When the child begins to show character. Character traits of newborn children. Early development of children's temperament

Both adults and children go through different age crises throughout their lives. According to psychologists, the bulk of age-related crisis jumps occur in childhood and adolescence. This is easily explained by the fact that it is during these years that a person experiences the most dynamic development, which requires constant changes.

Doctors distinguish several crisis periods of childhood

The formation of general and neuropsychic reactivity in children is uneven. This process is characterized by periodic jumps. Such rather sharp and stormy qualitative explosions give way to periods of calmer development. Crises of childhood are divided into 5 main phases:

1. Neonatal crisis. This phase lasts 6-8, sometimes 9 weeks after birth.
2. Crisis of early childhood. It falls on the age of 12 - 18, 19 months (we recommend reading:).
3. Crisis 3 years. It can start as early as 2 years old and stretch up to 4.
4. Crisis 6-8 years (we recommend reading:).
5. Adolescence crisis. It happens at 12, 13, 14 years old.

neonatal crisis

Among specialists, it is customary to consider the children's crisis that a newborn is experiencing from the physical and psychological side. From the point of view of physiology, the process of adaptation of the crumbs to the new conditions of its existence, which is fundamentally different from the prenatal period, is implied. After birth, in order to survive, a baby needs to do many things on its own - for example, breathe, warm itself, get and assimilate food. To help the child adapt and make this process as stress-free as possible, parents should develop a calm daily routine, ensure regular sleep and good nutrition, and establish the process of breastfeeding.

In the phase of psychological adaptation, the actions and emotions of the child's parents play an important role. A baby who has just been born does not yet have basic communication skills, so he needs help and support, especially from his mother.

It is she who is able to intuitively understand what exactly her baby needs. However, it is very difficult to trust only yourself and your baby, especially if there are many grandmothers, relatives and acquaintances around who constantly advise something. All mom needs to do is carry the baby in her arms, put it on her chest, hug and protect from unnecessary experiences, plus have an iron restraint.

It is important for the mother of a newborn child to build their own relationship with the baby, to establish mutual understanding

This crisis passes by 6-8 weeks after birth. Its completion is evidenced by the appearance of a revival complex. At the sight of his mother's face, the baby begins to smile or in some other way available to him to show his joy.

Crisis of early childhood

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The time of the early age crisis lasts from 12 months to a year and a half. During this period, the baby actively learns the world around him, learns to walk and talk. Naturally, at this age, the speech of the child is not yet very clear. While parents talk about the "own language" of the crumbs, psychologists have given her the name of autonomous children's speech.

At this stage, the baby, for whom the mother is the center of his whole being, comes to understand that she also has her own interests and desires, and therefore cannot belong only to him. Along with this comes the fear of being lost or abandoned. It is in it that the reason for the strange behavior of babies who have just learned to walk lies. For example, they may not leave their mother for a single step or act differently - they constantly run away, thereby forcing them to pay attention to themselves.

The ability to walk independently becomes a kind of milestone in the development of the child - he slowly begins to realize his separateness

This phase marks the beginning of the child's manifestation of his own will and his first independent decisions. The most accessible and understandable way for him to defend his opinion is protest, disagreement and opposing himself to others. It is categorically impossible to try to fight in these moments with a child. Firstly, this will not give any results, and secondly, now he needs to feel unshakable love from his parents and have their physical and emotional support.

It is important for parents to switch from the idea that their child is a helpless creature, to give him the opportunity to develop himself at this stage of growing up. It is clear that an assessment of its capabilities is required and, if necessary, periodically pushing the crumbs towards something, or vice versa, some slowing down of its pace.

Psychologists were able to calculate by weeks and months the frequency of crises in children in the first year and a half. They created a special calendar for this in the form of a table by week. Those weeks when the child has a crisis state are shaded in a darker color. A yellow tint indicates a favorable time for development, and a cloud indicates the most difficult periods.

