The guy leaves and then comes back. Will a man return if he left himself - the psychology of men: is it worth accepting, relationships after returning. He misses all the good things that happened between you

18.07.2023

After a quarrel, a woman waits for the first step from a young man and sometimes does not understand why he is silent and does not go to reconciliation. In order not to be offended in vain, it is important to understand how long it takes for an average man to get bored after a breakup. Men's psychology is very different from women's, do not forget about it.

About the feelings of a man after a breakup

Women consider men to be thick-skinned creatures who easily endure separation and at the same time do not experience suffering. Actually it is not. It's just that the representatives of the stronger sex do not show their emotions in public. In the company of friends, the guy is independent and indifferent, and at home he "drowns his grief at the bottom of the glass."

Men are so arranged that they cannot stand pity. They are strong and independent, not whiners and sufferers, so they carefully hide their feelings from friends and acquaintances after parting with their beloved. They muffle their pain in several ways:

Has it ever happened that the ex pops up like the devil out of a snuffbox? He writes again, sends flowers, calls to meet, but not a word about what he wants to return you to. Usually, it's just a "need to talk" or a chance meeting on the way to work.

But you suffered for a year and threw it away in tears! And he, as if nothing had happened!

First, indignation passes in a wave, and then the thought returns on repeat: “Why not? And suddenly changed? Maybe he loves? And this is the biggest meanness of the situation.

The former, like a boomerang, flies unexpectedly and rarely by.

I'll tell you what happened to you, and why he needs you again. Read, understand, memorize!

So, 5 reasons for his comeback, which do not need to be conducted:

1. Revenge

Was it a chance meeting or he saw a new photo in your profile - it doesn't matter.

Such a man will sit on your head and dangle your legs.

2. Good sex

On the one hand, even a compliment addressed to you. You may even think that you were his “best”. But on the other hand ... yes, when he is in a new relationship, or has already stepped over after breaking up.

Many want sex, but few enjoy it.

If he felt good with you, and then was not impressed, he will come for more. And, most likely, he knows what you want, what you fantasize about.

Women's gloss for the most part claims that such a nostalgic is not a crime at all. Even the norm.

And he gives a bunch of arguments: convenient, safe, you can experiment, take the initiative.

But let's be honest... You broke up because there was a reason. In men and women, one of the leading roles is also taken over by emotional intimacy.

Yes. Maybe convenient. But pleasure as then - no one promised you. People are changeable not only in views, but also in preferences.

And nobody guarantees you safety. God alone knows who he slept with after you.

To warm up his interest can also be something that you chose to forget. And it encourages some to prove that he can still do it like no other.

Think carefully before agreeing. He will play enough and quit, and then you have to close another gestalt.

3. He is lonely

If we compare life, then the second often wins in the storyline.

Maybe he is bald (of course, not as cool as me :)). Or he got fat, fell into depression, his life does not add up as a whole (this, fortunately, bypassed me).

They knocked down his arrogance, because they want better, and you liked something more about him than “clothes”.

There are a couple of nuances. And let's be honest. He realized that you were generally good and wants to return to this state at YOUR expense.

Often this impulse is unconscious. Like happy childhood memories that you keep coming back to.

Honey, there's no need to save anyone. Everyone needs to work on themselves and on relationships at the same time. This is the whole point of personal growth.

4. You became successful

You got what you long dreamed of without his participation and help. This point is slightly different from the first point, although they are similar in one thing: success, like happiness, is different for everyone.

She wanted to travel, promoted a blog, organized an exhibition of her paintings and sold each for a million, and he insisted that there was no talent, that you couldn’t earn money from this.

I doubted, underestimated, instead of support and encouragement ...

“Sveta has already opened a beauty salon, Masha paints pictures, but not as cheap as you, but Irka, my classmate has already traveled all over Europe, where are you before her! Do you have any ideas?"

This is a success!

It doesn't matter who dumped who. He made me doubt myself - you can’t stay with such a man and return to him too.

Such men usually count themselves among the witnesses of your triumph. They believe that their pseudo-motivation became the main impetus to success.

If you have already tried on the role of "strong and independent" and the former suddenly appeared on the horizon - think about it. It's time to work hard on yourself.

Bring back the lost and forgotten femininity to attract worthy and strong men.

5. He wants to start over

Relations with the former develop as with an old frying pan.

You see a brand new and beautiful one in the window - with a non-stick coating and a heat-resistant handle, but you pass by. Because on an old woman, eggs are fried easier and tastier.

Likewise with men, you have two options: create and develop in new relationships with a new man, or get stuck in those that are easier and more familiar with the old one.

Honey, everything that is connected in the past takes energy to create the present. Think about it!

What are you missing?

If you look at his profile on Facebook again and remember before going to bed “how good it was then” - it's time to diversify life. Remember a forgotten hobby, go to, upgrade your personality, meet friends.

