Despite the complexity and philosophical nature of the above questions, which over time have become almost rhetorical, the answers to them are quite simple. But the whole difficulty lies precisely in the fact that you need to apply in life what is given in the answers. Not just know, but ACCEPT.

As, however, any changes that we decide to make in life, begin with a desire, then there is a decision, and then, in fact, action. It is not enough to want, it is not enough to decide, you need to DO. And this is the main secret of any undertaking.

Independent long-term studies have been carried out in many countries and at different periods of time. And they all showed one irrefutable fact - all successful people who have achieved success in different areas of life - in relationships, in a professional field, in personal development, etc., are distinguished from ordinary people by the fact that they ACTION. I will repeat and highlight this again. Because there are simply no other secrets to success.

And since I want to devote this article to achieving success in family life, it is very important to apply all the recommendations that you hear in it on personal experience.

I do not like to write about the experience of my family relationships, this topic is too intimate for me and should always remain within the family. But I just want to note that what I will write about today I have already applied in my life. And the results exceeded all my expectations. A strong family, a strong marriage, warm relationships, no quarrels, the development of the inner life of the family, the building up of deep ties with my husband, gifts (which have not been there for a long time), peace, harmony and happiness - these are the advantages that I personally received from what I introduced into your life, those things that will be discussed below.

How does family happiness begin?

Family happiness starts with ... a woman. If you noticed, I always write about it, I always emphasize it. The man also has his own role, his own work to strengthen relationships and create happiness in the family. But since it is rather difficult to encourage others to change or force something to do, and it is much easier to teach and change oneself, then building personal and family happiness we start with ourselves. And it is simply necessary to recognize the fact that the main force in preserving the family is carried by the woman.

A happy family is not fate or luck, but a constant, deep, inner work of two loving people

Faith in husband

Well, you got married. They chose the best man in the world. You believe it. And this faith contains a huge portion of happiness. Do everything to carry this faith throughout your family life. Because if you even for a little while admit thoughts that you could find better, then from that moment your happiness will begin to collapse.

If you do not believe that you could be happy with this person, then you will not have happiness in your family. I talked a lot about the psychophysical nature of women in the article. So this psychophysical nature plays a decisive role in family life. If a woman at the energetic level (in thoughts) will allow more happy marriage with another person, it will be difficult for her to build a deep relationship with the person she married.

In this case, the strength of the family and the secret family happiness will lie in the plane of the woman's thoughts and her deep belief that the man she chose as her husband and with whom she now lives is the very man with whom she can build her happiness. If this faith is not there, then there will be no happiness in the family. By the way, this same belief is the basis of any positive changes both in the personality of the husband and in family life. Faith is the power that opens the way to a man's heart. And this faith should only come from a woman.

And vice versa, the trigger for the destruction of the family is the woman's state and her thoughts that with this person I cannot be happy and in general I have chosen not the best option for myself. The answer to such thoughts will be the husband's anger, the manifestation of not the best traits of his character, nervousness, failure in business. And, as a rule, few people associate such behavior with the mood of the wife.

If you allow thoughts of another man, you are not faithful to your husband. And loyalty is the strength that builds relationships. “This is my only person with whom I have connected my life and I don’t need another” - these are the right moods of my wife, which will provide her happiness in marriage.

Purity in conduct

Second power happy marriage Is the purity of a woman's behavior. Let's return to the biblical immortal virtues that were defined several thousand years ago and are actually not accepted by modern society. I think if you are one of those who deny them, then further reading the article will be uninteresting and useless for you. This article is for those women who really want to be happy, build strong and happy relationship and who is ready to receive knowledge and work on themselves.

So, purity in behavior. What is meant by this? It's not just the absence of physical betrayal. But also the exclusion of flirting. If a woman smiles in a friendly way while greeting another man at a meeting - this is one smile, and if she smiles and at the same time internally tries to please him and wants it - then this is another smile. Flirting is sex on a subtle level. This is what ancient knowledge says.

The flirting assumption proceeds from the first rule - if a woman admits the idea that she could be happier with another man, then she subconsciously or consciously will look for this best option in every man she meets.

And if a woman has accepted and recognized her husband as the best man in the world, then she will not even want to flirt with other men, she will not see the point in this. And the desire will not arise. When we smile sweetly (every woman knows what kind of smile I’m talking about now) and flirt with other men, then in this way we to some extent share family energy and family happiness with this man, thereby wasting power.

Chastity directly quantifies happiness in the family ... Chastity means not looking softly and affectionately at other men, not smiling at them, and even more so not starting a relationship with them. Moreover, it is important to note the fact that the woman does not lose anything. She does not deprive herself of anything, devoting her life to only one man. Because loyalty will allow her to deepen her relationship with her husband. And as a result, she will receive much more love, happiness and other privileges that will come as a result of chastity.

A man will feel and understand that his wife is reliable, he will trust her, he will see and feel her impeccable behavior and will be grateful to her for this. Such a family will be treated with respect, feeling its strength and influence.

