: “It's up to you. In addition, everything depends to a large extent on the kindergarten. From how everything is arranged there and what is the attitude towards children. " And this, of course, is not about silver toys, your own pool and caviar for lunch, this is about a respectful attitude towards the child. "

Vladimir Levy, PhD in Medicine, Soviet and Russian writer, psychotherapist and psychologist, author of books on various aspects of popular psychology, devoted an entire chapter of his book "New Non-Standard Child" to kindergarten:

“... But the very first picture is the worst of all: I am being abandoned. The brother and sister, led away into obscurity, are removed ... The back and half-turned face of the departing mother ...

Everything is alien around, unfamiliar, everything turns gray, blackens, the horror of helpless loneliness, the betrayal of being ...

Now I know that this experience is not extraordinary, not at all unique. Every kid gets such a trauma, for the first time for an indefinite time for him (for a little one and half an hour - almost an eternity), suddenly left in an abruptly alien environment - yes, everyone, even warned in advance ...

A blow, comparable to a nuclear bombing, is inflicted according to the most ancient psychogenetic program of a child, which with almost one hundred percent probability provides for the possibility of his survival in the first years of life only in the environment of OWN people - in the parental family or in a flock of relatives of different ages, small enough and constant enough that all of them, still without looking up from the mother, remember it in person.

This is how Nature has existed for many thousands and millions of years, this is how the history of our species has made us.

For very many children - for me too - the insane horror of being first left becomes the main foundation, the basis of all subsequent neurotic fears, addictions and depression, of all distrust of life and oneself. The abyss, once opened, will not close - it will only be covered with roadside bushes ...<…>

It seems to us, adults, that going to kindergarten for three years, well, a year is not long and not scary. Everything is provided, control is complete ... It does not even seem to us - we know: not so. This is a lie, our self-deception, with which we cover up our guilt before the child ...

The three-year (take on average) kindergarten period of a child's life in terms of its true, internal duration is no less than the ten-eleven-year school period. And much more significant than, say, the time spent in the army or at the institute. In the first years of life, each piece of time contains so many experiences, so much development and obstacles to it, so much memory and mental wounds, so much defenselessness, so much cruel stupidity of adults! .. "

Does the child need to go to kindergarten?

It is probably pointless to search for the truth in the question of the importance and necessity of kindergarten. If only because all the mothers, fathers, grandmothers who discuss this topic are interested people. Few can abstract from their childhood memories and from their own choice as parents. The reality is this: kindergarten is a simple and convenient opportunity to provide a child with a full range of "services" appropriate for his age. Here and communication with children, and developmental activities, and supervised walks, and children's parties. And mom's unloading (or the ability to work). Unfortunately, the conditions of a modern big city are such that the kindergarten seems to be the only possible choice for parents. Although, if desired, if it really exists, it is quite possible to organize home education. And the child at the same time will not lose anything super valuable.

Dear Parents! We wish you to make the right choice for your family regarding kindergarten. You, and only you, answer the question: "Does my child need a kindergarten?" And, of course, you will find arguments in favor of this or that position. The main thing is not to forget about the balance between your desires and the desires of the baby ...

Should I send my child to the kindergarten? Can children be kept at home until school? I studied this issue for a long time, listening to lectures by psychologists, reading books and articles of my authorities, analyzing the experience of my acquaintances ... And I made a clear decision for myself. Perhaps your decision will be different. But I hope that my information about kindergarten - the pros and cons, will help you understand this difficult issue.

On this moment I decided not to send my daughter to kindergarten. She is now 2.5 years old, but I don't even take her to short stay groups. I will not swear, but so far I do not plan to acquaint the children with the kindergarten, I want to leave them at home until school.

How to decide whether to send a child to the kindergarten?

I believe that this decision depends on your lifestyle. From how you imagine your future life. It also depends on the nature of the child, but first of all - on you. Are you planning to go to work? Do you cope with children at home? Are you sociable? Do you like to do something with your child? There are many questions, let's sort everything out in order.