But, most importantly, live in the present!

Yes, there are good reasons why you can and sometimes even need to get in touch after breaking up. For example, you have a common child.

But this is a topic for another article. The approaches and psychology of interaction are also completely different. And a relationship is not even necessary for this.

Remember, you have a thousand chances to become happier.

With faith in you
Yaroslav Samoilov.

Why go back to an ex-girlfriend, if once it was decided to leave? This question torments all women who, after separation, began to be overcome by calls and visits from former boyfriends. Psychologists immediately warn: not all reasons are as optimistic and sincere as we would like, so weigh your decisions well ...

Why do ex-boyfriends go back to their previous lovers?

You can not fit all the examples under the same brush. Each specific departure and return of a former man is unique: psychologists start from the original reason for the breakup, the psychotype of a person, his visions, attitudes, character, compatibility with a partner, etc. Only then can one accurately determine the motive for the return of a single person. Today we will consider the most common reasons for which the former reminds of themselves.

So, why do men return to former passions:

Unrealistic expectations from a breakup

Psychology sometimes plays a cruel joke with us, forcing us to appreciate something only when it is lost. Here the former return just for this occasion. Moreover, they can leave for completely different reasons: to take a breath of fresh air, escape from the routine, go in search of something better, because of a midlife crisis, etc.

Usually a man returns to an ex-woman, because he realizes that no one needs him, there will be no one better than her, so it's time to start appreciating the bird in your hand, rather than chasing the unknown. Here, the former partner rarely elevates a woman to the rank of the most significant people, basically he just needs to return to his comfort zone. He is scared, confused, depressed. So think three times: do you need it, is it worth accepting someone who returns because of their own unjustified hopes?

fears

If your ex was a childish and insecure person, it is fear that will drive him back to you. Basically, he ran away out of fear. At first he was afraid of a serious relationship, obligations, responsibility, the future. Surely you noticed how he moved away from “adult” conversations, decision-making, was afraid to make promises, avoided situations where he had to prove himself a man, etc.?

What makes him come back? Now the ex appears on the horizon because of the fear of change. He is so unadapted to life that he is afraid to start his life from a new leaf, to get acquainted with other girls, to get used to them, to conquer. It is better to return to a place where everything is clear, foreseen, calm, reliable, smooth. If we talk about the timing, then in this case, the ex-boyfriends return quite quickly: from a week to a couple of months.

Disappointment in a new passion

This reason for the return of the former is considered one of the most common among married people (those who are together for an extended amount of time). Men, carried away by another passion, naively assume that with each new girl it will be even easier, more comfortable, better. After all, she has a different character, similar views, understandable positions. She doesn't demand, she doesn't scream, she cares, she serves breakfast in bed, she satisfies every need...

But what is really happening? In real life, you need to work on new relationships, and all dreams of an ideal life together are shattered by harsh life. It turns out that the companion cannot remember in any way that her partner does not tolerate garlic, does not know how to iron shirts, refuses to discuss the evening news, etc. Passion subsides, and disappointment comes to replace it.

And when people do not want to get to know partners, get used to each other, build the foundation of relationships, a man realizes that the former chosen one was an ideal companion for life, therefore, with all his heart he strives to return to her.

Jealousy

Jealousy, which makes men return to the former, psychologists call primitive instincts, otherwise it is difficult to explain its nature. Jealousy closely borders on possessiveness and selfishness, but selfishness will be taken out as a separate reason a little lower.

Sometimes male psychology jokes bad jokes with the representatives of the stronger sex. Some guys are firmly convinced that after a breakup, girls should suffer until the end of their days, dry over lost relationships and, in general, devote their subsequent lives to monasticism. What is their rage, surprise, disappointment when a woman allows herself to start new novels! This becomes a good reason for a man to show up, remind himself, seek meetings with his former lover, endlessly cut off the phone without hiding his emotions. But keep in mind: having reasoned with you and driving away your opponent, it’s not a fact that the ex-boyfriend will stay with you for a long time!

Call of Duty

An exaggerated sense of responsibility and duty is another reason why exes return to ended relationships after breaking up. Unlike infantile individuals, there are men who return to their former chosen ones at the call of conscience. This mainly applies to families where children are present, but their presence is not necessary.

If there are children in the family, exemplary fathers return for this reason. “You are a man, so you must be responsible for your actions, be responsible for what you do, act according to your conscience,” boys are taught from childhood. If the guy had a personal example (a decent father), then this man will be the same. Not giving a damn about inner feelings, he will still return to do “the right way”: give children a full-fledged family, provide for and educate them, give them the necessary education, etc. Whether it’s good or bad, it’s up to the woman to decide. You must understand the true essence of the family reunion: the former man returned not because of feelings for you, but because of his own principles. What to do with it, think carefully!

