How to stop negative emotions, thoughts and actions. Let go of the urge to change other people's negative tendencies. Look for positive people and positive situations

07.05.2019

People experience negative feelings, such as sadness, anger, jealousy, or hate, when the situation they are in gets out of control. Negativity is very common, especially in the workplace. These emotions tend to make people doubt themselves and affect the way they do work and perceive various things. While it's generally natural to sometimes find ourselves in situations that can cause us negative emotions, it's worth knowing how to deal with such negative emotions. Below are 25 tips to help you cope with negative emotions caused by unpleasant situations.

25. Assess the situation objectively

You should never blow an elephant out of a fly
When something bad happens, try to avoid exaggeration and the desire to make the situation more negative than it really is. Sometimes a person can deceive himself and inflate an elephant out of a fly, constantly pondering it over and over again. This is unnecessary and leads to unwanted stress. Instead, try to think of solutions to the problem and apply some of the tips you find on this list.

24. Learn to be prudent

This tip goes hand in hand with the tip # 25. When bad situations happen, the temptation to act rashly, on a wave of emotions instead of logic, is too strong. First of all, you should learn to keep your emotions under control and not let them affect your judgment. If something unpleasant happens, just take it for granted that trouble sometimes happens and find a way to deal with it and move on.

23. Think about ways to help you relax

This is a simple solution, but nevertheless, it is one of the most effective. If you are overwhelmed by a wave of negativity, this can be a clear sign that you are morally "blown away". Get out of the negative environment and relax. If you're at work, this can be a daunting task. However, there are also exits, you can go and talk with someone in another department and take a walk during lunch, instead of eating with colleagues indoors.

22. Try to understand the situation and learn from it

The sad truth is that we live in a world full of negativity. However, this does not mean that you are doomed to fall into his net. Learn to recognize negative situations and learn from them, overcome them, stay positive. Usually, there is a positive side to every situation, even if it is small. Learn to find it and focus on it.

21. Exercise

Not many people are aware of the fact that in addition to keeping your figure in good shape, exercise can also help reduce stress levels in the body. Exercising, for example, gymnastics, allows the body to better cope with negative emotions, as during exercise, endorphins are produced that make you feel better.

20. Don't hold on to the past.

It's true, we really learn from our own mistakes (at least that's how it should be). But it's one thing to learn a lesson from your mistake and move on in life, and quite another thing to reflect on the past and drown in a quagmire of negativity. Learn to understand that the past will remain the past. Just like that, because you still can't change it. You cannot influence it, embellish it, stop a moment in the past, erase it from your memory, or subject it to any other form of adjustment. Therefore, if you still cannot change anything in your past, why would you waste valuable life energy and time thinking and regretting? Instead, focus on the present and strive for a brighter future. You will feel happier and more productive when you focus all your wasted energy on what you can do in the present.

19. Learn not just to listen, but to hear people

Listening is one of the best ways to deal with negativity in the workplace. Just like you, your work colleagues want to be heard and they need someone who can just listen to them. During group discussions, try to listen carefully to other people, not just what you yourself have to say. This will improve your relationships with colleagues and help prevent situations that could otherwise become a source of negativity.

18. Admit that you are the same person as everyone else and that you also make mistakes sometimes.

Recognize that you are just human and that you sometimes support decisions that you don't really like.

It is certainly very difficult to admit that you, too, are capable of contributing to the spread of negativity around you. If you learn to recognize your ability to make mistakes, it will become much easier for you to perceive the negativity of other people, and, as you know, tolerance is the best remedy against negativity. However, tolerance does not mean absorbing this negativity into oneself. Just try to create a positive environment and be a positive person.

17. Spend some time reflecting on the positive aspects of your life.

Spend some time alone each day and think about the positive aspects of your life. It is very easy to break down under the pressure of obvious negativity, but when you stop for a moment and think about your life, it becomes clear that you actually have a lot of things for which you can be grateful to fate, that is, a lot that other people do not have. ...

16. Take breaks or go for walks alone

When you are in an extremely stressful situation and you feel that the ground is about to slip from under your feet, sinking you into the abyss of negativity, take a break and take a walk. In addition to the fact that walking reduces stress in the body, it also prevents your negative emotions from going wild and making you say something that you will later regret.