What Happens During Cheating? The mechanism of jealousy is easy to explain from a psychological point of view. When a man and a woman are happy with each other, then between them psychic force begins to gather and accumulate - the energy of happiness. When a wife, for example, begins to cheat on her husband, the energy of happiness begins to divide into everyone, and for a married couple it decreases. The husband begins to feel this, and anxiety begins to grow inside him, which is called jealousy. So, even before everything opens, the family begins to lose its strength, and with it its happiness.

Understanding your role in the family

Third force happy family is that everyone should understand their place in the family and their role. 80% of a man's happiness lies outside the family - in public affairs. And it is important to accept this as a fact. For women, the opposite is true: 80% of our happiness lies in the family. This is not easy for modern women to admit. But this is also a fact.

When we oppose work to family, we make another man happy - our boss or business partner, companion, etc. And when we stay in the family, we use all our strength to cultivate happiness in the family and to make our husbands happy.

This does not mean that we should not work or engage in social activities. We can work and do what we like, but just enough so that there is enough time for the family, for building and deepening relationships, for building the inner life of the family and raising children.

A woman should not work from the position of earning a living. If you disagree with me, it means that you have not yet come to this understanding. This realization came to me so clearly that I can hardly think otherwise. And it came at the moment when I became a wife, and later a mother, and plunged into the cycle of affairs and responsibilities associated with family life.

Before marriage, I enjoyed my job, earning money and building my career. Having started a family, I naturally changed my views and priorities. I suddenly realized that home, family, household, raising children, building relationships (not only with my household members, but also with relatives, as well as with neighbors and people around the family), networking, creating family traditions and rituals, etc. - this is work. Huge, fulfilling work. If I have the time and desire, then I do something else that brings me pleasure - for example, maintaining this blog and communicating with readers.

I came to the understanding that a woman can work, but only if she wants or will have time for it. But not in order to earn a living. This understanding releases tremendous strength and additional energy in a woman, which she can use for other useful things besides family, for example, creating projects or giving birth to new ideas.

And what to do in the case of a small income of the husband, you ask, or in situations when the husband does not work at all? Here we move on to another force that every woman must learn to discover, cultivate and accumulate to herself. This is the power of love. Yes Yes! That's how commonplace it is. But not that erotic love, because of which many create relationships and families, deeply believing that here it is ... that very ... true love. Not. And now I'm talking about love - service. In general, to love is a verb, and its synonym is to serve.

To love \u003d serve

It is known that in the entire Universe there is no more power than the power of love. Love is energy. And she is capable of performing miracles. So a woman's strength lies in her ability to love. To love means:

• care
• inspire
• look after
• feed
• respect
• listen
• to honor
• be faithful

If a woman understands the true meaning of love, then she is “doomed” to happiness. It will be easy for such a woman to inspire her husband for the exploits, who, as a result of this love, will begin to bring money into the house, constantly increasing the well-being of the family.

If you inspire your husband to exploits, which is actually a woman's duty, then sooner or later your husband will reach heights in his affairs, both material (big earnings) and spiritual (recognition). To do this, you just have to constantly tell your husband that everything is fine with him, that everything is working out for him, that he is talented, that he is doing everything right. A husband and wife have a very strong and deep spiritual connection, so the husband believes his wife at this moment, enthusiasm appears in him, his confidence grows; confidence is followed by decisive action; and after the actions are the results. This is how the chain goes family happiness.

If you dream that your husband will be successful in public affairs (at work, in business, in any activity) and bring home a lot of money, then everything is in your hands. This is very easy to learn. Look again (above) what love is. If you fill a man with this love, then he will start earning more so that you do not have to work at all.

Reasonableness of a woman

Next power harmonious family relationships Is the rationality of a woman. This is when all family and interpersonal issues are resolved without disputes, bickering and disagreements. When the wife is able to achieve her goal through consent, affectionate communication and obedience. If a wife learns not to contradict her husband, but to initially agree with him in everything, showing her humility and obedience, then such a wife will always get what she wants. But only in a different, more reasonable way than reproaches, insults or manipulation. In such a house there will always be peace and tranquility, which, you see, is not enough.

The psychology here is simple: a man, by nature, is strong in spirit and body. And so he cannot fight the weak. He will cease to respect himself. When a woman shows weakness and obedience, he cannot fight it, he cannot resist. And he always agrees. And when a woman starts "pumping the muscles" of her unreasonableness - screaming, yelling, contradicting, climbing with fists, then the beast begins to wake up in the man, and then the relationship reaches the level of scuffle and assault or constant quarrels and clarifications.

Any wife should understand that two things make a man happy - when he is respected and when he is listened to. If this happens in the family, then for him it will mean one thing - he is loved here. And for people who treat him this way (wife, children), he will be ready to move mountains.

Therefore, I repeat, the strength family happiness - in the rationality of a woman.

Building up experience

The next power to help build strong marriage and happy relationship Is the acquisition of knowledge. Previously, their mothers and grandmothers passed on the experience of family life to young girls and shared their secrets, experiences and best practices. Now all this knowledge is forgotten and for many has lost its relevance.