Also, the former return due to problems with the previous chosen one. Illness, pregnancy, financial difficulties, moral instability, etc. In this case, a man is driven to reconciliation by guilt, pity, anxiety, a desire to help or protect a loved one. It is unlikely that the listed motives are connected with love ...

selfishness

Selfishness closely borders on jealousy, but it has a slightly different meaning for the return of former chosen ones. Absolutely every man is an owner, and the degree of possessiveness depends on the accompanying factors. Some representatives of the stronger sex, by associating themselves with a woman, actually appropriate her for themselves. And not only the companion herself, but everything that surrounds her: relatives, the territory where she lives / works, friends, places of leisure, etc.

As soon as the former partner notices that the previous chosen one is becoming happy, independent, successful, cheerful, the real instinct of the protector wakes up in him. He will begin to make any attempts to regain the attention of a woman: he calls to find out about business, insists on meetings, shows his interest. Usually only teenagers and young men play with feelings like this, but if a mature man behaves like this, this is a real disaster. With such chosen ones, more than one woman was left crippled!

The former boyfriend is firmly convinced: women are property that only they have the right to dispose of! Even if the couple has already broken up, he will still defend HIS! So if a man returns when he was forgotten a long time ago, when everything is getting better for you and you have already breathed deeply, you should know that he is ruled by pure selfishness! Why do it? Prove your irresistibility, significance in front of you, confirm your influence, once again raise your self-esteem.

Selfish men, returning to their former passion, do not think at all about the feelings of another person, they are guided solely by their own desires!

Love

Not all reasons why ex-men return to past relationships are destructive. Sometimes couples reunite due to awareness of their own feelings.

This happens in several scenarios. A man can leave to understand himself, to know his desires, to understand his feelings. Or due to the mistakes made (his own or his partner), in order to consider further behavior. This is not the main thing, the main thing is that a person really understands himself before he decides to return. This is the mature act of a true lover.

Separation makes it clear to people in love a lot: do they want to be together, are they ready to accept (appreciate) each other, work on relationships, etc. Psychologists say: if a man leaves a relationship to think everything over, he returns after that for the whole life!

And although women experience separation more acutely, psychologists insist: no matter how the matter ends, no matter what the outcome happens, take it as a life stage, and not the end of the world. If the ex-boyfriend expresses a desire to return, the main thing is not to rush. Hasty decisions are the worst enemy that prevents you from weighing everything properly! Trust your feelings, observe, analyze. Let only love rule your relationship!

Useful video:

The feeling of falling in love is wonderful, and the realization that a woman has reliable support and protection in the form of her man gives additional strength and a sense of peace. The hardships of life are much easier to bear together. Relationships fill life with new colors.

Parting...

But no one is perfect in this world, and it happens that in one moment everything changes. It would seem that just yesterday the chosen one looked at his woman with a look full of love and passion, but today he is cold and as if completely closed to communication. Sometimes cooling in a relationship occurs temporarily, but it happens that this leads to the fact that the couple ceases to exist. The man leaves, and, left alone, the woman can only think and guess what the man will decide after parting. Will he return?

Why did it happen so?

Having the fact of discrepancy, one should initially understand the reasons for what happened. It's no secret that the atmosphere in a relationship directly depends on the woman. So what often leads to a breakup? The reasons are different:

The feeling that everything has come to pass. Feelings lose their sharpness over time - this is inevitable, but every woman can try to refresh them.
Absorption by life. Many ladies put chores much higher than the need to devote personal time to their chosen one. Even in the cleanest and most tidy house, it is unlikely that anyone will like it. A man can afford a housekeeper, a cook, as well as the rest of the household staff, he needs a chosen one for spending time together and feeling.
Communication with a lover in a pretentious tone. Sooner or later, even the most resilient will escape from such moral oppression. No man makes any claims.
Conflicts with relatives on the part of a woman in which she does not take his side.
The fading of passion, for the restoration of which no action is taken.
Lack of love and deep feelings.

What should a woman do if she wants a man to return?

After a period of emotional distress, pouring tears into the pillow and several evenings spent in the company of girlfriends, discussing how ungrateful guys are, there comes a stage when something needs to be changed. Whether men return after a breakup mainly depends on the female mood - what measures will be taken and what result will follow.

The first thing to do is take care of yourself. Left alone, a woman gets a little more free time, which is not worth spending bursting into tears, reveling in her own grief and complaining to everyone she meets about her tragic fate. This period can be perfectly filled with useful activities. First of all, calm down, listen to yourself, understand what you want, and not what you need. It's time to love your nature. This is where building healthy and happy relationships with other people begins. A woman who values and loves herself will definitely attract a worthy partner.