15. Accept yourself as you are, along with all your weaknesses and advantages

Leveling out negativity is partly about accepting yourself and exploring how you can help yourself. If you have failed to achieve some goal, never blame or reproach yourself for a wrong decision or a mistake in judgment. Know that you are human and capable of committing misconduct like all other people.

14. Try not to be overly defensive.

Try not to let yourself be too self-protective.
This is especially true in workplaces where it is not uncommon to clash with colleagues during stressful situations. If someone says something negative, try not to rears up right away. Listen to what has been said, and if there is a grain of truth in what has been said, act accordingly. However, if there is not a grain of truth in a negative statement, do not let what is said to hurt you, stay calm, and stay positive.

13. Instead of contemplating a negative situation, try to contemplate possible ways to resolve it.

The ultimate goal is to end the case with optimal results. If you are contemplating a negative situation or thought, you are wasting time because things are not moving. Instead, acknowledge the seriousness of the situation, but start thinking about possible ways to resolve it, or what improvements you can make to alleviate it.

12. Ask open-ended questions

Ask open-ended questions to help identify the source of the negative situation. By asking open-ended questions such as “What do you think happens if ___?”, “What would you like to know about _____?”, What do you already know about _____? ”, You allow people to give more natural answers that will help to reveal much wider debated issue. This is great, as such questions and discussions give room for the personality and creativity of your peers and work colleagues (in a positive situation). On the other hand, closed-ended questions such as: "Do you feel better today?", "Do you think you are right?", "Which is better, green or red?", Limit their answers to the words "yes" and "no", that depending on the context, it can be perceived as a manifestation of confrontation. If you are trying to identify the cause of a negative situation or create a more positive solution, the best tactic is to ask open-ended questions.

11. Decide for yourself to stay calm.

We have more power over our actions than we think. The decision to be furious or to remain rational and calm is just that - a decision. Make a conscious, focused decision to remain calm when negative situations arise. Not only will this help you stay calm, but it will also give you a chance to turn a negative situation into a more positive one.

10. Solve one problem at a time.

Discuss all the questions and solve one problem at a time. This will allow you to more effectively focus on finding a way out of the negative situation in your workplace.

9. Give other people the opportunity to express their opinions

Sometimes, all it takes to reduce negativity is listening to the person. We are all human and each of us wants to be heard and appreciated.

8. Never dismiss a complaint, even if it seems very trivial.

This applies to both the work environment and the home environment. Don't make it a habit to ignore complaints, even if they seem trivial to you. If someone thinks this complaint is important, then for that person it is far from trivial. Listen to what the person is saying and try not to take it personally. A complaint can be a valuable observation worth considering. By listening to it, you will let the speaker know that you value their opinion and create a more positive and productive environment.

7. Try not to get carried away with over-creating rules

Never make rules for everyone if only a few break the rules
This is another example of advice you can use both at work and at home. If you are in an influential position at work, try not to create a huge number of rules. It is important to give people the freedom to express their individuality, while at the same time maintaining an appropriate work schedule. However, too many rules are stressful and can be a source of negativity both at work and at home.

6. Enter the program of the suggestion box

In most cases, problems in the workplace arise from the lack of the necessary dialogue between workers and the administration. Thanks to the introduction of a suggestion box, employees will be able to speak freely and thus, the administration will be able to understand exactly what problems need to be solved first.

5. Sponsor company events that serve as an ideal environment for the development of friendly relations between employees

This tip is more appropriate for a work environment. It is very useful to hold an event for your employees at least once a year that can unite them. These activities will give your employees a sense of fun, as well as help maintain a work-life balance and make them feel highly valued.

4. Investigate situations in which multiple employees are involved

In the workplace, sometimes problems arise that affect not one or two employees, but the whole group. Such problems foster negativity and need to be addressed as soon as possible. To deal with a similar problem, try to investigate this problem and solve it in the most optimal way.

3. Always react quickly

A quick solution to the issue helps to get rid of negativity in the team as soon as possible. The longer you delay and postpone finding a way out of a predicament, the more negativity grows and affects you, the people around you, and even the people with whom you work.