Weekly baby development crisis calendar

Crisis of three years

The so-called crisis of 3 years may not occur strictly in 3 years. It has fairly wide time limits. The time of its beginning and completion can vary from 2 to 4 years - this is due to the individual characteristics of the individual child. Also, this period is characterized by sharp jumps with manifestations that are difficult to correct. Parents need a lot of patience and perseverance. You should not react very sharply to the tantrums and whims of the baby (we recommend reading:). The method of switching attention is quite effective in such situations. At the next hysterical outburst, you need to try to distract the baby by taking it with something else, more interesting.

7 pronounced symptoms of a crisis 3 years

The most common signs of this crisis jump are:

1. Negativism. The baby begins to have a negative attitude towards one of the parents or even several relatives at once. This results in his disobedience and refusal to communicate and any interaction with them.
2. Stubbornness. Demanding something, the child becomes too persistent, but at the same time does not have the slightest desire to listen to the position of the parents, who are trying to explain to him the reasons why they cannot fulfill his request. The baby is unable to change his original desire and is ready to defend it to the end.
3. Obstinacy. It lies in the actions that children do in defiance. For example, if a child is asked to collect things, he will scatter even more toys, if asked to come over, he will run away and hide. Such behavior is more likely to be caused by a protest against the rules, established norms and restrictions, rather than associated with a specific person.
4. Self-will or the desire to do everything on their own without the help of adults. At the age of 3, it is difficult for a baby to make an assessment of his own potential and compare it with his real capabilities. This leads to the fact that he often commits inappropriate actions, as a result, he becomes angry when he fails.
5. Rebellion. Wanting to make sure that his opinion is taken into account, the baby deliberately conflicts with others.
6. Depreciation. The child ceases to appreciate everything that was dear to him before. It comes down to broken toys, torn books, and being disrespectful to loved ones.
7. Despotism. The baby demands that his parents fulfill all his whims, thereby he tries to subordinate them to his will.

early childhood autism

It is important not to exclude the possibility that age-related crises in children may be accompanied by mental disorders. During this period, hormonal changes take place. Its cause is the activation of the nuclei of the diencephalon and pituitary gland. The child is rapidly developing the process of cognition, this is the basis for the detection of neuropsychiatric diseases.

At this phase of a child's development, early childhood autism can form (we recommend reading:). This is a certain deviation in mental development. The disease is characterized by a sharp decrease in the need to contact with others. The child has no desire to talk, communicate, he does not show any emotions to the actions of other people, that is, laughter, smile, fear and other reactions are alien to him. The baby is not interested in toys, animals, or new people. Such children have fun by repeating monotonous movements - for example, swaying the torso, fingering or rotating the hands in front of the eyes. Such features in behavior require mandatory consultation of a psychoneurologist. The sooner treatment is started, the greater the chance of a successful outcome.

This crisis period has two main aspects:

1. Physical development. This is a very stressful time for the body. At this age, the child is growing rapidly in terms of physical indicators, improves the subtleties of motor skills of the hands, he develops certain rather complex neuropsychic functions.
2. social change. Children begin to go to elementary grades, they have a difficult process of adaptation to new conditions, requirements and environment. Such changes can provoke the formation of a complex of deviations in behavior in the child, which has received the general name "school neurosis".

The "school" crisis is associated with increased workloads and the acquisition of a new social role for the student

school neurosis

A child with school neurosis is characterized by various behavioral deviations. Some students have:

• increased anxiety;
• fear of being late for class or doing something wrong;
• appetite disturbance, which is observed especially in the morning hours before school, and in some cases may be accompanied by nausea and even vomiting.

In other cases, such deviations manifest themselves as:

• lack of desire to get up, get dressed and go to school;
• inability to get used to discipline;
• the inability to remember tasks and answer the questions posed by teachers.

In most cases, school neurosis can be found in weakened children who have left the preschool age, but because of the physical and mental data lagging behind their peers.

Parents need to weigh everything well before sending a six-year-old baby to school. It is not worth rushing with this even at the age of seven, if, in the opinion of the pediatrician, the child is not yet ready for such changes.