The wisdom of this experience can be useful to any girl, no matter what state she is in - just about to get married, already married, in a happy marriage, in an unhappy marriage. In any situation, you can at least try to fix the situation and change everything for the better. But change requires knowledge.

So constant training on how to behave in marriage, how to behave with your husband, how to raise and build relationships with children, how to take your role in family life, will help build strong relationships and create happy family.

If a woman does not study these issues, then it will be difficult for her to understand the cause of many failures and she will not know how to act correctly. And acquiring knowledge will accumulate experience in it, which is much more important than obtaining, say, an economic education or any other. Experience will help her build harmonious and deep relationships with household members and relatives. Experience will help you quickly identify a problem, react to it, and solve it.

Openness to husband

The next strength of strong family ties is openness to your husband. It is very important for a woman to learn how to communicate openly with her husband and tell him everything that is happening in her life. Not with a friend to share this, but with a husband. This will help strengthen the relationship and deepen it. And this is the best prevention of betrayal and divorce. Everything that lies in your heart - ideas, thoughts, fears, doubts, it is necessary to devote your husband to all this.

It should be noted that a man should not share with his wife what is in his heart. This is a sign of weakness. Imagine that your husband comes home from work and starts talking about his worries (whining), discussing what someone said or did, how someone was dressed (gossiping), and how his day went. A real man shouldn't even pay attention to all these things. He must be above all this.

Do not wash dirty linen in public

Another rule that must be observed in order to build a happy and harmonious family is never to wash dirty linen in public. For some reason, in our time, it is customary to share the details of family life with friends, relatives or even a psychologist, revealing all the nuances of family life. This is a big mistake. Everything that the family lives with must remain within the family. This will help cultivate strength in the family. And if you endure family happiness outside the family, then this force will gradually diminish, bringing quarrels and quarrels to the family.

Keep the strength of your family in your hands. You can say a word with family and friends that everything is fine with you, that things are fine. And that's it! Nobody else needs to know anything. Your family is your fortress. Guard her!

Mutual respect

It is very important in the family to develop respect for each other. The whole strength of the family is built on mutual respect. This is the necessary foundation on which happiness is built. If the spouses respect each other, then the children will respect them. Moreover, it should be noted that respect is closely related to loyalty. If a wife respects her husband, she will never allow herself to smile sweetly, like a woman at another man. And if he doesn’t respect, then he will. When mutual respect melts, happiness gradually disappears along with it. The feeling of respect in oneself for another person (in particular, for a husband) must be consciously cultivated and developed. For family happiness is at stake.

I am perfectly aware that everything that is written in this article is not easy to understand and accept, and even more difficult to apply in life. It is much easier for us to go on diets, to starve, to lift weights in gyms, than to obey our husband or stop comparing him to others. Applying all this knowledge requires a lot of inner work. But it is very easy to find motivation for yourself here, just decide once and for all - do you want to be happy and build a happy marriage? If so, then you will find the strength to at least try to follow these recommendations.

It is important to remember that happiness outside of us appears only when it appears within us. Thanks to the subtle energy that women possess, we are able to make whole revolutions. But first, let's make a revolution in our minds in order to change our life and the lives of people close to us for the better.

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The main purpose of a person is to be happy. Happiness is something worth fighting for, something worth striving for, and with something to live with. After all, you can dissolve in happiness. Great things were done with an inner feeling of happiness.

Family life - this is a work that lies mostly on women's shoulders. Women's intuition and wisdom can make a marriage long and happy.

Secrets of family happiness

1. A charming smile transforms a person. And how nice it is for a man to see his wife smiling and happy. Give your man your smile more often.
2. Be a support for your husband, let him not doubt your loyalty and loyalty to him. May you be his support in difficult situations, because now you are one whole - you are a family.

3. 

   A woman should be weaker than her husband, there is no need to fight for power in the house. Give in, be wiser and let your spouse feel like a real man and master in the house. Believe me, you will only benefit from this.
4. "Do not wash dirty linen in public." Learn to solve your family problems and troubles with your family. And God forbid you, at the first quarrel, run with suitcases to your parents. Save your parental nerves! And decide for yourself once and for all that if the suitcases are packed, then this is really the final and irrevocable decision. Do not raise your voice at your husband, especially in the presence of children and do not let your husband shout at you either. If there is a quarrel, cool it down, think it over and talk. This will be the best solution for your family. Indeed, often the advice of a neighbor Klavdia Vasilievna or an unmarried girlfriend Natasha can do you a "disservice". Keep your family secrets and values \u200b\u200bsafe.
5. Don't try to change a man. Find in him only the positive aspects, and try to reconcile with the negative aspects of his personality or learn to ignore them.
6. Do not find fault with your husband, try not to stir up quarrels, even if you are right. Sometimes it is better to give in and step aside, and then calmly discuss the situation. You are unlikely to achieve your goal with shouts and reproaches. But if you surround a man with tenderness and affection, believe me, he will get a star from the sky for you.
7. Never compare your man with others, do not set anyone as an example for him. He and only he - your man - the best, perfect and wonderful. Let him and you know it.
8. Trust is the key to your family happiness. Where there is trust, there is no place for pathological jealousy. You can sometimes show jealousy a little, so that the man feels that you are not indifferent to who he communicates with and where the communication takes place. But do not throw tantrums just after seeing the sight of the slender beauty's husband accompanying him.
9. Keep him in good shape. In order for you to succeed, you must first of all remember that you are a woman and you must ! Let your husband see you always fit, beautiful, well-dressed, neat and fragrant. We have already mentioned a smile and a good mood.
10. Praise and thank your man. Then he will want to do even more for you. Trust me, gratitude works wonders sometimes. And praise has an invigorating effect on a man and raises his fighting spirit.
11. 
    