Men's thoughts

I wonder what men think after a breakup? As a rule, they also try to understand themselves, their feelings. Some try to just take a break from living together, devote time to hobbies, meet friends. Those who immediately jumped into new ones from previous relationships, in the initial period enjoy the novelty of communication, burning passion, etc. Then there comes a time when a man makes a choice - to remain single, develop a new relationship or return to an ex-woman.

Actions and feelings of a young man

The behavior of men after parting is sometimes surprising. Especially if the initiative to break lies with him. Instead of completely disappearing from the life of the former, he begins to look for meetings, regularly reminds himself, tries to attract attention. It is not uncommon for a man to call after a breakup, catching his ex by surprise. Such actions take place when the culprit of the gap feels confused. After all, he is not used to being alone, making any decisions on his own, especially if the couple has been together for a long period of time.

The feelings of a man after parting are ambiguous. On the one hand, he is seized by a feeling of freedom and lightness, on the other hand, he often becomes a hostage to such a situation. At first this is not a problem. However, the situation gets a little more complicated later on. When a man is left just alone with himself, it is much easier for him to figure it out.

If a young man has another girl ...

If at this moment he is in the company of a new chosen one, he most often wants to just run away. It seems that the relationship captures him, but it’s one thing to stealthily see his mistress, enjoy intrigue and passionate meetings, and it’s quite another to live with her on the same territory. In everyday life, a person is known as best as possible. And once a sweet stranger can turn into a grumpy roommate in a moment. It happens that having caught your chosen one in communication with the former, the current passion for the first time shows its true face.

Possible Scenarios

Further events develop according to several scenarios:

If the reason for the breakup is leaving for another woman, then, despite all the pain and tragedy of what happened, you need to try to save your own face, and also disperse on a friendly note. You never know how life will turn out and what will happen in time. Perhaps a new relationship is not destined to develop into something more, then there is a chance to do everything so that the man returns after parting.
When a young man goes nowhere, simply because the passion has faded. Often this happens after many years of family life, when the children become adults, and nothing binds him to his wife. In this case, you can try to get your husband back by simply talking to him honestly. Maybe we should give him more freedom. Men of the age like to devote their free time to their favorite activities, such as fishing, hunting, etc. During this period, it is better to support a partner, with his permission, you can join his hobby. Then, perhaps, common interests and topics for communication will arise.
If a man is tired of watching his chosen one in an untidy form, always dissatisfied and offended, then you need to take care of yourself as efficiently as possible. And do not complain about the lack of time. Now there are many ways to make life easier. Put yourself in order, visit a beautician, a hairdresser, do a manicure and pedicure. Find time for a relaxing massage session. Transformed, tune in a friendly way. Ask your chosen one to help you improve your relationship. So you better understand why men return after a breakup. The psychology of the act will become more understandable. This means that in the future it will be possible to exclude all the reasons leading to a break in relations.

If you look at it, it becomes obvious that the answer to the question of whether men return after parting depends largely on the woman herself. If she sees the point in continuing the relationship, there are unsaid kind words and not everything has yet been done together, then this, of course, should be. Further, at the initiative of the woman, everything will happen so that the union is reunited. If there is no point in further efforts, as well as in the relationship itself, then it is not worth trying.

When a man returns after a breakup, a woman has a choice - to take him back or burn bridges and let him float freely. In any case, after this moment, life will change forever. After the events experienced, none of the couple will remain the same.

Why is it returning?

There are many reasons why men return after a breakup. Human psychology is arranged in a complex way, so it is worth understanding everything in order. Men are returning because:

It is uncomfortable for them to be without a chosen one, her role in their life is quite large.
In comparison, truth is born. It often happens that the former, in the opinion of a man, has better qualities than a new passion.
A representative of the strong half of humanity sometimes needs time to understand how deep his feelings for the former chosen one are. When they are serious enough, the relationship is rekindled.

These are the most common reasons why men return after a breakup. Psychology is a complex thing, it is not so easy to understand it. There are actually as many reasons to return to the old relationship as there are personal views. However, some hints can be found in the above.

If he comes back to you...

When a man returns after a breakup and a woman decides to take him back, the stage of restoring trust and relationships as a whole begins. Now it is important to take into account all the reasons for the gap and prevent the repetition of mistakes. It does not hurt to always find time to put yourself in order, to establish it in a house or apartment. Also, from now on, all claims, reproaches and accusations should be replaced with requests. Praise your man more and say nice words to him more often.

Old relationships in a new way

Now it’s clear why men return after a breakup. They need a new relationship, but with an already proven partner. During this period of attention, he receives more reproaches and less pressure. Life is getting better, relationships get a new breath. Now a woman needs to show all her wisdom and establish a connection with her beloved. An important component of a full-fledged relationship in which both partners are happy is, of course, intimacy.