Kindergarten: pros

1. You can go to work. Sometimes this is the main reason. And everything else is already irrelevant. But, as a rule, such women do not study articles “for” and “against” kindergarten on the Internet.

2. If the child is in kindergarten, you can calmly pursue your hobby. Get a driver's license, take some courses, go to the gym ...

3. If you have recently had another child, and you cannot cope with two (or three?) At once ... It is better to send the elder to kindergarten than to freak out and sink into depression.

4. In kindergarten, the baby will receive more emotions. In addition, if your child is very mobile and restless, it will be easier for him to throw out his energy in the garden.

5. Caregivers will constantly develop your baby. Songs, dances, crafts ... Group games ... A lot of communication ... In such institutions, children learn something new faster.

6. It may be easier for the child to adapt to school. Perhaps, but not a fact.

Why am I not sending my child to kindergarten?

I will not write a standard set of points against kindergarten. Everyone has different conditions. Something will be close to you, but something will not. It would be more honest to tell why I personally made such a decision for myself.

1. Personally, I think it is important in what atmosphere the child will grow up. What will see around him. What kind of people will surround him? Before school is a very important stage in children's development, in which the basic principles, the basic idea of life are laid. Of course, there is no guarantee that the child will not turn off to the side, start drinking, smoking, etc. But why not try to do our best? Not everyone can boast of a good atmosphere at home. But thank God, I am calm for our family. My husband is a very spiritual person, we both work hard on ourselves and strive to be a worthy example for children. An ordinary kindergarten, if there is no religious orientation, cannot create such a peaceful, blissful atmosphere in itself. I think that in many houses the furnishings are good enough, but not everyone attaches importance to this.

2. Many teachers and psychologists say that up to 5 years old a baby needs a lot of love. A lot of hugs, warmth, attention. The teacher will not be able to give this. First, there are many children in the group. Secondly, the teacher is not a mother. At home, I can hug my daughter at every opportunity. And I try to do it more often.

3. It is not difficult for me to have two children at home. That's why I decided that the eldest daughter would not be bored. And I am ready to devote a lot of time to children.

4. We very often go to visit our like-minded friends. There my daughter plays with other children. In addition, I actively communicate with other mothers in the playgrounds, I find a company for my child. We certainly have no shortage of communication.

5. In a year we will start going to circles for group lessons. Or later. But now it is too early.

6. In kindergarten, the child does not see home life. Doesn't see how my mother prepares dinner at home, cleans up. The kid does not get involved in household chores. And in my opinion, participation in household chores is much more important than kindergarten "". Especially for a girl.

7. In the garden, the child receives many new emotions. But there is also a minus in this: it is then difficult for the baby to occupy himself at home. Of course, this is not always the case.

8. Ours are not the same as kindergarten meals. They rarely provide fresh fruits and vegetables, but they often provide meat with a simple side dish.

9. I am interested in raising children. Moreover, I understand that this is my motherly duty, my service (""). Therefore, I do not want to shift this responsibility to others.

There are many materials about kindergarten, a lot of pros and cons, but the decision is up to you. Based on your living conditions, your principles and desires. I also recommend reading the notes "" and "". Perhaps this will affect your attitude towards life with children.

Many modern mothers are in a hurry to go to work and kindergarten for their babies is inevitable. In the same families where there is someone to look after the child, the issue of the preschool institution is resolved in different ways. Some adults remember their own negative experiences and refuse to register their son or daughter in kindergarten, while others, on the contrary, believe that socialization is necessary, and life in a team will prepare the baby for school in the best way.

Which position is correct? Should I take my child to kindergarten? It is worth understanding these issues in more detail. We will consider the pros and cons of an ordinary kindergarten, the issue of preparing for school, and also give the opinions of experts.

If a mother or another relative has the opportunity to be at home with a child, then the issue of kindergarten is resolved in different ways.