    

    It is very important in life to look not at each other, but in one direction. When getting married, you have to weigh well, are you worthy of one one? You should have common interests and topics of conversation. Take an interest in what your man likes and loves. One woman got married and seemed to be absolutely happy, but with her husband they had completely different outlooks on life. He wanted to travel and go to the cinema, she loved to stay at home and play computer games. Now he travels a lot and can often be seen in the cinema, only he is accompanied by a completely different woman. And there are a lot of such stories.

12. If your husband is not in the mood or has offended you with a word, try to understand him. Perhaps now he has problems at work, with health, or he is just tired. A man is extremely badly affected by a poor financial situation in the family. And if you have just such a situation now, understand and support your husband in every possible way. And then your patience will pay off with a torus.
13. Always gladly greet your husband from work, let him know that you missed him and were waiting for him. Especially if, due to the nature of his activity, he has to go on business trips or stay late at work.
14. Keep order and comfort in the house. Periodically rearrange, decorate the house with decorations and flowers. Avoid dullness and monotony.
15. A woman, above all a personality. In addition to family and everyday life, find a favorite activity or hobby for yourself, achieve success. And your husband will support you and be happy for you.
16. It is in your power to make sure that over the years your love only multiplies and flourishes! Safely keep your relationship, saturate them with positive emotions and tenderness. Let the romance of the first meetings not leave your home even after 20 years of marriage. Arrange romantic surprises, walk together more often, go to the cinema, go out into nature. Such minutes relieve stress, everyday vanity and give a lot of positive energy for great accomplishments.

These are not complicatedsecrets of family happiness ... Try, maybe they will help you establish peace and harmony in your family.House of Soviets wishes that respect, mutual understanding and love are always in abundance in your family.

It can be very difficult to create a happy, family life at times. Although it is not difficult to start a family, get married or get married, have a child or even more than one and you are ready, a family is like a family. But not everything is as simple as it seems.

Let's just try take and figure it outhow to create a happy family, what is it in general and who should still be engaged in creating that very happy family. We will not talk too much about this topic, let's say the main thing. That is to say, what we have come to in our family.

What is love

love is …

I have always loved and love order and consistency. Of course, I don't keep order everywhere, I can scatter things, scatter tools, and so on, my wife is not happy with this and of course she swears for it.

But we will not start with this. What is the basis of a family, or rather, what is the reason for creating a family? Many will answer - Love, especially girls. Yes, of course, no doubt about it. But looking at his acquaintances, those around him, the youth, I came to the conclusion that some are just afraid of love.

More precisely, not love as such, but they are afraid that love will not be real, then they will find themselves in a difficult situation and will suffer all their lives, as happened with my wife. But everything turned out to be fixable... So what is Love?

Many philosophers will give many answers, but no one will say exactly what it is... Everyone will describe and tell in their own way, many generally spend their whole lives studying this issue. Well, I certainly won't try to find out.

The fact is that each and every one will understand what it is, just when you really love, then you will be attracted to that person not only when it is good, but also when it is bad, at least to you, at least to both. It's really hard to explain.

philosopher Omar Khayyam

Moreover, love exists not only between a man and a woman... The strongest love, at least for me, is for my own mother. And sometimes love for your family, sister or brother, children, mom or dad, and so on, may be the same - real, true. Or maybe it's worth looking at just this love, studying it and understanding what Love is?

Love is generally a strange thing for me. Sometimes when my spouse just infuriates me, she even becomes even sexier, all anger and hatred becomes empty space.

But there is no need to be afraid that you will fall in love with the wrong person. Time will really tell what and how. But the main component of what you love is the consciousness that you want a family, children. That is, not just being close to this person, admiring him and her beauty, relaxing, and so on, but it is the desire to create sevenyu, with children, with problems, with relatives and so on.

And if you still do not feel that you want to associate yourself with a loving person for life, to be one and raise children together, then there is no point in reading further. It's just that I will continue to describe those things that will help to look at an already created family from the outside and see what can be corrected or added to yours, for example. Or, when starting a family, you will simply understand what you do not need to do.