In this, you should show your imagination, buy linen for special occasions, at least sometimes create a suitable atmosphere and often please your loved one with bodily caresses. The same goes for tactile touch every day. You can make a relaxing massage after a working day, which will relieve fatigue and stress. Give it more attention and effort, and soon life will begin as if anew.

Exodus

When the relationship returns to its previous course with renewed vigor, it is no longer particularly important why men return after parting. Human psychology is arranged in such a way that if at first there was an interest in the analysis of the root cause, in the future it is lost. Partners are just trying to improve their relationship.

When the outcome of a breakup is not so rosy, you just have to put up with it. This happens in life, and it is better to really let go of the person, and with it the situation, although this is not easy. Over time, life will show that such an act was the best decision possible.

Quite often you can hear that life consists of a series of disappointments and losses, losses and partings. Is it really? But then what about the folk wisdom that everything that the Lord gives will certainly turn out for the better? And is it possible to consider that the departure of a man is a kind of positive life? And anyway, why do men leave?

And why do they leave not only ugly and stupid women, but also women who are actually smart and beautiful, and wonderful mistresses, and amazing housewives? Is it just to come back later? And another interesting question: is it true that all men who left the family or from previous relationships will certainly return?

Some statistics

Statistics show that the breakup of relationships, and even more so the breakup of the family, entail the most serious consequences that threaten health and even life.

For example, the breakdown of relationships and divorce often entail not only depressive states, but also suicide attempts. It is interesting that if earlier representatives of the weaker sex complained of a depressed state, then in the last one and a half to two decades, there have been more frequent appeals to psychologists and psychotherapists by men who also have a hard time enduring parting, even if they themselves were the initiator of the break.

The statistics are inexorable: the majority of men, even leaving the family (it does not matter whether it is a civil or official marriage), will start building a new family in the next five years. Please note: they will not look for temporary connections, but will try to build long-term relationships. And such men today are about 65%, and this figure is constantly growing. It is very interesting that most men quite sincerely believe that the "ex" was still better than any next woman who appears in life.

However, the remaining 35% are not at all those who never again tie the knot in new relationships, including marriage: approximately 25% of men marry more than five years after the collapse of the former family, and only a few try to create new serious relationships through marriage. two decades (or even more) after the break of the first.

Unfortunately, according to statistics, men who cannot decide on their attachments in any way spend the best years of their lives alone (without a family).

It is no secret that sometimes men who have left the family try to return to their former life, to their former family, to their former wife, offering to start all over again and try again. Why is this happening? And how often does this happen?

The truth about whether "former" men always come back

Omniscient sociology claims that not all men make an attempt to return to their former girlfriend or even to their former wife. Moreover, such behavior does not depend on age, financial situation, or religious beliefs - that is, it does not depend on anything at all. In a word, far from everyone returns, and far from always.

The fact that any man will certainly return is a myth that has been created by those who are trying to console a woman who is experiencing the departure of a man and a breakup. Interestingly, this myth has existed for a very long time, and it is most often supported by women themselves.

Daughter, goddaughter, best friend are crying from a seemingly irretrievable loss ... Well, how can you not console and not assure that "he will not go anywhere, because they all return."

Again, if a woman (and even more so a young girl) believes that a traitor and a traitor will certainly knock on a familiar door again, then it is really easier for her to survive parting, because, firstly, she understands that she must be attractive (on just in case); secondly, she must achieve and achieve something in order to show at the meeting that she herself is able to cope with everything; thirdly, it’s easier to find some classes (from cooking courses to learning Japanese) in order to demonstrate your employment on occasion.

Of course, if there are children left in the abandoned family, then it is not so often necessary to look for additional classes, because children always require a lot of attention, and a lot of time and effort.

Unfortunately, the fact remains: the same omniscient statistics assert that the return of a departed man should still be perceived not as a pattern, but as some kind of exception. And it is hardly consoling that most often the next chosen one of the wrong one will most likely be like an abandoned one - in any case, this happens almost all the time.

Why does a man either come back or leave for good?

It turns out that a man (age does not matter) can leave and return or leave and disappear forever. What should be the reason?

First, let's answer the question of what the relationship between a man and a woman is based on. Of course, the answer will be words about love, affection, admiration. But in fact, at the heart of any romantic relationship is a certain agreement, which most often no one speaks out loud, and sometimes does not even suspect. And only with a deep psychological analysis it is revealed what exactly the relationship of a particular couple was built on.

The basis of such a kind of contract, on which the couple's relationship is based, can be a sexual component, a financial or any other material component, an emotional component, or a combination of them in any proportion.

Of course, in the overwhelming majority of cases, neither party communicates either its claims or its obligations under such an agreement, but it is precisely the violation of obligations that leads to both the termination of the agreement and the severance of relations.