Komarovsky does not recommend overloading the baby until he fully adapts to the new way of life. It is better to wait with additional sections and circles. Hidden brain damage, which may have been acquired due to complications during childbirth or pregnancy, infection or trauma received in preschool or early childhood, may appear during the period of adjustment to school. The signs of this are:

• fatigue;
• motor restlessness;
• the recurrence of stuttering, which may have been present during preschool age;
• urinary incontinence.

In addition to the obligatory help of a doctor, it is necessary to create a calm atmosphere at home. Do not scold or punish the baby, do not set impossible tasks for him.

For the age of 12-15, the most noticeable changes are characteristic - both in physiology and from a psychological point of view. In adolescence, boys have increased excitability and incontinence, quite often they can even show aggression. Girls at this age are characterized by an unstable mood. In addition, regardless of gender, adolescent children are characterized by increased sensitivity, indifference, excessive resentment and selfishness, and some begin to show callousness to others, bordering on cruelty, especially for those closest to them.

In an effort to be independent, not to depend on adults and trying to assert themselves, teenagers often commit dangerous and rash acts. For example, failing to find themselves in school, sports or creativity, they start smoking, drinking alcohol, trying drugs, or engaging in early sexual activity. Another way of self-affirmation in adolescents is grouping, that is, spending time and communicating in a group of peers.

Compared to a first grader, a teenager needs the same amount of attention from their parents, and sometimes much more. However, it is necessary to perceive him as an adult, and not as a child, and understand that now his pride is especially vulnerable. It is absolutely useless for a teenager to impose his own opinion. In order to achieve a result, one has only to guide the child. He must assume that he makes the decision himself.

Teenagers in times of crisis require almost more attention than first-graders

Mental disorders in adolescence

In adolescence, in some cases, children have certain mental disorders that are quite difficult to distinguish from the usual features of a crisis state. At this stage of development, especially in situations where a boy or girl is rapidly maturing physically and sexually, a hitherto hidden predisposition to serious diseases associated with the psyche can manifest itself. Consultation with a psychiatrist will not hurt at all and even help if the following changes are observed in the usual behavior of a teenager:

• sudden changes in mood;
• strange hobbies;
• isolation and coldness in relation to relatives and peers;
• detachment from activities and interests characteristic of his age.

All phases of the natural development of the child have a pattern, but their course can go in completely different ways. In some children, this is a change of painful and sharp jumps, in others a mild and almost imperceptible process. The physical and mental characteristics of each child certainly affect how he will experience a crisis, but an important role in this is played by the conditions in which the baby grows and is brought up. When parents are patient and balanced, and the atmosphere in the family is calm and friendly, the crisis period passes quite quietly, without excesses.

Many mothers periodically notice that it seems that yesterday the baby was very small, and today he himself is somehow larger, and his behavior is somehow different, and his look seems to be more conscious. We share our thoughts with girlfriends and husbands, but we hear a lack of understanding in response - how could a child change overnight?

In fact, the process of growth is far from smooth and gradual. For some time, nothing may happen to the child at all, and then only one night passes and it grows several millimeters at once. How is this possible, you ask? The thing is that any baby grows in leaps and bounds.

Scientists have conducted many studies, studying the processes that occur with children aged from one and a half years to sixteen years. As a result, it was found that such changes coincide with changes in brain radiation, established with the help of special measurements. By the time your child reaches one and a half years old, he will already have experienced seven such changes.

It is worth noting that the child not only grows and changes physically, but also undergoes serious mental restructuring. Science has not yet proven any relationship between this phenomenon and brain waves. Moreover, jumps in growth and development most often do not coincide in time intervals.

What happens to your child when his mental development makes one of the leaps?