If you are not at all happy right now, consider if there is love between you. Precisely whether you love and whether you are loved. And based on this, think about whether it is worth changing something or just starting all over again. Do you have the time and energy for this. From myself I will add - don't give upif you see at least one small gap - try and everything will work out. In my family, it took several years.

In previous issues, we described simple little things that you can read.

The foundation of a happy family

First, figure out what means a happy family... What is it for you and your companion. It is also necessary to clearly understand that the vision of a happy family is different for you and your companion. Therefore, communication can only reveal what brings you closer.

Only during good communication will you both understand what a happy family is for you, what you both want from life, from your family, from each other. This is important and perhaps with this should start building a happy family... Set goals for yourself and your companion (companion) and go towards this goal. Even in small steps, but you will come to her, the main thing is not to give up and respect each other.

drawing happy family

As a man, I can describe a lot here about what a woman should do. But wait, it turns out the men should not do anything? Some people say, they say, I earn money, my head is full of work, and I want to go fishing or take a car or repairs need to be done…. So what - I will say. Have you guys thought about what your wife is doing?

Take even cooking, cleaning, pay attention to your husband, take care of yourself, raise children and still have time to work in the same way and many more little things. Titanic work, in my opinion.

To build a happy family, both the wife and the husband need to work on family relationships.

Who is the head in this house? Who has the final say? I am still from those times when such questions are cardinally there was only one answer - a man... Yes, this is correct in my opinion, a man is stronger and there should be a family behind him.

But a man himself must be a man. He must stand up for the family, for the wife, for the children. He must not only be physically selenium, but also smart. This is what modern men lack, not everyone of course. In order for the husband to have the last word, he must clearly understand what the problem is. And to understand everything as accurately and correctly as possible. In order not to harm the family.

Recently, I often see that some young guys simply do not understand that in the future they should have a family behind them. Now they are for themselves only, and the rest do not care, to put it mildly. Of course, a lack of education, many will say. But what about the parents themselves?

Yes, you don't need to rely on the state, teachers or anyone else all the time! Parents should convey to the child what is important in his future life, something that the school and the teacher will never give. But this is a separate topic, something carried me aside. But I think I got it.

And here, in my opinion, what needs to be done first of all to get a happy family:

1. Study your partner and let him study you. It is necessary that both spouses get to know each other very closely.
2. Learn the logic of thinking both men and women. The Lord not only made us different by gender, but our thinking is also different. And this must be understood. You can learn about women, but about men.
3. To change something there must be desire, motivation... Motivate yourself and your loved ones.
4. Trust each other, this is a happy family again.
5. Respect each other, children... Respect what your loved ones do and love to do.
6. Communicate with each other... And not just superficially, discussing urgent matters, but also deeply communicate. This will help you get to know each other better and you will understand each other.
7. Rejoice each other and children... Spend more time together, travel, play, watch TV, and so on. Go on vacation together at least once a year, wherever. Grandma doesn't count in the village.
8. Start a good family tradition... It brings them closer.
9. Don't throw problems on top of each other.... If there is a problem in the family, both are to blame, always.
10. Raise your children together. Children follow your example.
11. Fuel your relationship with gifts, surprises... It is also necessary to please children.
12. There must be justice in all matters. You need to know a sense of proportion.

Remember! The family is a single whole, you are together, which means that your joy and sadness are common. It means you need to do more joy.

And some more parting words

I just liked the phrase, to the point

One day, I heard a parable, or whatever it is called, well, in general, a story that cheered me up a lot and made me move. In short: There was once a sage. He was the wisest and all people went to him for advice. From this he was happy and proud.

But one day he found out that there is another sage, also very wise, and people began to visit him too. The first sage thought for a long time what to do so that people would only go to him, how to show that the second sage was not so wise.

And he came up with. I will take it, says the first sage, and I will catch the butterfly, cover it with my palms so that it cannot be seen. I will come up and ask the second sage what I have in my hands. He will answer that the butterfly, I will ask, is alive or dead. If she says alive, then I will press my palms a little, she will die. If she says that she is dead, I will simply open my palms and she will fly.

Then it turns out that the sage is wrong and people will stop trusting him. Well, here comes the first sage to the second, holding a butterfly in his hands. The first asks the second what is in his hands - the second says that it is a butterfly. On the second question - is she alive, the second sage thought and answered: Everything is in your hands.

So dear reader: Everything is in your hands. As you want, it will be so, the main thing is to go towards your goal. If you want a happy family, be happy yourself and infect all your loved ones with happiness. There are many difficulties and obstacles on the way, but everything will work out, because everything is in your hands.

There is no clear plan for what needs to be done to have a happy family. In fact, what we wrote above is just what you need to pay attention to. All people are different. Something comes with experience. But there is no need to be afraid, you need to act, that's what you think is necessary, so do it.

That's all for now, write your comments, ask questions, good luck and be happy.