2. Always have a plan in mind for how to deal with negativity.

It is always good to have a plan for how you can deal with negativity, which means that you should think about situations that are potentially sources of negativity and think ahead about your actions that will contribute to a successful search for a way out of them. Naturally, you cannot foresee the future, but planning and thinking through different scenarios will allow you to be much better prepared for problem situations should they arise. For example, say you're at work and you hear your employees gossip about your boss. How will you behave in this negative situation? Think about it now, and if such a situation happens in real life, you will know exactly what needs to be done.

1. Discourage the spread of office gossip

If you are in a managerial position, alert your subordinates to the dangers of gossiping and spreading. Gossip is one of the most common causes of negativity in the workplace, as it creates negative thoughts in workers about other people and adversely affects work and interpersonal relationships in the workplace.

If you don't want trouble in your life, it is important to know how to protect yourself from the negative energies of the people around you. It's great if your environment consists entirely of positive people who treat you well, then there is nothing to worry about. Otherwise, you need to learn how to put energy blocks. Let's talk about how to do it.

We are all accustomed to protecting the body from cold or heat, immunity from diseases. But energy protection is usually not included in the list of mandatory measures. And in vain - after all, very often on our life path there are "toxic people". These are energy vampires that can seriously harm you.

Why contact with energy vampires is dangerous:

With complaints, envy, negativity, these personalities can tire you a lot. After communicating with such people, there is a feeling of emotional fatigue, anxiety, unpleasant thoughts appear
The mental harm from toxic people is transferred to the physical shell of a person - you may notice a deterioration in well-being, you will start to get sick often
By criticizing, condemning you, or speaking impartially, energy vampires can influence the course of your life. They literally take your luck, deprive you of energy, which can cause many problems in financial and personal matters.

If it is impossible to completely exclude contacts with such personalities, you should take care of cleansing your own space and energy shell from all negative influences.

How to remove negative energy from yourself: 2 proven ways

If you are feeling negatively influenced by other people's energies, use one or more of the following methods. They are simple enough - practice and apply them constantly.

Method one: set boundaries

This method is used in cases when an energetically “toxic” person:

Complains about life. He sees everything around him exclusively in black light. Complains about everyone and everything, whines, talks about his problems, wanting to get your sympathy
Speaks negatively about everyone around him. The government is bad, the boss is a fool, the children are disobedient, the spouse is generally the devil in the flesh. Everyone around is to blame, only the "vampire" is well done

Complaints and judgments from other people do not need to be listened to at all. Leave or go about your own business. If there is no way to end the conversation, use defensive phrases:

"You will succeed, you will definitely solve all the problems." Continues to be zealous and complain - "No, I do not believe, you are / are able to cope with all this, I know for sure"
Translate the subject: "By the way, yesterday a new film came out, did you?"
And best of all, clearly define the boundaries: "Sorry, but I'm not interested in listening to this."
Or: “Oh, seriously? And what do you think to do about it? " (if complains)

When the vampire realizes that neither pity nor sympathy will come from you, and you do not support conversations about the sins of other people, he will lag behind you and look for another "victim".

Method two: turn on mindfulness

Learning to control your unconscious means getting powerful protection from someone else's negative energy. You need to control your emotions that arise in the process of communicating with negative people.

How many times have you lost your temper, responding to a boor with rudeness? Throwing a tantrum when the person deliberately provoked you to emotions? All the negative feelings that you experience in such moments are colossal steals of your energy.

Therefore, you need to learn to "turn on" awareness and learn to perceive the situation calmly, without unnecessary emotions.

How to do it:

Let's say someone has provoked your anger. Before you start to resent, shout or be rude in response, think for a second, pause
Consider what you can say in response. For example, the conductor is rude to you: "And where can I find change for you with a thousand, we have gone here, rich people!" Instead of making a scandal, calmly and with a smile parry: "Unfortunately, I have no small money, but I am sure that you will find change, I will be very grateful."
Ham gets a reaction that he doesn't expect - and either calms down, or lags behind you, leaves

Include awareness in any situation that provokes you to be negative. Remember constantly: it is more important to remain calm than to "feed" a toxic person with your negative emotions.

Cleansing space from negative energy and entities

Separately, it is worth talking about cleansing space from negative energy. These techniques are worth applying if you have moved into a new house or apartment and want to get rid of the destructive energy of past tenants.

Also, such practices can be carried out after conflicts with family members or simply for energy "prevention".