Such a leap forward means that your child acquires some skill or ability, resulting in a complete restructuring of the existing picture of the world. So, for example, at the eighth week of life, the baby begins to see patterns, which significantly affects his behavior and condition. The ongoing changes will improve all acquired skills, providing an opportunity to move on in your development, studying all new phenomena. Now the baby is happy to look at various small pictures - shop windows, tree branches, or mother's clothes. All this is incredibly interesting and all mothers want to take an active part in such processes as much as possible - somehow help, push. How to understand that right now your child is experiencing another leap in development?

It is very difficult to miss it, because it is usually accompanied by a bad mood, extreme tearfulness, disobedience, the desire to be near the mother's breast all day and bad sleep. At these moments, parents begin to worry about the health of their child, or get angry at his non-standard behavior.

It is worth noting that such phases should not cause you resentment or aggression. Until the child reaches the milestone of fourteen months, you have to go through eight such leaps. Moreover, in all babies they occur at approximately the same time. At first they are quite short in time and follow one after another.

It is worth noting that babies who were born two weeks later than the due date face a similar crisis for the first time a couple of weeks earlier than their peers. If the child was born earlier than expected, then difficult periods will begin a little later. Such dynamics indicates the presence of a connection between the jumps and the radiation of the brain.

What to do to avoid such phenomena? Nothing! Every kid should go through them, because without it it is simply impossible to grow and develop. It does not matter what character your child has - calm or capricious, problem-free or stubborn, from time to time he will enter into a difficult period. Moreover, the more restless the child, the harder he endures the described phases, the stronger his need for his mother and her attention, and the more reasons for conflicts arise between them.

Moms just have to be patient. Do not be angry, think about how hard it is for your baby right now. Very little time will pass, the child will become much calmer, and you will understand that the difficult stage was not in vain, because now he can do much more than he could before.

Bad behavior is associated, first of all, with fear, because when you wake up one morning, your daughter or son realizes that the world around him has changed a lot, he has become completely different. It is not surprising that all this causes the strongest anxiety, a change in appetite and a desire to be closer to those people who are familiar and dear.

All the acquired abilities will definitely help the baby in the process of learning about the world around him. At the same time, it does not matter at all how much time you used to spend on training any skill - the baby will master it only when the time comes!

Since parents are people who know their child better than anyone else, it is you who can not only support him, but also help, guide, set priorities, show what will be really interesting, point out what he did not notice myself. All this will make the learning process easier, faster and more varied.

Genetics

Such a science as genetics is very important today and quite developed, both technologically and theoretically. Almost every one of us at least once heard about the possibility of deciphering DNA and that its analysis can give a complete picture of all kinds of defects in the physical and psychological development of the unborn child.
Also, DNA analysis allows you to make predictions about some of the features of the child's appearance: hair color, eyes, and so on.

At the same time, many do not know that at the moment only 5% of the human genome has been deciphered, that is, much remains to be discovered. But, genetics cannot answer the question of who the child will become in character. And, no matter how much we would like it, it will never give! Why? Everything is simple to horror: the formation of character directly depends on education.

Psychology

You can look for truth in another science, trying to understand how and when a child begins to form a character. This science is psychology, which has a large amount of information about how the character of the baby is formed. And if geneticists have only one decoded chromosome, to be more precise, a small part of it, then psychologists have answers to questions about education, as well as the inheritance of the child's characters of parents and even very distant relatives.
In infancy, children most often look like dads, so "conceived" by nature, which allows dad to immediately see himself in the child and form a paternal instinct.

Pregnancy

Here you have to go in order. To begin with, we will understand the issue of character formation during pregnancy, or rather part of it. Most scientists disagree. Some believe that pregnancy and its course are very important in the development of character and quite strongly influence the formation of some of the possibilities of a future person. Therefore, future mothers are advised to listen to classical music, read fairy tales to the “tummy”. At the same time, no one can say for sure whether the child will become a musician or a writer, but scientists have proven that music makes the future baby more calm and balanced.
During pregnancy, a woman should receive only positive emotions! The main advice for expectant mothers: turn your pregnancy into a fairy tale for yourself and your baby, let it be colorful and carefree. Let those around you, and especially relatives, help you with this.