Pros of attending a preschool

There are many arguments that adherents of the kindergarten usually give. We will list the main ones:

The main and most obvious plus of attending a preschool is the ability to communicate with peers. A child in a team to learn to communicate, hones his communication skills. At the age of two, kids begin to take an interest in their peers and learn to play together. Arguments and quarrels educate children in the ability to compromise, admit their guilt and find true friends.
In the collective, the baby's immunity is subjected to a powerful attack, which trains him and makes him stronger. Kids 2-5 years old often infect each other with infectious diseases. Pediatricians believe that it is better to get sick with infectious diseases in childhood in order to earn immunity to them. Chickenpox, mumps and rubella are much more easily tolerated in preschool age and rarely cause complications.
Any institution for children must meet the basic parameters: have enough space for games, it must have a room equipped for sleeping. Children study, dance and sing, teachers, speech therapists work with them, there is a full-time psychologist. In addition, there is a preparation program for school, which takes into account all the nuances.
The garden helps its pupil to become autonomous. Often, it is here, away from mom, that you have to learn how to dress yourself, go to the pot on time, eat with a spoon and use a towel (we recommend reading :). There is only one teacher and there is no need to expect care from him akin to the one that the baby sees at home. The word "want" or "give" is no longer so often heard from the lips of my mother's pet. This means that you need to learn how to do many things on your own.

In kindergarten, the child becomes part of the team, learns to be friends and communicate

What else is an undoubted advantage?

This article tells about typical ways of solving your questions, but each case is unique! If you want to know from me how to solve your particular problem - ask your question. It's fast and free!

Above, we have listed the most obvious advantages of a standard kindergarten. There are also less noticeable things that any parent of a "kindergarten" child can realize:

Children get used to the regimen, which is good for their health and general development. In addition, teachers require kids to adhere to the rules of behavior in a team. Thanks to the regime and the constant example of classmates, children, surrounded by their peers, eat and sleep better, and also dress faster for a walk. Usually a kindergarten child is more disciplined than one growing up under the supervision of a mother or a babysitter.
Modern children already at the age of 2-3 years spend a lot of time in the virtual world or watching cartoons. It is in a group of peers under the supervision of a teacher that a small person is reliably protected from computers, tablets, smartphones. Children spend the whole day according to the schedule: instead of cartoons - drawing or modeling from plasticine, instead of computer games or the Internet - preparing for the matinee.
A good preschool for a son or daughter will allow a mother to go to work and improve her material well-being. In addition, some women need to realize themselves in a team, move up the career ladder, which makes it possible to feel their need not only at home, but also at work. A financially secure mother, confident in her abilities, will not be annoyed over trifles, but will be able to give the baby her love in full.

In kindergarten, a child will definitely not spend his days at a computer or tablet - there are many exciting activities for him.

Cons of kindergarten

Some mothers say: “I don’t want to send my child to kindergarten, I’m afraid that he will not be given enough attention there!”. This is partly true, every day visiting such an institution is fraught with a number of difficulties and many see many disadvantages in it. Here are some of the most obvious ones:

A peer group is not always the best environment for a little person. The ability to communicate, find compromises and even make friends can be perfectly honed at home with adults, on the playground. In addition, the child can attend various children's activities - circles or sections. In the kindergarten, some pressure from educators, demands to “be like everyone else,” the presence of leaders in the team is often possible. If the baby is brought up at home, he will avoid the stress that will certainly arise in a new environment, among unfamiliar children and strict educators. He will learn a lot by observing and participating in the current events of his family, instead of replacing real situations with play ones.
Even the most progressive preschool institution separates the child from the family, teaches them not to feel too deeply attached to their parents. Today, many mums and dads do not know how to communicate with their child and spend time with their family. It's all because of the persistent belief that children should be constantly distracted, looking for entertainment for them. Any child will be able to play independently for a fairly long period, being near the mother. Sometimes it is enough to play with the baby for a short time so that for the next half hour he will find something to do, completely satisfied with the communication with his mother.
Independence in a children's institution is very conditional. Pupils obey strict rules that do not allow them to prove themselves. For the educator, the main advantage of every kid is the ability to obey and act within the outlined framework. Mom prepares her daughter or son for adult life, responsive to his achievements, each time giving him more and more freedom.