Watch a video on how to cleanse the house of negative energy:

Elementary methods:

Cleaning with positive affirmations. General cleaning, in the process of which you throw out all the old trash and remove the dirt, is already a grandiose way of clearing a room of negative energy. To enhance the effect, you can mentally say affirmations: "All members of my family are healthy, successful and happy", "I am getting healthier and better every day." Etc
Fixing everything that's broken. A leaking tap, broken locks, wobbly cabinet doors - all this blocks the flow of positive energy. Therefore, if something breaks at home, fix it immediately.
Clean mirrors and windows. Keep them clean at all times and rub to a glossy shine. This also applies to any other reflective surfaces.

Believers can also hang icons of saints at home.

Mark Twain

Who are negative people?

A negative person is someone who constantly complains and dumps a bunch of their problems at you. He will not lift a finger to solve them on his own, but pleadingly and sometimes demandingly will cry for help. As soon as you go on about it, and you will be made responsible for all the misfortunes that have happened or will only happen in the future with such a person.

A negative person will never support you. Moreover, he is ready to make every effort to make your idea fail. If you start losing weight, wait for him to visit with a delicious cake. If you quit smoking, he will happily blow smoke in his eyes. Your failure and feeling powerless make him happier.

Negative people, as a rule, are completely closed to criticism and take it extremely painfully. They do not want to change themselves and they hate any attempt to change the existing order of things. Someone else’s success annoys them, and failure mocks them. A negative person sees only bad in everything, does not believe in his own strength and spreads an atmosphere of despondency and despair around him.

Why is it so important to banish negative people from your life? There are three main reasons.

Negative people keep you from growing and reaching your life goals. They discourage you from taking action, sow doubt, and lead you astray.
The negative energy of such people affects your energy level. In addition, they can cause stress and anxiety.
Your life is directly dependent on those around you. The more negative characters there are among them, the more difficult and down-to-earth it will be. Positive people will help you achieve what you want, negative people will turn your life into a swamp in which you will drown.

How to get rid of negative people

Step 1: define your goals

First, find out what problems you have, and then make a plan to solve them. Ask yourself if everything suits you in yourself and in life. Think about what is preventing you from achieving your goals. Decide what your goals are and how much you want to achieve them. Are you able to radically change your habits, environment, lifestyle for them? Determine which people around you are hindering you and which are pushing you forward.

Step 2. Find pests

Negative people make you feel bad. They lower your energy and leave you feeling empty and frustrated. After communicating with them, you feel a breakdown, irritation, resentment.

Such people always discourage you from acting. They are sympathetic to you and your intentions, but they never offer help, but only discourage changes. “You won't succeed”, “It's too dangerous”, “We must wait”, “You're already late” - these and similar words are always ready for them.

Negative people can be different and sometimes they can be nice. But if you still see a toxic charge in a person, then it is better to stay away from him.

Step 3. Let Them Go

Just get started. You yourself can effectively and painlessly remove negative people from your environment. Avoid them. Don't pick up the phone. Remove them from your friends on social networks.

Avoid explanations. In any case, truthful. Otherwise, it can turn into a showdown, which will give another reason to drink your blood. Negative people can do relationship workshops, so don't mess with them. Just let them get out of your life.

Step 4. Don't Feel Guilty

There is only one life, so you should not destroy it just because you are afraid to ruin the mood of another person. You should be your own best friend. If you do not take responsibility for your life and well-being, no one will do it for you.

If you decide to remove a person from your life, most likely, before that you have tried all the ways to change him. If no wise words helped, then you have no choice but to get rid of such a person. You don't have to hang out with the same people all your life. Whatever the reason, people grow and change. And the relationship between them can develop or fade.

Remember, the negative impact of negative people should not be underestimated. It is able to cross out all your life plans and deprive even the most powerful person of strength.

Have you had to radically change your environment?