How to create a happy family life updated: September 11, 2017 by: Pavel Subbotin

When newlyweds get married and take oaths of allegiance to each other, the last thing they think about is potential quarrels and conflicts. Living together is still seen in a rosy light, and the problems that other spouses have, seem to be something distant. They do not yet know that they will have to stand on opposite sides of the barricades in a financial war, when one of them is inclined to total economy, and the other is a classic example of a squander.

There will be many other reasons for conflict, and some of them are mere trifles. And if you want your family to be strong, the best advice backed by scientific experiments will come in handy.

Thanks

Most people say thank you to each other for the big things, but prefer to take the little cute gestures for granted. When a person does not receive a mark for their efforts, they lose the motivation to continue giving their other half joy. Make sure you think about your partner, restock his favorite coffee, or do his laundry on the weekend. Do it sincerely and do not see your efforts as a way to earn bonus points to your piggy bank.

Saving

If in everyday life a couple is faced with constant financial stress, this means that the marriage will sooner or later crack. Money disputes are the most violent and irreconcilable. Therefore, show worldly wisdom and start saving some of the money in a separate account.

Cooperative activity

Scandals often persecute those spouses who pay little attention to joint activities. Stop spending your weekends lying on the couch and go looking for interesting and unusual things to do. Get your spouse involved in hiking, hiking, and travel. Arrange meetings with friends, sign up for a hobby club.

Give up trying to control your partner

One of the most common things that ruins even the strongest marriages is the desire to constantly control your partner. When one person tries to change the habits and worldview of his soul mate and points out what to do, he elevates himself, taking his role as head of the family.

Modern marriages are based on equality, so the tendency to control each step of a partner looks like a relic of the past. So did our grandmothers and mothers, who tried to twist ropes from their husbands. This is still the practice of domestic tyrants who must enslave their victims. But if you strive for a harmonious relationship, you must understand that your partner will never change. It is believed that a person's character is laid up to five years, so all your attempts will be in vain.

Man and homework

The modern woman combines several roles at once. She successfully builds a career, gives birth and brings up children, performs the functions of a cook and a housewife. And if earlier women managed to manage household chores, since most of them did not work, now everything has changed. This is why honest distribution of responsibilities is so important in modern families.

Men should take on some of the housework: cooking, vacuuming, washing clothes - doing all those things that are traditionally considered feminine. Unfortunately, studies show that there is still a long way to domestic equality, and most husbands still prefer to lie on the couch, while wives fiddle with a mop and broom.

A couple of glasses of wine

Experts argue that in couples where both spouses drink moderately, the most trusting relationship is compared to completely nondrinking partners or couples in which only one person drinks alcohol. Alcohol is a tool aimed at social rapprochement and unification, if, of course, do not deviate from the norm.

Time-out

To effectively resolve emerging conflicts, spouses need to cool down and calm down. A short time-out in the form of a walk in the fresh air is best suited for these purposes. You can retreat into a room, take a few deep breaths, and try to put yourself in your opponent's shoes. Remember that you are playing for the same team, and not on opposite sides of the barricades.

A study by the University of California researchers found that emotional scandals between spouses predict divorce after 10 years of marriage. But the desire for constructive dialogue increases the chances of a harmonious and happy union.

Joint training

In order to play sports together, partners do not have to perform the same set of exercises. You can be in one place, see each other, be able to exchange impressions, but perform different tasks. For example, when a man is doing the bench press, his spouse is exercising on a treadmill at that time.

Time for two

When a couple has children, it is very difficult for spouses to carve out time for a full-fledged romantic date that turns into a stormy night. It is even difficult for them to find time to watch a good movie and chat about things that are not related to everyday problems, work or education, lying together on the couch. However, the time that allows you to distance yourself from the tasks of the day is extremely important in keeping the spark in a relationship.

Refusal of public criticism

You will save a lot of nerve cells if you vow to yourself never to criticize your partner in public. Don't even do it behind your back and show the whole world that you are a close-knit team.

friendship

Friendship between spouses is as important as romantic feelings. This allows two different people to have more things to talk about, spend more time together, do the same things, laugh and rely on each other.

These things are often underestimated by spouses.

Psychologists insist that you should never underestimate this simple but sweet gesture. It's about a kiss on the cheek.

Send your loved one a cute text message in the middle of the day. This will make him smile.

Eliminate the influence of a mobile phone while dining with your spouse, free the shared bedroom from electronics. You can listen to the interlocutor, but your gestures suggest otherwise. Unfortunately, recently the dissatisfaction of partners with their relations has sharply increased. They prefer to exist in the virtual space, forgetting that real life is of much greater value.

The tone of the statements is also important. Give up the role of the hostess talking to a subordinate, or the role of a capricious spoiled girl who asks to fulfill all her requirements.

Use electronic technology to your advantage

Electronic technologies do not always take away the peace of mind of spouses, they do not always make them jealous. They can and should be used for good purposes. Social media allows lovers to stay in touch if they are forced apart. SMS messages help quarreling partners to demonstrate a desire to go to a truce.