The opportunity to spend time with parents for a child is invaluable, and a visit to the kindergarten reduces these hours and minutes

Caring for mental and physiological health is the task of parents

When giving a daughter or son to the garden, many do not think about how this will affect his health. Here we are talking about both physical and psychological aspects. I would like to note that the disadvantages significantly outweigh the possible advantages:

Famous pediatrician Dr. Komarovsky believes that a child will have healthy respiratory and cardiovascular systems if he spends enough time outdoors. In this case, it is not at all necessary to go through the stage of a series of diseases. Frequent colds and infectious diseases, which are inevitable in a large children's team, do not always have a beneficial effect on the immunity and general condition of a preschooler. Each disease is fraught with complications, and regular dropouts from the life of the team do not allow the child to comfortably adapt to his group.
In a child care institution, discipline is paramount. It is difficult for different pupils to adapt to the routine for everyone. Active babies find it difficult to fall asleep in the allotted time, because they do not have time to calm down before bed. It is difficult for them to wake up "on a call". As a result, they are deprived of proper rest. Each baby has its own biorhythms, according to which it is best to organize activities, sleep or active games. These mismatches can have a negative impact on your overall health.
Sometimes caregivers are quite rude and require children to immediately fulfill their requirements. Not a very good teacher, not wanting to understand children's conflicts, often punishes everyone who does not obey. An impressionable toddler can be stressed and even mentally traumatized if unjustly punished.
Children tend to adopt the behavior of others, and not just adults. In a team, you can get a bad example of behavior, learn to fight or use foul language - quarrels and fights are possible among peers. No mother or caregiver can protect an obedient child from the influence of aggressive children, unless they violate discipline too rudely.

Is preparation for school a mandatory part of the program?

What is considered good preparation for school? A preschooler's ability to read, print and count on sticks? It turns out that these skills will not be superfluous when entering school, but they are not required. The main thing that school teachers are guided by is the ability to learn: listen, assimilate information, and also have developed logical thinking.

You need to think about whether you need to take a preschooler to kindergarten for the sake of quality preparation for school:

There is no special program in the kindergarten that is designed to direct the development of the future student in the right direction. In order to develop logic, it is necessary to solve special problems with the child, ask him to argue for one or another of his decisions. It is also advisable to develop his general outlook and encourage the desire to know the world - all this is best done on an individual basis.
Especially collective preschool education is not suitable for children with a pronounced personality. Educators instill in pupils the idea that they need to be like everyone else and not stand out. During creative activities, children are instructed to make applications or sculpt figures according to a template, draw on the stated theme. If a child likes to fantasize and invent his own games, unusual ways of creating paintings, applications, it will not be easy for him in such conditions. For him, the result of the lessons may turn out to be zero.
Often in a children's public institution, the school preparation program is somewhat outdated. Every year the requirements for entering the first grade change, it is better to prepare the future student in accordance with the new requests of teachers.

As you can see, there is no need to visit the kindergarten solely to prepare for school. Mom can work with her preschooler herself, or take him to classes a couple of times a week. In a preschool institution, they devote very little time to lessons and do not practice an individual approach to each preschooler.

In order for a child to easily join the ranks of schoolchildren, preparation must take into account his individual characteristics.

What do the experts say?

Parents must independently decide whether a kindergarten is needed for their son or daughter, says teacher and psychologist Anna Besinger. In order for the decision to be weighed, it is advisable to sensibly assess all the advantages and disadvantages of a preschool institution. For those who decide to arrange their baby in the garden, it is important to think about how to make it easier for the child to adapt to new conditions. It's great if the baby knows how to eat on his own, use the potty, dress, can communicate with peers (we recommend reading :). Those families that are going through a divorce, have recently moved, have replenished with a newborn brother or sister, it is better to postpone the kindergarten. The child at this moment is going through a period of adaptation to new conditions and the kindergarten will become another factor that can cause stress.