Bad moods and pessimism are surprisingly contagious. They can spoil the good mood and overload us. How to learn not to take on the negativity of other people on yourself, this will be discussed in the article. Emotions are energy. Anger, frustration, fear radiate their frequency. People, as successors, catch this wave and begin to vibrate at this frequency. Then the following happens: depending on the sensitivity and strength of his energetic, an interaction with the negative takes place. Answer the question, how long have you been impressed by the unpleasant news, negative expression. How long do you digest and keep thinking about it? When you hear a pessimistic person again, remember the time, after how many minutes or hours you will stop thinking about it. Let's talk about your natural sensitivity to negative vibrations. Signs of high sensitivity. 1. You feel anxiety, fear from other people literally physically. 2. You get tired quickly in a group of people. 3. You constantly reflect on your own and others' experiences. 4. You are trying to figure out any situation, sort everything out on the shelves, whether it is necessary or not. 5. To recuperate, you need to be in solitude and in a state of complete rest. 6. You are the ideal listener and everyone wants to talk to you about their problems in search of sympathy. It seems that you are wearing a sign, I will listen to anyone and regret it. This ability is great, but you want to reduce the time it takes to influence people you dislike or feel uncomfortable with. Don't let them pester you and waste your time and energy. As a rule, they do not need help, but it is important to dump the negative from yourself to you. How not to absorb the negativity of other people, ways. The most basic rule is to learn to understand and listen to your feelings. 1. Ask yourself where did this emotion come from? Are they your own emotions or someone else's? Try to identify who and what caused you anxiety. Trace the chain from good mood to bad. Often, the change does not happen suddenly, but comes with a delay. Just talking with a person, thinking about your own and you have not yet fully understood the meaning of his words. And when you relaxed, melancholy and anxiety flooded over you. You probably thought that these are your feelings and have loaded more. 2. When you can trace and locate the source of negativity, try to avoid it. Increase the distance to the person while talking. Don't let him invade your personal space. Comfortable distance - arm length. 3. If there is no way to leave or move away to reduce the influence of negativity, shift your attention to internal sensations or breathing. Do not listen to what the person says, think about yours, you can count from one hundred to zero, subtracting three. Hum a song, remember an anecdote. Load your mind with information, then you miss part of the words. Breathing has the same effect. Your mind will watch your breath and moreover the energy will remain balanced. Observe the inhalation and exhalation. You can concentrate on the outside. Examine carefully the street outside the window or a scratch on a polished table. Don't let negative vibrations resonate with your vibrations. The most important thing is to learn how to track sensations. All other techniques from building brick walls to fiery walls or mirrors are of the same nature, which I described above. Namely, switching attention to external or internal. What you visualize doesn't matter. What you get better and see, then use it. 4. Learn to feed on positive energy. Visit the places where you really feel good and comfortable more often. Remember these feelings and if you get sick again, reproduce them and you will feel better. It is good to put amulets for yourself, loved ones. You can find how to do this in the group's feed.

Difficulty living a positive life with negative people

Dealing with negativity can be tantamount to making life difficult for yourself. In my previous job, I had a colleague with constant negative energy, and she poured all this on me on a daily basis. In our conversations, she constantly complained about everything - about the work process, about friends, about her health or something else that she could think about at the time of the conversation. She was constantly cynical of other people, doubting their intentions and judging them very harshly. The conversations were unpleasant and exhausting.

So, protection from negative energy, 7 effective steps:

How to cleanse yourself of negativity? Set boundaries for communication

It is difficult to deal with negative people who are mired in their problems and cannot focus on solving them. They want to involve people from the outside in their 24/7 self-pity holiday, which boosts their self-esteem because someone empathizes with them. You understand that you are simply being forced to listen to their complaints, but you cannot do anything about it, because don't want to sound callous or rude. But you have to keep a clear line between being a vest and being drawn into their emotional drama.

You can avoid this drama by setting limits and pulling back when necessary. Imagine if a person smoked cigarettes one after another, would you sit next to him all day and inhale second-hand smoke? Of course not, you would have moved away. With complaints, the situation is the same, when you realize that you have already heard them enough, step back for a while to restore the energy level.

If you're having trouble walking away soon, another great way to set boundaries is to ask the negative person how they plan to solve the problem they are complaining about.

Usually, after this question, negative people calm down or turn the conversation into a more harmonious direction, at least temporarily.

How to get rid of negative energy? Don't react - respond with awareness

In most cases, we are overreacting to something during periods of emotional overstrain. Usually the response is controlled by our ego, this is our human nature.

There is a split second to choose to react or respond consciously. When you feel angry or agitated, it means that you reacted to the provocation, and did not consciously respond. By responding consciously, you have a sense of balance, and you ponder your words.

To summarize, when you confront someone with negative attitudes, do not respond to them with insults, keep them to yourself. Do not forget about the sense of dignity and do not stoop to his / her level. As they say, you need to be brave enough to get away from stupidity with your head held high.