Who does he look like?

Let's try to forget for a while about the concept of "character" and about how and when it is formed. In the first years of a baby's life, you should not mention this word for some reason.

A newborn baby is more of a biological being than a social one. When a grandmother insists that a child has a father's smile, this only indicates that the baby folds his lips into a tube in the same way as dad. A baby will be able to smile for real not earlier than at 3-4 months, and even then unconsciously. The first smile of a child has no social significance.

Character is an acquired characteristic adopted by the child when he begins to understand the behavior and habits of the adults he imitates. Until a year old, a child is not like such feats.

In psychology, character is the attitude of a purposeful and conscious attitude of a person to the world around him. Responsibility and consciousness come to a child not at all in the first year of life, and this is known to all parents.

Red, red, freckled ...

Genetics prescribes the types of gene transfer in relation to the type of dominance. Future parents can make assumptions about the color of the eyes and hair of the child. Basically, the dark color of both the iris and the hair is dominant. This is what gives reason to believe that children will be born brunettes if one of the parents has dark hair. Although one should not exclude the element of chance, which drives the evolution of all living beings on earth.

Inherited gluttony?

Judging by the gastronomic preferences of genetically similar children, for example, twins, we can safely say that gourmetism and gluttony are inherited from parents. Alas, but this cannot be affected by upbringing, habitat and environment. Nothing!

All in dad!

And what is this character anyway? Everything is extremely simple. If your child is polite on the street, gives way to old women, is responsible for business and courteous to elders, you can consider that it is you with your own hands, or rather, with your actions, you have formed an ideal character in your child. At the same time, it’s not so scary that your boy throws socks around the room, like his dad - this is not a character trait, but a shortcoming of most men, with whom women have been struggling since time immemorial.
Only parents (as well as grandparents) are responsible for the formation of the child's character, since it is formed in their image and likeness. When a child grows up, his character is influenced by peers whom he can copy. Do you want to raise a good and well-bred child, look at yourself in the mirror, perhaps what you don’t like about the character of the baby is your problem too? You can correct any character trait of your child, the main thing is to set a goal and move persistently towards it, and first of all by your own example.

Advice

If a child makes a mistake, you must be strict, but at the same time show the baby that you treat him well. In no case do not tell him that he is bad, rather tell him how you love him, and that is why his act upset you so much.

Little tyrant

When the baby has the first whims, and he begins to show his perseverance, stubbornness and resistance to the words and requests of his parents, this does not mean that your child does not have the simplest and best character. Although it is precisely on this occasion that mothers begin to worry that they are raising a tyrant, and dads briskly take up the belt. Just don't do it! Since these manifestations in a three-year-old child are not a manifestation of character, but its formation and how this character will be directly depends on the parents, on how they behave, what they say. The above signs indicate the age crisis of the child, who is supposed to behave in this period. The kid is exploring the boundaries of what is permitted. Your task is to define these boundaries. Do it tactfully but firmly.

You can either write your own.

Often, parents, talking with their friends, say that their baby has a difficult or, conversely, mild character, but not everyone knows how it develops, and what factors, other than parental upbringing, can affect this.

From the moment of birth, the baby lives in a world whose boundaries are expanding more and more, as his physical needs grow, and in the process, the child's perception of the world around him and himself changes. Character in its entirety is revealed only after a few years, and it is formed gradually, and not immediately from the first days of life. However, in the early years, the so-called “foundation” is really laid, which will become the basis for those features of a person’s character that will manifest themselves with age.

What is laid down by nature

A newborn can only assess his own state at the level of “I feel good” or “I feel bad”, but his activity in the outside world is actually very small, since he spends most of his time in a dream. However, important processes take place in the baby's brain during sleep. This explains why some babies are calm and unruffled, while others constantly scream and give their parents sleepless nights.