According to Lyudmila Petranovskaya, a well-known family psychologist, writer, member of the Family Organization Association "Family for a Child", it is advisable to immediately determine the status of a kindergarten. If you perceive it as just a place where you can safely leave your child while the parents are at work, the garden turns into a necessary, convenient and inexpensive service. If you make excessive demands on this institution and expect that it will prepare your child qualitatively for school and pay a lot of attention to his development, you can get a negative result. Those parents who need to free up time for work in kindergarten may well leave the baby without worrying about his safety and entertainment. Moms and dads who are ready to be with their child, communicate with him, play - they can do without a kindergarten.

Psychologist and psychotherapist, candidate of psychological sciences Irina Mlodik adheres to a different position. Every adult who visited the garden as a child has memories of it - some have pleasant, cheerful, some - not very much, says Irina. Despite such opposite opinions, a kindergarten - necessarily a good one - is necessary for a child who has reached 3 years of age.

The ideal option is to completely abstract from the impressions that the kindergarten left with the parents in their childhood. You should also take into account the personality of the child, his hobbies and inclinations.

The decision is yours

As you can see, not all specialists adhere to the same point of view. Some believe that home education is more even, calm and, with the right approach, allows you to identify and nurture individuality in a child, the ability to express your thoughts. Others strongly recommend that parents think about the socialization of the baby and be sure to find him a good teacher.

It is impossible to give a clear and unambiguous answer to the question whether your child needs a kindergarten. All parents are different and each of them has their own experience of visiting the garden. This experience will surely become one of the weighty arguments in favor of making a decision "for" or "against". However, sometimes it is worth giving up your own impressions in order to make an informed decision. In reality, a garden is a good way to arrange a child while the mother is busy. While the baby is attending the group, you do not have to worry about his leisure time, regular meals and sleep. If the parents can look after the child on their own, it is possible to organize creative and developmental activities for him at home. Loving parents are able to give their baby a decent upbringing, as well as provide him with full and regular communication with peers.

Summary: Benefits of kindergarten. Should I send my child to kindergarten, if so, at what age? How to choose a good kindergarten?

Should the child attend kindergarten? The main advantage of the kindergarten is the ability of the child to communicate with peers. In games with children of their own age, the foundations of interaction with people are laid, the skills to act together, to understand other people, to help and sympathize with their neighbors are developed.

All these skills will certainly be useful to the child in the future. In addition, they form the main character traits, life values, interests, attitude towards oneself and towards people, in other words, set the direction for the child's personal development.

The fact that the foundations of the human personality are laid precisely in the first 5-6 years of life is recognized by most teachers and psychologists. Let us recall the phrase by L.N. Tolstoy: "From a five-year-old child to me is only a step. And from a newborn to a five-year-old is a terrible distance. From an embryo to a newborn is an abyss."

The richest opportunities for upbringing a preschool child are embodied in a comprehensive program of kindergarten work - for the development and education of the child. But even taking into account all the advantages of a preschool institution, a child's visit to a kindergarten often raises many questions, and sometimes even problems, as a rule, of a psychological nature.

When is the best time to send a child to kindergarten? What is the reason for his persistent reluctance to attend kindergarten? Why did the child often get sick from the moment he entered kindergarten? How can you help your child get used to the new conditions of the kindergarten? - these are the questions that parents and educators most often ask themselves and psychologists.

Should I send my child to kindergarten?

First of all, it is important for parents to remember that home education is much preferable to raising a child in kindergarten: it is good when he receives the first knowledge and instructions from his mother. No matter how good a kindergarten is, it can never replace a child's family.