Provide lungs topics for discussions

People's negative attitudes are usually associated with seemingly harmless questions. For example, one of my friends gets very hard to manage when it comes to work. No matter what I say, he complains about everything about work, and when I try to make positive comments, he reacts to them even more sharply. And our conversation is getting very difficult.

In general, if you find yourself in a similar situation, and your interlocutor gets stuck on some topic, understand, perhaps the problem lies very deep inside him, change the topic once and do not touch it again. It is best to translate the topic into a discussion of simple things, such as funny memories, personal successes, or other light topics. Keep the other person positive.

Focus on solutions, not problems

What you focus your attention on determines your emotional state. Focusing on problems can create negative emotions and prolong stress. But if you shift your focus to doing things that can improve your circumstances, you develop a sense of self-worth, efficiency, and a kind of pride in yourself that brings with it positive emotions and reduces stress.

The same thing happens with negative people, focusing your thoughts on how difficult and stressful they are only intensifies the suffering, giving them power over you.

If you stop thinking about how problematic a person is, focus instead on how you can present their behavior in a positive way, choose something for yourself. It is much more beneficial to put yourself in the position of managing the situation, this can significantly reduce the amount of stress. Try to find answers and solutions, put yourself in the position of a problem solver, and don't go with the flow.

Maintain a level of emotional detachment from other people's opinions of you.

Maintaining a level of emotional detachment is vital to keeping stress at bay. Don't let negative people (or anyone else) put their problems on your shoulders, this is very important to your emotional health and happiness. The solution to this problem comes down to how much you value yourself and how much you believe in yourself.

People who effectively manage their lives, as a rule, they work on the "inner I", ie. those people who know that success and well-being comes from within.

Negative people usually survive at the expense of others, i.e. blaming other people or external circumstances for everything that happens or does not happen in their life.

When your sense of satisfaction or well-being depends on other people's opinions, you no longer control your happiness. Know this. When emotionally strong people feel good about things they have done, they don't let anyone spoil their sense of victory over a new challenge.

In truth, others either underestimate you or overestimate you, only you can evaluate your strengths. Remember this. It doesn't matter if you lose or win, you have invaluable experience. This is important.

Letting go of the urge to change other people's negative tendencies

You can help some people with a good example, but others may not. Remember this and you can strike a balance between helping and retreating. If people do not accept good examples, then step back from your idea of \u200b\u200bsetting the person up in a positive way. It just won't work.

Resist the influence of energy vampires, manipulators, and emotional blackmailers who are desperate to control other people's behavior.

With that said, if your loved one has negative tendencies and you think over time he will change for the better, take off your rose-colored glasses, this will not happen.

If you really want to change him for any good reason, be honest and put all the cards on the table, at least this person will know how you feel and why.

For the most part, although you can't change them, you shouldn't be trying to do so. Either you accept the person as he is, or live without him. This may sound a little harsh, but it is. When you try to change people, they often resist, but when you don't try to change them - you support them and give them the freedom to be themselves, they gradually change miraculously. Because the only thing that drives them is how you see them.

Dedicate enough time each day to work on yourself.

You should neglect yourself just because others are doing it. and if you are forced to live or work with a negative person, make sure you have enough time alone to rest and recover.

Playing the role of a "focused, rational adult" in the face of negativity can be very exhausting, and if you're not careful, negativity can consume you.

Thoughts of negative people can fill your life even at night, when you constantly ask yourself the following questions:

Am I doing the right thing?
Am I so terrible that people talk to me like that?
I can't believe he did it
It hurts so much

Such thoughts can keep you agonizing for weeks, months or even years. Unfortunately, sometimes the goal of a negative person is to drive you crazy, and sink to his level so that they are not alone. And since you cannot control what they are doing, it is important to take care of yourself, then you can stay in the center of negativity, feeling healthy and full of energy when necessary.

Some more…

Even if you find it difficult to admit that you are the negative person, you need to do it. Sometimes it's your own negativity that hurts you more than anything else.

If your inner critic is eating you up, try to get rid of all the thoughts and thoughts that hurt you, or at least some of them, and you will feel better.

Remember, you don't need negative thoughts.

Get started and watch this little tip change your life.

And finally, a little cartoon ...