It is quite clear that if a man believed that dinner and comfort would always be waiting for him at home, but in fact a woman is not even going to cook, then the love of such a couple will disappear very quickly. But if a man married in order to always have a beautiful and relaxed sexual partner at hand, then cutlets, most likely, will not be of interest to him, but the classic statements about a headache will put an end to the relationship very quickly.

Very often, violations of such a peculiar and often tacit agreement are discovered at the beginning of a relationship, so many marriages collapse in the first years, or even in the first months.

Most often, a woman becomes the initiator of the break, since it is the woman who perceives everything that happens more emotionally and does not want to forgive deceit, lies, or, even worse, betrayal. This is especially pronounced at the beginning of a relationship, when there are no children yet and there are many opportunities to build a new relationship with another person.

No matter how strange it may seem, however, men most often return to those women who themselves broke off the relationship and themselves showed the man the door. If a man left on his own, on his own initiative, then the chances of his return tend to zero, and any attempts to return him will either be completely unsuccessful or very short-lived.

What happens? If a man was expelled from the family, because he seriously "screwed up", then it is he who will try to return. Why?

What reasons for leaving the family are most often mentioned by men themselves?

Meetings, walks, parks, boats... Movies, kisses, ice cream... The decision to live together and life together in all its glory, that is, with domestic problems, without romance, with dripping taps and bills for electricity, telephone and other utility bills...

It is said that many family boats crash in everyday life, however, as the results of sociological studies show, in those families where there are no material problems in principle, wrecks are also quite possible.

Who is guilty? This age-old question always requires a full and honest answer. How is a guilty man determined? What are the most common reasons for leaving the family?

Reason #1, she is a completely universal reason for leaving the family, - incompatibility of characters. It is interesting that something completely different is sometimes put into the concept of “incompatibility of characters”: sometimes these are views on life, sometimes opinions about Chinese cuisine; sometimes temperament, sometimes political views; either the presence of bad habits, or the unwillingness to reckon with the opinion of the second half ... Most often, the banal phrase "incompatibility of characters" can hide disrespect for each other, lack of love and mutual understanding. And if no one in the family hears anyone, does not understand, does not respect, then what does the characters have to do with it? And what family are we talking about?

But it may also be that a man does not want to leave his bachelor habits for anything (walks almost until the morning, spends money solely at his own discretion, throws socks and towels into the wash together) and does not want to hear any objections. And again: is it about character compatibility? Probably, a man behind words about incompatibility is simply trying to hide some of his shortcomings, inability or unwillingness to negotiate and make concessions.

Reason number 2 - the untidiness of the spouse. It happens that men call the cause of a broken relationship the lack of a manicure or a hairstyle of a spouse, or an old tracksuit, or wrinkles that have appeared, or rough skin on their hands ... They say that men love with their eyes, that is, their fine mental organization cannot come to terms with an unfashionable haircut, or with untimely dyed hair, or worn-out slippers ...

And it would still be, albeit with difficulty, understandable if such claims were made by a handsome man well-groomed to the tips of his nails, but often such or similar claims are made by a creature in holey socks and training trousers with outstretched knees. And this refined taste of this citizen offends the absence of a French manicure on his wife's hands? And nothing can offend a wife in this dull spectacle? Or maybe the golden treasure offered to vacuum the apartment, or even wash the kitchen? Yep, wait! But do not rush about with a mop and a rag in an evening dress, so that your beloved delights his gaze decently flooded with beer!

Of course, sometimes the appearance of any person does not provide for a photo shoot, but you should still be realistic and understand that untidiness as a reason for breaking up relationships can be true in about one case in several tens, or even hundreds of thousands.

Reason number 3 - sexual dissatisfaction. It is hard to argue that the sexual component is very important for the complete harmony of family life. However, it would not hurt to take into account several other factors.

Firstly, different people have completely different temperaments, and it is very strange that this issue was not clarified even before the conclusion of an official marriage, because now many couples first live in a civil marriage, and only then enter into an official marriage.

Secondly, after washing, cooking, cleaning, ironing and other household chores, a woman may not always have some kind of erotic desire - a feeling of fatigue is much more likely. And what kind of violent sex is there if the only desire is just to sleep? But a woman also gives a lot of time and effort to children, especially while they are very small.

No one argues that a man's sexual appetites can sometimes remain unsatisfied. But is a man always ready not only to frolic in bed and realize his erotic fantasies, but also, at least partially, to unload his wife from household chores and problems, so that she still has a desire not only to quickly fall asleep and at least get some rest?

Reason #4 which men call routine. Every day is the same, every weekend is the same. No novelty, no bright emotions, nothing new and exciting…

But many men in all seriousness consider themselves hunters! At the same time, they are somehow not interested in “hunting” for the well-being of the family, because it is somehow monotonous. Now, if you pick up that beauty and wave to Cyprus! Or at least to the nearest beach on the local river ...