If you want to discuss a serious issue, but are too angry, then you should not dial the phone number and tell your partner what you think of him. Write a text message that will significantly soften your anger. In addition, this technique will allow you to synchronize thoughts and feelings, as well as enable logical thinking. All these criteria will allow your couple to resolve the conflict situation peacefully.

A happy family despite all the trials.

The first couple of years after marriage, the spouses feel passion, love, desire for each other. However, after some time, especially after the birth of the long-awaited children, these feelings cool down. Some couples simply turn a blind eye to this and try to go with the flow, while others do not like this prospect of a relationship. And if some are trying to return family happiness and harmony to their home, others simply give up and get divorced. But is it worth taking such drastic measures? Isn't it easier to show a little prudence, and instead of looking for a new partner, try to save the marriage by returning the idyll to your own family?

What or who interferes with family happiness?

Such questions are of interest not only to married couples, but also to researchers and psychologists. According to the second, family happiness is hampered not only by everyday life, work or postpartum depression of women, but also by those around them, and often close and dear people. So, let's look at the main factors that can influence the marital happiness of couples.

Life, work, children

Constant employment, routine, monotony can destroy even the strongest relationships. Moreover, it has a destructive effect on both men and women. So, the head of the family disappears for days at work in order to provide his family with everything necessary. Sooner or later, such a workload is psychologically exhausting. Hence breakdowns, bad mood, unwillingness to do anything, apathy, depression due to constant stress. Imagine a situation if a husband comes home after a hard day's work, and his wife starts to "saw", they say, he returned late, did not take out the trash, did not fix the tap, etc. It is worth remembering that for men, the house is a fortress, where he should feel needed, loved. After all, men are like children: they also need attention and love, understanding and care. You cannot build a happy relationship without this.

As for women, the picture here does not look simpler: everything rests on their fragile shoulders - the house, the children, and sometimes the material well-being of the family. It is generally accepted that women are psychologically stronger than men. However, over time, their "batteries" also run out, and then this insane hurricane is very difficult to stop. Imagine for a moment: a woman is torn every day between screaming children demanding attention, food, drink, play, etc., washing, ironing, cleaning, cooking and other "female" responsibilities. By the evening, when she no longer has any strength left, she has only one desire - to rest quietly, to sleep well. But a gloomy tired husband comes home and begins to criticize: either the soup is not so salted, or the shirt is not ironed, or the toys are not assembled. And many people generally reproach that the spouse sits at home for days and does nothing. And has anyone ever thought about where the cooked lunch or dinner came from on the stove? Who iron and evenly folds the laundry on the closet shelves? Why is the dirty dishes not propped up by the gander of the tap, but are beautifully arranged in their places? And how many times a day do you need to walk with a vacuum cleaner, removing the consequences of the baby's games? But all this takes a lot of time and effort, and not so much physical as moral.

From all that has been said, the only conclusion follows: both spouses get tired in the same way (of course, provided that everyone is fully engaged in their duties). Therefore, it is stupid to blame someone for idleness. Show understanding, try to help each other, be interested in the affairs of your half. Be attentive and, perhaps, less demanding, because sometimes we wish from our beloved (beloved) the difficult or completely impossible, which leads to conflict situations, resentment. Relax more together: go for a walk with the whole family, have fun, stay alone, sending children to grandparents, arrange romantic evenings, make small surprises. It is not difficult at all, but such actions will help maintain family relationships at that romantic stage, which they were before or immediately after marriage. It is equally important to believe and trust your partner. Respect him / her. It is these feelings that are the foundation of a happy marriage.

Parents of spouses

You can talk about the relationship of spouses with their parents forever. Some are lucky with them, others are not very lucky. What do you mean "lucky" or not? In the first case, mother-in-law and mother-in-law (respectively, father-in-law and father-in-law) do not climb into the relationship of the newlyweds - and this is the correct position in the opinion of many married couples. Yes, they can sometimes give good advice, and the young will definitely take it into account. But this happens infrequently and, most importantly, unobtrusively.

In the second case, "bad luck" is total control by parents over the young. Not a single step of the spouses goes unnoticed. All actions that relate to everyday life, raising children, preparing food and even relations between young people are carefully monitored and adjusted in their own way by the mother-in-law and mother-in-law (as a rule, fathers do not participate in such intrigues). What happens in a young family? Complete discord, scandals, tears, divorce. None of the spouses can withstand such an onslaught. When a family collapses due to the fault of parents, young people are convinced that they simply did not fit each other, although in fact it was the parents who made the effort to break the once happy family.

Is it possible to get rid of total parental control? It is possible, but you need to show firmness of character, be patient. Try to explain to your mother-in-law / mother-in-law that you are adults and independent people, that your family is YOUR family, and you are responsible for it, and you know how to act in a given situation. Of course, you should not refuse help from your parents if you really need it. It is also not worth limiting the communication of your children with their parents - this will aggravate the situation, a new conflict will appear, and much more serious. And remember, if you decide to declare your own independence, then you are now responsible for each of your actions.