Perhaps, at first glance, it seems that little children simply do not know what they want, but in fact it is during this period that their temperament is formed. This is not yet a character, but only a predisposition to one of its types, that is, a program for the work of the psyche, laid down at birth. The concept of "temperament" is usually understood as some of the dynamic characteristics of the human psyche: the level of activity, features of movements and emotions.

The most famous classification of temperaments, adopted as the main among psychologists, is their division into four types: melancholic, sanguine, phlegmatic and choleric. Many parents from the first days of their baby's life immediately assign him one of these types, and, accordingly, draw conclusions about what his character will be like. However, they are mistaken, since temperament is only the basis on which everything else is subsequently built. Parents should understand the temperament of the baby only in order not to subsequently reverse these features of his psyche and correctly build the process of education.

Awareness of oneself as a person

The baby changes every day. Even yesterday, he did not react to anything except food and wet diapers, but today it already seems that his actions have become more meaningful. At the age of about three months, when the baby first begins to recognize others and react to their appearance with a smile, cheerful cooing and movements, an important phase of his psyche begins. From the moment the child begins to interact with others, a period of active formation of his character begins.

By the age of six months, the baby has grasping movements, which soon turn into purposeful desires to take this or that thing. At the end of the first year of life, the baby begins to move independently - crawl, roll from side to side, and soon learn to stand up and walk.

It is at this time that the main task of parents is to give the baby a feeling of maximum protection and a sense of security. If the baby understands that he has nothing to defend himself against, subsequently unpleasant traits due to defensive reactions will not appear in his character.

Cognition of the world around

Starting from the second year of life and before the onset of school age, the child's psyche is formed most actively. Moving in space comes to the fore, and every day the baby learns more and more about the world around him: he meets new people, discovers previously unknown objects, places, names. It is at this age that he develops the basics of behavior in various situations, and the baby learns to be independent.

The environment of the baby at this time most strongly influences the formation of character, so it is so important for parents during this period to teach the baby everything that is necessary. It is better to convey useful information for the baby not with moralizing and punishments for misbehavior, but by showing it by example and with the help of fun games. Such important character traits as perseverance, courage, sociability and the ability to empathize are very easy to instill in a child in collective games with interesting plots and rules.

What is character, and how to influence its formation

Character is a combination of intellectual, moral, strong-willed and emotional traits formed on the "foundation" of temperament. Different proportions of the manifestation of certain traits determine the individuality of the character of each person.

Intellectual traits include observation, curiosity, flexibility of mind and prudence. To form these qualities in a child, parents need to be attentive to everything that happens every day around the baby, and also play educational games with him. Ask the child to find a connection between events (it is cold outside because the wind is blowing; when the wind blows, the trees sway, etc.), read books together, learn songs and poems, teach him counting and writing skills. The most important thing is that such activities should not be boring, otherwise the baby will lose interest in them very quickly.

Emotional traits cannot be developed through exercise, so the only thing parents can do is help their child experience as many positive emotions as possible. Teach him to take care of pets, play games, watch and discuss various films and cartoons with your baby, learn dances and listen to music. Do not forget to praise the child for the initiative or a good deed. Gradually explain to the baby what sympathy and empathy are.

In order for the baby to develop strong-willed character traits - independence, determination, endurance and the ability to take the initiative into your own hands, teach him to set goals and achieve them, show patience and perseverance, solve complex problems, and, of course, let the child make decisions independently, starting with the smallest things. Let the baby choose for himself, you will read to him at night, which playground you will go for a walk, what kind of porridge he will eat for lunch.

Moral traits, such as a sense of duty, honesty, humanity, collectivism, are also formed in the crumbs under the influence of parents. If the child did not do the right thing, do not scold him, but discuss the situation with him, help him find a way out of it and praise the baby for telling you everything honestly.

In order for a child to grow up as a kind and sympathetic person, from the very first years of life, teach him that it is impossible to mock sick people and animals, and explain that you need to respect the feelings and opinions of other people. Under the guidance of sensitive and attentive parents, the baby will definitely grow up as an interesting personality.

Victoria Gritsuk