But the fact is that family life simply cannot consist of continuous fireworks and holidays and most often consists of routine chores: cleaning, washing, cooking, caring for children and domestic plants or animals require constancy.

Birthday happens only once a year, holidays are also much shorter than routine and annoying everyday life. And the life of a long-legged beauty, which today seems like a holiday, in the end may turn out to be even more boring and incomprehensible.

Maybe it would be smarter to replace the word "routine" with the word "stability"?

But are women to blame? Do they control a calm, balanced, reasonable and reliable man?

And if the craving for freedom is expressed in a constant desire to “jump off to the pampas” and in a persistent unwillingness to do at least something useful in the house, then maybe let him get his freedom?

However, does not this story resemble the famous fable of Ivan Krylov? After all, any freedom and any flutter must be provided by something and someone. And where is he going to go in search of freedom? Maybe he knows such a lady who really sincerely agrees to deal with a "free hunter"?

Reason number 6 - adultery. Like it or not, but husbands cheat on their wives, and wives sometimes cheat on their husbands. Sometimes betrayal is accidental, sometimes it's unfortunate circumstances, but sometimes it's really a betrayal.

Add to this male pride, add a sense of ownership - here you have the departure from the family.

Although there are other cases when a man, even despite obvious betrayals, simply does not want to change anything in an established life and prefers to pretend that he does not notice anything.

What if it's love?

No matter how much they scold and condemn the men who left the family, and no matter how stupid, far-fetched and frivolous the reasons for their departure would seem, however, one reason is quite valid. And this good reason is called love.

Many women who are left alone are perplexed: after all, they used to love them. What happened now?

It's no secret that during the life of any person, ideas, preferences, and social circle change. And no one is surprised if a person by the age of thirty has become somewhat different than he was at eighteen. Probably, one can understand in the same way that the social circle changes over time, and this process happens especially quickly when teenagers finish school and adult life begins: someone has an institute, someone has a job, someone -the army ... And this new life can seriously change a young man, completely change his priorities.

That is why very early marriages are extremely infrequently very strong and stable: youthful delight and youthful love are replaced by mature feelings that do not always coincide with semi-childish relationships.

Of course, it is very sad when children remain in a broken family, and it is precisely the early pregnancy of a partner that often becomes the reason for early marriage. However, no less sad is life without love, life in an atmosphere of deceit. What is it like for children in such a family? Yes, and a young mother who jumped out to get married, without even having time to take a closer look at life, is likely to be able to find true love and build a real family.

Top six reasons for a man to return

I wonder who formulated the ancient Eastern wisdom that says that you cannot enter the same river twice? However, some men still try to return to the woman they once left, and the departure scenario was not always peaceful. What drives these representatives of the strong half of the human race?

Men claim that, having been alone, they understood a lot and rethought a lot, so they are ready to try again and ask for a chance to prove that everything will be different. But will it be? And what really pulls men to return?