Sisters and brothers of spouses

We may not even suspect that our younger brothers or sisters can become the destroyers of our marriage. It would seem that the usual custody of them will not bring any harm. But when these family relationships become a burden, measures should be taken, otherwise ideal family relationships will burst like a soap bubble.

What to do? Create an activity for your brother / sister that will distract him / her from your relationship. Does he / she constantly ask for money? Help me find a decent and interesting job. Stays up late at your house, preventing you from enjoying each other in private? Present a dog or other animal - now he / she will have something to do in his / her free time. Another option is to give birth to a child, then the problem with an obsessive relative will be solved by itself.

Friends and comrades

Both spouses need rest and relaxation. And friends in this matter are the main assistants. But the spouse does not always accept the friends of their half. Husbands are not satisfied with too frank or eccentric girlfriends of their wives, and wives are not happy with their husband's rude or too cheeky friends. Often friends and comrades take a lot of time from married couples: either the wife and her friend disappear in cafes or shops, or the husband leaves for the whole weekend for hunting or fishing. But ideally, spouses should spend their free time together in order to keep that invisible bond that once reunited them.

Of course, spouses need to rest even from each other. But this should not be done as often as it usually happens. Still, family, children and loved one should remain a priority.

Hobbies and hobbies

Today many men (and some women too) are addicted to computer games. Sometimes this hobby turns into a real gambling addiction. Such a person is no longer interested in anything: neither family, nor work, nor communication in reality. The virtual world is everything for him: his wife, children, and parents.

If a dependent person cannot overcome his passion for games or other activities to which he is very fanatic, marriage with him is doomed to failure. What can be done? The very first thing is to talk to him frankly, looking into his eyes, without reproaches, shouts, insults. Make it clear that he is dear to you, as well as the relationship with him. Help overcome this addiction, because it is easier to fight together than to cope with problems alone. Give a chance, and you will be able to keep happiness in your family, even if it will be very difficult to do it.

If the passion has disappeared ...

Many factors influence the relationship between spouses. And if before the touch of the second half caused delight, a storm of emotions, and now you only feel irritation, then we can say that the passion has left your relationship. Is it possible to return it? Psychologists are sure that you can. But why does passion leave the relationship? There are several reasons for this:

1. Lack of romance. Often spouses become boring, forget to pamper each other with gifts, make surprises, and prefer watching TV or sitting at the computer to a fun vacation or a walk in the park.
2. Accumulation of grievances and claims to each other. Often, in a fit of anger, the spouse speaks nasty things to each other, which is difficult to forget. Isn't it better to resolve conflicts in calm tones, coming to a general consensus that will satisfy both?
3. A banal habit. When the feeling of novelty disappears, the relationship becomes mundane, boring. Imperceptibly, the spouses begin to annoy each other, and soon hate each other. It is almost impossible to remedy this situation.

In order not to completely destroy family relationships, one should adhere to certain rules that psychologists advise. But be prepared for the fact that you will need a lot of effort and patience.

Using these tips in combination, you can achieve harmony, brightness and reciprocity in your relationship with your partner.

Secrets of a Happy Family Life

Even in spite of the sad statistics of divorce, it is possible to save your own family, but it will take a lot of effort. The main thing is to follow the advice of psychologists, and then you are guaranteed a long, happy family life.

1. Be emotionally responsive and approachable. Always respond to your partner's requests, do not blame, do not shut up, do not make fun of. Be an assistant, like-minded person, support, advisor. Emotional responsiveness and availability in a married couple should be mutual.
2. Embrace your partner's differences and see them as real. Many associate love with similarity. There is a feeling that partners think the same way, feel the same thing, say similar things, but it only creates the illusion of unity, closeness and security. In such a relationship, any disagreement or dissimilarity is perceived painfully. Partners should take and respect any difference for granted. Be aware of these differences and learn to accept the person as they are. Only then will there be harmony in the relationship.
3. Learn to cooperate and come to an agreement. Help each other, respond positively to requests, discuss plans for the future together, seek compromises. If there are controversial points, do not be afraid to discuss them and express your own opinion - this will help in the end to come to a common solution. And if you have agreed on something, observe these agreements without fail.
4. Do not interfere, but promote the self-development of your partner. Interaction is the success of a marriage. Happy spouses are those partners who, together, were able to achieve certain successes that could not have been achieved alone.
5. Treat many things lightly and with humor. Life is short, and you should not waste it on quarrels, ridiculous showdowns, omissions, stupid accusations. If there is some kind of frivolous embarrassment - put everything in a joke, laugh, be distracted. After all, pleasant emotions and laughter quickly defuse the atmosphere, destroy the negativity, and tune in to a positive wave.
6. Organize your life correctly. Household responsibilities can be divided into all family members, but how you do it is up to you. The main thing is that in the future, everyone is responsible for their own zone, without shifting their responsibilities onto another. Of course, it is possible and even necessary to help a loved one, but do not count your services to everyone, take it as a voluntary contribution to family coziness and comfort.