It so happens that parents send their child to kindergarten only in order to temporarily free themselves from worries about him. And here it is important to know: the baby will certainly feel this, understand, and then the benefits of his stay in the kindergarten will be minimized. You should also not send your child to kindergarten just to learn how to wash there, use the toilet, eat, dress and undress, etc. If he has to learn anything in kindergarten, it is playing and communicating with peers. And another important point: do not send the baby to kindergarten immediately after the birth of the second child, otherwise the elder will perceive it as a betrayal, exile. He may become jealous of the newborn.

At what age is it better to send a child to kindergarten?

Up to 2-3 years old, the child does not feel the need to communicate with peers, but during this period, attachment to the mother and loved ones is strongly manifested. Therefore, if any normal, and even more so, emotionally sensitive child is sent to a nursery up to 3 years old, then he will sharply react to separation from his mother, cry and yearn.

According to psychologists who have studied this problem in detail (A.I. Zakharov, A. Fromm), a child should be sent to a children's institution when he turns 3 years old, if it is a girl, and 3.5 years old, if it is a boy. Fortunately, this is also taken into account by Russian legislation, which established mothers with a period of up to 3 years of caring for a child.

How to choose a good kindergarten?

It is very important how your child will feel there. Therefore, when you are choosing a kindergarten, pay attention not to the external decoration of the interior and ultra-modern equipment, but to the children and educators who work with them. Come to kindergarten and observe the children: are they happy, are they cheerful, do they like it there? Alan Fromm writes: “A good kindergarten is a very noisy place.

How can you help your child get used to the new conditions of the kindergarten?

The thought of kindergarten, the need to attend it, the child must be prepared in advance. Tell him about kindergarten, take him there so that he can imagine what it is. About a month after he starts going there, give your child more independence.

Don't turn this event into a problem, don't talk about it every day. It is necessary to introduce the child into a new situation gradually. In the early days, spend some time with him in kindergarten, do not leave right away. And when parting, be sure to say that you will return for him. As a rule, many children get used to the new environment after a few days. The average adaptation period to kindergarten, according to experts, is 7-10 days at the nursery age, 2-3 weeks at 3 years old, and 1 month at the older preschool age. In short, the older the child is, the longer it takes to get used to new conditions.

"Not kindergarten children."

The peculiarities of a child's habituation to a new environment depend on many factors: on the type of the nervous system and state of health, personality traits, family atmosphere, conditions of stay in kindergarten. The greatest difficulties in adaptation are experienced by children with poor health, quickly tired of noise, having difficulty falling asleep during the day, and having a poor appetite.

It is hard to get used to kindergarten, the only ones in the family and later children, overly patronized, children who have a highly developed emotional connection with their mother, accustomed to exceptional attention, lacking self-care skills, insecure, defenseless, anxious. In kindergarten, such children feel unhappy, are in a state of nervous stress. This condition weakens the body's defenses, and the child starts to get sick often. In older preschool age, poorly adapted children may even develop nervous symptoms in the form of nail biting, tics, and stuttering.

The type of temperament of the child also affects this. It has been noticed that sanguine and choleric people quickly and easily get used to the new conditions. But phlegmatic and melancholic people have a hard time. They are slow and therefore do not keep pace with the pace of kindergarten life: they cannot quickly get dressed, get ready for a walk, eat, complete a task. They are often urged on, spurred on (and not only in the kindergarten, but at home too), not giving them the opportunity to be themselves.

It should be noted that many children still cannot get used to kindergarten. Alarming signals for parents talking about the emotional distress of the child, that he suffers greatly in kindergarten, that it is hard to endure parting with his mother, are a persistent unwillingness to attend kindergarten, crying, moods in the morning, frequent illnesses, poor appetite, restless sleep ...

In order to preserve the physical and mental health of the child, it is necessary to return him to the conditions of home education, where, next to a kind, loving and understanding mother, the little person will regain peace and confidence, feel protected and happy. Do not forget that the presence of the child in the family, with the mother is the most natural and favorable condition for his development.