The first reason is sex. If you face the truth, then sexual relations really play a huge role in the life of every person. And if the couple's sexual relationship developed very harmoniously, then the man will undoubtedly want to return to them. And this will be a very serious incentive to return.
However, life consists of many aspects, and if during the first attempt to create a family, some aspects of life still outweighed even the most ideal and unique sex, then where is the guarantee that everything will not happen again the second time?
Unfortunately, adults really change so rarely that these cases are countless and they can all be considered exceptions. The man came back because of sex?
Wonderful! But there are many other sides to life, and if a man has not been able to satisfactorily resolve any issues other than sexual ones before, can he this time? Will the woman be left with good sex this time, but with a bunch of other problems, and not only her own? And can a woman be sure that with the birth of a child, when she is completely occupied with the baby, the hero-lover will not go looking for another good sex, but this time on the side?
The second reason is rethinking. It is known that the best way to learn something is to experience everything first hand (the so-called empirical learning path). Having been alone and missing the comfort of home, a man can reflect and change some lines of his behavior in order to make an attempt to return.
Of course, such an option is quite possible, and a man, indeed, can take into account some of his wrong actions and deeds. However, one should not forget that a person can change only in early childhood, and after five years, all changes are most often explained only by external adaptation to the requirements of society, while inside a person is unlikely to change.
Of course, any, even the most pragmatic woman wants to believe in miracles, but in real life there are no miracles ... Has the man who swears that he rethinked everything change? May be…
However, having returned to the familiar environment and familiar environment, it is very likely that the old stereotypes of behavior will return. Of course, if a woman feels that her main purpose in life is to correct the shortcomings of an adult man, then she can make another attempt. However, I remember that the first attempt was unsuccessful ...
The third reason is loneliness. A man who leaves the family for some reason believes that either he does not need anyone, or he can easily find a replacement for the broken relationship.
However, real long-term loneliness suits only a very few people, and finding a full-fledged replacement is also very often very difficult. Therefore, the man, having toiled himself and realizing that nothing better is yet to be expected, makes attempts to return: either he will call on the phone, or he will “accidentally” meet him on the street. And suddenly it will be possible to infiltrate the old reliable place? And there, you see, and everything will go on as before ...
Of course, it happens that the return of the “prodigal parrot” can be quite successful if a person has really seriously revised some of his positions and views, but there is a very great chance to repeat old mistakes and the old path – up to the previous finale. But this path can become more difficult and more traumatic.
The fourth reason - there was no better. Most men, when they leave a family, think that they can build a completely new relationship and that with another woman and in another family, everything will be completely different.
However, more often than not, it doesn't work out the other way. And this happens simply because “everyone is the same in the arena”, that is, the man remains the same, his habits, desires and opportunities remain the same, so often all claims against this person are repeated in the new family.
In addition, a rather big surprise can be expected from memory, which most often brings to the fore only something good and pleasant: coffee on a Sunday morning, a huge birthday cake, joint walks, saving a kitten thrown by someone ... And it is these memories interfere with starting a normal life with another woman.
But that's not all: now life is entering the arena in its most diverse manifestations. There is too much (little) onion (pepper, salt) in cutlets; the porridge is not crumbly enough, the shirt was bought from the wrong brand, you should not go to the stores you are used to ...
Thus, it turns out that it is quite likely that there will be a desire to return to the “former”, which, whatever one may say, today seems to be a more comfortable option.
The fifth reason is the “re-accounting” of values. Sometimes men leave the family for very "non-male" reasons - but just to get rid of some problems, for example, from everyday or material ones.
Where to run in this case from the bitch-wife, who demands the entire salary, before scandals does not approve of drinking-gatherings with supposedly friends, wants some kind of repair ... And the man goes to rehabilitation - of course, to his mother.
Mom immediately begins to rejoice violently and buys another bottle, reports that all her life she could not stand “this scum you foolishly married” ... And then most mothers cheerfully take all power into their own hands (more precisely, they were not going to let go of power). And a man will either have to come to terms with the role assigned to him by his mother, that is, with the role of a sissy and henpecked, or change something ... Change mom? Even funny to hear! Change yourself? What for?
So the thought arises that with his wife, although her mother does not love her, it was not so bad. And it’s better to visit your mother on weekends (or, even better, only on holidays).
The sixth reason is the desire to teach a lesson. Sometimes a man doesn’t like something in his wife: it can be a work schedule, the habit of waking up on a day off at extreme early hours (until two in the afternoon), constant questions about salary, the requirement to brush your teeth in the evening ... But you never know any woman has shortcomings ? And such a dull one can be taught a lesson! And how to teach the best and most intelligibly? That's right, turn around and leave! The wife, of course, will be very frightened and will immediately correct herself!
Well, well, he left ... But the question of whether such a “tutor” can return back may not have a positive answer. Apparently, not all men remember that women very often adhere to the principle of “leaving leave”, besides, leaving the family for “educational purposes”, men often forget that their pseudo-upbringing may well turn against them and that they are very they run the risk of being alone, which is unlikely to be called proud, but stupid - as much as you like.

Why do women let men come back?

A broken cup or plate is most often thrown into the trash. And only some especially valuable specimens that have collection value are subject to restoration. But after all, no one uses such exclusive cups, the cracks on which are carefully sealed, for tea drinking, that is, for their intended purpose.

So why do women who know everything about broken cups try to fix cracked or even completely destroyed relationships? Is it reasonable? And even more strange if a woman allows a man to leave the family and return several times.

Probably, many women are afraid to be alone. But is it really better to sit and wait by the sea for the weather or the return of a husband who has galloped away for another "hunt"?

Some women traditionally attribute their permission to return to their difficult financial situation. What can you say? Is it possible to notice that in the modern world a woman is not so much dependent on a man in material terms and that work, especially in a large settlement, can always be found - it all depends on determination and perseverance.

Another reason that women often give is “where is he, poor thing, without me?” or "he'll be lost without me." But after all, when he left, did he think about something?

And you can hear a lot of other reasons, although only one can be considered really serious - love, and love is mutual.

Indeed, everyone can make a mistake, wrong actions happen in the life of any person. And it is very important to correct this mistake in time and never repeat it again. The same applies to the departure of a man. If it was a mistake that he admitted and which he is correcting, this is one thing, but if it is licentiousness, selfishness, unwillingness to consider others, then why does the family need this?

conclusions

Why do men leave and come back? They leave not to defend their country from enemy invasion, but just like that - to take a break from family responsibilities, live on their own, relax ...

Because a real man is strength, reliability and confidence in the future, and not endless problems and traveling "back and forth" ...